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Dana Carvey
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David Spade
以讽刺和自我嘲讽著称的喜剧演员和演员
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Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon: Fallon分享了他对Airbnb的喜爱,并详细描述了其优于酒店的优势,例如私密性、独立空间和方便亲友居住等。他还谈到了自己对SNL的热爱,以及在节目中表演的经历,包括“Chopping Broccoli”的创新演绎和与管弦乐队的合作。此外,他还展现了多才多艺的一面,例如演奏乐器和进行各种模仿。 Dana Carvey: Carvey高度评价了Fallon的职业素养和个人魅力,称赞他台前幕后表现一致,真诚友善,反应迅速,情绪积极乐观,并且在SNL时期就展现了多才多艺。Carvey还分享了与Fallon一起吃饭的经历,以及Fallon对他的职业生涯产生的影响。 David Spade: Spade从个人角度出发,分享了他与Fallon、Chris Rock和Quinn一起吃饭的经历,以及Chris Rock在Twitter上宣布感染新冠的插曲。他还讲述了在滑雪场发生的趣事,以及与Norm Macdonald、Dennis Miller一起演出的经历。此外,Spade还模仿了多位喜剧演员的表演风格,并分享了一些在SNL时期和电影拍摄中的趣事。 Jimmy Fallon: Fallon分享了他对Airbnb的喜爱,并详细描述了其优于酒店的优势,例如私密性、独立空间和方便亲友居住等。他还谈到了自己对SNL的热爱,以及在节目中表演的经历,包括“Chopping Broccoli”的创新演绎和与管弦乐队的合作。此外,他还展现了多才多艺的一面,例如演奏乐器和进行各种模仿。Fallon还谈到了自己与其他喜剧演员的合作,以及在脱口秀节目中的各种经历。 Dana Carvey: Carvey高度评价了Fallon的职业素养和个人魅力,称赞他台前幕后表现一致,真诚友善,反应迅速,情绪积极乐观,并且在SNL时期就展现了多才多艺。Carvey还分享了与Fallon一起吃饭的经历,以及Fallon对他的职业生涯产生的影响。Carvey还模仿了Beatles的创作过程,并讲述了与Fallon合作的趣事。 David Spade: Spade从个人角度出发,分享了他与Fallon、Chris Rock和Quinn一起吃饭的经历,以及Chris Rock在Twitter上宣布感染新冠的插曲。他还讲述了在滑雪场发生的趣事,以及与Norm Macdonald、Dennis Miller一起演出的经历。此外,Spade还模仿了多位喜剧演员的表演风格,例如Chris Rock、Adam Sandler、Robert Smigel和Dennis Miller,并分享了一些在SNL时期和电影拍摄中的趣事。Spade还对超市的商品摆放方式、飞机上的服务等现象进行了吐槽,并分享了与阿诺德·施瓦辛格的对话。

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The hosts discuss the advantages of Airbnb over traditional hotels, highlighting privacy and personalization.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800 time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Dana, we got the super talented Jimmy Fallon. Oh, Jim. We're close. I kind of- Jim Fallon and I are very close. James-

Jamie Fallon. Lewis Fallon. Yeah. Is on the show. You know, he's an old- That's right, Dave. Buddy, Dana. I don't even know where I met him. I mean, I must have visited SNL and saw him over there, but-

Kind of click easy with that guy Actually the first time I was on the show On the Tonight Show I thought he was being kind of a fake fan Because he was so effusively nice And then I realized He's like that And he is a fan He's a great guy He's identically like he is backstage As he is on stage Yeah He's a good guy He knows a

Be a talk show host, he knows how to keep that show moving and he's always in a good mood. It's all you want. He's fun and he'll ping pong anything you throw at him. And he's a great audience. I think it's not giving away or talking out of school, but you do do your Michael J. Fox impression. Yeah. And we could see him on the Zoom a little bit and he just fell, he would fall almost out of his chair. He would fall, he'd laugh so hard he'd fall and then he'd spin up the other side.

Not sure how. There'd be an empty Zoom thing and then a giant Jimmy Fallon head would pump up in the front. He'd just pop up. He was doing somersaults in that room. But he was a crusher on SNL from the get-go. Just talented dude. Guitar, music, dance. He could do it all. He's what you call a no-brainer. Yeah. Hey, do you think I could be a sketch player? What can't you do? Yeah, that's a no-brainer. So he...

We're going to talk to him. We're going to cover everything, and we hope you like it. And here's our boy, the good-looking guy. It's a bit of a free fall in the best sense of the word. It's a bit of barely controlled mayhem and laughter, and we don't want to get any letters because I'm from the 50s. Don't write us letters about overtalk because at this point it came from effusiveness. Can you spell that, David? Yes, I can. Effusive. David.

Oh, fuck. I'd be out already. Damn, I thought you had like 150 IQ. No, I spelled effusive the other day. And I also, there's another word I heard a lot lately that I really like. Serendipitous. No, I don't say that a lot. No. No, I say effusively because I- I need it in a sentence. Effusively a lot? I say, why don't you compliment me effusively when I meet people?

Okay, we have to do ads, but here is Jimmy first. We tend to ramble on because we don't really... We don't really. We don't know how to organize our thoughts. It's called ADHD. Look into it, kids. There's pills for it. Anyway, enjoy our friend, James Edward Fallon. Record. Once you see this motherfucker, record. Look at this beautiful...

Look at this. Look at this. Look at this beautiful thing. Let me tell you something right now. Let me tell you something. When I see something this beautiful, I want to touch it. He was the host. Now he's hosted. Now the host is being hosted. I got to touch it. It's so beautiful to see. We asked the questions. He gives the answers.

Now the teachers become the pupil. Oh, he's in the hot seat now. The host is being hosted and roasted. Dude, I can't wait to grill you. Are you going to be hard on me? Yeah, this is like 60 minutes. We got to trend. We don't trend. You got to say something crazy. She's a wacky.

Some wacky stuff. You're doing a show tonight and doing this? Yeah, we got a good show tonight, yeah. That's very nice of you, Jimmy, because this guy busts his fucking hump. This will be on in 2023, but who are the guests tonight? It's Gleek Clark. He's the leader of a planet, Xenon. Fucking Gleek Blop. So, yeah, we have guests from the future. Admiral Globnorb.

Yeah, from the Pentagon. Hey, that microphone's as big as his head. Look at that fucker. I know, because he's rich. That mic? Not as rich as you, Spade. Bullshit. If I had his money, I'd throw mine away. Hey, moneybags. Silver spoon. Hey, moneybags.

Yeah, life was easy for him. You know what I mean? Yeah, he grew up with two spoons in his mouth. All my cash is tied up in most of a Bitcoin. I told you, Jimmy, next time I come on your show, I'm just doing a French accent the whole time. I'll tell you now.

I'm never going to stop. You won't stop? Just come on and just do a French accent the whole time? I won't stop. Remember that thing we did last time? We were out there as two European guys. It was my favorite thing ever. I was just crying. I couldn't stop. I didn't want it to stop. I could have done it for a half an hour. Are you talking about the Legends thing? You're the greatest. No, you're the greatest. Legend. You're a legend. Legend is thrown around a lot these days. I like when people go,

I saw this thing about grown-ups. They go, all you guys are the GOATs. I go, do you know what GOAT means? I think GOAT is one. Do people know they just put a GOAT emoticon? They're too easy with that GOAT emoticon. Hey, you just put it here, make the A plural. You're the best of all those GOATs, you know? You're the GOAT of the GOATs. You're the best of all the GOATs.

You know, Dana, Jimmy. Anyway, thanks for coming on. Yeah. I gotta get to business. You're my first guy said, can we get Fallon for this podcast? They said, the word was no fucking way. So it's your, I'm, your new nickname is dream guest. All right. And you just run with that. I'm ready for the one. Are we started? Is this or no? It's almost over. We're half over now. Oh God. I had a great time.

You have a hard out, but I have a hard out one minute before your heart out. How about that power play? I have a hard out. Who's first? Yeah. My whole life is a hard out. Dana, when I do a podcast, I go, all right, thanks guys. Right in the middle of an interview, they go, thanks what? I go later. And they go, what the fuck's going on? I go,

I feel like I've told it all. David said, we've tortured you enough. We got a guest going downtown. We'll let you go because we've tortured you enough. But we count David's yawns and the amount of little protein bars he has. Oh, wait, I do need one, Heather. Can I get some green juice? Yeah. I got to stay awake for some of this. All right. Yeah, sorry. Here we go. I have a real thing to start with. Do you want to like, are we going to do like a whole thing where you just go like, hi guys, welcome back to Fly on the Wall. We're here with the...

Fuck no, have you heard this dog shit? We just bullshit and then it's over. We record that later. Oh. Yeah. We do an intro at the beginning where we kiss your ass when you're not here. Oh, good. But listen, Dana, here's a funny story about me and Jimmy.

I knew it was going to be about you and Jimmy. It's Jimmy. On IMDB, it says I'm one of Jimmy's friends. That's nice. That's true. I put it on there. The Rolodex King, David. And when I go to New York, Jimmy, the three comedians I call are Jimmy and Chris Rock and Quinn.

And one time about a year ago, we all, that's a fun group. So we all try to rally, you know, Jimmy's really good at rallying out. Jimmy's so busy and he always rallies for dinner or something. So we went out to Lillard and, um,

Oh, Jimmy, you were shooting at Coney Island or something. And you go, I'll try to get over after I'm done with my. Yeah, it was like an hour away from where we are. But that restaurant was so loud that night. Do you remember? Yeah, I know. Yeah. I hate it. Here was the other catch. Yeah. So first of all, you somehow, I go, guys, Jimmy might come if he can. And you beat me there. That was one funny part. And then when we're in the middle of dinner and I'm just plotting how I'm not going to pay most of the dinner, that's all I think about.

And then we all leave, Jimmy. And then you remember two days later, what do we see on Twitter? Oh, yeah. Chris Rock announces on Twitter he has COVID. Ha ha ha!

We don't get a text. We don't get a phone call. So Spade and I call each other. And Spade's like, wait, do we have to follow Chris on Twitter to find out that we might have... I go, luckily, I do follow him and I do know I have enough. You have to hear about that online? Yeah. And then we ask him, he's like, what? You read about it, didn't you? I go, well, yeah, but... That was insane. I mean...

Between a rock and a hard place. Good night. Yeah, it was... Never been done before. I think that's the whole story. Most of that story was just to say we had dinner. Do you end up using any bits from the dinners whenever we hang out? It's sort of a compilation of what all you guys said and it goes into my act.

Well, John Mulaney said on this podcast, he's looking for stories. And David does that too. Like if someone follows him at a McDonald's, he's got a 10 minute chunk. So he likes stories. Yeah. He's a storyteller. Guy asked me straight up for my McNuggets. Straight up. No bullshit. Just give me your McNuggets. Yeah. Why not? He's going to go into it. And I said, fuck. No, I stood my ground. Jimmy, you think I'm a pussy, but I stood my ground. No, didn't you? You gave him one.

I gave him one, yeah. I know the story. Now, Jimmy... He knows the story. Legendary. It's legendary. It's on your IMDb page. Let's see if we can do something about Jimmy's beginnings that he's never been asked that's kind of interesting. No chance. Might be impossible. I did a deep dive. You did? I can't believe... I mean, I love both of you guys so much. I can't even tell you. I want to go into your career and your stuff and everything you've done to influence me. You know, I wanted to be...

Danny Carvey. I wanted to be, that's my whole reason for getting on Saturday Night Live and that was my whole thing. Oh, you said David Spade wrong. Ha ha ha.

I think that's age related because, yeah, David. No, I wanted to be Dana Carvey. I was sitting behind a read-through with a knife. Well, yeah, you were my surrogate. You were my stand-in. Sometimes I'd do the church chat rehearsals. David had to get the dress on and sit in there for camera blocking, which I thought was horrible. David, just for a few minutes, can you sit in there? Dana's resting. But, Jimmy, you were 12 years old.

When I got on SNL. And that's what I call the peak formative year. It's like when I was listening to Monty Python or whatever gets in your brain at that age and through high school. So...

I appreciate you, bro. Thank you. I can't even tell you how much I would... I was such an SNL nerd. I would record it every Saturday night. I would be by myself. I wouldn't be... I didn't want friends over. I didn't want anyone around me. My parents. I didn't want anyone near me. I just wanted to study the show and watch it. And I videotaped it. Then I remember my favorite sketches. And then I would go to parties like...

whatever the next week or whatever. And I would bring videotapes with me with the best clips of SNL. Like I was like a human YouTube just going, or watch this part and watch this thing. But I mean, I was like, I love the chopping broccoli and,

There she went downtown. But can I tell you? She's a lady I know. If I didn't know her, she'd be a lady I didn't know. I didn't know. Did you ever put that out? Like, is that out on Spotify or something? No, the only thing I want to say, which was mind-blowing a few years back when I did your show...

And then I just, it wasn't my idea, but all of a sudden they go, Jimmy wants to do Chopping Broccoli with an orchestra. Remember that? It was fucking crazy. So that was the mic drop of Chopping Broccoli. There was a string orchestra. And then I was playing Chopping Broccoli on a baby grand. I had a terrible hair day because New York water just flattened it. But anyway, that's just my. But I Chopped Broccoli and I took it really far. She chopped, she chopped. She chopped. She chopped. I think.

That's a 20 minute bit of my stand up As you can imagine But anyway that's so you Jimmy We do have a kismet There's a connection to this musicality Of what we do And the way you do impressions and everything I brought a guitar I mean I'm in my office Will you play something?

for us? That'd be awesome. Dana, while Jimmy's futzing around, I have to say that if you're on SNL and you can play an instrument, Jimmy's like the perfect SNL guy. He plays an instrument. He's marginally good looking. Voted sexy as one of the top 50. He was voted one of the tallest hosts

of the year. And he, he's got a harmonic. It's fucking God. I know he's going to do that. Supernatural. He's either going to do, he's going to one of three, either Dylan Lennon or Springsteen, which are all brilliant. Dylan's one, but I thought maybe Neil Young too. Oh,

Neil Young, just give me anything. I'm being entertained now by my guests. Neil Young would play the harmonica like he plays it differently than Dylan. Neil Young plays harmonica with the song, so he's like... There, something changed. Yeah, it's good now, yeah. Can you hear it now?

Now we hear it. Perfect. Neil Young plays the harmonica with the tune of the song. With the notes. Yeah. So it's like... David and Dana Sitting in a tree. Dana and Dave were just a fly on the wall down the hall of SNL SNL

S-N-L. S-N-L. Dana and Dave. They don't ever call you Dave. Some people do. You have to get in the real tight circles. And then Dylan's faster. Dylan's like. Yeah, a lot of up and back. He hits the highest note of the harmonica and just screams it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's it, yeah. Yeah.

He runs out of stuff, he hits the harmonica. Yeah, exactly. When you run out of lyrics. Have you heard Rough and Ready, his latest album, Rough and Ready, Bob Dylan? Yes. God, it's brilliant. Is it good? Soon After Midnight is a masterpiece. But he's got his new voice, which is- Well, that's what I mean. This other voice, I haven't really tried to do it, but it's pretty special. It's really raw. It's like, it's a-

Soon after midnight, and I got a date with the fairy queen. With the fairy queen. I love seeing him in concert, because sometimes he doesn't feel like performing, and he's just out there, and he's going like...

And everyone's like, oh man, this is weird. And then he's like, how does it feel? And you're like, oh, I love this song. Oh my God. That's what he was singing? He ain't seen my friend. Yeah. That's what he was singing the whole time when he was doing that? He accidentally stumbles into a hit and then he's like mad he did because he's not torturing you enough. He's bought Dylan. One of our friends just saw Dylan here in LA three nights ago and was taking bootleg clips, but I guess...

I guess it's interesting, but I think they said he did like a 45-minute song. Oh, I got a pop quiz for Jimmy and David. What is the one song from his big hip hits in the 60s where he stylizes his voice like

In a certain way. Lay, lady, lay. Yep. Now, I know you can do that. Now, let me guess now. Lay, lady, lay. It's Kermit the Frog a little bit. Yeah. Lay, lady, lay. Lay across my big breast bed. But I love that he experimented with that. He's like, this could be my voice. Yeah, I know. And then it wasn't. But it was a big hit.

And then like Neil Young. Oh, huge. Neil Young kind of had one song where he was more rocking and then he realized his high voice is where it's at because no one has that voice. Like I love people. Rocking in the free world. Yeah. Yeah.

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At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today. Did you do impressions of everyone on the staff of SNL? Not really. Who would be the big ones? Higgins? Mike Shoemaker? Marcy Klein? Might mean, could you do cast members? Could you do Spade? Hey, buddy. Beep-bop-boop.

Yeah. I'm not going to be reduced to noises today, gentlemen. So I was opening the door. I walked in. David is an actual good sound effects guy, but he doesn't lean on it. It just comes out. They're woven in. I do you, Jimmy. I don't have music. I do you. You do? I just do a sound. Just sort of...

That's pretty good. That's the best impression to me. It's when you're very, very excited. It's not very excited. It's just a sound of exuberance, which I was thinking today. Here's a compliment. You remind me of the Beatles. Oh, Jesus. Wow. The early Beatles, because what they- You told me I reminded you of Kajagoogoo.

You were kind of a shaka-kan. But anyway, we'll talk later. Because the early Beatles just projected so much fun and joy, it was just irresistible.

That's what you do. I appreciate it. It's interesting, growing up in Liverpool, we were Liverpudlians, and we'd never eat pudding. And you'd think we'd have a Liverpudding. But pudding is different in England. It's not the same. It's not the chocolate, vanilla, strawberry pudding.

The whole town was just eating pudding, you know, because it was called the Little Puddins. We were called Little Puddins. The whole town was eating pudding, you know. I had to ring up George to say, do you want to go get some pudding? I mean, some right now. John would come over and hit me over there with his guitar, like, let's go get some pudding.

And that's how we wrote Paperback Rider. John would just come in and bang me on the head with his scratch guitar. All that turned into Paperback Rider. He'd smash you with a guitar and we'd sit for a plonker. And that's how we made... John would come in, he'd hit me over the head, you know, and say, let's go get some pudding. That's how we wrote...

That's how we wrote the White's album, you know. What a funny part. He banged me, he popped me over the head with his guitar. Then we started plunking. Let's do a plunker, you know, we got into hit songs, so we didn't know what we were going to do. So I looked at George, you know, I hit George over the head with the guitar. And next thing you know, we have, you know, Sgt. Pepper. And, you know, John and Paul were the primary songwriters. Peace and Love, of course, they were the great, they were Peace and Love.

They were peace. Which one was peace and which one was love? We switched back and forth. They were my brothers. Sometimes John was love. Sometimes John was peace. And then sometimes Paul would be love. And then I'd say, hey, love. And they'd both turn around. And I'd bonk them over the head with a guitar. And that's how we wrote Octopus's Garden. You came up with another song. It was good. Once I was lost.

Spade, do you remember you made me laugh last time you were on? I was giving your intros and, uh, I was like, he's blah, blah, blah. He won an, he's an Emmy award winning, uh, uh, actor. And I go, is that, is that right? Spade? And you were right behind the curtain. You go, yeah, yeah, that's right. That's it. That's that tone. David uses. No, I do. There's a lot more going on with me. Um,

I can't be reduced to simple noises and yeah I was the most complex comedian in the planet thank you I remember we went to that one that event for Howard Stern we went to this event with Howard Stern oh I did stand up? yeah and I was like David can you do the bit the skiing bit you're like dude I don't take requests

No, I did take requests and I did do it. You did do it and you killed it. No, that was fun. That was a charity gig and that was real fun. It was scary because there was a lot of people. You crushed that night. It was unbelievable. Spade crushes, man. What was the scheme bit? Because you're like, your friends want to go on the Black Diamond trails and you don't. You're like, I don't want to. I'm afraid of that. I want to go. They say it's easier to teach you if we all go down from the top. It's just to ditch me.

So I say, no, I got the map. I want to go down the green ones. We're going to stop. We're going to start on Pop-Tart. And then they go, no, we're going down Devil's Balls. Here we go. And I go, no, no, no. That's a hard one. We're going down. Listen, I mapped it out. We're going to go down Jelly Bean into Kitten Paw. Kitten Paw.

And then Puppy Love. And then Mother Goose. It's sort of challenging but not overwhelming. Nope, Hitler's Abortion. Here we go. Two by two. Everyone line up. No, no, no. We're going down Hitler's Abortion. That one sounds hard. Yeah, that one...

Listen, it's always good to work the word abortion into your act. It's always great. It's always put a smile on everyone's face. But did you do Norm? Did you do impressions of Norm? Huh? Hey. Hey. Oh, yeah. No, Norm, we did a gig. I think I told Dana this, or maybe I told Dennis. We did a gig. Me, Dennis Miller, and Norm did a gig right before the pandemic.

And he was like, David, he's always, he reacts too much to nothing. You know what I mean? Like you go, Norm, is it a, you know, the show starts at eight, eight o'clock. And then you go, there was an earthquake in Oklahoma. He goes, when today?

I go, no, that's a big deal. There's an earthquake here. Eight o'clock? Yeah. Why would they do it at eight? I go, because it's the most obvious time in the world. I'm not ready. Worst time. Yeah. That's like the worst time for people to do a stand up, you know, eight o'clock. Yeah.

Yeah, you do. Because, you know, my neck's all fucked up because of the flight there, and I go, fuck. And then Dennis goes, Spudley, why don't you go last? Like, it's a big favor. I go, and follow you two assholes? You guys kill. I think Dennis was technically the headliner. For Christ's sakes, I got the jet waiting on the tarmac. I'll do a cute 20, okay? Holdy and I are going into Chicago. Jimmy's problem.

He came... Dennis came on the show. He killed, by the way. He was so funny. I'll tell you the bit he did that made me laugh. But he was backstage. He was backstage and was going to say hi to Dennis Miller. And I put...

I never wear cologne, but I put a little cologne on before I went to see him. Not that much. I did a little mist of like, and then I dove under it. And walked through it. Yeah, I dolphined. Dove under it. I dove under it. Dolphined under it. Yeah, gyratin movement. Just barely on, so I go, maybe he doesn't. And I walked in. I go, of course, Dennis Evolp. He goes, gosh, should we foul and smell him like Paco Rabanne over here?

Jimmy. Did you get the reference? Paco Rabanne. It just sounds funny. What is that from? Is it a perfume from the 50s or something? It's from the 80s, yeah. Jeez, I feel like Vinnie Nicknock of the Detroit Lions in 19... Vinnie Nicknock. Yeah, the onside... I always had a joke that he never did, but he's like, it's so quiet, it's like the soundtrack to a Chuck Chaplin film. My...

Chuck Chapp. Chuckie Chapp. That's a real joke or a fake one you made up? No, no, no. It's a fake one that he never does. That sounds very close. Does anyone ever call you Jim? Christ's sake, it's going on Jim Fallon tonight. Yeah, Jim. Jim, I love the interesting story. I'm working on a new bit, okay? That's exuberant, Dennis. It's a James Bond film, okay? It's called Bitcoin Finger.

Okay. Bitcoin finger. He loves only risk. He loves risk. That was his joke he did on the show Baby Laugh. Oh, real? Is that true? Oh, my God. Bitcoin finger. He loves only risk is what he was singing. I love him, man. Oh, man. Oh, he's the funniest. We do him all the time. But he starts laughing in the middle of his bed and he starts talking to you. Christ, cha-cha.

Oh, I just do him just to soothe myself. Give me a topic, anything. I'll filter it through Dennis of anything. Just ice cream, mint chocolate chip. Mint chocolate chip. Okay, that's front loaded, isn't it? All right. Can I have some mint or do I have the chocolate? They're competing with one another. All right. Last thing I need is a confusing scoop of ice cream. All right.

How many chips do I fucking need? I'll give Jimmy a topic. All right, Jimmy. Give me one. The grocery store. All right. Okay. Why do we have to go to the... Why does produce have its own section? The produce section, okay? There's not like a cereal section. Cereal section's like, we don't get a section.

We don't get a set. The produce gets its own section. Yeah. What am I, Glico? Yeah. I'll have Glico the bag boy. Hey, Glico the bag boy. Why in Christ's sakes we got to have 600 different kinds of cereal, okay? 50 wasn't enough, all right? You need 29 fruit loops variations. I want to pay an extra $2 for the organic apple. Don't.

Don't really see the difference. Hey, do I want to round up for Ukraine? Where's that fucking cash going? Come on. Let's be honest. Jesus Christ. Fine air Qantas. Okay. Who's up front? A koala bear? Okay. Okay. Yeah, good. 29 hours to Melbourne. Paul Hogan in first class going, that's not a knife. This is a knife. Just eat your freaking sandwich. Paul.

I actually did. I submitted a thing at SNL that didn't get on, and it was Alligator McGee. It was a takeoff on Crocodile Dundee or Alligator something. And everything was bigger. He goes, that's not a refrigerator. They said refrigerator, and it's like 20 times bigger. It's everything.

That's not a lamp. That's a lamp. That's not a lamp. I did a bit once on the show with Schwarzenegger where we were doing QVC hosts and I wanted to talk about this new slicer or something like that and he wanted to talk about the chopper. We had like a veggie chopper and he's like, so he can go like, get to the chopper. Ha ha.

And I was like, no, we got to still talk about, you know, we have this new iron. It steams your clothes. Wild irons. Like, get to the chopper. And it totally tanked. It didn't really work. Get to the chopper. The old guy.

He came on the show once and I go, you smoke cigars, right? He's like, yeah, I love the cigar. So I go, how do you smoke a cigar? Because I don't really know much about them. But don't you like, you have to like, don't you lick it?

And then you cut it and lick it to the last one. You don't lick the cigar. You don't like me licking the cigar. Listen to this guy with the licking. You don't like me licking the cigar. He is so positive. There is no problem in life with Arnold. That's why I love him. I actually, with one of my brothers, I always say, what would Arnold do?

You know, like if something's late, like the cab's late, that's all right. We walk a couple blocks. We look around. We see a better cab. And we actually get a faster ride to our destination. You know, I love his positivity. We go up the mountain. Probably we can make a zip line out of the vines and just zip line down to the place. Yeah.

That's right. We forgot our skis, so we get the wood from the forest. We chop and we make wooden skis. We strap them together with the pantyhose or whatever we have and we go down the mountain. We take the spanks off and inflate our spanks to make a hot air balloon so that we can fly to the destination. We get there much faster and better for the environment. And we give rides for children. The children go and we make lots of money.

In all these things. Oh, where's he going? He took a break. Jimmy, can you remember the catchphrase we had when I hosted in like 1999? I know what it is. This is why I knew Jimmy and I had the same sense of humor because that was a running gag of me being cocky, you know, Hans. So the whole idea was...

And the show was doing fine, but all week long, I would just say, in reference to the current SNL, so long, golden era. Goodbye. Farewell, Emmy nominations. Goodbye. Hit show. So long, memorable characters. Goodbye, Emmy nominations.

Arrivederci! Arrivederci! Key body awards!

No, what was the one you did this kind of redneck character last time you were on with Mike Myers? Red Redneckie. Red Redneckie, the redneck comedian. I actually have a couple in case you asked for that. That's my favorite thing. I'm Red Redneck, the redneck comedian. I said, Daddy, what's for dinner? He said, shit on a shingle. I said, this day just keeps getting better and better. Come on, get some. Come on, get some.

Come again, son. Come again, son. I went to the doctor. He said, we got to amputate your left foot. I said, can I keep my right foot? He said, sure. I said, come again, son. That's it? He's positive. That's not even a joke. My mama said, what do you want to do with your life? I said, I don't know. Live in a shack and drink beer all day. Mama said, don't ever dream too big, Red, because you always end up disappointed. Come again, son. Come again, son. It's all about the come again, son. Yeah, you got to get to it.

Don't make the joke too long because everyone's waiting for Come and Get Some. It's like sometimes they're not jokes. Yeah. Sometimes they're not really jokes. The first one was kind of a joke. I met my sister only because mama turned me down. Come and get some. There you go. We're back. Okay, I'll give you one Carson. One Carson because you like that one too. Yeah, I love it. Johnny Carson getting pulled over for drunk driving 1972. Oh, sorry, officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had two strawberry boom booms at the Hickory Hut. Ha ha ha.

That's it. Sorry, didn't I was swerving. I had two mandolinies. No, no. I had two. At mandolinies. Yeah, at mandolinies. That's two somethings at somebody's, right? Strawberry boom boom, tomato. I had two rhubarb. I had a silly goose up with a twist. I had a purple nurple. I had a silly goose over at Matt. I had two silly gooses at mandolinies.

Kate Mandolini's. Remember Kate Mandolini's? Oh, yeah. Chris Rock took me there years ago and paid for my meal and I had no money. Jimmy!

Jimmy, do Chris Rock. You do him. What are you going to get to order? Are you going to eat or are you going to just stand there? What are you going to... Why would you even give me a menu? Just eat. Just give me what people eat. What? Something like that? I like when he goes... I used to bust him for repeating everything. He goes, Obama. And then everyone laughs. Then he goes...

President Obama. They laugh again. He goes, Barack. Oh, I go, let's go. What is it? Your act is only 20 minutes is what you said. Yeah, exactly. Barack Obama. Obama, the president. Yeah. The president. Black guys won't eat the pussy. Black guy will not eat your pussy.

Oh, the white guy will. Oh, the white guy, he will. That's not even a doc. They just made that up. Oh, God. We're getting blue now. How about Sandler? Everyone does Sandler. No, you do it. Did you audition with Sandler? Let me do my... Every time Adam is mentioned on this podcast, I just go... So I just did it. So he'll be hearing this.

But you have the best Sandler. You did him on SNL. I did him on my audition because I loved it because his impressions are like three impressions in one, three levels. He used to do that. That guy, you know, I was talking to my mother the other day and my mom would always say, and then he goes the second verse, she would always say, why don't you take the laundry down? And my dad would say, shut up!

Oh my God, that is so fucking great. That is, oh. The casual Sandler old stand-up voice is good. Yes, old Sandler. That is a brilliant observation. I remember I was buzzing into my grandma's apartment and I'm pressing the buzzer and she's like, who is this? Who is there? And I said, it's Adam, your grandson. Who, Charles Manson?

Oh, yeah. Charles Manson? Oh, I don't want you to come in. I don't want Charles Manson. I don't want you to come in.

I didn't want you on that show. I didn't want you on that show. Oh, yeah. I had a Vicks. Oh, my God. That's great. I love that. I was sick. My mom was rubbing that Vicks cold stuff on my chest, and then our eyes connected, and I go, hey, mom, we're just friends, right? That's a good bit. Oh, my goodness. That's his bit, but I can't get his voice. You're doing the voice, right? How do you do Smigel? Smigel's close to Sandler.

hmm smigel interesting because he he's like uh jimmy jimmy he's very he's kind of like salmon very low key yeah very low key let me hear i was thinking i well i was you want to you want to try that that's good right he says laughing yeah little whispering hey oh here's my smigel jimmy when i'm pitching him when i was at snl and i'd pit go in his little

three foot wide office where they're writing killer sketches and I'd knock and go hey do you want to help me with this and he goes what is it and he has a nervous laugh because he doesn't want to do my sketch so I go it's about a guy who does this and he goes I don't think I don't think I could do that I don't think I like that one

In the nicest way, laughing at you. He's so nice, but he's kind of laughing nervously, like, how do I tell him? And he would just look off into space and start laughing. You ever seen him do that, where he's in the room and he's just staring at the wall or something and laughing, looking up. I love making him laugh, though. Because when you do make him laugh, I made him laugh once. He never put it in a sketch, but it was like, how does Dracula... What if Dracula was a comedy writer and he was like...

Judging the laughs. So he's like, muaha, muaha. And then you tell another joke. He goes, muaha. Muaha. Yeah, blah, blah, muaha. I like the other one where you do the muaha.

And they go, how about this joke? He goes, moi, ha. That's moi, ha. It's like judging that. But I was at once, we did it. He does those charity things. They're really great. Night of Too Many Stars for autism. And I did a bit with Tina Fey. We were in Radio City or someplace. And they had an orchestra pit in the front. And he came out. And we had a laptop with him. And he's got his glasses on. I go, what?

"What are you doing? What's up? What are you doing Smigel?" And he goes, "Oh, I'm changing all the fucks to shits because we're airing on Comedy Central so we can't say dirty words. So I'm changing all the fucks to shits." I go, "Oh, cool." Or whatever. So I'm doing our bit with me and Tina and I see Smigel backing up and he's typing in this thing and he backs up

And he falls into the orchestra. No. He falls like six feet down. I go, holy crap. I run over. I go, Smigel, are you okay, dude? What's up? Are you all right? He looked like a Jerry Lewis would look like if he fell. It was like an outline. Like a chalk outline. A chalk outline of a body. His glasses were broken and the laptop was in three pieces. And I ran down. I go, dude, oh my God, are you okay, buddy? And he goes, without missing a beat, he goes, uh.

Change all the fucks to shits. Oh my God, that's too funny. By the way, what a dumb note. Like, no one's offended by shit. Like, that was his last words, you know? Wow, that was, I'm going to laugh about that even more later. That's going to go through my head today. It's so funny, man. That's so robbery. He is so fucking obsessed. This year, Dell Technologies' back-to-school event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

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That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. I went to a concert with Lorne. We went to go see Sting and Paul Simon. And it was an amazing concert. So they're playing together, Paul Simon and Sting. And Paul Simon is probably in his 70s, I think. And so he just looks like Paul Simon in his 70s. And Sting is next to him, and he's just jacked.

- Yeah, he is. - He's got muscles. - Fit. - And he's got like a t-shirt pulled down like a John Varvatos, kind of wrinkled. - He's a badass. - And he's playing bass and he's just got veins coming out of his muscles. - Yeah, he is fit. - And so I came in, I went and got two beers and a couple hot dogs and I gave it to Loren and I go, "How old is Sting?" And Loren's like, "He's probably 63 or something." I go, "I don't think I ever wanna be in that good of shape when I'm 63."

And without missing a beat, Lauren goes, I don't think you have any problem. No, you go, oh, wait, what's he saying? I'm sorry. He goes, I don't think that'll be a problem. So I'm trying to say, I go, I don't ever want to be that. I don't want to be that in that kind of shape when I'm 62. It's not something you have to worry about. Yeah, I don't think you have to worry about that.

Do you have other Lorne-isms? Because I've done some on this podcast, but he is a philosopher. And I don't know sometimes if they're original because they're so brilliant or he gets them from elsewhere. Do you remember you would do, Dana, you did Guess Which Paul? Oh. He's like, well, I'm having dinner the other night with Paul. Guess Which Paul?

uh that would be paul mccartney wrong paul provenza uh what's the you know that joke how do you get to lauren's house what's the directions to lauren lauren's house i don't know uh you go out to main street and then you go right right right right right that's funny all right jimmy do you feel like you're lauren's best friend do i feel like i'm lauren's best friend

Out of all the SNL people. You've worked longer with him if you had SNL and then the too late show. And now, so you've worked closely with him.

As long as any, but 25 years or something. Yeah, I would say he definitely is my best friend. But I mean, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have gotten Late Night. NBC didn't really want me. They wanted someone else. That's crazy. I remember when you consulted me. When I heard you were available and they were thinking, that's so fucking perfect. I was like, if you felt like doing it.

because of your range is so huge. - I was leaving SNL and then Conan had signed something where he was gonna get The Tonight Show in like six years or something.

Five years, yeah. Something like that. Which was such a fucked up thing. I never heard of that happening. They wanted to keep Jay but not lose Conan. That was the compromise. Yeah. So I remember I was leaving SNL and Lauren goes, well, do you ever want to maybe host a show? You know, you could take over Conan in five years. And I go, I don't know if I would do that. I mean, I think I'm going to be, you know, big Hollywood star. She's like, but I'm like, I'm going to go do movies or everything. And Tina Fey was in the office. She was like, I think you'd be great at that.

you're like Irish and you like to go to bars and talk to people and talk to everyone. That'd be right up your alley. - That's all it takes. - Yeah, that's all it takes you. - And all the stuff that you got to do on the talk shows that weren't totally SNL friendly. They were just different long dance numbers and we'll go over those in a minute. - But it was like, so then I go and I try movies, they didn't work.

- And-- - Same, same. - And then-- - I'll tell you something that Sandler had said to me, 'cause I had Clean Slate and Trapped in Paradise, and I know you had too as well, and I had things I was developing with Smigel and other people, but Sandler at one point said to me, sidles up, you could do it better, he goes, "Carvey, they don't--" They meaning the people making movies that aren't us.

they don't really know how to do it. They don't really know how to make it, where to put the camera to be funny. Wow. I never forgot that. Yeah, because you said something once I found fascinating. The idea of you get to the set at 5.30 a.m.

And you do the thing and the blocking and the master shot. By four, 10 hours later, you've said the line 150 times, 200 times. And now you're going to say it for the movie. It's not even English. It doesn't even sound like it. I go, dude, I peaked at like 10 in the morning. You want me to be funny now? I'm so exhausted. I'm like, I can't be funny. And like, then it's, movies just weren't my thing at all. But then, so then Lorne, I go, he goes five years later and he goes, uh,

Remember I asked you that thing? I go, yeah. I go, well, let me ask my wife because now I'm married. So, I go, okay. So, I asked Nancy. She's like, you got to do it. You got to do it. I mean, look at the list. I mean, Letterman, Conan, and you. That's a great list. You have to do it even if it doesn't work. So, she was like, I'll move to New York and

So I said, yeah, I want to do it. And then NBC was like, yeah, we're not sure. We want to be in the Jimmy Fallon business. Really? What the fuck? After all your SNL stuff and your talk show appearances? When did you host the Video Music Awards? Because I thought you did a great job. I go, oh, this is a whole new thing. Like, you were perfect for that. Yeah, that was... And you were playing your guitar. 2004 or something like that, or 2002 or something like that. One of those... Was that during SNL or right after? That was during SNL. Oh, no. That was right after SNL. That's when I was leaving to...

to do movies and stuff. Cause that was like a good all around. You were a smash right away, right? Yeah. With when you got on that late night show, I mean, pretty much right. Well, it worked. Yeah. It kind of, yeah. Smash was a strong word, Dana. Yeah. Smash is a strong word. Yeah.

I'll say stuff that I say about Jim, Jimmy, when he's not around. There's never been anyone with your range and you're so versatile talent-wise. I'm going back to Steve Allen. And then also your likability is a 12. Yeah.

And then your interview skills where you make it all about the person. You know, you're just like Carson. So I thought you were like made out of a factory. And then tall and handsome. I was like, and he can play guitar and he does Dylan and he can do Neil Young better than Neil Young.

And you two could make it tonight. And they think the roots in Jimmy are better than you two. It goes on and on. So, yeah, I felt you were made out of some kind of German factory. We shall make the greatest talk show host in six foot two check.

Voices, check. Likeability, check. Let them go. Release it. Dancing. I heard from somebody, a little birdie told me, that when you and Justin Timberlake are out there doing all your choreography with the choreographer, that you get it in one take. This woman does like 10 steps.

And you're like, you can do that too. So that's my mic drop on complimenting Jimmy Fallon. I'll take the mic drop from Danny Carver. And Jimmy's willing to travel to Coney Island for bits.

That's right. Because when they do, like I always tell them when I come to New York, I go, so you do the show, which is already like a beating, just a long day and you have to be very present and focused and we're going to do this, we got to rehearse this bit. And then sometimes after the show, you travel somewhere and pre-tape something. Yeah. It's like J-Lo wants to go on the jungle gym and we got to go to, you know, Long Island for this bit. And then you got to do bumper cars with Chris Hemsworth. You got to do it. But at 30,

30 years in, Letterman stopped doing that, right? When you get to hit 30, you know, Christ sakes, into that fourth decade, I think it's a hard out at 530, all right? I mean, that's, how are you pacing yourself, I think is the question, right, David? Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I think, you know, there's something about this that's fun, that's different than SNL is because it's every day. So, you know, SNL, if you did a sketch and it was, and it tanked, you had a week. You had to wait.

And you're like, oh, that was awful. So embarrassing. This one, if I do a bit that tanks, I have another show the next day and I go, oh, I'll recover tomorrow. Well, you also have full say like at SNL's read through, then you're crossing your fingers and you get on like a fifth of what you hand in. If you're there, you like something it's in, you don't like something it's out.

that's kind of good. At least you go with your strength. You go, I think I can make this one work. We got great writers. We're in a good groove right now. We got some great writers here and good producers. It's like, oh, it's super fun. It's like, you know, when it's really fun, it's like kind of camp.

almost like summer camp. Everyone's together and I got a bit and I got a bit and I got a thing. And it's like, that's exciting for me. And so every day I come in and you go, Oh, that that's such a dumb idea, but I love it. Let's do it. Cause it'll make me laugh. Right. And when you go on the show, Dana knows for the audience, you're, you're very helpful. So, you know, you're, it's a fun atmosphere. You get backstage, you come back,

bullshit a second and then you go out there and if I'm stumbling through a bit, you're jumping in, helping and making sure everything works. So all that stuff helps because you want everyone to look good and the show keeps going, but the show keeps going still, still, still. So I guess it's just up to you to figure out one day if it's just too much. Jimmy is the only, and I've loved all my hosts, Letterman, everybody, Conan, all of them. Jimmy is the only one who I literally could go out

and throw anything at him like i said any accent any bit he would just start laughing and just go right at it so that's that is singularly unique and the next time i'm in new york which i gotta come out soon because i just want to hang out with you i'm going to surprise you with something don't tell me what it is and don't tell me what you're doing i'm not going to tell you because

and i might decide when i'm behind the curtain when you're introducing me but i did that to jerry lewis on the show and i did that to him and he didn't really roll with it it was he was weird he was like wait you want to do this now i'm like i'm like let's have the roots play jazz and you do the jazz bit where like you're oh you open your mouth and you point at that thing oh my god that's brilliant i go let's just play with it see if it's fun and he goes

And he goes, yeah. He goes, you know, it's so weird getting older. I haven't been in the city in so long. Actually, when he came out, he started doing like old Jerry Lewis voice. So he was like, first time I was, you know, and he started. Wow. It's really, really interesting. I was like, cool. And then he goes, but I'm older now and I'm in. So I'm taking the subway and I'm on the subway and.

Uh, and he goes, um, and I see this kid with dyed hair. He has a, uh, spikes, right? He has a red, a green, a blue hair and these piercings everywhere. Uh, and he's just, and I'm just looking at him and this kid goes, uh,

What are you looking at? You got a problem? I go, oh, wow. I go, what'd you say to him? He goes, I said, no, just 20 years ago, I had sex with a parrot. I think you might be my son. He was like setting me up for a joke the whole time. Wow. That's kind of funny, though. I felt bad for him. I thought he was getting picked on on the subway, and then he was just setting up this joke. It was plain.

It was dark. It crushed. It crushed. It was so funny. He's like, no, I just had sex with a parrot 20 years ago. I think you might be my son. That's a good weird bit though. And I actually like it's out of left field. I had dinner accidentally with the ingenue in Cinderfella. We're going back to Jerry Lewis in the mid 60s where he is writing, directing, producing his movies. Yeah. And...

It was, and then, so I did watch some of it where he does this long dance on the soundstage and it really is avant-garde. It's, it's, it's,

No wonder the French love him. I appreciated it so much more. I watched it like six months ago. I was like, damn. So that is kind of brilliant. Was that Cinderfella, the one where he's getting in the argument? He's the boss and he has a cigar and he's yelling to the jazz? Yeah. It's the best thing. It's unbelievable. And it might have been called self-indulgent then, but now it's like it just keeps going and going and going. It's

It's brilliant. Really, really brilliant. I swear I thought Sandler was talking about doing a remake of Cinderfell in the old, old days. It sounds kind of up his alley. He can say that's true or not. But I remember, why did I hear that? I think he really just thought Jerry Lewis was funny. Spade, are you working on a new, are you doing a new Netflix movie? You know, that's a great question, Jimmy. I'm glad that when I just texted you that, you got it. Yeah.

Because you know what? The Wrong Missy was unbelievably funny. It was fantastic. I loved it. You know, thank you, Jim. And everyone I recommend, everyone I'm like, dude, you want to laugh, watch The Wrong Missy. You won't even believe how funny. And everyone's like, it's the funniest movie ever. The Wrong Missy we stumbled upon. And I'm finally, there was a rumor at the beginning you were going to ask us questions, but I'm glad it's finally happening.

The wrong Missy. There's a rumor. There's a rumor when you were like, I want to ask you guys stuff. I'm like, oh good. Hey man, that movie did 200 billion minutes or however they keep track. I mean, it was insane. It's like a billion. We did a billion by now. Three billion seconds. And they call and they go, it's the number one movie in the world. And you're like, I can't believe it. They're like, um, we can't believe it.

That's pretty funny. And then like for a week straight, they're like, number one in the world, number one in the world. And I'm like... Who was the actress that played Missy? Lauren Lapkus. And she's great. Holy moly, she was funny. Yeah, Jim Carrey-esque level. Yes, yes. Like just enough, just enough to be so funny and not annoying. It was like brilliantly done. She should have won an Oscar. She should have won a funny... Honestly, you know, Jimmy, I was thinking that because...

When Tiffany Haddish was up for an Oscar for Road Trip, was it? I was thinking, oh, it is actually possible. Yeah. Lauren could have been up for that because, I mean, it's R-rated and stuff, but she was so good and so out of the blue. Never seen anything like it. I was so impressed. And the movie did so well that I was like, it wouldn't surprise me. It would have surprised me because that stuff doesn't happen, and it did not. Who directed that? What team was that? That was Tyler Spindell. That was...

from Happy Madison. Yeah, I know him. Adam's nephew. Yeah, he's good. He's doing a new one with Pierce Brosnan right now, but I would do another Wrong Missy. I'm actually meeting someone today about a movie with Lauren because Lauren- Yeah, do a sequel, Wrong or Missy. Well, we're like Bogie and McCall at this point, I feel. Which one's Bogie? I don't know. I don't know who those people are. Um-

That was like an old Laurel and Hardy bit. They used to go like, no, me and the boss are just like this. And he crossed their fingers. And he goes, which one's you? And he'd point. Well, this one's like. Just get out of there. Yeah, he crossed it. Which finger is the boss? Yeah, get out of here. By the way, enough about me, but I did like that. Thank you, Jimmy. No, no problem. Also, when you guys were talking about Neil Young, I had a confession that you said people have different levels of their voice. When I was listening to

Guns N' Roses, who a lot of you people know. It's a new band. The number one song. The number one song. Number one with a butt. Guns N' Roses. What did he do that old song? Guns N' Roses. Guns N' Roses. Mama Take This Badge. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I thought it was two people singing. Oh, Guns N' Roses with Welcome to the Jungle. Because he goes low and then he goes higher. You two fucking fools. Listen to my story. All right, go ahead, Dave. Checking in on Revive the Boss. Bruce Springsteen, a man and his guitar. A man who likes to call his guitar his own.

And here he is. He writes, Dear Casey, Dear Casey, can I ever play guitar like Bruce Springsteen? And the answer is yes. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars. Dear Casey, I'm a bit of a fuck up. Is there any chance for me in show business? Of course there is. He writes, Dear Casey, I'm a complete dick to most people I meet.

How can I be a nicer person? Dear Casey, I read Playboy just for the articles.

Dear Casey, this may be off subject, but I whack off 35 times a day. Dear Casey, I put a Fitbit on my left hand and I get no steps. I put Fitbit on my right hand, I get 500 million. What am I doing with my right hand? Dear Casey, my socks tend to droop. How can I hold them up and keep them from drooping? Writes Ben Swiller from Tallahassee, Florida. I put my girlfriend's scrunchie around my dick and balls. Is there an easy way to get off?

I don't care. What are you doing? I don't care. What are you doing to me? What is this, a corporate gig? Hey, this guy. Over here, this guy. Over there. Over here. No. Get over here. Get out of here. We got enough of the blue. Get over here first and then get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Get over here. Hey, get over here. Get out of here. All right, David, finish your story. Now I feel bad. Nobody gives a fat fuck about my stupid story about Axl Rose, who's a... You thought it was two people.

Thank you, Jimmy. You tracked that story. But that was the one where he goes, Mama, take this badge from me. Mama, take this badge from me. And he goes, well, give me welcome to the jungle. You got to be able to do it. Knockin' on heaven's door. Mama, take this badge from me. No, he goes, knockin' on heaven's door. And I thought that was a different person. Yeah. Oh, you did. So you'd fucking follow the story. You're so, you're Arizonian. I hate your guts. You Arizona guys. Who are you talking to, me or Dana?

No, I like you, Jimmy. You seem cool. We're supposed to have dinner tonight. You know what, Dana? We're going to have a celebrity hangout. Ooh. Oh, yeah, we are going to go to dinner. Me and Dana, we're cheating on you, Jimmy. Oh, is flying the wall being a hit just changing you guys? Do you act different now? We're cockier. Yes. You are? And you go to hot spots now? LA hot spots? We go to hot spots. C and B scene. I'm a man about town. Ooh.

Making a move in my 60s. Here I come. He's too old. He can't. No one can do what he's doing. Check his Wikipedia. You're getting famous about talking about a show that made you famous. I'm like. He didn't fade. He's as sharp as ever. Almost 80. I listen to you and Smart List. They're my favorite podcast. Oh, yeah. Oh, what about Clueless? That's David's new podcast. Sorry.

I like to go back to the scrunchie around the balls. That was a real question. All right, I won't interrupt that. My wife loves this podcast. Oh, she doesn't like it to go too blue. She doesn't mind people say, fuck, motherfucker, shit, but, you know, deep downtown, gynecological type stuff and balls and dick. Maybe it's not a favorite. Downtown, uptown, round down, round down. I'm doing George Carlin. Oh, yeah. Later, George Carlin. George, drop the G and you'll have orange. What?

Why are there no blue fruits?

There's no blue fruits. Shoes. Everyone needs shoes. Upload. Uptown download. Jumbo shrimp. Big shoes. Little shoes. Brown shoes. Yellow shoes. Girl shoes. Boy shoes. Everyone needs shoes. Garage sale. They're not selling the garage. Honey, we're selling the garage. The king of lists. He had an incredible mind. He memorized the list and he would just, yeah. Blueberry yogurt. Strawberry yogurt. Vanilla yogurt. Like, okay.

At the end, it was like that. It was like, there's no blue food. And you go, what about blueberries? And he goes, okay, there's one.

I waited on George Carlin at the Holiday Inn in 1976. Tell Jimmy. I brought him a bowl. And we liked it. I loved it. No. I waited on George Carlin in 1956. And he was doing hippy dippy weatherman. He's a hippy dippy weatherman. He's not a normal weatherman. He's a hippy do weatherman. Tomorrow's forecast, hot.

tonight's forecast dark tomorrow's very far out man far out man he's the greatest greatest guy ever man what about a guy who talks like this what's your latest most of my impressions are that just go i was pat o'brien i did everybody like that i did a yeah o'brien's great dj everything was this voice i would do a welcome back you're listening to z105 everybody and

We're here with the great David Spade. David, we're just talking back. I wanted to talk about your movie. We'll be right back on the Z. And then you go to commercial and you go, David, thanks for being here, man. We're going to talk about your movie. It was so funny on Netflix. All right, here we go. We're coming right back.

And we're back here Z105 I'm here with David Spade Hey David I did not like your movie That was terrible And you go wait you just told me before That's basically how you do Regis Philbin You gotta go there if you're gonna do Regis Honest to God is there anyone better than Jimmy Fallon He's very nasal I've stolen your Regis Philbin I do your Regis Philbin When I do it and I do Dana Yelling like Regis Philbin That's it you got it

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I got one, Jimmy. Yeah, go. I got to go in a little bit. But Jimmy... We have a hard hour. No, Jimmy, when you go on these radio shows, like they go, Dana...

Like you're doing a gig in that town and they go, you got, you got to call into the zoo. Oh yeah. Yeah. Tommy. So they go like this. Hey David, we got 30 seconds. Okay. We're going to put you on hold and we pick up. It's going to be Jim Bobo, zip, zip, a talking zebra, a Bitcoin, a robot and a cockatoo. Okay. You'll know who everyone is. Okay. Here we go. Three, two, one. And you go, wait, what am I, what's going on?

I was a DJ. See if you guys think this is funny. It's not. But I was a DJ in college, and I would go, I go, it's 313 in the city, 211 on the Dane Rock. It was always a different time than the real time. Yeah.

It's four o'clock in the city, 3 p.m. on the Dane Rock. I don't know what. Makes no sense. That was my moniker. I know. It's not bad. And it didn't stick. I like it. It didn't stick. Because you're on your own planet. You're on your own thing when you're listening to Dane Rock.

Dane Rock, I know. I know. I like it. It's 3 p.m. in Sacramento, but it's 1230. 2-11 in the Jimmy Rock. On the Jimmy Rock. I used to get just Tommy and the Bull. It's Tommy and the Bull. You know, you wake up at 6 a.m. playing some shitbox club in Mississippi. Tommy and the Bull. Yeah, the Grease Man. Remember the Grease Man? Oh, I remember Grease. The Grease. What about Lycus? Dear, never pay for a woman's lunch. All right.

All right. Jimmy, I'll ask you one last question. David, you have one last question? Does he get one last one? Okay, you got one. I was going to summarize this whole appearance. Danny usually gets one last question, then you summarize. Go ahead, Dana. What was it like on Saturday Night Live? You know when you're leaving? That's the worst question. Do you ever listen to Howard Stern always ends his interviews the best where he's like, all right, well, we've done it all. We've said it all.

No Jimmy I love Howard You've done it all David David You've done it all You've done it all So we've said it all You've done it all It's great And you said it all You know you're getting Pushed out the door You're pushing out the door They're like That's the end of the interview I like his laugh When he goes Oh yeah

I can't even do it. I used to do an impression of him, and now it's just lost. That was pretty good. Can I do my Trump not saying anything for you? Yeah. Okay, we'll end on that. There's no subject. Frankly, let me tell you, you're going to be seeing a lot of it that I could tell you. I mean, when you look at it, and it didn't work out so great for some of those people.

You're seeing it all over the place. Many people are saying, we don't want that. We're not people who do that, okay? So when you look at it, what they're doing, look at all of it, people are very disappointed because it's a terrible deal, a really bad deal. We're going to be doing something very soon, and you're going to be seeing a lot of it. You're going to be happy like you wouldn't believe.

He literally has no subject matter. He's not talking about anything. Oh, it's so good. That could fit into anything. That's his genius. Wait, do you have one? Come on. Do you have one question? Sorry, Dana. What?

How was it? What was it like on Saturday Night Live? All right. So, David, do you want to sum it up? No, I would say, what are you happiest about when people stop you at an airport or on the street and they mention a specific thing throughout your long career? Which is the one that kind of you go, oh, you know that one? You like that one, huh? Yeah. You may not have that at the tip of your brain. Oh, well, like Cowbell is the sketch everyone asks about. Oh.

Oh, yeah. That one, which, by the way... Let's not sleep on Cowbell. One of the best of all time. That was not... I almost didn't make it to air. That was not supposed to make it to air. It was in the... It was in the... What do you call that space? The death one, the before good nights. Yes, it's in the death one. It was in the death space. With Christopher Walken? Yep. Oh, wow. With Christopher Walken and Will Ferrell. And it was at... It aired probably right...

at the end of the show like probably 10 to 1. Oh, 5 to 1. Yeah. It was 5 to 1. It was a weird sketch and everyone was on fire, dude. Everyone was being super funny and it was like my third or fourth show on the show and I remember that's where I got the reputation for laughing and breaking in the scene because it was just everyone was

Will Ferrell was so funny and Catan and Horatio and then Walken was doing like an impression of Walken. He wasn't even doing it himself. He was, you know, we got to walk. You know, he was like... I got a hankering for more cowbell. And the room started shaking. Do you know when the room, when SNL is like shaking? It's hooked. Yeah. I mean... I was there that night. You were? I did a guest spot or something and I remember it...

I call it levitated the room. Like went to another level. What sketch of yours crushed the hardest that levitated the room? Head Moon Harry? I was doing, yeah. Head Moon Harry with the dog is up there. I was there for that. I was doing Church Lady with Joe Montana.

And Walter Payton, a lot of sexual innuendo. I wasn't my proudest moment, but this old guy came up to me afterwards. You know, I've been in charge of sound. I've been looking at the meters for decades, and I ain't never seen him peak like that. Wow. And I said, come on, guys. What was your crusher? Buh-bye? Too many to mention. No, buh-bye. And you are? Buh-bye.

was probably the one that we only did once or twice that that had the most lasting effect and then uh oh one of the best moments is when farley grabs you by the neck and goes lay off me i'm starving oh yeah the gap girls yeah when he goes lay off me i'm starving no wait it starts monday wait how do we all do impressions and david you did not do michael j foxx

Oh, we do that a lot of shows. Yeah, casually. Sorry, you were introducing. No, it's because, David. It's because it's sad I only do one. No, it's not. People are waiting for it. It's the end of the podcast. Hey, Sarge. Hey, Sarge. Yeah. And Casualties of War, Michael Fox. Michael J. Fox. Hey, listen. You got to give me a minute on this here, Sarge. She's just a farm girl. She did nothing wrong. You should do a cameo as Michael J. Fox.

Like, you know, those things where you can do... It's $9. Yeah, and you charge a buck. Everybody gives you a doll. Say, Sarge. You guys should do... Oh, none of us are on SNL. We'll do celebrity cameos you should do on your show.

do all impressions and everyone does their cameo. Yeah. You know, it's funny. Hey, I heard it's your birthday, Sarge. It's your birthday, Sarge. You're going to have a good time. I can't do it without saying Sarge to someone. I need Sarge. You got to have Sarge in there. He's talking to Sean Penn in the scene.

Because Sean Penn attacked a farm girl. I heard you're getting your kidney removed, Sarge. And I just wanted to wish you the best. The key to getting an Oscar is always look like the sun is in your eyes. Yeah, man. Sarge. Oh, yeah, that is good. That's part of it. Don't give away all the tricks. All right, Jimmy, I know you got the show tonight. We appreciate it. Yeah, enjoy the show tonight. I love...

Thank you so much for inviting me to do the show. We loved having you. You guys are two of my favorite comedians ever on the planet, and I just love both you guys so much, and congrats on the show, and I hope I didn't bore you guys too much. No way. It was such a blast. I told David last night on Our Walkie Talkie, I go, Jimmy's just going to be fun, and you were. Yeah.

It was just a blast. It was just a blast. I love it. We didn't get to all the questions. We're supposed to ask a lot of rude questions. Didn't get to them. It was just a surprise scare, man. Hey, go to the Gap. Go to the Gap. Surprise some of the cable-coded sweaters. Okay, bye. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye, boys.

Hey, what's up, flies? What's up, fleas? What's up, people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions, ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com. Yeah, you read it. Okay. This is from Linda Brandt.

Hi David and Dana That's nice Hi Linda If you could go back And be on any season of SNL Other than your own Which cast would you most Want to work with And what do you think You could add to the mix Thanks for the podcast I look forward to it Almost every week Sometimes I'm busy That's too much information So anyway What do you think Who would you go back to

Or forward to I have a big coat on right now By the way if we ever sell merch Dana We'll sell just a black t-shirt That's your merch It's called Be Simple in Black It's called Be Cool You're cool Chicks like this If you have a pair of Levi's And a black t-shirt And you're kind of fit Like most of our crew is here The ladies go crazy It's all about the relationship Between the shoulder and the hip

If I had to go back in time and do an SNL cast, I think I would probably want to be on that first year just because it was such an explosion of just blew up the whole country and no one saw it coming. I don't think I could add a lot to it. I'm not a super character guy. I just, I would just like to be there because it was so cool and it was such a big fucking deal. Dana? Thank you, David. I think that

When I think about people I'd like to play with, I couldn't really pick a cast or a season, but I'd love to have been in Coneheads with Dan Aykroyd or loved to have done something with Bill Murray.

I got to do stuff with Phil Hartman and Mike Myers and Adam Thobalthu and all those people. Whenever you make a list, later on, you're up at night. What's wrong, honey? I forgot to mention. I love to be in a killer sketch with Will Ferrell. I did do one where Will is 6'4", 230, and I played his dad, Bush Sr. He was Bush Jr., and he had to sit on my lap.

I'm 5'8", 150 on a good day. So that was, but the surgery was successful. It was a hip, but no, we did do that and that was awesome. I do also, well, I like everybody. I think the current cast is best. I hate a grumpy old man and my day was better. Yeah.

I say the current cast, I would love to go in there with Chris Redd and Heidi Gardner. And, you know, obviously that's all I can do. I'm sorry. I can't answer the question because it's a fool's game. Yeah, you know, it takes people a long time to know the cast. So by the time you know them well is about the time when they leave. So the cast is usually more famous after the show. When we were there, not many people knew us. And then you leave and they go, oh, that was such a great time. Meanwhile, everyone said we sucked. Yeah.

So when we were there, and that usually happens, they go, this cast sucks. I wish I'd stayed a few more as long. I could have gone toe to toe with you since we should have done some kind of like, hey, I'm Fricky, I'm Fracky. You know, it's a little talk show characters. Fricky and Fracky could have possibly gone a read through and crushed it. But thank you for asking and keep the questions coming and we'll keep the answers long.

Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, rate, and review all episodes. I'm not joking. I'm not suggesting. You do it. You have homework. Don't leave until you take care of this. Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.