Nick Kroll
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Hi, David. Oh, hey, Dana.

What do you want to talk about? I want to talk about Nick Kroll. Nick Kroll? God, is he funny. One of the good dudes out there. And, you know, this is one of the first ones. He was not on SNL, but he did audition. And we're trying to get more into comics that are influenced and grew up on SNL. Believe me, anyone who auditions for that show and doesn't get it,

There's a story there. Oh, they have something to talk about. There's a story there. Let's give them something to talk about. Yeah. Let's give them something to talk about. Nick Kroll was, first of all, he does Big Mouth. That's a huge show. He's got his hands in so many things, it's hard to talk about how many he's done. But he's in Don't Worry Darling.

The most talked about movie of the summer. Don't worry, darling. That's the one. Oh, he is. Okay. So he's everywhere. He's on Broadway with John Mulaney. Yeah. He's, uh, I did a show with him at, uh, the Logo and he interviewed me. Oh yeah. And he's so likable and funny and, uh,

I don't know. I'm just a fan. I like when I go, oh yeah? Well, yeah. I don't want to gush. No, that's- But I do think SNL might have missed the boat, but I wasn't there. I wasn't a fly on the wall watching Nick Kroll do his magic. But, you know, he's very funny. You know, sometimes they must kick themselves because they do let a couple of winners go. And he's definitely great. He wrote for Chappelle's show. Yeah.

I saw a story about Don't Worry Darling and it was on Yahoo Sports. I'm like, I think everyone's covering this. All right, Nick Kroll. Nick Kroll. Nick Kroll.

Hotels got expensive. The thing about Nick Kroll, which I really like, but some people don't. Oh, hey! What? Look, I get it. Nobody pops up like a Nick Kroll. Well, I feel like I was a fly on the wall of your conversation. What are we talking? State taxes? I'm going to Arizona for the Super Bowl because I'm from there.

And I feel like it would be a real boost to the state in general if I went. And they'd be so excited. Oh, you'd drop money there. I'm one of the biggest stars in Arizona. It goes, Hugh Downs.

He's great. He's funny. Yeah, of course. Charles Barkley played on the Suns there. He played for the Suns, but he's not... Does he live there? He's got a residence there. San Francisco's got to clean up that stinky town. That's a stinky town. They got to clean that up. It's terrible. That town stinks. They got to clean up San Francisco. Yeah, he's great. Didn't he get...

Did he get pulled over in Phoenix? Is that where he got pulled over? Do you know that story? What happened? Did he say he's Elvis in this town? No, I heard a story that he got pulled over in Phoenix.

in i want to say in arizona speeding and they asked him what happened he said he was going to get a blow job the worst part was he was heading to my house now i was with him bobby mcgee's what do you say danny i don't want to go blue on this podcast supposed to be friendly and family friendly not anymore not with crawl i got i was with charles and we went to bobby mcgee's which is an old like

to go on Sundays where it's like, you know, a couple of toe tapper songs playing a little Billy Ocean. And then we were going about a thousand miles an hour on the way home. And I go, are you going to get pulled over? He goes, fuck,

Fuck that. I'm Elvis in this town. They're not going to do shit to me. And I was like, I don't know. And they didn't. And they didn't pull him over. And nobody cared. Everyone loves him. Is this when you guys were still working on your twins reboot? I would do it in a second with him. This movie was terrible. Now, they go, you want to do the LIV tour, you know, the golf tour? And he goes, yeah, throw money at me. I love it. He just...

He voluntarily gets in trouble just because he'll go, yeah, I'll do anything for a lot of money. And everyone's like, what? Oh, he was great about the live golf thing and all. They were after him and goes, have I got that kind of money? I'd stab my relatives. I'd stab a relative. That was it.

Does it frustrate you guys when someone like that, who's that physically talented as an athlete is also genuinely funny? Yes, bugs the shit out of me. Nobody should get a twofer. Nobody should get a twofer. I mean, we happen to be, we're essentially narcissists, David and I. So we're not really skilled at this, but we're having a lot of fun doing it.

You can ask us questions too. Yeah, too. But anyway, you look fit. You look like you're... Nick looks cool. And I thought, I took off my hat because Nick's hair looks cool. And I'm like, fuck that. Look at this hair, dude. I just got to do it. I'm working on it. Well, can I ask a follow-up? Do you mind if I follow up with you guys about something? This is a conversation. We don't have to interview. Were you guys both there for the Nancy Kerrigan episode? Oh, yeah. I mean, watching it.

Yeah, watching it. Yeah. I think the best performance of any SNL, I think, in my mind, that was probably the best performance of any person to come on the show. Right. And Nancy Kerrigan. And did Farley play her? Really out of left field. No, I will say one of the best sketches was Farley skating with her.

Oh, right. Was that in that? That was that episode, right? I mean, yeah. Yes. We had a lot of hype for that episode. She was a huge deal and we got a huge rating and the show was not that good. And that even as like, I was like, you know, I was, uh, uh,

That was like at my prime, like I was obsessed with comedy, just like getting super into it. And I remember that episode being so excited. And one of the first times being like, that was not a good episode. Even as a kid? You were like 13. Yeah, I was 13. I was like, this is not a strong one. Not a strong one. Oh, man. Everyone only remembers the best stuff. No one ever remembers how...

Many a night. By the time we got to update, like the whole first act sucked. And luckily we had Dennis Miller, you know, the cleanup king. You know, Christ sakes, you know. Good car. Have you got a couple giggles with the lady? Okay. Always had this mouthwash spray. Yeah, he had binaca. Was he a binaca boy? Well, yeah, he always had a spray thing. He was always, at least...

On the surface, very relaxed. We'd be drenched in sweat with glue and wigs, and we're a Friday night late. He goes, the cat and I, his wife was a nickname. We're going to go watch The King and I down at the Orpheum Center. He was in a nice suit. No, there's only one Dennis. He is one of my favorite voices to do. My IQ does, or my vocabulary increases when I do Dennis.

It is. Well, I feel like I still remember when I think of my, like many impressions, it's your impression of them. It's Topo Gigio. That's what I think of. Topo Gigio. Topo Gigio. Topo Gigio. Yeah, that's great. That is a perfect N-word if anyone listening wants to learn Dennis Miller. Christ sakes, you see Eddie Saul the other night? The Topo Gigio cat.

It's actually some mouse, okay? I need a marsupial talking to a man with a hunchback, all right? He would say, what am I, Glico? And I go...

After 15 years, I go, what's Glico? Who's Glico? But it just sounds funny. It's got a K in it. I don't know. What is it? Did he know? No, I didn't dig enough. But I do know that he says- I don't remember him saying Glico. Spudly. Spudly. Yeah. He goes, sometimes in my- Because I opened for his black and white special. He had two specials. Rob Schneider opened for one. I opened for one because he was my favorite comic. Rob Schneider. Yeah.

Hey, let me get in there, Spade. And fucking hog the first one. So I go on the road with Dennis and just watch him crush every night. And then he goes, I go, here's the five words I didn't know from this set.

And then he goes, "Meh, that one means nothing. Sometimes I throw one in just to throw off the fucking, you know, the detectives in the crowd that are trying to fucking one up me and tell their wife they know everything I say. I like to throw them a fucking curve ball now and then."

So he says one that even he doesn't even know. He just makes it up. And then they stare at their wife. And the wife's like, what's that one? He's like, I don't know. Well, I love when he does like a football player from 1954. I haven't seen movement like that since Nick Lutnik from the Detroit Lions. John Brockington. Linebacker. Had three seasons before he blew out an MCL. Okay, Carfing. Yeah. Nick, by the way, that Nancy Kerrigan show. Sorry, our guest today is Nick Kroll. No.

No, it's okay. This is all it is anyway. Yeah. But this is all it ever was. I like this Nancy Kerrigan question because it wasn't even a question, but just the fact that it is hard. We did that with Dice Clay. We had a huge hype and it just wasn't fucking clicking.

And that's when everyone watches that don't normally watch. Right. And when you're on the show, you're like, we got it. And so you feel this pressure like, oh, we're going to get new eyeballs. And then the episode is a sinker. So you're watching SNL like at that early 90s then is when it first emerged for you. And you're 12, 13, 14, whatever. I mean, I'm watching it before then, really. But I'm, yes. But I am like at prime time.

Like in 91, I'm 13 years old. So I'm like just aching for it. Like one and obsessed, truly obsessed. And yeah,

And, you know, again, you know, when you're it's I think it's that age really locks in because you're you're 13. You don't have shit to do on a Saturday night. Like, that's it. That's the plan. Or at least I didn't. Oh, no. Yeah, that's it. I mean, things affect you so much harder as a young adolescent than in any other time in your life.

It, it, it, it, it, so it was deep for me. And that Nancy Kerrigan thing was such a, I mean, it's so funny that you bring up dice. Cause it's like, as if they're both athletes, but it was more like comedian, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, Dice made sense. Does he come in like, let me tell you guys how this is going to go? Oh. Well, he was kind of sweet. I mean, Nora Dunn chose to boycott that show, as you probably remember. So there was a huge controversy there.

I found him kind of sweet. He says, hey, thanks for being nice to me, to me and love it. So I said, I'll just go the opposite, find out who he is. But he was pretty funny. I go, what do you get for a night? You know, stand up. You get a million dollars. And he always said, what am I going to do with a million dollars? As a way to say, I'm getting more, you know. What do you get for two nights? You get two million. Who gets a million dollars for one night of stand up? What am I going to do? He was one of the first...

Buy a- Arena comedians for a while. You know? Well, what he's going to do is buy a lot of weightlifting gloves. Yeah. He translates that into gloves. I saw him once at the West Side Comedy Store. Anyway, the comedy store they had at Westwood. So he comes up and he's in the whole thing. I'd never seen him. And then he does the cigarette thing around his head. He's like for three minutes, he doesn't say a word.

He was so charismatic. He does the thing and then he goes, I'm going to get you. I got to get you. And then Kennison followed him. Well, and he, but also I feel like with Dice, the other thing was that he, it was like he could have gone two ways because he also did like a Jerry Lewis. Like there was two versions of Dice, right? The Gemini that we all know him to be, the two-sided man. Yeah. That he could have gone like, you know, Fonzie or...

Or Jerry Lewis. Yeah. He chose Fonzie, I think probably closer to his heart. And then his woman voice was really funny. Oh, yes. Oh, dice. Here's one of my favorite jokes. I'm sure Nick does it. He goes, hey, he goes, this chick blowing me and going crazy.

Up and down, knobbing my gob. And in the middle of it, I go, come on. And she goes, what's the hurry? They're all the meekest, saddest women. What's the hurry, Dice? They're so delicate. He goes, what's the hurry, Dice? You got a bus to catch? I go, no.

You do! I thought my favorite line of his was, we'll probably have to cut from the podcast. Very rude joke. A lot of these rich guys come out gay later in life, you know? Hey, I got a mansion, I got a yacht, I got all this stuff. What don't I got? Oh, I know. Boom!

Balls across the nose. It was so specific. I like when he goes, I dream of Jeannie. Nick, I just have to do one more. Let our guest speak. I'm happily happy to be here. I saw him at a gig and I go, you're out of your fucking mind. Why am I trying to construct jokes? He goes, you ever seen I Dream of Jeannie? And I'm in the audience nodding my head, uh-huh. And he goes, she's in the kitchen with her big tits and she's like,

Hey, master, is there anything I can do for you? And he goes, oh, no, genie, it's okay. You can go back in your body. If she was my genie, it would be a little different. Hey, master, is there anything I can do for you? You know what, genie? There is. You can make your tongue eight feet long and lick my dick from the kitchen. I got...

Our producer is laughing. My first performing, actually, some of my first performing I remember is weirdly doing dice for my, we were on a family trip. You know when you're on a family trip and there's like a van, like the tour guide has a microphone, you know, the big, everybody's in a tour bus and there's a

so the, the, the tour guide was gone. It was just me and my, my family. And I took the microphone and just started doing dice for my siblings. You know, I'm like 12, 11 years old. And I'm like, little boy blue. He needed the money, you know, like the nursery rhymes were, yeah, those were killed. Those are the, those are the basis of the foundation. It's really like him, him,

And the jerky boys were like very, very the first version of like viral that I like because we were passing around those jerky boys. Yes. Tranks phone calls for people. Oh, my God. Yeah. Frank Rizzo. Open your fucking ears. You know, he goes like Zuvlaki. Like, I just.

My wife, she's got. Did you ever do prank phone calls with all your voices? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We used to call me and Andrew Goldberg, who I create a big mouth with when we were that age. He was my we would do. I mean, Dana, we used to we used to host talent shows as as Wayne and Garth. Oh, yes. Which were you? Probably. Yes. Probably. I was the I was in that moment.

The alpha of that. Yeah. Not that you weren't the alpha, not that Garth wasn't quietly the alpha. No, no, I was the guy next to the guy, which is a good place to be. Yeah, it was a great place. Looking back, I'm like, oh, Garth was, that's the spot. That's the sweet spot. But we were doing, we were, and we were just doing Wayne and Garth, but at like the talent show at my middle school. But we would also call WFAN, the Sports Radio New York,

and record them on a cassette tape and do them for each you know and we would call up and you know be like you know i i want to i think uh patrick ewing should be playing point guard you know and they you start sort of slow and they'd be like oh okay you know because he can see over the top and meanwhile little did we know that we were foreseeing what was going to happen with the nba and then we would get to remember andrew andrew going one time he's like anthony mason

You know, that's a very attractive man. I'd love to give him a bath in Jell-O. And they and they at that point is when they would cut us off as far as you can. Yeah, we get to the edge and they but we used to call all the time, all the time. Did you guys prank call radio stations at all? Was that a thing? Recently, Adam Ray, I was on his podcast. He asked me to call a local radio.

Chinese restaurant as Paul McCartney ordering. And it was just completely straight, you know. And they didn't know it was, you know, I was doing like this, you know, we'd like some egg rolls if you got it, you know.

Some fried rice, you know, that sort of thing because we enjoy it so much. But they didn't have any idea. It was something I tried. They just go, okay. It could really be Paul McCartney. They don't care though. They don't care. Okay. They did though. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. So Nancy Kerrigan. But what happened was. So Nick Kroll. Nick Kroll. No, let me tell you, Dana. On Nancy Kerrigan's show, one of the funniest things is Farley's the skater and I was excited because I was Scott Hamilton.

And so we were... Pre-casting. It was a good bit because...

But Phil was maybe Vern Lundquist and Phil, who's the master, and I got to sit right next to him. And we were doing our analysis. So Nancy Kerrigan's great. She literally has to do nothing in this sketch but skate well. And that was perfect because we're like, you're so funny in this. But she really didn't. She was great, but she didn't do anything. And Farley was surprisingly a good skater. Yes. So he's got a funny outfit. It's already funny. They start, we're like, oh, it's going really well. They're racking up the points, you know.

And then he falls and he gets really pissed off and we go, ooh, that's going to hurt him. And then they play pump up the jam. We're like, pump up the jam. They will burn. Oh, this is a perfect triaxial. And then he starts wiping out so many times and then he picks her up and throws her and it's a dummy and she flies. So fucking funny. It was a great sketch. Oh, it was great. That one was great. And the rest of them were sort of crumbling around her, but-

It's not her fault. Athlete guests are tough. No. But you can't... When you're with Farley in a sketch and he's doing physical comedy, you just support the brilliance of Chris. Well, it's also like something like skating, which is not something that everybody can do. It really is. But I'm like, oh, right. He's like a Midwestern boy. He probably grew up playing hockey. And so it's like he...

You know, I remember that. I remember him flinging that. I remember flinging that dummy. Every so while, there's the good... You guys were gone by the time. Like Peyton Manning, I was always like surprised that I was like, oh, he's very... He could really carry a joke. And move funny for such a big guy. You know, he was dancing and I think it was...

I was on this show, The League. It was a show about fantasy football. Bobby Bottle Service. Oh, God. And we had all the athletes on. They all came through that show. Oh, that's right. All the football players. And it was, I remember J.J. Watt. And I was like this. And you're like, some of them were whatever, a little bad.

But then some of them you watch J.J. Watt. He came in at the beginning of the week. He did. He did one day. We were at the Beverly Hills Hotel. And then it was the week of the ESPYs. And he shot like two commercials and an ESPYs bit and then came back at the end of the week for his last day.

And by Friday he was a markedly better actor. And you're like, these guys, some, you know, these guys are so smart. They, they, they can learn that quick. You know what I mean? Like a guy like that over a week, like learns how to act. And you're like, Oh, that's why you're one of the reasons beyond being a physical, like, like you're physically, you say took a regular person and 25% of them up, like to scale. Um,

I was like, this is why you're so good. You learn. They can also get coached by a director. And then they get knowledge and implement it. And so it's like on the field. And if the director says, do it like this, they go through their computer head and go, got it. And then some can really adapt. And they compete. They compete with each other. After the fact, people will...

or athletes will go, my SNL was better than yours. Or, you know, I did better than you. The one guy who peaked on air was Wayne Gretzky, who was seemed very shy, very Canadian. And, uh,

He's the one we were doing a hockey sketch. I'd never been on skates in my life. And he's so Canadian nice. He got down on his knees and was lacing up my skates. And then he showed me, Wayne Gretzky showed me how to hold the hockey stick. Holy shit. It was just ridiculous. But these athletes, there's a charisma to them. I do remember that Elvis sketch from- Yes. Was that Wayne Gretzky?

Wayne Gretzky Elvis sketch from that one, right? What was it? It was like a... He was singing. There was some... Was he on the beach? It was like a Hawaii Elvis thing, right? And he just hit it on air where all of a sudden he's super charismatic and confident. Just peaked on air. I mean, it makes sense also. You're like, oh, right. The greatest fucking goal scorer of all time is going to like...

show up on the day. Yeah. It just instinctually. And Joe, all I had, go ahead. Oh yeah, you had Montana. Well, Montana wouldn't come out of his dressing room for a while because he didn't think he did well on the show.

So it's like, could you go back and just say hello to Joe? I mean, that's how hard, and he did absolutely fine. And I caught a pass from Joe Montana in drag as a church lay. It was a thrill. But he wouldn't come out. He just felt bad, you know? So they're so driven. So driven. We had, I only had Michael Jordan, I think. How was he?

Very interesting. Charismatic. The most... Besides Mel Gibson in his prime, where the women on the show went crazy, Michael Jordan was the...

The person. I mean, the was it was a charisma or just legend? Like, was he charismatic or was it just like you understood that you were around this like phenom of both? Both. Yeah, I think he also understood it and he understood it. Yes. You know, he seems like he would have been sort of boundaried.

Like not, not warm, but I, but I have no, it was fun to break through that because, you know, there were so many people wanted his autograph and there were lines and there were issues, but his, you know, I sat next to him and read through and being around hands like that, you know, like a triple hand, uh,

And, and he was always so competitive. He said to me very seriously, he's towering over me and he's Michael Jordan. He's a bad-ass. And he goes, do you golf? And I go, well, a little bit, you know, what do you shoot? I go, well, I'd be lucky to break a hundred long pause, staring at me, steely eyes. You're not very good. Are you? It was kind of scary, but, but on the day of the show, I'll leave you with this. Uh,

And live, we're behind the slats. And I could tell he's a little, I'd say for him, a little nervous maybe. And I said, if you get in trouble, just look at the card and read it off the card. That's no problem. Just read it off the card.

don't pretend, just go right at the card. So you see people. And he did. And he did, but he had a great show. He has a, these guys have a lot of charisma, you know, and you put them in a show and you can't take your eyes off them. Sure. I mean, he, but also I do think he, he seems like a, yeah, I could see him being, I thought he was going to turn to you during the read through and be like, I'm going to get more laughs than you this week. I don't know. When Carvey did well during that first sketch and then it got personal.

I feel like that was every line in the last dance. It was like, well, yeah. All I remember is him looking at that laptop and laughing. Like they'd show him a scene and he goes, fuck. You know what I mean? They'd play something for him. This guy said this about you. And he goes, yeah, okay. You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Oh, yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which no time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older.

I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took a grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is Ola and hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, uh,

They have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curveball. I think they're going to know. What don't they have? The language you want. Yeah. And immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying?

I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Designed for long-term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

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You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today.

So, Nick, can we just for a second, because this is what I when I was watching all your stuff and we did our thing at the Largo. Yes, we did. And you interviewed me and stuff. And I noticed how versatile and explosive you were. Like when you committed, it was like, bam, like you were gone. And then this intense character whooshing and your resume is so stout. It seems in a sense that you were made to be on Saturday Night Live.

But there's a catch spot where maybe you got too big to be on it early or something? Did you audition for it officially a few times? I did. Yeah, I mean, I think, I don't know. You guys have probably had, I mean, I think like everybody, it's like if you are a comedian,

And, you know, any time and like who was born any time from like 1970 on, at some point, you're like, I wanted to be on Saturday Night Live as you know. So, yes, I had wanted it.

And I, you know, did improv in college, moved to New York, started doing stand up and improv and then started doing characters like kind of like live presentational character work on stage, not directly being like, I'm going to try to be on SNL. But it was like I think that was the sweet spot for me. And then I had I was on a show called.

called Cavemen, the hit show Cavemen. Oh, yes. The Geico Cavemen commercial. It's a famous show at this point. Very famous show. Almost seven episodes aired.

I heard it was seven months of makeup and then one hour taping. Honestly, I mean, you guys have both been through the prosthetics. It's like it was four hours every morning. And we were in every scene. So it was four hours every morning for four months straight. Motherfucker. 13 episodes.

working 90 hour weeks or whatever it was. And I have intensely sensitive skin. And I think it traumatized my skin basically forever. So when it ended, it was right at the writer's strike in 2007. Thank you, Jesus. Yes, truly. It was we got preempted for the Charlie Brown Christmas special. And I knew we were in trouble because the next week or the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special the week after was

We were preempted for the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. Can you refresh my memory about it for a second? Just performance wise. Yeah, I know that part. I got cast. I was not in the commercials. I got cast on the show. I just had gone out to L.A. for my first pilot season. And I got cast on the show. I was sort of the acerbic.

you know, lefty cavemen. - Cha-cha. Did you go in and read for them? Like a classic situation? - Oh yeah, yeah, I was, yeah, I just auditioned. - What voice did you use? How did you? - Just me, it was like sort of, I was the sort of, it's this sort of the, I've gotten a lot of my gigs, it was sort of the deadpan like, oh really? You know, like, oh really? Like, you know, people like, you know, the problem,

Everybody talks about like cavemen being these like, you know, Cro-Magnon. But in reality, I have a higher IQ than everyone I went to fucking Stanford with or whatever that, you know, that sort of sarcastic mean dry. So that goes away. Thank God.

Nick, in every episode, you guys try to get insurance. Well, it was so funny because we go for our first, you know, the TCA's, the big television critics. Oh, no. They're coaching all of us. We're at the Beverly Wilshire. They're coaching all of us to be like, everybody get ready.

They're going to come after us that it's a Geico TV show. We are. You can be very clear. We're not sponsored by Geico. Right. You know, we own the rights to it. Like it's its own thing. We're all prepared being coached for it. We get up on stage and they're immediately all the critics are like,

why did you make such a racist show? And we're like, what? We thought we were making, they were making this allegory that it was, you know, cavemen were standing for all minorities, you know, that like we've gotten discriminated against where this under the critics did not see it. And so we just got blindsided as like, your show is racist. And this is,

I got to say, we were ahead of the game of being called racist for a TV show. That's an early racist show. 2008? 2007? This is 2007. We're talking early. This is pre-

So, so it wasn't even racism yet, was there? No, there wasn't. It was kind of racist as a show. I mean, a little bit. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I was involved. So clearly there was going to be racism in it. So we, that goes away. Then now I'm sort of a free agent again. And I started booking stuff. Like I wasn't, I was like, oh, I'm going to, I felt like I was going to work, you know? Then I got a call. Me and Mulaney got a call the same day.

from Seth Meyers. I had met Seth in New York. He'd seen me do some character stuff and, and Mulaney had also done some stuff. Seth had seen him around and, and they, he wanted to invite us to audition. We were at that moment pitching a movie with Tracy Morgan that maybe one day we'll make, it was Mulaney. And I had this idea for him, you know, those Nigerian email scams, the Nigerian Prince email scams. This is the one time that it's real.

So it's Tracy Morgan as Lil Mo, the deposed dictator from Lyrobia. That's funny. A kind of a baby doc Duvalier. Labia. Kind of a ne'er-do-well. And kids, they get this email, most glorious friend, I have $20 million, that must be. And then they, all of a sudden, there's $20 million in the bank account. And Tracy Morgan shows up at their college being like, where's my money?

Ted Sarandos, if you're listening. Yeah. By the way, you two writing a movie, everyone should just say yes. I don't have to hear the pitch. By the way, so we pitch it with Tracy. I don't know if you know. We know Tracy. You know, Tracy with his little hands. He's got those little hands resting on his belly. He's taking a nap, taking a little rest at Three Arts.

You know, in the middle of the pitch, in between pitches, and we go, Tracy, what's going on? He goes, I will not lead a life of quiet solitude.

And we pitched him the movie, by the way, the first time we went to his apartment in New York, the one that burned down because a fish tank lit on fire. And we go to the shark farted or the rats of Nim. Is that what it's called? Playing quietly in the corner. One of his movies taped a poster taped up of it.

and he's taking us around to all of these are all predators you know he's got his he's got like his shark tank and his eel tank and we pitch the movie and we get a call that day

being like, do you guys want to audition for SNL? And we were both obviously not together, but we, you know, we, we were of course excited. And so then we spent like, you know, a few days working on our audition in LA and then flew to New York. And, and I went to audition, uh, uh, you know, I, I go in, it was during the Olympics. So we weren't on the SNL stages. We were, we were at the Conan stage, I guess, upstairs, I think. Um, and,

And I, and it was the same year. It was me. Mulaney, Bobby Moynihan is the one who got it that year. Uh, Jordan Peele. Unfortunately, obviously that was the end of his career. That's too bad. Uh, so talented in a wall. Yeah. Ellie, Ellie Kemper, a bunch of other, uh,

a bunch of other very talented now successful folks. All should have gone right on. How did you, how did that work? It was like, did you get a number? Like you're up first, second, third. Yeah. It was one of the, you get in the room. There's like, there was a, it was a bigger number. I don't know. There was probably 20,

20 of us or something. And how many people in the audience in the bleachers? Well, so I get... So you get called in in groups of four and then the rest of you are all waiting. So we get called in groups of four. I get called in somewhere in the middle and I go... I'm waiting backstage. There's a grip. One of the union guys is backstage. He goes, you're going to do John Lovitz? And I go...

and and i go i'm gonna do lyle lovitz the the the love child of john lovitz and lyle lovitz and he looks at me goes save it for the stage and i'm like jesus what the fuck i'm getting roasted before i get out there who is it was that bill hater in a costume or something trying to sabotage you so then i get so then i they call me out i get out there and it's just lauren

Shut up. And I'm like, literally just Lauren? It's just Lauren. And he goes, they're outside. I'm not going to do Lauren with you guys. Go ahead. I do it badly, but I do it all day. Okay. So he's like, they're all outside. And I'm like, what? I'm doing more. I'm leaning into the Canadian version of Lauren. That's all right. I'm not going to do that. So I go, they're outside? He goes, yeah, they're outside. I was like, are they out there talking about how great I am?

And he's like, what? And I'm like, no. And then the stage manager comes over. He goes, I'm sorry. They're on a bathroom break. I shouldn't have pulled you out. So then I have to go back. This fucking stage manager. They fucking iced me. And I've just like...

my first, you know, I'm trying to, my instinct when I get nervous is to be falsely, falsely confident. You know, they're out there talking about how great, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, no, I got that. Which is a funny thing to say. Yeah. Yeah, I think, you know, in that moment, he wasn't a rude, but he also was like, you know, you guys would know him better than me. I don't know what he's thinking, but he's not thinking like,

you know what? I'm going to give this kid the last. That's so weird. Nick, that you go out. Shoemaker has diarrhea. I'll be like Howard Stern. So you go out and half the people had left to go to the bathroom and you just see Lauren. And then he goes, they're all outside, not explaining anything else. So you, you go, uh,

Are they talking about how great I am? And then what happened? And then they send me back. Back. They send me back. Into the wings. After the wings to wait for another few minutes for everybody to file back in. And then I come back out and I do my audition. And my audition was good. Not great. Like I know, I know in my heart, like as, as much as I was a character guy, like,

I just, you know, I don't know. It just wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't fire. Well, it's the roughest audience. You're getting no feedback because I did one. How was your Lovett's? I didn't do Lovett's. Lauren would have liked that. But that's hard to land that when that, because it's an oil painting, right? Maybe a couple little giggles. What was your biggest bit at that time? Your biggest surefire character go-to? I was doing, I don't know if I had Bobby Bottle service yet.

I was doing my character that I was doing a lot that I would probably not do now anymore was a character named Fabrice Fabrice. He was the craft services coordinator for that. So Raven and he was sort of like, you know, if it was like a sort of like

definitely a character I would not start doing now, which was a like a queer Latino, you know, like those kids in New York, you know, like I'd see on the subway who were just like tough as nails, young, like queer kids of color who were just I was like, nobody is sharper or

or funnier or meaner than these kids. You know what I mean? Those like if you saw them walking down the street, they're like, oh, no, they're going to make fun of my hair. They're going to make fun of me and they're going to. And I he was my like filterless character. I could say anything about anyone. It was my closest to being David Spade.

that I could. Yeah. Um, but I had to hide behind this character. So I did that. I had a few other characters. I was doing some version of Gil Faison from that me and Melanie were doing with, Oh, hello, you know, my upper West side, middle-aged, you know, or septuagenarian. Um,

I was doing Holiday Connick Jr. It was Harry Connick Jr. just doing holiday songs. I don't even remember. A few other ones. I was fine. I like them. I'm a Connick guy. I was like, there's no way I could have told Lauren if I was just like, the audition's going to be fine, but just put me on the show. Just put me on the show. It'll be fine. So...

But I, at that point, was really a performer. John auditioned and got cast as a writer, but had made it clear I would write. I was not putting myself out there to write. But I knew it was going to be okay. I was like, I know I'm going to... I think I felt at that point secure that I was going to have a career. But it was...

It was, you know, it was the lifelong dream was to be on SNL. It still is. I mean, I had my own sketch show on Comedy Central. And there was a part of me that if it was like, if they had, if Lauren and came to me being like, leave the sketch show, come be on Saturday Night Live as like a featured player, I would have, I would have done it. You know what I mean? It was that it's, it holds that power and mystique for me still. And I, I,

And then John got hired. And so then I started, you know, and then I had other friends getting hired around then. And I started to become friends. I shot a movie with Forte and Sudeikis the next year called A Good Old Fashioned Orgy. And then, you know, through that and, you know, Jesse Klein, you know, who Spade, you know, Jesse had gotten hired to be on your show on Comedy Central. The Showbiz Show, yeah. The Showbiz Show. That's great. Yeah.

And she got hired there. So my audition was... It was...

It's one of those things. It's just like, you know, I mean, I'm sure you guys have talked to everybody who's, I don't know. Does everybody have had dreams of being on the show? It's whimsical. And there's a lot of inputs into that moment. How was Lauren feeling? Did someone say something sarcastic? What's the mood? What's the vibe? And what did they need, you know? And what did they need at the time? You know, they had at that, yeah. Maybe at that point they had, they had Armisen, Seth,

Hater, Sandberg, Sudeikis. I mean, let alone Forte. So were they trying to add another male cast member or looking for a word? They needed. I mean, they hired Bobby Moynihan, frankly, as Bobby would say. They needed a big guy. They needed a big boy. And every version of me was there. So I was not like I knew.

And maybe, I don't know if you guys like manifest or don't like, I, I'm pretty like, I don't think like that. I'm not like today. I'm going to be a cast on Saturday night live. You know what I mean? It just was like, I was like, oh, they don't need me right now. You know, um, maybe. Well, that's like a gut thing. It might just be true. They just, you realize they've got, like you said, if they have every version of what you do, they're like,

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Yeah, because it's such a nice ring. It's an unmarked thing, but then it says Blue Nile somewhere. Yeah. She goes, oh, you couldn't have. You wouldn't have spent that much. Oh, this has got to be a trick. This is too nice. Yeah, no. Right now, get 30% off. Select Lab Grown Diamonds on BlueNile.com. Plus, use code FLY, very important, to get $50 off your engagement ring purchase of $500 or more. What is it?

That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. I have a question, two questions. Yes. One is, do you get a time limit? Does everyone say you can do whatever you want in six minutes? Yes. I remember it being, I want to say it was five minutes. And I think we were pretty orthodox about that time limit. Well, because if there's 20, that would be... I've only been to this comedy clubs. I think we went to see Louis C.K.,

And we rolled in and we rolled in a little late. And the worst part is everyone's like at dinner. And then the opposite side of the people coming in behind Lauren to watch you, they're just like, "Hey, let's go to Huxley's later." "Oh, we're gonna watch a couple of these guys." It's literally nothing to them almost. You know what I mean? It's so, and then they roll in just half thinking half like, "Oh yeah, these are auditions." And your whole month is studying for this. That's scary. - Truly. - And when you don't get, I'm sorry, go ahead Nick. - No, go ahead please.

When you don't get something like that, is there any weirdness that you have to have? Does Seth call you or do you say, does he say sorry? Or I, I don't, I remember getting a call, I think from my agents and finding out that I didn't get it. And that, and then I think that John was getting hired as a writer and he,

you know, with all of your comedy buddies, especially John, who I've, you know, I've known since college, we did improv together in college. He was a freshman when I was a senior and I always knew he was the funniest person from then on. And I was so happy for him, but you know, you couldn't help but feel some tinge of jealousy or envy. And as I did for his whole run on SNL, like I couldn't be happier, more proud of him. And simultaneously, like,

feeling like he had been invited into the club that I was not. And that even though I have always felt incredibly welcomed by, uh,

literally everyone there, like including Lauren has always been very nice to me. It's like, I've always felt like not uncomfortable in that space. You know what I mean? I never felt that, you know, I think there are people who are like, oh, I didn't get it. And then I never felt like I was welcome. Like I just always knew everyone there. And I felt like it just happened that I was not one of the people that got it, you know? Well, I auditioned with Jim Carrey and he didn't get it.

And he went out there and levitated the room and put his foot behind his thing and all these impressions. And Phil and I were backstage going, well, okay, Jim's on it, you know? So for whatever reason, and then the great thing is, is you have so much stuff out there. I mean, your resume is huge. No, it ultimately, and I went and did the league and then I had my own sketch show. The league is famous now. I mean, it's like, I don't know. Yeah, and my sketch show was my thing that was different than,

you know, what was different than anything I would have done at SNL. And, and, and I, and I'm very proud of, and, but also it's just that, you know, it's also changed over time. I think when you, especially when you guys were on it, there were only so many venues that you had to, like, if you weren't on SNL, there's nothing, there's nothing like to, to make you pop through unless you became like the biggest standup or whatever. Um,

you know by the time i was by the time i was around i was coming of age and all that it was like you could have a sketch on comedy central you could get on the daily show you could you could you could even start to be on internet videos that started to like you know donald glover gets on like a sketch that blows up and all of a sudden on you know on not even on youtube that and then all of a sudden you there there all of a sudden it didn't feel like oh no if you don't get snl that's that you

You know, you're going to toil. No. And for people who are listening, they're just getting acquainted with Nick Kroll. Check out The Kroll Show and The League. And you've done all this animation and just touching on this briefly, but Big Mouth is a smash, let's face it. Yeah. Which is about- It's bigger than the show Smash. It's bigger than the show Smash. Ted Sarandos will not stop talking about it when we have dinner with him.

When we first started with Big Mouth, you know Nick Kroll? You know he's a friend of mine. I have his number. Do you want to see it? But that, you've done so many, and stand-up specials. So I guess for a second, you have a new one coming out. This is kind of interesting. Yes.

It's my first special. I did a special for Comedy Central. It was kind of a backdoor pilot for Kroll Show called Thank You Very Cool in like 2012. It was a mix of stand-up and characters. It was a hybrid special at the time, which functioned as a sort of Comedy Central being like, oh, okay, I got a sketch show out of it. But it's my first special in 10 or more years. It's called Little Big Boy.

for Netflix. And how did you warm up for it then? What did you tour? Did you just go to the Largo every night or what? I mean, I, you know, I had been doing standup kind of as I, I wouldn't call it a hobby. I always had 20 minutes. You know what I mean? Like, you know, you're like, you're not touring, but you always have 20 minutes.

Yeah, like I could always go to Largo and do someone's show or, you know, oddball. There was a big that big tour oddball. And I do the oddball tour. I did it one year with it was me. It was a year was me. Aziz Schumer. Melanie did. Jizzle. Jizzle. Nick was a bunch of. Excuse me. Was that fun? That sound like kind of a fun. It was fun. It's a good show because I was not in like talk about arenas. It was all those outdoor sheds. It was like those 12.

12,000, 15,000 seaters. Well, I mean, you could have done arenas. It's so funny. It'd probably be easier. Sometimes outdoors are tough when I do. It was. Yeah. And we were all, you know, and they were flying us on all of us on a plane together. It was super. It was fun. And I that was still at a time when that I had that was new, new to me. And and I was with my contemporaries. Those are all the people like, you know, Amy and Aziz and Malini and I and Jess, like we were all, you know, we were all

doing not maybe not open mics together. I mean, some of them I was doing, you know, we were all started together so that we were all sudden playing these massive venues together. So, but I always had like 20, but I was sort of like, and around 2018, my girlfriend was like, she was like, you should, why don't you, she's like, why don't you do an hour? And I was like, I'm not the, I'm not the hour guy. You know, it's like, it's like, that's,

that's that's ali you know ali wong or melania the guy the jazz like those are the stand-ups like they're stand-ups that's what they do that's who they are i do stand up because i like to do it i like to but i got other shit i got to do you know whether i was i've always been lucky to be working as an actor writing producing so and then i was sort of like you know what i don't have a good reason for this and i kind of was like you know what i'm gonna commit to it and so 2019 i

I assembled all the stuff that I those 20 minutes and started building it, built the hour and then toured it properly, did a real tour and then got to it. Did Australia, New Zealand, London came back. Oh, shit. Wow. Top of 2020 and was like, all right, I'm going to shoot it in June 2020.

And then, I don't know, do you guys remember the pandemic? Yes, that's what it was. That's what it's called. And it shut it all down. And, you know, the special, the tour was called Middle-Aged Boy. It was all about me and my man or a boy kind of, you know, 40. At that point, I was 41. I hadn't had hadn't gotten married, hadn't had kids, hadn't figured anything out.

And then the pandemic happened and I ended up marrying my girlfriend, having a baby with my girlfriend. And so when the world opened up again, all of that material then. Oh, no. Wow. Ruined. It's so hard to come up with material. Yeah. That's why I don't get married. I want to do my act forever. Yeah. But it ended up informing the act and it became about this larger thing. And so then I toured it.

the last year kind of picking and popping in and, and, you know, doing a, a weekend of Texas of, you know, Phoenix. And, and then I shot it in at the Warner theater in DC in, in June.

And, and, and yeah, and now it comes out in on September 27th. So can I ask you, sorry to interrupt, but no, please. So here you are, you know, you're so accomplished. You've done all this stuff and Oh, hello show with Mulaney and everything. And so now you're doing this special. And so what, what was it about it that you wanted to achieve? Like, are there moments of it? You go, wow, this is, this is really a next level of standup.

Or did you feel you had some areas you hadn't done before, more vulnerable or anything like that? Yeah. I think what I learned, the lesson I got out of Big Mouth, which, you know, it's this animated show about me and my buddy, Andrew Goldberg, I mentioned earlier, going through puberty. So it was 13-year-olds and we were one of the first things on Netflix after animated shows, after BoJack.

And they really wanted us to go for it. It's super dirty, incredibly dirty, but also very... And sweet at the same time. Yeah, very emotional. It's a very honest and I... Who plays your pubic hairs? Jack McBrayer and Craig Robinson are my pubes. Yeah, got it. Okay, just so people don't know.

I don't know if I read for that. You lived it. You sent us some pubic hair, which is very kind of you. I didn't understand the audition. I go, here's my pubes. If you like it, I'll come in. Wayne's World 2, I was 38. I open the script and Wayne goes, Garth just got pubes. I'm 38. I go to Mike. I go, what?

Okay. But anyway, so back to you, Nick. So what did you, what did you try to, how did you feel? So I, but the lesson I learned from big mouth, because what I found was I got rewarded by, from people, you know, audiences being like you, you know, feedback was like, it's so vulnerable. You being so vulnerable. And I, and out of that vulnerability came some real, I think you both very funny, but also very emotional stuff. And I think, you know, I think Dana, you know, this and,

David, we all have like as a comedian, you have you have your your you figure out how to have your be funny and protect yourself.

David, I know you're always very open and there's no... Self-deprecating. You're never protecting yourself. You're very vulnerable on stage. Yes. But I think when you're a character guy, you got your characters. You get to say everything you could never say as yourself through your characters. Or, you know, we find a way to have our walls up to protect ourselves, I think. And I...

And I realized with Big Mouth, the more vulnerable I was, the more I was finding gratification in being honest and transparent about stuff. And some of my favorite stand-ups are the ones who figure out how to share some version of themselves that they're not, that feels real to an audience. Well, what was an area you went to that kind of exposed that? You can do it. Not you have to do it like in a funny way, but just the subject. I mean, I started like I have a premise in there of like...

There's a bunch of stuff. I end up telling a story about getting my breakup. I got dumped like 10 years ago. There's a story that didn't make the special that inspired it, which is I'd gotten dumped. How did you get dumped? Text? We went to a wedding together and then

came home from the wedding and she was the one getting married that was the first clue that was the first clue she was marrying another man and she wanted me to be the ring bearer in like a little doily dress and so i felt frankly frankly i felt a little emasculated um uh but she she just done she the whole joke is i mean it's true is she says i'm just not attracted to you

That's a rough one. That's a rough one. Yeah. It was a rough one. I talk about this story, I won't do the bit, but it's, you know, does anyone look in the mirror and feel good about what they see? I ask the audience, you know, and I just sort of start to go into...

you know, whatever the, the insecurities that I feel about myself, how, what the inner voice that now in the special is, is Jason Statham. For some reason, the, the voice that I hear when I look at your alter ego talking to you, it talks like Jason Statham. Look at you. Look at you.

That's really good. Do more of that for a second. I love it. Can you do the whole special real quick? Yeah, of course. Of course. Well, we'll just release it on the podcast. So, ooh, look at you, Red. You Red Rashi. So he's just putting you down like crazy. That's a great premise with that voice. Crushing me.

So that's funny. I just love Jaden's statement. I never hear anyone do that. That's funny and real. Jaden, Jimmy, what's his name? Moe Jason. What would Jason say about our Fly on the Wall podcast?

I love it. I love getting the inside scoop on a show I never gave a fuck about. For me, it begins and ends with Benny Hill. I was the little old man on Benny Hill. All right, now I'm getting mad about it. You have that skill set of when you do the character, then you can write as the character in real time. Yeah.

Much easier. Yeah, it's hard. You can write by doing improv. You too, Dana, right? I mean, it's much easier to write as the character. Yes, definitely. But I noticed that with you too. Very much. It's filterless. I'm able to enter a flow state, if I may say something that terribly...

new age is when I get into care, if I'm really in it in character, the filter is removed and I can sort of go and say, that's fine. I believe it's a mild form of self-hypnosis. If you're in a car with friends for hours and you're just, this stuff is coming out of you where you're not even thinking and a character, uh, it's a very exciting place to be. That's really funny. So the special, yeah, little big boy.

Yeah, so the special is much more vulnerable, much more honest than I've been as myself. It was really like, because I used to do the show, my stand-up would always be like a way to get into characters, you know? And then, so this was, you know, an attempt to do something. And I wanted to just do it. I wanted to be like, no, I'll put myself up here and just, you know, like, I'll put myself up and...

And so we did it. Well, Lorne Michaels would say, you have a lot of goodwill. In other words, your audience loves you. So they're going to go with it. But did you like the way, without throwing anyone under the bus, the way it was shot, the way it felt, the way you looked at it? Was it hard to edit it? Or did you like the vibe? Watch yourself. Because it's hard to shoot a special with the lighting, the audience, and how many shows did you do? It's always your least favorite show. I don't know if you guys have had this. It's always your least favorite show of the tour. Yeah. Yeah.

And and luckily I saved D.C. D.C.'s a great comedy in my mind, a great comedy. Yeah, I played there. They're smart, but they're not like jaded like New York or L.A. I had been the the truth is I just come off of I'm Mel. Mel Brooks asked me to do History of the World Part Two as a show, as a sketch show for Hulu.

So what? Yeah. So we, we just wrapped that before I shot. So it's me,

I brought in Wanda Sykes to produce it and star in as well, and Ike Barinholtz and his writing partner, Dave Stassen, and then we gathered a bunch of people to be in it. Damn, did you know him? Dana, I don't know if you know this, we asked you to be Howard Cosell in a bit. That never got to me. I would have done it. Yeah. Oh, no. And down goes Franchia. Down goes Franchia.

We got, we got, of course, the next choice, of course, David Duchovny, who's actually, it was a very funny. I love David Duchovny. Yeah, he's great. But we went, so we shot it as a, as a, as a series, as an eight episode series for Hulu. And, and so we had shot that. I'd forgot what it was like to make a sketch show. It's so fucking exhausting. I don't know. Yeah. It's just so, so we, we shot that. And then I basically had to run right into shooting the special and,

So I was just, frankly, I didn't have enough time or energy to be too, I just sort of, in a good way, I was sort of like, I did as many shows as I could leading up to it. Some of them good, some of them bad, just to remember the show. And then-

Just make sure you tell your people, make sure the one I tape is the fucking worst one. And they go, okay, we'll figure out how to do that. No worries. Make sure they have the cowboy shot at all times, because with mine, they forgot to do the, uh, the Carson, you know, the classic talk show host shot, like really thigh.

So it was just either head to toe or kind of chest or neck up. Close up of his eyes. Yeah. It took me two weeks to get it even watchable. Because everyone has a 60 inch, you know, 8K. And then my face at, you know, way after the age of 60, just right in your living room. And things were popping out like, holy shit. But it sounds like you're so big. Mel Brooks, did you know him before this? Or did you get his, hey, it's Mel.

Brooks Cullen, how are you, kid? Hi, hi, yes, hello, hi. No, he, yes, he actually came and saw Oh, Hello. Oh, so he must have loved you. I had a meeting with him. Me and Mulaney had a meeting with him, and he gave us a box of Raisinets when we left. Jeez. And he came to see Oh, Hello, and then I saw him present Blazing Saddles at Radio 2. He had met him a few times. Wow. Did they win a Golden Fart Award?

I'll take it out. I'll take it out. He and I mean, for me, it's SNL and Mel Brooks. Frankly, there's nothing more. There's nothing. And when I look at my there's nothing more impactful and like the producers are

Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and History of the World were massive for me. And I know those movies by heart. And the producers ended up being, for me, the biggest one for a long period of time in my life. The Gene Wilder, Max Bialik, the Gene Wilder, Zero Mostel relationship. It's like, I can't tell you how. So having him come to us was massive. That's awesome.

So the special is kind of like a throwaway at that point. But that's a good way to do a special. It was. It didn't allow you to think too much about it. But you know with the specials, like, you watch it. I have to watch it a few times just to look at my fucking ugly face before I can give notes on the... You know what I mean? You just watch it and you're like...

All I can see is my hairline and my double chin. That's all I see. Well, I can't. If I go on a show and I feel like I should look at it, I put a iPad like eight feet away from me.

And then I'll watch it like from eight feet away. Cause I don't need to know what I look like at this point in life. So, but that's what it's like. What are we doing? Why do we care? Nobody's watching us to look at what we look like. You know what I mean? Nobody cares, but the comedians were more vain than the, than the Brad Pitt. Yeah. And then one person says, you look good on, you go, really? So gross. I do. I know I did. Hey, look, I only had one person say it.

But when I did my Nick, they go, I had my opener up there who does a good job. And I was like, in the back, we're kind of talking. And I finally stopped. I go, listen, guys, what's that? And I go, exactly nothing. Why isn't he getting laughs? And then I go, he's bombing? God damn. So I go up there and do it. And my first 10 minutes is work. And when you're up there and you're going, after your second joke in my head, all I think is,

This is my special and I'm not doing well at my own show. Yeah. And so I go, gross. And then afterwards they go, you do know they all were required to wear N95s. I go, what? And they go, well, they took their masks away and gave them the heavy duty ones they used to do drywall. And I go, well, and then they go, and they had them face the other way just for precautionary reasons. And I go, well-

So they told him not to laugh. But other than that, it's just like a regular show. Your special should have been called N95. Oh my God. David Spade's N95. So they go, we can of course put fake laughs in later and make it look like you did good. And I go, no, no. I did fine. I think just...

And I don't want fake laughs because it's more for the people at home and stuff. So I go, just play it the way it is. And people like the jokes or they don't. But it was a little bit of a kick in the nuts. But there's that energy. There's just the feedback from the audience. Yeah, and you want them to go crazy when everything works. I'm fighting it too much. I should just come out as a church lady, open it up, do a quick change. I'm fighting it too much. No, because why am I fighting that? And then come out as Garth. And I should do a special, just call it what you really want to see. The hits. Yeah. And I'm always doing character. Dana Carvey, give them the hits.

Give me the hits, okay? When Holland Oates is there, they go, oh, you want to hear Rich Girl now? And everyone goes, yes. The thing about Nick Grohl, you know, he's got a show called Big Mouth, you know, with the kids. They haven't gotten any pubes, and they're going around saying, how are you? How's your pubes? It's a very fun show. You know, we love it. I read for the butthole. Anyway. Thank you for sending us a picture of your butthole, by the way. I said, if you need it.

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7-15-24 and 9-11-24. And Dell will donate $1.75 for each eligible product within your purchase to ComputerAid, capped at $1.2 million total. For details and restrictions, go to dell.com slash deals. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony,

which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, yeah.

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

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Here's my prediction for Nick Kroll. Yes. Before the 50th, which is three years from now, and I think it could happen sooner. Oh, the 50th. 50th anniversary of SNL. Before, probably, but for sure before that, you will host SNL. Whoa. That's very... Because it's a critical mass...

That you're at. And I think I haven't seen your special, but all this stuff, all these years, it just seems like a natural thing. So I hope I didn't jinx it by saying that. Yeah. You're whatever. I mean, it is a yeah, it's it's one of those things that is like it would be very nice. It would be a real scare the shit out of you or not.

Um, no, I mean, it would be scary because you just because it's just it's just so it being on live like none of that scares me. But the place and the place doesn't scare me. But the but the.

It's true. I get more scared giving a toast at a wedding, a friend's wedding, than I do going on stage for 1,500 people. Because it just feels more important. I get scared eating toast.

Really? You scared about the roof of your mouth? It was too crunchy. Here's me 10 minutes from now calling Lorne Michaels. Yeah, we just had Nick Kroll on. He's so likable. He's so funny. I think you should really have him to host.

Right. Not kidding. We're big fans here, and I think it would be terrific. I like when you want to redo your audition and have them go, we aren't starting, everyone's in the bathroom. And you go, oh, you're going to hold it? And then it's just dead silence. You go, I'll be on the wings. I'll be over there.

I wish I had said that. You just relive different things you say that he doesn't laugh at. Oh my God. I don't think there's a thing I can say that, going back and playing that out, I don't know if there's a win for me on that one. You nailed it though and it just didn't, I think he probably wasn't listening and he's like, what's up? But it's also, I don't know what it was for you guys, you were in clubs, it's blinding light. Like I didn't, I couldn't even see him. Like I could just hear the voice. It's a horror film.

I know, and you're up there jumping around like JonBenet and no one's laughing. If you host the show, Nick, right before you come out, Lorne will be in the wings and go, they're all gone. And just walk away. The crowd? Lorne will just say the same thing he said. Was that the thing he said? Nobody's here. They're all gone. They're all gone. Dave, did you ever do JonBenet on the show? I dated her briefly right before.

Before the murder. No, John Bonet was just always like a go-to funny in quotes reference. It's a great reference. And everyone's like, what the fuck? But most of the time people would laugh at it. But I remember my first special, I go, John Bonet, I saw in the Inquirer ad.

it happened and I go, she wasn't as hot without makeup and everyone's like, excuse me? And I go, she was pretty. She wasn't a stunner. I mean, she had the basic fat bones and I go, by the way, not super talented. She was good. Not a super talent. I think it was a lot of hype and then everyone's like, wasn't she five? And you're doing jokes about her? Yeah.

I guess. I don't know. Anyway, here's Michael J. Fox. Hey, Sarge. I'm sorry. Sorry, I just ripped my headphones off. Hey, Sarge. We have to let Nick go because...

He's got 15 shows. Nick, you're awesome. Let this poor guy go. He's been great. I enjoy the show. I've enjoyed both of you in all of your forms for many, many years. So I am genuinely tickled and grateful to be on it with you guys. So thank you for having me. Very cool. Hi, buddy. That's very nice. Enjoy it. And we'll see you out there. See you guys probably at the store. I like to say this. Hey, Nick, see you around campus.

Yeah, see you around campus. Hey, you know what? I like to go to, it's like my gym. That's where I go to work out. Yeah. Go to the store. Yeah, remember. I stand in the store in the hallway and I go, they go, what's up? I go, just running my new hour. I don't even have one. Just sounds cool. It's always so competitive over there. I don't like playing those places. Everyone's like. I'll see you guys on a weird Netflix is a joke Zoom cocktail party. Yeah.

Looking forward to it. I'll see you at Ted's house. Okay, bye, Dana. Bye, guys. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Aaron, what's going on? Hey, what's up, flies? What's up, fleas? What's up, people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions, ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com.

You got questions. You got questions. Questions. You know, kind of like a Letterman. We get questions. Summer shitty. Let's do it together. We get questions. One, two, three. We get questions. Could have been worse. Could have been...

Many listeners have written in about the goodbyes at the end. We call them the good nights. The good nights. And when you're backstage and it's like 1128, you'll hear, cast for the good nights, cast for the good nights. And then you hear that music that's kind of like sad and weird and very melancholy. It's over. It'll all be over soon. Who fucking wrote that thing?

Probably Cheryl or GE. Oh, Cheryl. And I love GE. Okay. We didn't finish the question. The credits roll and the host musical gets to cast. We hug, chat and stage. Is it awkward? Any stories? Well...

The first two years for me, I didn't want to be in the front because it looks too thirsty and embarrassing. So I'd run in the back with Adam and whoever. Farley would sort of eventually within milliseconds get to the front. And we'd always talk to each other. I go, Farley, are you going to run and hug Tom Hanks or are you going to climb on his shoulders because you're doing something obvious right in front of the camera? No. No.

You are. He's so shameless. And then we would all just go, who's going to be the first one to squeeze up to the front and give him a hug or get stiffed where you go to hug him on camera and they turn over here to hug Kevin Nealon and you go, bro. Oh, Sinead O'Connor.

I know. Yeah, I didn't want to be. It was kind of embarrassing. Here's the deal, show. This is Ross Perot. Here's the deal. We just did a show, 90 Minutes Before, and we did the good nights. We did the pretend good nights at around 9.45. So you had your pretend good night, and then you have the real live from New York good night. But you don't want to repeat your moves. But you didn't want to look too thirsty, so I would always step toward the back. Hmm.

and then make my way to the front. So by the end I'm front and center and just full face for everyone in America. You know what you do? You play possum during dress and you go, I don't care. I'm gonna be in the way back.

And then on hair, I go, well, I was in the back so much undressed, maybe I'll just squeak up there. Remember the time I went for a high five with you and you got me in a headlock? Just for any way to get the camera. That never happened. Sometimes I wave. I go, hey, Glenn Close, fist bump. Hey, Michael Keaton, give him a big hug.

Yeah, and you'd have kind of, if it was a shitty show and the host was scared and their eyes were real big and they were a little bit tipsy, they'd go, how was it? And the camera's really tight on you and you could read your lips. Not the best. No, you'd always go, it's great and you're great. Embarrassingly enough, if I was lighting the show or I was pissed off, I would boycott the good nights. Really? And Marcy would be like, stupid.

cigarette in the hallway. Where's Spade? Spade, good night. And I go, no. And she's like, get the fuck out there. I'm like, no. She goes, oh, you think Lauren's going to give a shit if you don't go? And why didn't you go out? Because you weren't in the show? Yeah, because I was mad. Because you're mad? And I was like, I'm not part of the show. Why would I be up there?

Wow. To me, if I had a good church chat kill, maybe come back with a Wayne's World, a Hans and Fran, and maybe Grumpy Old Man and Update, I'd be happy to say goodnight. No shit. But you would have, you know, bye-bye, you'd have kill with that, you'd kill with, and you are, you'd kill with that, you'd kill with it. You should totally get it. You'd kill...

With that. Yeah. And then you were kind of up. But if I would miss, I think I went 13 shows once without being in a sketch. Maybe I was on update once or twice, but I was like, oh. Really? But eventually when you crushed on the show, I remember Lauren saying, David, during good nights, he has a nose for the lens. He knows how to find the camera without pretending. Yeah.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.