Rob Schneider (Part 1)
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800 time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it? Dana, this is Rob Schneider, our good bud who, I can't believe it's taken this long. We got Rob on. He's one of our pals. We've grown up, sent a million other things online.

- Orgasm guy, sensitive naked man. You remember that one? - Oh yeah, yeah. - That's funny. - It was quirky. - So I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna tell you a quick story. Do you wanna hear about my monkeys audition or my Lorne phone call or my mom's feet? - Well, let's start with the monkeys audition. - I'll just do one for this intro. - Okay. - 'Cause we gotta talk about Rob. Unfortunately, it's not all about us. Which it usually is on the podcast.

I go, thanks, guest. That reminds me of a 22-minute story. It's like a long joke. Two narcissists start a podcast. The guest is the whole time like Woody Allen going, if I could jump in, I had a quick question, just maybe an anecdote. Because, yes, you kind of swallow and smack your lips, because I'm allergic to podcasting, you see, because...

Because I don't mean to be didactic or facetious, but as of this moment, having said a word, it's been an hour 20. I know a guy who went to dinner at his house and he said Woody had five Heinekens in a row and never used the bathroom, never was intoxicated. And the guy said, Woody, you have five Heinekens, never use the restroom. He goes, yeah, it's my special talent.

If that's true, it's hilarious. That's word for word true. Okay. So I'll do this one and the next one, Monkeys Audition. But this one is Rob Schneider. What can you say? He's got a career. He's got movies. He's got The Hot Chick, which had Rachel McAdams kind of.

Not discovered her, but either Anna Faris and Rachel Adams, I think. Yeah, the thing about Rob, which I... It was fun to revisit that he is quite a storyteller. Yes. And you're going to enjoy this episode because he takes his time. One of the reasons the episode went so long is because he's such a great storyteller. And he would... He'll come at these things comprehensively, like this part, that part, that part, and get to it, which is really nice for podcasting. So, so much fun. And he sings...

He does a lot of funny little accents and stuff He does a million, he does so many characters and accents He breaks down his catchphrase, Adam Sandler's famous catchphrase I read for that, Dana For You Can Do It? Yeah, I go and I go You can do it I did it like too dramatic and Adam was like, thank you, we'll let you know You know, my thing, I went and read too and I just What did you do? I went a little sexy You can do it

Really? And it was screaming at a football game and that was your choice? Yeah, I just didn't read the script. I just went and go, you can do it. I read the script and it's great. It's great, Carvey, but next time. Next time, maybe skim just a page of the script when it says stadium full of people. No, I did not read for you could do it, but Rob, uh,

He's the only one who could do it. Copping machine, we go through that. It's great. Massive Headwind Harry and Il Cantore, we break down those, which I have to admit. The big news, which I shouldn't say. Did he write fucking Massive Headwind Harry? It was his. I'm sure, you know, then people would chime in, but it was Rob's and he will tell you stories about

what happened at the end of Massive Head Wound Harry because what happened was a little incendiary involving an animal and there was a method to the madness. How's that for a tease? I'm teasing more now. And this one's a two-parter or as I call it a two-farter. No, I don't. Actually, I don't say that.

This is all, this is great you're in here. These are just really fun because I can get a sense of you, you know, like if something's wrong or you're bored, you're suppressing a yawn. Your eyes darting. That face that says, why did I say yes? Can we start it? Let's go. We're already halfway done. Wait, can I use the bathroom? We're almost done. One last question for Rob. I got to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in an hour. I'll deal with this guy.

There's one down here, dude. So many thoughts are flying through my head. Go to bathroom 38. It's straight across. So many thoughts are flying through my head. You just have to field questions. It's easier. I'm on my way here. You know, I'll wait for Dana to come back. Hurry, Dana. No, the thing about you, David, was you had a...

You, unlike me, I would go to life and there was a very Asian thing, very Chinese thing. When I worked, I did a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme in China. It was a different thing. And this is going to come back to you eventually. But what happened was if there was a...

In the Western world, if there is a problem, you look at it and go, okay, well, these are the tools that we need. This is how long it's going to take. And these are the amount of people we're going to get. Now, in China, it was the exact opposite. They'd run to a place with the people that they had, figured out what the problem was there, and used the tools that they could. So it was, in other words, it was like a lot of things blowing up on set, you know? Yeah.

you know, the generator or whatever getting rained on and blowing up. But you figured out things quicker. Like, for instance, when I first met David at an acting class here in town, you kind of figured out where the good-looking girls, who the good-looking girls were, and who. And then you also had, like, instead of, like, you know, when I moved down here, I moved into, like, a dump house.

And then like you buy like the one piece of furniture. And then I went to your house and you had a scam worked out way ahead of time, which is like you moved in with a really good looking older woman. You just rented a room in her house and the place was tricked out already. Oh, right. She had a beautiful couch. She had like, I mean, first of all, a couch was like a big deal to me.

And then she had stuff on the walls. She had nothing on the walls. She had a refrigerator. And you just worked out this delicate situation with her. And I went like, holy shit, I would have never figured that out. It was, I was looking at the paper. That's our David. I was looking at the paper for places to live. And on my own, I couldn't click and get one. And it was too expensive. And then hers was $400.

but she already had a two bedroom. So I just went and met random people. And then it was in Toluca Lake and it had a room. She had the big room and she had the whole place beautifully done. I would just walk in, skim through the kitchen. You could keep stuff in the fridge. She was very nice. And I just go in my room. So that's all I needed. I had a room with a bed and then a little desk and then a TV in the corner. So I could write, pick up the phone, hear your messages.

And then sleep. So that's all I needed. But she was also a very attractive older woman. And when I say older, I mean she was 30, which was like for us, that was like a crazy old girl. It was like Mrs. Robinson. Yeah. And I never even flirted with her. And I'm like, how did he figure this out? But she was too out of my league, too pretty. She was an actress and she was...

Five years older than us Six years Seven years older Yeah which is a huge Which is huge Big jump I could It was weird to talk to girls our age We had no confidence back then And we were just like And she was so great But then I think the day I left She's like Oh you know we never dated Wow And I was like

You could have said something. I would stay there 11 years. Well, you know what? I stay there all during SNL. Mary Lou Henner, who we're talking about, said to me, can I set the scene for 30 seconds? Sure. You know I do this for the audience. Yeah. So this is a trifecta of people who have known each other for a long time. Yeah. We'll talk about Rob and I doing stand-up in San Francisco in the early days. He was like at eighth grade. I don't know, but he was...

Always great. And then how I intersected with you at Neon's will be said in the podcast. And then you two hooking up. Dennis Miller gets in there. Next we know, I get on SNL. And then here come Schneider and Spade. I just wanted to set the table that we've known each other a long time. Yeah, there was a thing. But because we were on, I mean, I want to get to the Dana track of it all. I'm going to interview you guys. The, but the...

You had a way of figuring things out. And then one thing, because I've been listening to the podcast, was the psychological makeup for people who get – for comedians who get on SNL. And I've been like deep into this kind of –

Well, I would call it like emotional damaged people. Sure. I consider myself that. It's like, you know what it was like? It's like, it's gotta be one parent who's missing, unavailable, either physically or emotionally.

And another one trying to make up for it, who has also got problems because she's with somebody who's emotionally and physically not available. And so that was the kind of the click. Wow, that was mine exactly. There is something about that, like, you know, who's not there. And it's just depending on who, you know, like that other parent tries to make up for it and can never completely. But at the same time, like also the youngest person in the family.

You know, there's the thing about the youth or, you know, sometimes it's an older one who felt like they had to clean up for everybody else in the family. There's a weird thing, though, where like, you know, there was missing something. So you felt like you had to go out in the world and try to get it. So gross, but pretty accurate. And then that begets resiliency. If you have dysfunctional parents, you become the adult in a way.

and then show business, which is an emotionally violent sport. 'Cause I wanna ask you guys, like you bomb that night or an SNL person's there and you don't do well, you just go through a landfill and then who, it's a Darwinian thing, like who survives the Game of Thrones of early standup? - How do you not give up? - Gets, makes friends, other people up the food chain recognize, in your case, your guys stood out from all the young comedians on a tier below me and for your writing and everything else.

And like, how did you deal, Rob? So you...

- How did you fight through this or were you, like how did you get on Sarah's life? - I think it was a combination of extremely vulnerable and extremely hypersensitive. I remember when I was in second grade, 'cause you know, my mom was Filipino, she just recently passed away, Asian and a really tough war survivor. And she was, and through therapy, through Dr. Gabor Mate, who's an amazing Hungarian therapist,

It's like, it's like he would call it generational trauma. In other words, that's passed on to you. I didn't even realize about this. So, but we would eat weird things and my friends wouldn't want to, they wouldn't come over to the house twice. You know what I'm saying? Once you see like, you know, somebody's mom sucking the eyes out of a fish and crunching it in front of them, they don't come back for that second meal. So that's it. So that's the, and so, but that's the way I grew up. So there would be like, you know, you go to your other friends, there weren't like heads. You don't go to a place and there's like,

you know, the head of a fish there. I like the head. Or the head of the shrimp and stuff. But I loved that. But it was embarrassing. Because you were taught to love it and you didn't even know what you were eating. Is it okay for you right now to do your mom talk, explaining that to your friends? Yes, it is. Now I can. How she sounded. I'm in my fit. But see what, and it was this, it's very harsh. That's what I was doing, his mom. It was literally like my whole child was, Robert!

It was just literally like just, you know, if not physically, emotionally kind of jumping back. But I remember being in second grade, being at the tide pools, because that's what you do if you're a California kid. Yeah. They don't take you to the zoo. It's cheaper to just go to like the ocean and see if there's anything over there. Pacifica. Yeah. So we went to the tide pool. And then I remember picking up one of these things that we would –

you know, it would be an Asian thing, like a little clam or something. And I said, this smells good. And I remember the tears. Ew, Robert, that's disgusting. Put it down. And that's when I realized, I said, at seven years old, I said, I am way more sensitive than any of the other kids in my class. And that's my weakness. Yeah. And I knew that right then.

And that was – and then it took 20 years to realize, well, that's also your strength. So it's a combination of the two things, extreme sensitivity, but also like, you know, and my parents were like, you know, as being raised by 12-year-olds. You know, my mother first because that was when her trauma happened when, you know, in the Philippines when the Japanese came over and both her brothers were murdered by the Japanese. Right.

And so that trauma from that time, she would, whenever she had problems, she would revert to that because that was her survival mechanism. So when she was mad at my dad, I remember coming home and seeing every glass, every plate in the whole house that she could reach.

on the floor broken and my brother would just go hey you gotta wear your shoes today in the house there's another agency how old were you at like at that point when you see the broken glass like six seven eight yeah like young really really an impressionable time impression that doesn't never get the childhood fucks with you and you laugh at it and then the dad would come home marvin would come home and the mature guy would come home and he would everything my mom couldn't reach he would break

And so we'd come home and you'd see nothing but broken stuff. And it's like, this is normal. It didn't happen every day, but that was representative of like, whoa, there's a landmine here. But it did make you tough. And I remember like going back to stand up. I just remember the sensation of bombing. And I said, okay, this has to be instructional. And this is the kind of thing of being tough. And this is you in high school, right? High school, yeah. Okay.

Bombing, because it's like, you know, David, you can relate to this too. It's like when you're performing and you don't, you're not an adult, people are concerned about you. You're being in a club, there's alcohol, they're not relaxed and they have to be relaxed to watch and be able to.

the physical feeling of it. And I said, okay, remember what this is. As I was walking off stage, the only thing I can describe it as, it felt like my ears were melting off of my head.

Yeah. Sometimes when I get up, when it's such a bomb, it feels like the Hurt Locker where a bomb goes off. It's just like, eee. And everyone's talking to me. You can't see their mouth. You're just walking off going, because you're thinking of so many things. What went wrong? What was going on? And now everyone's repelled from you because you bombed and they don't want to be near you. But I didn't quit. And I was saying, it was like officer and a gentleman. I got nowhere else to go. I didn't really...

I didn't have any other plan. Once I started in standup, I quit school and then I go, I have to keep doing this because I

I'm not good at anything. But it's instructional though, because at the same time, what I didn't realize, and now as I realize, you know, through years of therapy, like I feel like I'm Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin would talk to you- By the way, when did you start? I'm stealing your therapy because I- Therapy at 15? No, no, no, 15 therapy. Oh God, on and off for years, but the last few years, pretty good. All right, so go back. You said Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin would be, when you talk to him, he talked to you like-

He basically treated everybody like they were just getting out of drug rehab, you know? So every conversation, every word was kind of like this, you know? So very gentle so that everybody's, and it's just, it's too much, you know?

Well, when did you talk with Charles Grote? I'm sorry. No, no, Charles Grote. Well, remember he had a talk show there. Oh, you went on. MSNBC, one of those. Yeah. He had one of those guys. He was like a therapist. This is too much therapy. Phyllis Diller is here. I've known him for a while. The idea of it though is instructional now that I think about it because you do have to melt away the ego. You have to kind of start from zero to do standup, to risk yourself, to risk humiliation. You got to let go of that ego and this stuff. I'm sure we all didn't have much ego though.

Huh? We all didn't have much ego then. I mean, it was more like I didn't think I was a good standup. I was trying to be a good one. And I was sort of all broken down into the bits anyway. So any elevation we got to, there was a point when Rob and I were pretty much from Dave, Becky, the guys that booked like the improv stuff, were pretty much two of the best middles out there getting, I think, a thousand each. That was a lot for a seven show. Yeah, I mean, they don't get that now. Yeah. They'd fly you somewhere. Yeah.

And they put you in the condo. The comedian's condo. And he was like, they'd pay you as much as $1,250 or $1,500 a weekend. Wait, what? Which was crazy. I think I capped out at $1,000. And that's when we got SNL because we were friendly. We were friendly with Drake Sather. We knew maybe Apatow, Sandler. There were some guys in the Valley doing the Valley Improv. And then when we got SNL. We never were good headlines, but we were monster middles. Yeah.

We didn't realize how hard. You both opened for me. I'll say at the end of the podcast, who was the hardest guy to follow? We actually have a clip in here. I'm going to say, I just want to second go back to the ego thing because I think that's really interesting. Did you guys have a sense, even if it was here and there, like,

like a sneaky ego or kind of like, I think I might be able to do this. Like maybe you were the funny guy in seventh grade or you did a book report and they laughed. So that's the problem. You might've had a little bit of a sneaky ego of like, I think I can do this. This is one thing I would respectfully disagree with you on that, David. It's gigantic ego. It's fragile and extreme sensitivity, extreme vulnerability. And that combination is show business. It's such a horror show.

It is, it is. Because what it is, but what happens is once you have that monster thing that happened, like for me, it was in high school where all of a sudden I was the funny guy and then everything changed.

Like girls who would never look at me. And then that was it. That's my end. So that was the one kernel that would keep you going because he said, this can really work. I know I can do this. I murder with my friends. And so that combination of that. And then so when you're bombing and stuff, you go, this could work. This could work. Right. But you're not with your friends anymore. And that's the way people say I'm the funniest guy at my office. Right.

When you go to a stage where no one knows. It's hard to explain that to the audience, though. Seriously. Well, I think it's part of the charisma. And I think with you guys, too, it's sort of like that likability comes from the vulnerability. But get out of the way. I'm the shit. You know, it's like Elvis Presley, which you played in Hawaii or something. Elvis in Japan. Yeah. Well, I want to get to that in a second. You know Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program?

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But I do think the charisma, because there were alpha male comics that were like bludgeoning the audience and killing with just sort of energy and crowd work and stuff. And they didn't go as far as the sensitive guys who also could be strong. And also you guys are both great writers. We'll get to that later. I hate to say that, but you really were. We're getting to nothing now. Thank you. Everything's later.

You had to recognize to be successful. I did recognize that when I was doing standup and I, you know, kind of, you have a couple of good moments or whatever, some joke, but then you see people who, you know, and I didn't have the confidence and sometimes you kind of get a little of it, but then you see people who are really confident and not talented. You had to recognize, and I didn't understand that.

That didn't make sense to me. He's like, why is Zach that confident? And they're headliners. You're like, confident but not talented. Yeah. And you had to recognize, okay, what's the difference? How am I going to make it? You walk into a place in 1982, 83. There's 30 comics. But I did recognize just those part of the strength that I did get from my violent mother was like, how are you going to make it? How am I going to make it? And these guys probably aren't. What's going to be the difference? Yeah. I would make that thought.

Yeah, yeah. I got to work hard on these guys. And also, I got to get rid of anything in my act that they're talking about. Yeah, that's the hard part. The more stuff you have, a side note, about yourself, least likely it's going to bump with someone else. Because when I go up and the guy, and I'm like a middle on the headline, he goes, you're going before me? Yeah. And he goes, okay, don't do anything about Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, driving. And I go, that's my fucking whole act. So I'm not allowed to do it because it bumps with his, which is something that happens.

And the other switch for me and Rob is jumping ahead. After SNL, we could headline and we weren't quite ready. And the biggest thing about headlining for me that was harder was A, following a good middle like a Rob, and then B, the checks going out. The people at home don't know that when you're doing an hour set or even 45, around 45,

25 or 30 minutes, the checks go down and that means everyone needs to pay so they can get them out. Oh, they're doing math. And everyone stops laughing. They just go look at their check and go, hey, who had two Cokes? Did you have the curly fries? What's 10% of 179? What's 3%? And then everyone's like talking. And then you go, wait, that joke usually kills it. And people never warn me. Oh, the checks go out right about then. And there's some comics that say don't put the checks out until I'm off, which is- I don't mind. It fucks the waiters over because- Yeah.

I never say that because you got, if you can get through that hump, then you're good again. Because when you hit that hole and you go, oh no, the checks went out my head. I see someone like slow motion going, oh, let me get my visa. I go, oh my God, everyone's getting them right now. And no one's listening. And,

And then you got to bring them back for your closer. You got to somehow keep them around. It's warfare. I got out of standup for 20 years because of that. Because I just like, I respect the art form too much to do it. If you're not doing it all the time and I didn't want to eat it and blah, blah, blah. And I did like, I said, if I'm going to do this, I got to do it full time. And when people pay, you don't want to rip them off

by doing like a half-ass. Yeah, I don't want to feel, I don't want to do a celebrity victory lap. So I had to jump back into it hard and I did. And it's been like, now I'm ready to get out of it again. You know, the name of my tour is Celebrity Victory Lap. So I feel so stupid. Yeah.

Well, what happens is you guys are just middle, so you have like a 30 when you got on SNL. 20. Okay. Let's be honest. I'm trying to be generous. I'm a nice guy. 25. You had 15. You had 10 good minutes. Anyway, and some filler. So then you get on SNL and you become the bad boys of comedy and you both have this great run in the 90s on SNL. Okay. And then all of a sudden you're being offered, can you go do an hour at a college? Yeah.

for like 20 grand or 15 grand, but you don't have it. So what, that was who you- I broke. At a certain point, I stopped doing stand-up, but I remember where it was. It's like 1992. It was 4,000 people in Milwaukee. And I see- You're famous now. Now I'm famous. Yeah. And I never had the thing where people are paying to see you before and they're yelling out stuff that, you know, they're yelling out. Making copies. During the day. During the day. During the day, gross. So they're sober. Well, they're not. Well, this is Milwaukee, so they're drinking during the day. They're all sober.

And then they do, they do, you do the show. And I got, I stumbled and I got through it and it was like, I gritted it out. And then there's two shows that day because they're paying you a lot of money. There's two shows. And then I walk out there and I look and I go, it,

The most frightening thing is it's the same. No. Oh, no. And I got to do it again. The same crowd. I can't pull it off. Grotesque. What did you do? I can't go on? I just, I mentally broke. You start crying. It's like a nightmare. No, but it's like, you know, from doing standup so much times, you know, when you're having the middle of like a set that ain't the best one. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And you just, you get through it because you're like, you can go into that robot mode. And I remember talking like, it's a weird thing. You show up at a place and I have made, and you're like this too, Dana. You'd say, what experience can I get out of this particular situation? And I do that. So I was on some show. I forget whether it was Leno or Letterman or one of those things. And there's this Asian violinist. She's like famous. I'm sorry, I forget her name now. But I said, how many days a year do you feel like on, on?

And she said, well, I work 250, do 250 dates a year. I said, how many of those dates would you guess? She felt like at the top of her name. Good question. Do you know how many she said? I'm going to say two. Yeah. I got it.

Shut up. I was going to say 240. She said two? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Because then you know exactly the little tiny thing. It's like, because when I, first of all, Dana was the guy in San Francisco. There's two guys that were so talented that Hollywood came up, there was a

Robin Williams and Dana Carter were so talented. You don't mind me saying, it's just a fact. You were famous before you were famous. They were so talented that Hollywood started coming up looking for, well, there's gotta be, they're making them up here. Going up there to get them, yeah. Look, well, there's more, but we'll, okay, I guess we'll take that guy. And it was just like, I was like the third tier of those guys. Well, all right, well,

then he's young enough maybe he'll turn to some but Dana would have lines around the block and you know performing for open mics you don't really get the that audience you can't really tell if your material kills or not whatever but

When you're open for Dana Carvey, you have a chance to have a real audience who's there for comedy. Good comedy crowd. Who's excited about comedy. Dana used to – part of his – he used to be able to do stuff about people waiting in line for his next show. And that was some of the funniest stuff in the show because it was like at the Elder Cafe, there was like an open window. Oh, you could see them through the window? You see them waiting to come in. Other comedians, we would sit in the back and just watch and go like, okay –

I said, "Well, we're good, but we can't do that." - Yeah. - Well, I had the same thing with Robin. I just kept thinking I gotta get better every time he'd come up and levitate to the Holy City Zoo. And I was starting in college. So by the time you saw me, Rob,

I had gotten, the cafe opened in 79, and that's sort of where I started to develop. Hey, the first time I did a character for 30 seconds that wasn't me, I was terrified. So by the time I, that club really, really saved me. Because, you know, you play the honky-tonk bars, the cowboy bars with the blender going, and your act gets bluer and louder. But that was like a, it was a 60-seater venue.

It was old hippies in there. They rewarded you. 70s? It's the difference between like liberals in San Francisco in the 60s and 70s, which are like question authority. Right. And they go with you. And if you were taking more artistic license, and sometimes like Grace Slick would be in the audience. You know, you'd have like,

It was like there were these cool – kind of what I loved about San Francisco. Poetry vibes. It was a bohemian vibe. Yes. Which was artistic and was supporting you like the great Ferlinghetti and the City Lights bookstore. It was a place you go – they printed their own books. So San Francisco had that vibe at that time. It still had it. It was eclectic, eclectic.

cool neighborhood and now it's it's it's gone but but that was a really now it's it's have you been to the gun down saloon there it's not bad last day but that was a place where they did reward you for going further yes and and would go and then so that was the perfect place yeah uh for for that and and you really did get a chance to see and you were like you were levitating on stage it was just you were floating and then the characters that you would do you'd pummel an audience

They were literally exhausted leaving. Rape and pillage. Jeez Louise, I'm loving this podcast. We should take our time. Let's not make this a rushy one. Let's talk about-

So Rob and I came up from the San Francisco comedy scene, which you, so. And the comedy, let me just interrupt one second. And the comedy, the big thing back then was, if you're a comic then, was the San Francisco comedy competition. Oh yeah, yes. And you didn't want to win it, but you wanted to get top five. What was the newspaper called? But Dana would do this thing. And he told me this. Dana was like, Dana gave me nuggets.

which I tell to this day because, and it really was, and he used to drive to the, I'll never forget this. When you drove to the comedy competition, because that was a lot of pressure and the talent scouts were coming and it was a big effing deal. Robin Williams,

And this was the time where it was like, it was big. You would perform with 1,500 people. It was that big, the competition. And you go through weeks of rounds to get to the finals. And he told me, Dana said that on the way to the place, he would listen to the Beatles. It's getting better all the time. That's true. A little better. What a weirdo. Isn't that kind of cool? It's a little sexy.

And Dana would say things like this, I need to feel funny before I go on stage. No one told me that. He had to feel silly. He got himself in the play. So there was a methodology. We didn't just do it. Because sometimes you just see the after effect. Like we didn't see the college years and working your way up and watching Rob and having to follow Rob. We just saw the audience just sees what they see. Yeah.

But to learn the craft and to learn at the high level that you were at and just as a young man watching this, like, okay, that's how you do this. That was very instructional. And it prepares you for SNL in a way. I mean, there's people came up through Groundlings and stuff, which kind of take their sketch and put it on. Stand-up is so rough and tumble. You have to be so tough.

Yeah. That on SNL, all you're trying to do, and it took me, I think, 80 shows, is to quiet that voice in the back of your head saying, this isn't going well. Yeah.

I missed that line. Ooh, I dropped that. Dress was better. I didn't commit like I did at dress. And so I wonder where you came in and when you felt like you got in the groove with SNL. Like, were you out of the box or 40 shows in? We did four shows in the 89-90 season. They brought us in, which was like, it was wonderfully, it was just amazing to just be there. You were like,

Somebody, you know, Bernie Brillstein, who was, you know... Talent manager extraordinaire, went to the stars. And he was also, but he would also give you to, look, look. Yeah. One is going to not let you. One, you're going to have to wait. And that's part of it, is you wait. It lets you know that you...

you are less important, but not in a bad way. But it's like, you got to know that. Yeah. And so this is a famous talent manager. Also managed Belushi and Akroyd telling you this. And Lorne. Listen. And Lorne. And Lorne. So the thing about it was like, I mean, it actually Lorne. Managed everybody. His whole Lorne Michaels, the famous, you know, comedy and, uh,

Legend. Legend who launches careers would also have his system make it a little easier. So he would rather just, if you were in the Brillstein camp, that was like minor league ball until you get a chance to get in there. But I remember the night that we auditioned at the improv. And by that time, I was hardened and I was ready to go. And I had a monster set to do because I had a monster. I remember Jay Leno, Bob Fisher, R.

Bob Fisher was another talent manager in the San Francisco scene. Who identified, could identify talent. So you're going to make it and I'm never wrong. Just nice to hear that. Wow. That's nice to hear. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony.

which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, yeah.

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

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Find it on AutoTrader. See it, find it. AutoTrader. Did you have a surefire when you auditioned? Like a bit that kind of always killed? Elvis on a fishhook? Yeah. Did you share that with our listeners? I had stuff. I'll give you one of his. Okay. Well, let's go ahead. Elvis on a fishhook? Well, it's like a... That's a visual. I forget the exact thing, but it was a thing where you could act it out, where you did an impression and get acted out, and it was an interesting idea. Because you did a really good Elvis. Yeah.

Yeah, so I did like, I was, you know, Elvis is what, when I first, before, you know, I was always into Monty Python and by the time Saturday Night Live came in, it was over. I was into it. Cheech and Chong, it was over with. I was in this for life. But the thing that for performing, the guy that I was turned on by most as a performer was Elvis. Just because of like, you know, the album, 100 million followers.

Can't be wrong. Unreal. It's like, well, that's true. Ha ha ha.

It's unreal. And he can't. No. That's like an entire population of Western culture, of Western society. And then his performance and his everything. He had this. And you played Tiny Elvis. Oh, you played Tiny Elvis. So I would literally just sing Elvis songs and try to get his moves and stuff. Can you? I know you're kind of shocked. Give me a little bit. Get on the mic. Hold me close.

hold me tight make me thrill with delight let me know where I stand from the start I want you I need you I love you well oh and then he would do this oh my god ha ha ha

So he was just like, girls would lose their, you know, I mean, they go crazy. They would go nuts. They go crazy when you would sing, now or never, I remember watching. And I did that at high school and after, and then it just murdered so hard that I was like, that was it. Can I say one thing right here? You kind of around in here, you look like Elvis.

You have a little bit of an Elvis overlap with your cheeks and your mouth. Thank you. It's a little something that kind of works. So when I put the fake sideburns on and I had the jumpsuit on, even at 115 pounds, my wrestling weight. And they called you Tiny Elvis? And it was Tiny Elvis. And then I did it. And it merged.

Because people, it was a really good performance. The difference is a really good impression performed really well, seriously. Yeah. That commitment to it. It's just like when Napoleon Dynamite, that dance he does is really funny, but he's really committing to it and it's really good. Yeah. So that's the combination of stuff. And then it just naturally, if you're naturally funny, then people are laughing at it. But when you went to Japan to do Elvis for a couple of months. It was complete. But were you playing, you were playing a serious Elvis performance?

Were you adding jokes? I wasn't. I mean, first of all, I got the phone call. And that's the time I was living in an apartment. This is unreal. $200 a month. $200 a month. Basically what happened was- That's it? I was living in a place, and it was just a hole in the wall. But what happened was Milt Abel, the comedian of Sarum says- I wrote his name down. I wrote down Milt Abel because I wanted to give some props to our- And he's an awesome guy. Really good comedian. He had jokes that I remember to this day. Like, you know when somebody tries to hand you a flyer and they go, no, you throw it away.

And it's just that little, good little one line. I wish I would have thought of that. And so I moved into this place. He said, it's $200 a month, blah, blah, blah. The first month I was in there,

the 85 year old Russian landlord who owned the place. He said, "So I end up," and then I had one bowl. - Can we hear the landlord? - I like it. - That's gonna be funny already. - This is the old guy who owns the place and he lives there. And it's a shithole. The whole place has been painted once in the '50s. - Shithole is my greatest. - But I don't need it. I just literally put a mattress in there, just the one mattress, and then this is it. And I'm just gonna do standup and write coffee. It was right down the street from Fillmore, his coffee shop. This is perfect. So I paid it. He said, "Only takes cash."

So 200 bucks, perfect. And then I remember like one of the, I only had one light and it was like a 30 foot ceiling. Cause you know what those old places are subdivided, subdivided, subdivided. And there used to be an old giant Victorian in the day. And then they turn it into like, you know, 13 apartments or whatever. And so the one bulb that was at the ceiling, the one light that I had, I didn't even have a lamp. It went out.

And I was like, well, I got to have that. You know, I had my one light. You need a light. I got to have a light. So I, you know, I don't know where to go. And Milt's asleep. But I said, well, I just go. I knock on the guy's door.

the landlord. And I go, well, you know, the lights out. What I did? Okay. I am going to have to get down and get the, get the ladder. I got downstairs to get the ladder. I come up, I come up. And then he came up, you know, and you just, I'm just, I'm just a dummy because it's like, I'm watching an eight. And then I realized I'm watching an 85 year old man on a 20 foot ladder, climbing up to change the light bulb. And I was like, I,

And then I thought, well, he's already up there. Let him just get it. He knows what he's doing. He can spot him. And he comes down and says, I don't feel so good. I don't feel good. I've never felt like this. Really? I don't know what to tell you. A week later, he's dead. Oh, my God. Died a week later. And the thing was, though, that he had no living relatives and anything. And so nobody was asking for rent.

So all of a sudden I went from $200 a month To nothing To zero I had nothing So I was living in a place For rent free Did you push him off Your floor at all? I think I may Changing the light May have killed him I don't know But I did realize I should not have An 85 year old guy Changing the bulb But anyway So the landlord dies How does this lead to Japan? So what happened was I get a phone call

from another funny voice Mark yeah Mark just Mark funny voice the Filipino community whether you're half Filipino or whatever right there's a small community of people and they try to like you know because they know that the Filipinos they'll work hard and they'll show up because otherwise you'll be

Great nurses. You do work hard. They'll beat the shit out of you. It's been beat into you. You better work hard. You better show up. If you say this, you got to do this. All right. And so you can depend on Filipinos. Like at the end of the day, like if you do get a Filipino to come over to your house while you're moving, they'll move till they're all day. Great. You know, and if you have somebody like they'll take your blood pressure. So I get a call.

And he says, hey, listen, you do Elvis, right? And he's like, he's calling me at nine in the morning, which I just want to sleep at like four. You do Elvis, right? You do sing Elvis, right? He saw me do the Elvis thing about it in high school. And so I said, yeah, yeah. He said, do you know the song? I said, I know a couple, like three. He said, why? Why? He said, well, we just lost our Elvis impersonator.

And I said, what do you mean you lost your, well, in Japan, they were sending a band for a new club that's opening. And he said, can you go to Japan to do Elvis? And I said, listen, I only know like three songs and I don't really, it's not really serious, you know? And I don't, I don't really. So I call Bob Fisher and Bob says, do it. You'll tell, you'll tell, tell the story and let him in one day. And so, and I called Mark and I realized,

I don't even have a passport. You know, I've never like, you know, I think I had left the country when I was a little like 13 with my parents. One of those cheapy European tours where you go on a bus and, and, um,

They take you to the worst hotels in all of Europe. So that was it. So I had to get a, I said, I don't have a passport. I can't go. Can you use the dead Russian landlord's passport? I'm in a drawer. Where's this going? He said, just go to the, this Japanese woman, just go to Japantown and she'll take care of the, they can take care of the Japanese. If they want to get something done, they get it done. Yeah.

- They're so Irish. - They conquered, they basically took all of Asia in a month. And so they'll do this. So I go over there and she looks at me and she goes, oh, his name wasn't Mark, it was Alex, I'm sorry. Alex Howery was his name. She looked at me when I walked in, with a fright in her eyes and like, I never trust Alex again.

- 'Cause you're the Elvis? - 'Cause it's like, I'm the short guy coming to be an Elvis, you know? - But you had puffy hair, you had like Elvis-ish hair. - Yeah, so, and I said to her right there, again, my standup experience after doing it for a couple of years, but I said, "No, no, no, no, I can do this. "I'd be all right, I can do it." And they had no alternative. They had nobody else. - It's like a movie. - And so, literally, it's like a Friday and I gotta fly Sunday.

to do this for the next week. And so the next thing I go, I'll just do it. It'll be fun. And I get on the plane and I start going over these... Songs? Songs and stuff. And we're like, I don't really know this. And then Alex is like, hey, listen, just...

where you're going, Kumamoto's, like the Alabama of Japan, they don't speak English. Just do the same verse over and over again. They're not gonna know the difference. So I said, all right, I'll just do that. But then I realized, no, you can't just do that. These are Elvis fans. Even if they don't speak English, they're gonna know. Teleprompter, cue cards. Yeah, this is way before any of that stuff for me. So anyway, on the way over there, I start getting a little bit nervous about it. And I go, ah, I'm sure it'll be fine. What's the big deal? It's just Japan. I'm never gonna come back to this place.

I land there. There's a bus that picks us up, a bus with posters all over the bus that says, Elvis, new Kennedy house, anything Japanese, you know, like anything Japanese, love any American words like Kennedy, Elvis.

Elvis, you know, Nixon, whatever they had. Nixon, Elvis, Kennedy Hauser. Barry Goldwater. Goldwater. So then we get on the bus and they drive us straight to go see the Kazu guy, which is like a mobster guy. And he looks at me too. Yakuza? Kazu? Kazu or whatever. It's a Japanese. He's the guy in charge, whatever. He's like the guy. And so he looks at me and says, you sing now.

You sing now. Are you Elvis? He looked at me. You sing now. You sing now. He's got a funny voice too. You sing now. You sing now. He's got hitmen around him and everything. He just looked like a dangerous little guy. So what did you do? He made me sing right there. He took us out to eat. Acapella? And he made me

sing. No, he made me go to the place and I said, I'm going to have some time. Literally, after we ate, he took me to the club and I said, okay, I got some time because the club's not done. It's like the walls aren't there, the floor's not there. Did you have one go-to Elvis song you know? Huh? Did you have one go-to Elvis song that you did in your acting? You know, like, Now or Never used to do. Yes. It's like Hound Dog or Blue Sway Shoes. But the

So anyway, we go to the place. It's not done. I said, I'm going to have time to learn these songs because the floor is not in. There's no way it's going to open tonight. But the thing is in Japan, if you're not done, they make you pay. If you're a construction whatever company. They make you pay for every hour you're late. You pay fines. Oh, that's not happening here. So they did finish it that night. And then the problem was it was three shows that night. Fuck off. And four on weekends. After the first show, the first night, I blow my voice out. I said, I can't do this.

I go running into the sushi place, which is every restaurant there, and just start shoving down ginger and ginger. I get through the second show. And then the third show, I don't know how I survived it. I never got to do it again until...

like this the next day and I don't know how I'm gonna do it again did you kill and it was good it was okay you know there was enough people on the weekends was packed was there a little band or karaoke we had like they flew me over with the band a little band but anyway by like and I said well you gotta figure it out and then but it was and sure enough I did do the I did my first Letterman appearance was I did I did I did

He said, so you were Elvis in Japan. What was that like? So he did ask me a question. I didn't have a really good... It's still funny because you did Elvis on a fishhook on your first set, right? Yeah. Going full circle. So that Elvis was really... And then Elvis on a fishhook was just one of those quick hit... But I could do a really good Elvis. So that would like, it helped. Oh, I know what it was like. I don't know. Maybe I said... Now, I would just introduce just like...

At that time, if you did odd stuff unconnected, it was kind of interesting. That was like a style at that time. It's like, and now I'd like to do my impression of Elvis on a fish hook.

And on a fish hook. And I go, ah, sunny red. I don't know. I'll maybe come back here one of these days and get some, ah, you know. And I would do that. And I'd have to go back and put a piece of fish on it. His lip curls up and he tilts his head and lifts up like he got caught. You gotta laugh. But that was the thing, like, when I did that, at that set that we did. Auditioning for SNL, probably. Yeah. And it was just one of those things. Like, you got a big laugh. It was interesting. And Lauren said later, you know, when I, um.

If I see something brilliant, I know that there's the potential to repeat it. And I said, am I hired? And I guess that was the way of being hired. Elvis on a fish hook will be like a runner. I don't know if it's a talk show. You talk to Jim Downey. Well, you also used to do reading from Elvis. Actually, your act was very unique. When you say, you just said a little bit ago.

I should try not to have the material like everyone else. That wasn't my motto, but you did because you actually did that. You also did...

Also reading from the first time I met Elvis. Elvis and me with Priscilla was funny. An impression if you're not good at it, just doing something that's completely not good at all is also works. Who was that? That was Priscilla. Oh, okay, I got you. I read the book Priscilla, Priscilla Presley wrote a book called Elvis and Me. And I swear to God, when I was reading it, I started reading it out loud to people.

And they were just howling laughing. So what was the voice you used for Priscilla? It was, I would just talk like this, which is kind of like a version of my mother. My mother also, she would never, she didn't understand. Her mother's from Baguio, which is like the mountains of the Philippines. She wouldn't understand jokes, but she would understand how to laugh at the right time. She'd go, ha, ha, ha. Your mom. Marvin. Very sweet. What does it mean? What does it mean? I don't understand. You know, when he said, he goes, when you were, one of your jokes was, um.

I'll mangle it. When you were a little kid, when you were eight years old, you banged your head on the coffee table and your mom would make you feel good and she'd go hit it and she goes, bad coffee table, bad. And she goes, and you'd feel better. And she goes, we make it even, bad coffee table and hit it. And then you go to bed and your dad wakes you up at two in the morning and goes, hey Rob, get on down here. Your mom spilled hot wax on the coffee table. We gotta make it even.

You know our policy. Oh, yeah. So then you have to- He's got a four-hour. Yeah, yeah. That was the idea, yeah. They got to make it even. But I remember if I did that, you know when you do a character, it's like you can do your jokes and you get it, but when you do a character, it's just another- Also in the middle of the joke, you're playing people. Yes, and also you had a musicality to it. You had a rhythmic musicality from the early days, and we're hearing it now, which is also, I like The Hole is Great and The Sum of the Parts

of musical rhythms. - Oh yeah. - Like getting copy, what was, how do you hit that? It was just so infectious. Making copy, you know like that. - There's a musicality to it. - Yeah. - It sings, it's gotta sing. - It's a song. This year, Dell Technologies' back to school event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

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That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. How did you know? Let's get to that part. Rob and I fast forward. We get hired on SNL. We auditioned at Catch Rising Star, I think.

Well, the first one we did at the Melrose. Okay. And then like the scariest part was like, at that time, I kind of had like a little bit of a fuck you attitude in a good way because you have to because otherwise you get beaten down. You're too... And I said, you know what? And then I got the call from Bernie. He managed to put extra syllables in that one. And I said, well...

He'll want, you know, Robert Smigel. Stallone, his son. Stallone, yeah. Smigel did a funny thing where he was like, it was just, you know, you take it so exaggerated and Robert was like, let me eat your foot. I don't know how it got there, but his Bernie impression, I want to eat your foot.

Bernie was a heavy guy. No one knows anything. That's the thing he told me the first day. No one fucking knows anything in this business. And later on, Brad Gray said, I don't know, why is he saying that? Because it's like, no, give me 15% of that gross thing. I don't know fucking nothing. Now give me a check. It's true. So the next day he said, Warren wants to meet you. Warren? Warren. And I said, well, I got a gig in San Diego.

And I said, he knows. I'm middling. I get a gig in San Diego. And he said, he'll know if you have a job. He'll respect it. And he said, if he wants to meet me, fly me to New York. And that was very, and I just said that in the morning. As I'm driving down to San Diego, I have the cold sweats. And I literally like, I just fucked up everything.

thing and I really had but in the back of my mind it was the right thing and the only person he flew out of all those people audition was me to New York you flew over me while I was driving David was getting ready to move furniture because he had to go back and forth and they hired us as a writing team

I remember you guys coming in like freaking. Yeah, it was a weird scene. Bernie said, they're a writing team. You gotta hire them both. I was not aware that I didn't wanna, first of all, I didn't wanna be a writer. I wanted to write, but be a performer. And that was hard. And that's what I was saying about Copy Machine. We did those four shows. Even Dennis said, Spudley, you don't get anything on. I think it's curtains. I'm like, and it was only fucking four shows. I go, there's no fucking chance. I did get a Michael J. Fox on, on the Dice Clay show. And Kenny Among, who I love,

says, David, I forgot to put you at the beginning. I go, what does that mean? He goes, I didn't put your card up where it says featuring David Spade. And I go, it wasn't there? And he goes, yeah, so no one knew who you were. And I go, God damn, I one shot. It's a tradition on the podcast. Just 10 seconds of Michael J. Fox casualties as a war. Sarge.

Actually, I just gave you one. Do it for Rob. No, you're down to one syllable. He's seen it too many times. So I do Michael J. Fox. And then we have a summer off. And then Rob and I get hired back. They always wait a while. It was a little touch and go-y because we didn't get anything on. But I remember like I would do anything. Like they said like write...

Promos. Promos, which is like that. Why are they letting me write promos? I've never written a promo in my life. So this is awesome. Fucking jury. You realize no one wants to write the promos. Yeah. And so I went in and they said, you know, and Lauren was, I mean, I was just blown away by the fact that Lauren would even talk to me. Of course. And then he said like, and then, you know, you know, just, and you have to write it. You'll write promos.

And then, um, no explanation either. You just got to figure it out. So then, and so I went in and Debra Winger was the host. And I went in and Jack Handy wrote a great sketch with her, even though she was very fragile. I walk into their dressing room and she's there sitting on the floor.

And she's literally crying going, I can't believe you talked me into doing this. I just, I'm not good. I can't. And it was like, whoa, is this like this every week? Yes. Wow. I would have gone in Travolta, you know, for her, like from what that Western or whatever. Urban Cowboy, go ahead. You know, like, I kind of think I might be falling in love with you or something like that.

Sorry. That was a day, well, but Dana too, he would hit the, you know, in his standup too, he's like, the turns he would make, by the time he would be like a NASCAR racer, you know, a driver, and all of a sudden, and by the end of his routine, because he would do the stuff, but then he would pummel the audience. It was like a boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

It was literally like a meditative thing for the other. I said, holy shit. I'm going to listen to this podcast. That's very nice, Rob. But that is what we all know. We can cut all that out. That was the influence with me. David wants to make an edit now. No, just anything about Dana we're going to take out. Pumbala, pumbala, pumbala. Rob, when we were at, I think those four shows. I just got to use the restroom real quick. I'm just sorry. I said, can I use the restroom real quick? Yeah, yeah. Just wanted to. Yeah, go through the back room. Dana, you started standing. Oh. Rob's going to go away. We don't have to stop it. We can just wait, right? Keep going.

Oh, we keep going? He's so weird. Ross is in the restroom. I know. That's really smart. Talk about deuce bigelow. What does that mean? He's taking a two. Like he's going to unload? Yeah, he's got a chopper. He's in the unload chamber. There's a bathroom right here, too. Do you know that? That you don't have to go in the back bedroom? I just never knew if you knew. I guess, where did you go? I went to the very back. You're not going again. I just wanted to let you know, I'm taking a mirror in there so you can even see.

You can watch yourself. Audio only podcast. No, it's right by the grocery store. If you go through this hall, there's a little mini Ralph's. It's a pop-up.

You go through that. Sorry, Sarge. Hey, Sarge. Hey, Sarge. I got it. It's Casey Kasem. I got to do it. Hey, Sarge. Hey, Sarge. I have to get a new one, dude. We don't have that many runners. That's just a great runner. That's a great runner. You know what Nikki Glaser said about your set the other night? That you should do more of that Bill Gates bit. On the island? Yeah, it was funny. And do more Clinton.

Oh, you see those pictures? I got them for you. I was bailing because I was just doing concepts. I was bailing because a lot. They were so excited. The pictures and the videos I saw made it look like it was the best show ever. I did keep some of those pictures to send you. Well, you get a standing ovation, but to me that's not good enough. No, it's because I did Chopping Broccoli on the piano where I wrote Chopping Broccoli. Yes.

You did a standing ovation, but they found out that guy worked there. You came up and I knew on the way out, all I heard was roaring. Well, what happened was the other night, if we're still on, is that Dana came down to do the improv the other night and-

He's doing hosting a show coming up. So he's practicing. And does stand up in three years in a club. Three years in a club. They, we put him as a special guest and then I went after him, but went up great. Read some stuff off a notepad. Everyone was enchanted. Funny premises, big laughs, closes hard.

And then I went up, but everyone was like, psst, Dana Dan. Well, that's good if she liked that. I like the premise of Bill Gates on, you know, Epstein's Island being awkward. Hey, what are you doing here? I'm just like putting on sunscreen. We're going to go buy the pool you want to go. Hey guys, Rob is still in the bathroom.

And I know that's exciting news, but let's roll that videotape. Part two. Well, he's in the bathroom doing part one. If he does part two, we'll let you know. But right now I'm here to say that on Friday, part two of Rob Schneider's epic appearance on Fly on the Wall. After the bathroom. Let's look at a clip. Yeah.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.