Steve Martin and Martin Short
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it.

Hey, we're gonna introduce Steve and Marty right now, but I wanna say here's some acting tips for you at home if you don't do the masterclass. This is a quick one. When you're talking and you wanna act and you have to say a line like, "Hey, I think everyone's gonna go tonight, except for dad." You could do it that way, but it really helps if you have props. So you go like this, "Hey, I think everyone's going tonight, except dad." That's a good one. That was very acting. This one's good too. Solid. 10 out of 10. When you're shocked, David? Yeah. Are you telling me my son's gay?

Why are you mad about it? I don't know. And then this one's good. I don't know. Who knew there was such a mutating little mother? That's my Fauci. Steve Martin. Probably can't use the gay one. No, you can. It's funny. So Steve Martin, one of my all-time favorite of all time, comics and then all the movies he did.

we're just bam, bam, bam from the jerk to this. So many good ones, always solid, always humble, likes to stay out of the limelight.

out of the main event and Martin Short, who's very out there, very, I think they're a great combo because of that on Only Murders in the Building. They also do a standup tour, which I've seen is a fucking home run. They even do a joke about me in it. It's kind of flattering, right? Oh, really? They have a joke about you? I don't like jokes about me, yeah. Oh, funny. And I was in the audience like, what? And then everyone's like, ah.

ah, what a fucking burn, dude. And I'm like, oh, that's funny. You know, of course I go along with it. Great guy, send him, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah. Aren't I the asshole? Ha,

Anyway, great. Dana, you add, because I love these two guys. I'm going to add to Steve Martin, Martin Short, or as I think they should shorten the name, to Steve Martin Short, because every name is there. Boom. Steve Martin, you know, and Martin Short, I saw them both on television in the 70s. Martin Short, I thought, well, we look like we're in the same tribe. He does voices. He's cool. I was always in awe of him. And then, of course, Steve Martin was a huge...

Huge influence on me because he wouldn't do jokes. It was all rhythm. Excuse me. So I would say it was slightly nerve wracking to have both of your heroes on there, really. And now they are perfectly adjoined at the hip at this point of their career. And they act as incredible. They're such good friends.

And so I would say it was a thrill to have both of them on. Marty had one of the best years ever on Saturday Night Live. It's hosted a ton. And Steve Martin is just a force of nature in comedy in the last four years. You remember Steve Martin's albums? I remembered every goddamn line and I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to say, this was funny. It's not even questions. This was good. He used to sing and he'd go, grandpa.

bought a rubber okay so and that was his whole act was just non sequitur jumping around let me try that with this thing okay hold on and he'd finish playing and go this guy is good grandpa bought a rubber oh it's a remake yeah

Grandpa Bottle Rum. That was Steve Martin, the little jazzy thing. Homage. Yeah. Okay, guys, here they are. We don't waste your time anymore. These two geniuses. We want to be longer than the actual podcast. Our goal in the intros is that it's literally they have the cadence. People keep going. Okay. We have to, we don't get to the real thing. Say the guys, who's even on this one? They keep forgetting. All right, here they are. Go, go, go.

Okay, Greg, bye. Okay, Greg, fuck off. Got it. Let's start this damn interview. Yeah. Here we go. By the way, are we talking about something in particular or we're just having fun, right? We're just having fun and you can guide us into things. We'll ask you things and you can always answer or change the subject. It's a conversation. Pretend we're at Orso's chatting. Yeah.

By the way, it's Orso. Steve doesn't like this idea. It's Orso. It's Orso, singular? It's not Orso's with an S? Sorry. I was never invited. That's like Granny Clampett going to the cement pond. I thought it was Sorso's. There's an S on both sides. You could get takeout food. Is that Lorne's go-to place in New York still, Orso? Still Orso? I would say Orso.

Yes. It's very popular and really good and fun. And you meet where the elite meet to eat. Yes. Wow. So you're always writing, Steve. Yes. I just created that now. Uh-huh. Think of it as you were there when it happened. Have you ever been at Orso and saw someone and you were starstruck and were afraid to approach them?

Michael Caine, I'll just throw out a couple thoughts. Well, Michael Caine, I know. That doesn't work. Yeah. Regis. I know. You know everybody. You said Martin knew John Lennon. Is that true? I would not go up for that. No, no, no, no.

to John Lennon. I would not go up to John Lennon. No. I knew I had an evening once with George Harrison, but not John Lennon. Never met John. Oh, I know. And Steve and I actually know Paul. You do. Well, George was always so languorous. You do a good George Harrison, Marty. Yeah. Do you do a specific Harrison different from Lennon?

Because they're both kind of trebly. No, I mean, I can't do voices. I do like three voices. I'm not you. No one's you. I don't know about that. Thank you. It's true. My heroes. Steve has a line in our show after I do this impersonation story. And Steve says. I'll do it. I'll do it to you. I say, Marty, I have to compliment you because you do something I don't. No, no. Sometimes you're entertaining.

And then I say, no, no, you do impressions. You do impressions and I don't do impressions because I don't need to. When did the put down motif come into your guys' relationship and or your act? Because it is really funny. Well, I noticed when I first met Marty that

He would do it naturally. And it was part of his humor. And, you know, it's a it's a way of I assume it's a way of saying I love you. Marty is the master of that by making you feel badly about who you are. Yeah. And and so I kind of got wind of it and I liked it because it's it's that old thing that the wall of irony that keeps you from hugging.

Yes. What is a classic? Like you said to Jimmy Fallon, you're the best late night show to go to sleep to. It's that kind of turn. Yeah. You know? Well, listen, I grew up in an Irish Catholic sarcastic family, so that was the norm, you know? I grew up in a warm, loving family. Marty, who met who first and who went up to who first? I briefly met Steve backstage of the new show.

in the middle of a new show. And I was going to Catherine O'Hara's dressing room, who was also in the new show. This was Lauren's prime time mini SNL of 1984, probably. Spin-off. And I briefly met Steve, and you smiled, but you were getting a change. You were focused. And the next time I met him was I went to his house in July of 85 to pick up a script for Three Amigos. Whoa. Whoa.

Fucking three amigos. And did you have to audition for him? And he hadn't been invited. That's what's also great. Just knock on the door. I did not audition, but I was not the first request, you know. I told Marty when I gave him the script, I said, now here's your script. And when you read it and you come across Rick Moranis' name, just cross it out. Yeah.

Read it and take the third funniest part. That's yours. Is it satisfying to you guys that that movie has gotten shinier and brighter as time's gone on? I mean, it was a hit. Say it. It was a flop. It was a flop. No, it was. I didn't know that. That's what you're thinking. That's what you're thinking. Okay, I confess. It bombed horribly, I have to say. Hey, how are you?

They don't. It did fine, but it wasn't like I kept thinking, oh, this is going to kill him. And it didn't kill him. And then and then about actually five years ago, I got a call from Empire magazine in England. It was a movie magazine. And I said, I said, I said, they said, we want to put you guys on the cover. And I said, why?

And they said, because it's the 25th anniversary of Three Amigos. And it broke even. And I thought, yeah. It finally broke even. And I thought, really? I didn't even know it was venerated, I guess.

Fuck yes. Oh my God. I grew up. Unreal. Unbelievable. I, I, I don't know how to describe those kinds of movies that don't get made anymore, but would, would silly be one of them or more overtly funny? I mean, there's something about, there's something about Steve and I were talking about this the other day that when we were promoting three amigos, we were on the today show and Brian Gumbel said to Steve, now, what would you say if people say this film is just silly? I,

And Chevy said, oh, by the way, I make $6 million a movie.

I could buy and sell this place or something like that. Oh my God. Chevy was on this Steve. And he was so, we love Chevy and you just never know what you're getting. And we definitely did not know what we were getting while we were getting it. And he was saying so many funny things. I wish we filmed it because he was pretty crazy and he was going after me and Dana the whole time. And, but I thought it was hysterical.

Truly, no offense, Marty, one of the funniest people I ever met. Offstage, I'm talking. It's funny onstage, but offscreen, he was hilarious. He is hilarious. I can't even tell you the stuff. Here's a Chevy story. We were at

This is 1989, and it's the AFI tribute to Gregory Peck. And there's all these tables, you know, and Gregory Peck is getting honored. And we're all excited. And my wife, Nancy, and I go with the chases. And at one point, Charlton Heston gets up and says, I guess you could say, Greg, that I've been one lucky guy. And Chevy, without looking up from his stake, screams, I'll say.

And, you know, Heston gets thrown and he looks around, you know. Another Chevy story is, you know, Marty used to throw an annual Christmas party at his house, invite all his friends. And the deal was that everybody had to get up and do something. And sometimes, you know, people would prepare. They wouldn't prepare. They'd sing a song. And I worked on a banjo song for a year. All right. Auld Lang Syne, as a matter of fact. I worked on it for a year. And Chevy was there.

And I knew he had nothing. How did you know? And so I tell him, he doesn't even know. You just know. I don't know. So I do my thing and whatever. And then they call Chevy up and he starts off like this. He said, you have to forgive me. And I know he's ad-libbing this. You have to forgive me. I'm a little depressed tonight because I lost my entire family. Who would have thought a plane,

would land on a boat. He's a trip. He was very fun. Every single second was schtick. Spit takes, everything, very pornographic material, everything nonstop. By the way, Steve, I gave up on old anxiety about eight months in.

On the what? Guitar? Yeah, on the banjo. On the banjo? No, I'm kidding. Steve, do you detune on banjos? Because I detune on my guitar or detune or take the G string, make it an E. That's my latest toy. Do banjos detune? It goes to, you can play it in D. You can tune it to D. You can play in D. You can play in G. And I usually play a lot in what they call double C on the banjo.

the beautiful me a c a bouncy c steve i was watching marty i was watching uh steve at the troubadour 1976 it was on youtube yesterday and i was doing looking you up of course too much to talk about with you uh one of my all-time favorites of course of both you guys and uh you were talking about your banjo and you did a joke where you it's hard to see but you spreading your fingers and you're spreading them so far apart

And you go, I could go with an easy, tiny pinky chord up here, but I'm going for the fullest extension. So many jokes. Some of those old standups you do. I know we're jumping around, but obviously I was in the era of listening to your albums back and forth, knowing everything. I won't bore you with that, but knowing every line and it's sort of fun to hear it and not see it. I never saw you in person do standup when I was in Arizona. And then,

Seeing that troubadour was kind of funny because I remember the albums and hearing, you know, there's so many change-ups, so many throwaway jokes, gets physical fast, change-up again. I didn't really know. Now I know more about stand-up. I didn't know. It was hard to put your finger on why I liked it, but then there's so many layers to it, and it's so smart and thought out. It's great. Well, I think actually because I was kind of physical that the albums worked better

not seeing what was going on because it made you go, what's going on? Exactly. Because you'd fade away from the mic and go, more wine, you know, or just do things and I'd picture in my head, what is he doing? What's going on?

Well, if you listen to a Jerry Seinfeld record, you can just relax, just listen and be happy, and you never have to say what's going on. But that was an era where they didn't have HBO comedians, and it was all records. I think Jerry should do a vinyl album, because he has that voice you want to listen to, and you'd see him on the cover, and the title of the album would be, Paperclips, Why?

Sorry, we had to go there. Steve, one thing that's very cool about your career is the aesthetic. It seems like the album cover where you're blurry with the rabbit ears on is such a beautiful album. I mean, that picture, are you completely controlling all the artwork? I loved that picture because there's a...

There's a mystery to it. I've used it before on the cover of my book, too, Born Standing Up. I'll have to think of the name. The photographer's name was Bobby Klein. He actually traveled with me as a

What? A photographer? A man who takes pictures? More like a companion to do acupuncture. Oh, let's explore this. He did acupuncture. I'm sure he did. Oh, he did acupuncture, all right. Oh, don't worry about that. You might feel a little prick. Well, that's what he told me it was.

That's fine. Is it supposed to hurt like that? Is it not supposed to hurt? And he took that photo.

And I can't even describe the photo because it's almost, I'm there but not there at the same time. It's a ghost-like image. So cool. Yeah, they seem like. I'm being serious about it rather than being a funny cover. I know. I could talk about this all day. All day. I just like the idea. I like the idea, which I've never heard of. You're there, but you're not there. That like, it kind of blows my mind. Listen, you were there at the moment I said it.

Dreamlike. Here's an interesting connection for me personally. So I see Marty on SCTV.

completely blown away by his rhythms, his attitude. The one I really stood out for me because it went on so long, you doing Rob Williams in the studio and climbing up the ladder. And then Steve, the blue spot bit, you know, I saw you at the Berkeley Community Center at the height of that character you were playing, but the blue spot bit had no joke. It went on for five minutes. It's all about commitment and rhythm and,

And I won a comedy competition because I did a bit based on rhythm, and I'm sure it was completely influenced by you. It's called the blue spot bit. No, it was a single guy. What do you do? You work? You go to school or what? You know, I'm in college doing this, but it's interesting for me that my two favorites are

now are a comedy team at times you know it's sort of you know it's 40 years later they are and it makes sense to me because you guys just have this i don't know what you call it magic if marty do you want to talk about the blue spot bit or should i just continue talking to

I want to hear about the blue spot bit. Well, to me, the blue spot bit was just all about... Remember, I keep meaning to get to a lot of your work, but I'm so busy. You have no idea what I'm talking about. I love that you're calling it the blue spot bit. Like, I'm so excited. What is it called, Steve, in your world? Well, it's the blue spot bit, but it's...

It's a track. But it leads to Excuse Me. Oh, that's right. It was all about the arrogance. That's what just made me laugh so much. The arrogance of being insulted because you can't get a blue spot. You're trying to be... I'm trying to play a banjo song and I need a blue spot. I can't get a blue spot. You're talking to the lighting man. You have to build the anger and arrogance very slowly. First, it's really casual. Can I get a blue spot?

Could I get a blue spot? And then it just builds and builds and builds. And then you wait, don't you go red, blue or red? It doesn't matter. Do we have that spot? But the point is that since I'm on this podcast and kind of talking about myself and Marty, that arrogance runs through our comedy, I would say. Yes. It's a fun angle. Yes. Like, like, um,

Here's a typical joke we do, which is the same idea, where I say to Steve, Steve, can I just say what an honor it is for me to be standing on the stage? Let me just say, standing on a stage next to a man who's a comedian, a writer, a novelist, a playwright, and a legendary comedian. And I say, let me say what an honor it is for me to be standing next to the man who is standing next to that man.

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Could I just mention on this general topic, your titles of your shows? Because when I hear them, I go, well, they're all the greatest titles. Yeah, always has a good title. If I'd saved, I wouldn't be here. I think that was going to be one that you were going to use, Marty, for a Broadway show. That's right. Yeah. See us now because you won't later. Or you won't believe what they look like now. I mean, all this is so... That's the current...

One was going to be called Two for the Price of Three. You know, I don't always... What was the one we did? The Dukes of Funnytown? The Dukes of Funnytown is our next one, we think. The best show...

In the town right now? At the moment. The funniest show in town at the moment. But the Dukes of Funnytown you're going to use for the next whatever tour? Yeah, we're thinking of that. Will there be a song? Yeah, it's a good idea. The Dukes of Funnytown.

It's so hard to think of funny titles. You know, Steve, also, I love the title of your book, Number One is Walking, and just how inside that is and how funny it is. They call on a movie, they call the first person in the call sheet number one. And all day, no matter what you're doing, there's someone next to you going, number one is 10-100, number one is walking, number one's going to this trailer. And they just try, it's so annoying.

And it's just so funny to see that. Explain that, why you chose that. I'll tell you why. Because I had an anecdote about it. And it's that, you know, the first time I did a movie and I heard like the jerk and I'd hear number one is walking. Oh, that's so embarrassing. Yeah.

to do that. And then you do your fourth or fifth movie and you hear number one is walking. Now you're kind of used to it. And now you're going, wow, number one is walking. That was fantastic. And then I did a movie with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin and I heard number three is walking. Ha ha ha!

What? Oh, a dagger to the heart. Oh, that was it's complicated, right? Yes. Which is a brilliant. That's a movie that you can watch, you know, over and over again. It's a huge favorite. Even Marty gives it up on that one. But isn't it? No, no, no, no. You got to.

That's just one of those movies that works. It just works great. It's complicated, as mentioned in the new Kelly Clarkson song called I Hate Love. I saw that you do a solo on that. I play banjo on it. And it's a really good record. And it's one of those lyrics that's very direct. Like, I hate love and names names. Yeah. Yeah.

There's no metaphors. Hmm. Well, can I just ask you very quickly? Cause I'm just interested in like when you write your so-called writing your songs on the banjo, is that just from fiddling around literally for hours? Do you record them on an iPhone initially rough drafts or how do you record? I'll find a little piece. By the way, I know this is not that you can cut this out. Cause well, yeah,

We will. They're not even they're not even recording. Yeah, they've already stopped on an iPhone, you know. And once you get going in your into your process, no one's record. And by the way, I'll keep going. Sometimes I'll do a video of my hands on the deck so I can remember how I got to that note or something.

okay and so marty uh go on yeah over this side of the zoom do you record things if you think of a bit or something something creative do you record it on your phone and keep these memos of ideas yourself because i do i would i yeah i i do that immediately i send myself emails or texts all day i do the exact same thing yeah subject hilarious it's brilliant

The only problem with Marty is when he sends himself a text, I hear him, the text comes in and he goes, who's this? Early onset dementia is something that can happen to anybody. There's nothing to be ashamed about it. Do I know a Martin Short? Is anyone here in Mensa?

So what, okay, these are general questions I have. What's Mensa? I auditioned for Mensa. Mensa is the society of geniuses. Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone is in Mensa. Yeah. And David Spade. I always think it's based on your IQ and you get in like 140, 138 or something like that. Ooh, just missed it. When I hear people with high IQs, I go, yeah, but what have you done lately?

Well, at least you hold no bitterness. Do you know your IQ? I don't. I have no idea. You only know it if it's high, I think.

I just wanted to ask you guys this question. I don't have to force it in. No one's bragging about an 81. Go ahead, David. If I'm coming up as a comedian and there's Richard Pryor and George Carlin and there's you guys and Robin Williams and these are big, big influences, who were like when you were...

Like, who was it? Was it Danny Kaye? I don't want to. Was it was it Arbuckle Flip Wilson or was it contemporary? I used to be able to Danny Kaye's face. This is his whole act. Marty just made a face that looks just like Danny Kaye.

I want to go back to Mensa. Not many people are doing it. All right, let's go back to Mensa. I want to go for one second because I had a joke and I thought this is going to kill him. It was in the show and it didn't work at all. And the joke was Marty's IQ is off the charts today.

It's that low. Yeah. Nothing. Marty. Well, it's like a joke. It's like a joke. Gene Bayless would have done in 58 somewhere on the Catskills. Anyway, my my biggest influence, I'd say, is Jack Benny. But I loved Jerry Lewis. I think Marty loved Jerry Lewis. Yeah. And Laurel and Hardy. I loved and Lenny Bruce. I loved.

I was just reading some of his jokes. Were you an Abbott and Costello fan as well, Meets Frankenstein? As a kid, I was. But I wouldn't say that I was influenced. Listen, my favorite was Abbott and Costello. In fact, I loved Abbott and Costello Meets Frankenstein so much. But my first play that I wrote was called The Prehistoric Horror.

And it was about a monster that comes back to life. And it was just ripped off from Abbott and Costello meets Frankenstein and Jonathan winners and Jonathan. Oh, right, right, right. Jonathan, we did a joke on our show that actually inspired by Abbott and Costello their lives. Because I said, I love I love working with Martin Short because he understands the concept of 60 40.

I don't know what happened. Costello did. Cause, uh, uh, Abbott, when they first got together, insisted on taking 60% cause he was the bigger star.

And then when Costello became the bigger star, he got even with him by he was going to take 60%. I know someone who I think Bobby Slayton has the original screenplay or one of the original screenplays. And apparently he said that it would just say A and C ad lib. There'd be the lines of the other actors.

And they would, you just wonder why certain things pop, you know, in a movie, there was a spontaneity there. It kind of made sense to me that I'll do this. You do that. You come in, you know, I don't know. That's what it's so, it's so unfortunate. And I, I think Laurel and Hardy got along well and they never had falling out, but Abbott and Costello did have a funny, it's too bad. Cause they had all this timing and then they can't see each other off the screen.

Oh, they were that angry? Yeah, but they should have gone 50-50, and then they wouldn't have fought. It's always about money. It's true. Do you guys go 50-50? Yeah, what's the splits? What's the breakdown? And after tax, what do you take per gig? It's a weird compromise. Steve still has to be on top, so he takes 52 to my 48. No. It's always 50-50. It has to be. 50-50.

Let me ask you a question. When you guys are on, you're going to have great shows all the time. Once in a while for all of us, we get a tired audience, a dead audience. It's not really happening. Do you call audibles in your show? Like, let's go to this bit or you just keep smiling and.

plow through the only thing uh we do spontaneously is nothing so sometimes if we're playing a casino uh you know when you finish your show a third of the audience gets up to leave not realizing there's an encore so we would we would just cut the encore and wave goodbye

Yeah, that's as wild and free as we get. But that's the only time that ever happens for you. Don't the casinos scare you a little bit? Because I was playing a big casino with Dennis Miller and 10 minutes before we came out and the theater was dead empty.

And Dennis goes, Christ sakes, Carvey, are we three dog night now all of a sudden here? But it was because they were all drinking and then they pour in two minutes to go. But Dennis is, you know, he's supernaturally funny. Do a little more Dennis. I could listen to impressions all day. Okay, Carvey, you got the big cats on the pod, huh? Bringing in the Martin guy.

Steve, Steve Martin Short should be a singular name. That's how close these cats are. These guys are looking at, you know, 12, 14 large each year. You know, they've got a castle in Spain, you know, the the lake house, North Ontario, Kirby, honest to God, you know, I'm just hanging in here.

I'm hanging by a thread, Carm. I got a couple nickels in my pocket, but, you know, never made the big score, but it would have been kind of nice, I think. But, you know, I do know that.

When we're done, I want you to call me and just do that. Half hour. My IQ goes up, or my vocabulary goes up when I do Dennis. Right. You just saw Dennis and Carolyn. We saw the James Taylor and Santa Barbara Bowl last week. Is that bowl a great place to play? How many seasons? It's fantastic. About 4,600 maybe. It's nice. How many?

4600s? Yeah, something like that. It's fantastic. Would you shoot your next special there? Are you going to do another televised special? You know, early on in our duo career, we would have guests come on our show. So we had David Letterman in Texas. Who else did we have? Coleman?

Conan came on. Billy came on in Santa Barbara Bowl. That's what I was getting to. And it was so beautiful because Billy is all throw.

And there's a section where we chat and he got up when it was planned, you know, to do some of Sammy Davis Jr., which he does really well. And he was silhouetted against the spotlight. And so I'm seeing this outline, a shadow outline. And it was just beautiful because he would adopt the posture of Sammy Davis Jr. And, you know, the head bowed and the hat. It was just beautiful.

The jaw, everything. Yeah. And then Marty got up. Yeah. I don't remember this part of the story. Yeah, Marty. I said, why can't you be more like Billy Crystal? I said. That's true. Or maybe I thought it. That's what I thought. No, I think you thought it. Yeah. You know, Steve, this is David. You know...

I heard that you played the Universal Amphitheater in the old days and you had the Blues Brothers open. Is that hard to follow? That's absolutely true. What a fucking show that would be, my God. And I was in the audience. No way. No way. Wow. 1978. Could not be cooler. You're good with dates, Marty. You really have a photographic memory. You're really our Mary Lou Henner of this Zoom.

I've told this joke before, but it's true. I used to think, do I have H. Sam like Mary Lou? And then I couldn't remember Hannah. I'm just on the Zoom for Zoom candy. It's really about Dana. I'm just here for this. Look at that fucking hair today. It looks good. Guys, you all have a good head of hair, David. No, we'll talk about it. You are all very haired people.

I had bangs till I was 60 and then I decided to go back.

60s is not quite in the game. It's that thing of you can't have bangs. Lorne always said, I never went boyish. So he didn't have to worry about aging out of boyishness. But what does a boyish person do when they're at this kind of age? Okay, I'm way past 60. Not quite at seven decades, but I'm creeping up the ladder there. Well, Mickey...

You work with Mickey. Didn't Mickey try to stay young for a long time? Mickey Rooney. I was the number one star in the world. Hear me? Bang. The world. Sorry, that's what he said every day, every 45 minutes down the hallway. Number one star. But Mickey was 62 when I worked with him. He had an incredible amount of energy.

And he was very, very bitter. And he lived to 95. So bitterness won't kill you. Paul Schaefer told me that during that show, he heard Mickey on the phone screaming to one of his kids, you want to do your own thing? You know what I call it? Your own broke thing. I know Carl Reiner directed him in one of his later movies. He said, I just hated him. Oh.

It was me, him and Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane's first job, my first job. And with Mickey Rooney and Scatman Carruthers in Rockefeller Center, sixth floor. Well, wait a second. When did, am I confusing the Paul Schaefer when he worked with him? I don't know when he worked with him. Would it have been after one of the boys? Oh, it was a year at the top in the 70s. Listen, a lot of your stories aren't checking out.

Okay. See, he got flush. He was doing sugar babies on Broadway, getting 50,000 a week. And then the TV show, they're giving 50,000 a week and he'd been broke for decades. So he always carried like five grand with him, at least in cash. And he'd put it under my face and go, think I can afford lunch. That's what I do. Yeah.

When I was doing the producers, guys who were in that cast had just done The Wizard of Oz with Roseanne as the witch and Mickey as the wizard. And they were on tour. And one night, Mickey kind of went blank near the end when he's sending them back to Kansas. And he says, and you, Dorothy.

And you, Tin Man. And you, Scarecrow. And you... He looks at the line and he just goes...

the bear i'm trying to think of a i have a scatman crothers story oh good i want to hear it but i'm trying to think of uh you know when i was a kid i mean i'm 12 and fat's domino was a a big star what was this big hit i'm blanking on it it's like that's not not uh it's not the twist

Not to twist. No, that's Chubby Checker. Ain't it something? Ain't it a shame? Got it. There was a record company called Tops Records. T-O-P-P-S. And what Tops Records did, if there was a hit

They'd go, ain't that a shame? And you go, oh, I'm going to go buy. And it's so much cheaper to buy the song from Topps Records. And then you take it home and it's Scatman Crothers and Not Fat's Domino. So you'd think you'd be buying, you know, Don't Walk Away, Renee by so-and-so, but it'd be by somebody else. That'd all be covers.

And so that's my story. Well, my, my scatman story, I think I've told it, but Jesus, that that's your story. There's more to it, right? It's my life story. Thank God. Thank God. I thank God me hosting Kimmel got canceled. Yeah. Saving that one. You are advocating for the strike. Yeah.

Steve was going to be, I was going to, I was going to guest host for Jimmy and Steve was going to come on this summer. If there wasn't a strike. Yes. I see. And what, what happened with the strike? Yeah. What's going on? Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Can you believe it ended quickly? We have three different endings. Can you believe it's still going? Aren't you glad it ended?

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You know, I like, Dana, that at the 40th anniversary that, A, we all got to be there, but I like, Steve, that you did King Tut even if it was just quickly. Well, I look at that, I'm so embarrassed by it because, you know, I wore my glasses.

Oh, during King Tut? I didn't really get into it, so I sort of put on the outfit and went like this a little bit. But I got my glasses on and I thought, well, maybe it's working in sort of the bad version.

Rather than really committing. Right. How hard on are you on yourself? Both of you guys in terms of any like I all have podcast regret. Like later today, I shouldn't have said that. Why was I interrupting? You know, are you guys hard on yourselves? Marty loves himself. That's what my therapist told me. Be like Marty.

I'm more critical, but it's not that I'm not critical. I know we do a good job. I don't think that you just kind of. Yeah, I don't know why. I think you need that, Marty. Well, I'm just not as hard as my I, you know, my tendency is to over prepare for things, do the best I can. And then when it doesn't work out, I kind of go, well, you know.

I don't beat myself up. I don't beat myself up. No, I don't beat myself up. But we worry things. We work on it. We certainly both work. I mean, Steve is very conscientious. And if we do a talk show, we're talking about a month in advance. And that's why he's...

Well, I think we all know when something really works where there's no second guessing at all, like that was a home run. And you just want to feel that as much as possible. But 80% can be good, too. I was going to about Steve and talk shows. Flydini just popped into my head.

A couple hours ago, I said, OK, that's an example of who else would do that, who would commit to it. How did you think of pulling things out of your crotch on the show? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. It's not too long a story. But I was talking to Carl Reiner one time and he said, I just came back from Paris and I saw the Folly Berger show and there was a comedian.

who came out and he, he, the curtains open and he's a little man and he's standing next to a table with 500 dinner plates on it. And I, he said, I'm thinking, what is this act? And so the little man starts singing. It's hard to do on a podcast. He goes, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da

Then he picks up a plate and he goes, da-da-da, da-da, and breaks it over his head. And he goes through the song and breaks the 500 dinner plates over his head. That's the show.

And I thought that to me sounds really funny. I need five minutes because people would call me and say, you know, I just come off this stand up career that I didn't even do anymore. And I didn't have five minutes. So I thought I thought of Flydini because it came from an old magic thing where, you know, a magician would come out with a top hat and it produced a million things from the top hat. And I just said, what if it came out of my fly? We.

We thought of doing it in our show, but the preparation is so elaborate. You know, I'd have to come in at noon. Didn't it take you five weeks to prep that? Oh, I did it. I went down. I took it down to the Magic Castle to work it. Then I went to Atlantic City to work. Took a lot of practice. Before, where did you do it, Carson? I thought I'd do it in our show, but I can't get ready. He did it last week or so of Carson.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember flighting, but he requested it. But you made, you guys made me work hard on panel because it was a, or as people know, talk shows because always funny, always solid. And I don't think people realize how much goes into it. And so every time I would do it, I would at least really try, even if it didn't always work, but it is definitely a different muscle.

Yeah, you guys extenuated the art form. I mean, Charles Grodin also did kind of something very, very unique and extremely fun. Oh, my God, yes. And Bob Einstein, too. Yes, yes. My fantasy is to go on a talk show and have nothing prepared. I think I could do it. I think I could do it. I'm sure you could.

It wouldn't be any good. I mean, look how good I am right now. Yeah. You tell that one story about the thing. But no one thinks anything is prepared. So when you ask a normal person, I like when you go on Ellen and you were talking about your car accident. I go, why do you think she asked me about my dog and then a car accident? And then if I saw a bird recently.

I always liked the... It's coincidence. She was really good at it. I think somebody, I can't remember

It was maybe Jay literally go, someone was telling me that you just, you know, like, yeah, you're a publicist. Yeah, my publicist. Would Carson really say a little birdie told me? Or is that just something that impressionists made up? Or did he actually go, a little birdie told me that you're trying to buy a new car? You know, would we say a little birdie told me? Might have said that, but I don't know.

I don't associate with them. Bertie was like Rona Barrett. He might have been the one who said, someone told me that you went to France recently. That's the funniest SNL of all, when you're playing Carson Confused and you say to Ed,

Phil, you say to Ed, now, Ed, people say that we were once hotter and more on top of it than we are. And it's something like that. And he says, yes, peaked in the 70s. Yes. Phil made Phil was just a laugh button as Ed McMahon. Like, I could just go on as Johnny and just be where you're at home watching a television and laughing.

Just dust your job there, you know. We're getting old, sir. Old reference, lost on younger viewers. Because it was some reference to the...

World War II or something. But what do you guys think Carson's, you know, he's been talked about so much, but for you as guests, destroying, I mean, the Betty Davis one is famous on YouTube, you know. What do you think his thing was? And you knew him too, outside the show. I was telling Marty I have an epitaph for him, for his tombstone. It would say, here lies Martin Short and his references no one got anymore.

Well, Betty Dave, I run out of them. I can't. You can't do Cary Grant anymore. No, you can't. You can't do Clark Gable.

One time, Paul Letterman, like it was last year, and he said, you know, but Paul, and we have a big movie star. Paul, who do you think is a big movie star? And Paul was discombobulated, and he was thinking, ah, Clark Gable. And he goes, Clark Gable. Clark Gable. That's as current as you're going, Paul. Whose impersonation that you do that is the newest that the kids would get?

That the new newest, you know, like I'm still the only ones you can really do are the political ones. Biden. And I just have a new Trump where what if Trump went woke? Let's hear that. You got to be able to say anybody should be able to say they're gay. I don't care if you're three, four years old. You say it. You say it proud. I've got to tell you, we're going to be doing a lot of things. We're going to have a very diverse cabinet that I can promise you that I could tell you.

And we know how to do it and we're going to do it. And they can't stop us. That's what they're saying. And they know he is just the greatest that not really saying anything. He never runs into a ditch. He's always like, we're going to do it. We got to do it. And they said, we can't, but we know how to do it. And many people are doing, you're going to see it soon and you're going to be happy.

He's an amazing jazz artist that way. It is that kind of New Yorker Regis voice. It's Queens. It's Regis and Brando in specific, but Regis is another guy who I just honest to God. I just feel happy when I'm doing impressions. Cause I love it. Oh, there's a,

I love being with Regis. And when I do this and you're very nice, honest to God, you're some of the funniest people America's ever produced. There they are. The great Canadian, Martin Short, who could beat him. And Steve Martin, it's just, I smile every time I see him. There was such a charm to Regis. Oh, he was so lovely. And we used to go to dinners with he and Joy. Mm-hmm.

At Fiorello's. Tell us, you know, tell him about the New Year's party you went to at his house. Oh, no, no, no. I was going to a party, a dinner party at your house, but he was having a New Year's party. And so I thought we would get there like five to seven. And the doorbell rings. He doesn't have his jacket on. He says, you're five minutes early. Where are you going next? He knew. He was just fun and lovely. Yeah, he was. Yeah.

Just a great, great guy. And authentic. I saw him on the Joey Bishop show. Jesus. Yes, I did too. It was a television show and he was Regis and Joey was always putting him down. Yes. Always. You know, like being snide. And Regis showed him. Who was the other guest? Mannix?

Something like that. Regis was a crooner, you know, and so on the Joey Bishop show, for whatever reason, he got up and sang a couple songs and someone at some record company gave Regis a deal. Like, we want to make an album with you, Regis. So Regis went in to tell Joey Bishop, could you believe it? They want to do a thing with me? And Regis is telling me the story. And so Joey Bishop just said to him, that's not true. That never happened. No, you don't have a record deal.

Just his ego was so tweaked. Yeah. I can't do a Joey Bishop. No kidding. No kidding. Yeah. And Eddie Bishop, that motherfucker. We should, Marty, we should have more bitterness. Yeah. We should work on that.

Well, what you guys, I refer to you guys a lot as like, why I'm still going. Cause now I see you guys on top of your game. I mean, it is kind of cool. Right. I was gonna, you know, the show only murders in the building, like this great hit show all of a sudden. And you're touring. I mean, you're kind of on fire or what, what's going on. We were always touring for a long time, but the show is again, you know,

co-created, created by Steve. You mean the murders in the building, but that has only murders in the building, a little heat on us, but we know heat is a transitory. That was one of Lauren's big thing. The minute you're hot, you can feel yourself being less hot. I know. I can, I think I can share this Tom Hanks story. It's his story. It was like the eighties.

And he was doing Letterman, as a matter of fact. And Tony Randall was on the show, too. And Tony Randall came up to him and said, you're very hot right now. You're very hot. And Tom Hanks is courteous. Well, thank you. Then Tony said, it doesn't last. With a little sing song. Yeah.

Yeah, I like Tony Randall. I liked him a lot. Yeah. Yeah. He was a big Letterman guy, right? Tony Randall. Tony Randall. Should we talk a little bit about SNL and your guys' relationship with it? You know, Martin Short, I don't know if we talked about it when you were on, but just the sort of all-star year you had with Billy and everybody. Yeah.

It's an outlier sort of one year with that cast, crushed it, and then dissipated. You've been asked about that, I'm sure, but it's something we haven't really talked about on this SNL-themed podcast. Yeah, right. Well, we had... Hold on, I'm getting... Steve's giving you your jokes. Uh-oh. No, no, we had a one-year contract, Billy and Chris and myself.

and harry uh and maybe rich hall harry sheer richard and we all had won your contracts and i you know to me i was i still have a pro and con list of doing snl of why i should do it and why i shouldn't do it you know uh but it was an intense year and i always wish that i'd been committed a little longer so i would have

you know, because I was treating like every night, every show was a special and how much was I in it. And, you know, I never really relaxed throughout the year. And when you come back and guest host, you seem like the most relaxed person. Well, yeah, then, then it's just kind of okay. And I've done a lot of cameos, not where I just show up for the air show. They're always funny. Oh, that's nice. Wow. All the energy goes right to the thing. Um, so Steve, uh,

There's too much to say about you. You're 15 hosting or whatever you are. 18. You might have been 16. I think it's 16. But, you know, I go back to, you know, 76. I saw them. I think I saw all of them. Alec Baldwin did his 16 hostings or 17 in like two years. Like.

He was my third show. His first show is my third show. So yeah, he was probably 90 was his first one. I think Alec Baldwin was great on the show. He does voices. That's characters. He's funny. Perfect. Perfect. When he came in as a full blown movie star, you know, obviously incredibly handsome, uh,

And just rehearsing. Are you talking about me right now? This was about David. No, no, no. Oh, Alec Baldwin. Sorry. And, and, uh, no one would have ever said this to me. We were just in a rehearsal and go, I go, well, how are you doing? He's had all these movie offers. Oh, I don't want to do those. I want to do this.

And he had done a bunch of movies. He's on his path to movies. It's so interesting. And then he goes on, and he's this brilliant sketch player and incredibly funny. That's what's fantastic. Yeah, that was the twist. It's like, oh, he really knows how to do this. Our last hosting, Marty and I did. Well, it was the only time we ever hosted together, really. It was last Christmas. And it went over well. We were very happy with it, and the monologue played great.

And I said to Marty, you know, Marty, you know, that was a good, that was a hit. That was good. And they might, because it was a hit, ask us to do it again next year. And before, if and when they ask, and before you say yes, just remember, we worked on our monologue for three years. That's true. Highest rated show of the year, Dana.

I think we read that or Lauren told us. I think Merti told me. And then Steve and Marty come in and it's like the highest rated show of the year. And then it's that thing where you say, so...

What have we learned? Do you guys have favorite Lauren quotes? Cause he's famous on the podcast. He's, he's beloved even cast members who may have had some dysfunction on the show or left it a little early as time goes on, love Lauren. And really a lot of people wish they'd stayed longer, you know, cause of just, but anyway, he's an enigmatic character. He's the one and only Lauren Michaels and you two are two of his very, very best friends.

So what's the inside scoop? I just think of Lorne. I remember going to his apartment in May of 84 to discuss Three Amigos. 88. But also to discuss, you know, the possibility of what if he went back to SNL and what if I also did, went back, even though I did. And finally I said, well, Lorne, how would, I don't understand, how would I...

do another season of SNL and shoot a Western. And you said, it's called scheduling. It's been very, very Lauren. God, if you'd gone on, we could have been on the show together, Marty. If you've been on, that would have been Lauren has a, you know, he, he, he, he can be effortless with any type of person, whether you're comedians, he can be effortless with up,

big business people. He knows how to get along with them and talk to them. I wouldn't, you know, well, the qualities that he has that lends itself to the job that he has is that he has so many gears and he has an incredibly hard spastic laugh. Cause you would think of him as the image of being erudite, but as a laugher,

He's like, when he laughs, it's hard. It's really a thrill to make him laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think of him as a very joyful person. I do too. Yeah. Yeah. I think he loves, yeah, he loves his life. And it's such a great life. And being introduced to it, the house on Long Island, his incredible apartment, and, you know, Paul Simon's your best friend. I mean, it was just seemed amazing.

Like a magic. He taught me so much about life. I mean, I'm in the 70s, late 70s. And he'd say, hey, we're going to Venice. Would you like to go? And I go, why? Well, it's a vacation. Well, vacation. So anyway, I end up going and then and I'm and I'm enjoying myself. And then we go to lunch on the canal in Venice.

The lunch lasts, you know, two and a half hours. And I thought, I would have never done this in my life. I would eat at 20 minutes and be out the door. And here, this is so much fun, just sitting here talking and laughing. And he introduced me to

Being sociable. Oh, so is it because of Lauren that you're so like really loose now? Mr. Casual. Dana, I have a question for these guys. I know we got to wrap it up soon, but I having a fucking blast. Steve, I have to ask. I think I'm guessing you both were close or knew John Candy and in planes, trains, planes.

You know, John Candy's beloved forever and ever. One of the greats. I think you'll agree. Yeah. When planes trains, does that come written funny and written for you too? Or is one of you guys attached? And first of all, the script was fantastic. It was written by John Hughes. Supposedly he wrote it over a weekend.

And when I got the script, I think it was 152 pages long and a normal script is maybe 110 or 112. So I said to him, "God, the script's so good, John, congratulations. What are you going to cut?" And he said, "Cut?

And the first draft of the film came in at four and a half hours. Wow. But anyway, then he encouraged John and I to ad lib. And like, there's a lot of ad lib scenes, like in the motel room, we're kind of giggling and laughing. And then some jokes we just made up, like those aren't pillows was made up on the set. That's kind of the, that's the line of the big trailer line. Yeah. Those aren't pillows. He was, he was so sweet and we got along so great.

In fact, we made a deal at some point about three weeks in, we said we'd ad lib a scene and then they'd have to cover the ad lib. A scene that might take an hour was now starting to take three hours. We said, we made a deal, no more ad libbing. We're not going to ad lib anymore. But he would make me laugh so much. He would do a gladiator movie.

like an Italian dubbed gladiator movie where he would say the line in Italian and then his lips would keep moving like it was dubbed. Yeah, he was... Not done before they're queens in Turian. And then his lips would move. Anyway...

Yeah. No, John was, uh, John was an angel. I can still see John walk in this door right now. That's what a strong. And he had a great laugh. He loved to laugh. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That was a good face. His, uh, the pathos that he, in, uh, playing strains at automobile. Yeah. He really, that moment when at the end, I mean, he's world-class kind of silent film, uh,

Absolutely. It was just a great act. There was a scene in the movie that took place at the end that was trimmed down. It's where he tells me his wife, I don't want to do spoilers, but it's 40 years later. You're okay. It's on Amazon. You can order it. But anyway, I was two feet across from him doing the off screen. I thought, I'm seeing one of the great performances I've ever seen.

with his speech. I got to be there. Yeah. That's why SCTV had such an all-star, superstar... Who was your gang there? I mean, it was...

Like Andrea Martin, Gene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Dave Thomas, Joe Flaherty, Rick Moranis. Damn. That's back when you could do a show with only seven people. You don't need 30. That's true. Eugene Levy is now doing a travel show. It's really fun. Is it true that he just never wanted to travel? But go ahead. That whole group is astounding. You can't believe that it all happened.

And every one of the, well, the SCTV or the. Andrea Martin, you know, is in our season three. She plays Steve's love interest.

What about Marion Strobner? There's someone else who's a guest star. Meryl Stripman. Meryl Stripman, yes, yes, yes. From out of Africa with Redford. Yeah, yeah. So you've got Andrea Martin coming out in season three, August 8th. Only Meryl's in the building. Meryl Stripman. Meryl Stripman. Pete...

Rudler? Pete Rudler? No, Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd. Okay. Yeah. I'm not good with the names. I think it's Paul Ruddman. Paul Ruddman. Tina Faisting. Yeah. Oh, she's on. Tina. Yeah. Tina. Tina Faisting is great. What is, I should know, but what is Selena's last name? Gomez. Gunther. Selena Gunther. Selena Gunther.

Glickman. Glickstein. Wait a minute. Jiminy Glick? Can we have five seconds of Jiminy Glick? I mean, that character is awesome. I'm so excited to be with you three, who I don't really recognize. I love when he went to the whispery kind of high part. Yeah, when it's incredibly cutting. So he couldn't hear anymore.

I'm a nibbler, Dana, and I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up. They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but-

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Honey roasted.

Sea salt and vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah, look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, yeah.

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

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So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today. You know, the first time David Spade jumping around was on Johnny Carson. I was on. Oh, that's right. That's right. I did my first stand-up. You know what I mean about his memory? It's uncanny.

I couldn't tell you who I was on with. Well, because I'm more open to people and things. Steve. Did I mention Ellen Reddy? Is that who was on with you? When I was on, Steve, it was two months before he quit and retired, quit. And I got my six minutes together.

And when I went out there, Jim McCauley, I've told this story, but Jim McCauley was the booker. I used Steve. You might remember him. Maybe you didn't deal with him, but for us, uh, new guys. And he goes, you go out there, you do your jokes. There's a little dot. You say it and you get the fuck out of there. And I go, well, what if Johnny says, come over? Cause I heard something. He goes, he's not just turn around and come back to me like a puppy. Right? So I go, by the way, that was a myth.

I think maybe it happened once that Johnny invited somebody over and it got this legendary thing that you get invited over or not. It was always planned.

Always. Oh, see, I didn't know. I would. I knew if I was doing panel or not. I always knew that. Yeah. Johnny knew ahead of time when Drew Carey came over, he knew he was going to have him over. Well, I believe so. I mean, I'm just guessing from my experience, but it wasn't spontaneous like that because you had that material. Well, I think. Yeah, I think you would say, here's my act. And then you go, here's two extra jokes.

maybe in case you go over, like he has some card that gets to say, uh, you know, yeah, I heard you recently bought a new car. So, uh, so that's, I would believe that, uh, I, I was so new. I didn't know anything. I just knew that that was the rumor. And then, and then you also, once you sit down within five seconds, you get your own sitcom. So I thought, Oh, I guess that's what you want to do is get blown up. So I go up, do my stuff.

And I turned to leave and Johnny's there with Martin and Ed, I think. And, uh, one of you guys said, Oh, he's good. And, uh,

and have him come over and and then i just left and he goes johnny goes he's he's too nervous to look over he's not looking okay well and then i get backstage and jim mccauley goes what the fuck he wanted you to come over and i go you told me not to you told me to go back in the curtain i didn't want to get in trouble i guess i'm wrong then because you're uh you're giving evidence well i think martin was helping

Here's how great Johnny Carson was. And I'll give an example because I was on with Merv Griffin. By the way, he was the loveliest guy in the world, sweetheart guy, but didn't have the comic timing of Johnny Carson. So I'm a young comedian and I have one bit where I say, gee, I just bought a new car, a 65 Greyhound bus.

I put a new dog on the side. That's kind of the thing that goes on. That was going to be my panel. So he says, I hear you bought a new car. I said, yes, I just bought a new car. It's a 65 Greyhound bus. And he says, now why on earth?

Would you buy a 65 Greyhound bus? And I'm dead. You know, I can't say, well, I put a new dog on the side. You know, it's funny when I did my first one, I had a car bit. Martin, what were your favorite five jokes I did on that set when you were there?

No, when I was there, so Steve, I said, I said, I got it. It wasn't a joke, but it was like you were capturing a whole theme in a group because you kept saying, okay, who likes dating? That's right. Steve, I'd say my first joke is I got a new car. It's not really new. It's an old UPS truck. I got it so I can park wherever I want. That wasn't bad for being very new. And I think I did it. And Johnny told me later it was a real rib tickler.

A rib tickler? No, he didn't. But when he came backstage afterwards, he knocked on my door to say good job or something. And I had my shirt off. I was so scared. You know, I was changing. And then I had Pepto-Bismol in my hand. And he said, Pepto-Bismol, I don't touch this stuff anymore. He said some joke about it. And then he walked away. But very nice to come back and say good job. Yeah.

Yeah, that is nice. Very sweet. Didn't Johnny have a double blink and a double pencil tap?

As also an affirmation. You know, they cut Tim after the comedian. He do a double blink with his eyes and tap a couple of times. I don't know. Maybe I watch too much. Maybe. Maybe. Christ. Thanks, Kirby. One of you looks like the Zap Gruder film. They're looking at it. Okay. You know, so you guys, what's early on? What was the best compliment you ever got? Because I got a great compliment from Steve at one point.

And then a really nice email from Marty that was meant a lot to me. What did I say? You, yes, I remember very specifically. I was just ran into you in the hall. I had been doing Regis for a while and you just stopped me and you said, yeah, you're Regis. It's like at a genius level or something, something very, very nice. So I never forgot that. And Marty was such a kind man. You forgot it. After the 40th.

The Wayne and Garth sketch went really well, and you just sent me a very nice note about that. So you remember those things. So I just wonder, you guys, at various times in your career, someone... Like, I found out once, as an example, that Gene Kelly was a huge fan of mine.

when I was doing George Bush senior. That was weird. So you guys must've had stuff like that. Like I had one, I had one that's it's oblique, but I was doing the tonight show very early on. It was like 1973, something like that. And I'm in the makeup chair.

And, uh, the makeup, you know, in those days your makeup was like a inch. Yes. Crazy. Analog television, adjusting your air completely changed. Anyway. So the makeup guy said, um,

Jack Benny likes you. And I said, what? How do you know that? He says, well, he mentioned he was here in the chair last week and he mentioned you. I said, how does he even know who I am? Because I just really hadn't been around. But it was a real compliment. Really? Wow. That's surreal. He's my, you know, my hero. What was it? It just his timing and his. Oh,

His rhythm. I mean, he's brilliant. Yeah. I don't know. Timing. I don't even know what that is. I don't know. Just his jokes. Even if you listen to his old radio show, the jokes are still so funny. I mean, I try to repeat them and they don't land, but I won't go into it. Don't do it, Steve. Please. And they'll just cut it up. I know they will. I heard he was the least jealous comedian. Like if someone was killing Jack would be, isn't he great?

Isn't he wonderful? That was important that he, everybody on his show was really funny from Mel Blanc to Dennis Day. And he, I think he, I always read, he understood that it's his show. So if somebody else is getting laughs, that's fine. It's good for the show. Marty, did you ever have, did you ever meet Jerry? Well, you must've run into Jerry Lewis. No, I met, well, I met Elizabeth Taylor who said,

Oh, I'm a big Clifford freak. Clifford? He's a Clifford freak. The 10-year-old boy. Yeah. And then when I was introduced to Sinatra by Dinah Shore. Oh, boy. Now, Paul Schaefer maintains I made this up.

I've made this up, but I didn't. All right. But he's Paul says he doesn't speak in guys and dolls speak. You're making this up. But what Frank, when I said, Don, sure. I said, this is Marty. I know well of you and you're marvelous. I know well of you. Paul isn't buying. Oh, marvelous is never used enough anymore. I'm going to try to start using. I know well of you.

And your mom didn't say, I know well of you. That's out of guys and dolls. Steve, can you still do a balloon animal? Oh, I can't even blow them up. You don't even know how it is to blow up one of those balloons. It is hard. It takes lung power. When I was doing it, you know, finally, after night after night, I could blow them up. But they're not. Is that why they stretch them like that while they're talking? No.

That's a talent. Go ahead. When you're talking with the balloon, you kind of stretch it while you're talking, getting ready for the trick. Is that what you do that? But you know, that's not enough. You need, I couldn't even, if we had to do it today, it said, that'd love to see the balloon. I'll let it go. I can't. What about happy feet? Can you still do happy feet? You know, can you do content feet? I,

I could, but then I would die. I say don't. We do something similar at the end of our show. Oh, yeah, you do. We do a fail imitation. Yeah, you guys go crazy at the end of the show, physically. Tap a little. Yeah. All right, Dane, anything else? We got to let these guys go. They got a hard out.

Too bad it was at 10 minutes. If David and I hired you guys to write us a duo act, what are we talking about? A full hour act with me and David and you write it for us. What are we talking? Three million? We want some hits.

but we don't want to belabor it as like a last tour show. So you can do some hits. We want, David doesn't have to be that heavy in it. Zoom candy. I would like it the reverse. I, I was, I was thinking we should call John Mulaney. Yeah.

And tell him that his latest special was really bad to convince him to write for us. That his writing for himself is over. So why don't you transfer all that talent to us? It's a cruel thing to do.

It is cruel. It helps. But you guys should write for us. We need your young outlook. Oh, yeah. So when you guys go on the road, how do you get in and out of the theater and the hotel without people wanting you to sign specific plastic things? Things.

I have a joke I do in the show, which I love. I say, I love working with Marty. I love traveling, traveling around with Marty short, no paparazzi. There's always a few people, but sometimes we sign it. Sometimes we're in a hurry, you know, sometimes we wait. Yeah. Hi, how are you doing? They love waves. Uh,

they love waves in lieu of signing and making their picture worth $700. You know, when I followed you guys on the road somewhere, I think it was San Antonio, we did some, whatever, overlaps, but it does get me tired. You guys get tired on the road. It is hard. Even if you have it easy, it's still hard, you know? Well, I think the most we've done is four shows. In a row. Well, also there's two of us. If I were alone, I couldn't do it.

but the fact that there's two of us, you know, it, it makes it easier. He's on stage. Sometimes I'm on stage. He does 20 minutes on his own. I do 20 minutes on my own. Oh, it's cool. And we have each other to bounce off and commiserate with. And if it goes badly, it's a joke. You don't take it personally. So when you go back, you, you, you start normally Marty, and then you go back. How do you stay kind of ready backstage? You got 20 minutes backstage.

Um, no, uh, well, Steve does the first five minutes. Then I'd come out and then, and then he leaves and I do another 25. You're changing outfits and clothes and all staying. I'm just sitting with my banjo trying to warm up without annoying you. But two does help the energy. It is a solo for an hour and a half is. It's unbelievable. Having a partner. Hmm.

So, Steve, you've been very busy. You have a new audio book. Yeah, the audio book. With Adam Gopnik. Another funny title. Yeah. It was a year of we chatted, you know, and then it was edited down to like four hours, something like that. And Adam Gopnik is an old friend, highly skilled writer,

about so many things and intellectual really uh but with a charming gift in his writing and so we just you know did or not i got a call um from uh i want to say it's not patreon it's a sorry pushkin pushkin sorry yeah pushkin with malcolm gladwell and and uh somebody's like to do this audio book and i said yeah that sounds like fun you know yeah so it's so many

So many Steve's. Do you feel in a way because of show business and AI and the web and everything that you're busier in some ways or as busy as anybody in show business wants to be if they have a little bit of leverage because you can do audio books, you can do podcasting, you can do... That's true. It's insane the amount of

dispensaries for, I mean, so how many things are you doing, Marty? You're doing only murders in the building. I do only murders in the building. Touring. Shows. And solo shows and touring. Well, of course. And of course, who would ever forget my Lumiere in Beauty and the Beast this year. Oh, that's right. But beyond that, nothing. Guys, I don't know, but I have to go downstairs.

Excuse me? I have to leave. We only have one more question. What is the meaning of life, Steve? Oh, that's so easy. No, anyway. It's a movie. Also a documentary on Steve. There's a documentary on Steve on Apple TV later this year. That there is, yeah. It's that time of life.

The documentary time of your life. Time of your life. Anyway, well, I just want to say that's been a thrill, and thank you both for coming on our podcast. Thank you. We love your podcast. It's hysterical. Three of my favorites. We've loved you guys for too long. We really have. It's just a joy to watch the young kids. It's like having, and I mean this with love, it's like having Siegfried and Roy back. I want to know.

But we'll see you. We'll see you around campus. Enjoy yourself. Bye guys. This has been a podcast presentation of cadence 13. Please listen, then rate review and follow all episodes available now for free, wherever you get your podcast. No joke folks.

Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.