SUPERFLY #12 - Margot Robbie to Play Spade in Biopic??
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Toyota's national sales event is happening now, meaning it's a great time for a great deal on a dependable Toyota truck.

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You need that again. Do I? She goes, yeah. Oh, I see. I go. David, before we get started today on today's very special edition of Superfly, if I might say, we have got a show for you. I'm telling you. That's when the show is like. Anyway, in other news, George Soros, the billionaire, bought Odyssey, our parent company. So I wanted to just send him a.

a little note and read it here for George Soros. Okay. And I'll do it a little bit as a character just because. Sure. George Soros, I am honored and grateful that you are now the proud owner of

of our parent company, Odyssey Incorporated. That's nice. I hope you will find our podcasts, Fly on the Wall and Superfly, amusing. And may they always be a masculine podcast. George Soros, I'm going to leave you now because I know you are a busy man. That's it.

Do you know where that's from? I think it's from Godfather. Is it from Godfather? Yeah. Yeah. And I wasn't my best Luca Brasi. It should be more... I'm on the...

I'm honored and grateful that you are now the proud owner of our pet company, Odyssey Incorporated. I hope you will find our podcast a masculine podcast. George Soros, I'm going to leave you now because I know you're a busy man. Use either take, Greg. That was because masculine is where I got it.

Yes. And that's just kind of interesting. That's great. We got a new boss. We got a new boss. We'll get him to call in soon. Okay. So I lit the candle. Now I understand. I understand. You had quite a weekend. Let's just, we call this segment catching up with David. Yeah. Save all of our.

We walkie talkie, but in-person stuff is this. Yeah. So David, what happened? Couple things going on. Uh, I'm going to do another day on that movie. I, uh, I'm doing, and I'm going to tell you about next week. Cause I'll, I'll have more done under my belt. I didn't know you were doing a movie. I tell you that doing a couple of days on track of your, no, it's not, it's not the lead. So I don't care about it at all, but it is, uh,

It's something. Oh, it's time to say I was proud would be an understatement. You better be proud of me. And then I went to Houston to do a show for a charity. And the funny thing, it was, you know, obviously a couple of days after the eclipse, we had talked to Sarah Sherman about the eclipse and learned everything you could learn. And so when I go to Houston, I get a I get a Uber, you know, he's going to take me to Chili's or wherever.

So I get in. Nice. And just to be, I have nothing to talk about. So I go, hey, did the eclipse make it down here? You know, whatever. I don't know what I'm saying. And he goes, oh, yeah, the eclipse, it got dark. You know, and I go, oh, I guess that's how he sounded. I have to always say that. And he goes. I like it. It's a nondescript accent. It just separates my voice from his. You know who's talking. It's a foreign guy. And so he goes, you know, the sun goes here.

And the moon is here. I'm like, is he explaining an eclipse to me? I went to second grade. So I go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So far, he's completely correct. So far, he's fucking nailing it. And he's like, that's it. Now, also...

Now he's going like this. And the sun kind of goes like this. And I don't know which one's forward for him. But he goes, and so now he's getting a little wrong. He's like, it's going kind of like this. And the sun jumps around. And I go, okay, by the way, where are your hands? There's also a steering wheel. Because now they're both off. Now he's just like, and then there's the stars. And I'm back here. And he's like, oh, no. I'm like, just let's do the clips like this. I like those effects. Yeah. Oh.

And so that was that story. That's all. That was that story. Yeah. I got to keep them. I have a story. Go ahead. I have a story about, I got to learn Rosetta stone. I got it. I know it's our sponsor. I'm not, I have to, I have to learn better Spanish. I'm doing some work on my house and I have a lot of brilliant, incredibly great Spanish workers or probably from Mexico. Yeah.

So last week, the guys who were painting my house are so much fun. They laugh so hard that I had to go outside and go, I had to explain it to them. So I'm kind of like, but they didn't speak any English. I'm like, guys, cause I didn't want to, I didn't want to suppress them because they're laughing. I go, Hey guys, could you like, when you're laughing, I can't hear. And so could you just be quiet for like 20 more minutes and then you can really laugh. And the guy was looking at me literally like this, like,

Like Biden, basically. Yeah. And I think he thought he was in trouble. So I go, just 10 more minutes, and then you can be really loud. I'm doing a podcast over Zoom. And then they're like, what are you guys doing? He doesn't know anything. They don't know Zoom. I'm going to learn.

I'm going to learn. No, you know, I have, you're telling him a hard thing. If you know, broken English or broken Spanish, if he tried to tell you he was on a zoom, you wouldn't get it. I mean, it's just too complicated. Yeah. Mucho trabajo. Muy bien. You know, como esta? I mean, I have all the basics. Oh, more than I do. There's a,

Let me tell you, do you ever call a doctor to refill a prescription? Yeah. Okay. Is this a different bit? Well, I call... This is another bit. Okay. I call in every month for the same prescription. I won't say what it is. And the nurse who's so sweet always acts like it's the first time I've called. Remember, it's every 30 days. Yeah. And I'd like to order this. And she's like, oh...

You want to do what? Well, I want to order this prescription. I'm going to have to talk to the doctor. 30 days later, I call again. Hi, I'd like to order this prescription. Oh, you want to do what? You want to order a prescription? Yeah, the same one, same address, same number. Oh, I don't know where to send it. I'm going to have to talk to the doctor.

That's it. I do. I call in every three days and she goes, what do you need? And I go, there's a lot. Yeah. There's a lot of people around. I can't talk, but I'll just say this boy. And she goes, you need that again. Do I? She goes, yeah. Oh, I see. I go.

I said once, I go, could I get some scratch? She goes, oh, you want scratch? No, no problem. Sorry. It's all right. Well, what does boing, boing, boing, boing mean? Like you have a neck problem? No, I need boner pills. She got it. I got to pay more attention. Yeah, I was going. I know. And then you have to get the amount. Okay. So you'll have 80 milligrams every two days. I go, whatever's max.

Max! Or I should say, that's crazy. No, that's funny. I know. The last thing I'll tell you as I went to the UFC fight, it was a busy weekend. Oh, yeah. It sounds like a lie. I was really jumping around.

So I did, I go to UFC, which I do like. It was UFC 300. It was kind of a big one. So this is the one, it was kind of a hassle for Houston. Oh yeah, you saw it. So I go there, Dana, Dana White always like takes care, which if you ever wanted to come, he said, come whenever you want. So we got a, we have a fun row. We got Iron Mike Tyson in our row. We have, and it's good because you got a little space.

It sounds name dropping. I'm just going to read the list of who's there just because it makes it more fun. I'll try to do it. I'll try to impression if everyone was there. Yeah, we got better seats than being right in front because up here we can see all this stuff, you know. I almost told him to come on to promote that fight with Jake Paul because I want to say you better beat the shit out of him. No offense to Jake Paul, but Mike Tyson is a national hero and he better do not even punch back. Just let him beat the shit out of you. Those are my thoughts.

Right. I think Tyson, if Tyson is anywhere near Tyson, if he's 1%, he wins easily. If he's a half percent might be close. The only thing I think about 57 and combat sports, but I'm sure they got Mike all is just, you go in the first punch and then you throw out your back. Right. And also I think Jake will try to tire him out, you know, run around, make him get tired. Cause he's older. Um,

That is probably what he'll do. But if he if he's if he, quote, stands in trades in the center. Oh, yeah. Alpha Alpha style. He might he might go nighty night before he gets back to the hotel. You know, when I that that happened in this fight, I won't bore you with the whole fight. But it was very fun because our boy Dennis Miller is right here.

Dennis is at the fight with his kid, Holden. I saw him on camera. He looked great. He looked totally relaxed. He was in a great mood. And when Dennis is in a good mood, which is all the time when I see him, he's doing Dennis jokes, which are priceless. So Theo's here. Yes. And Jared Leto. And then Chris Pratt was there. You know who else is there? Vivek Ramza. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

I like to buy a vowel. You're all guys are all in the same row. The guy who ran for president. Yeah. He was there on the end of the road. I'm like, Vivic. I don't see him everywhere. So it's a rogues gal. Yeah. And miles teller. I'm just trying to remember this row, just the row. Cause they're all, people are peppered all over. So we have this and then there's the ring. And then right in front of me is Ted Sarandos, his kid, Tony. So of course I just make fun of him the whole time. Cause he's funny. And then, uh, Ari Emanuel and Dana. So, uh,

Jared Leto, who's super cool. He's with his brother and we all goof around. But between Theo here, Dennis here, and Spudly in the middle, and now we're doing it's fight, then we have intermission jokes. Fight, jokes. And we're all doing jokes. I couldn't have laughed harder. You would have loved it. It was so funny. What would Theo's joke be? I was trying to remember going, I'm going to tell Dane about this, but

Like Dennis just keeps mumbling things like, uh, for Christ's sakes. But if it gets any, it's, it's almost, uh, the last fight. And this fucking Chris Pratt has already made three new raccoon movies between the first and last. I go guardians of the galaxy. Got it. And then, uh, and then Theo, Theo, uh,

There was an Asian fight. There was two Asian girls, which to see women fight is not my favorite thing. It's so unnatural in the real world, and I don't want to see that. It's hard. That was a tough fight. And they're beating the shit out of each other. They're both great. So they're doing it, and then they got her in a hole, and I think she's about to choke out, and Theo goes, give her the password! I don't even know what he's talking about. So...

And then when these two guys are fighting, he goes, I think these guys go to law school together. That was one. And then when they were still fighting, he goes, is this about an HOA problem? Just all weird, all funny, because it's just all stupid. Yeah, I could see Dennis would be like, okay, we're up in row six. You know, you got the first class down there in row two or three, but that puts you back about 75K.

Dennis gets comped. Dennis did look, he got a nice single shot. The great. Oh, he did. I love it. I love it. Cause sometimes they show you inside and you don't know if it's outside, but, uh, they, they're popping around. If I was Dana White, I would just show everyone there because, uh,

I saw Hoyce Gracie, who's the first big Brazilian UFC fighter, like a legend walking on. He just walks by. We all say hi to him. He doesn't really know us, but we're like, oh man, you're the best. And then there's people over here, I remember. And then there's football players. There's just a ton of people that they should just keep showing. It's just fun because in the downtime, there's nothing to do. So they cut to fighters in the audience, blah,

Overall. Do you have a look? If the camera comes on you, do you kind of look up and do a little, what's up? You know, cameras on David Spade. You do that. Okay. Ready? Camera. Boom. And then I go like this. Like, as if you're going to fight. I look at the camera. What? What is it? And I go, deej, deej, deej, deej. Now that's one of them. That's one. So it's like, you're a fighter. I guess. Yeah. Here's the one. It's the octopus through the screen. So if they show you to fight like this. And what is that? That's an octopus goes to the screen.

Like you're an Aquarian. It's something. It's different. Josh T. Hamilton knew that. Could I get a couple tickets to the UFC? Yes. Yes. It's great. I've become a fan of the sport. I get the sport now. It's not just brutal things going on. There's so much strategy and athleticism. Yes. And you hear the grunting and groaning and coming. So, you know, when you're... So, Gaethje fights.

you know in hindsight maybe should have been last if don't be bored if you didn't see the fight this these two badasses get in there and at the end of the first round the guy does a backwards kick and kicks gaethje and breaks his nose right it's hard enough to be right there to hear that cracking then he gets up and he comes back and he's like birds you know you go he's out of it but he has to keep fighting because he's a monster and they don't and he's one of the hardest hitters out there so

Four more rounds of this. Yeah, he's tough. And he just... Every time he gets hit in the nose, we're like, oh my God, because you know it's hanging on by a thread. And he just keeps fighting. He won't go down, but he's getting beat up pretty bad. So the last 10 seconds, it's over. Obviously, Holloway won, the other guy. And then Holloway, you saw...

Did what you said about Tyson. He points to the middle of the ring and goes like, let's hammer it out. So they go. And he had won the fight. He had won the fight on the card. He won the fight. It's 10 seconds to go. You just run around and wave to the audience. Instead, he points at the thing. Meet me in the middle of the ring and we'll see who's the badass. With 10 seconds to go, they're swinging all out. You were there. Just full windmills.

And everyone freaked out and stood up like, oh my God, this is crazy. Because you know the guy with the broken nose is like, what are we doing? Do we need to do this? I mean, I would have been like, you won. We're all good. But he has to be tough and go, you're really going to do this to me? So windmill and he gets cracked again and he goes straight on his face with one second left in the whole fight. One second. He got a knockout and he fell. Where, folks? And then he's completely still. On his nose. On his nose.

Yes. And I mean, they what they say, it's it's a figure of speech. But Gaethje was bleeding so much. They said he's wearing a crimson mask. Yeah. Cryptic. Dennis Miller said wearing a crimson. After this round, he's going to say that. See you all.

Like her face is full of blood or that she's sort of orange. His hair is red. His hair was red by then. Oh, I see. He goes, Christ, after this round, he's coming out looking like Lucy Ball.

That joke only works if you think that she's got blood red follicles coming out of her skull. I hope Dennis is listening. Yeah, he's funny. So customarily when someone wins, it's that kind of a fight. You throw a Vicodin at a ring. So we did that. And then the guy's like, I would. And then he went out and we saw him later now. And then we saw him later and he was in a wheelchair. They're pushing around, but he did get up to do the, you know, the winner, the respectful thing, but,

Dude, I would have said, fuck it. I'm out. I got to go lay down. So that's it. Yeah. All right. Let's get to the headlines. The real headlines. Let's get ready to rumble. They don't say that anymore. They used to. Okay. And I heard he got $10,000 every time he said it. Now he says, it's time. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony.

which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, yeah.

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. You want to- So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today. You know Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Oh, yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which no time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older.

I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took a grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is Ola and hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, uh,

They have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curveball. I think they're going to know. What don't they have? The language you want. Yeah. And immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying?

I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Designed for long-term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

Is that when you learn a language and you learn to pronunciate the words in that language, you start to learn about the people who live there and speak that language. Sort of a subtle, intuitive way of integrating with the culture. A little different, yeah. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, Fly on the Wall listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off.

You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today. Let's read it for the people driving. This is an article says Chris Farley biopic in the works with Paul Walter Hauser in lead role. David comment. Um,

I had heard some whispers about this for a long time. I've run into this guy, Paul. He's a very nice guy. I think he's been wanting to do this for a while. I don't know how. I'm a little ambivalent about it. I don't know. I just know that

If Margot Robbie passes on playing me in the movie, we're going to wind up with Jojo Siwa. She plays you. Every role you lose, she's played. You would have been Barbie. I could have easily been Barbie. You could have been Barbie. You've got those Carrie Undergrass Underwood legs. I got Carrie Underwood legs. All right. In all seriousness, I wish him the best. I think it's great. I think one-offs and charisma are...

If it's very hard to get used to it in a film, I like even the last Elvis movie, the guy did incredible, but you never reach Elvis. It's impossible. The charisma of it, you know, but it was the best I'd seen. And, you know, but the same thing with Will Smith, when he played Muhammad Ali, he was absolutely fantastic. But the whole time you're going, but you can't do Muhammad Ali. So,

I wish this guy the best to do Chris Farley. There's so much stuff there. I don't know. I'll be curious. I don't know how you do that. You know, I don't know where you focus. I mean, they, they approached me to play you David Spade story. Well, I'm a little older and they go, you know, so, I mean, we've done some makeup tests. Are we going to do it? Can I capture you? I don't know. They can have you play me and then someone will have to play you.

And so the car broke down. That's me. And then they just cut away. Octopus. Anyway, what are your thoughts on this? Because you're Chris's right-hand man, or he was your right-hand man. Yes, I somehow turned into this. You guys are partners. De facto widow. You knew him best. I wish him well. Like you said, it's very hard to capture

the highs and lows and the greatness and the just pure likability and the innocence and everything that was great about him.

You know, it's the stuff between the lines. It's the way he would look at you when he was going to do a joke or the way he would go. He'd laugh insanely hard, like coming from someplace else. And I know he's laughing. Comedians will sometimes laugh at a comedian's joke just because the idea of someone trying to be funny is funny. And they're doing it for you.

yeah kind of like it's nice and then i don't know chris had so many uh sub rhythms and so many little like when he would do the honking one when he'd laugh so hard i don't i can't do it but you know that one where you go to like he's almost choking he's laughing so hard and he would and so anyway there's a meal to be had there he would give it up as a comedian and laugh if you said something funny he would laugh so hard and it was that's

That's one of the nicest things when comedians give it up and they don't just wait and then do their joke and laugh. So that I would, I would like, I would hope it doesn't just turn into about drugs. I just want it to be the whole thing because you could focus like this SNL movies, focus on the first SNL ever done. And I'd say that's, that's enough for one movie. So with how much he did, I would want it to be more upbeat. Hopefully.

If they did a biopic on me, it would be hardly anything about Saturday Night Live and focus on the movie Trapped in Paradise or something. Or Clean Slate. Yeah. I don't have much of a resume in the film department. But to your point, I think, Chris, the timeline of the last year or two on SNL into Tommy Boy is this period of time.

Where Chris was full Chris. And it's all there. And I would focus on that. Yeah. That's our two cents. Yeah. I think so. I agree. Call me crazy. That's what I would focus on. This is a story I pulled because I just thought it's not that much to talk about. But this pitcher who passed away, I didn't know he traded wives with his teammates.

When he was like, you know, 30 or something. So I read a little bit about this. If you don't know, if you don't know. So he has a, has a teammate with a cute wife and they all hang out a lot and they realize they like the other guy's wife. So they said, let's switch. And so they decided to switch whole families. So they switch kids.

And the animals. They switched kids and switched houses? Everything. Why isn't this a movie? This is so interesting. Is this a real story? I have to go. This might be the one that's like, there's no way. Write us on YouTube and tell us if this is real. Because I think it's real, but sometimes I fib.

for attention well it's like i have a new husband everything is new for about three months and then get you out of here you're nothing i never should have swapped for you i was attracted for about six weeks but you got a gas problem so get the fuck out of here

And that's the wife. That's the wife. Which wife? Who swapped. I don't know. It was just a voice and a character. You know. And then the kids are, you're my daddy. And then a week later, I hate you. I'm sure there's a whole. You're not my real dad. Let's do the move. I would think we could do the movie. Let's do the movie. We switch. And then they don't know we switch because we look the same.

Well, yes, actually. But to that, I went to the movies and the woman taking my ticket. I go to these 10 a.m. matinees. She goes, hey, and I had a baseball cap on. She goes, has anyone ever told you you look like David Spade?

Yeah. And I, here was my ad lib. I don't know if it's very good. I said only David Spade. Yeah, that's a good one. And she went, she went, she went, I know they don't know if it's you or me or we don't know movie theater in the middle of nowhere. So they thought it was impossible the day that I could be David Spade. So they just thought it was a funny rejoin your, I got the exact same thing going into the elevators at the airport. The guy behind me goes, Carby,

And I just go, and then I go, Hey man. So they don't think that you're a dick. I said, hi. I said, Oh, Hey man. Well, let's do it. Let's do a litmus test. You know, you come over to my house and you just go, you come in and you go, honey, I'm home. See if Paula goes, hi. Hi, Dana. She goes, you look older. And I go, no, I don't look older. I look younger. Older. She's like, no, you are much younger in real life. You're really rough.

Okay, next story. Soccer player Kaka. I like his name. Oh, did you go Kaka in your diapers? Is that how you say his name? Get out of here! You're filling up your diaper and get the fuck out! I wish I switched with Kaka. I don't want to do it in this voice. Go ahead. Kaka just got divorced. She said he was too perfect. So this is an interesting story.

Not riveting, but interesting. Oh, here she says, Kaka never betrayed me. He treated me well. He gave me a wonderful family, but I was not happy. Something was missing. The problem was he was too profound. Okay. Now this, this is just a marriage didn't work out, but yeah, if I were her, I wouldn't volunteer, volunteer this statement. I just would leave it at, we had

It just didn't work out. He's a great guy. It didn't work out. To say this makes her look bad, I think. Dana? Well, there's two. Okay, let's unpack this. Unpack it. We got all the time in the world. Is she saying this because she broke his heart and this was a way to bolster his ego? Oh. I'm leaving you. And the guy said, well, but my name is Kanka. How can you leave me? Because you're too perfect.

Oh, I'm happy now. I gave you two little tiny cacas. She goes, the kids? Well, I don't know what a guy with a name caca would sound like, so I did a nondescript accent again. This just in. I just Googled it. It's Spanish for poo-poo.

I was going to say that. His brother's name is Poo Poo and his sister's name is Fee Fee's and he's named Kaka. Hi, our kids are Kaka, Fee Fee's and Poo Poo. Her name is Pee Pee. She should have mentioned that. No, so we've turned this story into a mess. Are we losing listeners? Yes, I just saw the live charts and it's shooting down. But I don't know. I mean, I think she's... Listen, sometimes it doesn't work out.

And you don't know what to say, but she's probably saying it's not you. It's me. I've just won. I think that's basically, it's like to protect the ego. That's my thing. That's a nice thing to say. Next. Okay. Next. Next. Scrabble makes a story changed the game with less competitive, inclusive version to appeal to Gen Z. Ah, so I don't really get this. Does it, do they change the way you can spell a word?

I guess, you know, if you play Scrabble, like during the pandemic, I played Scrabble with my wife and she, she beat me like 78 out of 79 games. She'd come up with a 54 point triple word score. So it can hurt your feelings. It can ding your ego a little bit of your, your self-esteem when you're dominated that much. So I'm assuming less competitive, inclusive means, you know,

You're just not going to get your feelings as hurt. So it's a perfect Scrabble for today. I'm a grumpy old man. Kids are weak today. Maybe you can spell words pretty close or you can spell them phonetically. Yeah. So if it's an F sound, you don't have to put PH, you can put F. Right. Like Phoenix. If it was foreclosure.

You could spell it F-O-C-A-L-S-A-A-K-R. Foreclosure. Yeah, that's close enough, Brian. You got it. I know what you mean. That's a triple award score. Yeah, that's a thousand points. You can also decide what your points are. Okay, next story. And Monopoly, the new Monopoly game, you get Boardwalk.

free uh before you start playing is that true you inherited it's called netbo netbo monopoly it's called monopoly and i go i i want to i want to pick monopoly to play judd apatow's kid whatever one that is judd apatow that's apatow mr soros

All right. It's a little Bernie Bernstein, God rest his soul, creeping in. It's just a little daisily thing we do. Oh, Dana, I wanted to put you through this because, and then we'll get to more important issues. I want to see it. Coachella was last week, and Dana, you've heard about Coachella every week. I don't know that much. I haven't been there. Coachella.

They have all the bands. People just go there to hang out and do drugs, basically. My nightmare. 100,000 stinky people with lines of outhouses. And yeah, no, I don't like big crowds. Right. And there's, yeah, there's porta potties and there's bands and there's... Everyone basically goes there just to have fun and take pictures for Instagram. So here's a sketch I did. We're going to play it. And if you're watching at home and it doesn't play, that means...

someone pulled it off of youtube because it's not it'll be edited you'll hear this part but you won't see it yeah but here we go let's play the whole thing charlotte mckinney's in it oh jesus wow we can talk over it hey hi edna nicoccella yes sir okay just a couple quick questions um

How long are you going to be in here? Just three days. Okay. How many outfit changes do you have? About 32. Feels a little light, but that's up to you. Do you have a job you're going to get back to Monday? Absolutely not. Bit of a loser? Okay. Quick question. Is the wind going to be blowing like all the time? Because, you know, I'd rather it not be so windy. I'll mark down your preference. Okay. Back to what you're not doing. Do you have any special skills? Yeah. You know, I know how to Instagram pretty well. Is that it?

Yeah, well, isn't that kind of like a GED? Yeah, it's sort of like a year of DeVry, I would guess. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you, Coachella? Well, one time I had to wear my backup sunglasses because I forgot my cool ones. And my backup sunglasses are so shitty.

Oh, and then I got molested one time by a bouncer. Okay, so which one was the worst? Oh, the backup sunglasses. I hear you. I've had that happen. It's horrible. Okay, well, this is a bit personal, but what's the highest number of followers of someone you've had sex with at Coachella? I had sex with a guy who had like 28K. That is a lot of Ks. Okay, and what did he do? I think he was a DJ and a personal trainer.

And a rapper? Oh, and a William Morris agent. Sounds focused. And where did you have sex? At Port-A-Potty? I mean, where else would you do it? His hotel was like six miles away or something. I got it. I get it.

What bands are you looking forward to seeing? There's bands here? Yeah, there's going to be like 70. Oh, that's great. When did they have that? Oh, probably like 14 years ago. Oh, so if we get bored, we can just go watch the bands or something? I think that's the idea. If you run out of everything to do, maybe see a band. Also, that guy from Guns N' Roses, can you tell him in between sets to stop talking? Because I'd just rather him not. Les Blab from Axl. Hey, before you go in, would you want to buy some coupons for the Molly stand?

It's gluten-free this year, which is great. And if you buy a coupon, it's sort of a bonus. You get half off of all Moon Rocks until 5 p.m.

It's a lot cheaper if you buy it here. I'm just giving you a tip just between us girls. And there's an IV stand about 30 feet in. You hook it up and it just pumps a lot of self-esteem back into your body for when you're driving home and you're so embarrassed and it's three hours and you're like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Obviously nothing. I've been in Coachella for four days. No one's missed me at all. I haven't missed work. I haven't missed shit. My dog's probably dead and I want to blow my brains out. But let's go to In-N-Out. You know what I mean? In-N-Out's not really my thing.

Kind of on a diet. How long have you been on a diet? Since I was born. On a side note, they want me to ask, who would you vote for for president if the elections were right now? I think the Biebs. Biebs? Okay. If he somehow isn't running, who would it be?

I think that old guy, Colonel Sanders, he says Coachella is going to be free next year. Oh, yeah, I'm sure he did. That was Bernie Sanders back then. Can you promise that when you do see bands that you hold up your phone to block anyone near you and then overfilm the fuck out of it and Snapchat it and no one will ever fucking care and they'll hit your guts for it? Well, yeah, because I have to have a story. Yeah, that's right.

Lastly, how many times have you Snapchatted that filter of you with like a dog sticking your tongue out? That one, I don't know, maybe like a thousand. Well, keep it up. It does not get old. That was probably like nine years. Heather, how long ago was that? Nine years? No. What do you think? Roughly off top. We'll get back to you. That's why some of the jokes are a little stale, but it's kind of funny, right, Dan? It's funny. I mean, she played great. She played straight and then...

consistent, funny jokes. And then when you started swearing, you're fucking, you're a loser life and all that shit. It's a thing you could watch more than once. There's a lot of, a lot of patter in there. Yeah. A lot of back and forth. Okay. Thank you. That's it. And a lot of, uh, kind of roasting sort of that personality. Yeah. She was good. Shallowness of whatever. Charlotte. But yeah. Okay. Stuff it. Alex. 2018. 2016. Yeah.

So according to my calculations, that's 28 years ago. Seven, eight years. Okay, what's this? What am I watching? Is this yours, Dana? I don't know. Hi, guys. My name's Kendall. Huge fan. David, growing up, my brother and I used to fight like crazy, and we'd have to go to work with our parents and fight there and just embarrassing.

For them and for us. And when "Diggy Roberts" came out, that movie brought us together. Like, we enjoyed that movie so much and still do. Dana, you're so genuine and so funny and I love your guys' take on things. My question advice is how do you guys keep your creativity going? How do you not stay stagnant and keep so with it?

Yeah. I'm going to nominate that as the nicest message we've gotten. Yeah. The advice is smart. She pads it up front with nice things and then asks, that was an advice, our advice column, but I didn't see it coming, but I figured it out. Okay. So you go first. I mean, as far as me being sincere, I remember...

A lot of the time people would ask me that kind of thing. And then would they take a creative writing class or a creative seminar or some kind of self-help thing to unlock your inner creativity? Um,

To me, it was a fat joint and a bunch of stone high school kids. I don't know. I think just being playful and goofy, I would say stay up 36 hours, get really punchy, and then have your friends throw topics at you and see if you can come up with an interesting take. David, that's all I got. Yeah, I think we're lucky because most people have regular jobs not in the comedy world. So we're sort of always...

either out to do stand-up so we have to sort of think of things we have to look at the news and see if there's something to joke about and then there's just the fact that i hang out with people like you or people that i think are amusing and then we make each other laugh so that that does help it i think keeping everything light and keeping uh

that I don't know day to day. I mean, it's hard. It's hard because a lot of there's it's hard out there in the real world and busting your hump at work all day. So what was she saying? She seems like a very light person. No, I think she's saying how do you keep it light and creative and creative?

keep the creativity i would say that you know there is a little bit of the 10 000 hour thing like once you're you you're committed to comedy and like you said hanging out with comedians you kind of know that there's something funny and almost everything you know like i this isn't even something i would put in my act but it just made me laugh you've been in an elevator with a guy a stranger and he gets off on his floor and he turns and says see you later should i be worried you

Yeah, well, that's a good example. You ever had a guy say, see you later? Of someone taking a very mundane situation. It's not a killer. It's not a killer. Will that be? Yeah. But here's an example.

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Yeah, because it's such a nice ring. It's an unmarked thing, but then it says Blue Nile somewhere. Yeah. She goes, oh, you couldn't have. You wouldn't have spent that much. Oh, this has got to be a trick. This is too nice. Yeah, no. Right now, get 30% off. Select Lab Grown Diamonds on BlueNile.com. Plus, use code FLY, very important, to get $50 off your engagement ring purchase of $500 or more. What is it?

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It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Honey roasted.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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I just wrote down this is going to go on for weeks. We should cover it almost like the channel of Superfly Action News. Yeah, where we do a lot of Trump is going to trial. Yep. Yeah. Trump is going to trial in New York. This is different than the other ones. They're picking a jury.

For the Stormy Daniels, he had sex with her in a hotel room in 2006. 2011, In Touch magazine was going to give her 15K to spill the beans. Then they, Trump's fixer, Cohen, his lawyer, put the kibosh on that. Then she came out later. Then, allegedly...

Trump's fixer lawyer took out a mortgage on his home, paid her 130K to be quiet. She did an NDA, non-disclosure agreement. And now there's a trial about Trump paying back his lawyer and not saying anything.

you know, in the, on the check. What it was for. This is for play, playing off the ex porn star, Stormy Daniel, for the night in the hotel room. So, so keep a trap shut. That's what this check. So he didn't do that. In the memo. So,

He has to become president at this point because no one can keep track of the trials in the affidavit. He has to become president and his inaugural address will just be pardoning himself for the for the charge of inflating my assets in New York City. I thereby pardon.

Donald J. Trump. I pardon all of it. It's like three hours long. Seven hundred and twenty nine affidavits. The charges are in the thousands. I pardon every single one of them. That's what do you think about that? Give yourself a new start. Yeah. I mean, there's so many. The news is pretty confusing because there's so much going on everywhere. There's a trial. There's a war. There's

border crisis. There's a million things going on. So I'm trying to figure out which one to be worried about the most at all times. So I'm just constantly in a state of tight shoulders. But I don't know what to do. That's true. And how to make fun of it. Yeah. How to spin it all and joke about it all because it's my only way to survive it. It's all scary.

And I don't, and I, and it's, it's never been a time in my young years. I'm very young, but it's never been a time where I haven't been worried about so many things and so many things I have no control over. It's hard to separate it off. Hmm.

It's a little unsettling. I don't know if it's social media or just the times we're in, but I think a lot of people thought that Trump was so exhausting. We're going to do this and there, and he's calling people names and Nancy Pelosi, not a nice person. So then when Biden came in, everything's going to calm down.

Yeah, well, she's got a mouth on us. She swears like a sailor, this woman. And now it is it's like it's a little it's a little twisted. I mean, as far as Trump and this particular charge, I just thought that we kind of settled the idea that sex with a politician is a different lane.

Cause almost everybody FDR and a girlfriend JFK harvested basically Eastern Washington. And then Clinton, that whole thing, you know, where he goes,

He goes, I did not have sex with that woman. And if you play back the tape in slow motion, his finger is spelling, I am lying my ass off. So, and then he lied to the grand jury, but everyone understood. He's just trying to protect his family. So with this one night stand in a hotel room, 20 years ago, we're going to reorientate the American society, but yeah, I don't know. That's hard. That was a hot when there's a war. And listen,

He probably did do something wrong. That's that's it's more like if you look at the crime in the news every day and people are getting set free, you're like, this is what we focus on. Like, let's just how we get the people that are beating people with baseball bats like that's I'd rather start with that or do it all, but do it all. But yeah, this is a white collar crime. If he did, if he didn't.

earmark the ledger properly. It's more, there's no real victim victim. But as far as Rob, someone putting a gun in a guy's head and robbing his store, I'd focus on the violence first, but that's just me. I'm a nut. Right. I'm crazy like that too. When they, when I saw that video of the guy kicked the woman backwards down the stairs, I was like, good God, what are we doing? That's, that's terrifying to me. But is there any sadder news? What else do you got going?

I just have my popular demand. Biden itching his nose. People seem to like it. So I thought I'd do a part two. Sure. Let me back myself up a little bit. This is an earthquake, Biden, is it? No, it could be. There's one over here, too. Hey, Joe, it's an earthquake. Oh, it's hot. That's the way the world...

Seems all the time. Go ahead. This is him itching his nose and Barack Obama watching on television and kind of yelling at him to go faster.

So this is when President Biden, who is just, he's older and they're working him hard. Some days they have like 10 speeches. And at the end of the day, you could tell he's so tired and he kind of wanders off and he sits down and he itches his nose very slowly. This is a sequel. Too slow for Obama. Popular demand. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so people, where is everybody? Come on. I said what I was going to say.

And then he goes and he sits. All right. Let's see. Here it comes. He feels an itch. Now he's got to make a move. Faster, Joe. Joe, faster. It's Obama. Joe, faster. Come on. Joe, it's your nose. Joe, get to your nose. You got it, Joe. Joe. Joe, drop your index finger from your left nostril. Do it now.

Drop your... Joe, that was slower than the moon landing. Joe, drop it fast. Joe! Let gravity take over. He's happy. He got the itch. Well, look, I'm not in a... Let's just...

Let's just unpack this. I'm not in a television studio. I love it. I'm trying to think on my Zoom shot, what looks funniest? So I brought the finger up slowly from here. Out of frame. Right. I like this. Yeah. Yeah. Joe. Pastor Joe. Play along at home. Pastor Joe. Drop a. Joe. Come on. Obama's getting farther away. Joe. Joe.

I actually thought of doing Biden as Bob Ross, the painter. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to do some cheese over here. Yeah. Oh, and Ukraine. Ukraine.

Let's give him a tank. A tank over here? Just a little tank. A couple of bullets over here? Not too many, just a little tank. That's good. You can keep going with that one. That one's good. Well, yeah, that one you could kind of do policy stuff. We'll do a longer version next week. I like that one.

Yeah. All right. What else? Cause I got some, by the way, I did, I did see, this is all I got left for today. King Kong. I did see the movie with Godzilla. Cause you mentioned it. Yeah. And the funniest thing to me that there's like five monsters in the movie. There's a frozen one. There's Godzilla. There's King Kong. There's a flying one. Every single one.

when it would announce itself would open its mouth and scream. And if there must've been a hundred screams in that movie, it's like, here it comes. Buck. Well, the monster would echo way out. And after the hundredth time, it didn't scare me. I know. And all the other monsters can hear it. And then they know it's, it's like hearing it's time. They know they have to fight.

And I love that Godzilla on planet Earth is looking for a cozy lair, a place to just rest his head. You know where he sleeps? He goes, ah, the Roman Coliseum. Yeah. No, he sleeps. I think he sleeps in like Dodger Stadium. No, Giant Stadium he sleeps in, right?

Oh, I thought it was Roman Coliseum. Oh, you know, it might have been. It is similar. Let's go to the tape. I wasn't really paying attention. He was sleeping in something. Roman Coliseum. Roman Coliseum. Yeah. All right. Let's put a little missile in Ukraine. Just a couple. Yeah. There you go. Get some green tanks.

Yeah. The problem with zoom is that your hand is always a superstar. No, you go back here. Yeah. It's a green tank. Uh,

Okay, so I will tell you. I could do the guru better with these glasses because you can see my eyes more. Do you want to save the guru for next week? Everyone loved the guru. Yes, I just want to. Just here's a preview. That's the face. Just the eyes every day. Coming soon. Guess if I'm talking. You're giving away too much. I like that song.

You know, Biden could just let his hand. Now I've gotten officially punchy. No, you got punchy. OK, so I'm on Kill Tony this week. That podcast with David Tell, which is fun. Where is it? That's wherever YouTube is sold. It'll be YouTube. Kill Tony. OK, watch Kill Tony for free. Watch ours for free. And this comes out Friday. What are your dates? You want to. Oh, yeah, I'm coming up. I got Florida.

Clearwater. You can go to davidspade.com. I got Orlando. I've got some Vegas. So check it out. That's it. Thank you guys. Thank you, Dana. See you, David Spade. All right. Miss you, Dana. We'll talk in five. We'll talk in two minutes. Okay. Yeah. I'll call you right back. Okay. Bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey. Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it. Mm-hmm.