SUPERFLY #2 - Miley as Joe Dirt's Sister?
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's... Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony,

which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, yeah.

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today. I read about this too, and apparently she's from India. Afterwards, they found out and she goes, she went, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. We can cut that.

No, I love it. People like disorganized hair. That is bed head. And I last I heard the ladies like, you know, the what's the guy? The guy from the bear. Jeremy Allen White has curls and messy hair. And I hear it's all the rage, David. Well, first of all, the rain is doing a number on it.

Yeah, we started. We're starting with my hair. It's not rain. It's so flippy. Look at that, though, Dana. Well, first of all, I got distracted because you said rain. I don't understand. You mean the atmospheric river? Rain is kind of so 2013. You know what? No one cares when they have weather porn. Rain gets no views. You have to say atmospheric cloudburst or river or oceanic. Let's go for a drive. I hear places are flooding.

pineapple express i'm getting inside bitch that's what it is that's the pineapple express i know so anyway my hair look at this side dana i claim and i will go to the wall that's saying this is still blonde and it's fucking gray that hair it's so swoopy today god dang welcome to getting my zoom like a mirror i'm just like

Your hair is going to turn a lot blonder as your seventh decade approaches. Fuck off. Listen, here's the deal, Dana. We have the laughers in the garage this time, and I think it helps. But they're only going to laugh at the quality stuff.

The Professional Laughers Union sent us a nasty email. What are you doing? Do they have a break? Do they have dues? And do they have beverages? So we created a nice environment. They're in a secured location. And they're not laughing because they're paid to. They're laughing because they find it funny.

Right. That's the dream. I don't know. Is that what it is? You know, I have to tell you, Dana, this is our second podcast. And when I heard what we were getting for the podcast, I thought it was one episode. And then I realized we have two and then I realized we have a whole season. So it's not as much as I thought, actually. Right. We have a very good parent company. It went through bankruptcy and it's really good.

That might get trimmed. Let's hear about your weekend, Dana. I rarely have these Zoom stand-up dates for a company. Oh, interesting. But I had one late last night.

I went on at like 11 o'clock. So I'm standing in this room. Yeah. Yeah. Standing in this room like this. I'm standing up. What's up? I can't see or hear anybody. And I'm just doing jokes and stand up for like a half hour. Yeah.

God, I think I did one of those and it's tough. Comedy waterboarding. Actually, I had the CEO. Yeah. It's like you're drowning. You can't see anything. I had the CEO prompt me and he was great and kind of a cheerleader. Let's go, everybody. Come on. That's funny. You know, they. Oh, he made his constituents laugh. Yeah. Yeah. And dance and sing a lot of energy because they were going to get dinner after me.

And it was like 11 o'clock at night. So between a nice cocktail and a roast beef sandwich was me with my shenanigans. But I still crushed. Sometimes at the end of a corporate gig, they go after your eight hour meeting before you go get food. Everyone's like, and they go, we have a surprise. They go, oh, no, no, no, no, no. David's been like, yeah, that that that that that. And they go, fuck, they're counting on the seconds till they get their beef stew. And they're like, oh.

When you do these gigs, do you do impressions or straight stand up? Oh, I just know impressions are the best quick and fast. I just did a quick I started with Biden because the borders all the rage now is crazy for the border. So I did Biden three years ago. He's at a press conference. You know, Mr. President, do you have any idea of how you're going to handle the crisis at the border? And by his life, first of all, let's get our facts straight.

There's no crisis at the border. Come on. And he goes, how do you know, sir? He goes, because it says so on the piece of paper. Come on. They just handed me. It says on the paper.

Says the paper right there. I close. And then recently, everyone wants to close the border. Everyone's screaming. Biden's up there. I'll close the border harder than anyone's ever closed the border. I know how to close borders. Come on, Jack. But the press is like, but last time, get your facts straight. I'll beat you the hell out of you. Will you dog pace phony shoulder? Come on. Let's do some pushups. I'll close the border like nobody's ever closed it. The border, the border patrol, the border can't believe it's not butter. Yeah.

That's a good ending.

I got triple lock. Throw away the key. And now I do. Hunter is the only one who can understand his dad totally all the time. Hey, dad, what's up? Yeah. I'll go have dinner with you in time. Six 30. Seven. It is dad. I'll see you then. Don't get mad. Now I'm doing cheesecake factory. We ate that. We ate there last night. They could say Hunter is an interpreter and it would probably be

make more sense to give him money. Yes. I like, I have to say there, there's something about him. I don't think anyone's having more fun on the planet based on the videos and stuff. He's always, he's got a G string, a whip. He's naked. He just seems to really be killing it on the planet. I mean, he has a lot of fun. I know. I look at that and I'm like, I never put ice cream on my wiener. What am I doing wrong? This guy's living life.

And he's got girls naked everywhere. And he's just always in his underpants. I'm going, when does he get time to do art? How did you notice ice cream on the wiener? I don't know how many times you've seen these videos. You have to slow it down. Yeah. Toyota's national sales event is happening now, meaning it's a great time for a great deal on a dependable Toyota truck.

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from the Alaska flight. And you know, Dana, I looked up, which made me nervous because when I looked up the flight, when that door flew off, these people were dead silent. There's a video, everyone just quiet. I don't think I could contain it. First of all, the noise of my diarrhea flying out the window would have been a little noisy, but also I think that's free reign to wail on your call button in that situation. Hey, I don't want to be a pest.

Was there a door when I got on? Because I don't even look anymore, but I'm just, it's usually just given that there is a huge door that's shut. And then the people on the way back, they said they didn't even know what was happening. It was just so windy. They're like, this fucking blower, is it still going? There's my necklace. There's my baby. God damn, turn it off.

So when I get on now, I just take a, I think I recommend everyone have a little tire gun. You can get them on SkyMall. And then you go in. Right. And then when no one's looking, you just walk by the door and feel a bit. It's got a little give. Make it flush. Hit the wing while you're there.

I love that effect because it's a and that's the David Spade door. That was a good bit. I like the voice of the complaining person. Excuse me. Can we just it was like a little because it's so quiet. They're whispering. They're like, and and can I get a diet coke? Let me see. Thanks. Yeah, everything goes right out. I always assume the door is going to fly open. I always assume we're going to crash. So if it

Flew open, I'd be like, yep, got it. Yeah, me and Dennis Miller were the worst flyers. The worst flyers ever, me and Dennis Miller. Be like, Christ sakes, the door's gone, Carvey. All right.

I guess we didn't pay enough for Bob's Burgers and Plains is not going to secure the apparatus between us and the upper atmosphere. All right. Just made that up. Here's the thing. They found out later, David Spade. Yeah. That they didn't tighten the bolts. They got all the planes, all the 737 Max's from Boeing and checked them. The bolts weren't tightened.

So somewhere there were mechanics. There was a guy, hey, did you tighten the boat? Yeah, I tightened it. Did you go righty-tighty, lefty-loosey? No, sir. It's lefty-tighty, righty-loosey. Oh, my goodness, Clem. Get back on them boats. Right. It doesn't rhyme. That's the wrong one. I did it with this Phillips. It's righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. It's flathead. Right.

I'm going to start doing effects. We have a question from the laugh squad. What is it? Would you rather have the door fly off the plane or have that woman at diarrhea that was coming down the aisle? Oh, I'd much rather have the door fly off or the wings fall off. I don't play. Papa don't play diarrhea exploding on a plane. Don't play that.

Not my thing, not my job, not my deal. So you heard about my weekend. What about yours? Aside from my hair being on fucking Poof Patrol. God damn. I look like, is it Yosemite Sam? I need a fucking Dyson collab. Those don't work. I think they're sitting on their keys. I don't think they're laughing this hard. Are you guys watching TikTok? What's going on over there?

They're good laughers. They are good laughers. Okay, so here's what happened. They're good laughers. Okay. Your friend, Ted Sarandos, works at Netflix. He had a party, kind of like a Grammy. It's the only Grammy thing I did. And he had all comedians, all comedian dinner. Anyone, like a Netflix special. So it was super fun. And I know you couldn't go because you were invited, but it was like Ali Wong, Sebastian. Yes.

Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes, Arsenio, Bill Hader, Mulaney, Kimmel, Chappelle, Chris Rock, Fred Armisen. It was just so fun because everyone's just jammed on two tables, dinner party, drinks for an hour, laugh, laugh, laugh.

Sarah Silverman, Martin Lawrence. Man, it was just so packed. I'm not name dropping on purpose just to say all these comics are jammed in one dinner, which you never really get that or get to see them that much. And no one's going on. There's no cameras. There's no one interrupting you. So you're just laughing. Then we all sat down and ate. And then, you know, Ted Sarandos is going to be on Fly on the Wall. So in about two, three weeks. So yes, let's we're going to go through the whole we're going to break down the whole party with him because it was pretty fun.

to be honest, of course. And people say, so when you're with comics like that, is everyone funny? And I go, not, not, not really. Everyone's trying to be funny. They're just kind of quietly clever. Just the way everyone's talking. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Well, a comedian, a group full of comedians is not the best audience. I mean, you know, cause they're, you know how the rabbit gets out of the hat, you know? So anything that comes off pushy or jokey, uh,

Like I was I actually got the church dress on and drove to Ted Sarandos and I sat in my car and cried myself. That's the way I came back home because I thought, look, everybody, well, isn't that special? John Mulaney. Hey, Kimmel. So I came back home and I missed the party. Yeah, I have to say very few people were dressed as their characters.

Let me do that just for fans of the church late for a second. Well, well, well, all the jokesters in one little place, sipping their cocktails and telling tales of fornication and sexual jokes like ice cream on Hunter's wiener. Sorry, call back. You couldn't even think of a good clean word. Well, wiener is good for church late. Anyway, we call it the frozen boner.

Why is your church lady better than mine? I'm just doing an impression of yours. We like ourselves, don't we? We look at our wispy hair and touch it all the time, so our arms get sore. I do.

I do. I'm looking at my fucking swole. I know. We're looking at screens. It's a weird, it's not a normal thing. It's not like Johnny Carson was out there. Could I get a screen right up on my noggin? Could you put a little monitor on the desk so I could look at my noggin while I interview Jonathan Winters? So it's a little funny that way. The Grammy party was the night before the Grammys.

But on the actual Grammys, I don't have too much to say about the Grammys, but I don't know if you saw any of it. I thought it was actually pretty cool. I liked it. Oh, you did like it? Yeah. All right. The Grammys from last Sunday. Mm-hmm.

You know, it's Friday. Remember, did you see the one guy is Friday? The one guy that got carted away in handcuffs. Murder, murder, Mike. Was that was that his name? Mike, Mike, the murderer. And then he gets carted off. Why? And then and then auto theft got two Grammys and they handcuffed him after the show. I mean, these guys got to use. Yeah, I have to say you're Dan or something. Yeah. Oh, here we go. So there it is. Killer Mike handcuffed.

Don't make it that easy for the cops. Killer Mike. Come on. Just because Mikey. They go. Someone in there was involved in some illegal activities. They go. Was it Taylor Swift? No, I can't remember the name. Was it killer Mike? Yeah, it might've been him.

Was it strangulation, Steve? Yeah. Was it Ken the knifer? It said physical altercation. My sources told me Oprah, who's newly lean and strong, tackled Murder Mike. I don't know if that's true. During the break and Trevor Noah broke him up. Don't know if it's true. I hear stuff. I like how you bring in random people. Then Olivia Rodrigo put him in a leg lock.

Olivia Rodrigo. Yeah, they were talented. I did talk to Paul McCartney afterwards, you know, about the Grammys. What did he say? I can't believe you called me. First of all, I'm such a fan.

It's perfect for this, though. This would be hard to get out. You know, you're watching the Grammys. You know, everybody's doing great. You know, the chins are up. They're all sucked and tightened. And Oprah, you know, doing the Ozempic. I've got to say, she looks like a teenager. She's shrinking down. She looks like Tinkerbell. She's a tiny, tiny version of Oprah. You know, she's like getting so small, you know.

Because of the Ozempic. Works on your brain. Your brain's, you say I want a cookie like you. I'd like a cookie, please. If you're on Ozempic, your brain goes, I don't think so. Three, two, one. You don't want the cookie. Hypnotizes your brain. That's how it works. And I said, I got to go, Paul. Okay. Paul should be in an Ozempic commercial explaining it. Yeah. Oh, and he's like, oh, don't forget it was on the telly. That's a good English word.

The telly. Oh, yeah. We used to watch the telly. We watched Elvis. Elvis the Pelvis, they called him. And he'd strut around and jut his hips forward. And the girls would scream. And I called up John. And I said, in seven years, we're going to make him scream harder. Is that true? Is that the timeline? Yeah. Well, they became girl crazy teen idols.

The timeline would have been Elvis in 57. David, please, I can't explain all my jokes. I can't. You're not going to walk me through all of them. I understand. But I will say Miley looked great. I saw Miley at the Grammys. First of all, I have a huge... I'm crazy for Miley. I just had looked up her singing...

Look what you've done to my son with Melanie, who's an older singer who passed away. And they did a duet once on that old song. And she's so goddamn good. And then she also did, I think, Like a Prayer. I looked that up. She's so good. Anyway, she had a sweet kind of mullet last night that looks so cool. Yeah. Let's check it out. A little Barbarella. Look at that. Oh, no. Oh, wow. Yes. That's... Oh, someone...

Someone made that. Oh, really? Was she in Jodert? No, I actually was thinking, I was like, she'd be great as Jodert's sister if we ever did something with it. Oh, yeah. Because I can't find my sister. She could play that. But yeah, she also looks a little bit like Sigourney Weaver in, someone said that in Ghostbusters, you know, when she comes out of the fridge. She's got great cheekbones. She looks really fit, I have to say.

Unreal voice. She sang Flowers. Yeah. That's cool. Did you ever guest on Hannah Montana? No. Do you want to hear a funny story? It won't fit on this podcast. I thought we're only contracted for 30 minutes. Why give them stuff for free? Go ahead. The old showbiz show was next to

where she did Hannah Montana. And so we had an office right next to it. And so I, I didn't even know I was saying something that sounded dirty, but they go, you should go over there sometime and say hi, because we have shows next to each other. And they go. And so I came back from lunch and they go, we just over there. I go, yes, I finally stuck my head in Hannah Montana and no one was there.

And it sounded like dirty. Well, David, this is kind of weird. This is kind of weird because I was doing a show and I'm not making this up called Spoof. It was a pilot for Fox. I was there with Spike Fierston about everything was just commercials and coming attractions. And Hannah Montana was filming right next door to us as well. And they said, do you want to come by? And I said, I don't think so.

I would have dropped by. I didn't know. You should have gone and stuck your head in Hannah Montana. I would have said, hey, Hannah Montana, I'm from Montana. Get it? I'm a nibbler, Dana, and I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up.

They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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And her name is Griselda. But the funny thing is, you know what Sofia Viraga looks like. Let's look at Griselda, who she's playing. Do you have a picture of her? So this is kind of funny where you go, why poor thing? I don't understand what you're saying, Dana. Well, all because of the Ozempics. You could get rid of that. I mean, you need. Oh, she had so many. Two seconds. She had so many chins. She needs a bookmark to find a mouth.

It's a little joke. All right. I was trying to piece it together in my head. Okay. So this is the woman, Sophia. And I was thinking, why don't they just get someone that looks closer to this? Do you know what I'm saying? Without being mean, I can't say that this woman is unattractive, but I can't say that

Sophia Varaga is too attractive to play her. So I'm really sort of stuck here. But show Sophia. I mean, we know what she looks like. And so she has to really...

tone herself down. I mean, I wouldn't be like, there's our girl. To your point, this is a, I used to wear a lot of rubber on my face and prosthetics to become somebody else. So they're going to have to encase Sophia's head in rubber. And that's really how you get an Oscar. They're going to have to work that. Yeah. You would put a prosthetic under here.

You would cut her hair really short, widen the eyes, the mouth. Yeah, you can do it, but it will take 17 hours for every film day to run a cheese grater over her cheeks. No, but we can you pull up what's what she looks like in the movie when they went through all the stuff?

Oh, okay. God, she's got a square jaw. They did a really big jaw on her. It definitely hides her. I don't know if they get as close to, yeah. Looks like a Dick Tracy villain. Lantern jaw. Yeah, she's definitely that. No, but it looks like a full square face. So, did you deliver the package I asked you to deliver? Very good. Underlay, underlay. I'm not too much...

Undelay. Undelay. Oh, excuse me. Just a sec. I know we're just to keep rolling. Sophia. Yeah. Yeah. We're showing the picture. You look great. What? No, no. David made some jokes. Yep. No, don't call her. I'll talk to you later, Sophia. No, she just called me. It was a don't even pay attention to that. Ring, ring. Well, I think.

I think. Gazelga. Gazelga. Gazelga's calling, you know. Gazelga. Gazelga. I didn't mean the bookmark joke. You look great. And I'm sure the movie is going to be great. No, thanks for calling. No, David loves you. He was just joking. No, hang up on her. All right. Goodbye. Don't call me again. Don't call me again, President Biden. OK, this is an actress.

This one's, well, maybe we might get rid of this one. What is this woman's name? Because it has to do with cervical cancer, which is not the most hilarious topic. But this is just an odd story because this Bollywood actress, which I kept reading it going, they keep spelling Hollywood wrong. But I think Bollywood's a real place because after the 10th one, I go, I think they're doing it on purpose. So her name is Poon Tang. What is her name? What is it?

Puntang Lale Baba. Oh. Okay. She died with cervical cancer, and then three days later, she said, no, I didn't. So they said she passed away on Instagram. Wow. Her family...

confirmed it and then three days later she goes ta-da anyway no but it is serious cervical cancer is a bad thing and you should get checked out and everyone's like no but faking your own death and you know I read about this too and apparently she's from India afterwards they found out and she goes she went na na na na na na na na na we can cut that no I love it

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. Oh, geez. And then we went. I was. So my question to you, Dana. What is he doing? No, I like it. I like it. Is that. Does that make you mad or is that normal? I don't know how to take that. That situation. Like, are you allowed to be mad at that? No.

Well, or not. No, I would say the ones that frustrate me, I had a little pop, the ones that frustrate me who are, you know, because people want, they want clicks, right? They want views, they want attention. And then they're like on a cliff, hey, take it, wow.

So this is now the next level. Fake your own death. Because look, she trended globally, probably made a deal with Revlon or fakeyourowndeath.com, hired her as a spokesman. But it's all related to that gotta get clicks. So what is your take? Are you mad? For her loved ones, it's horrible. Well, especially her fans and everyone. And it's such a heavy thing.

to absorb. And then, but then she said, don't be mad at me, be mad at cervical cancer. And I'm like, no, I'm mad at you. I do. I really hate cancer, but right now you're winning. I am mad at you. I'll hate cancer again in a minute, but this is the first time something beat cancer that I was mad at. But,

To do that, I think it would fuck with people too hard. It's a little nasty. Yeah. To be honest. Yes. Serious opinion. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

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Yeah, because it's such a nice ring. It's an unmarked thing, but then it says Blue Nile somewhere. Yeah. She goes, oh, you couldn't have. You wouldn't have spent that much. Oh, this has got to be a trick. This is too nice. Yeah, no. Right now, get 30% off. Select Lab Grown Diamonds on BlueNile.com. Plus, use code FLY, very important, to get $50 off your engagement ring purchase of $500 or more. What is it?

That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. Okay, when you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role, obviously. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. Everyone knows LinkedIn, but LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team faster and for free. That's right. You need good people, Dana.

You do, David. And newsflash, LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else. Even those who aren't actively searching for a new job, it might be open to the perfect role. In a given month, David, check this out, write it down if you want to, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other leading job sites. So if you're not looking on LinkedIn,

You're looking in the wrong place. Well, because they get what they want from LinkedIn. So why look around? On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. That's one day according to my calculations. That's right. And LinkedIn knows that small businesses are wearing so many hats that might not have the time and or resources to hire. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They're constantly finding ways to make the process easier, even though it's easy already. Yeah.

They launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, make it even easier if you want to post something, you know. That's right. Quicker. 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Listen, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash candidates. That's LinkedIn.com slash candidates to post your job for free. As always, terms and conditions apply. Cut to Greg editing this.

Do you have a scissor effect? You're good at effects. No, I don't have a Trump. I just have this. I have little hands doing things. When you're in a tight Zoom, you're like this. I'm Trump. It's fantastic. You got to squeeze it in. They locked me in the closet. They locked me in the closet. I can't get out. And I'm in here. And I can't get out. That's Trump in coach. He doesn't have a lot of room. He's like, let me taste.

Let me tell you something. My hands are enormous. I don't care what they say. He puts his hand close to the zoom like this. You know, when you take wiener pictures, you got to do a lot of things. I'll explain later. That's two wieners. If you get to three winners, a viewer wins a prize. So I do my red, red Mickey joke. You got one? You got a new one?

Yeah, because I was just trying to think of some because I knew that someone might put it there. I'm red, redneck. I came home from school one day. I said, Mama, you drunk? She said, yeah. Jealous? Sorry. I forgot to say my own catchphrase. God damn, that's so funny.

I'm Red Redneckie the Redneck Comedian I'm Red Redneckie the Redneck Comedian I flunked kindergarten Then my daddy started putting a can of beer In my lunch pail I pass with flying colors Come and get some Come and get some You gotta do that Okay I'm jumping stories to Donna Kelsey Who is Donna Kelsey Dana quickly without looking Travis Kelsey's adopted sister No mom

That was a good one. Lovely woman. She has a new job. If she, she's working for Ziploc, she has a brand deal. She carries Ziploc around and then she gets paid. So when she gets her picture taken at the game or whatever. So I was wondering, would it be, I love it. I wonder if my mom would do that because I think, would you feel like you're making money off this whole thing with Taylor and Travis and all that? Because she's already obviously set, but,

It would be fun to get a brand deal. And what is her job called? Do we have that? Chief leftover officer. Chief leftover officer.

OK, that at the top of the resume. Here's my take on this. This is it's called Dana's take. It's a new it's a new is that nowadays if someone's famous, they can more easily spread it around and get people's deals. Like Elvis was lonely because he's the one I made all the money and Sonny Ray, his guitar player. Do you ever notice that Elvis, the whole band was really homely except for him?

Is he hired? Hired really? By design. But anyway, nowadays you can just throw a commercial. You, you, you, all your relatives can get deals. That's my point. All your relatives get deals. If you're big enough. Yeah. She's the mom. She got a deal. Yeah. Yeah. You brother, sister, everyone gets a deal. So I think it's a good block. It's your 23 and me and starts handing out deals.

You know what I want after last week's podcast, which really did well through the roof. I realized that I'd never met a Taylor Swift hater, you know, like really met one. Yeah. And so I ran into a guy at the gym and he had a T-shirt. I hate Taylor. So I said, well, why do you hate her? And he's just like, I just don't like anything about her. She just doesn't like this song. They just hate her.

And I go, but why? I mean, you don't have to listen to her songs. I know it's kids stand her face and just hate her. It makes all that money and everything. Do you think you're a little jealous? I don't care about that. It's hater. So I don't get it. Tell me. I mean, there are people out there that don't know why they just, I felt bad for the Grammys. Why hate? They're always there.

We don't hate her. She's great. I mean, I feel bad that she's always being looked at like, is she laughing? Is she smiling at this singer? Did she not stand up for them? Is she clapping along? I like when she sang along with Flowers with Miley. I'm like, that'd be so fun if you're a singer and there's Taylor Swift, the biggest star in the world, singing along to your song. I would love that. So I think she's very nice and tries to be nice. Just she can never...

do it right. But here's my theory. This is another hot take. It's called a Dana take. There's really, really hardly any Taylor Swift haters.

She has 300 million fans or a billion fans. There may be like 13 of them that really just actively have a lifestyle of hating her. I don't think there are people who hate her. I don't know why anyone would hate her. No, they just are angry. They just hate the biggest star or whoever it is. They get mad. People like you to be kind of successful, but let's not get crazy. And then they...

Try to go too far, too far. And then I'm not going to like where it's too much. And then they don't know the price that you pay for that kind of fame. I mean, you don't you really don't want that. You know, trust. I don't know the price. I have to get more fame. OK, so, Dana, thanks for coming and saying hi to me. It was fun. Thanks for thanks for having me on the David Spade podcast.

I can't believe I'm invited every week. I'm very honored. Come on. Superfly can go as long as it wants. Superfly can believe it's butter. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey. Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.