SUPERFLY #3 - Rack 'Em
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Homes.com knows that when it comes to home shopping, it's never just about the house or condo. It's about the home.

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We've done your homework. Yes! Because people, back in the day, you forget how many great songs Tom Petty has. And then he starts to... Well, she is an American girl. Now, Dana, welcome to Superfly. This is our third episode, as I'm screaming. And we wanted to thank everyone because...

Uh, they're watching on YouTube, which is new for us. YouTube's doing well. And then audio, you can always go to fly on the wall and it feeds you into some super fly back channel way to listen to it. So people have adjusted to what we look like because they've heard us for a while now. And then at first they went, oh my God. But then the brain acclimates. That's just how they look now. And everyone relaxed.

To call it a smash would not be an understatement. I mean, it's like an unbelievable smash hit, but that's fine. The first reaction is usually just gross when they see us. Then they say gross. And then they say,

And then they say, you guys look the same. Yes. You know, speaking of SNL, Dana, we don't really talk about this show, but a big story is Shane Gillis is going back. Shane, who's a fucking stud, who hilarious was on Fly on the Wall. If you want to listen to that, that was hilarious.

Very interesting. He was on for about six months ago. He was a little shell-shocked from the trauma of being fired, just being fired from Essendon. Of course. And he was playing, you know, clubs. He's a very sweet, extremely brilliant comedian. And now he plays, you know, I think he was, he did open for Usher. They just didn't show it. But I think he did do 20 minutes at the Super Bowl. And Usher was like, move him along! He was on one of the poles in the background. Yeah.

Or was he the guy they shot up in the air? See him shoot somebody up in the air. I don't know the pageantry, the whole thing. But before we go to that, yeah, that Shane going back, being on the show that fired him. That's I'm going to call it now. And I'm not the first one to coin it. Must see TV.

Yeah. I mean, Norm went back when he got fired. Norm MacDonald, who we're all buds with. And I thought that was interesting. But actually, Shane has blown up more than I mean, Norm had done great after he left, but it was nothing like going from selling out clubs and selling out big theaters like Shane is all around doing great. Big money coming in and big special.

and super cool. And sort of, uh, when someone called him the Taylor Swift for men, which is hysterical, like all guys like him, you know what I mean? He's like a guy's guy. He's big. He's, he's, he wears a t-shirt. He's just like a regular dude. And he just,

talks like dudes talk and, but it's very clever. Um, yeah, us as fellow comedians, you know, when you see Louis CK come up or, or norm or whatever, or David Spade, people who have a take on stuff you wouldn't think of. And Shane is the latest, greatest in that, that he's just,

doing it a little different than right before him. It is his moment. And he's sneakily incredibly likable. He has most comedians. I don't know if you have a laugh, but most comedians have a laugh that they do once in a while throughout their set. He just has a really charming one. Even if his bit is kind of edgy, he just wins you over. So I'm going to watch. That's my Chris rock has a laugh when he does his acting. Yeah. Yeah.

It actually can help a joke. Oh, I think it's your own soundtrack. Richard Pryor would have a kick the whole time. Kiss the man. Cosby had a laugh. Sorry, I didn't mind to bring him up. Jerry Seinfeld and Louis C.K., they'll just do it like every three to four minutes. And his monologue, Shane, I mean, I don't even know what you say. I mean, it's so funny. I just like I think I'm happy SNL.

Just said, took the hit and said, yeah, come back. You're too big of a star now. And it's actually sort of in the ether right now that he's doing well. And that's the kind of host they want. And so fuck it. What happened before? Just take it. Yeah, that's that's part of Lauren's sort of brilliance as a, you know, SNL. I mean, he is SNL. And you can see part of being on SNL is just reading the room and reading the moment.

And, you know, maybe someone in the room at Lauren's office said, I don't know. Oh, please. It's that thing of the, you call, he comes on the show. You have a mea culpa or whatever else culpas you want. Then you have a couple of culpa and you go to the, you go to like a really long party. We'll have it at Orso. Orso's again. Oh yeah. What do you want to, what else do you want to say? Do you want to tell you having thoughts about the Superbowl, even though it's been a week? I just think if, if,

Like Taylor Swift, again, really like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. Start with that. But I look at the skybox.

And I look at the glowing people in the skybox. I look at their cocktails. I look at their smiles. I look how young and fresh. They seem like the happiest thing of humanity. What party was invented that I never went to? And I've been to some pretty good parties. But when I look up there, I go, how do you get into that glowing kind of alternative universe skybox?

where everything is great, where you play Tokyo, a million fans. Oh, excuse me. Oh, no. They're like, yeah, Taylor Swift. I'm from Tokyo. Exactly. Be realistic. It's what they look. I'll do this and we can cut it. But it's one of my favorite bits. And I look, I just do a lot of accents. But I used to do all these accents around the world and where they came from.

And one of them was in Japan, where did that guttural accent come from? The sound of a Japanese accent. And that was because it's in a seismic zone. So they'd be sitting around and an earthquake would hit. And they'd be like, what? Are you shaking your fucking... What's an earthquake?

I didn't know it had an extra part to it. So I don't know. I mean, look. They tracked her plane. Was that funny? Or they tracked her plane?

All the way from Japan to make sure she made it. It was something fun to do. She's the Beatles of her generation. She's beautiful. Her lipstick is incredible. Never smudges. She's like the supernatural person on the planet. And then the boy toy is $6,570.

And they seem... They pack on the PDA. Do you know what that means when a couple packs on... Oh, fuck it. It is a little PDA-heavy. I didn't think of that, but yeah. Yeah, they're making out and swanders on... I mean, and again, I'm a fan, but it's like...

you know, can any relationship as a casual observer stay at a 10? He wins the Super Bowl. She's super, super. They're swaying and kissing and hugging and grabbing. Everyone's just looking in the wide shot. They're just like they're like supernatural beings. Where does it go from there? So what I wanted to do is introduce potential red flags that

For any couple. And that couple, which is our kind of royalty, Travis and Taylor. If he ever says this to you, Taylor, you know what's up? You got a smart mouth on you. That's a tell. Is that the beginning of trouble? I think that's a tell. Hey, hear my new song. Sorry, babe, but that lyric is just stupid.

That's a tell. Yeah. There's trouble in River City. They turn into a couple from Vanderpump Rules. Yes. Oh, no. You're going to cry again when you hear that. That's a red flag. Where were you? No. Come on, man. You're gone for two hours. Where were you? Red flag.

Don't you want to jump in here? No, I'm going to get I was thinking of something that Taylor will say to him. Oh, well, she would be like his red flags. Equal opportunity. Football. Honestly, boring. My last boyfriend. This is Taylor to Travis. My last boyfriend was so cool. He was so cute and hot.

That's it? Yeah. How about, when are you going to quit football and start DJing? That's where the money's at. You want to listen to my new song again? You need a makeover. Your whole look is just, you know, if you love it, you change. Kelsey says, Heather's making notes. Is it always red lipstick, even around the house?

Or do you think when they go to like just some casual, they go to Shakey's for pizza, is there always confetti falling on them and they start kissing? I feel like that happens everywhere they go, yeah. This year, Dell Technologies' back-to-school event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

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Hey, you know one thing about when you go to the Super Bowl, it reminded me, it's like after the Super Bowl is like after in the old days if you bought a bunch of Coke.

it's not worth it because once it's over, you're like, oh, I paid all that money and it's over that fast. The worst is if someone asks you for your Superbowl ticket money after the Superbowl, it's like chasing up drug money after yoga. I already did my drugs. Now, now I got to pay for them. I already did them. I mean, I'm mad. I did it now. Oh yeah. You owed me 12 grand for that seat at the Superbowl. You're like, oh,

And my team lost. The best parties are unexpectedly great, but it's like New Year's Eve and the Super Bowl. We're really partying, man. But you know what? Drake won two and a half million, I think, betting on the Chiefs. I have to say, and this is an uninteresting take.

When rich people like Drake bet a million dollars, I don't care that much. I don't care that the guy that has 200 million bets a million shows off, shows you the ticket. And they don't talk about as much when they lose, but when they win, they go, what's up? And you're like, it didn't change your life. Now, if anyone else did that, it would change their life, but he does it every week. So it's just puffing up that

I just don't like he turns into H.R. Puff and stuff. Well, here's the here's the deal. Can I finish one time? He Drake said at his next concert and I don't know where it is, but I assume he plays big, big arenas. He's going to find someone somehow in the audience and give them two and a half million dollars. I predict that show is going to sell out.

I would go. Is that true? That's a great idea. Is that true? That's what he announced. That's what he announced. He just said it in some YouTube video. Well, let's go. What do you mean? I've already booked the seats right up front. Super fly box at the show. We got to get close so we can get the tickets. We got to get way up front. We got to walk down. Yes. We will. Anyway.

Oh, I have a thought on Usher. This is a hot take. Okay. My friend Usher, I met him once at an event. It's incredibly nice. Go ahead. I feel like it was a bit of Joe Coy syndrome.

Usher is a great performer. Joe Coy is a funny comedian. But I had heard that three people had passed on that halftime show. You know, your Taylor's, your Beyonce. And so people think they used to not leak ahead like with the Golden Globes. They didn't say who turned it down. Now, if you went to see a movie when you were growing up and it was some actor and they go and right before you went in, they go, Robert Redford turned this down.

And so did Al Pacino. Then you go, oh, so who did they get? This guy? And then you go, what was wrong with it to where they didn't do it? And so that's kind of like seeing the fourth pick. You go, well, I mean, Usher was great and people love him and he did a fine job, but I think there's a little bit of that. Yeah. And also,

You know, the pressure every year to make the spectacle, you know, just they should have Neil Young next year just with an acoustic guitar, not even moved, just hunched over. Old man, look at my life. I'm a lot like you. Get off! Fuck you. Get the fuck off.

Cause I, I sure worked so hard, you know, but yeah, we need just Neil Young with an acoustic guitar center stage. They'll lose about 60 million people. But for people like my, my age group, we'd be super happy. Right. And then he brings out like, they go crazy. Cause like,

you know, Roy Orbison walks out with him. He's not even alive. Featuring. I couldn't think of anyone older. Graham Nash could come out and they could sing. And it was like, holy fuck, is that Graham Nash or my grandpa's friend? They wouldn't have known. Well, yeah. I mean, who would be your pick? I know who your pick was years ago. And by the way, we were watching the Super Bowl.

This guy is going to come on. Everyone's like lukewarm. I go, trust me, this is going to crush. And it was a classic rock and roll. Tom Petty? Yep. Tom Petty did the Super Bowl and crushed it. Yes. Because people back in the day, you forget how many great songs Tom Petty has. And then he starts. Well, she is an American girl. Right.

And I'm free, free-falling. I just substitute some kind of voice. Don't do me like that. I love Tom Petty. You know, I went to see you two at the Saphir. Oh, yeah. How was that? Last week. And what are my thoughts? Overwhelmed? You know, they show so many things on the wall, all these messages. It's like you might as well be the Manchurian candidate. You're basically getting hypnotized.

into thinking. You know what I mean? Like brainwashed. They could just flicker things on there because you're staring at it for two to three hours. So just for people who are listening and going sphere, tell them what it is. Oh, that's the big circle that holds 18,000 in Vegas where they have concerts and the outside can look like an eyeball. It's all made of LED screens. It's pretty badass. And U2 was playing

And when they say there's so much going on in there, they say, listen, worst case scenario, you get really bored. You watch the band.

And the funny thing is that's what you used to do is just watch the band. But now there's like, oh, there's something over here. They have a giant shark over here. It looks like it's coming at you while they're playing. And we went and we had pretty good seats. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Because it's this fear and the type of seating. In the old days at a big arena, they'd say, oh, they're in the nosebleeds.

Those seats are so high up, they have bloody noses. And the performer is the size of a speck of dust. Is there any bad seat in this sphere? Not really, because it's like straight up like a wall. They used to say I sat in the rafters. I sat in the nosebleeds. Nosebleeds. I guess just those two. The cheap seats.

The cheap seats, yeah. The cheap seats. I would go to a Giants baseball game for a buck and just sit way out left field like, you know, couldn't see anything. Well, look, I heard that it's wired for this, but they're afraid to do it. But sometime the next three months they're going to do it. The sphere has the capability, apparently I heard, to rise up, go into the low suborbital atmosphere and then make a landing back in Vegas.

Did you notice the little secret seat belts? No, I'm Googling low suborbital. That's where William Shatner went on the guy who's everything about him looks like a dick. You know, Jeff Bezos, the swoosh looks like a dick on Amazon. His spaceship looks like a dick and so does his head. It's a trifecta. He's a human penis. I mean, come on. So, well, Shatner went... The funny thing is dick looks like a crescent wrench. Crazy. What?

It doesn't even make sense. You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Oh, yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which no time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older. I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took, grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is hola.

And hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta Stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, they have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curve ball. I think they're going to know what don't they have the language you want. Yeah.

It immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You understand? I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Just don't type.

Designed for long term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! Oh, my gosh. And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off-script.

is that when you learn a language and you learn to pronunciate the words in that language, you start to learn about the people who live there and speak that language. Sort of a subtle, intuitive way of integrating with the culture. A little different, yeah. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, Fly on the Wall listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off.

You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony.

which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, yeah.

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. You want to- So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today. Oh, I want to show you some headlines. Let's show some stories. Let's see. Pull something up. There's two. One of them is this one I thought was kind of funny.

transgender woman sued ex-boyfriend over tossed out balls. So what happened was, what happened to our culture? What happened? This is a story you wouldn't hear 10 years ago, but well, the, what happened was I can't read it, but what I remember is,

The person, I'm just going to try to read it. Sued X B F over tossed out balls. But judge says no case. Right. But the real story, the littler story is like the person that got them chopped off.

kept them in the fridge and they got, they broke up and the guy threw them out and that, and the other person came back to get the balls. And they said, you didn't leave them here. Yes, I did. I know they're by the eggs. Actually, they are the eggs. They might've got mixed up with the eggs.

Um, let me just, so it's a couple, someone gets their balls chopped off and then the couple breaks up. Why would the couple, cause I'm a romantic, why would they break up over the, over that? It would cause a rift possibly, maybe not, but that's probably. Do you have any other testicle removing articles? I like, I would hide them in the pickle juice. Um,

No one's looking there. What's your best balls joke in your stand-up? Do you have any? Because I don't know. I'm trying to think. You go ahead now. My balls joke. What is it? IHOP. What about that? Oh, I went to IHOP and I found a pube in my eggs.

No, I found a hair on my eggs and it was a pube and it was still attached to the guy's balls that were, and he didn't work there. And that's what I thought was weird. I go, this guy doesn't even work here. See, that's, you think it would be. That's good. That's funny. And that's smart. This is me in college doing standup at a tiny club when I was really scared. Uh, Popeye from the Popeye cartoons gets kicked in the balls. Oh,

Kill every time. Oh, it's killing here. Heather's doing the air part of her laugh and then it comes into noise. She's just, I wasn't like you. I could never write material. I would go to toy stores. I would just think of, I couldn't, well, you can write material. I would go to toy stores and buy props and try to make comedy out of that. But Popeye getting kicked in the balls was a show stopper.

Well, you know, I do like that one. I think I remember you did it for a little bit in the old days, but you took it out. So there's shit my act, I hate taking out. It just gets too old. And I'm like, come on guys. I'm so, well, it's really to amuse myself. It's more, I want more abstraction. I don't want anything, anything that makes any sense. The one that kills the hardest now is goes back 50 years. George Bush senior going off a high dive diving board.

Okay. It kills. Gotta do it. Gonna do it. Gonna do it. Not gonna do it. But I'm walking. That's it. Bedlam. You go a pepper and a funny walk. Bedlam. Chaos. People are like, ah! Every time I do this one because of the Super Bowl, I'll do it. Christopher Walken sees an amazing magic trick. Wow!

Yeah, you could have been in that Super Bowl commercial. That's it. Heather could do it. Wow. Wow. Wow. There you go. Yeah. That was pretty good. That's pretty good. Heather, Heather, Heather, feathered hair. Oh, here's one more story I'm going to show you. No, I don't have it. I just read that in the New York City, the cops aren't allowed to have facial hair again. They used to have that. I don't know if Heather knows this. They used to have that forever. The Yankees.

The New York City cops. And then they let them have beards and must. I don't know why they did it. And now the cops can't have that. So the only thing these cops really can do now is get beat up. Look at this. I mean, that's I mean, you need a beard to soften the punch. I mean, all they're doing is getting. Look at this. Give them something. These poor fucking guys. Every cop had a mustache in the in the 60s. It's cool.

Everybody had a mustache. New video reveals bring back some traditions. Clean slaven? Clean shaven? Clean shaven. I don't like this because, first of all, it's so hard to get people to be cops. It's so hard to get them...

The cops get beat up in New York more than anywhere. And then you can't fight back. You can't choke anyone. You can't punch anyone. So you can't do anything. So you're either getting beat up or you're having someone film it and going, it's bad enough to get beat up. Someone's filming going, Hey, you fucking pussy. You're losing.

It's like, well, I can't fight back. I can't shoot. I can't fight. I just get beat up and then they run away and go, fuck you. And they go, ba-na-ba-ba-na-ba. It's like, that's 20 times a day. 20, 20, 20, 20.

What kind of escape from New York, Chris, Kurt, I can't talk now. What kind of escape from New York, Kurt Russell fucking dystopian movie are we living in? It's a commonplace thing. What happened today? Oh, I saw some cops get beat up. What happened to the people? They ran away.

And what happened? They don't, and they're not allowed to chase them and people get, it's just so weird. And you go, when I was a kid, you won't believe this. This is how old I am. We weren't supposed to beat up cops. Now it's like a TikTok challenge, but you know, whatever. What are you going to do? Now, next will be, what? I was going to say, I wanted to see your Superbowl commercial. I'm jumping around. Oh,

Okay, I have a story about me and John Lovitz, if you want to see it. So I've been in four Super Bowl commercials. Whoops, how'd that get out? Jesus Christ. Well, two with Lovitz for American Express back in... And then one with Kevin Nealon, Hans and Franz, and then one with Mike Myers. So, you know, another good friend of mine that's due to do a Super Bowl commercial with me. Oh, let's do it.

I love Super Bowl commercials. Yeah. Oh, here's your commercial. So this is while you're on SNL, right? While on SNL and John and I together in an American Express commercial.

Balderdash.

Montage. Funny montage.

Funny reaction Funny reaction Funny sunglasses John looks kind of cool John looks great Pay attention to the Hawaiian shirts Hawaiian shirts Look at those guys going in Look at how stupid that shit is I know

What? It was...

John and I came over the thing during the thing of doing that thing. But the funny part about John and I's relationship, you saw the Hawaiian shirts at the end. They're kind of loose fitting. Mine was sort of yellow or orange. So there was, you know, like big American express commercial. There was a trailer with, I don't want to exaggerate. I'd say a hundred Hawaiian shirts just lined up. So I go in and I grab one and put it on. I'm going out in the bleachers where you see the scene at the end. John goes in the trailer like,

Like, go in the trailer. John goes in the trailer. Two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes. What's going on? He finally comes out, doesn't have a Hawaiian shirt on, walks over to me, points and goes, I'd like to wear that one.

So I go, John, you're being ridiculous. What a fucking idiot. I go, John, there's a hundred in there. No, it's a two second shot. It's a two second shot. So finally, just because the way John and I will tease each other, I said, John, look, let's be honest. We both know I got the best one. This is the best one by far. I got it first. What can I tell you? I'll be finding the commercial. You won't.

So we got two commercials out of American Express. And that commercial was voted number one that year. It was the first year they had ratings. That ad meter thing, yeah. Yes. USA Today. Well, that's great. If you're driving right now, take a look around. See all those cars? You can find them on AutoTrader because they have the largest selection of new cars, used cars, electric cars, even flying cars.

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Find it on auto trader. See it. Find it. Auto trader. I'm a nibbler, Dana. And I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up.

They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is Pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Honey roasted.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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Have people send in, we can cut this out. Oh, no, we can. Impressions. Audio or video audio of impressions. And we will give you feedback and maybe we'll end up having a little competition as people go forward. Like, you know, who can do the best, whatever. We'll give you our...

Our professional showbiz opinion. And they can be bad or we'll just clown on you. You send it in to superfly at audacy.com. A-U-D-A-C-Y.com. Yep. And Dana, I've had, people Twittered me some redneckies. I have one rack them for you before we start. But it's kind of similar.

No, I love Rackham. Rackham, we almost named this podcast Rackham, which was David's notion. And I just still think it's really funny. Do you think you need to explain for Heather? You understand what Rackham is, right? Everyone knows, right? Yeah. Pool. Pool. You're in pool and you hit the last ball in.

And you walk away and go, rack them. That means you won and fuck you and let's play again. It's the ultimate badass move and pull. I can't think of a good joke. I thought of one this weekend because it's the dumbest one. It doesn't matter. As long as you say rack them. Okay, ready? Yes. You know, I don't want to say Dane is tight with money, but I asked my pet bird what he thought of Dane and he said, cheap, cheap, rack them.

Well, it shouldn't be a joke from 25 years ago, but it's good in real life present jokes, but I can't think of one.

You had two. If only I was a comedian. Cheap, cheap rack'em. You had a good rhythm. You had a catchphrase with cheap, cheap, and then you had rack'em. Cheap, cheap's funny because the bird's telling you that he's cheap. And then rack'em. I ran right over it with rack'em. But you can stall. But let's get into Red Rednecky. I just want to explain to people, this is just my take on a really bad comedian, and it's also just a story of someone who is...

Indomitable, like always thinks of the positive. Google. He announces his name before every joke. I'm Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian. I asked my daddy. Every joke. Every joke. Sorry. I'm Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian. I asked my daddy what's for dinner. He said shit on a shingle. I said this day keeps getting better and better. Come and get some.

I'm Red Redneckie, the redneck comedian. I met my sister only because mama turned me down. Common gates on. So it was an incest. They're very economical, though. You don't wait too long. No, and it's just like, I went to the doctor. He said he had to amputate my right foot. I said, can I keep my left foot? He said, sure thing. I said, common gates on.

Why don't we get that one? Well, because he's so positive. He just says, come and get some. He thinks great. Hi, I'm Red Redneck, the redneck comedian. The doctor said he had to remove my right foot. I said, can I keep my left foot? He said, sure thing. I said, come and get some. I thought the first two were more Red Redneck-y. Red Red...

Yeah, we like it, though. We laughed at it. Well, here's one that no one ever gets because it's too dry. I'm Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian. I just got back from Oozin' Saw, Minnesota. Everyone said, how are the folks doing in Oozin' Saw? I said, dabbing cotton. Come and get some.

Listen, I'm going to come and get some. I'm not saying I'm not. I'm just saying. Heather got it. Do you get it? No, I just heard Dab and Cotton. She just likes to hear Dab and Cotton, and I just like to hear come and get some. I just got back from oozing sore. Oozing sore is the name of the- Oozing sore. I didn't get that. I have to announce it. I got back from oozing sore, Mississippi. How the folks doing down there? Dab and Cotton. Come and get some. Oh, yeah.

How about spraying Bactine? Rack them. Let me think of a rack them joke. Rack them stuff. I know. By the way, I posted an Instagram story this weekend about a fake Super Bowl party I had with 18 people. But it was like the most bleakest party. So I just did this. Oh, I I put a picture of like a cup of salsa.

and a bag of peanuts, and then one Tito's bottle. And I said, let's rage or something. And then people put more like, come and get some. See that? Okay. I like that one. Infested. That's not the word. It's infiltrated my...

How about this? So people are listening to this dog shit podcast. How about this? This guy challenged me to a fight. I went full Paul Newman and Butch Cassidy and Sundance kid. Come and rack them. No, no. We can't have a collab yet. Come and rack them. No. Come on, man. Come and rack them. They are kind of similar, but I like come and get some better. But rack them needs to be in the right time and place is a real good one.

Even if it's thrown away. Yeah. But do, oh, I have one here. Here's a joke. So in a related story, mass maestro is coming in. Maestro is an Oscar nominated movie. Bradley Cooper's in, I'm sure it's a perfect quality, well done movie, but it looks a little boring. Honestly, I couldn't get through the poster. Honestly, I fell asleep during the billboard.

There we go. I said it like that. That's a good chop right there. No, just in case Bradley, he's brilliant in the movie. It's a, it's a,

It's quite amazing. The Holdovers, extraordinary. Oh, the one we had him on, Giamatti. Paul Giamatti is, and the whole movie is just puddle of tears, grabs you like a 70s movie. Alexander Payne, I think, did Sideways. Yeah, you say his name wrong. His name is pronounced Giammaestro. Did you see the movie Bobby? That was when I saw Margot Robbie first promoting it. They go, tell us about your movie. She goes, it's called Bobby, because that's how everyone from Australia says it.

Bobby. At Bobby. Shrimp on the Bobby. Hey, mate. Bobby. All right. What do we do now? That's it. It's a fucking wrap, dude. It's a wrap. You guys, thanks for tuning in. Oh, we can read these. These are emails. Superfly submissions. Oh, okay. Read them. Okay. Read one of these as Red Rednecky. I went shopping. This is Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian. I went shopping at Walmart for a three-piece suit and came back with three pieces of fruit. Come on, get some.

It sounds funny, Johnny. You're getting close. We're going to work on these next week. It sounds funny because the way you're saying it and when you end it, it doesn't almost matter what the middle part is. I'm Red Redneck. You're the Redneck Comedian. My mama always told me you better get mad before it's too late.

Said, what do you mean? She said, never mind. It's already too late. Come on, guys, home. It's just a little few too many words, but you're getting close, Johnny. This is one guy submitting all this horse shit? Oh, here's one from Rabin. Rabin? Robbie. Oh, this is a Johnny. Oh, sorry, officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had three Twizzly Willy Wonkas at the Drunken Monks. Oh, this is Johnny Carson. Yeah. Three Twizzly Willy Wonkas at the Drunken Monks.

Drunken monk. I think I'd go monk would be singular. Go ahead. I think it should be three Twizzly Whizzleys because it should be two and two. Two words and two words. Three Twizzly Whizzleys at the drunken monkey. These are viewer submissions? Okay, I didn't even know we had any. These are great. I'm Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian. What's the difference between an alley cat and a pole cat? About $20. Oh, like a stripper? I like that.

A pole cat would be the stripper. It's a little dark. Hey, Frank. It's a cat stripper. Mama said, get you a woman that appreciates pest control. On a good day, that's dinner and a show. Come on, guys. These are pretty good. What about, okay, if you have any good of those or any good rack them, send them in, and we'll wrap up now. Thanks for watching. Watching. And also thanks for listening.

And the studio's almost ready, so we're going to be in here. Crack them. Yeah. Bye-bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey. Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.