SUPERFLY #72 - Kings and Queens
49:23 Share

Listen, I've got a closet, Dana, with a bunch of stuff in it. Oh, boy, have I seen your closet. I got winded running across it. Yeah. Yeah, listen, it's mostly half shirts and sailor hats. But you know what? I need a few good solid pieces to spruce it up. Comfortable, well-made, versatile.

You got to go to Quince. That's why I keep going back. Yeah. Their lightweight layers, David, and elevated basics have become a go-to, especially in the summer right now. Listen, they have organic cotton silk polos, soft, breathable, just feels like a step up from regular clothes. You know, you've seen what's out there. There's linen shorts that look great. Their pants are perfectly cut.

And you could wear them to something casual. I know you go to a lot of beach parties or you go to dressier night out, a nicer beach party. Sounds good. Yeah, what really makes Quinn stand out is the price. Everything is about half the cost of similar high-end brands. They work directly with the best artisans. Cut out the middleman. You don't want that. So you get luxury without the markup. And they only partner with factories using ethical, responsible practices and premium materials.

Stick to the staples at last. With elevated essentials from Quince, go to quince.com slash fly for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash fly to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash fly. Okay, confession time. I never thought I'd be that person, but here I am.

raving about an energy shot. But listen, this isn't just any shot. It's 5-Hour Energy's new Glow Motion flavor. It's basically a tiny rave in a bottle, like it literally glows under UV light. You, a dance floor, and a glowing energy shot? Huh? The vibes are immaculate. Glow Motion is a fruity burst of flavor that hits harder than a 3 a.m. you-up text from your ex.

but way less emotionally damaging. It's got the same caffeine as a premium cup of coffee, zero sugar, and none of the regret. And it's only two ounces, which means it won't weigh you down when you're running marathons, dancing till sunrise, or just chasing your dog who suddenly decided to be an Olympic sprinter. Woo!

So, David, stock up. Grab one for your squad and let's glow. 5-Hour Energy Glow Motion is available online. Head to www.5hourenergy.com to order yours today. Let's slide into it. Okay, so I went on the road, Dana, and this is where everyone's riveted and glued to their podcast. Like, oh, yeah.

Weekend 4,000 of Spade telling some dumb road story. Yes, it is. What if it is? I love you on the road. I don't know if you love you on the road, but when I hear that you're on the road, it just lives my day. I don't know why.

And it's fun to hear from your chariot, your throne and your ranch, but when I'm out there grinding, so I go out there, I did a whole Ohio run. So it was three cities in Ohio. One I do not know of, it's called Newark.

Had a hot little theater. Nice airport. It's kind of a, you know, when it's a small town, it's not, no, not Newark where all the planes crash. This is Newark, Ohio. Newark, Ohio. Oh, excuse me. I was just playing Cleveland, Montana. So exactly. That's what happened. I go, even people in Newark are going, are we in New Jersey or are we in Ohio? I don't understand. I don't trust anything they say.

Yeah. Then I went to Dallas, Arizona. Joe keeps going. I like Cleveland, Montana better. Cleveland, Montana, probably real. You can't beat that one. So, by the way, I love this.

When did this plant grow back behind you? What? I'm a horticulturalist. I like nature. I'm a horticococcalist. I'm a horticococcalist. I'm a horticococcalist. Look, apparently having knickknacks and plants behind you when you do a podcast exponentially pleases the audience. Blows up the audience. I had no knickknacks. Now I've got that little special... Plus, I want everyone to guess...

What is in that fly on the wall thing? Email. And I won't move what I put in there. And next week, if you win, guess what is in that? I'll reveal it on the next Superfly. Oh, shit. So email us or comment on us and guess. Yeah, I don't even know if there's any way to get a hold of us, but do it. Oh, and YouTube, maybe they can do it. Also, the people, what they say is they watch the whole podcast and they don't mention one joke. They go...

Dana's drawer has weird handles. And you go, that's all you got from this whole motherfucker? Hey, man, this is our core audience. These are people who love us. They see the details. The drawer handles are the biggest thing. Look, I don't understand what this new art form is, but I'll tell you one thing. This morning I saw...

more short films done by chat, GBT or whatever. And it's getting weird. We really, you really can make a film on your laptop now. Why they, do they need us for anything? Are we sort of obsolete? We've got a full week left. I'm sure. Well, what the, the skill set is learning how to talk to the robot. You prompt it.

David Spade and Theo Vaughn are running away from an army of 10,000 people. And then you'll see it. You don't have to get the 10,000. I mean, that's kind of fun to see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of fun to have the power to go Spade chased by Godzilla in Scottsdale. Spade journeys to the center of the Earth in a spaceship or center of the universe in a spaceship. So anyway, it's just coming. I'm just saying, look out.

They go, Spade goes to do a show in Ohio and doesn't bomb. And ChatBT goes, I can't come up with that. I can't do that. Or something. I actually tried it this morning. Spade gets five standing ovations. And I waited 10 minutes for seeing you get the standing ovation. And then it just came up skull and crossbones. I don't know what that meant. The ChatGPT couldn't pull it off. They go. Oh, Heather jumped in. She asked.

chat GPT if Dana was in a gang because he's wearing it. Oh, they gave me comments. She asked, what does David Spade do? Or what'd you say? Oh, what's his comedy about? Oh, he crunches leaves and walks in circles. That's good stuff. Positive stuff. I put it in. I said, is David Spade funny? And it just gave me an emoji like,

They gave you this guy? I don't know. I mean, some people say so. I don't get it. Some people say. Chat GBT. We don't get it in the robot. Here's what you have to learn if you're in chat GBT. You've got to learn how to say down robot, down robot, because they can get out of hand. I saw a girl look like a robot. I told Heather she had so much Botox or four hours around, and then she had paint on eyebrows. I go, looks like something from iRobot, you know. We're starting to look all the same.

It's all bad. We're trying to say robot. Our goal is to say robot a hundred times this episode. And we're halfway there. I'll take a win. Hang on. We haven't done this yet, Dana. One of my shows in Cleveland was right next to a clinic.

Dana, guess what? I ordered you something else online. Where is it? There's things I do for Dana. I don't have it yet, but Heather and I are ordering it because I saw some other doohickey. I go, oh, yeah, we got to have it for Dana. Wait a minute. I am a minimalist, as you know. I don't have or don't want anything, but I really want that fucking thing because. Yeah.

Whoever invented that sound, was it the 20s or the 30s? It worked still. It's so perfect. And after you make a lava with someone, you put that on and says it all. They go, you said your wiener was going to go straight up. I go, yeah, I've said it before, but take a look. Camera pans down. No wonder Debbie Downer was a hit. So funny.

She goes like this. Yeah, she had it funny. Now, Dana, I would get to how I stayed next to the Cleveland Clinic and it was tubulated into my hotel with another hospital. So you could walk because it's cold, you know? Right. And what happened was it was like an ant farm and all these sick people were just coming into my hotel. Yeah.

Because I was in between. So I'm like the nice hotel hospital bed, basically. So the hotel on both sides and a tube takes it through your hotel? Yeah.

So a clinic, which is very well known. And then like a hospital or a university. Yeah, yeah. Cleveland Clinic. Yeah, yeah. Right. Very nice. And then they have tubes because it's so cold out. They're smart. Like the second floor or third floor, you walk around the city, you can sort of connect, which is such a great idea. We should do it in Arizona because it's so hot.

but it's cold there. So you do that. So when I get on the third floor every day, I'm like, I don't know if this is a normal hotel. Everyone's pushing an IV. So I go, what's going on? They go, ah, we got some spillage from the spillover. Yeah. So yeah. Cause you know, it's just by the way, germ and no offense, but germs obviously everywhere. And then doctors on there and everyone. And the, and the doctor goes, I go, I know you third floor. He goes, no, I'm going to eight. Uh, actually I have a patient here.

That's the last one. No, no. There's two reasons it's funny. One is it's funny. It's a funny sound. The second reason is how much joy you get by doing it. So there's two lanes of funny. It's so joyous. So the fact how happy you are, I don't ever want you to stop until you're not happy making that sound. I know. And it makes you sort of happy adjacent to watch me try to milk bits out of this thing.

- Right, well, that's, you know, I mean, that's the last thing you want after you come out of surgery is that sound. Now hit it. How to go, doc. - Are you ready? - How to go, doctor. - They go like this. Here's the last thing you see. You go, Dana, you're about to go under. You're gonna count to 10. And then you say, okay, I'm a little nervous. They go, you shouldn't be. We've done sex change surgeries before.

Wait, I'm going under. Dana, by the way, you look a little loopy today and you want to say why to our viewers? Yeah, I had a little minimally invasive surgery for a hernia. Yeah. And they went through your head? Look at this hat. I haven't been able to. Oh, yeah, you can't.

For three days, and I had a really cool Pendleton cowboy hat that got lost. I was going to wear that. Oh, that would have been great. I looked like Christian Bale in 310 to Yuma. Look it up. So then at the last second, this was on top of the dryer. This. So yeah, I had a pain. And these glasses. So I had a pain pill, whatever that is. So I'm a little loopy. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

But I don't cancel. It's only been 36 hours since I was... But yeah, they stitch you up, they go down the negatives. And everyone's like, oh, I had it. I felt nothing. Well, guess what? I felt something. Yeah. I think I was the only one that was brave enough to say it is...

Mine was a double, which whatever that means, it's just a little more tricky. We have the same doctor, which is funny. Mine was bad, Dana, because when I did it, the doctor said, oh, you know, it's outpatient or whatever. And I woke up and I go, I'm not going anywhere. My brother had my brother come out.

And he carried me, put me in a wheelchair. I was like, cause you know, you're like muscles are cut. So I was like, he carried me like a baby, like a bodyguard and had insult to injury. My dipshit neighbor, uh, dug in his front yard and cut out all the power lines. So I got home and I couldn't get in the gate. It sounds like rich problem is a gate. Um,

And then so my brother had to bump the gate, open his back, carry me all the way into the house, which was pitch black. No electricity. So he terrifyingly puts me in

the bed and i'm just like this i can't get up if there's a fire if there's a problem i'm like this is so scary and i'm on my pain pills which i don't like taking for any real reason i just want to take them for fun and so i'm laying there and then i've got a catheter jammed up the wazoo uh it's up to my ribs i think i went down the catheter i said yeah i'm cool dana yeah it's optional you could have just said mm-hmm

No, because I didn't want to get up and pee. I couldn't stand up. My brother the next day had to pick me up and just swing me around just for fun. I don't know why I asked that. How big is your brother? Is this a cyclops? What a job. He's like, I came out here to take care of you. I don't want to do literally everything. And I'm like,

Can you check my catheter? It feels a little loose. He's like, I'm sorry, what? We had the same surgeon who's great. He's world renowned. But, you know, I get in there and they're kind of like, well, he's got a special case right now. So he had an extra large person and

And it took like three to four hours. So I waited. And then when he came in, I said, are you all right, dude? Do you need a snack or something? Cause he, he looked wiped out. Your stomach hurts when you laugh. Yes.

Not my stomach. It's the groin area. Groinial. I'll be fine. The guy did a great job. Brilliant surgeon. Super nice guy. And, you know, what are you going to do? I just think you should manage your expectations. He asked me before I went, are you nervous? I go, surprisingly, no. And you go, you should be a little nervous. Jesus. He goes, I'm nervous as shit. Yeah.

But he said, I just did this huge, I don't want to say fat guy, but like monstrously. And, uh,

And he goes, I'm wiped out. But I say we just get this one, knock it out, then we can all go to lunch. And you're like, yeah, let's just buzz through this one quickly. Well, you know, they always say it's a chip shot in golf, like meaning that it's easy, but chip shots are not very easy. So I don't know where that came from. But he did a great job. And I just will be glad when I don't feel pain getting up

and moving around, but I'm fine as long as don't make me laugh or I'll be in pain. So now you have a challenge. I won't do it. Believe me, you're in no danger. When I was in there, they go, it's the third day. We think we're going to get your catheter out. I didn't want to look. It's so crazy that that even happens because it goes into your wiener. Do you know what that is medically? So it's like a number two pencil. It's way too big to be in there. So goes in there and then she goes like this.

They just pull it out. Right. And what happens is the way it stays in just to sicken everyone, you might want to pull over is at the end, it's got a little like a balloon. So it stays, it doesn't slide out. So one time they go one time, they forgot to deflate that part and started yanking. I go, I can't hear it. I can't hear it. Well, that see, you're making me laugh again. That is hilarious.

it's hilariously horrifying it's so funny uh but other than that i think i'm glad you're okay this is the loopiest i've been on the podcast even more than when i had dental work right before i came over and did the bike and also you're being tough because you look a bit of a gangbanger today which is kind of cool and

Tough guy with the plan. I'll just announce it. I mean, this is my new look. I mean, there's no reason. There's no logical reason for me to look anything other than what I look like now because I can see it. If you can look this cool and this badass, why would you look wimpy? I mean, I'm picturing it like it's just black hair.

And it looks funnier. Like that's just your black hair growing in. I'm doing an edge. I'm doing edge with Bono and edge. Yeah. Oh, this is the edge. That's right. It looks like hair. Okay. It looks like hair. I picture it looking like hair and it's funny to me. Right. That's good. I'm happy for you. One thing, um,

Do you have more road stories besides the hospital one? No, there's no real. That's not even a real story. But yes, that's it for the road. What else you got?

- Dane, I'm a little bit of a spendy Susie, if you know what I mean. - A boozy Susie and a spendy Susie. - Yeah, I'm more of a boozy Susie, but yeah. - Yeah, you are a spendy spender, yeah. - And a lot of our listeners are nice enough to write in and say, "You look like you drank a lot and slept on your face." But that's just constructive criticism. - Well, it's very concise.

And you don't really drink very much, I'll tell the fans. No, just puffy. This is where Klarna comes in. Klarna is your everyday smarter spending partner, which is what a lot of people need. A lot of my friends definitely need it.

It allows you to make smarter decisions with your money. And it's sometimes good to have a partner like that. And I'll say it again, Klarna, which I assume is Swedish. Klarna is your smarter everyday spending partner. Shoppers can use Klarna's Pay-in-4 product to split their purchase into four interest-free payments.

That's right. Here's some key takeaways. Listen up, brother. Klarna offers a paying for product where you don't have to pay interest. I think that's a good thing. You can pay with Klarna at merchant checkout in the Klarna app or with the Klarna card.

You can also compare prices at your favorite stores and earn cash back when you shop in the app. They're making an effort for us for in-app shoppers to get more value from every purchase. So choose Klarna at your favorite retailers or shop now at Klarna.com. CA resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license.

NMLS number 1353190. - Klarna, balance account required. Klarna may get a commission, limitations, terms and conditions apply. I'm just gonna say it. - That's right, they do. - I'm just gonna say it. It's a Klarna summer. - HIMSS, as you know, Dana is- - HIMSS, oh yeah, HIMSS. - One of our sponsors. It's changing men's healthcare by providing you with access to affordable sexual health treatments.

from the comfort of your couch. Look, if ED is getting you down, what should they do, David? You get HIMS. HIMS. Help you with your confidence and other things. You know, HIMS provides access to treatments that can keep you staying hard.

That was hard to say. And last longer. So you can be ready whenever the mood strikes. So I think this is great, actually. I think that a lot of these...

access to medicines. If you're a little embarrassed about things, you can get them online and they're FDA approved ingredients. I mean, it provides access to a range of doctor trusted ED treatments like chewable tablets, Viagra, Cialis, and their generics for up to 95% less, David.

Listen, 100% online. You don't need those uncomfortable conversations with your doctor. Plus, let's lift the taboo on this. It's out there, guys. I mean, come on. Sorry, it's out there. Come on. Just fill out an intake form on their site. Super easy. And a medical provider will determine the right treatment option. If prescribed, your medication ships directly to you. You'll like this for free.

That's right. Start your free online visit today at hymns.com slash superfly.

That's H-I-M-S dot com slash superfly for your personalized ED treatment options. HIMS dot com slash superfly. The featured products include compounded products which are not approved nor verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality by the FDA. Prescriptions required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. The thing that made me... I don't know. It's sort of weird...

that, you know, you see these little, there's driverless cars, Waymos, right?

And they're all over L.A. And then eventually, and then you see the little cars, see the Waymos. And they're kind of cute. And you do extrapolate into rooting for the Waymo. There's no driver, but you know it's an AI, but you sort of watch it. Oh, I hope it makes the right turn. So during the local festivities in downtown L.A., people who were protesting decided to call the little robot Waymo.

to come pick them up and then they would explode it or burn it up. So the way actually they've installed a little AI voice like, yes, sir. Right away. Downtown LA. See you in 19 minutes. Oh, there you are. I'll pick you up. What the fuck? You're going to explode me. Oh my fucking God. Oh, that's horrible. So,

Oh, is that a bottle of booze? Oh, it's gas inside. Why is there a rag on the ground? What did I do to you? Please don't explode me. I don't want to be exploded. So anyway, I just felt like that was kind of a nasty thing to do.

I don't know if the riots were anti-Waymo. I don't know what was going on. I don't know what they would... Please don't deport me. But then they had Mexican flags that were waving. You'd think like, where do you want to go? I know. I think the message is a little confusing. I get the message of if people have jobs and they're doing and they're contributing, I didn't think that's what this was all about. But

Uh, that is the message I think. And it's getting blurry when it gets more riotous and there's professional riders that definitely come into this and they are here to shake shit up and cause trouble. And when it gets like that, it gets away from the original intent and then it just turns into chaos and then it's looting and it's all these problems. And then no one even knows what's going on. And they bring in the national guard.

to ideally just make people go hey just stop we got to just stop what we're doing and just figure this out instead of it's getting worse you know you don't want to get worse and back in 2020 you don't we can't burn down the city again it's just too much it's too much hurts too many businesses hurts everyone and they got the olympics coming and they got world cup and so you know i feel like it first of all i saw it i thought it was a rerun second of all i was like

I've got a great solution, Dan, and you're going to love this. All right. Here we go. We send in Bonnie Blue. Do you know who Bonnie Blue is? Heather likes this idea. She's the one that had sex with a thousand people. She could try to have sex with all the people at the protest. Then it turns into a fun thing.

Right. And it still can get its message across. Yeah. It gets a little watered down with Bonnie Blue, but she brings joy because her next thing she's doing is she's, I don't know if Heather heard this one. This isn't putting women, it's not projecting them forward. It might be inching them back because she is going to go in a glass cage and let 24 hours whoever wants to come in, do whatever they want to. This was already done. Oh.

And it got very, very like. I do remember one girl just stood there and said, do what you want to me. They started very minimal. And then I slapped her and they punched her and then they. Blood at the end and strangulation. This, I think she's just going pure have sex with me. I mean, she's, it's sort of whatever you want, but I don't think she's there to play cricket.

Yeah. Oh, tools. Or to hurt her. Yeah.

That was like an art piece. This one's a little less arty in my mind. A little lower on the art scale and more on the horned dog boner scale. That's a bit of a stretch. Human beings, whatever they can think of, eventually they'll do. So someone thought of that. Hey, how about I do 10 men and then an hour later, all right, I got you. I'm going for a thousand. By the way, I have to say, living in California-

And over the years, having people from south of the border, from different countries, working for us and with us, very hardworking, patriotic people. So I don't want those people bothered at all. So just wanted to go on record. You know, they pay taxes. Of course. I think the idea is...

Part of the people think that everyone comes over the border is horrible and part think that everyone is great. I think there's a huge percentage that come over to have a better life. And then there's some that play our system because we clowned it up and just opened it. And so if you open it, other countries say, hey, if I'm a bad guy, this is our chance to get in and get settled. And now I can cause trouble if that's what I want to do. Right.

But there's a ton of great people here and, you know. It's a messy thing, but yeah, you want the criminals to kind of not hang out. Well, I don't, yeah, we want to get rid of people and then you don't know why they're down. Like if they're going in to get someone that, like if you told me someone I knew was also a trafficker, I wouldn't know that, but they might know more than we do. So they might have a reason, but I don't know. I don't like that they're just grabbing regular people, of course, because they're

People here working for 10 years and they're trying to do it right. And it's getting muddied by the people that do it wrong. And it's just a big mess. This Bonnie blue thing might not fix it. And then if not, I'm out of ideas. Hold that thought. I mean, I'm not, I'm not going to, I'm not going to shit on the Bonnie blue concept. I'm not going to, you're not going away from that just yet. You're not going to throw it away. I'm not going to punt if a football on that, you know,

That's our best option right now. And if there's a better one, I'll take it. But right now, that's the placeholder. I live in a sanctuary county. I think LA is a sanctuary city. It's a sanctuary state, basically. But anyway, it's messy. I don't want anyone to get hurt. And I just want us all to live in peace and harmony. I'm from the 60s. I'm an old hippie, basically. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I just don't want the looting, the fires, the burning. It just doesn't help anyone. And it's a lot of nice people down there that have little businesses. You're like, just let

Let them be. They don't want to be a part of this. No one does. No. And again, just in the macro, you know, if you think of the United States government and the California government, the local government, you know, you want to take care of the national parks, make sure they tax and help people and do all that. But I have two things I want from the government. The first thing is to protect me from enemies outside of the U.S.,

And the other thing is to protect me from criminals in my neighborhood. So those are the two number one and number two things I want. So law and order downtown just creates more jobs, more businesses. And I am running. I'm running against Karen Bass. I should announce that. Once I get off these pain pills, I'll start the campaign. They asked Joe Exotic what he thought of her. And he goes, Karen Bass, you bitch. What?

Sounds like that's the whole thing. Carol Baskin. It sounds like. And the reaction to that. No, you, you were going to play him and now you do the best impression of him. Now I just do an impression of him. That's like the only one I got left. Okay. Other than that. Yeah. The world cup. But what they will do is I don't like the skim job of when Gavin Newsom had

You know, the leader of China come to San Francisco, he cleaned up all the homelessness and everything and all the drug people for one week till the guy came and then he let it go to shit. It's like, why, why don't you just fix it for people in San Francisco? Don't fix it for someone. So when the Olympics come, he's just making more of a problem. They're going to have to clean up downtown and graffiti. They want it to look pristine, right? Yeah.

Or move the Olympics. The Olympics are funny because every city that hosts the Olympics tries to go all out, paint everything perfect, get rid of the weirdos, you know, and just make it a show. You know, it's a big PR stunt. In France, they tried to hide the poop in the river. Remember, they all threw it in the river. Oh, they threw it in the river and thought it would flow through and no one would notice. Then the swimmers went and went, what the fuck? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I know. Okay, go ahead. What were you saying? They should do the Olympics in the San Francisco Bay Area because it's too fucking hot in LA in August. And the Bay Area has a much more temperate climate. It has all the facilities. I'm just saying the Stanford University for the track and field, you know, swimming. Yeah, it's got redwood trees. It's a much better climate. But LA, I don't know. I wish them all the best. But I, you know, they got to clean it up.

Well, let's get to the stories. That was a big story in LA this week because everyone's talking about it, but everyone's waiting to hear what's our take. It's kind of ongoing. I mean, the latest thing, which I thought was kind of funny title, it was anti-king or not a king. We don't want a king.

Oh, yeah. Like Trump. That's Saturday. Yeah, I thought I was just sort of funny. The way Trump is, he'll dress up as a king with a crown and come out. Oh, yeah. Did he do something like that? Or they're just saying in general he feels because he's bringing tanks out. Whatever they think he's doing, they think it's too much. I think those are going to be in every city, though. So look out Saturday. Look out Saturday. Mm-hmm.

Don't go to Burger King. You might want to stay in. Okay, let's play a story of one of our stupid stories and we'll comment on it, which we all find out at the end of the show we're all AI or something. Let's see. We're tricked every show. I'm going to be honest this time with my response. I'm not going to be joking around. All right. I'll let you know. All right, go. Okay, ready?

Whenever we're ready. By the way, you like this color on me, Dana? It's called maroon, I think. It matches perfectly with everything in there. But that one sign behind you is pretty bright. The silver one. This one, the YouTube. Yeah. I would never do the weather. Yeah, that one we're going to switch out.

Each day is a chance to move forward. You'll need apparel that works as hard as you do. That's where Roan comes in. Roan designs clothing to match your ambition with technical fabrics that breathe, stretch, and adapt. Plus elevated styles that keep you looking sharp. Our gear is built to support your pursuit of progress. The commuter collection is made for men who never settle. Versatile, refined, and always ready for what's next.

It's built on the foundation of Roan's signature commuter fabric, lightweight, breathable, and packed with performance features like odor resistance,

stretch that lasts and wrinkle-free technology. And with the commuter pro you get even more tailored upgrades, like an expanded waistline, a silicone gripper to keep you looking polished all day long. The commuter collection looks sharp moves like active wear, never holds you back. Whether you're in a big meeting or sprinting through the airport,

It's performance apparel that adapts to your life, not the other way around. Your day doesn't slow down and neither should your wardrobe. Built by and for those who demand more. The commuter collection is performance apparel fit for your every ambition. Get 20% off at roane.com slash fly with code fly. That's R-H-O-N-E dot com slash fly with code fly at checkout. Dana, it's award season, which means we're due for some classic red carpet combos.

like strapless dresses and statement necklaces or acclaimed directors and long acceptance speeches. But you know what look always pairs perfectly together? Discover and cashback. You see, Discover automatically matches all the cashback you've earned at the end of the first year. Which is a look that will always serve. It pays to slay. It pays to discover. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. David.

As a small business owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early. I do not. Your business is on your mind 24-7. So when you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds just as hard as you do. The hiring partner is LinkedIn Jobs. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. LinkedIn makes it easy to post your job for free, share it with your network, and get qualified candidates that you can manage online.

All in one place. You know, I will give you an example. When I was hired growing up, every job I had, I got fired from. And if they had LinkedIn, they probably would have got someone better, you know, but they get me and I'm some scrub, but now it's more advanced. Like someone like Heather, who's very good at her job. You get someone like LinkedIn would get her and say, here's someone that really works hard and knows what they're doing. But a lot of times you don't get that.

No, it's just, it's the new way of doing this. LinkedIn's new feature can help you write job descriptions and then quickly get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights. Either post your job for free or pay to promote. Promoted jobs get three times more qualified applicants. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality of candidates. And with LinkedIn, you can feel confident you're getting the best

Based on some LinkedIn data, 72% of small businesses using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find high quality candidates. You can let your network know you're hiring. You can even add a hashtag hiring frame to your profile picture and get two times more qualified candidates. Find out why more than 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring today. Find your next great hire.

On LinkedIn. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash candidates. That's linkedin.com slash candidates to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Well, if Diddy's off, what do you think of Diddy as a host? I think, can Diddy get off? He might, right? If Diddy gets off, they're really circling this trafficking because they're saying, if you flew a girl to Vegas and gave her $1,000 spending money,

And then at sex, that could be sex trafficking because you brought someone over state lines, gave them money to have sex. So that's a small version of it, which has been done every day since the beginning of time. But the actual stuff he's doing is basically, it's going to be one of those lawyer things, Dana, where he goes, listen.

Do I want to go bowling with Diddy? No. Is he a gross pig? Yes. Does he do all these horrible things? Not a great guy. Is he on trial for being a great guy? No, because he'd lose. But is he a sex trafficker? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we're missing. This is what we're judging him on. Not all this. This is all noise. It's gross noise. I know.

it's pretty rough and tumble over there in the old Diddy household. I know. I'll bet that guy already has his closing statement. He's just going to go be Diddy, a shitty guy, but nothing didn't do anything illegal. Boom. Yeah. He goes like this in closing. I like to say, peace, shitty over here. I call him that you should too. He's a fucking asshole.

This guy's gross. What he's doing makes me cringe. Is he a sex trafficker? This guy is crude. He's rude. He's obnoxious. He's loud. He's lewd. He's a sex fiend. He has too much money. No one really knows what he does, but is he a sex trafficker?

No. We got to let him walk out. He's got a table tonight at a club. He'll go out and be awful. If he gets off, he's going to be the king of the world. He'll be like, everyone will be like, easy. There's definitely people that will treat him like a hero. Of course. Like, oh, man, you beat him. He won't miss a step.

Yeah. And the guy who's going to give the closing statement is? You still talk like the lawyer. You go, yeah. Who is the guy giving the closing statement? Mr. Bill Cosby.

You see, the ladies like the baby oil all the time. P. Diddy just did the baby oil. Dismissed. I haven't done Cosby in two years. I know. That's a pretty good one. Cosby was the mentor. Is he a jerk? Is he this? Is he that? Is he a criminal? Nope. Dismissed.

Not a great guy. David, give us a topic and I'll riff on it and then you tag me. This is not planned. Okay. There is a... What? Oh, we're not going to do this one. It's too controversial. There's a How to Train Your Dragon sequel. Why is that? It's live action. It's not. God, I had a good one though. I'm looking at Yahoo News. Yahoo. Okay, I'll set you up with this one. No.

Oh, Brad Pitt asked if he'd work with Tom Cruise again, and he gave one stipulation. I can't click on it, though. Goddamn. What do you think it is? They'd have to do the vampire movie again? Oh, I know what we can talk about. Heather's precious Sidney Sweeney's soap. No, it's bathwater. Sidney Sweeney. Is she selling beauty products? She's selling some of her bathwater that they're going to put in soap that guys can whack off to or something.

It's soap with a hole in it. I heard that part is the best hook of all. So Tana's like, this is the crumbling of America. So, and I don't want to think that Sweeney is selling male sex toys, basically. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Now that you position it like that. Yes. Is she publicly traded? Can I buy her as a stock? Cause that thing's going to go fucking ballistic. Yeah.

Yeah, her ex, no, during the movie with Glenn Powell, you know, they did that fake romance. I don't know if you remember this. It might be a little out of your orbit. I know about that. The girlfriend just finally said that she was very miffed by the whole situation, which she should be. I have to take her side that she was flying out to Australia and he said, you know what?

She said like Kamala, don't come, don't come. Because she goes, he says, this is where he got a little, I thought a little rude. The producers and I talked, we don't think you should fly out here because it would hurt the fake romance there that he's cheating. And she was like, that's when I decided I should go. By the way, if you're telling a female, oh, me and my producers decided, why would they have anything to do with it?

You know, I don't know. I haven't had that experience, but it must be odd if your significant other, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife is just doing basically soft core porn on a movie set all day. It just must be odd. I mean, you'd like to go there and look right. And off camera. Yeah. She wanted to come check in on those because she heard rumors.

And she buzzed out. She was going to buzz out there and they said, don't buzz. And so, but I, you know, I met Glenn Powell recently. I thought he was a super cool guy. I'm a guy I'm from a different world. Like I'm not in this thing with her. So, but she did make sense to me. Like that's, I would get the offensiveness of you should tell me this is all fake and you should tell me that.

And she goes, he wouldn't say that. I know, but if you do that too much, it seems like the opposite is true. Honest, baby, I'm telling you, man, nothing's going on. I think she's ugly, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah. You go, Sidney Sweeney, that gross, are you joking? Huh?

Are you joking? Are we on some kind of camera show? Is this a joke show? Is this a prank show? The idea that I would be attracted to Sidney's- Or turned on. Yeah. Or somehow because we're naked under sheets for hours filming that it would mean anything. Are you out of your mind, darling? That's good. It's always gaslight. What's going on? Oh, something happened on my computer.

So that's Sidney Sweeney. And I get why the girlfriend, Gigi, got a little sideways. You know, it's not my business. That's never kept me out of anything. It's not my business. I think it's only human and natural for her to kind of go, whoa, you know. Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, Sidney Sweeney is a monstrous star. Yeah.

Glenn Powell's a huge star. It's just, you know, any relationship, it's a tough ride when people are blowing up. When, yeah, they're, yeah, he's a male leading man. She's a leading woman, you know, and they do a lot of sex scenes in their films. It's really, and she's gorgeous. It's like three good looking people. So I'm sure they'll all land on their feet. Okay, here's the next story. And then we're going to wrap it up. We're going to wrap it up. Yeah, but I got one that'll affect you.

because someone sent me this and I did see this story. Mike Myers involved in the Diddy trial. Did you hear that? They said his- I've heard, yeah, a lot of these things. What is it? Is the idea that his parents, because I think their parents were British, Mike's parents? From Liverpool. Okay, right. Like the Beatles. They might be. What is the thing? Is that his parents had jobs in something over there so they're trying to find a length?

I, you know what? I just, I should text him and find out. We should find out. Because I didn't even want to bring it up. I thought it was one of those silly things. The initial thing that I saw was a picture of him as Austin Powers. And he's looking at himself as Dr. Evil has his pants down. You see his butt. And on Dr. Evil's butt is a tattoo of P. Diddy. Is that true? Is that in the movie? Yeah.

I only, you know, this is, I could be fake. It could be fake as a joke, but yeah, I don't think there's anything nefarious going on. There was rumors that Mike took a tour of the CIA facilities.

I just assume everything's fake until I hear otherwise. Or there's also a reason. I mean, curiosity. It could be anything. You don't know. But we should ask him. We can clear it up for him. Or he can come on. He's a friend of the show. Friend of the show. It's Wayne. I'm Garth. He's Wayne. I've always got his back. Yeah, it's fucking Garth and Wayne. Garth's always...

uh vouchers for his friend by the way i just didn't want people to go without seeing my movie poster tell me is it too like godzilla oh you tilt it down you're smart i think it's cool it may just get a little more in evidence so maybe on that door or maybe right behind the plant or something yeah yeah up on the wall instead of i like it do you

Do you? Do you really? I'm just trying to do something colorful because, you know, I had the white wall and apparently people... Is he from a low, you know, low crime facility or something? Is he...

chained to a radiator and i mean i move around too so you know double tree in yeah um well i think you gave it 120 today dan and everyone's applauding you you got a million birthday messages on youtube last week they were very nice oh that's nice why yeah i don't really um i should have checked them but i don't know i like i like to have a little fun at one point every day

Even if it's watching the basketball game with a nice cold beer or whatever. You're going to watch tonight, Friday, the Pacers. I don't have to wink on that one. The Pacers are playing tonight. I saw the game the other night. Right, the other night, yeah. That was...

Uh, it's turning into a really, really exciting series. It's a bit of a battle Royale. I think it's what everybody wanted. Yeah. Yeah. No one's walking over anybody else. So yeah. What about the shot? Who was in the side of the court to prove that you saw it? Caitlin Clark was sitting with who go? Caitlin Clark was sitting with other WNBA people or. Yep. Um, Angel Reese. I don't know. She was a celebrity. I think it was two other players. Um,

I thought you knew. Well, one was Reggie Miller was in the stands when they were playing in Indianapolis. Right. Yeah. She was with two other gals from the WNBA, but I don't know who they were. And you didn't even know who she was sitting with. You asked me. I asked you as a trick so you'd answer. You didn't know the answer, but I got it right. Two other WNBA stars. Yeah, maybe Sabrina. I don't know. It's not really that...

but I just was curious. And it was fun to see them out at a regular NBA game. Yeah, I mean, I think it's great. The WNBA and whoever you want to give credit to is on the map. Its ratings are going up exponentially. So it's good for them. Love to see Caitlin Clark. She's great. Is she playing again? That's the last question. Then I'll let everyone go. I think she had a little injury or something, but yeah, she started out. I mean, yeah, she's setting records all the time.

Meanwhile, look at you, hernia back here, busting your ass on this podcast. I'll come back better and stronger.

you know it just happens but i had such strong abs yes that the guy did it a different way so i don't know he didn't break a scalpel did he no no but you can do a mesh like put a little mesh on it or you can just go with the actual tissue if it's really strong yeah with me they said you know because it's so dainty down there and i go

What does that mean? And he goes, no, it's just because you're so gushy and smooshy. Well, I shouldn't even be saying this, but he knows we're friends and everything. And he said, look, I shouldn't have done this, but it's organic. It probably was absorbed. But when I did David's surgery, I put a little dandelion in there. Oh, he did? Yeah. I go, you put a dandelion in there? He goes, yeah. That's funny. Dandelion.

And I said, he named his special that you can see it on Amazon prime. And he goes really an Amazon prime right now. It's playing. Yes. Dandelion, David Spade. And then he said, Dana, I'm going to give you a hint for your next special. You might want to call it sponge.

Because he left one in you. And scalpel. He left a scalpel in there? He goes, I'm forgetful. Yes, he left an inflatable raft when I had a minor foot thing. There's probably a kink with some doctor where he like leaves something small. That's a sickening thing, but I guarantee you it's real. I guarantee you. Yeah, definitely. Or writing things on different organs and stuff. Yeah, I hate it.

Okay, well, thanks for... I appreciate that I'm puking everyone out in the last five seconds. Well, I didn't know what to do with my hands. Normally, I'm holding it and I finally got a thing like this. I know, you got a microphone. I was going like this. I was going like this. I went like this. I mean, I should really be at a comedic stance of some kind.

Yeah. It's weird because if no one notices, I have a mic stand and Dane always holds it like a comedian, but at a certain point he decided to grow up. I had one of these things attached to the table and it broke and I'm kind of scattered. I didn't fix it. So I just held it for two years.

Yeah, you're like, pa, ma, little house in the prairie. All right, Dan, if that wasn't the end, I think people realize this is the end now. This is like the movie credits. Yeah, this is like the doors. This is the end.

You're still here. You're still watching. You're still watching. You're still listening. You're still driving. I want to thank you once again for the next super fly. I'm going to do something that I've never done before, but in the comment section on YouTube, try to guess what I've placed in that little, I'm going to guess two leather thing. And if you guess it, you're,

We're going to have it. We're going to get some kind of, something good's going to happen to you. Oh my, that's it? Do you want to announce a prize? Well, could you send it to them or is it worth too much? Send whatever's in there? Yeah. Is that like a hint or a clue? No, we could send it to them as a winner. We could say you win it. Oh, I see. Is it possible? I mean, we could send them the bag, but then I wouldn't. No, we send them what was in it. What's in it. It is possible they could send it.

Okay. So maybe we'll do that. Of course. But how do we know if they're going to want it? They won't want it. They might. Okay. We'll figure it out. Well, this is, we're going to figure it out. We're trying to create mystery on the show. Yeah. It's so much mystery. People like fucking freaking out. Okay. I'm going to go and Dan, it was nice meeting you and we're going to have a great time. So take care of yourself. I'll check on you later. Yes, sir.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.