Will Forte
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Here we go, David. I'd like to sing a little song about our next guest and see if you can guess who it is. Okay.

Will Forte. I have one guess so far. I'm not going to say. Will Forte. Hey, hey. Same guess. Will Forte? Anybody? Will Forte. I put my shades on so I could hear better.

It's a good song. It's a toe tapper. Will Forte, who was in Last Man Standing, Last Man Standing on Earth. Well, he was one of our classic Saturday Night Live cast members. He does the most eccentric sketches.

One involving Jason Sudeikis and potato chips is kind of famous. Yeah. So it was so fun to talk to him. His comedy is so eccentric and brilliant, and yet he's such a humble, sweet guy to talk to. Yeah, he was very sweet, and we went through a lot of the sketches. And, you know, Dana, you're very complimentary because he's got so many zigzag type of bits where you don't see where they're going. Oh, yeah.

The Spelling Bee does one of Spelling Bee, if you've ever seen it, we talk about that one. It's so, so funny. He is Mr. Commitment. Yeah. Commits. Perfect for SNL. Just on that. Go ahead. Mr. Commitment. I know this. Commitment. Yeah. Can I play and you just sing? Mr. Commitment.

Okay, there we go. I was doing it. It was very low. People, look, I get letters. I know you're on Instagram and stuff. I get letters. I get letters. I'm old school. And they always say, can we like to hear David sing? My mom told me I had karaoke at my birthday once.

And this is a quick story. Ashton Kutcher was there. Ashton Kutcher, is it your birthday when you're like 10? When I was 40. So a year ago. And you're still, okay. He's a very cool dude. So he comes to the party and I go to sing Wanted Dead or Alive.

The bottom line of the story is my mom was at the party and she told me I can't sing. But the middle part of the story is- Wait a minute. The song, how does that go? Oh, I'll do it. Okay. So, we go, let's do this one. So, I go, it's all the same. Only the name of Jane. You know that song? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking good, bud. That's good. You committed. Every chair turns around. So-

I start singing that. It's like an episode of The Voice. And then Ashton jumps out and, want it. And I go, want it. That background part is very important. That sounds pretty good. And then he sang the rest of it.

And I go, you don't get all the good parts. He got both parts. I think he did one and then he did one. And I go, no, no, no. That's me. That's all I have left. Because now he's doing both the chorus and the other parts of their call. Ba, ba, ba, ba. Whole song. At the end. I've heard this. At the end, I gave him a weak high five.

My mom was like, he fucked you, dude. I don't know if that's true, but in karaoke, being kind of selfish like that, it's called doing a Kuchner. I don't know if it travels, but... That's what it's called? Yeah, doing a Kuchner. Kuchar. Kuchar. No, he's good. The thing about great about Ashton... We're talking about Wilford Smith. Oh, oh. I know. We sort of drifted off.

Well, when I think of Will Forte, I think of Ashton Kutcher. No, Ashton, my mom said, in fairness, we all were staring at Ashton, so no one cares if you sang. And I go, I get it. Will Forte, folks. Ashton Kutcher. Oh, no, it's Will Forte, right? Just end there. That was good. Yeah, we got an Ashton plug. Now Ashton comes on.

Ashton should come on. The fuck? Is he hosted? No, he has hosted because he said to the cast, he goes, guys, I know I'm really good looking, but I have hardly any talent. So I'm just going to make as much money as I can. And he's a super- Did he say that? Yeah. And he's a super investor. I mean, he's like- He gave everyone when he left a hundred shares of Apple as a parting gift. You know what Will did once, Dana? You won't believe this because I would never.

Fucking didn't you shave your side of your head? I did. It was for work. It was for work. I know, but it's cool. I don't think I could have done it because I've never been in a job where they didn't want me to look the exact same and be the exact same as the movie before. I did racing with the moon with Sean Pennant. Oh, in 1982 or something.

and I'm in the trailer and I'm gonna play this kind of wounded insane soldier and they're just giving me this crazy military buzz cut, right? - Whoa. - So then Sean Penn comes in, he's also in the military but he's got this little pompadour and everything. I go, "What? Why does Sean get this cool, that's the greatest character I've ever seen?" And I'm just, you know, but he was-- - Got good hair too. - And I had to call him the name of his character, I thought that was hip. Anyway, quick question.

Quick story, this podcast is primarily about me, and so just want to give you a heads up on that. So, well, how are you? How are you? I mean, what do you, what's, you have a baby and you're, how are you? I'm doing great. I have a baby, just got, just got married. We got engaged. You married your baby? I married my baby. I think I'm hearing it wrong. She's my baby.

Yeah. No, no, no. She's so it's got married, got engaged the Christmas, Christmas day right before the pandemic set in. And then then during the pandemic, we're kind of waiting to figure out when to get married.

The baby popped up. The baby, which is part of the plan, eventually popped up a little earlier than we thought. And then we just got married when we were out shooting MacGruber. We kind of realized that all our family was going to come in town to visit. So we said, let's surprise them and get married. Let me ask you a question because David's been married a few times. I've only been married once, but it's kind of it is sort of that it's

unless someone's completely cynical, there is something like referring to, I know John Mulaney did a bit about, but my wife and my husband and the, the clarity and the finality of a wedding ring. And here we are. I mean, how do you feel after? How do you feel about that? It's crazy. Cause you, you feel very married, uh,

And especially when you have a baby, it's like, oh, we're this is. Yeah, this is we are locked in. But there's still something really fun about the wearing the ring. I said that that it's still kind of fun to say wife now. Yeah, it just it's it's for some reason the weirdest part of it was when I would say fiance. It was just weird to say fiance. It's like a weird. It was open ended. I was for years when I would make love with my wife.

partner, my wife, I would, you know, that would be my sex word. Wife, I'm having you, wife. No, I made this up, sorry. It's your safe word? Write it into a sketch. Well, please, and make it brilliant. No, I'm telling you, I'm the one that hasn't been married the most, and I...

I think there is something cool about that. I get it. I get it. You just know it. You know what it is. You know where you're at. You know what you get. You want you. It's like one of Lauren isms. And sometimes I don't know if he makes them up or he invents them. A marriage is a prison that everyone's trying to escape into. Yeah.

But then you never heard that one. I like that. Brilliant, right? But then you're so happy that you have this parameter in this area that you work from. And then you kind of all this lovey-dovey stuff keeps coming up, flowing forward. And my family, I got to get my family. I'm taking my daughter here and my wife's meeting me there. Anyway, I'm trying to get Spade married. So I'm trying. No, I will say I heard the opposite. This is what I heard from my dad. And it should be on a T-shirt.

This is my dad because they had a crummy marriage and an ugly divorce. But he said two things. Marriage is the only game that two can play and both can lose.

And then he said, which is very nice to tell your kid when your mom's right there. And then he said, the fucking you're getting is not worth the fucking you're getting. And I'm like, can I just go to preschool? You had a good mentor. I mean, I like, I know it sounds funny, but I like that stuff. I mean, yeah, that's very honest. I think that. But I still wouldn't mind getting married. Well, is your wife, would you say your wife is sweet?

and kind and essentially as just good values and, and a sense of humor. That'd be the four. Yeah. She's all those things. She's, she, uh, she has a tremendous amount of patience, which is, uh, something that I basically need in a, in a partner because I'm, um, I can try anybody's nerves. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But she's, she's, uh, wonderful. And, and she's a great mom, which is, uh, and she's a, uh,

She's just, I really got lucky because she, she was just, I was,

Super on board with everything. Very in love with her. And then found out she was a great cook. She's just coming in. She's just somehow on cue. Can we mic her up? Hello. Hi. There she is. She's going. There she is. That's Olivia. Hi, Olivia. I'm either Dana or David. Dana and David. Hi. On your family, we've heard all about you for the last 90 minutes. Sorry. Hi.

Okay, now I've just... Oh, now I can't... It's still just trapped in the phone. Oh, she can't hear. She couldn't hear anything. We saw her. Yeah. She just... She exudes niceness and sweetness and then... She's very nice.

Her mom is in town right now. We're doing the, and, and I, and man, I scored in that department too. She's got a family I like hanging out with and, and just every, everything is great. Everything is, is fantastic. Okay. So that's, that's kind of cool. I just wanted to ask about that. Cause that's a big experience. Dana's really got a nose for news. You know, it's like, okay.

Where are you guys from? Because, Dana, I know you're in Northern California right now, right? Because that's where I'm from. Well, I actually have a townhome in West Hollywood where I am right now. But I have my house in Mill Valley, but I spend a lot of time down here. And I remember you're a Bay Area kid. But you're not from Mill Valley, are you? No, my wife grew up there. I grew up in San Carlos down in the peninsula. Okay.

We're a track home. It's 4 million now. But where did you grow up in Lafayette? Yeah, Lafayette and Moraga until I went down to UCLA in 88. Wow.

I love it up there. That's, that's always where I wanted to end up. So just quickly, cause I did this for like a half hour with Tom Hanks and I got in trouble, but, uh, did you have a favorite, uh, gift as a kid? Like it could be a bike or an instrument when you were like, you know, between five and 10, I'm always just curious about you as a kid. I would say the thing that first jumped out to me was, uh, stretch Armstrong. Fuck. Yeah. Okay. I love that. That was unreal.

But it was, it was, that was like Gumby, but as a soldier and it was a workout and bigger than Gumby. It was, yeah. And you'd pull the thing until the arms would come out. And there was like a, it was from what I remember, kind of like a sappy blood. It was, it was red, red colored, whatever was inside it, making it, you know, gooey. Yeah.

And I think it's always fun that the character's name is what they do. You know, his name is Stretch. There wasn't much going on. If you look at toys today, like Stretch Armstrong, I had one. You just pull it and it gets a little longer and then it goes back and you're like, yay, I don't know. But it was fucking great. I loved it. I don't know.

One of my first standup bits when I couldn't write anything. So I just go to toy stores and get props because I couldn't think of a joke, but I want to be a comedian. I had a Gumby on stage. I'd hold it up out. I take it out of a bag, put it up against the mic. I'd pull its legs apart and just, and just make the sound like, like I was torturing. Hey, you gotta laugh. I did. I did stuff like you did, but in,

In my early days, everything was avant-garde. By the way, let me tell you, when I was looking at this thing- But we'll get around to Will's genius, but later. No, Will's genius. I'm going to ask him because Dane and I were doing some digging on you. We had a big argument whether you're a genius. It was like a 40-minute- No. We were looking, and the funniest thing I saw on one of these pages was, it says trivia about you, and it says, Forte's humor has been described as bizarre. Yeah.

quirky. I love it. I was looking at him deep dive last night and my wife was over my shoulder and she just looked very quickly and she goes, now that's funny. I go, thanks, honey. Yeah, I watched we watched different things last night, but go ahead, Will. Sorry. We were giving you compliments. We were inching into it. No, I, this is it is crazy to hear you guys saying stuff like this because I'll be honest, I was a little nervous coming on here. I'm

I'm such big fans of your guys that, that I get that. I was like, Oh, I hope I don't clam up around them. And David, I've, I've seen you so many times, Dana. I only met you once at the SNL 40th, but that was fun. You know, I just, I have such tremendous respect for you guys and, and love you guys. You're heroes. So I would be as a, as a, as an attorney, I would make the case in a courtroom that,

that you have a lane that's so specific, and I don't think anyone occupied it in quite the same way. The potato chip, I'm just going with you and Sudeikis, the potato chip NASA thing, Jon Hamm sex offender, the spelling bee thing, and then the dance thing.

Where Peyton Manning ended up dancing and McGroover sensitive, sensitive. You train if, if anyone's listening, wants to see what, I mean, those are pretty good representation. That's a real nice assortment pack. I had to dig on the Peyton Manning one to go to Vimeo because YouTube wouldn't show it. So I had to get into a Vimeo situation. Oh yeah. I think it's because of the song. If there's, you know, the song that kicks it out. Oh, they kicked it out. Certain sites because it doesn't want to,

you know, pay for the song to be heard over and over again. Just because we may not get to this later, I just wanted to ask very quickly about MacGruber and Richard Dean Anderson, because I've been watching with one of my sons who's a sci-fi fanatic. We're watching Stargate and there's 220 episodes. So I've become a super fan of Richard Dean Anderson. Yeah.

And then I know he did that commercial with you and he was on SNL. Just seems like an incredibly nice guy. Anyway, I just wanted to bring him up so I could tell my son. I did done nice. This guy, cause we, we, uh, we had been doing MacGruber's for a while. And then we got a chance to do a Superbowl commercial, which, uh,

like Pepsi had approached Lauren and said, Hey, do you want to take an SNL sketch and turn it into a commercial? And somehow he picked MacGruber. And then when he told Pepsi that, that MacGruber was what he wanted to go with, they quickly bowed out and said, well, you know what? Maybe we don't want to do a Superbowl commercial. So Lauren said, you know what? Let's keep making this thing and just make it good enough that they'll want to

they'll want to do it. So we said, all right, and rallied the troops and we did it and brought Richard Dean Anderson in. And we decided because there was no guarantee that this was going to go anywhere, we would make a sketch for the show at the same time. So he, we got to hang around with him.

for a whole day once. And he was so cool. And he talked about, this was way before the movie came about. So he talked about all about how he had been watching the MacGruber's with his 10 year old daughter and that, and it was very sweet. And then, and then after the movie came out, it took a pretty hard turn into very dirty territory.

And I don't think they watched that one together. I don't know if they saw that one. You know, I have two questions, Dana. One is just a statement that my first year of SNL, I think I was on about a year and a half and I was making $1,500 a show or a week.

And then I got out of the blue, got offered a Diet Pepsi Super Bowl commercial. And I was so excited. And my manager, Gervitz, Dana and I have the same guy. He goes, still got to run it by Lorne. And I go, what does Lorne give a fuck? So I go, okay, tell him. And he goes, yeah, sorry. He said no. I go, no, what? I didn't know that was possible. Like he said no to my, it's not, no, not time, not now. And I go, okay.

I think it was 250 grand. I was like, anyway, so that was a bummer. And then the other thing is my assistant sounds so richy rich, but this girl that works with me was, I've known her forever. And she was like a fake assistant because she was just like, we were friends, but she would help me with stuff. So she started dating Richard. And, and so I would see him here and there. And then

She got pregnant and then that daughter is Wiley, I think. And then I know her. So I know his daughter and I know him because I see him through her. So they didn't get married, but they had this great daughter and I had seen him a few times and he was a fucking cool dude. And I knew what you guys were doing that thing. And I'm like, this is like flattering. It's cool to be part of that whole thing.

Oh yeah. I mean, this was, you know, MacGruber would not exist without MacGyver. And he was cool. Everyone thought he was cool. This girl, all the girls are crazy about him. He's in Stargate. What he's doing as kind of a light leading man and the quips and the way he plays it is like perfection. Anyway, to the commercial. Oh, he's so good. Yeah. And it's really not easy to do. And I think he ad-libbed a lot of his lines, but just really good. When in 1988, I,

I think, or 89, anyway, Hans and Franz was offered just do it. The campaign from Nike. Yeah. And it was just do it. We were going to start the campaign and then Lauren had to call me and I was going to do what, you know, cause we, we all thought we were Bob Dylan with the Beatles or something. So you don't sell out later on. Later on there were, you know, conehead oven mix and SNL store. But Lauren at the time, it's, it's not what we do here. It's not that thing. And it's like, you know, so. Of course. But,

Everyone learned that all the hippies grew up. It's like the movie The Big Chill with, you know, like, oh, we got to get money. You know, it's not it's not corny to make money. Yeah. So anyway, I have a question. Can I go back? Yeah. Yeah. I want to hear what you have to say. Oh, I was just going to say when you bring up Hans and Franz, I will every once in a while go hiking. It's been a while, but hiking with Hans.

Kevin Nealon. Yeah. Do you keep in touch with him? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Anyone that's part of your team when you're there, they're like your soldier buddies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But the sweetest person I've just, you know, I he married. I went through the grounding system with his wife, Susan. So so, you know, I kind of got to know him later on once they were together. But man, what a what a sweet.

So delightful. And such throwaway dry jokes. He's so clever. He just says stuff. So funny. When we would do Hans and Franz, and it was really Kevin's driving element of it that...

Once we were on the phone laughing about it, we were trying to create characters. And when Kevin said, yeah, and if you don't think we could do this, we could very easily come to your house. Once we knew we were never going to lift weights, we were only going to scream at this imaginary. We're so paranoid. And if you doubt us, we will do this. But right as we were at the music, we're getting the, we got Stefan,

We're on 8-H. We're about to start the sketch. And Kevin's just being Kevin Nealon. And then he would look at me and I swear his whole face, his IQ would go down like 100 points, like in a second. Always made me laugh right before we started. He would just like cross his eyes or something. But he instantly became incredibly stupid. Hear me now, believe me later. I like that one. Listen to me now, believe me later. Yeah, let me tell you something. We could stretch your buttocks out. You know, we could light your butt. You're lucky there's not a campfire here because your buttocks are like soft like marshmallows, you know.

That one I did like. I didn't feel... I like Hansa Klotz. That one, I like the humor, but can we just for a second... One second. I don't want to lose...

Did you have a McBlooper reel? These sketches that I looked at, I mean, let's take one of them. Or you can pick one you want to talk about. Yeah, or just one you want to talk. No, you pick it. You pick it. You pick it. Well, just quickly. I want to go back and turn it around and ask you guys a couple questions. That's allowed. This is a conversation, I guess. Okay. John, well, I just mentioned a few. The sex offender thing is...

crazy brilliant the the spelling bee thing how long it went on in the multiple layers of laughs as the audience you know and then Jack Black singing at the end the dancing when they sit out not only was your dancing and the coach so fucking funny but then when Peyton Manning got up and I guess he's six four to forty and how how light on his feet was like that double double right so talk about any of those

I can't pick a favorite. I'll go in order. The, the, uh, uh, spelling bee was one I used to do at the ground links for years and years. And I, I, uh,

you know, probably definitely one of my two or three favorites of things I used to do at the ground. Like, so I kept trying to put it up at the show and, and I didn't get up. Oh no, no, no. You, you, you, for people who don't know what the process is like, you put something up once,

If it goes well at the table, sometimes it just doesn't get picked. But you can put it up maybe a second time. But if it doesn't get picked after the second time, then you just don't put it up again. It's a little stinky. Go ahead. How many times? I put it up five times. Oh, gross. Okay. Five times. Embarrassing.

And then Jack Black was the final person. And he said, oh, we got to do this. So I, you know, we wrote him the song at the beginning, but it was, it was so fun to get to do that there. Cause yeah, it just, it, it makes, it kind of reminds you of the long,

the long journey from groundlings to the, I don't know. It's very fun to do that there. I think cowbell, Will's cowbell, the other Will, cowbell, didn't that, it, they, either it got canned after the dress show or whatever, but it took a while. And then when walking came in, it just went boom. Yeah. I remember hearing that. Having a host on your team helps. Yeah.

I'm sorry. And we can't imagine another human being saying more cowbell better than walking. I felt funny. It was when you said, can you spell it was hilarious. And then when you, uh,

And then when you were doing the letters, I pictured Wally or someone just holding a million cue cards, just going, I'm like, I hope it's not one letter per card. Or did you have it memorized from the ground? The scary thing about that is, is I remembered going out on stage. It was really in a area. It was the last thing before the musical performance. It was the Christmas show. And I remembered looking down. It was like, it was like,

1252 or something. We were going out there. I knew that Neil Young still had to perform a whole song and then they had to see everything. They had to see the whole ice skating stuff. They wanted to

shoot us down. This is great inside baseball. So I was like, I probably would have gone on for another, you know, 45 seconds or something. Oh, really? That was a short version? Anyway. Yeah, I just was in the back of my mind. I was like,

are they going to give me this thing? And, and then, you know, sometimes every once in a while, they'll cut off a sketch, like in the middle of it. It doesn't happen very often, but, but to your performance, you know, as someone who does this, it just, you were so patient. Yeah. You, you never pushed, you never blink. You never, I mean,

You were so straight with it. On a sketch, you're supposed to be speeding up quietly, like on the side. You know, the pressure's like, get the fuck off, get this thing done. And you're like, nope, this is how slow it goes. And it's not funny if I don't. And it's easy for a performer to, sorry, David, to pull the ripcord a little bit and slightly wink or do something a little high pitched or try to get a little laugh in the middle because, but you never, you never, you told the line. It's like,

You never, ever, ever winked at all. I think they know with Will, it's going to be like that. Go ahead. No, just for sure, having a chance to do that so many, I must have done that 40 or 50 times at the ground length. So it really gives you- The pacing? I don't know. You get a little confidence in what it is and clarity on what it is that

And I don't know if that was... I mean, I wouldn't compare it at all, but Church Lady's almost like a vaudeville sketch, but whatever. But I'd done it in the clubs as part of my stand-up. And then the minute Victoria Jackson said something, and then I said, well, isn't that special? And I got to laugh like I did in the club. It did totally... It helped really relax me.

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What was your first thing you ever did on the show? Do you remember that very first thing? It was the very first thing. I came on the show with Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks. It was our very first show. We were in the cold opening.

And I was a game show psychic. So Phil was the game show host. Jan was playing like a frumpy, you know, motherly character. And I was like this kind of a genius. Like I would answer before Phil could ask the question.

So at one point I, I, I, and I was doing a Garth type character based on my brother. I go meteor, you know, and he hadn't even asked the question meteor. Oh no, we have to ask the question. You know, meteor. And then this giant meteor came down and killed Jan or something. But that was my, that was my first one. And, um,

I was levitating. I mean, I wasn't quite in my body. You know, I mean, I was like anyone else. I was playing at a pizza parlor. I was barely, it was just a standup in July. And then suddenly I'm with Saturday Night Live. So tell us your experience with your first thing on SNL. Mine was, I was in a,

a sketch. It was Matt Damon was hosting and it was a sketch about Hannibal Lecter in college. And I was, I all I have to say is, dude, I told you he was gay. That's the only thing I had to say. And I almost couldn't say the words. I couldn't remember. I saw it coming up and I'm like, is my mouth, are the muscles going to remember what to do? And somehow it came out, but it was fucking terrifying. Remember what color you were on your cue cards?

I used to ask for green. No, I asked for blue, I think. I think I was green. I think it was green. Yeah, and how funny you go, I want this. And Wally would go, I think Wally was there for you guys, but he would go, what do you want? Wally Fierston. And I watch Farley squint his head. I go, you're actually hurting your head. You're squinting so hard. Because he wouldn't wear his glasses. And I go, at some point, you're going to have to wear that. David, what was your first thing? My first one, thank you, Will.

Dana never asked me questions about me. Dana. Heard it. Been there. I was...

Well, I was brought on with Rob Schneider in the end of the season for four shows. So I went a week ahead and watched one. I saw Lovett's and I watched just to see what it was like, even though you have no idea unless you're part of it. I'm just watching going, holy shit, this moves fast. And it's smaller than you think and all this. And so I go back and I think one of those four shows, I didn't write anything that got on, maybe a few update jokes. And then

There was something about casualties of war with Michael J. Fox was coming out. So I got to do on weekend update and it went in limbo, which means you're not at the desk. You're somewhere else with a backdrop. So it looks like I'm in a jungle. And so Dennis is like, I'm fucking Spudley. Right. And now we're going out with Mike Fox or whatever casualties war. And I'm in an army uniform. Like, Hey Sarge, you gotta give me a minute on this here. You know,

Hey, we're deep in the trenches. It's perfect. Anyway, I do it. And then he goes, thanks, Mike Fox. And then, and then they go, Kenny Amon, bless his heart. I love Kenny. They forgot to put my card at the beginning. It was just a card saying featuring and you wouldn't be in the show.

I wouldn't have my name at the beginning unless I was in it. And so when I was in it, I get paid at 1500 bucks and they give me featuring up front and David's featuring David's face, but they forgot. And so people thought it was Dana or Mike Myers. They didn't know who I was. I died on that for months. And it fucking all summer. I was like, God damn. Thanks a lot. Oh yeah, Dana. I just started smoking. It was so good. Dana and Mike heard about it. And Dennis is like, they fucked you guy.

Can I say something? Your first time on camera was toward the end of the season? I had a whole thing. Yeah, it was like second to last show. You came in late in the season. It was staggered in. Did you come in at the beginning of the season? That's like Sudeikis. Sudeikis was the same thing. Had been a writer for a while and then was one of the last couple shows of his second season, I think. Got bumped up to the bigs. Yeah, I was at the beginning. I came in 2002 with Fred Armisen.

Okay. Okay. So yeah, you were the normal beginning. I don't know if you want to talk about, if you've already talked about this, but I do think it's funny that you were writing for Bonnie and Terry Turner, basically. You had nice network TV jobs, Third Rock. Oh, that was for Bonnie and Terry Turner. Oh yeah. Who wrote what movie that I was in, Dana. Yeah.

Brady Bunch? No, that was... Tommy Boy. Tommy Boy. Tommy Boy. Yeah, they were great. When you auditioned for SNL, apparently you weren't as nervous as you normally would have been because you kind of had this other job. And I guess you were...

or you did, what, what was your audition process like? Were you really nervous or were you cavalier because you were on the fence about taking the job or is that all just Wikipedia stuff? There, there was an element of it that I was not nervous for. I was doing a groundlings show during the hiatus. I was working at 70 show at the time. And so I did, did a series of groundling shows during that hiatus period and

And Lauren came to one of those shows and that was where I was super loose. And cause like I had a job and I knew that I couldn't do anything. And I also thought like, Oh, they'd never like, all right. Kind of thought, well, I'm too busy to do SNL. Yeah. Well, just like I'm contractually obligated to this other job that I love. And, and, and also like, you know,

They're not going to like me. I've got no chance anyway. I'm an acquired taste. You're a bum rock. Did you destroy that night anyway? I had this sketch that went

so well it was crazy it's what you know at the groundlings uh when you're in the main stage show you'll do a uh you'll have an opening of a show and that was the opening of this show and then you'll do the show for two or three months and this sketch went so well and then bombed every other time that i ever did it it was so just somehow meant to be it i i just got really lucky expired

Exactly. No, but then I went to, so they asked me to audition and then I was terrified going there. I, it was the scariest. Were you guys nervous to audition? Well, were you an eight age kind of doing that or where was your other audition? Okay. Oh, I was, no, the first thing was that the groundlings, what Lauren came to was just a, our set groundling show. Nobody knew that Lauren was coming. It wasn't, it wasn't a,

an SNL showcase. They just happened to show up on this night. He wore a mustache. Hello, just me. Did he bring any kind of movie star? Cause I, he had share when he saw me and with Melanie Hustle, he had Quincy Jones. Yeah. It was a little club on the West side and Lauren walked in and then share walked in and the head of the NBC network at the time, Brandon Tartikoff. Do you believe it's crazy? Did you know he was supposed to come?

I was told, and that's why I was able to get it to this little club because I'd done the whole cattle call at the comedy store a couple of times, 20 comedians doing five minutes, no MC, just one after the other. And I followed Sam Kennison at midnight. He levitated the room. Literally, there was structural damage there.

to the room. And then no one ever got my name right. And now Dana Garno, I'm not kidding, often, Dana, it was always Dana and then Garvey, Dana Garvey. So then I just complete dead silence. Isn't that special? I hear Jimmy Stewart, you know. So then Lauren's coming back around. So I wanted to go play this comedy club with a hundred people in it that was a normal audience.

And Rosie O'Donnell was headlining that week. I didn't even know her. And she agreed because I was bringing Lauren and I met her there. She seemed like she was like so worldly and confident, you know? So I said, maybe I should go on first. So I went on first, but I had 40 minutes. She's good though. She kills. She's great. And I thank her for this.

40 minutes instead of five. And that's kind of, and then I auditioned later at a studio. That's a whole nother story. Wait a second. You were supposed to do five. You did 40. No, this was a regular comedy club. So I just squeezed in and did 40. Oh, you just did a guest. And then Rosie closed and we had an MC. So that, that's why I got the show. If I'd done five minutes, no way. Cause everyone goes, we can tell if they're funny, even if they're not getting laughs. I know if they're funny. Fuck you. No, you don't. No, you don't.

So then when you go and do the audition, was it the same process? I assume it was the same thing. Do a couple of characters, do a couple of impersonations. Did you ever go into 8H, Dana?

No, I did that in LA and I did it, you know, like 10 people were there and, and Jim Carrey went up and, and Phil went up and, uh, and at a given point I ran out of stuff and Lauren said, do you have anything else? Is there anything else you have besides what we've seen? Oh, sickening. But I realized later, at least I thought I've never asked Lauren, were you testing my nerves? Did you want to see if you could handle the pressure? Uh,

But then I had a little thing called Chopping Broccoli. You mind if I play the piano? Did you play Chop Chop Broccoli at the end? You saw that the night, la. I did, of course. Chopping Broccoli. Chop, chop, chop, chop, pop, pop, pop, pop, ee. I don't want to just make sounds. That's my thing. I don't want to say words. My Biden is like, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. You know what Chopping Broccoli is to me? Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop,

It's one of those ones where I think I'm the only one that likes it. I go, this is so fucking funny. I bet no one gets it. And then everyone else is like, chopping broccoli is the funniest thing he does. I go, oh, it is? One of the all-time classics. Yeah, I know. I mean, I was thrilled just to hear with my own ears you saying that.

in a story that you're telling to me and David. She chop, she chop, she chop, she chop. It's so stupid. I've been on shows and theaters in the round and someone will hit my back and it's a stalk of broccoli. Like people being broccoli and just throw it at me. And you know your cue. You're like, chopping back up. Ha, ha, ha.

But I think Lauren liked it because it's the idea of someone running out of creative, you know, getting all this money and success and then essentially phoning it in. And you're like, sure. He liked what was behind it. But anyway, let's get back to you. I have another question for Will. Our super guest, Will Forte. Will Forte. Not to be confused with- No, I like asking your questions of you. Joe Dierte. Hey, Will. Sounds like someone should get his own podcast. I know. You're a good questioner. Oh, jeez.

Oh, you're like, I would never do. No offense. But Will, you wrote for Letterman. And my only question for that is, I actually have a couple, but I would say, is it true that you don't see Letterman much or see him at all when you write for him?

Yes, that's true. I mean, I came in, I was a lower level writer, never made it past the lower level. I was only there for about nine months. Letterman was one of my comedy sensibility shapers growing up. Oh, yeah, for sure. And we all revered David. But I just wasn't as good.

good at writing for him as I thought I would be. I thought it'd be this natural match. And I still like, he's still one of my all-time heroes, but, but yeah, I barely, you would see him if you had written a,

something that was there was going to be a pre-tape on and you had to go out on the shoot or or if you're like a department head or you know you had to run stuff by him you'd go down or if you walked a long way down the hallway exactly you run into oh i never talked to him as a guest did you talk to him as a guest either i did i went on there twice uh

Oh, no, no, no. But you did a show, though. You did a show as a guest. You mean behind the scenes. Behind the scenes. No, I don't think I ever talked to him. It was always just on air, which is I got why he wanted it to be like that. Ellen did that, too. For a second, I thought you were saying you had never been on the show. And I'm like, wait. I thought you said he went on the show and then didn't talk to Letterman. I'm like, on the show, you didn't? No, that's weird.

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Is this over? Are we starting? No, I want to. Can we? Let's see the sex offender one. That's another one. Oh, that one. So so the sex offender one, Colin Jost wrote that. I got the good fortune of being in in in that one because I, you know, for some reason he thought of me when he thought sex offender. And you can just play off kilter.

It would seem like perfect casting if you didn't write it. It was Jon Hamm and you were a creepy but awkward weirdo. And was that Colin's thing? Just a few like, but that's not me. That's you. What? That catchphrase was that. I basically did exactly as he wrote it. Like he just. Did you just do that catchphrase for a second? What? It's just a high pitched. What?

But yeah, there was something that happened, but I'm not you. You're not me. Yeah. Anyway. So the, wait, so it's, yeah. So it's a guy going up to, to trick or treat. Yeah. Dressed as a sex offender. And he's as part, he's,

So somebody's like, wait, are you a sex offender? And it's like, no, no, no. I'm dressed as a sex offender. And then, and then it comes out that he does have a form for the people to sign acknowledging that he's moving into the neighborhood. And then it's like, wait, is this part of the costume or is this like, that's like, yeah, part of the costume. Who is who in the sketch?

John Hamm was the guy who I was trying to get to sign the form. Have you ever had the host go, I like your part better. Let's switch. I'm only Glenn Close. I am. You have had a host take your... What happened? What happened? Tell the whole story. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm subtly interesting. Everyone does Hans and Franz. I did a...

Actually, that's actually sort of an interesting story because it was a sketch where I played a receptionist and I would say, oh, and you are, and you are, and this is regarding. And it was one of the ones that was hard to get on. I had put it through read-through and I couldn't get it on.

but they thought it was kind of a funny idea it wasn't just a straight set up punchline it was more of an attitude so lauren liked that and even downey liked it which helps and um i don't think it was the receptionist you have trouble getting past yeah yeah yeah he stops you because he thinks they're better than you something like that and uh so bowie was the guest as music with tin machine

So I wrote it with Bowie coming in and then they sent it to his hotel and Marcy Klein said, hey, Bowie wants to call you. There's a message in my little, we had mailboxes back then and you pull it out from NBC and it says, David Bowie, this hotel, this fake name, call him as soon as possible. I was like, oh my God, did they send it to him? I just put him in. I didn't even put it in read-through, I don't think, because he wasn't there. And so I called him.

And he answers and it's fucking Bowie. And I'm like, Hey man. And he's like, this is so fucking funny. This is the, this is so it's exactly my life. And these people I see. And he goes one tweak. Can I play the receptionist? And he goes, that's the funnier part. And I go, Oh, well, and he goes, I mean, I just come in as David Bowie. It's kind of boring. Everyone's seen that. It's fucking stupid. And I go, he goes, you could play me.

And I go, I mean, I could. And I said, I said, no, you said no. The fucking balls of this little pussy. When Neil Young asked to play the church lady, I just put my foot down. I said, Neil, I'm sorry. This is my man. I love you like a brother. No, but literally you said no to him. I said no. I am the most colossal pussy ask anyone. And I was like, I just can't. I go, you know how it's like,

like a character like Wayne's World or something like you want to do it again and he goes yeah yeah okay sure and he was not rude he was just like disappointed okay well playing myself isn't that fun you know whatever and I go I get it and he goes okay all good

And then the rest of the week I wasn't in the show and I was like, fuck. And then I'd see Bowie and he's like, anyway, Gene, Gene, you're out of control. And so I got, and then at good nights he said, hey, sorry, man. I kind of, I get what was going on and I shouldn't have been like a little chilly about it. Wow. Now it's like a sweet full circle. I used to see him. I saw him. He was at my young comedian special in the audience when Dennis hosted and

in the audience and watching. And then I saw him with Bobcat. I went to his house. So I'd seen him, I think before that, just briefly. So it wasn't too terrifying. It was still weird to call him, but to shut him down.

And then after that, it was just weird. And then they never go, you might, and he goes, well, what if the sketch never gets on? I'm like, God, how do you know the show this well? It's so true. What if it doesn't get on? I'm fucking blowing it. He's like, it'll get on if I do it. I said it before, but I ran into him and Jagger with Dennis and Lovitz at the- Jesus. The cafe after the show. Oh, there's Bowie and Jagger. Bowie and Jagger smoking a joint at the Columbus Cafe. Two biggest stars on this planet. He says-

We're very famous, you know. And then Jager kind of liked the girls with Dennis or whatever. But then we went downtown with Bowie to a disco type place. Oh, they wanted to dance, right? He showed us how to plant your left foot.

And do a spin. So he was another one off a genius, like in his own lane, miracle of talent. Just wanted to throw that in there for the fail side. When Corey Feldman was at Cantor's, I walked right up to him. Those are, that is basically my level of story. I told her, listen, buddy. All right.

Sorry. No, believe me. Those things, you know, when you're in SNL, some people come to the show, you walk by and you go, like at the 40th, I was shocked. I was saying to Dana, like, for once, I almost felt comfortable talking to people that are out of my range because they were on my turf for once. And it was like, hey. It is.

I, that year was when the movie Nebraska came out and I, Oh my God, I forgot about that. Congratulations. Brilliant. Thanks. I somehow got to, got to be a part of that movie. It's, I still have no idea how, and then got to go to the Oscars because it was nominated. And that was the same year of the 40th and the 40th was way cooler than the Oscars.

Yeah, 40th is big. But it was, you know, like the Oscars, I feel like I have no business being there. And then, you know, and then I'm at the 40th and I did feel a little bit of ownership, like, hey, I'm a part of this thing. And even, you know, and I still, you know, bowed down to all you guys. I mean, just you guys were the ones who paved the way for all of us, you know, down the road. So I was still so nervous around

around you guys. And Dana, I remember, I'll always remember this moment. We got to meet at the after party for the first time. And then we're talking for a while and somebody's playing a Prince song in the background. And I'm not really paying attention because I'm just, you know, in denial.

very excited to talk to you. And then after a while, there's like, you know, this person is playing a couple Prince songs. And then after a while, you're realizing, oh, this isn't somebody playing a Prince song. This is Prince playing a Prince song. That was so big. And so we both kind of realized, oh, maybe we should go into this room because we were, I don't know, 20 yards away from this ballroom where Prince had just been

ripping it up for 20 minutes. It was like Fallon was up there and everybody got up and jammed with Fred. Everywhere you look, someone was famous. It was a throbbing, gigantic... Let's not do plus ones. Let's keep it famous.

I remember talking with Glenn Close and Sigourney Weaver and they were just seemed like two nice women. They probably feel out of place too, you know, because everyone's everyone shrinks down a little bit, except if you're Paul McCartney or something, you know, just, you know, no matter where you are, you're like, I'm the fucking King. But I talked to Billy Crystal. Everyone seems smaller. And, but in the same time, if you're a veteran of it and I, I hate military analogies cause it's not, but in the pantheon of show business, uh,

you know, there's that little like, oh, you were there. You know what it's like to, you know, have a cotton mouth and have to do a sketch or fall down or the cue cards are torn in half or someone throws up on you. So that is cool. You could talk to anyone about SNL like we're doing. We call anybody and when...

They talk, you know, immediately, even if you weren't there with them, you go, oh, is this kind of the same way when you go back by the page? Just like, yeah, everything's the same. It's all the same. I like that. I love that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Everything's the same. It's a shorthand.

Did you have a celebrity person that you were most excited to meet over those seasons or kind of starstruck or just someone that was sort of a thrill to... Because I got to sit with Willie Nelson once and sing with him and have him learn a song. That was like, I remember thinking, this is an SNL type moment. This is weird. This is happening to me. It took me several years to relax. I mean, it was very interesting to...

coming in with Fred Armisen because Fred was the exact opposite. He seemed just so immediately ready to perform and so excited to get up on stage. And I was just terrified from week to week. And I would enjoy it as I looked back on it.

Oh yeah. He's fantastic. And, but then the, you know, the summers would come, he couldn't wait for the summer to end and get back to the next season. I get so stressed and like July, I'm like, ah, it's coming. And I load up, I have one sketch ready. And then I go, I'm ready this year. And I got one, the week two, I'm like,

What the fuck? I'm nothing. I'm so over. Oh, yeah. And you go in, you go to the final show in May and you're like, I'm going to spend every day just like a half hour thinking up ideas. I might not even turn them into full sketches, but I'm going to come in with so many ideas. And, you know, you, of course, don't do any of that. I would call Marcy and go, who's the host? Who's the host? Who have you booked yet? You know, just to get a head start.

I think it was my second season. The cast was in 8-H and we had these reporters there, like a little press conference. Do you have any new characters? And on the spot I said, I don't, but I have a new catchphrase, which was, I got to, got to, got to, got to go. And they took it serious. It was in the New York Post and stuff. Like it was a thing. They didn't realize. And then Jan was my sidekick. Funny little poopy head was my name and her name was Mrs. Funny little poopy head. And she, I'd go, I got to, got to, got to go. And she would say, and I'm going with them.

And they took it. They thought it was great. Catchphrases are decided by the audience, basically. But I'm with you guys. I feel like it's a gathering storm in a sense, a sense of anxiety when the season's starting and how will you do it? Never left me. I think I kind of, I think I was pretty good the last 30 shows. I think the first hundred was still...

trying to get really relaxed. But I think what happens is the audience discovers you and you get more relaxed and it kind of builds on itself. You see it with a new cast member. 'Cause they probably, at some point, Will, when the audience saw you come in and knew your sensibility, like by the time the Halloween thing came in, it seemed like the audience saw you and just went, "Oh,

It's Will. We love him. I mean, it gets relaxing at that point, right? Certainly, I think there's a point when that happens. But my point happened a little bit later because the stuff I would write would be so weird. It would always be the stuff toward the end of the show. So it just took longer. I mean, I think there are some people after I left the show that just didn't know that I had left the show because they had never really seen me that much in the show anyway. Well, Dana was saying a nice compliment to you that...

Oh, no, I'm thinking of someone else. No, he was saying a nice comment about you where he said, you know, because...

you have sort of a different vibe. So when you go out there, first of all, what I would say is people know it's coming. So when you're doing a bit, they're like, this bit is going to go sideways in a weird way where it's not the predictable structure, which is good. You know, it might go zigzag where you don't see it coming. And then also he said, you remind him a little bit of Jack Handy, which I think is a genius. I think we both do. Oh my God, that's a huge compliment. And being like, we'd see him in read-through and he's so quiet sitting in the corner and he's kind of giggling. He's got little glasses. And then they go...

impending doom or whatever. And it was some sketch and it was so fucking bananas. And we're all like, God damn, I'm going to quit writing. Cause I don't even know what he's doing. Everything is funny. And it's so weird. My first one was me and Kevin were like, there was a launch pad with a rocket and we were the guys with the binoculars and like, okay, 10, nine, eight. And then Lassie would wander underneath the rocket. Oh, wait, hold on. You know? And then it was, then it was Hitler. Okay. We're going. And then it was, uh,

Hitler holding the Mona Lisa and Lassie. It was just, you know, just so brilliant. Oh my God, that's so awesome. So you have a thing where you got a little, you've got a different vibe, which is good to have. Oh man. Well, I mean. Talk about that dance you did when you were the coach. He says you're like Hitler basically. Like how did you come up with how funny that dance was? I can't even describe it.

So, so the dance, uh, do you guys know John Lutz? Lutz was in the show 30 rock. He played one of the writers, John Lutz. So he was a writer on the, on

on the show SNL and and then and now he writes for Seth Meyers but he was he came to me and he had that song Casino Royale and said we got to do something with this song and I had had this idea this was also back from the groundlings of just a coach who wanted to give a motivational speech and use something really stupid as the motivation so we married those two together we

We wrote the whole sketch. The dance was not even part of it. The dance, it was just like I was going to listen to the song for a long time. And right as we were about to do the sketch, I think it was right before the table read, he said, hey, why don't you dance during the song? Just start dancing just so people don't get bored during the song. And I said, yeah, you're probably right. That's probably a good idea. So that was a total afterthought.

um and then and then when we did it throughout the week i i'm sure you guys are are it it was never quite i mean it was it was the idea that we loved but it just wasn't hitting for some reason and and uh lauren even said it was it went well enough in dress rehearsal that he said you know he put it in the show but he did say you should cut down on the

the dance a little bit. And then for some reason, this was, you know, most of the time, so many times you'll do the best version of the sketch at dress rehearsal and then the live show will be let down. This was like one of the only times that I, that, that the sketch actually was the best version. And it was just like a straight up arc and,

And somehow the dance moves were flowing like wine and nice and crisp. And I was so excited by how it went. I went longer than I was supposed to, but I think he was fine because I just kind of felt it out. The team was not into it. They were playing it very real and disappointed. And then your exuberance. And I refer to that as funny with the sound off. I'm sure there's other ways to put it, physical comedy. Oh, that's cool.

Funny with the sound off means the audience is not listening for a punchline or anything. They have permission to just really laugh hard. It's the I love Lucy and the grapes or the chocolates. And when I did Massive Head Wound Harry,

The air show was the same thing with the dog. And, you know, I'm working with an animal going crazy. And that was just the longest laugh I'd ever got because they knew what I was in. And I did not want the prosthetic to fly off because then that would be that secondary joke and the sketch. It works so well. So I was just decided to hold it. And then the dog went to town.

So it was funny to sound... That sketch too, when you were doing dancing like that, it was that kind of thing. Like, I just get to really laugh. You know, hang on. By the way, that doll, after that sketch, Bill, I was right next to... I mean, what did I say, Bill? Will? I was right next to the stage and the dog walked by and he goes, follow that motherfucker. I go...

Jesus Christ. This dog's going to be a cast member? Well, they put more goo on the thing. They put more dog food goo in his head. Yeah, a very smugly trick or something to put all this extra stuff. You'll have fun out there. That was one of the hardest kills. Smigel wrote that? I'm not sure if it was maybe Schneider or Smigel. I'm not sure. I don't want to say because I'm not sure if it was a group effort.

but I was a participant in that as the through line and just lucky to be in the sketch. Oh, you were in the right fucking place. Oh, I was. Yeah. Sometimes they just are getting pennies from heaven. That was it. Yeah. It was great. That was one of the all time. Great. We were talking about will. And then we went into that. No, I love it. I love it. All time. Great. SNL talk is funny. I like it all. My sound went out for a second. All time. What? Yeah.

You know, I had a glitch. It's a Wi-Fi issue. No, it's such a mutual thing. Have you ever heard people think you're weird or stuff? Because I had it once at SNL. Like literally maybe slightly off or perverted or something's wrong with you. Oh, sure. All the time. All the time. Family members. Tell me your experience. I'll tell you my experience.

Oh, just no. I, well, especially during, during you already brought up that hairdo I had to have for last man on earth, which I did to myself. Like I thought it'd be a,

fun idea. So, and then I had to have it for a month. So you'd be walking along, you know, most of the time we, it was such a crazy work schedule that I would just be kind of going back and forth to work. But every once in a while, you got to go to the store, you got to go to fucking Ralph's. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's people, people, people already kind of,

thought were, were nervous by the length of the beard before I had to shave off half of it. Yeah. So people at home listening, it was half, it was directly down the middle of your face. One side was like long hair and a long beard, right?

Yeah. One, one total hairiness, uh, like the brawny, brawny guy. Yeah. Well, brawny guy plus a year of hair growth. And then the other side is completely, uh, right down the middle, completely shaved, uh, eyebrow gone. Oh, eyebrow too sick. Oh yeah. Dad, I had sent a picture. Okay, that seals the deal. We shaved it on a Sunday afternoon and, and,

And I was everyone was warning me about the eyebrow. But then I sent a picture to my dad just to say, hey, look at that. Look what your son is looking like right now. And he said, oh, you're keeping the eyebrow, huh? That's a great dad voice. Yeah. No. So I had to. Oh, because you had to come in all the way. Daddy. Daddy said to shave the eyebrow. I love that. I love that. Mine's not quite like that. It was just it was involved. Steve Martin.

And very quickly, I, I church lady would say penis a lot when I was doing the clubs. And then the censorship guy, Mr. Clockworthy said, you can't, can't say penis so much. So then I started to write your naughty bulbous area and you're willing and throbbing buttocks. And so I was in retail and Steve Martin was three feet away.

And I'm just digging into, and he's next to Lorne, I'm digging into the church lady, because it was early days with the character, and you're naughty, bulbous, and your wicked, throbbing member is going, you know. And I was getting into it, and I heard Steve say to Lorne under his breath, what kind of mind thinks of this? Yeah.

Steve, one of our favorites. Naughty and bulbous and throbbing and engorged. Pulsating. It became really pornographic compared to just saying penis. Engorged, your engorged loaf is throbbing and willing. Loaf. What a sick fervor. And the censorship guy was, attaboy, attaboy. That is so funny that the guy who,

was in the friggin' jerk and wrote the I mean, how would he say that? You would think, oh, that's right up his alley. I took it as an incredible compliment. I mean, that jerk for a year, that's one of my favorite all-time movies. He had a kindred spirit with you with the absurdity of the weird, crazy, a man with two brains. Yeah, he was an abstractionist.

You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner.

just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites. And I think eHarmony does great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get who gets you on eHarmony. Sign up today. I'm a nibbler, Dana. And I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios...

are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up. They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Ooh. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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Does it fucking drive you crazy? Excuse my swearing. I'm sorry, but it really traps my eye that when the, the, the, the, uh, when, when, uh, the standards and practices would say, Oh, you can't, you can't say, uh,

penis that many times. But to me, it's like, oh, if you can say penis once on TV, you can say penis for the entire 30 minutes. Why? What's like if you can say a word, say it like we for Last Man on Earth, there was a goat piss joke that Sudeikis had told

And then he improvised off the script and said goat piss again. And it made sense for the story, but they wouldn't let us say goat piss. That's not Fox. A second time. Just two of the word pisses. And it was fine to say piss. You just couldn't say it twice. It just drove me crazy. Yeah, that was Fox. Ours evolved that eventually, which it took a while to get on. I think Tom Hanks was the host, but it was a nudist colony. So we all were shirts off.

And we were all just commenting on each other. Nice penis. Hey, looking good today. Oh, I remember that. Thanks a lot. Nice penis. And so we said it 300 times. So eventually I missed a clock where the game up at some point. That's your thoughts for the eye to Andrew Brewer.

Oh, Brewer was a ball buster, man. Brewer was, he's always like, guys, I'm trying to be your friend here. No, I didn't have- Mr. Clockworthy had Buster Brown shoes and little glasses and a bow tie. Who was yours, Will? You know what? I can't remember who would-

God, who was the... Because they would come right up to us and say, hey, Spade, I just read your weekend update. You cannot do... I'm like, whoa. Start always shock. What? No. Yeah. I said pussy and then he...

yeah whatever but i well you you put in pussy five or ten times and go okay i'll just do three yeah that's a classic trick yeah it's like what the politicians do this package is gonna cost 10 trillion that's insane all right five trillion oh it's not so much what a bargain that's a that's that's pocket change yeah but that's and and i remember during uh

God, my standards and practice things that I remember much more clearly from the last man on earth stuff. There was, we had, there was when I was there, you couldn't have people having sex.

But you could like you could excuse me. You could have people having sex, but they couldn't be moving at all. So you couldn't even tell. So if Kristen Schaal and I had sex, we'd have to basically say, oh, I'm having such great sex with you currently right now. You know, moving much. But then what you could do is you could do the exact same thing. But if you put it in the script.

If you put it in the script that you're having sex, then you can't really move around at all. But if you just say are engaged in foreplay, you can be doing the exact same thing, but then be moving around a little bit. It was just so maddening all the time. Yeah. Prime time. Now you got to go to live streaming and there's other rules now, though, because, you know, there's just a lot of sensitivity. Put it that way.

Oh, man, with Peacock, they're quite risque. I was about to say, I saw your trailer, and I'm like, this looks like it's going to be pretty rough on the edges. Oh, yeah. No, it is essentially they let us do whatever we wanted to do. Yeah, it's very hard. Harder.

I love it. Is it because you pay for Peacock and they and so they there's like a barrier they're gone? Yeah, I guess so. Like we could never do it for NBC. Right. But because it's their streaming service, I guess there's, you know, you can. The fans of the movie are going to come over and the movie was R, right?

Yeah, the movie's super R, and so it's basically the same tone as the movie. But yeah, Peacock's been awesome and really fun to work with, and none of that stuff

you know, we're just very excited because it's, it's kind of impossible to, to do this character after the movie without, without quite a bit of swearing and, and dirty, dirty scenarios. I like super R that should be a new rating. Yeah. Super R. Yeah. Super R.

Yeah. All right. Well, good luck with that one. That's going to be fucking cool. And any other questions or Dana, what do you got? Anything? You got any questions for us or anything? We never know how to wrap up. Yeah. We're just saying we did your, we did, you did a good hour. You're fucking entertaining and it's good to dig deep and no more shit. Oh man. I, I guess my question is, so Dana, you're, you are, you come down here from time to time because I did, I did text with Kevin Nealon and,

uh last week and said hey we should go we should we haven't hiked in a long time we should we should do a hike so if you guys would i guess what i'm asking is i'll do it with you hang out would like to get a hike on the books yeah i just want to let you know my resting pulse is 39 not a joke i i hike really hard because i was in track now did you run in high school or you were swimming i didn't

I was a swimmer and I played football. But we didn't have a hike club or else I probably would have joined it.

I was a distance runner, so I take that. But if I was doing it with you and Kevin, we would just stroll and talk. Kevin has to hold like waters and he holds like a camera in front of him. The drone with one hand. Drone. He's barking outdoors and he's like, so tell me. And I'm like, Kevin, I can't even walk this fast. I asked him, I swear to God, can we do it in a parking lot? I go, it's just about the interview because my neck is all fucked up. I go, I don't want to go fucking Mount Everest.

and the Iger sanction. Let's just walk around Kmart. And he's like, no, what's the difference? Maybe tilt the camera. We think we're walking around. The last time he lured me up to this real poison. Okie play. Like you're like, he said, there's a ton of poison. And that's the one thing that I'm very allergic to poison Oak. So I had to basically wear a full, full body. You don't have to make excuses. He's like, you want to go to scorpion junction? Yeah.

No, I go where Nealon tells me to go. Rattlesnake Hills. By the way, that was also, uh, now Dana, David and I got to go. I had run into Tim Meadows at, uh, we, we go to the same gym and I saw him and we got a little dinner together. And so David came, it was me and hater and Tim Meadows and David and Molly Shannon came and wait, what a game. That was a good little mix. Yeah.

It was kind of like this getting to talk about different eras of the show. And just, it was so much fun. We should do another one of those too. That's kind of why we're doing this podcast because you just, it's, it's ridiculous when you are fans of people and people are messing out and friends that you don't see, uh,

And you wait until maybe you're at some award show or the 50th. This will, even if I don't see you between now and the 50th, I guess we're all going there. Then I'll go, well, you know, just cause it's coming up, which is, I mean, it's, it's, it's what it's gotta be three years or something. What are you going to wear? I mean, a full tuxedo or what are you guys thinking? Am I going to do Garth? Let's do it. They,

They better bring Vaseline and cotton swabs on that lens. Did you say that Garth is my brother, Brad? Your brother? Yeah. Oh, wow. If we put him on the phone, he would talk like this. I used to do him in my stand-up act. Yeah, I could make a nuclear weapon with a paper clip. That's why Garth had a stun gun and all that in Wayne's World 1. That was all from Brad advising me how would Garth make a homemade stun gun because he was kind of a MacGyver kid.

Brad was. Oh, wow. That is awesome. And he must be flattered by it. Oh, yeah. Does he like it? OK. He invented the first prototype of an at home video editing system called the Video Toaster.

with a man named Tim Jennison. So we were on magazine covers together when I was doing Garth. And yeah, it's very flattering because Garth, who wouldn't want to be Garth? That's a character that I would like to just be him or hang out with him. He's so loyal and fun. He got some pluses. Yeah. He's just so nice. He needs real support. He always has some pretty girl in the movie like, really Garth? And he's like, yeah.

- I remember Kristen Wiig at the 40th, she goes, "Why does he hold his jaw like that?" And I go, "Cause Brad, all his anxiety is right here." - Is it stress or something? - I guess, but it is a little painful. - 'Cause it makes it funnier? She should know, she's fucking hilarious.

She's great. The best of the best. She's certainly in the conversation. There are certain people that are so good at Saturday Night Live, there shouldn't be ratings, but it's fun to go, oh, you're number three? I'm number 10. That are just as good as anyone's ever done it. And I would put Mr. Will Forte in that category unless someone else comes along and does this, what I'm looking at. Look at that shit.

Look at that. Did you see the word old? I did all that. Yeah. All right. I can't see it anymore. Nice to meet you, Dana. And if you ever want to do a dinner with or without Dana, let me know. I would love that. I would love that. And I'll tell Kevin, I would like to go for a hike with you guys or a dinner.

Yeah. I, okay. That's fantastic. I'm going to, I'll talk with him and we'll, we will get in touch with you and figure it out. I'm here almost all the time and I'll hike and then we'll, I'll meet you guys for dinner. You guys, it is such an honor to do this with you. Thank, thank you for wanting me to come on. You guys are really fun, freaking the best. And I could ask, I could ask you so many more questions and we'll,

At dinner. So this might lead you to say no to this hike and dinner, but just a thrill.

I find everything to do with Saturday Night Live interesting, really, weirdly enough, only because, which I say many times, it's like experientially the height of what you could do on planet Earth unless you're a Navy SEAL or something. It's just this adrenal, bizarre, live, weird show. So nothing like it. That's why Tracy Morgan, when I run into him, he goes, hey, alum, how you doing, alum? That's the way he looks at it.

part of the team all right well go about your day kiss your baby and your wife in what particular order doesn't matter uh via lumps have fun oh he just left okay all right we did it this has been a podcast presentation of cadence 13 please listen then rate review and follow all episodes available now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks

Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.