Bedside Barbie, BSN, RN, & Just A Girl.
57:44 Share

♪

Hey guys, welcome back to Friends and Enemas. My name's Lindsay, I'm your host, and who do I have with me? My name's Olivia, I go by Budside Barbie on Instagram and TikTok. You guys should go give her a follow. Oh, maybe. How long have you been a nurse? I've been a nurse for like a year and a half now. Okay, do you consider yourself a new grad still? Well, I'm new to the ER, so I did kind of get like a new round of being a new grad. I don't think I'm like a new grad nurse. I feel pretty comfortable. Yeah.

But yeah, new to the ER now. Okay, I love that. So you went from where to the ER? MedSurg TeleObservation. How do you feel about that? MedSurg TeleObservation? Yeah. It was a really good first job. I really liked the people that I worked with.

but a five-to-one with people that are sometimes not sick at all and you just get to wait on them hand and foot, not my favorite thing. Yeah. Do you get that in the ER too? I think it can be common, but it's not been so common in my two months of experience. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, people will come in with a chief complaint that might be

not needed to be in the hospital. But they're not so much like weight on me hand and foot in my experience. So what made you decide to jump from MedSearch Tele over to ER? Well, I've always wanted to work in the ER. I went to nursing school to be in the ER and I just took the MedSearch Tele job as a new grad because that was like the new grad position that was open. They didn't have any ER positions. So

at like any of the hospitals that I wanted to work at. So I took that and I got my experience and now I'm in the ER and I'm literally so happy. That's awesome. I'm glad. I definitely, I mean, I've talked about it a lot recently, but when I first started, it was either ICU or ER. I knew that right off the bat, but I got my job in the ICU first. So that's what I went with. But I've always been curious about the ER. I'm ER curious. Yeah.

you should do it it's so fun i think you would love it like all the stuff that you talk about like hating the charting and hating the like all of the extras you would love that yeah that's what i think it's just like fix them and move them yeah put them in the er and that's you exactly like you just stabilize them to get them up there and then they take over you're not doing an ipoc you're not doing yeah you're not doing all the extra stuff or like admission paperwork no none of that

That's kind of where I'm... I mean, you have to ask the suicide question, the do you drink alcohol, but none of the extra stuff. None of the full admin work. Yeah, no, none of that. Have you always wanted to be a nurse? Yeah. When I was 10, I wrote out... I don't even know what it was. I wrote out a little list of my life goals, and I said that I wanted to become a doctor and cure cancer. So I've always wanted... Big aspirations. Big goals. Yeah.

Um, but I've always wanted to work in medicine. And then in high school, I got a little bit more serious about what I wanted my life to look like. And nursing is so much more free. It's less schooling. Graduated at 21, started making good money at 21. I eventually want to have a family and stay home for a period of time and or work like per diem. Yeah. So nursing is so flexible. Also travel nursing exists.

Yeah, there's so many options for it. You kind of remind me of a...

younger Ashley Adkins because that kind of was her story too she graduated nursing school young she's been a nurse for like 10 plus years or something she wanted a family now she works part time and I'm like if she works part time I didn't know yeah yes so she's like living her dream and I feel like you're on your way to doing that yeah because how old are you again I'm 22 now you're 22 so that yeah I guess I could have done the math on like you said how long you were a nurse and then I could be 23 girl math no

Is there any other specialty that you could see yourself...

in beyond here well I when I was trying to transition out of med telly I was going to apply to ICU at my hospital if they didn't take me in the ER at my hospital because sometimes they're kind of picky about who they pick so I thought it was kind of a long shot but I was going to go ICU but I shadowed there and it just it wasn't for me but it was going to be good like career wise so yeah

No, I can totally understand what you mean though, because I think at one point I wanted to start in the PICU, but after my first clinical there, that's when I was like, I don't think I could do this the whole time. And not that it would be the whole time, but my experience, that shift was pretty poor. Just a lot of abuse cases on the floor, that shift. And I was like, I feel like if I...

were to stay there, I'm going to end up in jail. Like how do they, those nurses are saints to me. Cause I'm like, how do you deal with people that suck and they have kids, you know? So I, it kind of threw me off. And whenever I went to the ICU, I was like, oh, okay. I definitely love the ICU. I love the critical thinking. I love the adrenaline, but like you said, the charting,

the kind of overbearing management, I feel like that's not typical in the ER. No, not at all. And also, I personally don't like having the same person for months and months and months. Yeah. Could not do that. No, the thing I like about the ER is it's kind of like every patient population, like how you're saying you don't want to work in the PICU because you're seeing the same type of thing all over and over.

You're seeing, like, I've had two kids in the ER. Like, why have I had kids now? I don't know. I've had probably, like, 10 plus OB patients. You have people that are 22. You have people that are 97. So I like the broad range and also getting people in and out. And you're not, like, forming these deep relationships with people that, like, that can be great, but not everyone you want to form a deep relationship with. Absolutely. And we want some, like, touch and go type things. Yeah.

Are you cool with talking about pay? Yeah. How much do you make as a new girl or how much has anything changed from when you first started to now pay wise?

Uh, yeah. So at my new grad job, I made $31 an hour base pay. That's like pretty standard. Um, and then after a year we got bumped up to like 37, 36, 50, something like that. I work night shift. So my, like I get the 18%. So my like memory is kind of skewed. Um, and now the ER was a $3 bonus. So my base pay is like 40, 83 or something like that. Awesome. But night shift is an 18% differential. So it's,

even more and more. Yeah. It's pretty good. That is pretty good. We're in Arizona for anyone listening. I always, I'm trying to start throwing that in here now. Like where, where do you work? Not the hospital, but the state and how much do you make with your experience? Because it's like hot topic of conversation. Mm-hmm.

So I feel like that's good. I don't think there's that much more room for me to grow. There's like a little bit, but now like I kind of got to the benchmark and now it's like you're going to make really small increments for the rest of your life unless you do something drastic. Yeah. And I feel like something that a lot of people don't realize is that, um,

when you feel like you're not going to get any more raises, like after you get experience, if your priority is getting more money, you can move hospitals. And for some reason, moving hospitals back and forth for a year here, a year there, a year back at the same place, you get more money versus if you stayed there. Yeah. Which is so weird and backwards. So sick and twisted. If you travel, you'll just make...

Way more money on top of that. Yeah. Even just like local travel contracts and stuff like that. Yeah, exactly. Or if you're like at your hospital system, if you're a traveler there, like at my hospital system, they make like $5 more no matter what floor they work on. It's like that plus $5. Yeah. That's cool. That is cool. Working in the ER, are you ever concerned about...

Like, assault of any kind. And I only bring it up because I don't know if you heard about the nurse in North Carolina that was assaulted by a patient recently and, like, broke her leg, choked her out, slammed her to the ground, and she was in the ED. And I feel like most of the time, not to say other units don't get assaulted as well, but...

It's the ED that nurses are getting assaulted in. Do you have any experience in that or what's your take on it? I have kind of always been worried, not worried, but like it's a real thing since I stepped foot in the hospital. There was one unit that I worked on on my old job. Like we had like multiple that we staffed. One of them that we were in the back, there were only two nurses up there that night and they brought in a middle-aged young ish

big man that was high on meth and aggressive and security brought him with the ER nurse and then said bye and I made a call I said whoa that's not acceptable because he's sitting in there screaming yelling and there's just me and one other nurse and the one tech and I was like and we're in the middle of nowhere in the hospital and I was like this is not not okay no so no I've never felt um

particularly safe in any part of the hospital. Some people are going to say I'm crazy, but at my specific hospital, I feel more safe in the ER because there's 9 million people at all times. It's such a busy, big ER. And also security just sits down there. They're always within arm's reach. So no, I don't feel as scared. I mean, obviously like...

obviously like thing. Yeah. And I feel more protected in the ER than I did on the floor. Good. Good. Um, like I said, I bring that up because of the recent things about, um,

health attacks on healthcare workers and I just feel like it's happening more and more or maybe it's happening the same amount but just with social media we just hear about it more um but there's like a new attack every single day and yeah like when when is this gonna end are we gonna do something about this no literally I well they're they're not gonna do anything about it you know and it's just there's no recourse for nurses ever and it's kind of depressing I try not to think about it because yeah we just don't have because we don't have answers yeah yeah because um

That's something anytime I do post about the newest attack, some people are like, well, what can we do? I don't really have answers yet because it's like nothing really sticks. Tell your whole family not to attack nurses. That's what you can do. Just spread the word. Literally. Because I think a lot of like normal people, you know, when they hear that we're attacked at work, they're like, who would do that? You know, why would someone do that? Because most people wouldn't do that, but they don't realize like how often it still happens. And it's...

Well, like most people wouldn't, but also why have so many people attacked me? You know what I mean? No, absolutely. It's kind of a high percentage, like comparatively to what it should be of people that find themselves in the hospital and people that feel comfortable doing that. I just, sometimes people do things that I'm like, I cannot imagine doing that in front of another human being or doing that to another human being, but. I know, but they just still do. And I think another thing that people typically try to say is,

Well, maybe the patient has psych issues. A lot of times they don't. No. And that's when we're mad. We're like, that's not what we're talking about. They don't just are angry. And also the issues being anxiety and depression is not an excuse. No, no, no, no. At all. Cause that's literally everyone. No, literally we have it too. Um, and I'm not hitting you. No, exactly. So this actually, this story hasn't been told at least on my account, um,

to anyone, but there was a hospital system that I know of a nurse who was taking care of a patient in the ICU. This patient, you know, was under sedation at some point, several different trips, and they inserted a rectal tube per order. Love a good rectal tube. Love a good rectal tube. We love rectal tubes when they work. When this patient, I'm not sure on these specific details, but at some point this patient accused that nurse of sexually assaulting her.

Um, that happens more than not as well where patients think we sexually assault them because they're under sedation, under these drugs that warp their mind essentially. And we're putting in foleys and catheters into them. Um, she got her family involved, her husband involved in this, and the nurse had to be put on leave for investigation and which that's the right course of action. We need to make sure that that's not happening.

Nurse gets put on leave for investigation. They don't move the patient off of this unit. Everyone on the unit is like, hey, this is becoming a huge issue. We should move this patient off of the unit. The management chose to keep the patient on the unit. It was a couple weeks to a month. This nurse comes back to the unit. The husband of that patient saw the nurse in the parking lot and tried to strangle them. How do you feel about that?

What are your thoughts about that? I'm just not surprised, which is the really sad part. People just don't act normal in the hospital. Like, you think just what the average person is. The average person is a little bit crazy. And they just feel entitled to act however they want in the hospital. And that's...

really scary, but I can 100% see how that would happen. And yeah, wouldn't be surprised. Yeah. Like you said, whenever I heard about it, I wasn't shocked either. I was like, Oh, yep. Another, another day at the hospital, another day in the life, another day in the life and another day of management, not doing what they should have, which was removed the patient from that area. So that if the, if that nurse comes back, there's no conflict, but they didn't do that. And, um,

I don't know what happened after that. I think the nurse still works there to this day, which I would have been like, I'm suing the fuck out of this hospital. No, I really feel like the day that I get seriously hurt is the day that I'm done. The day that I'm going to make my lease because that's just, it's happening so much that there's evidence to prove that

It's going to happen at some point. So why are our hospitals not taking precautions? Yeah. And just like that scenario, why not move her off the unit to a different ICU? That's just crazy to me. Or like now you're in custody. Exactly. Like you hit a nurse with intent, A&O 4, and not like drugged up. Yeah. And now you're in custody. And you weren't the patient. And you will be discharging to jail. That was the family member. He 100% should have been arrested. That too. And I'm just like...

I would be pressing charges. We need to press charges to make it a normal thing. And in most states, it is a felony to assault healthcare workers. But the problem is, once again, not much is done. It needs to be carried out to completion when you press charges because I hear of nurses pressing charges all the time. You never hear about people getting in trouble, actually, and having real consequences. The cases get dropped. Yeah. Yeah.

And we need to quit dropping the cases. And I'm not saying the nurses are. I don't really know the legal system that well. Maybe something happens where they're like, this isn't a good case. But it's infuriating. It should be a case. Because if it was anyone else, if it was someone who worked at Walmart getting assaulted, I'm sure that the case would go through. If it was a cop, I'm sure that the case would go through. And it's like, why is it any different just because it's on hospital grounds? That is so crazy. Yeah. I just feel really unprotected as a nurse. I feel like...

Just kind of at all angles. Yeah. People are coming at you. People are trying to take your license for this, trying to get money out of the hospital for this. And you're just kind of a singular 21-year-old girl. I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl. And yeah. Yeah. But I still love nursing. I do too. And that's where I was like, I'm going to take this from the sad stuff that definitely happens in our everyday life. I don't like sugarcoating our job by any means because I think...

new gods and nurses should just be aware of their surroundings, aware of what could happen. That way we're more on the lookout. Okay. So we're going to switch topics a little bit. What are some things you just love about nursing? Well, nursing is like the most raw moments of the human experience. So yeah, it can be like the awful worst moments, but also like in clinical, I watched a baby be born and that was a beautiful moment. I

I, I just love taking care of people. I love when people are in their lowest moments, super scared and or super in pain or super sick and I can do something to make it better. I love that. I love just sitting and listening to people.

like just got in a super scary car accident and you're freaking out and I'm just like, it's okay. It's going to be okay. Like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. I love talking to the little me, ma's and people. They're very funny.

Yeah. I know. I like Meemaws and Peepaws too, as much as I make fun of them. They are one of my favorite patients just because like, in a sense, they're innocent. Like they're just little innocent beings. It's like they revert back. Yeah. To little babies. And I'm like, oh, they don't know. For the most part, they don't know. I like when they don't know. No, me too. When they do know, sometimes I'm like, ew. Yeah, that's true. But when they don't know, then I'm like, aw. That's true. Do you think that here's like a...

It's not a controversy, but I've noticed some people don't agree. When you have a confused meme or people, do you go along with their antics or try to bring them back to today? What we're doing right now.

It kind of depends on the vibe, honestly. Like if they're not going to understand that we're in 2025, then I'll go with it. Like, yeah, we're in your kitchen and I'm your daughter and whatever. Like that's fine. As long as you stay in the bed because I'm coming back with a ham sandwich. Like that's fine. But yeah, sometimes if they're like on the edge, then I'm like, we're in the hospital. Yeah.

No, I feel like that's the right answer. A lot of people think it's one or the other, but you have to address the situation. And I will say sometimes my favorite thing is going along with them. I've had patients that are very confused and their adult daughter is in the room like, no, mom, we're here. No. And she's getting so agitated. It's like, actually, no.

Let's go along with whatever she's saying. Practice your improv. Practice your improv. Absolutely. Let's pretend, oh, she's going, she has a flight she's about to miss. Actually, you're on a first class flight. This is your bed on your first class flight. I am your flight attendant. Like I've literally played that whole thing out before. Yeah. What do you know? They go to sleep. To decrease the anxiety. To decrease the anxiety. Because is it really going to kill you that you're playing along with this? No, it's not. Yeah. But you do have to assess like the situation. Yeah. Good point. Um, yeah.

When did you start your social media? I posted like a few nursing videos in nursing school and I had like one video that got like 100,000 views and I was like, oh my God, like wait, actually real people can just get views. Can I do this?

And then I started posting like a little bit more consistently after I started working. And it like kind of ebbs and flows some months. I'll be like really into posting. And then other months I post like here and there. But yeah. Yeah, I think I'm starting to get into the

not posting as much. I don't know. I'm not burnt out, but I definitely need like a break. I just feel like social media sometimes can be, it's really great. I love social media. I'm glad it's here. I'm glad I'm living in the era of social media, but it can be toxic too, which is the same as like nursing. Nursing can be toxic too. So you just have to like take care of yourself while you're in it.

Well, and you just find out that people like really hate nurses and it all makes sense. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I started recently started posting on Instagram and as we all know, Instagram reels comments are just the absolute trenches. They are the trenches. And yeah, so people do really hate nurses when they come to my comments. Why do you think Instagram comments are worse than TikTok? I don't know. I think it's all the people that are like, I don't have TikTok. No.

That I just don't vibe with them. But I have Instagram. I just don't vibe with them. My boyfriend doesn't have TikTok. I'm like, I don't like it. You don't vibe with them. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just the people that are specific type of audience that just like being hateful. Absolutely. When the TikTok ban, well, I guess when it was happening, it's still happening. We're in the 90 day. Yeah.

era of possible going away. But whenever they were first shutting it down, you know, we're all like, no, like we're sad. Let's make some videos that we're sad about it. And then I would post them on Instagram. The comments would be like,

fuck you. I'm like, what? What's wrong with you? You're stupid. You're stupid. Thank you. This is why they're getting rid of TikTok because of our children's mental health. And I'm like, I don't know who fed you that line. That is so not true. That is not true. Our government does not care about your child's mental health or it would show in various other ways of like free therapy or therapy in schools or money towards mental health. There's like so many other things. But I just think it's funny that those comments can go everywhere.

like crazy so fast. Yeah. Well, I posted, I posted, well, it's funny just like posting the same content and seeing the difference in public opinion. Like I posted this one TikTok months and months ago talking about how I wanted to work in the ER because I wanted traumas and like scary, stressful situations. And I posted that on TikTok, like you go girl, hope you make it to the ER. Love you. You're

Instagram they literally were like you are evil they compared me to this nurse that was killing her patient so she could do CPR like it was insane they were like you love other people's trauma and I was like okay so that's not true at all someone won't be opening the comments anymore right

It's like, yeah, someone has to be there. Someone has to be there. Wouldn't you want it to be someone that wants to be there? Exactly. Like, are you going to do it? No. Exactly. Yeah. You don't have Munchausen's of any kind. I would assume that nurse has some weird shit. If they're killing their patients, then want to be the hero. It's insane. That's absolutely diabolical. Yeah. Yeah. But to say that you're evil is so stupid. Then who else works in the ER? Are they all evil? Yes. According to Instagram reels. You heard it here first. Mm-hmm.

Okay, do you, have you had beef, any beef with an ICU nurse yet? Oh my gosh, yeah. How? Not since I started in the ER. They're pretty chill. Okay, good, good. And I think this was just a one-off situation and it was also probably a new grad that just had a checklist. But one time on the floor, I had a really long rapid, finally got orders to transfer to the ICU. This patient was not doing good at all. Like literally, you know you have 30 minutes? Less. Less.

seriously and i call report like everyone is there ready to take this patient out i call report and she's just asking question after question after question that are so irrelevant like the patient had gotten there that day and she's like have they had a bowel movement i was like i don't know because since i've gotten here they've been dying like i don't know it's

GI unrelated. Like, please. And she was like, okay, so I'm seeing like a redraw in 10 minutes. Can you just like draw that? I was like, I drew it 15 minutes ago. It's a redraw to see of what we're doing right now. Like, please, girl. Please. Exactly. Yeah. You're probably right, though. It probably is. It's either one of two things. It's a very type A nurse who's just...

I can't. Access with the checklist or a new grad. Yeah. Because I feel like in a situation where there's a rapid, if a patient's coming to me, I'm not asking you to do anything. Yeah. Just tell me what they're there for. Yeah. What happened? What do I need to look out for? Because honestly, like if you are...

doing your best as a nurse, I can find everything I need to know about the patient in the chart. Yeah. That's where we should be able to chart appropriately so that the next shift, if you forget to tell them something, like they can find it in the chart. So there's no reason to like hound you with questions. Why are we, we're so obsessed with if they had a bowel movement. Yeah.

I see you nurses. We're so obsessed. I know. I was like, I don't know. When was the last time I had a bowel movement? Like, I don't remember. I'm so stressed right now. Yeah, literally. On a telly floor. I have four patients I haven't seen because we've been in this rapid since my shift started four hours ago. It was insane. That is insane. Yeah. That sucks. But at least you've only had like one.

Yeah. I feel like people treat me different now. This is a whole other topic, but I feel like people treat me different now in the ER. People answer the phone different. Doctors talk to me different. Hospitalists that I know from the floor that I've spoken to many times treat me different now that I'm in the ER. The ICU is so chill on the phone. Like they expect me to know nothing. So I tell them nothing and they're like, cool, send them off. You know, like. That's interesting. Yeah. Are you treated different better? Yeah. Yeah.

interesting but also lower expectations maybe it's not like the doctors are think that i know more yeah and the floor expects less well that's kind of sad actually if they think like yeah you do know i mean it's not to say you don't know more i don't know it's not to say one is smarter than the other like you just have certain expectations and med surge as you do in er but i feel like med surge and tele nurses get shit on like there's a lot of disrespect for

there is so much disrespect and I'm like they're still a nurse yeah their tasks and things they need to know are just different yeah well and the thing about that is like especially the super like experienced older nurses that are like old enough to be my mom like they're working on a med tele floor but they've worked at ICU for 10 years ER for 10 years cath lab for 10 years like they know what they're talking about but now you're gonna talk down to them because on their own a med search floor that's some bullshit yeah

that is and I've seen that shit what what do you think we could do better advocate for them I guess yeah just like tell the docs to meet us outside how about that yeah literally yeah just check your own bias yeah I think it's just a lot of ego like people just want to feel better than other people so they're like well I work in the

Yeah. It's like, it's fine. It's not that deep. Yeah. Well, cause I kept my second job code so I can pick up PCU shifts and I have been doing that. And so like flipping back and forth, like one day to the other is crazy seeing the juxtaposition. Yeah. Yeah. And you, yeah. Like you said, like you're seeing it firsthand where it was happening, it's happening directly to you. So that's interesting. Yeah.

It's also just crazy, like, now having started in the ER but going back to the PCOs. I also used to float to, like, all of them, and I'm just, like, a personable person, and lots of people, like, float around and stuff, so I know, like, a lot of people. And they'll be like, oh, you started in the ER now? And they, like, talk to me different. They, like, look at me different. Huh. Like, more respect, and I'm like...

Because I literally just started on a different floor. That's all it is. I don't know. It's weird. It is weird. Yeah. But I feel like going back to the ego thing, you're so right. I mean, I think healthcare workers have a bad rep for being the mean girl or mean or big egos. I mean, it is true. You're going to find hateful people, but you're going to find them in any aspect of life, in any job. I've met hateful cashiers. Hateful teachers. They're anywhere and everywhere. It doesn't mean...

mean girls go to school to be a nurse. I fucking hate that shit. What I think is it's like one in four people you know is probably a healthcare worker because we're one of the biggest workforces in the nation. So yeah, your mean bully is probably a nurse because it's one in, I can't remember what the ratio was, but it was like something like one in four, one in five people you know. So yeah, they're going to be a nurse probably. They went into marketing in my high school. They went to finance. It's not true for me. Yeah.

Actually, my bully from eighth grade, nothing against her profession, by the way, before I tell you guys. It's just interesting. She's a stripper. And I'm like, okay, cool. I actually wish I had the gall to get up there and do that shit because I'm like, you go, girl. But the stuff she made fun of me for, and then I look at her and I'm like, girl, sit your butt down. Absolutely not. Literally. Absolutely not. But the ego thing that comes with healthcare is...

strange. And it's honestly hard to navigate. How have you navigated it as a new grad up until now? I'll just try to let things roll off my back or just like people say something and then I'm like, okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. And then fourth time, I'm like, you're actually just not a nice person. And I just understand that now. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you're, you might be good at not taking work home with you then.

If you're able to let little things like roll off your back. I really think that like just yapping on TikTok has been a really good release for me because like I would sit in my car, talk about whatever, like have a thought on the way home, have a thought on my shift, share it. And then like,

that's it like we're done like you clocked out essentially like yeah done yeah to get my event session done yeah because I like I need to talk about it but like my boyfriend doesn't understand anything yeah so like I'll say things to him but he's like okay so yeah sharing it and then having that community of like people that respond like is helpful for me

It's like validation, I guess. Yeah, validating my awful experience. Yeah. I got a question on my live yesterday and it was a new grad asking, like, how do you deal with toxic coworkers or toxic culture, toxic blank in nursing? And I was like, you know, I think over time I've just realized it doesn't bother me that much. Like if someone's being mean to me on the unit, like,

I leave in 12 hours. If it's truly affecting me, I'm going to confront them professionally. But overall, like if it's not a personal thing, they're not coming at me. They're just kind of a bitch. Yeah. I just...

ignore them. I don't know. I'm just like, oh, there they are again. I'm not saying don't stand up for each other. I just mean sometimes there's someone on the unit that's just like not worth your time. Yeah. I've never had someone like coming at me specifically. I've had people talk about my social media, which I'm like, whatever guys, like whatever. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Also when I'm at work, I'm not

bedside Barbie. I'm not Olivia. Like, I'm Olivia RN. I'm clocked in right now. Like, that doesn't matter. We're not talking about that. I'm not thinking about that. So I don't love when people bring it up at work. But...

I've never had anyone come at me, but yeah, just some people are rude and I just try to avoid them. And sometimes you'll have to interact with them and they'll make some snippy comment about something that you did with a patient or a judgment call. And you're like, whatever. Yeah. It's really not that deep. It's like, I mean, you can always choose to try to do something about it. But I think what I've realized recently is that

sometimes your unit doesn't care. Yeah, don't rock the boat. They need a warm body. Yeah, rocking the boat is dangerous. You could get fired, which I did a whole thing on that. Like, you could totally get fired. So it's like, is it worth your job? If it is, if you're fine with getting fired, then...

stir some shit up. Yeah. Especially if you're a new grad and they've been there for four years. Exactly. You're not getting them out of there. I think that's something that was a hard learn for me was like, I can't change a unit's culture. Just me. The unit has to want to change. And if the unit doesn't want to change and

your unit bully has been there for four years, they're going to have seniority over you. And that sucks, but it is what it is. It's like real life. Yeah. And you just have to deal with it. Yeah. I've never worked somewhere that like had a bad culture. That's good. Everywhere has had like pretty good cultures. It'll just be like specific people that you just avoid. I think that if there was somewhere that I started working that had a bad culture, I would just leave because that's not...

a conducive environment. Also, especially with the stress of being a nurse, like you're responsible, legally responsible for human lives. Like you don't need to like be dealing with the mean girl sitting next to you. That's like actually attacking you. Like, yeah, no, I love that. I love that perspective. Cause it's like, um, like that's something similar. I say to when we are dealing with people's lives, why are we mean to each other? I don't know because it just breaks down confidence, especially of new grads. But, um,

Also, at the end of the day, you have to build your self-confidence, your self-worth, and know that someone treating you bad has little to say about you most of the time. Yeah. Most of the time it's just them. I think there's a difference between people making snippy comments because they're stressed and being a mean person that's just baseline coming at you or baseline making rude comments. I think if you're in a stressful moment and you make a snippy comment,

Whatever. You're human. Why didn't you do that? I don't know. That could make you feel bad, but it's also like they're not trying to attack you. They're just in a moment. Right. They're just emotional. And we do have a high stress job. We do. And especially in the ER. You're going to have a lot of shit going on that someone might be snippy to you. I also just think...

like I said, like working on how you react to things is really important in our job because someone, you are going to come across someone that treats you poorly in some way, shape or form, but you're right. It doesn't mean that they're a mean person. They could have just had like a shitty shift or something happened. Yeah. And we're also real people outside of nursing. Like they might've gotten broken up with and had to clock in, you know, give them a break. Yeah. Tell me though. It's just when it's a pattern. Let's talk about it. Yeah.

Okay. So I found Ariel so funny. She wrote, why can't we all be friends on your brief? She's so funny to talk to about nursing because I often forget just how easy our lingo is. Like our lingo between each other. We're going to know exactly what we're talking about. But when I'm talking to her, she's like,

What? What are you talking about? Ariel is my assistant. If you guys are listening, you're like, who are you speaking of? She helps me write my briefs. And so whenever I'm going over them, her questions on here are just so funny sometimes because it's all caps. Why can't we all be friends?

Like who does it benefit to have everyone rivaled against each other? Which fair question. No one. And we all know that too, but it still doesn't change that it happens. Yeah. I think it's funny to like make the jokes and make the TikToks, but then when you're sitting there in real life and like someone from another unit is coming at you and you're like, this is so stereotypical. Like this is so funny. Be serious. I know. I know. That's why, um, oh my God, I had a, I made a, a TikTok. What did it say? Um,

I just posted it, I think, yesterday. But it was a TikTok pretty much saying, like, when a doctor touches my pumps and doesn't let me know. It's just, like, a silly TikTok. Well, I made a doctor mad. And they were like, you used to be so fun. Now you're a hater. And I was like...

girl, are you okay? It's okay. And she just didn't like that I was making fun of doctors. Girl, I make fun of nurses all the time on here. I have to make fun of everything. It's funny. We make fun of everything. And also that's like my way of banter with each other. And like, you don't have to like it. That's fine. But like you said, in the real world, I'm going to be like, hey, can you not touch my bump? Or at least tell me if you're going to, I'm not

don't know it's just how we have fun well also who's charting it did they chart it right I know they didn't chart it I know damn well they just don't touch the pumps yeah it's not your place it's not your job um but it reminds me of like banter with ICU and ER like it's fun to talk about but in real life I'm like are you guys serious it's not that deep no literally it's not that deep like if they bring up a patient that has

poop on them yeah it's not that deep they're busy down there yeah like and we're supposed to clean the patient they did it in the elevator i promise nice sure there it is um so i'm pulling up a reddit post that is on r slash nursing and it says in your opinion what makes modern day nursing so toxic so i'm gonna read it because we're kind of talking about that today okay i'm just gonna i just want your thoughts okay

This is only my personal opinion and personal impression based solely on my experience. In the country where I graduated, the nurse was pretty much the doctor's assistant. There is no advanced practice or anything modern in...

and anything modern is seen very threatening. Nurses are perceived instead as angels, which makes my blood boil. When I moved abroad in two countries, I found nurses skipping their own needs, including going to the bathroom because they are short-staffed and the employers are expecting nurses to handle everything. Plus, I feel nurses tend to be blamed for everything. And a lot of my colleagues I interacted with

have this sort of martyr complex like quote, I am skipping my break slash picking up my six shift in a row, et cetera, with no regards of their own health. My personal take is that since nursing school, we are indoctrinated to think that nursing is a superpower, a calling and not a profession. Also, I feel a lot of employers guilt trips, a lot of employers guilt trip, many colleagues who are trapped into this mindset. What's your take on this?

I agree. I think it is really toxic because we're, I think people kind of come at us from all sides. Patients expect the world from you. The doctors don't respect you. Hospital management isn't like there for you. People are coming for your license.

And it can feel like a lot and everything is your fault always. Like legally, real world, you're going to go home and it's still going to be your fault. So yeah, it can be really toxic. It can feel heavy. But I feel like the reason I bring it up again and not to bring up so much toxicity with nursing, it's more so just to say...

I like that we're having a lot of communication about it and conversations about it. Cause I feel like the more we know, like maybe the doctors don't realize that we, for the most part, feel like they don't respect us. Yeah. And so what's talking about it instead of them getting like offended. Yeah. They could realize that a group of people think this way. And so maybe they could be the start of that change. Just like I realized that our teas,

feel very invisible in the hospital and like they're not noticed. And whenever one of them told me that I was like, I've never thought that way about them. But the fact that they all seem to think that, well, every time I see them now, I'm like, hey, how are you? Because I don't think the patients know who they are. They don't. And they think they're a nurse. And they're like, I'm a DMRT. You know, they want to be like respected and recognized. And I feel like, I don't know, it just starts with like one person just

have you ever seen the guy on tiktok he's i think like i don't know med student like whatever but he it's kind of pick me but it's kind of funny i like it but he's always just like

When you go on a new unit, like ask all the nurses what they want for coffee or whatever. Like he's just going the extra mile to like bridge that gap of like, we're best friends. Like I'm going to help. You're going to help me because I need help. I'm brand new here. Like I don't think I'm better than you. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen him, but I feel like that's.

I like it. It's kind of corny, but I like it. I'd rather that than be a total dick. Yeah. You know, and clearly he's making an effort to try to have a relationship with them. Yeah. Because something else I hear too is like, um, I don't go to work to make friends. I go to work just to work. And I'm like, but isn't it more fun? You spend so much time there. Exactly. Like 72 hours out of your week, you're around people you don't know, don't like, don't talk to. That's...

Like depressing. To me, it would be extremely depressing. Like I'm going to make friends. At least we're friends in my head. Yeah. We don't have to hang out. We don't have to whatever. But it's like class friends. Like in school. Like we're work friends. Like we hang out. I'll help you. You help me. We talk about a little bit about our lives. And then we go home. Exactly. To me, it makes the shift better. So like I find that so strange to not...

make friends or build good rapport is however you want to put it. But I'm like... It's easy to build good connections with people. Just be nice. You don't even have to do that much, honestly. There's this guy that just switched to night shift in the ER. I helped him land one ambulance. He was like, wow. He was trying to do all this stuff for me after. He was like, you're so nice. And I was like...

I literally just took one set of vitals with the telly leads on. But people appreciate it. And it's very noticed. And it reminds me of someone asking, how can I stand out as a new crowd? I was like, oh, be nice to people. Be the person that you expect from other people. Like you said, get up and put some leads on a patient. Bring someone flushes if they needed it. An alcohol swab here and there. Set up a room. Help someone set up a room. All those things seem so...

Yeah. But they're not. Yeah. People get real sucked into like their shit. It's just a mindset switch. I think of like, it's a team sport as opposed to like, this is my stuff. Don't touch my stuff. I'm not looking at your stuff and I'm not helping. Exactly. You know what I mean? Exactly. And, um, and like no one wants to work with that person.

No, no, it's not fun. It's not fun. And like you said, we're there for 12 hours. I expect some fun during my shift and like, I can see who's there. I see my people. I'm like, Oh, it's going to be fun. Yeah. Even if it's an awful shift, it's going to be fun because these are my people.

You said something about nursing being a calling and I have really mixed feelings about that because nursing like did kind of feel like my calling. Like I've always wanted to be a nurse. I've never thought of anything else. Actually, one time a psychic told me I was also, I was like 16, 17. I was in a neon pink.

turtleneck. Okay. I do not look professional by any means. She told me that my thing in life was to be a pediatrician, that that was like the best thing for me that I could do anything in medicine and that would be fine, but I should be a pediatrician. And I said, okay, thank you. So yeah, it is, I feel like my calling.

But it's really, really a job a lot of the days. Like a lot of the days, you're not doing anything that feels meaningful. You're still just clocking in and taking vitals and passing meds and talking nicely to people and whatever. It feels like a calling when... That's why I love the ER when people really need help. Like...

the other day we had this patient that we intubated and we couldn't sedate them because their blood pressure was too low and the entire nursing team we were in the trauma bay for like a while doing all this stuff the entire nursing team was like can we get sedation can we get sedation we were just doing like pushes but they weren't doing anything so and

it was actually my last day of orientation so the like primary nurse was like doing her thing like charting whatever and so i'm just kind of an extra person standing there so i stood at her head for two hours and talked to her because i literally i was like i would be so upset right now and the fluorescent lights with a tube down my throat don't know what happened like all of a sudden she was just not good and yeah so that's when it feels like a calling

but yeah it's not it's not I don't like when people say like it's a calling when they're not nurses yeah I don't know what you're talking oh absolutely well and here's the thing like it's a calling to some and how great is it that you can be paid for your calling exactly because it's not my calling but also I have empathy I'm a normal human and like yeah in that state I would immediately love to be the one by the head of that person reassuring them yeah because I'm human yeah but like

If it's not your calling, you shouldn't feel guilty because it's not your calling. Yeah. You should be a good person and be a good nurse. And being a good nurse is having empathy for people who you don't know anything about. But a lot of people don't have that empathy. They don't even have that empathy for anyone that they know that they love. Like their family is just in a nursing home and they don't see them ever. And it's literally the person that like raised them and taught them how to use a spoon. Right. So yeah, they don't understand how we feel because we feel empathy for people that we don't know.

Absolutely. And take care of them like it's our mom. What you said about that woman reminded me, I had a patient that had to go down to...

I believe IR. I was a newer nurse. I think it was IR. But I had to go down there and was supposed to be sedated for the procedure, but the blood pressure was so low. And this was kind of like an emergent thing that they were doing. I remember scratching their head the whole time. I was like, I'm sure this is so awful and annoying. But at the end of it later, like a day or two later, when I came by to check on them, he was like,

I don't know what I would have done in that moment with all that pain and no sedation or very little sedation. Like it's the little things that really mean a lot to your patients too. Like I bet your patient will remember that you were the one up there talking to them, trying to reassure them. Yeah. I saw a TikTok the other day of this guy that had survived like locked in syndrome. And he was talking about this nurse that would just come in and yap about the unit drama. And he was like, that literally saved my life. And like, that's, I love that.

See, stories like that give me chills. I could cry about shit like that. I'm like, that's sad. Lockton syndrome is my biggest fear. Biggest fear. I've had one patient with Lockton syndrome and I was like,

That is terrifying. And for those of you that don't know what that is, it's essentially your body doesn't move. Your brain still works. Body cannot move. And so you can just, you hear everything, but you can't respond. You're experiencing it, but you can't do any type of response. Like sleep paralysis. Yeah. And how terrifying is that? Absolutely not. I'm glad that your patient survived that because I don't know.

I don't know a lot of people that go through that. Moving on to some other things with nursing. How do you...

if a new grad was to ask you, how do you handle burnout? What would you say to them? I think just no check in on yourself. I pick up a lot and I was feeling a little bit like I don't really want to do this. So I didn't pick up for like the last month that I worked med search, Shelley. And then I didn't pick up at all for the two months or like month and a half that I was orienting. And now I'm back to picking up all the time because I genuinely like being there. But I think it's just kind of check in on yourself.

And if you're feeling burnt out really quickly, maybe your unit isn't for you. Yeah. Maybe the type of nursing that you're doing, maybe even the hospital isn't for you. It's not for everyone. And sometimes people get into things that they don't realize aren't meant for them. So just really check in on yourself. I think that's.

That's the perfect way to put it. I like to say, like, fill your cup before you fill someone else's, which is checking in on yourself. Do something you like to do on your days off, whether it's reading. If you feel like you need a nap, if you feel like you need to waste a whole day just staying inside, that's okay. I do that all the time. I do it all the time. It's one of my favorite things to do. But I think a lot of people consider it to be unhealthy. No. To me, it's like so comforting just to be in my home and chill and not have any expectations. Yeah.

So I feel like that's one form of taking care of yourself, but do something for yourself. And like Olivia said, um,

If you need to not be picking up shifts, that's okay. Yeah. You don't have... I know besides like you need money, I mean like for your job, your unit, they'll be okay. Oh, yeah. I've never picked up because I get out of the kindness of my heart. Honestly, yeah. No. It's for me. The incentive bonus. It's that extra money coming in. Okay. Same kind of question, but like for compassion fatigue, which we were kind of talking about people with no empathy. Sometimes we run into...

healthcare workers with no empathy, um, who like, they'll be talking and I'm like, oh, they've got some compassion fatigue going on right now, which is a form of burnout. How do you think you could avoid that? Or do you know of any like signs that that's happening? I felt it one time myself. It was, um, I was in a four day stretch. It was the morning.

after my third shift so I was gonna have one more and I had had just a rough string of shifts and also one singular patient that I'd had the entire time that just crawled so far under my skin and then scratched for 36 hours and I realized that I just couldn't and also like

people were not doing well physically. And I was like, I can't bring myself to care right now. And I was like, I have to call out. Like I cannot come up, come back here and be the person that these people need. So I need to call out. So I think just again, check in on yourself. I think some people have compassion fatigue, just baseline, honestly. Oh, absolutely. Some people are just not, but I think that if you feel like,

how I feel like come to work every day save the world love nursing whatever and some days you're just like I can't do this then yeah just take a step back however whatever that means to you maybe even go part-time if you can't do it yeah but yeah and calling out and using your PTO or sick days or I mean even if you don't have any and unfortunately like that means you probably don't get paid for it but if you need to step away from work you should do it I really think we should have mental health days as a nurse the hospital this is what I mean by like

The hospital doesn't care about you. We have like three or four sick days, projected sick days for the entire year. 365 days. We're facing the respiratory season. Like I interacted with so many people that are positive for flu A and then I get the flu or neurovirus or something, projectile vomiting. Yeah.

No protected sick time. Yeah. So I'm getting an occurrence like, okay. But I really do think that we should have mental health days because it's really challenging. It is. And you need a couple days sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you on that. I think everything you said is exactly what I would say about it too. What are...

tips that you can think of to help new grads decompress? Well, I have built a pretty good routine for myself in my life. I, my boyfriend is in college right now, so his schedule is pretty flexible. So from four to six 30, if I'm in a stretch of shifts, that's our designated time. He knows he does not do anything else during that time. We hang out, eat dinner together, sit on the couch and have that just kind of like recharge time before I go to work. Um,

I will work out. I work out like all of the time, but I'll work out like after a shift or I got a walking pad. So I'll just walk on my little walking pad to decompress. I got my puppies. So I'll sit and play with my puppies. Um, yeah, just check in and see what I, what is going to fill my cup. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I am too. My dogs help me, help me decompress. I feel like animals in general are really good at that. They help me decompress. Um,

A walking pad. I've thought about getting a walking pad for just when I'm like watching TV. Yeah. I read on it. I like that. Yeah. Or read on it. Reading is a great way for me to decompress too. It kind of like puts my mind into a different world and I get to like forget about this world. And then I like gaming. I like playing games on my switch. But I also asked my Instagram. Instagram.

if they had any tips for decompression decompressing people said friends especially friends who listen to venting so like healthcare friends are great yeah obviously if you're in the healthcare field just like if you're like a teacher i'm sure it's really nice to talk to someone who gets it but even i feel like this is why i say like making friends at work is nice because let's say your friends are not in healthcare and you try to vent to them but they just it's not clicking um

When you make friends from work, texting them real quick, like, hey, can I FaceTime you about something real quick? That saved me so much as a new grad. Some of my friends would be night shift or I was day shift or vice versa. And calling them after a shift and just like crying to them was so nice. I mean, my husband's a nurse too, so it was nice to be able to vent to him. But it's also just nice to talk to someone like totally unrelated. Someone else said regular exercise. Yeah.

This is something I try to tell everyone too, because I love to exercise as well. And I think a lot of people think, well, I'm too tired to exercise or I don't have it in me to go exercise. Even walking is exercising, but exercise is so good for your mental health beyond your physical health. And I feel like it's such a good way to recharge and just do something for yourself. That's why I got into...

I mean, I'm not really in like a big working out phase right now. I'm still consistent, but I'm not like a gym bro right now. But I got into working out. I did martial arts for 10 years. I did Taekwondo for 10 years. And so I never like really like worked out. It was just like a sport specific thing. And I quit when I was 16, 17. So after I quit that, I didn't really have like any type of routine or anything. And then in college, that's when I like needed it for my mental health and got into it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how I was too. I, I, um, I haven't, I've been consistent, like you said, but I have not in my phase right now, but it comes and goes, but I still go, I try to go every day I'm off. And if I'm working like a stretch of three, I'll go one of those shifts, usually my first one.

Reading before bed helps me shut off my mind. We talked about that too. Journaling. I feel like if you can't afford therapy, journaling is a great option. Even though no one's speaking back to you, it's a way to vent it out. But also there's so many free therapy type things on TikTok and YouTube. If you type in your problem therapy or therapist, something's bound to come up. And I feel like people don't utilize that free therapy enough. Yeah.

I just use like talk therapy with my people. I call my mom. Yeah, yeah. You'll listen. Yeah, someone that will just listen to you. Go through what you will do in various scenarios. A code, RRT, patient following, et cetera, so you don't panic later. So they're saying like,

it ever happens or even after it happens to be brief. Yeah, visualization. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That way you have steps and your anxiety can't be like, well, what if this happens? Well, you have a plan for it if it does. I would do that a lot as like in the beginning as a new grad when I hadn't seen things before. Yeah. I would sit there and like think of situations and then ask people questions. Yeah. That way you know. Helped me. I feel like too, like asking your coworkers questions like that is so helpful. Someone on the unit's been through it and they're going to have like different experiences

um responses as to what you could do and that and find the person that likes teaching like some people don't really like teaching they'll answer your question but they're like whatever yeah some people love it and we'll be like okay sit down take notes so yeah find that person those are your people and I feel like every unit has at least one for sure

Leave work at work. This is my favorite one. And I think it's hard to do as a new grad because I think like you said earlier, we get blamed for a lot of things which can lead to like guilt for things that really don't involve us. But as new grads, it's so important to start practicing leaving work at work.

if your patient treated you poorly, try to leave it at work. I'm not saying don't go vent about it. Venting about it for me helps me. But when you take it home and you think about it and then you dream about it and then you wake up about it, you're just wasting your time. You're not even getting paid for that. I try to leave work at work where I'm getting paid for it. Someone brought up recently, they're like, well, what about a death? You don't take a death home with you? And I was like, not anymore. I think at the beginning when it was new to me,

Yeah, I would take someone's death home with me and be like, did I do something wrong? Did I make them die? What could I have done better to make them live longer? It's never about me. Usually the nurse is not the reason for the patient's death. They're already headed that way because of their own health. But learning how to

Also, learning how to do something in a, like if it is a patient that died, taking a moment with however that looks for you, like if you need to go cry in the break room or cry in your car or have a moment of silence or laugh about it, not about them dying, but like coping with it, then do it. I cried in the bathroom the other day for the first time. Because a patient screamed at me to order his breakfast, even though he was walking himself home in like a couple hours.

See, that pisses me off. Yeah, no, I was just so frustrated and overwhelmed. I cry when I get mad, actually. Like, if I'm crying, people typically think I'm sad. I'm like, no, you just really pissed me off. The rage is coming through in tears. Yeah. Well, do you have anything else you want to say? You want to tell people? What do you want to leave with the people? If you...

have any inclination to start posting because you see us or you see other people and you think it seems fun, do it. Just be consistent and know that people are going to talk about you, but they're jealous. They are jealous. That is true. Don't let that hold you back. And also, what is that quote? It's like,

People who are doing better than you will never talk shit about you. I feel that heavy. Yeah. It's the people who are wishing they were in your shoes or jealous or insecure about something that are the ones talking shit about you. So let that sit with you as you will. But where can people find you? Bedside Barbie on TikTok and Instagram. Perfect. Okay. I'm going to have the description or I'm going to have her links to her social medias in the description. So go give her a follow. And thanks so much for being here. Love you guys.

Bye guys.