Giggling about beards, baby swaps, and the substance
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the gift of choice. Gift cards let them explore Nordstrom on their own time. Explore more at Nordstrom in stores or online at nordstrom.com or download the Nordstrom app. Okay, gigglers, I have a bit of a cocktail revelation to share. Hannah and I are obsessed with espresso martinis and have found the secret ingredient for them. It's Mr. Black. Mr. Black is a cold brew coffee liqueur made from 100% specialty grade coffee and vodka.

It's unlike any coffee liqueur. It's not too sweet and it makes the perfect espresso martini. I'm all about cultivating a vibe in my new apartment and the first thing I make whenever people come over is an espresso martini with Mr. Black.

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We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. We are at our new studio.

Yeah, I guess it is a studio. It's decorated in my style right now, but we will be changing it. But check us out on YouTube. Well, honestly, because too many people were going to our studio, we didn't feel safe. We didn't feel safe. There was one time where there was three straight men in there talking logistics, and I was like, this is Giggly Squad. No, and we need to hold space for giggling, and men take that space. Do you remember that time when I was like, well, we can't start the pod if there's three men here? I know.

But we just sat there and they're like, are you guys going to start? We're like, when you leave. No, I literally got nervous. I was like, I can't. Or when the UAPS guy came in and I was like, we will wait. We'll wait. You were that teacher. You were the substitute teacher. I'll wait. I hated when teachers did that. I would get so frustrated.

I feel like all your memories from school were difficult. Let's not talk about that. Let's not talk about it. You guys, happy beginning of the week. I have so much shit to say. I feel like you watched a lot of things over Thanksgiving. Yeah. I feel like I watched some Hannah things just to be able to speak to you. I love that. You're like, just to argue. Just to fit in. I do have to announce I did get my period. I'm day two. Congrats. When you're not on birth control, day two is like...

Hit me. Monstrous. Monstrous. Like sitting down is uncomfortable. We're fully synced up. Like we're fully – we're one person. We're one person now. And it's funny because you wrote I can't do tampons. Is your vagina too wide or too small? I don't –

The canal. How dare you? I feel like I've said this before. I can't do tampons anymore, but I'm always doing it like the first three days because I'm not. Yeah. I'm not a monster. You can't just free bleed. I was going to say you have to go to work, but you don't. But you can't free bleed on your own. I can't free bleed. With Daphne, Daphne's white. Well, guess what? I free bleed now. I can't. I actually can't even do it on the first day. Like I know that it's in there and I can sense it and I can almost feel my body like being like, get out.

That's exactly how I feel about thongs. Okay, interesting. Have we come to an understanding? I think we have. Because I'm just not... The second I wear a thong, I'm like, take it off. I can feel it. I'm in a conversation and I'm like, do you know there's something up my butthole? And because I drink so much of my Stanley, I'm constantly peeing. So I'm like...

I'm not changing my tampon every time I pee and I'm one of those people that has to do that. Yeah. And so now I'm just like, oh, I'll put toilet paper in there. Like I'm not, I can't do it.

I'm proud of you for setting boundaries and holding space in your pussy for something else besides a tampon. I do have to say one thing about our friendship is you make me better aesthetically. Because one thing about tour is like I have to show up and at least show that I tried. Yeah. Like that's I feel like our understanding. Like you will not be upset if you saw that I put in an effort. Yeah. No, you were late today and I was like, where's Hannah? And then Grace goes, she's Dyson air wrapping her hair. And I go, give her a minute. Yeah.

You go, let her take as long as she needs. Let her cook. Let her cook. Let that motherfucker cook. This is also the middle of the night for us. It's 10 a.m. It's 10 a.m. Also, we've been on tour, which is chaos. It was our last week. Our last week of 2024. I loved it. You were so much. Cannot wait for it to be done. It's not done because we keep adding. You guys, we're adding. Don't worry. But it's done for 2024. But-

You don't have time when you come back from tour to like do normal things. So it hit me last week. What are normal things? Getting a haircut. Talking to family. Talking to family.

Drinking water. No, but I had like a self-care chaos day. I had to get lasered. Because the one rule with lasering is if you don't do it the next month. It's like a waste. Yeah. So I got my laser. I got my hair did. And I got my nails did. All in one day? All in one day. It was chaos. Oh, my gosh. You did all of that yesterday? Yes. Wow.

Wow. But I got my period. So I like, I'm so excited to get lasered. And I just look her in the eye and I'm like, oh my God, I'm like, I'm corked right now. Yeah. And if something comes out, like it's a waterfall. And she was like, it's totally fine. Yeah. They don't care about that. Except for you. Did it hurt more? Like I can't, I actually can't get laser when I have my period. I feel like I'm dealing with so much emotional pain day to day. The physical pain is a

is freedom for me. Because it does make you like more sensitive. It's a reprieve. I've never said reprieve on the podcast, but it was a reprieve. It felt good. I was, I love the pain of laser. Where are you doing? Where are your areas? As you said, eyebrows down. Are you? Eyebrows fucking down. So you're doing your underarms? Well, because I'm married to an Irish man who is a dolphin. Yeah. And probably has blonde hair anyway, so it doesn't matter. Literally doesn't have hair on his legs.

Like stunning. That's crazy. So you're doing underarms, legs, belly button. Are you doing full vagina or you're just doing like bikini? Full vagina. Oh, wow. Oh, she's here for a while. She's here for four hours. She moves in. She's paying rent. And I know everything about her.

But we talked about we have a nail girl. Yeah. Shout out. She's the best. We have the same nail girl. Her name is Jacqueline. So what we're obsessed about her is that she does not care to speak to us. No. Actually prefers to not speak. And what's so funny is we're on the road a lot. So like we have the same conversation a thousand times. So like you get in the Uber and you're like, I don't want to talk about what we're doing. And like you get to the hotel. You don't have the same conversation. Like we actually, me and you,

don't like chatting. We're not chatters. No, we're not yappers. We're shit talkers. Some would assume we are yapping all the time. We're not. We're not. And that's the one thing, you know, when your mom was like, I'm surprised you're friends with Hannah. I've been thinking about that. That's kept me up at night because we laughed and then I went home and I got sad. And I said, what did she mean by that? What did she mean by that?

When I realize I'm outgoing, I'm still- No one can act like you and me be okay with it. It's only you. No, but this is the thing. I'm not out here just like- Chatting. Talking to talk. Talking to me. I'm not coming up to you like saying I'm asking questions when I feel appropriate. Yeah. That's the one thing. If I was a yapper- You're not just talking to talk. You wouldn't be able to handle me. No, when you're speaking, you have things to say that are important. I wouldn't say that. That's a reach. I just think, you know, some people are like, I need to just like-

Take up air with stories. At least I'm making jokes. Yesterday, I had Jacqueline over at my apartment. Obviously, Daphne can't speak, but like in my head, she can. And then I was getting my Christmas tree delivered. For like 30 minutes, there were three grown adults in my home. Not a word was said. Yeah.

Not a single word was said. So this is the funny thing about us. I don't want to talk. No. But when I can sense someone doesn't want to talk to me. Yeah. Then you're like, interesting. I want to talk. So I'm sitting there with Jacqueline because we got both our nails done yesterday. And I was like, I'm going to get her to want to talk to me.

but it was it's like a cat you can't force it you have to look like you don't want to talk to them yeah an hour in she looked at me and she said how was your thanksgiving and i said it feels good to win also there's something with jacqueline where i feel like she abides by like hippa laws because like when she's at your house and then she comes to mine i'm always like oh you were with hannah like just to see what she says and i'm like would she get on her nails and she was like almost like

didn't tell me she was like oh she um I was like tell me what she did because I'm her favorite right now she was like she did pink with a little chrome and I said oh okay

That's so interesting. A little bitch-coded. So she also, like, we don't have, we do have a fun relationship, me and Jacqueline. I don't know if she would say that. I like the way you say her name. Jacqueline. Jacqueline. Jacqueline. Like, she's on a Jack-o-lantern. She's from Queens, so, like, we get each other because Des is from Queens. Anyway, when she was leaving, my initial thing to do was to, like, fuck with you. Yeah. So I wanted to be like, can you tell Paige that, like,

my knuckles are smaller than hers or something. But I just felt like our relationship wasn't there yet. It wasn't there yet. Because she would be like, no. And then I'd put her in an awkward, and I don't want to ever put Jacqueline in an awkward position. But so badly, I was like, what is something she could say that would like fuck with Paige? No, that was good. No, we should start doing more pranks and have Jacqueline be in the middle because she'd really not like it. Speaking of hair, oh, I did get the top of my feet lasered as well. Oh, wow. Yeah.

So men obviously have been doing horrible things for the last thousand years. Centuries. Centuries. Jacob Elordi was the last one. I'm so glad you're bringing this up. Let's hold space. Let's take a minute. Okay, typically I'm into facial hair because a lot of men are ugly. Well, now you're bringing me to my point about beards, which I'm fucking right. Yeah. This is what I have to say about beards.

If you're an ugly man, this is my beard. And so many of them are. As most of them are. This is my beard theory. If you're an ugly man, you get a beard, then you become a bearded man. Yeah. And a bearded man. And you've gone up automatically three points. You're a man with a beard. You look like you could fix something. It's like makeup for men. It's contour for men. It's makeup for men. It gives you a little bit. You're a man with a beard and girls could get by that. Yeah. We've come up with a story because of your beard. We've made you more interesting in our head because you have.

have a beard. We're like, what's he hiding in there? Exactly. You could hide your secret family, your 17 chins, a snack. You could hide whatever you want in that beard and you've become a bearded man and we can perceive that and that's okay with us. When you're Jacob fucking O'Lordy and you have a jawline and you have a je ne sais quoi to your face...

When you get a beard, you then go down to just a bearded man and you lose the magic. When you have a fucking jawline, do not get a big beard. Also with the long hair. I know it's for a role. It also has like a little like, oh, is it? I'm just saying that because I think when guys do something for a role, I'm okay with it. Oh. Because it's for work.

Because it means they're like working. Yeah. And I like when they're busy. It had like a reddish tint to it. Oh, like a copper cowgirl? Cowboy copper? It was giving. It was Hannah Burner red, a little bit on the sides. I don't know what this person looks like, but this is what I envision he looks like. He looked like Teddy Mellencamp. No, John Mellencamp. Teddy Mellencamp's dad. That's what I think. You don't know what John Mellencamp looks like. Neither do I, who am I to say. But that's what I think John Mellencamp looks like. In the 70s, that's what John Mellencamp looked like. Jake Velarde.

And Chris doesn't have his computer, but we're going to put it underneath and see if I was accurate or not. Okay. I'm going to say no, but maybe. Who am I? Hall and Oates. He looks like Hall and Oates. I don't know what Hall and Oates looks like. No, but. Mom, did he look? My mom is here. No? I feel like in the 70s, everyone had that kind of beard. So what are the girls to do? I was upset by it. The comments were so funny. They were like, this is the moment we realized he was just tall. I was upset by it, but then I took a step back and I said, sometimes I cut a bob.

And I just go off and I'm like, and today I have really short hair. Maybe he is also just like, and I've been wanting to try a beard and I'm going to try it. But this is the thing. When you cut a bob, it's a religious cultural experience. That's true. It is incredible. Him growing a beard is just crazy. You're emphasizing your jawline. He's taking away. He's covering something. What do you think his girlfriend felt? I'm sure she likes it. What do you think about...

your boyfriend or girlfriend having opinions on your like hair. I think it's okay for girls and it's not okay for boys. Agreed. No, agreed. So Des made a joke and he was like, I kind of like your natural hair better. Like I didn't marry a redhead. And I was like, how do I say in... But this is... How do I say I don't care? Feels like your natural color. That's what I told him. Also, this is why I know he's lying. He didn't know I was red until I told him it was red. Right.

Because he's straight. Like if we put all your different hair colors in a lineup, he wouldn't be able to. He's colorblind. He doesn't know. Is he actually? No, but all men are colorblind. That's a fact. That's a fact. That's why they can't be pilots. That's why. Wait, can we talk about how we. Oh, wait, we already talked about it, but I'm still shooketh from when we landed and then just went back up. No, that was scary. That was really scary. Jack Harlow. OK, that's what I wanted to talk about next.

So my mom is here, who's a jazz singer. Mom, you had opinions. On Jack Harlow singing Elvis? He could... She said he couldn't sing. Oh, my God. Wait. See, this is why... This is why men are so good at tricking us, because I thought, like, oh, my God, he's so good at it. This is the thing. It's the bare minimum, and it's so right. Imagine, like...

of like ice spice yeah singing jazz she would have been critiqued insanely ice spice if you can go for it like if she tried to sing like whitney houston well if she just went on stage yeah and tried to sing everyone would be like she can't sing and i don't even know what she sounds like but it wouldn't be that man he he has a good tone i was like i like his tone but i don't think he was hitting notes like opposite of me i hit notes don't have a tone

I'm not even musically inclined enough to know, except for you, when something sounds bad. Did we start the battle cry challenge or was that happening? I don't even know what you're talking about. Everyone's trying to hit the note on TikTok now. Oh, no, I truly feel like we started that. I feel like it wasn't really a thing. Did you see Sabrina Carpenter do it and she was almost like surprised that she did it? Yeah, it was adorable. Yeah. It was adorable. No, she was cute. Also, apparently Sabrina and Barry broke up. Good. Good.

As they should. Yeah, I wasn't really into them as a couple anyway. No, no, no. Like I was in the beginning for like the first week and then I was over it. When your first love song about him is about Don't Embarrass Me, you know where it's going. Yeah. Here's the thing about Jack Harlow. I'm like kind of off him. Why? I just like, I've been really taking into account like men's ages. Yeah.

And anything under my age, I'm like, you're a fetus. You don't even exist in the world. Have you ever paid taxes? I was talking about how there's a certain age you hit as a woman where it starts being fun again to be with a young guy because it's like you're like, oh, I could boss him around and teach him stuff and everything's new to him. What age is that? I think when I hit –

When Des dies, or when I'm around 48. I was going to say like 44. Okay. Then it's like. That's actually amazing because I feel like that will coincide with our facelifts. Yes. But then I'm upset if Des will never see my facelift. Yeah. He'll be there in spirit. Okay. He's going to be alive in 10 years.

If I was Des and I listened to us, I'd be so mad. We make him 85. I feel like occasionally he does listen to Giggly Squad, but he doesn't tell me. Like he does a check in every now and then to just make sure we haven't gone too far. He just like needs to know the temperature. Are the girls okay? Are the girls okay? If we're talking about men, which we are, this is my note. I wrote John Summit, question mark, question mark, question mark.

I don't get what's going on. You don't know who it is. No, I know who it is, but I don't understand the lore. What is the lore? All I know is that he- First of all, he's a DJ. He's a DJ, but he's an example of someone that like,

He made me feel old, even though I think we're actually like the same age, because on TikTok, it felt like- He's in his 30s? I think so. It felt like everyone knew who John Summit was and like John Summit's been famous for years. It feels like everyone knows who John Summit is except John Summit. No, I think he believes his own hype too. Well, this is my thing. I support men in the arts. Is he like an insanely talented DJ? No.

I could never tell if someone was an insanely talented DJ or not. Has there ever been an insanely talented DJ? That's the question. I'm like, you can tell me. I understand if you're like making your own beats, but if you're literally just playing the most popular songs back to back. And like putting them together. My cat can do that. Yeah. I mean, if it's a girl DJ, obviously she's talented, but boy DJ is... Boys, music's not for boys. No, this is so funny you say that because every time I see Zandra come up on my TikTok and she's doing something, I'm like...

I've never met her, but I'm so proud of her. Also, girl DJs are cool. They're like girl stand-ups because you know that they have to deal with the men late at night. And they're like, excuse me, I'm trying to mix stuff. I'm trying to do my art. Yes. But I do have to say, John Summitt,

I know that, like, he had, like, a thing with Ashton Earl or whatever. And if that's what's giving him, like, popularity, then I'm more upset. Because I don't want guys to be empowered because they were associated with a cool girl once. You could just say, I don't want guys to be empowered. No, but, like, I don't want his career being lifted because he –

I don't. She let him touch him. I'm not sure if it, I'm sure obviously like people found out who he was more because of her, but I don't think, I think it was mutual. And also right now I'm doing it. Like I'm giving John Summit more attention. You're giving him a platform. I'm giving him a platform. And like, for all I know. You're giving him a seat at this flower table. For all I know, he's the sweetest man ever. I'm just saying, what are we missing?

Yeah. Where's Grace? I'm not sure. Because she's of that age. Grace! She quit. She's working. She's like, I'm working. Someone has to work in this business. No, here's what I don't want. I don't want a man in Vegas. He should use a beard. He could use a beard. John should get a beard. Okay, that is the man that needs a beard. I don't ever want a man to be in Vegas and posting Instagram stories about how much fun he's having in Vegas. Ever. No matter what your...

What are you overcompensating for if you're having fun in Vegas? You could be hired by the city of Las Vegas to talk about how great Las Vegas is. Swipe up Las Vegas. And I'm still upset. Wait, do you remember swipe ups? Yeah. Sad. Rest in peace. Swipe up. I'm just – I'm sorry. Like I've –

Like, for example, Benson Boone. Who the fuck is that? Benson Boone is the guy at the VMAs that jumped off the piano and did a backflip and hit the note. Wait, let me say one thing. You know, like, when you were younger and you would say something and your parents, like, would be like, I have no idea what that is. And you'd be like, oh, my God. Leaders, like, don't.

And I was always really scared to get to that age of like where I was like, I don't know what the kids are talking about. I love it. The peace. I actively love – I feel better than people. Maybe that's why I'm coming for John Summit because I don't get it and it's making me feel old. Being in a group of people talking about a celebrity or a pop star and me coming in and being like, I have no idea who you're talking about. I feel better than all those people. I'm like, sorry, I'm –

I'm in the real world. Tell me when you're talking about Whitney Houston or Nelly, okay? Real artists. Doing important real world things. I don't have time for your made up celebrities. Also, let's talk about how Gen Z has just like they make up celebrities.

Well, everyone's famous in Gen Z culture. Everyone's famous in Gen Z. Everyone can get canceled in Gen Z. Everyone, like they have no- No one's safe from anything. They have no structure. They have no hierarchy. That's their problem. They have no A-list celebrities, B-list celebrities, C-list. Like there's no structure to Gen Z's celebrityism and it's too much. It gives you whiplash. It gives you whiplash.

Everyone has the same name. Gracie Abrams, that's the same name as someone else. I've known about her, but it's not her. Like, do you know what I mean? Gracie Abrams and John Summitt, same person. Same person. Same person.

And I'm like, who are either of them? We don't know. They are. Well, can someone message in? Because, like, I don't want to completely bash, like, a man trying to do his best and working, even though it's in Vegas and whatever he's doing. What is the reason? What is the reason? No, DJs have definitely –

Shout out to DJs because they've really taken a profession that everyone has shit on for so many years and stuck to it. And they've doubled down and they've stuck with it. My personal thing with DJs is I dated a jazz musician, as we all know, Jazzy John, back in the day. Who could forget him? One of my first loves. One of my many first loves. And he would go to restaurants for three hours every

and perform jazz. When I say perform jazz, I mean you have an instrument that you've been training for years to play and you're riffing. Like jazz is like, he's just listening to what the people, I don't even know what he's doing, but he's making it up on the spot. Like they're going on so, it's incredible. And they're getting paid $100.

Then you have DJs who are pressing a button for three hours and getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars. There's just a discrepancy there that I felt bad. Like we went to a party in the Hamptons. Yeah. And he was standing there and the guy was just like playing off his laptop. And he was like, that guy's probably getting paid like five, ten thousand dollars tonight. Should we do a DJ lesson? Maybe. I mean, I could do it right now with my laptop. Yeah.

I mean, I do have to say shout out to my playlist. It's basically the annoying friend who wants the aux cord all the time. Yeah. To be a DJ, you have to be delusional. That you think your music tastes. People should pay for it. Yeah.

Where it's just like you just took the top 100 songs from a specific year and you put them all together. Also, like you're playing music that other people made. Right. Well, that's the big thing. That would be like if at Giggly Squad we went on stage and we just said a bunch of jokes that other people have made. We would put them together really well. No, we went on Netflix, cut up a bunch of Netflix specials that aren't ours and just played them on TV. It was like, this was funny, right? Yeah.

And I understand. Wait, that's so true. I understand DJs like to party and they like to be out there and they like to feel like they're bringing energy, but you fist bumping is not bringing energy. Well, here's the thing with that, why we also don't connect with DJs is because I would assume that all DJs get energy from other people. Like that fills their cup up. I'm going to be honest. We couldn't be more opposite of that. They're getting energy from drugs. They're pushers. They push people. Yeah.

They're like, my son's at 2 a.m. Nothing good happens at 2 a.m. So it's the holiday season and I'm running out of inspiration to get cool, fun, beautiful gifts for the holidays. And this happens every year. But now I have Pinterest.

And I'm so excited to do a little searching and a little shopping in this special segment presented by Pinterest and ACAST Creative. I'm like, I'm a true millennial. Like I've been obsessed with Pinterest since the day that it came out. I've never found inspo the way I can find it on Pinterest. And now that I live in like my dream apartment and it's so gorgeous, I'm always looking for holiday decor inspo. And I have like seven different trees saved that I'm like...

have to recreate all of them and it's so hard to pick, but it truly does give you like the most unique inspiration. And I have so many boards from for so many years. Also their search bar and algorithm, like we're women in STEM. It's so good. Cause I'll be like,

something very specific. I'll be like, what do I get for my brother who's outdoorsy, but also likes expensive things and is from New York. And like, it'll give me inspiration. I hate when people get you like stereotypical gifts. Like, Oh, like you're an aunt. You'll like the shirt that says aunt on it. Like give me something that makes you feel like, you know who I am. No, Pinterest truly does have the best gift guides.

And they're so unique. And you can unwrap the holiday season with a few gifts. And I'm guilty too of giving people uninspirational gifts because I waited last second. I Googled something online and clicked the first thing that came up. And that's why...

I love Pinterest gift guides. Some examples of their gift guides that I love is like 50 gifts for your mom that you'll high key want for yourself. That's my favorite gift when you give it to your mom, but you know, you're probably going to use it or she'll eventually give it to you. I feel like that's everything I buy for my mom. They also have a holiday guide for the homebody, a holiday guide for the wellness enthusiast. What about a pet gift guide? I feel like they definitely have like a good pet one.

They definitely do. They also have one that's just like French inspired.

I'm obsessed. And you can shop from these guides. Like you literally just click on them. Oh, and I saw that too. And I'm definitely getting my mom a pair of those Missoni slippers. Thank you for listening to this special segment brought to you by Pinterest and ACAS Creative. We've found loads of inspo on what to give. And let's be real. We're probably going to give a few things to ourselves too. Ditch the stereotypical gifts this holiday season and head over to Pinterest.com slash shop to find more inspired ones.

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Ever since I got Daphne, I feel like I've been on Etsy every single day because they really do have such unique things. I give Daphne every single day even when it's not the holiday season because Etsy makes it so simple to find original items that will make whoever I'm shopping for feel extra special. Shop Etsy this holiday season for personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy styles, vintage pieces, and home decor. I've done a lot of

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That's M-E-D-I-K and the number eight dot U-S. Shop now before it's gone. Oh, I do need to do a shout out for talking about influencers. This girl posted the funniest TikTok that was basically like how influencers, I'm totally fine if you have a bad breakup with your boyfriend. Mm-hmm.

But if you've been pushing down people's throats how perfect and amazing your relationship is to make people jealous for even two months. Mm-hmm.

I don't give a fuck. - About your 50 part series. - About your 50 part series. 'Cause you tried to, I'm about to do a 50 part series about how you inflicted pain on me. - Yeah, you gaslit me. - If you gaslit me and pretended your relationship was perfect, 'cause I'm fine if you're lying to yourself, don't lie to everyone. - Yeah. - Lie to yourself,

You're trying to make other people feel bad by posting you guys making out in a picnic and then commenting. If you're commenting on each other's posts, romantic things, like, I'm sorry. Seek help. Seek help. But also, like, when y'all break up, I know people are like, tell us what happened. Actually, I know. Yeah.

No. I feel like I'm such an advocate of like not posting your boyfriend on your own social media. Yeah. Because one day you guys are going to break up. Sorry. It's basically like the friend who like sits down and she's like tries to make you jealous every day about how cute her boyfriend is. Like a one-upper. Yeah. And then the next day she's like, you know, he treated me like absolute shit the whole time. You're like,

I like I hold space for that and I feel bad. I love that holding space has become such a freaking thing now. I hold space for that. It's different when it's like a friend and it's like a personal thing. But when you've been using your relationship, I do like that you monetize it and use it for likes. But when you're using it to make other girls feel bad about their relationship and then you want them to hold space for you that you've been lying the whole time. Let's start off with apology. Apology.

Yep. Let's apologize for the lying. Also, let's stop lying. Right. You trying to make your relationship look good on Instagram for other people hurts them and hurts you. Just don't post it in general. You can post it, but post the fighting. Post the fight. Post and be like, we, he, I hate this man. Yeah. No. It's just there's, the internet is lies. Yeah.

Well, it's a lot of emotional drama that like you're not privy to and you have to like get in the headspace of like, oh, and now we hate this man because I'm about to watch 30 parts of like the worst things ever. So it's a lot of admin for us because I'm like, well, yesterday we were like obsessed. We were waiting for you to get engaged. And now we're like, we hate him. So it's a lot of catch up. I'm also not supportive of the Gen Z trend of I'm trying to go viral for your own people.

No, I have to call them out because they don't have more mature people in their life who've messed up in this capacity. Don't try to get attention from... Rage bait? Don't rage bait people. Don't try to be like, okay, this is going to go viral because I'm going to say something so fucked up a guy's done to me. Guys have done very fucked up things to me. I don't need to say it in public because...

I don't need that attention. I think we're in an area where becoming viral is like proving a conspiracy theory or like proving something that like everyone once loved is actually really bad. Yes. Like it's like finding some like hidden truth. Fear mongering. It's fear mongering. I don't like the word mongering. I know. What is a monger? It makes me uncomfortable. I'm going to go mong. I don't love it. Yeah.

So, yeah, I agree. And it's like really –

Like there was a girl like making a TikTok about like some club in New York City and it was just like, it was the worst club and it was actually sex drive. And I was like, oh my God, I think I've gone to that club. Is that really what was happening? Yeah. And then people like commenting being like, what are you talking about? Like it just closed down. Like it's not like some secret. So it's just like so many different. Let's go back to the simple of like the energy you put out in the world is the energy you get back. Whatever happened to like when a guy fucks with you?

You give him nothing. And you put ham on his car. Like whatever happened to that? Whatever happened to... You've never heard that? If you put... Is it ham or bologna? Like you throw it? If you put bologna on a car, it takes the paint off. I've never done it, but I've heard. I love when Chris goes to his phone to be like, what the fuck are they talking... Is that some Italian mafia thing? No, I think like girls like talked about it in high school.

Eggs? Eggs. How do you know that, Grace? It's a ham and cheese sandwich. Wait, Grace, you were gone. Why do people like John Summitt? She was like, don't get me involved in that. She was like, HR. HR. But, um...

No, what I'm begging for H.R. on tour and we're just like, whatever happened to like you find out a guy's an asshole and you go, OK, he now has no access to me and I'm never talking to him again and he can't fuck with me and he's not a part of my life and he could watch me go be more successful than him. What happened to that? What happened to silence? Truly.

What happened to everyone just, I don't know, shutting the fuck up? There's this comedian named, I believe it's Dana. Dana Donnelly. Yep. She's hilarious. And I sent her video to Ken Urich. I was obsessed with Ken. Because I felt like Ken needed. I'm like Ken's older sister that she didn't ask for. Anything Kennedy does, I'm like, it's fine. She's going through something.

Okay, so she goes, Dana's the opposite. She goes, tell everyone everything all the time so you're never a target for blackmail. And I feel like that's how Ken Urich lives her life. There was a moment. Wait, actually, I think this is like when I became obsessed with Kennedy. This is years ago. Someone was trying to blackmail her.

Like in 2020. And I remember her making a TikTok being like, you're not blackmailing me. This is what it was. This is what I did. And I remember being like, oh my God. I can't believe blackmail is a real thing. One thing I do stand by, and one thing about me, I will say, I've made mistakes. I've never lied. Yeah. I've never not told the truth. Call me crazy. Don't call me a liar. If I don't tell you anything, I'll lie right to your face. So this is the thing with...

With saying everything on the internet is, yes, no one can blackmail you, but at what cost? At what cost? No. Some of the things that some girls say on the internet, I'm like, you'd have to waterboard. You would have to physically hold me down. You went viral? You went on one-

You're so right. To get that information out of this little body, you'd have to torture me. But that's why the internet's fucked up right now because half the internet is lying. Yeah. And pretending there's something they're not. The other internet is telling too much. It's too much. It's too much. So we have to find a happy medium again because the internet is full of lies and –

Too much and people exposing themselves. I'm all about love and light and like not being ashamed of who you are. Some people should have a small percentage of shame. Just like a little baby bit of shame and what's the other word I'm looking for? Self-respect. Bring it back. Bring back self-respect. Okay. Speaking of babies, my mom who's in the room actually told me the most insane IVF story ever.

Okay. It was on the New York Times. The real New York Times. When my mom sends it from the New York Times, it's a real New York Times. A written article from the New York Times. A written article. So this couple does IVF, gets their baby, and the baby's perfect. Basically, a couple weeks in, they're like, why is it- Brand new fresh baby. Fresh. It's fresh. Out of the womb. She carried it? Yes. She's pregnant. Okay. A couple weeks in, they're like-

That's an Asian baby. Stop. Like, at first they were like, they didn't... No, and then they were like, that is an Asian baby. Now, there's nothing wrong with Asian babies unless... You, in fact, are not Asian. They were Spanish and Italian.

Italian and Jewish. Italian and Jewish. Okay. With an Asian baby. And they love this baby. But they're like, this is not our baby. This is not our baby. So they go to the adoption agency. No, not adoption. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. Because my mom's here listening to me retell a story she told me I can't do it.

Like, you know when someone's... You're in school. I'm in school right now. You're taking a test. I'm so scared right now. How was your listening comprehension? She's shaking her head before she started. Yeah, she's like, no, that's not right. Okay, so she goes to the IVF people. She can never be on Giggly Squad because Giggly Squad is built on misinformation. We are spreading fear-mongering lore. Lies. Lies.

So they go to, I don't even know what an IVF, the clinic. A facility. A facility. If you will. A house. Yep. Of IVF. A house of IVF. A house of Prada. The couture house of IVF. The atelier house of IVF. There's one in Paris.

They're building one in Italy. And Milan, obviously. I went to IVF week in Amsterdam. Not getting invited to Tokyo. IVF week is... IVF week. So hard to get into. This is our future. So they go to the IVF place. Yeah. And they were like, I don't... My baby's Asian. They were like, look what you've done. They go, that's crazy because there's another couple that just came in who's Asian and their baby has red hair. Yeah. And look, there's...

We're not... There's no judgment going around. Yeah. But they were like, something's off. Because the other people had red hair. Okay. Right? So...

They're heartbroken because they find out these two families are 10 minutes away from each other. Okay. How long have they had each baby? Two months. Two months. So they – Wait, wait, wait. Sorry. Question for the mom in the room. Can you breastfeed a baby that's not yours? Yes. Oh. Do you know back then communities would like communally nurse? Like they'd be like, we have kids and the moms take care of the kids. Like I'm going to nurse your baby. You're not. No.

Imagine the baby was like, not my brand. She's like, you're always eating salty things. The baby's like, did you have Mexican food last night? I mean, it probably differs a little, but no, all the babies can eat. Oh, okay. So the babies are eating. You're fucking connected to this baby. So at first they're like, oh,

Our bad. The IVF place. Yeah, they're like, we're going to start doing the legal things to switch it back. Because you can't just immediately switch it back, right? So, because they legally owned those babies, right? No. No, I'm knocking on that door and being like, cookie exchange. It wasn't a cookie exchange because they felt, they each felt so connected to their babies. So it was very hard. Oh my God. So they, because imagine...

Imagine you have Daphne for two weeks. I knew you had to put it in my perspective. And someone goes, that's actually the baby that I... Was supposed to have. And they're like, we got it wrong. No, I'm now... That's my baby. I'm learning Asian culture. I'm doing the things. So...

They decide to do this kind of co-parenting thing where like every day they see the babies to like. Well, that's not sustainable. Well, yeah. So after a couple of years, it's been like five years and now. Oh, yeah. There's older siblings. They had to be like your your younger brothers, not your younger brother.

So now respective children live in their biological homes. Yeah, now they see each other weekly. But it's crazy because we're not moms, so we don't know that initial phase. But the nights you spend with this baby. Also, I don't know how that person's been raising my baby. This is so off-brand. I really wonder, what were the dads doing? Nothing. What were they doing?

the dads in this situation. Apparently the dads were distraught. Because it had to have been both moms were like looking at like each baby one night and were just like, I don't think. The dads definitely didn't notice or they did and they were like

What Asian man were you fucking? Also, yeah, I'm surprised there wasn't more drama like discourse. Imagine someone was just like, I did cheat on you. And it was like, not a thing, whatever. I wonder how they're going to tell the kids that.

What happened like when they're old enough to comprehend it? So this is the crazy thing and I'm not trying to fear monger. We're obsessed with fear mongering. Apparently this happens all the time. No. But the only time people know is when it's a different race.

I have to hold space for that. That, I wonder truly how often that happens. Well, apparently there's like not a lot of regulation. Okay. Well, I have always heard when you give birth, like, you know, when they take your baby to like clean it up or all this stuff that like you do not let it go by itself. Because they fumble it. Yeah. Because all babies look the same.

I have a feeling because like manifesting like when we have our own. They're going to switch our babies at birth? No. When we are ready to have babies, I just have this feeling that like we're also going to be in labor at the same time. And so like we're going to rent like a house type situation. It's not the real world. To have them and the doctors will come to us and it'll be like a makeshift hospital. It's not a laser girl that comes to your home. No, I want it to be private.

I want it to be the equivalent of flying private when I give birth. Like, I don't want anyone around. Are you going to have a surrogate? No, not like initially. But if I had to at some point have a surrogate, I would.

Grace is dying laughing. Listen, I heard the first one's the hardest, though. I feel like after the first one, the rest just, like, drop out of your pussy. No, I want to carry at least one. Just for the experience? Just for the experience. Just for the experience. But then I feel like how do you say... For the culture. How do you say to, like, that kid that you didn't carry, like, yeah, I was over it. You go, mommy? Sorry. Mommy did enough. I also... I personally...

people will be like actually no one's asked me but if someone did and was like are you afraid of like having a baby I know in my heart of hearts I'm going to shoot that baby no I feel like you're gonna be so I'm gonna do it standing up no I'm gonna do it like people are afraid doing in the cab I'm doing it in the cab yeah yeah I'm literally gonna be like oh I'm gonna use all my quads no I think you're gonna be so good at giving birth

Thank you. Thank you. Like, you know what? I was like, oh, it took me 19 hours. 19 minutes. Give me 19 minutes. I'm going to be competitive about it. You're going to be in there and being like, this has got to be some type of record. I do. You're going to make people look up statistics and stats. I want to be the Alona Mayer of having a baby. Yeah, you're going to be looking up people's times.

You're going to be like, I beat you. Also, you know, some girls are like demure about everything, like how they eat and like how they laugh. I feel like some girls try to be demure having a baby. Like getting their makeup done. They have makeup done. They're lying there like their husband's in the room and they're like, I'm pushing. I'm literally going to be like, what?

Okay, two things that I think are off-brand for me. Well, one, not so much. First thing, don't want my husband in the room. See ya. Get out of here. I really don't. I want him to see my pain. I want him to lock eyes with me the entire time. I don't want him there. And feel my soul and the struggle I'm going through. I only want my mom. Well, yes. Mom, did you have dad in the room? Do you know my mom didn't have my dad in the room? It was like a connecting thing.

Did you let him see it come out? And that's two types of girls. Oh, because you guilt tripped him. He thought you were like a superhero. My mom did it in such a Giggly Squad coded way. They never put you under to have a C-section. They put her under. They're like, why don't you take a nap? You're annoying.

But no, she was like really sick. So she was like put under when they took me out. She was sick. And I feel like. She was like, I'm sick. I feel like that's so me. Like I had no idea what was going on. And then all of a sudden they just like lifted me out. And I was like, this is fine. That's truly who I am at my core. Like there was no stress on me for my own birth. Like I wasn't crying. I wasn't like fighting my way out. Like I was literally lifted out.

laid in a different spot and I was like yes see I probably had like a weird head angle because it came out weird and there was just like stuff they did try to put a hat on me and I immediately started freaking out you're like I'm not into accessorizing I was like I'm not wearing this hat I like got my fingers stuck on they called me like didn't they call me crazy animal wow

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I'm obsessed with Demi Moore. I love her. I'm obsessed with Margaret Qualley. I think they're great actresses. I'm really surprised that two really huge names signed on to do this movie because I thought the story of it, very different, very like so pertinent to like our life and culture. Yeah.

I just felt like it took a turn into like a horror movie that I was not expecting it. I thought it was going to be a little more nuanced of like – first of all, you know how you have like your delusions of like you're a Michelin star chef. You're like a pop star. You can do all these things. Yes. Not delusions. Sorry. They had no lines. I –

I could have been an Oscar award winning actress in that movie. They had no lines. They didn't talk. It was facial expressions. It was... I just felt like it could have gone more...

Like made you really think, which I think it did, but I just wasn't expecting it to be as gory as it was. And I can't watch, I really can't watch stuff like that. Yeah, it was, it's funny. I liked it because it was so unrealistic, gory. Like I can't watch realistic like those war movies when they're like cutting off someone's arm. I'm out, I'm out. Like a second they put a leather strip in someone's arm, I'm out. What? You know they make them bite down on stuff because they're like removing like someone's limb. I'm out.

I'm out. I know the signs. I'm out. Classic torture. Classic torture. But when it's so unrealistic, I'm like, this is kind of funny. I mean, like, she got out of her body. Like, it was just too much. I feel like it was the kind of thing where, like, it was missing something. Like, I wanted a little more. It was missing something. But apparently people either love it or, like, despise it. Honestly, I felt the same way with – what's the other one everyone loved? The Jacob Lord. Yeah. I was out on that. I loved it even though it was ultimately about –

Just what men will do for real estate. My TV and movie taste, I like it pretty. Well, I'm happy that you even did The Substance. Well, everyone wanted to watch it. And I was like, I feel like it is. I do love Demi Moore. I feel like I haven't watched Demi Moore in a lot of movies. The interesting thing is she's beautiful in it. Gorgeous. And I guess some of the lessons from the movie was first like,

it could always be worse, which I hate that. To be like, oh yeah, your life sucks. Well, it could be worse. It never made me feel better. Then the concept of like,

Would you rather look weird but not old? Yeah. Or look just old? Well, I think it, like, the ultimate message, which I don't, I feel like it came across for women because we just, like, always experience this. But, like, truly when you hit a certain age or a certain part of your life, like, you really are a second thought as, like, a woman. Yeah, like, people will say you're, like, invisible. Like, you don't get noticed, which sounds so peaceful. Yeah.

Yeah, truly. Every time you walk outside, you're not like trying to like not get kidnapped. I can't wait. I feel like I'm always, people are always going to try and kidnap me. Even though you've never been kidnapped once. Okay, but I've had some close calls. I've had some close calls. No, but they're just like you said earlier about how like you love that you don't know what like the pop culture is right now sometimes. There's like a peacefulness of getting older where you're like, I don't need to be in this like rat race you guys are in of like,

comparing and popularity and whatever. Yeah. There's like a beautifulness in AJ. But like Demi Moore in the movie was like sad about it. You know, like she is just like thought of differently, which I get that because I feel the same way even being in our early 30s. Like,

once you get married or once you have a baby, like people think of you differently. No, I'm literally so scared. Once you start getting pregnant and stuff, it's like then you are this, you're just like this mother. Yeah, you're supposed to like have it all together. You're supposed to be more mature. Yeah, and also as performers, like touring and if I want to be in movies or something, like you're pregnant. Right. Like not to bring back

the movie but it's like I can't let you in the club bitch you're pregnant I would fuck the shit out of you but you old and pregnant perfect example like you can't come to the club anymore you're a mom you're beautiful but bitch you're pregnant yeah that's like sad kind of

Okay, next thing I want to talk about, did you see, this was like, I don't know, maybe because I'm re-watching Gossip Girl, so I'm like so in that mindset. Did you see Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter, Apple, make her debut? Like such Blair Waldorf debutante ball. It looked like a movie. So it was a debutante ball, first of all. Second of all, I didn't know that was legal. A debutante ball. I thought we'd moved on from debutante balls. You thought we abolished us.

But I understand there's like high society things that are happening. I'm obsessed with a debutante ball. I didn't even know it was a thing. I'm not quite sure exactly what it is. It's literally telling the world you're a woman. Which, not necessary. Don't air my business. I also love that none of the boys that were there were also socialites, but no one gave them attention.

That's so crazy you say that. Didn't see one of them. It was like boys and girls, I think. But there's something creepy about it. I think it's creepy. I knew you would say that, but there's something.

I like it because there's some – I love, like, a period piece. Yes. So there's something, like, I'm watching it as, like, fiction. See, I see it as, like, these girls that have so much for them, but you're like, she's pretty and she's ready to get married one day. Girls used to get married off at 16. At nine. What? Why are we celebrating this culture? Why are we celebrating that? I just liked watching – looking at their dresses. Yeah. Yeah.

They can wear dresses whenever they want. It doesn't have to be a debutante ball where the parents are like, look at my daughter who's had her period for a couple years now and is finally ready to, and has her boobs grew. Okay, well, when your daughter comes to me because she really wants to be in the debutante ball and you're not letting her, I'm going to secretly sign her up for the debutante ball. Well, she has to be more of an epibaby to get into the debutante ball. It's literally just an epibaby party. Yeah.

They need a space where they feel safe too. You know what? If that's their space. They need a space. Let them have their space. And let it be in a castle in Paris, you know? That's where they've chosen to...

have their space. I want to see a Nepo baby like survivor episode. Like I don't want to see all the Nepo babies. I'm surprised there's not some type of TV show where it's like, let's round up all the Nepo babies. Let's talk to them, see what they're doing, see what's going on. I don't want to see the Nepo babies at a debutante ball that their parents all paid for. I want to see them trying to survive on an island with no food or... Yeah, I want the drama in the Nepo baby world. What Nepo babies don't like...

Other Nepo babies? Oh, yeah. What's, like, the hierarchy of Nepo babies? Yeah. Like, are they, like, you're just, like, a famous doctor's daughter? Yes. Like, we don't care. Yes. I'm Brad Pitt's son. Yes. Like, you know, like, I want to know what their drama is. But you know what Nepo babies I feel a little bad for? Not to be controversial right now, but with the society of, like, one day celebrities are cool, the next day they're canceled, the next day they're the greatest, the next day they're the worst. Mm-hmm. Like, as a Nepo baby, like...

For example, like Johnny Depp. Yeah. Like he's the greatest of all time. And Lily Rose is like the shit. And then like he's in this horrible trial. And like she didn't ask for that. But then she has to deal with the repercussions of that. Yeah. Or like these old guys who say something stupid. And it's like you have to be associated with your dad. Right. But think about like, OK, if your mom was famous and someone was coming at her, you would be like, and now I'll kill you.

Well, it is kind of like. Like you would defend. You would be fine to be in it. Well, think of like Olivia Jade. Because you're like, I'm going to defend my mom. Olivia Jade's another example of like nepo baby. It's not her fault. Right. It's not her fault. That her mom won. That she was dumb. I'm obsessed with Olivia Jade and I'm obsessed with Aunt Becky. Who's Aunt Becky? Olivia Jade's mom.

Oh, I didn't really watch Full House. What did you do on Friday nights when it was TGIF? How old were you? Like when we were in middle school. It was like Boy Meets World, Full House. I was going and renting like a movie from like a local... Like Blockbuster. No, we didn't have Blockbuster in Park Slope.

We had like small businesses. When you were younger, what was the – when you would go to the – rent a movie. Yeah. Like, you know, you'd go through a phase where you'd rent the same movie every single time. What was like yours? Oh, my God. Good question. Space Jam. You seem like a Space Jam girl. Oh, I love Space Jam. We also watched like Power Rangers. I like went through a Spice Girls phase. Power Rangers was cunty. I did like Spice Girls. Power Rangers, like – Yeah. That was cool. Yeah, the pink one. I'm kind of blanking. I realized I like blacked out my childhood in that moment. Oh!

I have some documentary updates. Are you okay? Because they're like really intense. No, I'm okay. Are you going to start with the JonBenét Ramsey one? I wasn't going to, but let's do it. Okay. I want you to because I don't want to watch it. Okay. No, perfect. You don't have to. Okay, great. Okay. So the crazy thing about JonBenét Ramsey is that there's not actually a good documentary out about her recently. So I was very excited when this came out.

What we're learning in this society is everything we watch, all the media we consume is biased. And it's by someone who's trying to get you to think a type of way. So we have to be smart when we're being fed information. We have to ask questions. We have to ask questions. So the documentary, the dad was in it the whole time. Talking. Talking. And – Is he still married to the mom? She's dead. Oh. Of cancer. Oh. Recently? Recently.

Not recently. But they basically didn't bring up that it was ever the brother. Like, it wasn't even brought up that it was the brother. And they leaned into it was an intruder. And as someone who doesn't know the case that much, I was like, okay, obviously it's an intruder. And they just made it sound like the police the whole time were like, it's the parents. Because they like, you know, when police decide something and then they don't want to look stupid. But then this guy kept...

Like the DNA wasn't matching anyone. The point that I was like, can we recheck the DNA? Yeah, why aren't they doing that? They kept finding people being like, it's this person, it's that person. There was –

semen of a man, which is why I'm confused. Sorry, I don't mean to laugh because it's not funny. But the phrase foreign semen is not lost on me. No, whose foreign semen is it? And I feel like in DNA days, I'm like, let's figure it out. Also, it's not like this happened in the 70s. No, I know. They could run the DNA. They could run it then. Like, I don't get it. Yeah, but they basically like...

so many people they've thrown in and the DNA doesn't match to the point that I'm like, I've seen enough documentaries. Someone's DNA needs to fucking match. And then they, there were like ropes and there's, there's so many things that DNA could have been on. And I'm like, what's going on? It feels like someone's being covered for something. I don't know. But anyway, you watch it and you're like, okay, it was definitely an intruder and they just don't know who the intruder was. And there's all these crazy guys that,

call in and go it was me because they're like these pedophiles that are obsessed with john bonnet like they have shrines of her and stuff because she's it's like a thing and people are like you're a pedophile but you didn't murder john bonnet ramsey so don't try to like get famous off it oh my god that's disgusting it's disgusting so i watch it and i'm like okay it was an intruder they never found it like definitely an intruder then of course i'm on tiktok yeah and they were like

It had to be the brother and they covered it up. The only thing that I saw that like is how she had eaten right before she went to bed. The pineapple. Yeah. Which also like what a weird. Pineapple and milk. What a weird snack. Which that's where the law was broken. After that, I was calling the police after that. The police were immediately called. Who in their right? Have some ice cream like a normal human. That's crazy.

Here's a very controversial but like the only thing I can think of because obviously like this has been so many years and like she's dead. If you found out that one of your children killed the other child aren't you covering it up for them though?

Yes, but also like whatever happened to just being like a horrible accident took place and like – Well, maybe they obviously knew it wasn't a horrible accident. Like if my son kills my daughter – oh my God, I don't even want to like say that –

I'm going to cover for him. Like I'm going to try and not lose my second child. And that may be the wrong answer, but like instinctually that's just like where I would go to. The reason the brother kind of makes sense is because if you're going to break into a house...

you're not going to sit down with a pad of paper that they pulled from the house and write a three-page letter. No, you're also not... You're getting the fuck out of the house. Yeah, you're also not staying that long. It was found in her, like, the mom's pad. Like, he took a page out of the mom's pad, the person who wrote, whoever it is. They did say that...

This also could be totally wrong because this was a TikTok. But they said that like she'd been at the hospital multiple times because like Burke was aggressive and like had some outbursts. And if that's true, then it's like. Yeah. But I don't know if that's true.

No, I don't think we'll ever know. I don't think we'll ever know. But Burke did not want to be involved in the documentary and they like didn't bring the Burke stuff up once in the documentary, which I thought was weird. Why did they keep doing this though? Because Netflix- If it wasn't the son, like, okay, if they're, or like say it was the son and the parents are covering for them, why do they keep doing this? Like we don't, I don't need a documentary in another 10 years about this. Like let her rest. Like I'm so done with it. I think it's because

unsolved murders are make money people are interested in the dna that's what i said run the dna actually the job i want yeah i mean the innocence project is like an amazing organization but i want to be that bitch that's on the computer that is like give me every case before 1970 or 80 or whatever i'm dna in that shit imagine like gotcha bitch a murderer in the 60s

Yeah, catch me. They didn't have text messaging. You literally could do anything. You could do anything. You could go anywhere. If you got caught murdering in the 60s, you're a fucking loser. You're a fucking loser. But I want to be that bitch that's like... Like you could change your name and no one could check it. No, no, no. Like you could put yourself in the witness protection program and it not even be a thing. You could literally get in trouble in one state and go to another state and they wouldn't know that you were in trouble in another state. I would love to do that.

No, it was insane. Nowadays, you Google one thing and they're like – No, you could move states, start a new life, and no one would know. And that sounds so nice. You could go rent a book on how to murder someone, read it, send it back, murder someone, and they'll be like, we have no idea. And return the book. And no one would even know. Because you put a different name, no one would know. Yeah, no one would know. I want to be that bitch that some murderer is chilling in his house because he murdered someone in the 60s.

And I want to be like, knock, knock, bitch. Yeah, we ran the prince. We ran the prince. I want all those people gone. Sorry, I'm a policeman. I'm a policeman today. Okay, another documentary of villains. Are you aware of Kundalini Yoga? Only because of you. Can you spell it? No. You've talked about this documentary. I've finished Breath of Fire on Max. People have to watch it. But it's basically...

It's crazy and watch it. Okay. The next one is the most upsetting one. Okay. It's called, what is it called?

It's called The Shopping Conspiracy. Wait, this is the one on Netflix? It might ruin your life if you watch it. No, that's why I haven't watched it because people are like, I'm actually disgusted. I actually don't know how we move forward. Yeah. So basically in the 30s, a bunch of businessmen came together and they were like, we're making light bulbs and it takes 2,500 hours. What?

I hate the man. Hey, we're making light bulbs now. You know there was some wife being like, why don't you do your fucking chores instead of playing with your friends?

Some made up thing you guys keep talking about. You just fire like normal people. Electricity. Yeah, sure. Why don't you clean the pig pen and shut up? No, you're going to be so mad at this. They go, okay, it takes 2,500 hours until this light doesn't work anymore. That's not good for business. Let's, after 1,000 hours, make sure that this light breaks down. That's how I feel about my iPhone.

So that's so fucked up, right? That's now the business model for businesses. So Apple, all these people make sure that one, it breaks down after a certain amount of time. Two, it's not fixable. Or if it is fixable, it's like impossible for us to like open it and do it. All the men do is lie. All they do is just lie. We're all getting tricked left and right. And basically the biggest problem is, okay, so you want us to keep consuming and keep buying because products are going to break.

There's no end of life cycle for these things. So we're producing more items, more fashion, more electronics than ever before. They're talking about sheen and the amount of clothes that they're making is insane. And because it's cheap, you don't care that after a couple of washes it breaks because you're like, it cost me $4. It actually was worth the wear. We don't have anywhere to put this stuff. And let's be honest, we don't know what recycling is. Mm-mm.

I don't believe that they're doing the recycling either. I don't trust them. So they're not. Brands will just say like this is recyclable when they're not. And then things, they basically said stuff has to be either put into the air, the ground, or the water. Here's the thing, specifically living in New York City, like every couple months or whatever, I'll get an email from my building being like, just a reminder, like we recycle and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But, like, when you see trash on the street, it's all just black bags of trash. So, like, where is the recycling? This is the thing. Plastic, a lot of it, is not even recyclable. So where are the iPhones, the MacBooks, where are these things going? Mm-hmm.

It's going to other countries and they're just pouring it. They're basically like Ghana is just full of clothes. Like because they're just pouring clothes in their beaches. Thailand is full of laptops and people have to go in and try to like break them down. But obviously they're getting sick because of like the metals and shit. I have this weird thing where like I can't get rid of my old iPhones because I'm like someone will try and frame me. Oh, yeah. All my laptops. Yeah. All my laptops and iPhones. Yeah.

So you're saving the planet. I'm holding space for you to save the planet. But the problem is all these people are making things to break, but then not coming up with like a cycle for it. They just make it and they sell it and they're like, I'm rid of it. Yeah. But the universe is dying. Like this stuff is going into the ocean, the air or the ground. It's not sustainable at the rate we're making products. Right. And we're fucked. Yeah.

What a happy note to end the pod on. What an appropriate note to end the pod on. I do have to say. Wait, I kind of do want to watch that one though. I think you should. Yeah, I'm going to. It does make you want to like.

Save the world. But it's definitely not going to be through plastic straws. Right. It needs to be a bigger overhaul. We need government to have some structure in place so all these huge companies can't keep... Making so much stuff. Making so much stuff and even maybe let's make some stuff last a little longer if we're going to be creating product. We are going to...

Mashantucket, Connecticut this weekend. We're going to Windsor, Ontario. Cleveland, Ohio. We have some tickets left. Check it out on our website. We love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling with us.