Giggling about boob jobs, body scans, and stoner energy
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my golden gigglers? Wait, Grace said we have to do something professional. Oh, yeah. She said we have to promote our upcoming shows. Nashville, New Orleans, St. Augustine, Hollywood, Florida, Tacoma, Portland, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City.

And let's not forget we're performing at Radio City this week. I've been watching stand-ups of people that have filmed them at Radio City just to like watch. Just to get the vibes? Just to get the vibes of the area. It's funny. That would get me more nervous. Yeah, I think it's back. I feel like that's –

That's the worst thing you could possibly do. That's crazy because I did take a beta blocker while swatching it. I was like, wow, that's going to be crazy. It sucks, but I realized that life is just about not thinking about what you're doing because the second you're aware of what you're doing, you fuck it up. But you want to be able to think about what you're doing when you're doing it, but it turns out like- No, you want to live, but people don't let you. Look, everyone just get a lobotomy. Things will work out. That's the newest thing. Speaking of surgeries-

Rest in peace to Denise Richards' breast augmentations. Did she get a boob job? Two of her breast implants... Exploded? Wait, ruptured. That was the word they used, which is... Ruptured. Scary as fuck. Ruptured during... I wonder if you know...

Right when it happens. Like, truly, I wonder if you can feel it inside of you of like, I just popped a bag. When I was at a tennis academy, I had this like huge muscle trainer and he walks up to me one day and he's like, whatever you do, don't get breast implants. And I was like, I'm 14. Like, why are you saying that to me?

It was like so weird. And he goes, because my girlfriend, she was trying to open the car and something poked her. Punctured her? And she punctured, and it blew up her breast implant. And I was like, okay, noted. Thank you. Here's another reason why I went against getting a boob job. If something is going to happen medically, I know it's going to happen to me. Like I know I'd be the type of body to be like, we don't want this and like reject it. Rejecting it. And like.

That's what happened to Paris Hilton. She got a boob job like years ago and her body like truly rejected them and she got them taken out right away. It's like me with cocaine. Yes.

And weed and melatonin. I took a Lemmy Gummy. You know what's funny? Whenever I talk about you to people that don't know you, I always say, I'm like, she's so pure. Like, no, she's never smoked a cigarette. That's like the number one thing I said. I realize like if you just look at me, I look up like a pothead. Like I haven't brushed my hair. I'm giggling and constantly snacking. Like...

Like, everything about me says pothead. Everything about you says she's hot. I mean, even your shirt right now, that's a stoner-ass shirt. No, I identify as a stoner. You are Seth Rogen. You're like, I don't want kids, I just want to smoke weed. Wait, I have... Yeah, what's the update? I have something very important to bring up. Yes. I don't know if you know, like...

I don't know. Okay. Let's say it's like – it was probably like 2012 and I –

Not to brag. But one of my biggest modeling jobs would be like shoe fit modeling because I am the perfect size seven. So like I would go into showrooms and when buyers were coming to buy certain lines of shoes, I would be the model with the shoes on. So I would see the shoes before the next season of like what they're buying.

And I remember being there one time and I was presented with a sneaker wedge. And I was like, oh my God, I'm obsessed. Like I, what are these freaking shoes? I love them. And I made them give me a pair like when I was done. So I was like in Albany having zero business rocking a fucking sneaker wedge. Like I was a wag. On the ice. Loved it. They're coming back like full force. And I just feel like you are...

You are the epitome... Sorry, Croc. Sorry, Croc. But I just feel like you are a sneaker wedge girly. I feel like you just called me a Miranda. This is... Okay, okay. No, I... I have a lot of... Let me process. Okay. Because I feel like sneaker wedges...

They were like in for a bit, but they were never- They were in for like a second. Yeah, they were never considered- They were very, like they weren't in, in the country. Like no one wore them in Albany. I remember being like, feeling like a freak. But like in New York City, everyone wore them for like a year. I wore, I think I wore them. This is my thing. I love Crocs so much and I love my heeled wedge Crocs. So like, I don't know if the right-

sneaker wedge comes across my desk yeah i will you will i'm into like the sneaker loafers that are new balance everyone's been sending me and i was like give me 17 of them right now wait i don't know if i've seen the sneaker loafer it's like a silver like new balance but as a loafer okay well we have such different algorithms because this is the only thing on my algorithm right now speaking of algorithm unpopular opinion yep i know what you're gonna say really unpopular

I can't fucking wait for TikTok to be gone. No, same as these. I need my life back.

Everyone's like, oh, I'm not going to learn anything. I miss my family. I miss being dumb. I miss not knowing a goddamn thing. Ignorance is bliss and I enjoy it. Everyone's posting the funniest stuff of like me saying bye to my Chinese spy. Or like doing like the Congress thing. It's like, are you Chinese? No. So you are. Nope, I'm not. Like I always what I do like about TikTok is I

It understands me more than anyone. But also what I hate about it is it understands me more than anyone. Yeah, it's intrusive. Yeah, it's super intrusive. I like that it tells me what to buy. Like, I don't want to have to search for what I need. Like, it tells me, like, you're going to like this. And I'm like, thank you. Give me 17 of them right now. But also with the mental health stuff.

not to age ourselves, but we were the WebMD generation. Like you got a sniffle, you went on WebMD, it told you were going to die and that was your fate. Yeah. And before I had to search to be diagnosed with something where now it just like comes at you all day. It's like, do you hate? You have sleep paralysis. Do you eat cheese? Okay, you have a problem. It's like, oh man. Then with all the information, like,

It's been crazy to see what size of TikTok I'll be on where I'll be like, once you see three videos of people saying the same thing, you believe it.

Yes. So like the misinformation that's spread is crazy from beauty stuff to politics to current events. And like no one is above like if three of your friends say something, it's a thing. Right. That's just a fact. And TikTok for every all the information that we've been able to like spread that's been great has equally been like.

the bullying and the lying. And I'm going to be honest, I have learned things on TikTok. Have I implemented them into my life? Certainly not. That would be crazy. Have I saved 4,000 workouts and recipes that I've never once gone back on? I've never once gone back to a workout. And I save a ton of them. I'm like, ooh, that's a good one to do at home. Oh, 100%. I've sent it to you and been like, if I'm not going to use it, you're not going to use it either. Yeah.

I do feel bad for the people who blew up because they are so talented and Hollywood would have never given them a time of day. Right. But the people chose them and they were able to grow that. I just think it has significantly impacted my mental health based on alone the amount of time I spend on it. Like when I get off TikTok at night to like fall asleep, I have to like –

sit there for 20 minutes and like decompress a little. One of my favorite things to do is decompress. But like it's too overstimulating and I'm like I'm actually ready for to have my nights back. But sometimes TikTok the algorithm's bad like

I saw a video of a girl like with a mustache and she's like, would you date the male version of yourself? So I watched it and it was funny. But then it showed me like 30 more videos of that. And I'm like, I don't, I'm not that interested in that. That's like my thing now. Like show me girls with mustaches. So look, there's pros and cons, but not to get big picture here, but I feel like

I have a niece. I'm an aunt. Yes. She's very important. I FaceTime her all the time and then hang up when she gets cranky. She is given like strict screen time things. And there's like proven studies about like the development of your brain. So I think it's starting with kids. But I think like in 10, 20 years, like adults are going to be put on like a screen time.

I think if people aren't already, people will be going to rehab for... Put me in it right now. No, actually, put me in it right now. I never get mad about a social media app closing because we all know social media is not good for us. Right, like something else will pop up. People will be fine, but... People will be fine.

People are telling people where to go, which is kind of – it feels like when you're waiting for a train and you don't know what the train is going to be and then they announce the train and everyone starts running towards the train track. I will say as a group of millennials, we are funny on there. You know? Like we've never been more together as a country knowing that like something's going away. So like I'm happy for the camaraderie. Oh, like all the millennials are happy? No.

No, I'm saying like everyone's banned together of being like this app is going to be gone soon. Like say whatever the fuck you want. Like people are being really funny on it and I appreciate that. It's funny because mine is like people crying. Yeah.

It's really because it's like the L.A. fires, which are so fucked up, so fucked up. And then like a 22 year old crying about TikTok. And I'm like, let's get our priorities in order. Which Giggly Squad, we just designed a T-shirt for the L.A. fires and we're going to give all the proceeds to a charity that we pick. If you guys have any charities that are you're like really passionate about, send them to us. Yeah, we're like vetting because I feel like.

it's like if we're going to give money i want to give it to the right places and right and make sure it's like going to where you actually say it's going to sometimes these like big ones i'm like is it hitting the right people yeah yeah i mean look gofundmes are great but you really do have to check them out make sure it's a friend who knows the person yeah this because during strifling times is that a crazy strifling way to describe it

What does strifle mean? Chris, what does strifle mean? Strifling times? I don't think that's a word. It's not a real word, first of all. Urban dictionary. You're talking about stifling. Urban dictionary says a combination of the words strife and trifle. Strife meaning difficulty. Trifle meaning not really very important.

Maybe not. Definitely not strifling. Definitely not. Wait, strifling is my life, though. Not important. No, I've been strifling. No, I'm not kidding. I've been strifling for like two weeks now. I'm not okay. Wait, can we normalize strifling? The origin is Italian. And if you use it in a sentence... Being really upset about things that don't matter. No, but I didn't realize...

Everyone I know lives in LA. It's crazy. It's devastating. I couldn't imagine. I just couldn't imagine. It is so funny too with all the technology and we're so advanced. We have cyber trucks that first of all, we can't figure out how to turn on a TV with less than two remotes. Second of all-

like something so basic as fire, like we can't. Yeah, they couldn't. It's almost weird. Like the world will always beat us. Like the environment will always be like, gotcha bitches. No, like they didn't have water.

No, it's so scary. Like, that's so fucked. And there's nothing you could do. But shout out, I feel like... And L.A., everyone needs to remember, like, yeah, it's huge mansions and famous people. And then tons and tons of normal fucking people with houses. Yeah, I mean, the Pacific Palisades, I feel like those houses, like...

That's such a nice area that I feel like those houses are passed down generation to generation. People have lived there for years. It's not just celebrities. Those are family homes. Also, New Yorkers, we all live in tiny apartments. So when people are like, we lost our house, I'm like, holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Someone posted and was like, I don't own jeans anymore. Yeah, I know. And it's like, oh my God. I could not imagine losing...

everything in a fire. And also, if you're there, they're just saying like the air quality is so fucking bad. It's like, don't be a hero. Wear a fucking mask. Yeah. Look at me going full mom on people. So I hope Denise Richards, Denise Richards boobs are okay. Oh, and that's how we started. Yeah. She ruptured both her boobs. I watched Nora. Yeah.

You did. Okay. Wait, when you were talking about it on the pod, I thought you had watched it. No, I don't talk about things that I've watched. And I don't talk about things that I know. So we're on the same page. Now, my one note for Nora was that

I think I was being a little like, I'm from Brooklyn. I'll tell you how to talk if you're from Brooklyn. And I did like part of her accent. I'd be like, oh, I don't know if that hit. Because something like water, she'd be like, water. Yeah. Once I watched it, I knew what you were saying. You could just tell that she was a girl from LA doing a very good Brooklyn accent. She's a phenomenal actress. But I was also like...

For her to go from, hi, I'm Mikey Madison. I'm so excited to be a part of this film. To talking like this. Yeah. You motherfucker. Yeah. I mean, honestly. She was so good. It was low-key a dream role for me. And I think I was jealous. Okay. I was like, that was for me. And it's so big of you to admit that. And that's how I feel about Ariana Grande. I'm just maybe jealous of her. Okay.

I'm like, I don't want her to be Audrey Hepburn because I want her to be me. No, but people are saying that she's dressing like Aubrey Hepburn. Audrey. Did I call her Aubrey? That's okay. That would have been... I'm so sorry. It's okay. It's not my mom or anything. Aubrey would have changed her whole brand. Whole brand. Yeah, but she's dressing like with the little bang and stuff. Which I did first at the CFDA Awards, but... We're not comparing. We're not giving a score. No, we're not. We... For anyone in a relationship, not you, for anyone...

Oh, sorry. You're not in a relationship anymore. I was on stage and I have a joke about how like I never –

I'm going to say it. Yeah. How no one asks me when I'm going to have kids and that me and you will be getting interviewed and they'll be like, Paige, when are you going to move to Charleston? And then the crowd like kind of groans and I was like, oh, like rest in peace. And everyone was like, ah! And I'm like, but then they'll look at me and then go back and be like, Paige, when are you going to move to Charleston? I'm like, I'm fully married. And no one has any question about me. Also, I do have to say, it is so hard to be in a public relationship. Like, you feel

Doesn't I thrive by people not asking us questions about us? Right now. Imagine having your worst friends commenting on what they think your relationship's about. That's what the internet is. Or what you're doing. I'm like, wait a moment. Imagine your shittiest friends hanging out with you and you not telling them anything about what's going on with you, but they saw you. And then they go in the cab and talk to their friend gossiping about you, what they think's going on, and you can hear it. That's the internet. Yeah.

No, the internet is literally someone texting you accidentally about yourself and then trying to cover it up when you say something. But like based off of no information.

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My favorite thing, actually, this whole weekend was people were mad at me for a lot of things, but like none of them had to do, honestly, pertain to me. Yeah. But the one thing that did pertain to me

That was like actually true. Whereas people were like, oh, she thinks that she's a New Yorker. Like she's from Albany. First of all, yes, I am from Albany. And second, I am a New Yorker because I've lived here for 10 years. But thirdly, they were like, a true New Yorker would never wear Eagles like outfit or like another team. And I just want to say I'm a fair weather fan. Like if there's one thing. You were never out here saying I represent New York sports. No, if there's one thing about me, I don't give a fuck about your sports. No.

If the color matches my shoes, I'm wearing it. If my friend sends me a dope jacket to any team, I'm wearing it. Kristen, can we shout out to Kristen? And I'm not trying to turn it on people, but do you not support women in the arts and small businesses? Actually, huge businesses. But do you not support women entrepreneurship? No, I think that Kristen is going... Female founded companies? I genuinely think that she is going to become a billionaire on her own. Wow, I just got like...

I think she just changed the whole course of like NFL. Can you Google titillated? I feel like that was the wrong word too. No, that actually I think was right. No, but like I just, it got me so excited because she's so fucking talented and she's being, what does it mean, Chris? It means stimulator excited, especially in a sexual way. Yeah.

Yeah, that was accurate. And that was right. That was fucking accurate. No, and the other thing is she's so fucking nice and like gracious and sweet. Like she DM'd me and she was like, I want to send you a jacket. And I was like, send me whatever one you want. And then I was going to the Eagles game. I was like, perfect. My outfit's going to hit. Wait, Kristen, I will buy it. Can I buy a Knicks or a Mets or a? No, she only does NFL.

But she's going to expand. Well, yeah, she will expand. She's expanding as we speak. No, as we speak, she's taking over the world. What I was going to say about relationships that you wouldn't know about is that my latest thing is, yeah, the concept of keeping score. Like I was talking to my friend who was like,

you ever feel like he accuses you of this and then you didn't do that. It's a lot of like, I'm not, if you're keeping score, that's on you. I'm not keeping score. And this goes from like little household chores to whatever. And just like my biggest advice for marriage is a reminder that like you're not competing.

You both are on the same team, and the second you guys start keeping score against each other, that's a fight ready to happen. 100%. So my new line is, are you keeping score? Because I'm not keeping score. Yeah, I can count that high. I'm illiterate, and I don't know numbers. And here's the other thing. I don't care. Period. Period. No one's time to keep score. We are strifling out in these streets. No, I'm strifling. Wait, so Saturday morning? Yeah.

We try so hard not to get in trouble. It's actually a miracle. It's a miracle. I truly try so hard. I'm like, oh, I'm not even doing anything. We will listen to pause. We'll be like, did we say anything to attack anyone? I really need Us Weekly and People Magazine and Page Six to stop listening to Giggly Squad and taking the craziest things and writing an article because it's like, we're joking about everything.

So I wake up Saturday morning and I'm getting a FaceTime from Hannah Burner. And I answer it and there's Marcelo Hernandez. We're on a three-way. I said, wow. Did you feel? I got nervous. I go, shoot, I did something. You guys keep scoring. Right in the moment I go, I did something. I said something. What the fuck did I say? Wait, I saw your face. You look, because with me you never feel like you're in trouble. No. You literally were like, what did I do? What did I do? Yeah. And-

When I told this story about how I texted Marcello and I said like, oh yeah. And he was like, fuck yeah. Like I didn't mean to make it sound like that was a direct quote from Marcello. When I initially told Marcello that everyone thought that I cheated on my boyfriend with him, his initial reaction was LOL what? And then he never responded again. But-

In the story, I was like, yeah, he didn't give a fuck. He was like, fuck yeah, like who cares? Then articles come out being like, Marcelo's exact quotes after he found out. And I, Marcelo was like, you're really fucking me over here. And so I felt so bad. No, he was being so funny. He goes, so you said when the rumor came out that we were dating, I responded and said, fuck yeah? I've never said fuck yeah.

anytime in my, I would never say fuck yeah. I go, sorry, did you say kick ass? Like, what did you say? He said, LOL, what? Who is this? How did you get my number? He did not say fuck. Yeah. Um,

So anyway, that was like a bomb I had to defuse over the weekend. So I only got like 7,000 more. And I'm like, I don't even know what you guys are talking about. So I just wanted to wear a cool jacket. But we did have fun with our dads at the Knicks game. It was like a full circle moment to like... We got those tickets. We took our dads to those games. Yeah, we got those tickets because...

The owner of MSG owns Radio City. And so because we sold out Radio City two days in a row, they were like, oh, here are some next tickets. And obviously we were like, we'll bring our dads. Yeah. And Paige the whole time was making fun of our brothers being like, where are they now? And your dad loved it. The only thing I cared about that night was making your dad laugh. And I did it in the first half. And I was like, I can go home.

Do you feel like when you're hanging out with my dad, it was like kind of like hanging out with me at all? Exactly. Are we not the same person? No, everyone was saying like, oh my God, our dads are so us coded. I loved it so much. Like me and my dad's outfits actually kind of match. Like his shoes match my jacket. Yeah.

And you and your dad were very, like, sports. So Paige's dad and Paige are sitting and, like, so calm, collected, look great. Wait, I have another story. No, keep going. Oh, no, I know what you're going to say. Okay. So then my dad is –

My dad, I would say that I have a very split personality of like I can be my dad and then I can also be my mom. But the majority, I would say I am my dad. Yeah.

Same. And so like when he's out in public, I know he gets socially like anxious and awkward. And here's the other thing. He can't hear very well. So he gets even more nervous that like he's not going to be able to hear what someone's saying to him. And he's not going to. He's also like a little shy. Like he's not trying to. Oh, he's so shy. He's extremely shy. Where my dad is like the postman.

he's here right unless you like fully know my dad he's not showing his personality he's black cat and he likes a one on one like when I'm one on one with him he's chatty chatty chatty but like if we're in a group he plays security guard he stands by the door he makes sure everyone is okay he's like looking at the exits he also like

does not do things with my mom. Like, this was a really big deal for him to even... Without your mom. Yeah, without my mom. Yeah. To go somewhere and my mom not be involved. Like, he was anxious. The funniest moment was he turns to my dad and he's like, so you guys eat a lot of Italian food? Yeah.

And my dad was like, I mean, yeah. And he goes, but like every night is your wife making Italian food? And my dad's like, not every night. I mean, we have like Chinese sometimes. And he goes, yeah, Kim likes Chinese, but I just want to eat her Italian food. And I was like, this is the sweetest conversation. If someone ever suggests like a different cuisine, he goes, I feel like we're wasting our time. He goes, what?

Why would we eat that and waste our time when we could eat Italian food? It was so U-coded as we all went up. My dad and I ran to the buffet because we were like, we're getting our money's worth. Yeah. These people are going to lose money on us at the buffet. And I look at your dad and he was like, I'll just sit here. I'm a little, you know, I'm not in the mood to eat right now. Yeah, my dad. He was too overstimulated. He was too overstimulated. He was like, I'll watch you back. You go get food. He didn't even like walk over to the buffet. But when we were sitting there. My dad got ice cream before dinner. Yeah.

He was having the best time of his life. He's like, he's like, my wife isn't around. We're getting ice cream before dinner. When we got to like our seats, my dad got sat next to Billy Baldwin, who I like turned to my dad and I was like, hey dad, like just so you know, this is Billy Baldwin. He like this and this and this. And he was like, okay.

He was the nicest guy ever. He talked to my dad the whole game. My dad, I felt like this was my son and I was dropping him off to preschool and I was like, it's okay. These are going to be your friends. He's sitting to my right. He's holding on to my jacket sleeve while he's talking to Billy Baldwin because I could tell he was nervous.

And so I turned to my dad and I was like, can you not hear him? Or like, do you want me to also be in the conversation? Are you nervous? He was like, no, no, I'm okay. I just like want it. I just like, I was his security blanket. I literally went home and I cried like thinking about it because I was like, that was so sweet. And our dads are so opposite. We were sitting next to two actors and my dad never stopped to think like, oh, maybe these are famous actors. Yeah. He's shooting the shit with them. Wait, the guy, I love him. He's in. I think it's Skylar.

Righteous Gemstones. Righteous Gemstones. Which I hadn't seen, but I recognized him. He's so good. His girlfriend was so nice. Wait, you have to watch Righteous Gemstones. It's really funny. I have to. Yeah. But my dad, the ball goes into Skylar's hands and like you have to give it back. So he gives it back and my dad's like, well, you're not going to let me touch it? And Skylar's like, so like he's,

He's busting balls with him. He's like, you're not going to let everyone in line touch it. You just throw it back. No, we took our sons to the game. So then Skylar starts laughing hysterically. They have a whole thing. Next time the ball bounces again, Skylar gives it to my dad. My dad's spinning it on his finger. Yeah. Having the best time. The time of his life. Time of his life. Me and my dad had one beer. We were drunk. Yeah.

And we're like trying to get the players to look at us. We were like, Jalen, you're doing great. He noticed me. Like that's what we did the whole time. It was so much fun. No, it was a great time. It was like super. Oh, can I make a PSA? There was a video going around of someone filming us and it got to me and I gave him the finger. Yeah.

Not that everyone thought it was a giggler, but that was not a giggler. I would never give the finger to a giggler unless that was an inside joke. That was Chris DiStefano, who deserved the finger. Of course. He's another comedian, and he was infringing on my personal space, and he wanted the finger. So I gave him what he wanted. And...

No, I love a Knicks game. We love a Knicks game. We did wave to Chris and Trey Songz that we were waving at him. So now we're in a band with Trey Songz. And the neighbors know my name. So that happened. No, I'm literally Trey Songz backup singer. I'm obsessed. No, but we had a great time and we definitely have to go back. Yeah. One thing we didn't mention last week is...

The Giggly Squad cult got nominated for podcast of the year. With iHeart. Which, you know what's so crazy is like I do- You've never been nominated for anything. No, I do forget that like we have a podcast. That people listen. Yeah, like I- Yeah. It really- Yeah. Yeah.

Unless like we do an episode where like I drop seven bombs and like walk away. Then I notice it because I'll get like the girls will be chatting. But like week to week when we're just like shooting the shit, I do forget. We're people's inside joke. Like they don't talk about it on the internet. It's just like we're in their head. Right. Like we're just inside joke girlies. Yeah. Yeah.

So when I saw that we got nominated for Podcast of the Year, it was like a very surreal moment. And it's, I think the awards are at South by Southwest. But to vote, you have to like make...

a profile, which I know is like annoying. You have to get a, I have to be honest, I haven't voted yet because it was like, you have to sign up for iHeart. No, the admin, I was like, guys, no gigglers are doing this. Give it to someone else. This is our, if we've ever brought you joy, this, and I will do it right after this. There's a link. Yeah. Press it. Put a username password for iHeart. Vote for Giggly Squad as your favorite podcast. Yeah. And then we'll party till dawn. Yeah.

I mean, we'll go to bed at 9 p.m. 9 p.m. Yeah. No, so I think that was like, we didn't even talk about it. We're so humble. No, I just think I thought it was a scam. Me too. Do you listen to any podcasts?

When I used to walk to work and have a 9 to 5, I needed a podcast or music in my ear. I feel like with our job now, it's hard. I'll listen to one of a lot of different people. I don't have one that I'm like, I have to listen to this every week. I'm the same way. I do one-offs. I'm also kind of nerdy. I like entrepreneurial pods, like how they built this and that kind of stuff. Or girls who started a brand.

Like a couple months ago, I listened to like Mariana Hewitt on a podcast. And I was like, I'm obsessed with you. I love that stuff. Or I like comics talking about like how they made a joke. Yeah. No, those are – Here's a good one. Here's the other thing. I listen to our pod every week. And that's where you're –

Like sick in the head. That's where like your brain needs to be studied because I listen to it every week. I can't listen to my own voice and like kudos to all of you who like listen to me every week. Thank you. I can't. You know, it's funny. I thought about this the other week. I usually don't like the sound of my own voice either. But I remembered when I remember when you're little, like we had answering machines, like legit machines. Yeah. And you'd be like.

Beep. Just kidding. Like people would do the most insane voicemails. I would beg my mom every day, like, let me redo the answering machine. And she would always let me. And there was something about like pressing record and then doing like I would do it in a Jersey accent. I would do it in a British accent. I would like come up with these different ideas of like what the answering machine should be.

And I was obsessed with it. And then I was like, wait, I host a podcast now. That was your practice to become a podcaster. I was like, mom, record. I'm ready. I remember that I had one that was literally me giggling, which is so obviously us coded. It was me being like, this is Anna Leigh-Rose. I was like, hey.

And I did that like in college and then I started to like apply for jobs. And I remember my mom being like, hey, you have like professional people calling you and you're just giggling in your voicemail. Can you have more professional? I think I still – I haven't redone it for like 20 years. No, I wish my family like saved that machine. I mean, I was like seven years old and I was like, I think I could do a British accent.

Literally because I watched The Parent Trap once. Now that you're single, are you going to go to bars and pretend you have a different accent and name? Have you ever done that? Yes. What is with girls loving to do that? Being like, I'm British. My name is Annie tonight. It's just really freeing because I feel like you already know you're not...

It's for the emotionally unavailable. 100%. And it's for like, it's stressful to be yourself. It's almost like when you act as a character, you're completely like, do whatever you want because you're like, that's not me. He didn't reject me. Right. He rejected Annie, who's honestly kind of stuck up. Yeah.

Well, you know what's funny? Because I feel like I've so – I talk to so many – I'm in my DMs recently too because the girls are sending like a lot of – Motivational. Things. And so like being with the girls that are single in their early 30s, one of the biggest things is like we're not in our 20s anymore. So it's like –

Not that you can't be single the way you were in your 20s. You can do whatever you want. But it's – you almost like don't want to be. Like when I got single at like 28, I was like catch me in every single club that exists in New York City. And like I was there. Like you could find me in a club. Now I'm like I would pass away. Yeah. I don't know how you did that. If I went to a club till 4 a.m., like I'd literally pass away.

So it is weird, like thinking of like, okay, well, what am I going to do being single? I've done a couple of dinners with my girlfriends. I haven't gone like out, out yet.

Okay, if there's one thing I'm not bringing into 2025, that is shapewear that rolls down. I feel like I talked about it on the pod. Like I went to an event, I wore shapewear and I was just like, oh my God, never again. But if you guys have not tried Honeylove, I can personally tell you it is the best shapewear. Not only is Honeylove an

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Okay guys, let's talk about dating. Specifically, let's talk about Bumble. A lot of brands are always like New Year, New Me, blah, blah, blah. Not at Bumble. We think that women have had a tough year and that we are allowed to date however we want, whenever we want, wherever we want, whoever we want. And I could not be more obsessed with that because as women, I feel like we need to celebrate more parts of ourselves and that's truly what we do at Giggly Squad.

Because on Bumble, you can date how you are. So for me, it's New Year, more me. And so if you're ready to date exactly how you want, Bumble is the best dating app for my single girls. With Bumble Premium, their features help show more of what makes you, you. Whether that's your personality, what you're into, what you want from a relationship, Bumble will let matches know from the get-go.

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This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com slash giggly and get on your way to being your best self. It's 2025 and maybe you're ready for a plot twist or maybe there's part of your story you've been wanting to revise or it could be that January brings 365 blank pages just waiting to be filled.

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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

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I remember when I was on dating apps when I first started Summer at House, guys were already like referencing things or like quoting stuff and it was like kind of weird because you felt like, oh, they already like think they know me and I don't love that I have to like battle whatever image they think they have of me. Yeah. And you're going to have to deal with that like a hundred times worse. Yeah.

Can I... Yeah, I don't want to. If any of these magazine people are listening, can I make a statement? Yeah, I would love it. I love how, like, I want to make statements. No, we started the pod... Before we started the pod, Hannah goes, okay, now, look alive, don't say anything bad. And you're like, actually, I forgot two things. No, I just want to talk about breakups. And I don't, like, look at the comments or anything, but, like, can we normalize not being completely destroyed after a breakup? Like, I feel like...

Everyone thinks that like when girls get broken up with or they have a breakup, that's like the saddest thing ever. Like it's actually so empowering. And I've been joking how like when girls go through a breakup, they're glowing the fuck up. They suddenly become like Pilates instructors. They're going to Harvard. Like they change everything. They've read a hundred books. They're asking their friends. You said a really important quote this morning. You said if someone sees a breakup and they immediately think, what did the girl do? That's mental illness. Yeah.

No, that's so scary. For relationships, there are, it takes two to tango. In the history of anyone breaking up, when has the girl ever done anything? No, but there's rarely like one person that's the devil and one's great. Like then why would you be together for so long? But I do have to say, I feel like also in terms of reflecting, I feel like girls after breakups will like talk to their friends and be like,

how did I end up in this? How can I do better? What's the thing? And then guys will sit together and be like, who would win in a fight, a bear or a tiger? I do have to say for anyone going through a breakup right now, breakups to me are like corporate jobs. You're not actually going to get a raise unless you leave and get another job. You guys, I was 29-

single during COVID living with my mom, dad, and four cats. And she looked at me. She looked at me and she had that honest mom moment where she was like, do we want to, like, is there anything you could have done differently? And I looked her right in the eye and I said, nobody got away. Yeah. I feel like that too. Nobody got away. Have you ever been broken up with?

The only times I've been broken up with have been like messy situationships. You know, the like two month there that like it goes. Oh, a situationship. Oh, a situationship will fuck me up. Yeah, those are all. I've never, like someone said to me like, oh, are your exes reaching out now that you like got a Netflix special or whatever? All my real relationships that have been like over a year have been like two people who know each other that I've gotten out of. Thank God. I one time mourned a situationship that was two months for three years. No, no, a hundred.

Those are the ones because you don't actually know them. Yeah, so I made up a whole scenario about this man. I don't think anyone's been upset about a breakup once you know the person because you're like, yeah, I'll miss that, but also that. I've had guys who I fully have been so into that my mom was like, can you break up with them? And I would be like, okay, and then you find someone else. But I've definitely – In the wise words of Kimberly Noel Kardashian, I didn't come this far to come this far and not be happy.

And I think she saw it on the internet. Did she say that? Someone else said it and she saw it. Thomas Jefferson. Yeah.

No, I just think there's such a like media perspective of girls like sobbing in the shower and being like, I'm nothing without him. Here's one thing I want to talk, like the girl, I've had, I've been talking to the girls in my DMs. I have so many girls that are going through breakups like right now. I also think I like push them to do it. To get a cat, break up with your boyfriend. It is kind of crazy to see some friends just like,

See ya. Like poof. If this was what it was to get you out of my life, God, thank you for protecting me. Thank you for steering me in a direction where like certain people are kind of just like falling off. That's your 30s. And I'm like so interested to see if like the other girls in their 30s that are going through breakups, like if any of their friends like that they didn't think would turn on them turned on them. Because that's also a very weird thing.

like headspace to be in. I feel like in your twenties, when your friends turn on you, you go, Oh no, what can I do to get them back? I suck. I need to be cooler. I need to be funnier. What's wrong with me? When you're in your thirties, when people show you who they really are, you go, Oh, thank God. I almost had them in my inner circle. I was like, wait, I told them my dreams. I go, I got you out of my life for free.

I go, bitch, that was the best thing you could have ever said to me. See ya. And I do have to say, sometimes those people will come knocking back. But when you love yourself, you go, oh, I will never forget when I was down being like kicked down a dead horse. You kicked me. So many people have lost complete access to me and I love it. Love it. It's honestly like so freeing. Like you can still be alive and be dead to me. Okay? Yeah.

And I won't even mourn it, but I'll have a funeral. Wait, I sent you a funny meme. Oh, wait. What? So me and Hannah went and did those full-body MRI scans. We have a code for the gigglers. We'll put it in the newsletter. Okay.

Did you go to yours? Yeah. Okay. So this is Prenuvo Report. It was on like 34th and 6th. It's so crazy because before I went, one of my friends was like, oh my God, are you claustrophobic? And I was like, I guess we'll find out when I'm in there.

Me and Hannah went at different times. Like Hannah was already in there and then I went in. But when we both got out, we were like, I'll take a nap. I loved it. This was like, you know, was it scary? I was like, I've never felt more relaxed. I had, I was watching the Jerry Springer documentary. I watched Sex in the City. They put Netflix on. It was so loud. Like obviously there's like a lot of like machinery working. I almost fell asleep. I would have fallen asleep if they didn't come over the loudspeaker and say, you have to hold your breath right now. I was like, I don't,

was almost hitting REM. I did fall asleep the last 10 minutes and it was the most peaceful sleep I've had in a while. No, it was so peaceful. So the thing with these body scans is like when do you scan your whole body unless you're like, even when you're getting an MRI, it's normally like just a specific part. So this is like a full body just checking to see if there's anything going on. Yeah, so it took about an hour. You lay there.

You go in and out of this machine. There were certain parts where you had to like have the same breathing pattern. But like all in all, it was one of the easiest experiences. Then they send you your update. So I just opened mine. Oh my God. Okay. So it's organized versus nervous system. How many findings? Two. I had four. Okay. Click on it. Wait, are we going to find out something crazy right now?

Do you have migraines? I don't, but I thought it was going to be like, you're crazy. Okay.

See, I got spondyliarthropy of the cervical spine. Mild degenerative changes in your, like there are bulges at C3, 4, C5, 6, and C6, 7 with a mild central canal stenosis. These mild do not need a follow-up if you have no symptoms. But I mean, I think it's okay. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to check it with Des's. Yeah. Because we'll see what Des has.

What else are you reading? Okay, my next one was I had one respiratory finding, one minor finding. What is it? Consistent with sinusitis. Oh, sinusitis. Sounds like an Italian town that literally was killed by lava. Oh, my God.

Oh, like back in Rome, Sinaitis was... What is it? Just like...

Inflammation or infection in one more of the sinuses in the head. Oh, so you have like a little sinus infection. I have a deviated septum, which is crazy because I only did coke once and I immediately got a nosebleed. Wait, I have one reproductive finding. Okay, what is it? A small amount of fluted in the cul-de-sac is normal. Discuss the finding with your doctor. Oh, I bet I have a cyst. Oh my God, I think I have a cyst. Or is that a baby?

Hannah. Looks like a head. Because who would have been with? Fuck me. Tick tock. Page six, why don't you chill? It's just... We knew that you've had PCOS. I do, I have this. Yeah, so it's not that crazy, but... What's the thickness of your endometrial thickness? Where do you see that? I have it in my reproductive system because I just got an informational finding. It says...

My endometrial thickness is measured at five millimeters. I just want to know if that's tiny or big. I don't have measurements. Okay, so maybe it wasn't important. I have one musculoskeletal. Wow, I love that people at Prenuvo are probably like, these girls are too dumb to explain. No, the people were so nice there too. They were so nice. Musculoskeletal. Oh, yeah, so they're giving us $300 off for the gigglers. Okay, amazing. And we're going to put it in the newsletter, but I think it's Giggly Squad.

No, it's Pernuvo.com slash Giggly Squad. I have a musculoskeletal thing. We detected a region of bursitis. There is a region of bursitis located in the subcoracoid bursa of your right shoulder. This is a benign condition. It's probably from serving really hard work.

From being a fucking beast on the court. Serving. Wait, not to bring up that, like, I wasn't allowed to be out of the house yesterday, but when I was at the Eagles game, there was someone on the team. Not that I know any fucking people. There's someone on the team and their last name is Slay Jr. Oh, my God.

I was obsessed. If you guys have never seen the Key and Peele sketch. Chris! If you guys have never seen the Key and Peele sketch of football last names, it's the funniest shit you'll ever see on the internet. Wait, Chris was so cute earlier. He said, can he come to Giggly Squad Live on Friday? Wait, so we're doing a Chris reveal. I already told you, you have to come, like legally. He's going to bring a friend too, so he's not by himself. I don't know if we have space for him to bring a friend. It's sold out.

We'll have to talk to our people. Who's your friend? Who's your friend? I don't know. I hadn't picked one yet. I didn't know if I had that privilege yet. Yes, of course you can bring a friend, but preferably not like bad energy. Okay.

Imagine Chris just brings this fucking douchebag who's like, you guys aren't even funny. Like, heckles us on the crowd. He's just heckling us the whole time. And I'm like, is that just Chris's friend that we told him he shouldn't bring? We're doing a Chris reveal for Radio City. Also, my Nana is coming. She already has her dress. She's so funny. I love sounds.

She bought, she was like, can you get me these boots? Because I wanted to get her shoes for it. And she was like, make sure they're pointed toe or I won't wear them. You are page. Same. But like same zines. Imagine being 83 and being like, I'm not wearing your not pointed toe boots. Hannah, one of my favorite moments from your fucking wedding was Nana complaining about her shoes and how like she just was like, oh, I just can't believe I have to wear these. Oh, you have a good point.

Because she had a stroke. She also broke her hip. She's had breast cancer and she refuses to wear flats. She wants to wear stilettos. The woman still dyes her hair, does full fucking glam, shows off her decolletage. Wears a choker and has a matching choker for every outfit. They don't make them like her anymore. No. She's stunning. But also it's the day that she doesn't want to wear stilettos, that's when I know there's a problem. So like Nana-

Wear your stilettos even though you literally don't have a hip. And that's called athleticism. No, it's not. But I wonder where I get my athleticism from. She's like, I don't have toes anymore, but I'm going to wear it. Are you okay? Oh, speaking of, I think I have – I think I did something – I've been like so into Pilates. I think I have a cyst in my wrist. Well, you just got a skin and you don't.

I don't know if they caught it. Or is it a recent system? It's a recent. I think it's recent. How often are you doing Pilates? I've been trying to go three times a week because I'm out here. Good for you. See, this is post-breakup. It just gets you going. I even got a shout out in class the other day. Page good form. I said, what? I

I was so excited. I said that's never happened to me before in my life. Are you going to do Y7 with me one of these days? I will. I've been doing New York Pilates just because I like had bought a package from them like a couple months ago that I literally never used. Yeah. I also, I sent you, there's a YouTube, I'll put it in the newsletter. This girl does like a 30 minute Pilates that you could just do at home. You just need a yoga mat and like maybe weights. I did it one morning. It was so good. It was really good. I was dying. Actually, Joey Camasta texted me and was like, I want to be a hot Pilates girl. Yeah.

And so I sent him my number and I was like, come anytime. I need more gays. Yeah. As a single woman, I need more gays. Yes, 100%. So if you're gay and looking, so am I. Wait, should there be an app for straight girls to connect with gay boys? Yeah. Now that's a dating app. I'd immediately go on. Wait, how has no one thought about that?

Because there is something so much more humbling when like a gay man in my life calls me and tells me like what the fucking deal is. Would you rather a straight guy not like you or a gay guy not like you? Would you rather a straight guy not be interested or a gay guy be like I'd rather talk? I don't give a fuck about the straight man. If a gay man said like I'm just like not really down with Paige –

How do you think I feel every Gangly Squad live when a gay guy takes a microphone and goes, hi, Hannah. Hi, Paige. Paige, I'm obsessed with you. Hi, Hannah. No, there's nothing with me and gay men. I just feel like...

Because obviously I am very girly, but I'm also very like snarky. And sometimes girls don't have that same humor. And I think having a brother. Gay men loved my special. I think gay men who didn't see my Netflix special don't understand me is what I'm telling myself. But I do have a gay male following. It's just I think different kind of male gaze than yours. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what it is. Oh, also the lesbians messaged me and someone said like that they said that me and you are a lesbian couple. Yeah. Just not sexually. Not sexually, but like we are a lesbian couple and that you're like a femme icon. Like 100% in the lesbian community. And they were just like, we all just talk about you guys. You're like the Ruby Rose of our relationship. Yes. And I'm like Portia. Well, look, when we hold hands, my hand is facing down.

Yeah. You know, like the girl goes like, and I go like, 100%. That's why when everyone's like, who's Paige going to date? I'm like, she's good. She's in a happy relationship. She's been in a happy relationship, is supported, and cares for her. So, yo. No, I'm obsessed. We're obsessed with MRIs and the gays. And if Us Weekly says Paige Sorbo and Hannah Burner are dating, see you in court. See you in motherfucking court. Put that on the record, motherfuckers. Oh, my God. Um.

Anyway, yeah. Thank you so much for giggling with us. I added a show in Irvine. Hopefully we'll be able to do it. And Alabama. Catch us outside. In Connecticut. How about that? Catch us outside. And we can't wait for Radio City. Yes. Bye. Bye. Bye.