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cover of episode Giggling about brain surgeons, the bachelor, and being young

Giggling about brain surgeons, the bachelor, and being young

2025/2/18
logo of podcast Giggly Squad

Giggly Squad

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
#comedic interactions#friendship dynamics#society&culture#social commentary#dating observations#personal fantasies#neuroscience#social media phenomena#anxiety and stress management#self-discovery and growth#breaking free from societal expectations#transportation experiences#travel companions#celebrity encounters#tv&film Topics
@Hannah Berner : 我觉得当我们不在纽约时,看到任何东西都会觉得很可爱。比如,我看到一个停车标志,就会觉得很可爱。我们对不在纽约的事物感到新奇和兴奋。 @Paige Desorbo : 我也一样。当我们不在纽约时,看到人们住在不同的地方,会觉得很可爱。这可能有点居高临下,但我们就是觉得很可爱。

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The episode starts with a relatable scenario of shopping from bed, leading to a humorous wish for buying cars with the same ease. It transitions into a car advertisement, ending with a relatable aspiration of driving a convertible while singing Taylor Swift songs.
  • Online car shopping wish
  • Cars.com advertisement
  • Dream of driving a convertible and singing Taylor Swift songs

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if there's one thing that is my vibe it's shopping from my bed. like i feel like you should be able to get cars the way you shop online. it should be like buying a new couch just like a couple clicks and then it arrives. well now you really can do that because cars.com has over 2 million options to pick from with up to 50,000 new options added on a daily basis.

So whatever direction life takes you next and whoever you're looking to be, there's a car for you at cars.com. Personally, I want to be one of those girls that like drives around with the top down and is like singing Taylor Swift songs. And I feel like cars.com has so much to do with that. Picturing myself in a convertible just really works for me. So find your next possibility on cars.com. Where to next?

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What is up my St. Augustine gigglers? Well, we're in Hollywood, Florida. True. I have to say, we didn't know where St. Augustine was. It's in Florida. Very cute town. Cute. Cute. So cute. Whenever we're not in New York, if we see anything, like I'll literally see a stop sign. I'll be like, okay, cute. Cute.

I feel like when we're not in New York and we see that people live in a different place, we're like, this is so cute. Cute for them. I just want to formally apologize to the Academy because I feel like I said something somewhere about like where the fuck is St. Augustine. Do I still know? No. But it's really a historical, cute town with great brunch. And I think it's close to the Daytona 500. Really? Yeah. I think Daytona was like right there. Oh, yeah.

It's funny because we got in the cab and the taxi driver was so excited that we were like visiting. No, we got in the Uber. They don't have taxis. Sorry, I live in the 1600. We've got a horse and carriage. He was like, what are you here for? And like we were tired. So we didn't say anything. We were like...

To visit friends Well also when it's like a man We're not gonna go into like We have a podcast That's called Giggly Squad And then he's like Turns it on And we talk about our pussies So we're just like It's a whole thing We're like we're just here for a girls trip And he was so excited To tell us all the places we can go But anyway We're in the middle of a fucking tour right now Like literally in bed At the Hard Rock Hotel Looking onto a pool Can I tell you the last time I was at this exact hotel I've stayed at this hotel before Oh my god I was 17 years old

thriving your peak i was peaking okay i was literally peaking i was with four of my girlfriends we all brought fake ids no parents no my friend's dad came with us there's always that one parent that's like i actually can't believe my mom even let me go on this trip especially with someone's dad yeah dads don't even know like no he didn't know where we were he didn't know your name no he didn't he didn't know where we were the entire time

Had these fake IDs. He was asleep. Can we just say dads are always asleep? He was asleep. I've never met a dad that was awake. We go to this, what the hell is the name of that restaurant? It's like this crazy Italian restaurant where they literally- Carrabbas? No. Where they play Italian movies. Olive Garden.

while you're at the restaurant oh no it's like a famous i have to look it up because it's gonna drive me nuts we go to this restaurant right obviously there's like italian waiters and we're just like loving it okay we meet these two guys they went all the way to florida to see italians that's a crazy there's none in albany literally i couldn't find one in albany

We're at this restaurant. We start chatting up our waiters. We give them our fake IDs, right? Because we want them to serve us alcohol. After we're done with dinner, they're like, we will go out with you guys. They think we're 26. Okay. These men think we're 26 years old. I was 17. I think you're divorced young moms. I had a whole backstory. I was a hairstylist.

I was a hair fricking stylist. I think it was like one of my brother's girlfriends. I was like, if you want to date my brother, you have to give me your fake ID. You would love being a hairstylist because you love gossip. I'd be such a good hairstylist.

We go out with these men. Okay. We go to like a club, whatever. Do they have like Italian accents or they're just guidos? They were just like guidos. Okay. I don't even know where they were from. They were Puerto Rican. No, like I don't know where. I don't even remember what their names were. Actually, no. One of the guys' names was John. Okay. I think. Whatever. Whatever.

We go out with these men one night. Next night, obviously, they're like, let's go out again. We had so much fun. We go out with them again. It gets to that point where it's like, oh, are you going to come home with me? And I start freaking out. And I go, we can't come back to your apartment because we're 17. Wait, so you were the one that cracked? Yeah, I cracked. You cracked. I cracked. You were a snitch. I'm a snitch. These men looked at us and they go, what? What?

And I go, I'm so sorry, but we had a great time and now we have to run away. And we ran away. We were just here for dancing. I mean, obviously I was not going to let these men like have sex with us because that would be like illegal on my part. I feel like. There's illegal stuff happening everywhere. Everywhere. You were having a good conversation up until that point. We were having a great conversation. Then I was like, I haven't, I haven't gotten into college yet.

I'm actually waiting on a couple acceptance letters. I actually don't think I'm going to get into college. This is a really dark time for me, actually. All my friends are going to college and I'm not.

my other girlfriends being like we could have just not ever told them i was like they had a right to know they had a right to know oh now you're playing the hero yeah so anyway that was my experience in hollywood florida at the hard rock casino and that's yeah that's amazing and that i feel like sums up florida where it's like i didn't know she was 17 you know

We got like eight Amber Alerts on our phones on the way. Yeah, what was up with that? It's Florida. It's Florida. Also, Florida's banning books. Are they? Well, I don't know. Why not just Florida? Did you see Julia Moore just posted her book that's about like having, it's a children's book, about having freckles and how it's okay to be different, got banned by the government. In Florida?

In all of America, I think. Books are being banned. So all we have is podcasts now. All we have is us, which means it's going downhill quick. Side note about Florida. We were so excited for our Is He Trash segment because we were like, we're going to get some prime time podcasts.

Florida garbage like in the Midwest I'm like oh Izzy Trash probably isn't gonna be as explosive because like these guys are nice and so like I wait to go to Florida I'm like Florida I'm like we're gonna get some real fucking idiots and you know what I always listen to my intuition when it's my job to pick the guy on stage and what

what happened in florida is i got too excited yeah because the first guy i looked at had a man bun yeah so i was like the talent here is just incredible overwhelming and i should have gone with my gut and just gone with him but i said i got greedy i said i want to see more so i'm going the crowd i literally got greedy i was like you motherfucker you mother what the fuck is that hat why are you wearing your sunglasses on top of your hat what's going on and then you happened upon

A mullet man. And you don't just look past a man with a mullet in Florida. No. And I was just like, I was between the two and I said, we're going with the mullet. Because in my head, honestly, between me and you, it was a win-win. Either one was going to be a slam dunk for us.

And the man, he's holding like a huge beer can. He's wearing like a white shirt, jeans, looks like, we were in Northern Florida, which is kind of the South. So he was kind of wearing cowboy boots. Like I was like, this is a win. Oh. He was wearing like brown boots. Wait, Northern? I've never thought of this before. Northern Florida, they're like Southern. They're like touching Georgia. Each other's cousins. What?

page sorry page sorry um she didn't mean that but she still doesn't think there's air conditioning in oklahoma city so you guys can message her about that separately and i didn't say it she did literally last time i went to oklahoma city they go we have dr page anyway so the guy comes on stage and i'm like literally i was like licking my lips i was like i'm about to rip this man a new asshole

And his name was Christian, which I thought was weird. That was also a red flag. I thought it was going to be something. Christian sounds too smart. Yeah, it sounds like it sounds Connecticut. Yes, exactly. Christian. I wanted like I wanted like Ben or like a Dirk. Yes. You know, like something like, yeah, something where you're like.

Or something really weird like a Gerald. Like that, like, because their great grandpa. Yeah. I don't know. It's just Christian was already throwing me off. Yeah. So we were already like, okay. Unsure. And then he was speaking and he didn't have like any accent. No, no twang. No twang. And I don't even know what Northern Florida twang is, but there's something. Yeah. And then I go, okay, let's start this off easy. What do you do for a living? And this man was a neurologist.

We can't even spell neurologist. I'm going to be honest. When he first said it, my first thought in my head was, wait, what the fuck is that again? He said urologist, but you reacted to it. And I was like, there's no way she knows what a urologist is. I've gone to many a urologist. Don't you dare bring up my UTIs.

I've seen a thousand urologists. No. And then I was like, oh, my God, this guy's a fucking brain surgeon. A brain surgeon. So we immediately are nervous. And then he used the word obliged on stage. And Paige was like, get that out of here. I was like, shut up. So now I'm realizing we're being outsmarted on our own stage. Let's also point this out. His girlfriend that was in the crowd, obviously the reason he was there, also a neurologist. So just two smarty pants in the house. She's like, we met in med school. And I go, this is awful.

What the fuck is going on right now? My head's starting to get hot. It's all backfiring in my face. And then...

I was like, where are you from? And he goes, California. I said, how dare you culturally appropriate Florida culture and dress like this and look like you punch walls if you watch your kid lose in a flag football game. You did make a really good point, though, where you're like, I don't know how I feel about my doctor walking into the room and having a mullet. Yeah.

No, immediately I'd be worried. Also, I'm like, this guy likes to party. Okay. Not to throw him under the bus because we said his name and I don't want him to get fired. But we did ask him how a girl pees with a tampon in and he said, take it out. He didn't know. He didn't know. He didn't know. And we're not saying we're smarter than doctors. We're just saying that doctors do not study women. Even brain surgeons. Even brain surgeons can't find your clit. Yeah. Even put it on a T-shirt.

Even brain surgeons can't find the clip. That's crazy. How'd he not know that? No, like if you're a surgeon, don't you have to go through like medical school? I mean, you would think that you'd have to at some point in the first year of medical school, you'd have to study the entire body. Just like a little, just a little like. They do study the entire body. They just study male bodies. Period. Period. Period. No pun intended. And they don't know about it. And they don't know about periods. And they don't know about them.

No, that's actually so crazy to me. I know. Everyone was worried. Everyone was scared. I was scared. I was scared. But then we asked him if you could overdose on beta blockers. He said yes, which you didn't listen to.

No, I did. And my doctor, my female doctor, just said, don't take more than six. Okay. I said. At a time? Can't promise anything. No, in a day. In a day. She was like, look, six is enough. But I actually have never taken more than two. Do you want to give the gigglers a beta blocker update? A beta blocker update. Okay.

Sorry, we're so tired. We're delusional. Okay, every time... Grace, if you're listening, which I know, I hope you are because it is your job. Every time we talk about beta blockers, please put in a... Yeah, please put in some type of sound. Okay, here's the thing about my beta blockers and like my anxiety in general. I knew that my anxiety was so self-induced and I definitely needed beta blockers

Throughout this whole tour. What do you mean self-induced?

Like I was putting my anxiety out. I was doing it to myself. Okay. You're sounding like your mom right now. Like Paige, stop. It's not your fault. You're like, right? No, it's not my fault. It's you having it, but it's not self induced. No, like I was putting myself in situations that like in my body, it was like, don't do that. And I was like, no, I'm going to do it. And then I was getting anxiety. Okay. Yeah. You were not in alignment. I was not aligned. Okay. But I just don't want you to be mean to yourself. Cause that also, anyway, thank you. Thank you.

Sorry, I listened to one Mel Robbins pod. Continue. So I took a beta blocker for Radio City because Radio City was just like, that was like crazy. And I was just like so nervous for that. But this tour, this like leg of the tour, I have forgotten to take my beta blocker. Like we'll literally be about to go out on stage and I'm like, oh my God, I didn't take my beta blocker. And then I'll run back, take it. But like, I don't need them anymore. And that's unhealing because you know when something is,

like consuming your brain so much like i honestly feel like you would the whole day you'd be like okay i'll take my beta blocker at this one is the beta blocker does that but everything was about the beta blocker you know when you feel in your life you're like my life will always be about beta blockers but what if i need all of them yes so like i need to get more beta blockers we've all been in points in our life where something's consuming us and then you're like how could i live without it and then one day you wake up like and you're

it's not even a topic and it's not even a thing and it's not even you getting over something it's like you don't even care anymore yeah so literally silly on stage we were taking photos because we take photos before we go on stage and you you run to the green room and i'm like oh no what's going on so i go over i think you're like having a freakout or something

And you just go, I forgot to take my beta blocker. And I couldn't have been happier. And again, if next week you have to take it again, that's okay. Here's what I've been taking them for. Social situations. Oh, so we've created just a new problem. Like I had to go to a party and I was like, oh, and I'll take my beta blocker after that. Yeah. Yeah, it did. Just keeping it chill.

yeah just keeping my heart rate at a steady pace i took my ablator blocker for the roast and i took one for my netflix special yeah and it was helpful um so yeah you yeah you've been great on stage silly goosey funny i've been in my silly era silly wild well the crowds have been fucking amazing and we only have one more leg of the tour left i know it's sad but i'm excited

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Wait, let's go back a little bit because we had a crazy week last week. We had a crazy week last week. Let's talk about the Michael Kors show. First of all, you get so nervous. I get so nervous when you come to fashion events because I know I've only been to two. You're nervous.

And then it makes me nervous. It's just an unfamiliar, like, I don't understand the hierarchy. I don't understand all the codes going on. I'm just, I'm here to have a good time. Yeah. But there's so much history and stuff going on. And Paige is looking at me like, don't you fucking embarrass me in front of my cool fashion friends. I don't know.

Okay, so I want you to talk about the Michael Kors show, but I need to start with this. So Hannah, so like they put like all the influencers in like one section. Everyone does like small talk and it's like, oh my God, you look so good. Now you look so good. Wait, I love your outfit. You look so pretty. And I usually just,

sit in like when I get to my like where they show me where I'm sitting I usually sit in my seat and I don't move like it I don't because I'm like I'm not gonna get up and like annoy someone you're not a social butterfly I'm not a social you're a social larva yeah yeah

You're curled up in a corner. If you want to socialize with me, you got to come to me and you got to sit next to me. And you're fine as long as people come to you and sit down almost like a cat. Smell my finger, my hand first. And then we'll chat. And then we'll chat. I can't get... I'm not getting up and going out of my way to like go over to someone else. That's not my personality. And I felt so bad because...

I only went to one fashion show this week and it was Michael Kors and I was running late. Like my only job was to get there on time and I was yapping it up with my hair and makeup people. Fashion shows never start on time. I Googled the fashion show start on time and they go, yes, they always start on time. And I was like,

I'm texting the Michael Kors people and I'm like, tell Michael. If they tell you if the invite says be there by 11, the show's not starting till 1130. OK, there's just no one. I was freaking out because I knew that you were there without me. Yeah. I mean, I'm punctual. So I got there at 11. But it's I actually was the first person in line, which was so embarrassing. But that's my nightmare.

It was my nightmare. Actually, this was crazy. I was at the Michael Kors show and like it's the girlies are doing the PR and who's going in and who's got blah, blah, blah, blah. So like

It's not like it's like grown adult women. Do you know what I mean? Like it's the girls. We are adults. No. Oh yeah. I guess we forget. I mean, it's not women that are older than us. It's, it's the marketing girlies. Yeah. It's the marketing girlies. So like when I go up to the line, I'm like, what's up girls? You know, like it's like, I'm not nervous for that part. And so I was the first person in line and she was like, sorry, like we're not letting anyone in yet. Like we're still like, and I was like, literally keep me out here all day. Like, I don't give a shit. You do what you have to do.

This older woman, I would say...

I would say 40, late 40s, maybe early 50s, maybe mid 40s. Who knows? I know she was like older than me and the marketing girl is. She comes up and she goes, you're not letting anyone in yet. And this girl is so nice. She's like, sorry, no, like we like still have to do like a few things inside. But like if you stand over in this line and the lady goes, I'm not standing in this line. And I go, oh.

Because the last thing you're going to do is be rude to the girl that I just met. Because now we go way back. This is my friend. Okay, and she's trying to do her job. And the last thing you're going to do is come up here and yell at her for doing her job. Also, it's crazy because there's like insane celebrities there. Like Kerry Washington. Insane celebrities. And this lady goes, so you don't have a different line for media? Yeah.

And the girl was like, no, bitch, we don't. Like basically like, no, get in the line. And I was so offended for her. And I literally looked at the marketing girl and I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like that was so rude of that woman. And she was and the marketing girl was like, oh, yeah, they do that all the time. Like I it didn't phase me kind of thing. Yeah.

That's when you know you've been in fashion for a minute when that stuff doesn't phase you. She was like, oh, as long as she didn't punch me in the face, I'm literally fine. And I was like, okay. So I was offended walking in for my friend that I don't know who it was. I'm like, the girl outside, give her a raise.

Plus, it's also freezing. Everyone's freezing. You're going to get inside. These girls have to wait outside until everyone gets in. Also, chill the fuck out. You're like, I just want people to know I stand with the girl up front. I stand in solidarity with her. I don't know her name, but I respect her, and I believe she should be treated with kindness.

No, she's literally trying to make a career for herself. And she doesn't need this mom yelling at her. I walked in exact opposite energy to the other spectrum where I was just apologizing to everyone. And they were like, why are you apologizing? I'm like, I thought the whole show was waiting for me. I thought Michael was holding it up for me. So anyway, you walk in. So I walk in. I get my seat. I take my pictures. I'm sitting there. I'm waiting for you. Everyone starts coming in. Hannah gets there. Now...

If I have an eye on Hannah and I know who she's talking to, I feel better about it. Okay. Once I lose her in the crowd, I'm like, she's gone rogue. I do shine in those. Like, I love a social butterfly. You are a social butterfly. Like, I'm yapping, yapping, yapping. Oh, hi. Oh, hi. Oh, hi. Someone's taking pictures. You're yelling to them while they're taking their pictures. You're making them laugh. I'm like, it's not a talent show. Okay. No. When I come to a party, I'm giving 100%. Yes. Yes.

Also, Rachel Zegler was walking by. Yes. But again, this wasn't like people weren't socializing. Like everyone was sitting down at this point. And I yelped. Like I barked at her. We're waiting for the show to start. Everyone made an announcement. Take your seats. And this is the thing. I felt like I was...

I felt like I was in school again where I was like, if I see my friend, I'm going to say what's good. We were, we were literally the juniors. We were sitting in our section and you saw a freshman that you knew walk by and you yelled to her. And cause that's the kind of human I am. Yeah. She got scared. Well, she's with four bodyguards. She did.

four bodyguards. You literally grab my leg. I go, cause you go, you don't know Rachel Zegler. And I go, I literally talked to her for 20 minutes once. And she looks at me waves cause she's literally being escorted to her important seat. By the way, I DMs her after, which was ballsy. Cause I actually was afraid that she was like, okay, keep Hannah burner away from me and my team. So I go, by the way, I'm so sorry. I barked at you at the Michael Kors show. And she was, you literally barked at her. I was like,

And someone's like, get your chihuahua back in its bag. And she was like, oh my God, I love you. Because I just know she likes Giggly Squad and I was sitting with you. It didn't work out how I wanted it to. No, you were actually correct in doing that. My social anxiety took over in that moment. I was like, see, when I'm anxious, I talk more. Like I get bigger. When you're anxious, you get smaller. So together, it's very, very funny. You're like that. I'm like the mom and you're the toddler that's holding the leg of the mom. And you're like, she normally is actually quite outgoing. Yeah.

but she's having a day that's literally you at social events and people be like Paige is so quiet and I go you should see her when she gets comfortable when we're home when we're home you should see her when we're at home also speaking of toddlers I'm not wearing pants right now Anna walks in my room immediately just takes off her pants it literally looks like she's about to tell me that she threw up I go can you wipe me

No, I'm wearing no panties. I'm wearing a long shirt, though. Let's just... I don't want people to think I'm... No, it's fine. Also, I'm wearing full granny panties. So then... Oh, yeah. So then... We're seeing people. We're seeing people. We're saying hi. Acquired style, Bridget and Danielle. Twinsies. Twins. On TikTok. Phelong, I think is their last name. Yeah. Gorgeous, cute, adorable. I think they're like 25, maybe. They're younger. Like kids. But like, you know.

Hannah, us grandmas, Hannah goes up to them. Now, I've never...

was a mutual we it was we were standing in the same section yes i've never met them in person but like i've seen all of their tiktoks and i just think they're so freaking cute i'm like always commenting on their stuff like you guys are adorable the problem is you think you know people yeah and i feel like i had i had met one of them before but i was very warm like to the point where it seemed like we've been when i meet girls that are that i know are like younger than us and like you i never think of age

See, I always do. See, in my head, first of all, I'm Gen Z. Okay. They see me and they go, I'm my Gen Z queen. I've literally... Also, I'm ageless in my head. Yeah, that's actually probably good. Like, I walk around... I'm a soul. I'm a soul that you can take or leave. See, I... Like, when I meet girls that I know are younger than me, I'm like, you're younger than me. I have to... Protect. Protect you and be...

so overly nice to you because if I like I know how I was when I was 25 and I would meet girls in their 30s I'd be like they know what they're doing and they were like whatever so I would be anxious so that's so I do it for my younger self it's really has nothing to do with them it's for my own you're projecting yeah I do though but it's funny I see them as just like other creatives in the field yeah see I see them as like I see them as I see them as being like I know I look like I'm 27 and

But I am not your age. I know you think I'm your age, but I'm not. I'd be like, no one said that. So Hannah says to them, can I ask you guys a question? And I go, oh, God. Like, it could be anything. Being friends with you, that could be anything. I'm like, I can't fucking wait to hear what she's about to ask these girls. I'm in, like, dad joke mode. I'm turning into my dad. Like, at the brunch place yesterday, I ordered a beer.

We're just tired. I order a BLT on sourdough bread. Think of the biggest sourdough loaf you've ever seen ever. It was insane. And so they cut it and they didn't even cut it in half. It's just like the biggest sandwich I've ever seen in my life. So the nice lady puts it down and I look at her and I go, I give myself, I think I'm an actress. So I give the tone. I go, Oh, I actually was expecting a bigger sandwich. Yeah.

She looked at me dead serious. I looked at her. Paige is like, Hannah, stop it. She's embarrassed. So I'm literally a dad. And then later on, the girl was like, by the way, I like Giggly Squad. And I'm like, you could have told me instead of leaving me high and dry when I tried to make a little. Yeah, I'm my dad joke. You could have acknowledged my dad joke. And by the way, I was at the point with the girls at the Michael Kors show where like we had said hi to each other and then we were still talking and I felt pressure. I had to bring something more to the conversation. Right.

So I got creative. So Hannah looks at these two girls and she goes, any chance you guys have ever watched the show Severance? And the girls are like, no. One of them did. It was like, maybe we've seen like one episode, but like, no. And Hannah goes, okay, well, in the show, I'm like, oh my fucking God.

In the show, there's like an innie and an outie. And like the innie has a real job. And I feel like that's you because you used to work in finance. And then I feel like the outie is like you because you're an outie.

content creator and i was just like oh my god you you're an innie and you're the outie and then one of them started laughing the other one was like what is she talking about did she just call me a belly button and then i was like and i have to go back to my seat and it was great chatting with you have a great show and i did do a follow-up dm by the way and i said hey um i hope you watch severance it's a really good show running home and dming everyone that we've met yeah i didn't i haven't

Okay. I remember all the people that I feel like I made uncomfortable. That's why I stay quiet in the moment. Cause I'm like, I can't, I can't have in my notes app, all the people I need to DM to make sure that they don't hate me. Cause I tried, cause this is my thing. I'm trying to get a laugh and the last one is risky. And two, it's not always appropriate for the environment you're in. Right. And when I'm constantly on the road doing standup, like I'm,

I just you have to be riffing all day. So it's hard to sometimes get yourself out of that mode of like trying to make people laugh, which can be super annoying. Yeah. Like some comics are just always clowns and you're like, hey, not the time to like work your material out on me. Like we're at a USPS. Yeah. Even like when we were flying in the pilot walk by like so bad, I wanted to call him a zaddy. And I was like, this is not a stand up show. Right.

This is a man just trying to do his job. You don't need to, the sexual harassment. Nobody talks about like when you're getting off a plane and the pilot comes out and he stands there and he says bye to everyone. A sexual undertone. He goes, you like that? Yeah.

Did you see how I landed that big thing? Was that a smooth ride for you? No, there's a sexual undertone of the pilot saying, have a good day. See you next time, babe. Come back for more later. Text your friends about it, wasn't it? This is a big plane, wasn't it? It was big, right? You didn't think it was going to be that good, right? But it was. I've been joking on stage about female pilots still, even though the female pilot community is mad at me. If I was there, I'd just be like, are you guys mad at me?

Sorry. Sorry. My bad. Please come back. Is energy weird? Okay. Thank you. Come over to the loudspeaker. You're just like, are you guys okay? I do have to say one thing about social situations, though, that has made me feel better. Everyone...

feels like they made an ass of themselves in some way yeah so what i realized when they leave they probably thought that they were could have been or they didn't but like everyone is insecure i'm worried about their own shit i used to be really insecure going to like workout classes or like to the gym i actually still am because i'd be like everyone's looking at me and knows i don't know what the fuck i'm doing and then i realized everyone's thinking that in their own head about themselves yeah and so it's like actually no one's thinking about you i actually i get

But Sonny is like, I actually know what to do at the gym. Yeah.

Oh. Like, no, like, I literally, like, have professional trainers in Division I school telling me how to do everything. It's more like I get very overstimulated by everything around me to the point that I'm like, I can't handle this and I need to be, like, alone. But... That's why I love Pilates. I have been in my Pilates era. No, we're Pilates girls. We... We're gonna make Pilates socks. We really think you guys... If you were like, what is the workout I should do? One, because you could lie down during it. Yeah. Yeah.

I love when they switch it up and they're like, okay, let's take a stretch now. I'm like, yeah, let's lay for a minute, bitch. No, we love our Pilates. No, we love Pilates. Okay, wait. So then after Michael Kors, then the show's over. Then we're like going back to like take a picture with Michael. Oh.

no i literally blocked it out i get snubbed by michael yes he hugged you this time well because i came in no i came in with a handshake oh you did i didn't even notice that well i was like overcompensating because of last time i felt like he didn't see me for me so i came in with the hand but right before we were about to take a photo with him one of the marketing girlies we were with was like do you know michael has a cat

which she shouldn't have told me because that was fresh in my brain yeah so the second i saw him i said i shook his head we love cats too i'm literally mid smile i'm like no she didn't i'm like no she fucking did it do you want to know what michael kors says back nothing silence he goes i don't give a fuck you guys like cats half the population likes cats you freaks get out of my line this is

sometimes you bring cats up to people and they're like oh my god i need to show you every photo i threw it out there wasn't caught yeah but you know what he didn't give anything i have to say though but he wasn't rude about it no he wasn't he was matter of fact and he said thank you thank you he literally said nothing i didn't even feel weird i just felt like

Another time. You know what? We'll catch up about this later, Michael. Have a good night. Michael, if you're listening. He's not. To all the marketing girls at Michael's Coors listening, let Michael know that we have cats. And if he wants to do some kind of cat thing with us, we are available. Wait, shout out to the Michael Coors girls too, because I needed an outfit for the Summer House premiere party and I literally dropped the ball on it. I had nothing and they sent me over the cutest little romper that they let me borrow. I'm like,

and they did it so quick people were going nuts over my pantsuit my people kim de sorbo sent me a text and said hey sweetie you looked amazing in the michael kors outfit she sent me a text too and said hey page hannah looks amazing did you get dollars i was like okay what about me i said you birthed me she said page come on you always look good you know i always think you look good

Well, so I started a new era of wearing my hair slick back, but keeping half up, half down because I think I look like a hard-boiled egg if I go full slick. But how many times have I been saying, your hair looks so good pulled back and you wouldn't do it? Okay.

okay aaron samuels okay well i'm just saying i've been saying for years you look good in a high pony why are you yelling like literally yelling at me i'm literally i'll tell you why because in middle school you know when kids say stuff that like they're not even trying to be funny they're just stating their matter of fact their matter of fact i wore my hair like that and some girl was like you look like legolas

And this was during prime Lord of the Rings. Is it Lord of the Rings? Yeah. Yeah, Lord of the Rings. Like Orlando Bloom. Yeah. Who, by the way, gorgeous, but not the look I was going for.

So immediately I was like, and if I do that, I look like a killer elf. And I don't want to do that. Right. But one kid was like, you have big ears. Yeah. They said I have elf ears and they weren't joking. So then I've taken that with me and you carried that. But I was super brave and I did it for the Michael Kors show. And it looked so good. Everyone liked it. Shout out to Kat Thompson. She did my hair. She's amazing. No, you looked amazing at the show. But then I tried to do it myself last night. We had a couple meltdowns.

A few. Yeah. I'm working on it. I'm figuring it out. Then we had to go to the lactate show. Yes. Which was... So funny. This is what dreams are made of. I love an intimate show. Oh, yeah.

Well, you know, comedy is meant to be in like a club environment. Shout out, if you weren't able to make the show, they have this Lactaid sweeps where you can go to their Instagram and they're sending out like Lactaid merch and stuff. Oh, cute. So check that out. I'm obsessed with Lactaid, one, because...

It's real milk, but just without the lactose. And as a woman in STEM, I don't know how they do it, but they do it. So it's like, you're not drinking weird made up stuff. Like we like drinking real milk. - I love real milk. - In this town. - This town is big enough for the both of us.

And a glass of milk. Yes. It was Hannah's literal dream come true. It was a room full of dairy baddies coming together at the Lactaid Dairy Lovers Lounge to celebrate real dairy just without the lactose. And of course, we made it special with a club giggly show. It was truly everything. But if you did miss out on it, you can still join the Dairy Baddies movement because Lactaid is giving away exclusive event merch. We're talking Dairy Baddies sweatshirts, totes, hats, and coupons for their delicious clippings

creamy lactose-free ice cream now until february 21st head over to lactaid on instagram enter the lactaid dairy baddies box sweepstakes by following the instructions on the official sweepstakes post and get yourself in the running so you can enjoy 100 real dairy without compromise check out all the details and official rules at the link in their bio so lactaid we had so much fun um

And I liked my outfit too. I was just going to say I loved our outfits. We were good. Here's the thing about me and Hannah that I think people really don't get. Never in the history of our friendship have we ever said, hey, this is what I'm wearing tonight. No. And like sent a picture, especially for Giggly Squad. We did an entire tour. We did not show each other one single outfit. No. We matched for every single show. And I know some people are like, oh, they look like they're going to different events. No. No.

First of all, it's our event. So we made up the event. First of all, no. First of all, uh-uh. Uh, no. Because we're different aesthetics. Same event. Look, I'm not fighting with this imaginary person right now. No, like, okay, so perfect example. Nashville. You wore a pink outfit. I wore pink and brown boots.

Period. But then you did buy a shirt from Instagram shop that everyone's losing their mind over, which I did not see that for you. I didn't see it for me either. Yeah. Sometimes I get sometimes Instagram shop like this. Look how millennial I am. They know us better than our own families. I love getting an ad for me that I'm like, yeah, thanks. Cut out the middleman. Why am I searching? Tell me what I want. Tell me what I want. That shirt.

It just happened to fall on... It was a great Valentine's Day t-shirt. Yeah. Because I was like, I'm not wearing pink or red. I did it the night before for Galentine's. I'm not doing it for... Not actual Valentine's Day. Actual Valentine's. Yeah. And...

I think it was really, really cute and really, really fun. No, it was fun. We've had a fun. This was a fun leg. I think because we had a decent break before it. Yeah. We had a lot of energy. We're not done. No, we're not done. We still have one more. One more show tonight at 8 p.m. I was on The Bachelor. Did you know I was doing The Bachelor? I had told you. Wait, one more thing about Michael Kors and then let's get into The Bachelor. Okay.

Everyone was DMing me from the pictures from Michael Kors being like, Hannah looks so good. Hannah looks so good. Then I started getting DMs being like, why do you guys look alike? Wait, you guys look like the same person in this picture. And then I had a thought, you know, like when you get an animal and everyone's like, you look like your cat. Like Daphne and I are twins. Yeah. I feel like we've been spending so much time together. No, we're blending. We're blending.

We're blending. Well, I did this interview recently where they were asking about us and our friendship and I realized like I am a comedian who low-key like loves fashion. Like I like creative stuff. And I'm a fashion person that is low-key a comedian. So we're actually very similar but like different fonts. We're right there. Yeah. And we're merging. We're at the intersection. We are crowning. No, that's the wrong word.

We're coming out of the womb. We're coming out of the womb. Oh, yeah. So I was on The Bachelor last week. Everyone should watch if they haven't. It was so good. Did you watch it? Also, I loved your outfit. Yeah. I support my friends. If there's a view to be had, I'm going to view it. I was going to say the only time I text you about your outfit is to just be like, do you like your outfit? Because I just want to see the mood you're going to be in for the night.

You know me so well. Because I literally, I don't care what you're wearing. I just go, is it good? And you'll either be like, it is so good. Like, I'm obsessed. And I'm like, oh, thank God. That's the only reason I went to the Super Bowl. Yeah, you were so excited. I was like, I have an outfit for a Saturday night that needs to be shown. Leather hot pants. I was like, I'm wearing a leather jacket in 95 degree weather and I will keep it zipped. Do you prefer hot pants or underwear? Hot pants. And you heard it here first. I'm curious.

Because you were wearing underwear for a while. Yeah, I was wearing underwear for a while. Underwear and tights and now it's... And now it's like mini shorts. Yeah. I like that better. Thank you. Because my labia be swinging. Yeah. She be out there. I love...

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Yeah, so The Bachelor, I was wearing a vintage Moschino suit. Shout out Tabitha. Yeah, you looked really cool. And then they were like, things changed. We're doing like a finance thing. And it was like possibly going to be Barbara Corcoran. And I was like, Barbara's literally my best friend. So that's great.

Somehow I end up on a finance date with Daniel from Shark Tank, who's amazing, owns Kind Bar. So sweet and funny. Shout out to Daniel Labetsky. But I was like, why am I here? Why am I here for the finance date? And they were like, we literally don't care. Go have fun. And I said, okay, well, I'm wearing a tie. I'm about to boss bitches around. There were all these rules because they do these games. Yeah.

Did not understand the rules of the game. But I was supposed to explain them. Well, and we find ourselves in a conundrum. That was the pickle we were in. And they kept being like, if they do this, I go, look. My job was when the girls got answers right was like to give them money. Yeah. Like fake money.

I'm not not giving a girl money. No, that's like illegal. No, they were basically like give the girl certain girls money and not girls money if they're wrong. And I go, I'm sorry. In this town, in this economy, every girl is right. And then the girls were so funny because I know I'm a people pleaser. They'd be like, Hannah, give me more. And I'd be like, yes. Yes. So I gave everyone. They were like, the game has gone awry. You need to like we need one winner. And I said, they're all winners. They're all winners. They're all here fighting for their life.

The funniest part about filming The Bachelor is there was a point, and I don't know if I was just giggling too hard, but some of the girls were gigglers. I think they forgot Grant was there. Wow. When the gigglers get together and they know there's other gigglers, I don't care if you're on The Bachelor, we'll stone a man. No, we were shooting for hours, and there was a moment where we were all just kiki-ing. And I was like, guys, shouldn't you be talking to Grant? Yeah. Because you have to get Grant's love. Also, the name Grant...

I do have to say, beautiful man. Beautiful man. Beautiful, tall, sturdy, smart. I don't trust a man named Grant. What are you going to grant? Grant what, sir? These wishes? I don't know.

You know, it's just, it's giving, it's giving. He can do it, but will he, you know? Well, he was standing next to me and you know, I was, I wanted to ask him my, is he trash questions, but I was being nice. I was being supportive. Cause I, you're being professional, professional, which is something I haven't done in a while. I mean, yeah, but there was a point where I was like, girls, you gotta start talking to Grant. Yeah. But,

Being... I watched The Bachelor, like, in college. I was so into The Bachelor. I actually had to take a break from it because it's two hours a night. It's the only reality show I've never watched. It's so good. Why? I don't know. It's so... You should start from the beginning. I think because when it was on, like, in its peak...

You know like when you're in middle school and like high school and you have things like that. Like okay I had dance class on Tuesday. I guess I'll never watch the OC. It was two hour episodes to the point that it started like hurting my mental health because I was like I'm addicted to this shit. Yeah. It's four hours a week. It's the only reality show. So like I never know people from The Bachelor or The Bachelorette and I feel like I'm like

out left out of the joke it's really everyone knows them and then they started bachelor in paradise which means like all these people that had lost in quotations on the bachelor are

in this place and like to stay you have to be coupled up like it was really like a psychology girl yeah yeah because you like when they say villa yeah i love it but the bachelor was interesting because i don't know what happened the previous night but the girls were tired they were like we had like an intense date or like the rose ceremony lasted like they keep them up like crazy you know what i'd be scared of

A tired giggler. A sleepy giggler? No, she's not to be trusted. The girls walked in and I was like, okay, we're going to keep it light and fun. No one's fighting today. You're going to keep it in. And then at the end they were like, do you want to do a confessional? I started feeling PTSD. It started to rise and I said, you know what? Bring it back. Roll back the tapes. I've actually got some shit to say. I go, what are you all going to talk about?

So I made some confessionals in it, which was really funny. No, you did really good. It was funny. And I think I had like one good quote about giving girls money. So I'm happy about it. So anyway, I'm back on reality TV. You heard it here first. I recently felt, speaking of age, I felt really old because I was talking to this girl and I mentioned something about high school and like your lockers. Mm-hmm.

And she was like, ooh, we didn't have lockers. And I was like, oh, like what kind of school did you go to? And she goes, we had iPads. And I was like, what? You just walk around with an iPad? You don't have lower back pain? You're not getting pushed into a locker? You're not forgetting your combination and embarrassingly being late to class? That's what made me a woman. So all their textbooks are on the iPad? I think so. But then it's like you don't have an excuse. Like, you know, you're like, oh, I forgot my textbook. Yeah.

Also, by the way, we were lugging like eight textbooks around. Wait, do you remember? You'd have to go pick up your textbooks before school started. But some girls like you could get your textbooks at school. Like it was all like based on like your district. It is very Hunger Games if you really think about it. Very Hunger Games. And then the one kid who was smart and put it in a rolly bag was...

was brutally bullied. Brutally. Because that was socially unacceptable when they were actually just looking out for their L4, L5. Do you remember there would be like every year there was a different cool way to wear your backpack? No.

Well, oh my God. Do you remember when like bags got popular? I had a bag. Yeah, that is like, how did your shoulder even? I couldn't do it. I would go to Victoria's Secret and whatever new tote they had, that was my backpack. Yes. Then there was also like a phase where like if boys, like boys, I obviously didn't have, go to school with boys, but like when we saw them,

Like if they wore their backpack like really high up, like there was something hot about it. Yeah, I remember that. And then there was like the one strap guys. Yes. Also, there are the guys where I'm like, he doesn't have any books in his bag and he's not going to class today. Going to an all girls school, we did a lot of reverse backpacks where we would wear our backpack on the front. Like we were pregnant women. We could get into it easier. Yeah.

We had such different school lives. Like I can't imagine going to an all girl school. It was mayhem. Mayhem in like a good way. Like you just have like best girlfriends, but then also like insanity. Well, I think it's, I think being surrounded just by girls in high school is,

It lets your psychoticness fly freely, you know, because it's like no one here is going to judge me because we're all the same. And so it lets you it kind of it just relaxes you. You're like, I don't give a fuck. There was so many hormones going on. Like, I remember there's this one girl who.

who i don't know about you but like i never noticed girls boobs like that's my friend like i'm looking her in the eye that's my friend and every like i was with some guys and they were talking about like how hot my friend was and i was like okay you don't sexualize my friend and they were like have you ever seen her yawn in class and i was like what do you mean like whenever she yawns she like stretches her arms and she has like and her boobs like she stretches the men should be locked away till they're 32 i literally was like

how fucking dare you? She's tired. And then like, I see her yawning class. I'm like, I remember thinking during class, like, Oh no, Camilla's going to yawn again. No, she didn't get a full eight hours. The men are hard. See, this is why I know I can, I will never send my daughter to high school with boys.

There's a lot of times that girls would get embarrassed to maybe like raise their hand and say something. Yeah. But then I would argue that like you still didn't raise your hand. Absolutely not. So imagine if there are boys in the class. I wouldn't have been able to do it. I also think it's based on I think, you know, your child. I think my mom knew and she's not going to. I think I've said it before how literally crazy I am. But yeah.

I was at a tennis academy. We don't talk about that. I was homeschooled for two and a half years. It was crazy. We don't talk about that. It's a dark time. We don't talk about it. Who did it? It was a Florida online class. And I was like at a tennis academy living in a house. And we would at 7 a.m. have to go do school. And I put that in quotations.

For how many hours? For like two hours. And then we'd go play tennis for three hours, lunch break, another three hours of tennis, and then gym. Like it was insane. Was gym necessary? Gym was so unnecessary. You just played tennis for six hours. Once my mom visited and she was like hanging out with us. And at the gym, I had a full body cramp. Like I was lying down, like it looked like I had a seizure. My mom was like, okay, Mimi. Maybe we pushed her too.

So long story short, I definitely was burnt out. And it was the middle of the school year when I got back to New York and I started working as a hostess at a Korean restaurant in Park Soul, Brooklyn. And I had to go into a school and that's how I started going to Beacon. But I showed up middle of junior year. With the lore. The lore.

But this is how crazy I am. I showed it to a history class, sat down, middle of the year, guy asked a question, raised my hand. No.

That's so you. No, the homeschool actually was not good for my math. Like, I definitely fell behind in math. I mean, I was at regular school and I fell behind in math. Because there was a lot of cheating. Like, we do online quizzes and we just be like, what's the answer? And you just Google it. Don't put me next to the bilingual kid for the Spanish final. Like, are you kidding? I'm sorry, but you think I'm not cheating off this guy?

Fuck out of here. I just always was very like into school. I come from a family of teachers. Like school was very priority. And I like to express myself through the art of raising my hand. Yeah. And then I remember Beth. Shout out Beth.

it was that period ended and she came up to me and she's like gorgeous. This girl gorgeous, but like the big boobs. Actually Beth does have big boobs too, but that's beside the point. Not the yawn girl, not the yawn girl. Okay. The young girl was honestly too cool for me. But so Beth comes up to me so beautiful, but like goofy, silly down to earth. And she was just like, do you have anyone to go to lunch with today? And I was like,

Actually, I don't because I literally just walked in three minutes ago and she was like, come to lunch with me. And that's the kind of thing you never forget. Never forget. Shout out Beth. To this day, I fuck with Beth. But my crazy lore was that they took me because I...

was playing for the boys tennis team so the tennis coach was like this girl she has good grades we got to get her in we want to win a championship and I tennis is a small world so I knew the guys on the tennis team so when I came into the school I was already friends with all these like senior tennis boys then I went to prom with one of the senior tennis boys we didn't touch we didn't touch because it was friends but like

That was the lore. In a world full of bitches, be a Beth. Be a Beth. Be a Beth. No, shout out to Beth, who I still keep in touch with. You want to know, it is crazy that, like, you can have these, like, moments in your life where you truly remember how someone else made you feel. Mm-hmm.

And like, I feel like I do have like a couple of those too, where I'm like, I will always stick up for that girl because she was nice to me. And like this random situation that means nothing now. I'm also like, even recently, like if I see any or last couple of years when I've been getting like hate or negativity, if I see someone stand up for me when it wasn't cool to, I will never fucking forget that. And I will ride that.

I think that's why I feel the way I do when I meet younger influencer girls. I'm like, I have to be overly nice to you because I know there's going to be a lot of people that are mean to you in this situation. I think also people are meaner to you than me initially because you look bitchier than me. Yeah. Yeah. That's just facts. Yeah.

No, people have been pretty mean to me my whole life. But I can never say that. I just had a Beth memory. I'm literally the same person as I was in high school. We're sitting at lunch and she's like going through a breakup. And Beth and I are besties, obsessed with each other. And she pulls out a cigarette.

I said, Beth, what is that? I'm obsessed with Beth. I said, Beth, what is that? And in her head, she's just like... Beth lights up in the cafeteria? No, no. We're like... Because we went out to eat in Manhattan. Oh, my God. We were just hanging out in Columbus circles, smoking cigs. Not me. You know me. I said, Beth, I thought this was life or death. I said, Beth, you're going to die if you take that cigarette.

She goes, Hannah. I'm obsessed with that. I'm having a fucking day. I said, Beth, if you put that cigarette to your mouth right now, I'm not going to be happy. And she was like, Hannah, I need this right now. And I grabbed her cigarettes and I threw it in the trash. And she was like, Hannah, no.

Hannah oh my god I thought I was saving her life Meanwhile next day she had cigarettes I don't know where she got them from I don't know who kept giving Beth cigarettes Wait that's crazy But I was Mrs. like You were allowed to just leave school I feel like I've been going out to eat since 4th grade I feel like in the suburbs they lock you in there No in 4th grade public school PS321 We all could go out to eat We'd go to Pino's across the street And we'd get our pizza for $1.50

or less the only time they'd let you leave is if you literally begged the nurse which i was always in there i was like i have to go home they're like you don't i'm like i have to go and then i text my mom and be like can you call the school and say that i can come home no you text me be like can we make plant parmesan waiting for me when i get home one time i just this was the best thing about going to an all-girls school one time i just had my period so bad

It was just so bad. And you know, like when you have your period so bad and you're like, you have to take that first poop of your period that was coming on. And I was like, I can't school environment right now. And my mom was like at work there. Like we literally can't like release you. Your mom has a job. And I remember calling my grandma being like, it's life or death. Can I please come? She was like, yeah, I don't care. See, not to like brag about how cool I was in high school.

Because honestly, I always had swag, but I did wear pads. I was wearing a full diaper. Like when it would get full, like I weighed 10 more pounds because I was wearing a pad. What year did you start wearing tampons?

in my freshman year of college when i was going out and my friend was like we only have tampons and i was like i can't lose my virginity right now and she was like do you want me to do it for you and i was like no i'll figure it out and then i rammed it in like to the side wall of my vagina and then cried and then walked to a party i've been a tampon girl since the beginning because you're a slut freshman year i was going to prom

Had my period. And my mom was like, OK, well, you have to put a tampon in. I was like, fuck yeah. I cried when I was like, I was like, I'm an adult. Do you think tampons should have lube? I guess you're lubed up with the blood. OK. And that's it for us. And that's our time. That's all we've got for today.

And we've been cut off today. That's all we can leave you with. Thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you so, so, so much. And we have shows in two weeks. Our last leg of the tour in Salt Lake City. Tacoma. Tacoma. Vegas. Vegas. And someplace else. I don't know. You guys have to check the website for the surprise date that we're going to. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye.

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We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!

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