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cover of episode Giggling about crossroads, machetes, and tinned fish

Giggling about crossroads, machetes, and tinned fish

2025/4/30
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Giggly Squad

AI Deep Dive Transcript
People
H
Hannah
一个在网络上表现活跃且具有复杂心理状态的个体。
P
Paige
Topics
@Hannah : 我与DSW合作推出了一个春季鞋履系列,包含各种类型的鞋子,以满足不同顾客的需求。在洛杉矶,我参加了一次试镜,但由于需要背诵大量的剧本,最终取消了试镜。我在洛杉矶的形象很独特,需要与我面对面才能真正理解我的幽默。我们的YouTube系列节目很真实,因为它展现了我们最自然的状态。我一直想成为一个有美感的生活博主,但那不是真正的我。我成为了Lululemon最新的品牌大使,这让我感到很兴奋。我在洛杉矶入住酒店时,房间迟迟未准备好,这让我很不满。我在酒店大堂喷了晒黑剂,之后参加了一个晚宴,结果晒黑剂还没完全干透,导致我的皮肤看起来很橙色。我在洛杉矶很喜欢一家名叫Salty Girl的餐厅,它专门供应罐装鱼。在图书活动中,当被问及如果我们的书是一种香味会是什么时,我脱口而出“我最好的朋友的阴道”。我们参加图书宣传活动就像在进行一场媒体宣传活动。 @Paige : 我们从未真正意识到我们在合作,我们的友谊和工作自然融合在一起。那些课堂上话多的女生,往往拥有领导者气质,她们充满“班长能量”。我们一直对粉丝们隐瞒了一些内容,但我们正在努力满足粉丝的需求。我们在巡演初期,决定在十个城市拍摄一些素材,并对粉丝们保密,这让我们感到兴奋和有趣。与艾米·波勒的访谈经历非常棒,超出了预期。在洛杉矶遇到一些人可能会改变你对他们的看法,因为现实生活中的他们可能与你在媒体上看到的形象不同。我在洛杉矶取消了所有工作,所以有很多时间散步和做Pilates。纽约人在天气转暖后会变得非常活跃,仿佛每个人都有某种“瘾”。纽约最近很多场所都变成了会员制俱乐部,这让我感到有些反感。如果一个会员俱乐部的门槛太低,我不会对其感兴趣。我最近申请了一个会员俱乐部,申请过程中的问题非常奇怪。会员俱乐部申请表中的问题像是在进行一场糟糕的相亲。纽约的餐厅变得越来越有特色,不再满足于简单的菜品。我成功说服朋友选择纽瓦克机场,因为它被低估了。Citizen应用程序上经常出现持砍刀的男子信息,这让我感到有些害怕,但也让我更加珍惜自己的生活。我希望Citizen应用程序与Dumois合作,制作一个直播节目。我在参加图书活动时,穿了一套80年代风格的西装,这引起了粉丝们的热议。我在洛杉矶的穿着风格与在纽约不同,我更愿意尝试不同的风格。我们在图书活动中穿着夸张的服装,有人评价我们像小丑。洛杉矶的图书活动就像一个高端的青少年读书节。我为了配合图书宣传活动,一直在调整自己的穿着风格。我不了解迈利·赛勒斯父亲与伊丽莎白·赫莉的恋情细节。我不信任那些用三个名字的人,我觉得他们可能在隐瞒什么。我不喜欢成年人用“比利”这样的名字,我觉得很奇怪。我对即将到来的Met Gala感到兴奋,但同时也感到疲惫。我们成为《纽约时报》畅销书作者,这要感谢我们的粉丝。我们的YouTube系列节目《Hannah and Paige Try New Things》即将上线。

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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous. It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers. I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages. Also, I'm not a fan of the

I mean, did you see the gifting? How freaking cute were all of those little boxes? I was obsessed with them. I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like

honestly with like sweatpants, jeans, capris. I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now. And then I added a lot of really cute heels. Honestly, I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels, which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things. But I really tried to think like what do you need for spring? So there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels, but I'm obsessed with them. So take a look at dsw.com.

Right now, the collection is live, and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them. Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my giggly wigglies? You know what that is? You know what a giggly wiggly is?

Like a Piggly Wiggly? It could be, and I'm open to your interpretations. Oh, okay. This is, oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. This is something you, in fact, made up. Got it. Okay. Okay. Keep it moving. When we get older, and if we have kids, and wait, sorry, I'm choking on my coconut drink. I'm in LA. Hold on one sec. I was just going to say, oh my god. It's been seconds. The button is off. How quick is it?

it gonna take for Hannah to bring up that she's in LA? She's like, sorry, I've been doing a juice cleanse and I'm just washing it down with coconut water. We're over here drinking cyanide in New York. I'm going, perfect, thank you. I'll have some more. This giggly-piggly thing is so stupid, but it's our version of the squiggles. When we're older and we're on tour, we're just gonna be giggly-wigglies for the little gigglers to watch us perform.

wait we need to start performing when we have children to start performing in venues that have like a separate room so moms can bring their kids and like put them in daycare while they while we perform I've realized that our humor is for toddlers actually and Lois is so excited to watch our docu series she's gonna

He's going to watch every episode. She also, my mom was visiting and she was like, let's play Giggly Squad. And my mom was like, okay. And she goes, you're Hannah, I'm Paige. Wait, wait. So she made my mom be me. Knowing that there's a little girl out there playing Giggly Squad. We're not okay as a nation. No.

Okay, you saying that like our humor is for four-year-olds, that's why like, okay, we're going on morning shows. We're going on Jimmy Fallon. We made New York Times best-selling authors list. Like we're doing all these things. We're doing a little too much, some would say. Sometimes I want to shake these people and be like, do you even know what we joke about?

You're saying they don't know who we are. No, like I felt like I've scammed. We are the Anna Delvey of podcasting. The best is when someone asks, we wrote the book like a year ago. And when someone asks you about a part of the book and you're like, I don't remember that chapter. Yeah.

And I'm sitting there and I go, that's crazy. Neither do I. I thought you had that. Someone asked me a question and in my head I was like, I don't know what she's asking me. So I just changed the question with my answer. And I was like, yeah, how do you like that from media trained? You are such a good politician. Back to me in L.A., you guys. When I tell you I'm a monster in L.A., I had an audition, right?

They said I have to memorize five pages of script. I said, yes. I sat in my room for seven hours. And it's hard when you're alone. Also, my brain was not processing any of it. Call my manager. I said, hey, it's not good over here. Yeah. Cancel the audition. Wait, I feel like you gave like your... Wait, so you didn't do it? No.

I was just going to give you a compliment too. I was like, I feel like you give off, you're a good studier. I am, but I need ample time. And they gave me one day and me alone in my room with so many distractions and then a script. I mean, the bed's right there. It's like, I was in the bed the whole time. Every time I would repeat a line, I'd be like, well, now I have to go check something to test myself.

I actually have trouble with memorization. So then I started to get in my head and I'm like, this is my struggle. But this is the thing. There was a self-tape option where you don't have to go in a room and have it fully memorized. Who's ever picking the not self-tape option? Look, people have told me I'm better in the room.

Okay. That's what they say in this town. They're like, I guess you kind of had to be there. If that was a person, it's you. If you just watch me online, you're not going to get the full...

The full charm. It's kind of niche, actually. You kind of have to be like surrounded by her and not be able to leave to like really get her humor. But I'm kind of proud of myself because I never quit anything. And I feel like it was super empowering that I was like, I can't do it. And I don't think I've ever done that before. No, you notoriously like you'll make it work. Like sometimes being, it's funny, like everyone,

Okay, we get asked the question a lot, like, how are you best friends, but you, like, also work together? And, like, we never know how to answer that because, like, have we ever worked together? We've never been conscious that we're doing anything together. Like, we've never been conscious, like, oh, this is a work meeting we're having because when we see each other on the screen, we're like, this is a bit...

I went to your hotel room to work on something and we talked for four hours about other things and then you ordered room service for a family of eight and I got judged for it because I opened the door. You loved the rice pilaf. You loved the rice pilaf. Incredible. I love rice. People don't talk about it enough. When I want four million of something, I order rice. I forget what my original point was. You were saying that I never quit. Or you weren't. I didn't.

I mean, someone somewhere could have been saying that. I was like having boundaries with myself and I, and you know how bad I have to be for me to think I'm going to do a bad job because most of the time I'm delusional and I'm like, yeah, I got this. Call my manager. No, wait, that's what I was going to say. Being on like work texts with you. Like I,

We know each other, so we know when the other one's like, oh, yeah, totally. This is my work voice. I feel like you're like, yeah, absolutely. We can do it on that day. And I'm like, I don't know if we actually physically can, but she's a pleasure to work with. Oh, my God. Thank you. As a child, if you got like she talks a lot during class.

Obviously, I got that. On the report card. You now, as an adult, get you're a pleasure to work with. Interesting. Let's normalize that pipeline. Well, you know what it is? I think the people who were talking too much in class, they wanted to be leaders. They were like, I'm not a follower. I'm not waiting for the teacher to start a topic. I'm bringing up a topic to my friend right now. They give class president energy. They give class president energy. Hannah said to me the other day, she brought up this phrase...

class president energy and ever since that moment in time i have not been able to get it out of my brain i think giggly squad is giving we are president vice president giggly energy for the class for the class like the two of us like we are the class of 2020 i feel like like giggly squad is the class of 2020 we are and

And now that it's 2025, we're like, we're only like... We just graduated. It's basically 2021. But also, okay, not to brag, but we are giving... We are keeping the Gigglers fed. Their bellies are full and I could not get enough of it. We are like... We've been holding on to a secret from the Gigglers and we never do that. Honestly, I rarely say this to people who aren't me, but like...

We've seen too much of us. Like, it's too much. I go on my Instagram. I'm like, it's too much. Are we oversaturated? What is it called? Overexposed. Overexposed. We are one good article away from blowing it all up. True. We're one quote. But I'm so excited. To disappear for a while? No, no, no. I'm so excited for our web show. Oh, wow.

What am I, a thousand and two years old? Well, we should tune into the web series we're putting out. I don't know. That's like my old man voice. I've never done it. I've never heard it. You'll never hear it again. Wait, I love him. His name is Frank. Ron. No, he's Italian. I'm glad that we were aligned that he's a one syllable man. We knew he was a simple man. He's a man of few words.

So in the beginning of tour, we're like, if we're going to be doing this, we have to create some content. Yeah. And I said, what if we forced ourselves to do something in 10 cities? And we did it. Like we committed to it and we hid it from the gigglers. We were so sneaky with it. It was so much fun, though. Like, here's why I loved doing it.

It's so I hate using this word, but I feel like it's just like you so much. It's so raw. No, it's so raw, especially because people a lot of people discovered us on reality TV, which is quaffed is the word I'll say.

It's giggly squad if we didn't have microphones. So it's just our typical banter back and forth, but like being placed in situations. You're literally flying the wall of us being placed somewhere and full survival mode. Like we weren't thriving by any means. No, we weren't. We didn't like accomplish things, but like we... We survived. We tried. And...

There were so many times where I'm like, I don't think we can do this. And we did it. I have to say I watched the trailer like 50 times. Oh, I should have a thousand times. I'm obsessed. I'm like, Iconic never been done before. I'm like, I don't know how YouTube works, but surely there's an award we'll get.

for our two minute trailer. Also, we want to give credit where credit is due because everyone's like, give Grace a raise. Does Grace need a raise? Yes. Do we actually, should Grace be paid more than both of us together? Yes. Grace was our head tour manager, traveled with us everywhere, made sure we were everywhere we had to be. We hired Hobson, who's a new character in the story. No, truly, I feel like we're just like introducing new character arcs.

So Hobson came in as our cunty...

Videographer. Videographer. That was a big word. Yeah, that was a lot of syllables. I wasn't prepared for that. I quit halfway through the word. So she just like rolls in and like has her camera on. Occasionally she'd ask us questions and then she edited the frick out of it. Yeah, she did such a good job editing. Here's like something people don't talk about until like you're putting like a show together like that. The music...

It changes the whole vibe. Well, initially, you know, I told her, I said, I want hip hop. I want vibes. I want pussy popping, like slightly misogynistic. Oh, did you say that to her? Yeah, I said, I want hip hop. But then she gave me the like that simple piano, which is definitely like the office vibe. And I said, this is so much funnier. So much funnier. Because I can't always be in, you know, swag surfing mode. Right.

No, I'm certainly not. See, I would say 90% of the time I'm not in swag serving mode, but that 10%. You got to catch me at that 10% though. But the piano makes it so funny and I'm locked in. I can't wait to watch. And you guys, these episodes, I'm going to drop it. They're up to 20 minutes. This is as long as a TV show with commercials.

So interesting is because I've always wanted to be like an aesthetic Sunday afternoon vlog girl. Which you still can be. Nothing stopped you. Nothing's been in your way. It's the same way I feel about my grid. I'm like, I've always want my grid to be so perfect. And I always want to make these like clean girl videos. But it's truly not who I am. I know. And I know why you hate me.

Because I am the arch nemesis to your grid. The second your day is going well, I'm like, hey, can you collaborate on this? And you're like, hey, why don't you collab on this and fuck a thumbnail? You know, like never thought of a thumbnail in your life. What is that? TikTok? And suddenly I hear a scratchy voice. What is that?

Out of nowhere. No, I just want you to share. Like, for example, we went on Amy Poehler's pod. Can we shout out to the queen, to the goat, to our everything? It's just like it doesn't make any sense.

We found out through the grapevine that Amy Poehler listened to Giggly Squad. We retired, then came back into the public eye and said, okay, we have to figure out how to deal with this. We're ready to work. Ready to work. How would you describe the experience of going on Amy's pod? I just, like...

It's so it's interesting because in the same like month, I literally got to meet Amy Poehler for the first time and Chelsea Handler. Yeah. And I could not have had better experiences. And like those are two experiences that you're like,

wow if this doesn't go the way i have planned in my head like my whole childhood and like growing up was a lie and like i don't know if i'll recover from that yeah and the fact that both interactions were like better than you could have ever hoped for and they were just like the most normal real like i felt seen not to be so la right now i feel like i'm even talking differently on this pod today but i when you meet people in this town if they suck

They're like part of what you consume day to day. So like they ruin whole TV shows. Like there's something about. Correct. And sometimes they don't even suck, but they're just different than what you thought. And then you can't watch them the same way because you're like, he farted in my face and walked away. Like I can't take him seriously as a superhero. Like that's an example. Nothing like that happened. Kind of like a really niche, but like iconic example.

But like something that like should be in a TV show. Like that's... Mark it. Chris Hemsworth literally ripped ass in front of me and then turned around. Blamed my mom or the dog and walked away. And I was like, but sir, you're Thor. Thor doesn't fart. It's part of the script. Did Chelsea and Amy change your opinion of blondes? Yes. No. No.

Okay, do you want to hear something so funny? Because this is like, this is a story from my childhood that is like deep rooted in my thing for blondes. First of all, side note, actually there's two stories, but whatever, we're going to make them concise. One story, when I was like modeling and if I didn't get like a certain job or something and if I were to ever ask my mom like,

hey, did I like book that commercial or did I book whatever? And she would say, no, they went with a blonde. In my head, it would register as like, oh, well, I'm not blonde. So like I didn't even compete against that girl. But it went back even further. When I was younger, my dad owned a car wash. And one day me and my mom went to this car wash and he had like candy like on the side of the car wash and he would like give it to little kids.

And one day I saw my dad talking to this little girl. Was there a van involved? She was with her mom. She was with her mom and my dad's like talking to this little girl. And I guess like I had just never seen my dad interact with a child other than like myself. So I was, as you can imagine, taken aback. And I was like, who is that girl? And I couldn't explain to my mom like what I was saying because I didn't know the word for blonde.

So I'd be like, who is this little girl? Like with this, like... I was like, mom, she has a mom. Why are we not fighting these two? You fight her, mom. Get your own dad. And I am the daughter. Like... And it truly traumatized me. Like, I don't know if I thought like my dad was going to go with like this little girl and like be her dad or what like I cooked up in my head. But like, it's deep rooted, my thing with blondes. My favorite is when we meet gigglers and they're blonde and they go...

Paige, don't worry. We're really brunettes. No, I know. The gigglers are really funny about it. Also, like, I'm not kidding. Every guy I've ever dated, I feel like immediately dates a blonde after. And I'm like, oh, you didn't you didn't get me at all. Like solidified. That's like our number one. Like, you don't do that. Yeah, I kind of like it because I'm like, oh, yeah.

We didn't. We weren't for each other. We didn't mesh. Oh, 100%. Because you've never once been seen with a blonde man. Not even accidentally. You haven't accidentally slipped on a blonde dick ever. And you slip all the time. Never.

I've literally never. Such a bad segue. Well, meanwhile, I love blondes. I love the blue eyes. I love us. I love silver. Someone say. Wait, we didn't talk about how we met literally the girl version of Daphne in L.A. Remember when we were doing the book signing, that girl was like, my name is Daphne. But she like also looked like Daphne.

She was Daphne and she had like big blue eyes and like and she was gorgeous cheekbones could slice an orange and she had like long luxurious blonde hair and I was like wait you are my cat you're my cat you sent me a photo of Daphne looking in the mirror at you and it was the most page coded photo.

No, when Daphne goes up to the mirror and just sits in front of it and looks at herself and then looks back at me like I'm just like, yeah, look at you. She looks back for my approval and I'm like, that's my daughter.

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Shout out to Kim and Lenore. If you don't know, Kim and Lenore, our mothers, were asked to open Amy Poehler's pod and ask questions. I think my mom was like joking and Amy Poehler was like, what's your question for Hannah? And she goes, are you pregnant?

Okay, sorry. God forbid your mom runs a bit on a comedy pod. God forbid I bloated this week, mom. But I think she said that because I joke that no one ever asks. That was the joke. But then I'm like, oh my God, everyone's going to pick it up and Dumas is going to be like, Hannah's pregnant. No one said it. No one said anything.

Everyone else was like, look at Hannah's mom running a bit. The universe is like, please don't have a baby. Please don't reproduce. And of course, my mom got so spiritual and existential and was just like, I just want to know if she's happy. But also, Kim is like you. We're so similar to our moms. Kim is shy, but I feel like Lenore empowered Kim. And Kim was so good on the podcast. Kim could have clammed up.

Like you have many a time. She would have never been able to do it if your mom wasn't doing it at the same time. That was one of the things she was nervous about. She was like, do you think we're going at the same time? No, I think they are Giggly Squad. No, they are. They should have a recap show. They're the new Watch What Crappens. And they just say what we say in voices and make fun of us. I love that. I love that. So because it's nice out in L.A.,

I've been walking. And also because I canceled every job I had. I was just going to say, maybe because you are unemployed. Unemployed, nothing to do. You're like, you thought you were a nepo baby. I told you. I was going to say, what have you been doing out in LA? Like, have you been doing really LA things? Have you gone back to our Pilates place? Like, what's going on? So I went to Pilates this morning. Katie Couric was not there. But I did Pilates. And then...

I walked around. I do have to say, I also was walking around when I was in New York, though, because, you know, the second it hits 60 degrees, New Yorkers go fucking feral. No, everyone, like, has a drug problem. Like, they've quit their jobs. If you don't get on a rooftop in five seconds, your, like, head explodes. New Yorkers are not okay. You literally get evicted from your apartment if you don't go outside.

go outside wait i have to tell this story yes okay sorry were you telling a story no okay i was just talking about walking were you saying anything of importance on our podcast have i ever said anything of importance okay perfect okay so if you don't live in new york city let me just set the scene for you

quite quickly. In the last year and a half, I don't know what's going on in New York, but every single thing is a members club and everyone's joining, joining a members club. They're staying there for six months. They're canceling. They're going to a new members club. Now FOMO really does nothing for me, but also like,

Sometimes it does. Like if I am if I want to go somewhere and I can't have restrictions put upon me. But this is my thing. If all I have to do is pay to be a member, that's not exclusive enough for me. If it's easy for me to become a member, I'm not interested in your club.

Here's the thing. I don't like people telling me I can't do something and I don't like relying on people either. So like if I want to go somewhere and they're like, you can't come because you're not a member and there's no like. You don't want to deal with that. I'm like, I'm not dealing with that. I'm becoming a member. So whatever. So usually there's like all these questions. How many questions are you a member of? Currently three. And I don't go to any. You don't go.

If you have to go once. Here's the other thing. It's not just three. It's three worldwide. So if they have houses other places. And you know, I love that because I'll just be like, take me with you.

And I don't leave my couch. Now, I was applying to my most recent one. And sometimes, look, sometimes I get to not do the application process because maybe I know someone here and there. But I had to do an application process for this one recently. And it was some of the craziest questions I've ever seen. Was it like a psych evaluation? Like, have you ever thought of... Like, I did a screenshot because I was like...

Surely I'm... You ordered caviar. It came. And the caviar was smaller spheres than you thought. What do you do?

A, throw it at the waitress. B- No, it wasn't multiple choice. It was like, write in your answers. Hold up, I have to find this. No, I- Like, I wrote a whole book. I'm not writing a thesis statement about- I just put a link to how to giggle. Okay.

Okay, and then I'm like, am I being weird in these answers? So, okay, here's the first one. Tell us something. Tell us something. It can be your life story, a fond memory, a time that made you laugh, a successful career experience, or anything you want to share with us. Nope, I'm out. I'm already out. I'm out. You're doing icebreakers with me? Get me the fuck out of this burning building. No. In my head, I'm like, wait a second. This is a literal bad date. I don't know if this is...

This is the club for me. Wait, do you remember when Facebook groups, I think I still do it, they'd be like, oh, you think you know these people? And you have to answer questions about the group you're going into. So I... Right. This prompt actually makes me sweat, and I hate saying a fun fact about myself. Oh, you're quirky. You're quirky. You're not like other girls. I host a podcast with my best friend, and last week we were on Jermaine Bell.

Wait, you're a cunt. You go, Jimmy, period, Fallon, period, Google it, period. Suck my dick. Oh, my God. I literally could not stop laughing. And I was screened and I literally took. I'm surprised you didn't send it to your brother to do it for you. OK, wait. That's usually my go to. Wait, here's another question.

We rely on our existing members to curate and shape the membership via their nomination. If you are already a member, name one or two people in your circle of friends that you would nominate for a membership. I go, I would nominate my friend Hannah Byrne. And that's where we're going to have to stop you. She's an accomplished stand-up comedian and business. I don't want to be a part of this fucking drama. I am up to here with shit.

Okay, here's the last one. We would love to know more about your family as well. Do you have a significant other or are you happily single? If you're attached, please tell us about your other half, including their name and a photo. What? Wait, they're basically like, do you have good taste or do you like a ghost?

Are they symmetrical in the face or not? Needless to say, I did get in. Well, this is the thing. You love this shit. Like, you just want to be able to go the one time of the year you may need to go. They were like, cool, we'll see you in 12 weeks. I was like, all right, here's my credit card number. So at some point in time, Hannah, we can go to the hottest new members club when it opens. Okay, cool. Well, now I'm excited. Yeah, so...

I just, I did say we were in a lesbian partnership, so just go with it when we get there. But we are. But where's the lie? I have to say, when I was walking around New York, I realized I haven't been outside in a second because, okay, maybe it was because I was in the East Village Lower East Side, but restaurants have gotten out of control in New York. It's like just being a restaurant isn't enough anymore. They have to be like very specific. Have you noticed this?

I think I know what you're going to say. One shop is like, just gnocchi. The cool ass gnocchi store. And the next one's like, sweet potato. All different kinds of sweet potato in different ways. And then the next one is like... My favorite is the rice pudding place. The rice pudding place. Like, there are all these niche foods. And I'm like, whatever happened to just Italian? Every time I walk by the rice pudding place, I'm like...

You guys bringing in that much volume a day, though, that you're paying this rent? I've never seen one person walk in there. No, I think a lot of those are money laundering schemes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And like, I respect hustling. I support women in the arts. Totally. But it's, it's just so funny, the specific stuff. And then in LA today, I ordered something that had a salad on it, which I was not happy about, but it was micro greens. To sing? Oh. Oh.

So today we micro-dosed at lunch and like... This is your new question to get into the club. When you hear the word micro, what's the next thing that comes to mind? What generation are you in? Micro-trans. Recession indicator. Finish the sentence. Micro? Micro greens? Just...

a fucking salad like a normal person why did you grow a micro green and they taste like grass yeah micro greens are like legit weeds no weeds yeah without the dandelion like without the cuteness yeah no it's crazy um but then i went to this restaurant i saw that you like went out were you jealous yeah i was like what is she doing and i didn't and i didn't tag the people i was with no that was so

I just put someone's hand holding a wine glass. You hard launched a friend. It's all just to fuck with you specifically.

No, when you go to dinners with like once a year with other people, you tag like eight girls I've never heard of before. And then I say, who are they? And you were like, oh, you've met them. And I'm like, no, I haven't. Hannah has one other best friend. And every time she brings her up, I pretend like I don't know her. Do you do that on purpose? I think you do. I guess we'll never know. I guess we'll never know. No, I really don't. I really don't. Because you rarely say someone's first name. Like, yeah.

You really talk about people. It was a business meeting before I retired. And the problem was, oh, I had a Lululemon. So I'm Lululemon's newest ambassador. And I'm laughing because I'm the first entertainer on their roster. I was like, guys, do you want me to hit tennis balls? And they're like, leave that to the professionals.

They go, you're bringing joy. You're bringing laughter. You're the literal personality. And I was like, I'm here to be an athlete. And they're like, we have athletes. But no, it was so fun. I did this tennis thing with Lululemon. It's like this Beverly Hills mansion. So fucking fancy and cute. Day before, I'm telling you about it. And you're like, you're getting a spray tan, right? And I was like, yeah, obviously. Get back to my hotel room. Find a girl to come over. Yeah.

See, that's what I love about LA. They're literally crawling with spray tan artists. They're waiting to come in your room. You have to like... You check into the hotel and they're like, and you have a complimentary spray tan artist. So I literally had to check into my new hotel and I'm texting spray tan artists. By the way, the hotel I went to, it's 3.30 and the room wasn't ready, which...

I know we're getting into details here. We're getting into, what's the word? We're getting into the weeds. Into the weeds. Second time we brought up weeds today. But that should be fucking illegal. Yeah.

four o'clock I might as well check in at 9 p.m what am I right I thought I was paying for a night 4 p.m is halfway into the night I go to bed at 7 4 p.m and I cockily told my spray tan girl to get there at 3 30 so I'm sitting there waiting for my room I see my spray tan girl because she's holding like a ton of spray tan stuff sits next to me have to decide do I tell her but then I don't know how long I'm going to be stuck here waiting for the room

Oh my god, so you just do the spray tan in the middle of the lobby? Luckily, they go, your room's ready. She sprays me, iconic. Get told I have to go to a dinner. Well, it was like a dinner I wanted to go to, I just didn't know if it was happening. And they're like, dinner's on in two hours. Okay, okay, so two hours. So you know where this is going. And she goes, look, the express tan is four hours. I said, okay. Okay.

We're going. Did she powder you? She did. She powdered me. But let's just say I showed up at the dinner. People. It was orange. People were looking. People were staring. Yeah.

I walk in and every single person that I talked to, I had to be like, this is a spray tan, by the way. It's baking right now. It's a whole thing. You wouldn't get it. I'm kind of marinating right now. I thought it was going to be two hours express. It's actually four hour express. And I only brought one outfit, right? Next day, I made some friends at the tennis event and they were like, do you want to go to dinner? And I go, I know a place.

This is the thing about me. If I like a place, I'm going again. I'm going back. So now I'm a regular at Salty Girl. Did I tell you that's what it's called? Wait, shout out Salty Girl. It's in Boston and LA. Please come to New York. It specializes in tin fish. I don't even know who you are right now. What in the fuck is a tin fish?

Are you talking about like caviar? No, like you open a tin and it'll be like smoked mackerel or sardines or I actually forgot, but it's like fish in a tin can. It actually sounds like we're prepping for the apocalypse, but we're eating from cans. Yeah, I think that actually sounds like it.

That sounds so scary. Like, this is the hottest new restaurant and they've eliminated utensils. No, like, Beyonce's gone there. Okay. Next day, I show up wearing the same outfit because I only brought one outfit. So then I tell everyone. So then I got embarrassed at Tin Fish wearing the same outfit. But anyway, that was my social life. And I bet it smelled.

I mean I bet it smelled like spray tan and I'm sure I'm I mean I'm all I bet my life on it that you sweat at dinner you know me when I get a good story going I start sweating immediately when I get a good banter back and forth no you guys after recording the podcast I'm soiled sorry I didn't mean to say that word

No, in the summer sometimes we, there was like one time when we were recording the pod, it was the middle of the summer and I was like straight up fighting for my life. I feel like I almost passed out. No, this is, it's a marathon, not a sprint. One last thing about me walking. Have you walked? I mean, we've only been trying to get to it. You started the pod with this story. Have you walked around in an airport recently?

Yeah. Why are the floors so sticky? Like, I don't know if it's because I had new sneakers on. I'm tripping the entire walk to G4. You know, it's like one of my favorite conversations, like as a New Yorker that like everyone has had. I know what you're going to say. The discussion with other New Yorkers when you just like lay down the law on like Newark, JFK, LaGuardia, New York.

Everyone gives their points and then where they're located in Manhattan. And so that what makes sense for them specifically to go to, like, I'm so happy. Like I fully converted one of my friends over like fully over to Newark airport. And I was like, I just don't think you're giving it the credit that it deserves. Are you the face of Newark airport? Like the face of Newark airport. And I don't want Delta to find out about it because it is a United hub. Yeah.

I'm like super dialed in with the Tri-City. This is random, but one of my friends who's doing great, and it probably can't be disclosed yet, but she's working with Bob's Discount Furniture, and I've never been more jealous.

That's kind of how I felt when I saw that Heather McMahon was on a cruise doing comedy. And I was like, wait a second, how has Giggly Squad not been asked to go and do a Giggly Squad themed cruise? And I got really jealous. You would just have a panic attack immediately. I mean, 100%, but the invitation is still nice. We go, who wants to have a panic attack on a boat with us?

Who wants to really raise the stakes? You can't get away because you're in the middle of the ocean. Anywho. Speaking of stakes. Yeah. Wait, do you have the Citizen app? I do. I was talking to my makeup artist in LA and she was making me laugh so hard. Shout out, Crystal. She was saying how she deleted the Citizen app because she was like, why are there so many men with machetes? Yeah.

The citizen apple really have you. How many machetes are there? The citizen apple literally have you so grateful for your own problems. Like I think of it as like a dose of like my own reality because I'm like, okay, I'm having like not that great of a day, but this guy is losing his damn mind. But also why is it always right outside your doorstep?

You know the other thing I'm like waiting for Citizens app to do a collab with Dumois because like the fact that you can go live on Citizens app I'm like that's not like just anyone can go live on Citizens app and like show what's going on. I don't have it because I want to like live in peace so like yeah and you definitely wouldn't if you had it so I haven't done it but imagine a Dumois Citizen app where it was like Leonardo DiCaprio spotted drinking a beer at and you just go live.

Yeah, and that person just goes live and then everyone else can like watch the live. Oh my God. That's actually terrifying, but a great great idea. A great business idea.

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one of the best products I've ever used. Coda Lee is available at Sephora and CodaLee.com. This is random, but I have a very important question, which we've never discussed on Giggly Squad before. I'm so excited. You're so excited, I could tell. Were you, I actually know the answer, but were you team Brittany or Christina? Do you want to say it on the count of three? Yeah. One, two. What I was originally. One, two. Oh.

oh well not originally but okay let's just do it one two three britney see i was team christina which is then why did you just say britney because that was you i thought we were guessing you okay rewind the tape can you guys rewind the tape what did he say grace rewind it

This is so us coded. I was obsessed with Christina because I was like, give her credit where credit is due. That girl has a voice. That girl has the talent. She is. She's. I felt like she was performing less for the male gaze. Looking at it now, I realize Brittany was performing for the male gaze. G-A-Y-S. Okay. I just thought that Christina was like tougher, less girly and better singer than

Oh, so you're less tough if you're more girly. That was internalized misogyny for me. Cancel seven year old Hannah. That was fucked up. That's fucked up. I get what you mean, though. She did have more of like a tomboy ass. Yeah, like she was. She was like more bad. Like she had streaks in her hair. Yes, she did. Red streaks at one point.

And I just when she hit the high notes, I just thought, but you know what it was? It was us putting two women against each other. And that's what the media wanted us to do. And they loved it back then, too. Here's the thing. Mine's simple and it's actually like too simple. And I think I was more of a Britney fan because Crossroads.

And there's just like not much else I could say. She was an actrice. Yes. You know? Yeah. And I would have loved to seen Christina dip her toe in that waters, but she just didn't. And so for that. Did you not see Burlesque? That's, you're going years later. True. I'm talking peak denim on denim. Zoe Zaldana. Iconique. Iconique. Iconique.

Should we remake Crossroads with me, you, and Grace? Wait, that's what our tour doc is. It's Crossroads. Isn't she, like, going to, like, find... What are they even going... What is the plot of Crossroads? You know, I've never watched Crossroads. Can I tell you a single fact about it now? Tell me one storyline on Crossroads. I feel like Zoe Zaldana does lose her virginity. And it's, like, to, like, the soccer coach. It's something really...

highly illegal but like we just like never said anything about it but anywho wait people aren't talking about jessica simpson's comeback what's going on what's she doing like i think she her and her husband broke up and she like she's singing again i love that for her and people were so mean about her vocals when like i'm sorry what her vocals are my breath away like take my breath away

Now let's talk about singers going to actress mode. Her in Daisy Dukes. Yeah, but that's not the name of it. What's it called? Those are just denim shorts. Wasn't she in a Dane Cook one? Dukes of Hazzard. I was close. You were close. Yeah.

Like, again, what was that movie? And, like, not good, but I loved her in it. Like, I like watching. This is why I can't watch post-apocalyptic. I grew up on Crossroads. I grew up on the Dukes of Hazzard. I need to see a pretty girl. I literally sound like an old misogynistic man. I'm like, if they're not pretty on the screen, I want to see a cute little outfit. Do you look good or do you look like shit? I want to see you look good.

That's so you. Why smile more? Why don't you smile more? Why do I get, like, so dirty? Can we discuss you showing up to the book...

event not dressing girly in a full dad 80s suit tie glasses how was it what was the experience okay well it's so funny because everyone was in my dms being like you're stealing hannah's style you're stealing hannah's style that's so funny because no one dm'd that to me really yeah my people were supportive they were like page looks so good oh my god see my girls turned against me

your girls were like this is not the page we signed up for we have enough of hannah we don't need more they're like we've been duped and quite frankly is this gonna stay for a while because we just have to know if we have to jump off ship i so the pages were not happy i got that suit um like that little set and then i saw that i had those glasses and i was just like

I can't not. Okay, so it was a set, so everyone can calm down. She wore a set. She didn't go completely rogue. And I just feel like when I'm in LA, I am different. And I am just more apt to like, fuck it, let's try it. I feel like I'm in a different country. And they don't even have the same TV channels. I'm like, it's different. I go, how do you say cucumber? Cucumber.

Yeah, I'm immediately Hilaria Baldwin when I step into LA. The thing, though, with outfits is, like, you actually carry yourself differently in different outfits. Wait, we got red to filth right before we got to the venue. Paige is wearing her outfit. I'm wearing my outfit. This man is just getting in the elevator, and he goes, are you guys going to play? Okay.

didn't even answer him we were like that was good and i don't think dumbfounded because he wasn't even trying to be mean he genuinely was like you guys look ridiculous and we go oh you don't understand what avant-garde is you uncultured swine he literally kim kardashian does he was like you look like fucking clowns you're like it's an oversized blazer sir he goes okay charlie fucking chaplain i think you wouldn't i did look like little house on the prairie

he's like sorry my sisters are acting quick oh god but the book tour has been so fun there was like smart people there it was like the coachella for books in la that we went to and um okay that's why i was like nervous going to la i was like wait this is like a real this is like scholastic book fair for like adults like on steroids wait you're so right so you were overcompensated you panicked

I was like, this is if the Scholastic Book Fair, like, grew up, got a job in finance, and, like, did cocaine. So I just had to get dressed appropriately. That is so funny. The LA Times was like, can you please not refer to us?

It's not really the brand we were going for, but thank you. Okay, well, let's tell the story. Wait, so we're at this book event and they're like, okay, guys, like now you have to go upstairs and like take your pictures and there's like one like little video thing that they're going to want to do with you. And we're like, okay, great. Like, amazing. Look.

The last thing you want to do to me and Hannah is put us on a set. Okay. Lights, camera, action. Yeah. With props. Yeah. They had one sofa and we were like, let's get into it. Like we'll make do. It's showbiz. Like figure it out. And they ask us the first question. Okay. Now mind you, it's in a room of like just men. Yes. Like,

That energy threw us. That threw us a little. Of various ages. And so they ask us the first question and it's like, if your book was a scent, like what would it smell like? And so,

Sorry, I like, I'm being myself. The first thing that popped into my mind, Hannah's vagina. What's so funny about it is because I was ready to be a professional. As you know, it's great working with me. Like I was going to put on my smart voice. I was trying to think of a soliloquy. You were like lemongrass, eucalyptus. And I was like my best friend's pussy. And when you said that, I could not have been more proud of you. Yeah.

Like, I was like, I raised her right. I was like, because she birthed this book, okay? Put some respect on her vagine. It feels like, you know, when you're hanging out with your friend group all the time and then you start talking to someone who's not in your friend group and you realize the shit you're saying is, like, not okay, but you've been enabled. That's us out of Giggly Squad. Like, fish out of water flopping around. The men in this room were...

So taken. It was as if they were going to take our rights right away in them. They go, this is why these bitches shouldn't have microphones. They're like, and this is why women aren't presidents. This is not the America we signed up for. And then you go in a Gwyneth Paltrow kind of way. And he was like, still don't know what that means. There's like one girl in the back and she was like, I got it. You know what's crazy? We're technically on a press tour. A la Wicked.

No, we literally are. Like, I didn't realize it until it was too late. I was like, this is a press tour. Really? Because I've been keeping character with my outfits as well. Are you telling me you haven't noticed? I've been dressing as a New York Times bestselling author. Well, the second you hit bestseller status, you brought out the fake glasses, which you...

I honestly have been kind of killing. But you don't commit to them. You take them off because you said it hurt. Because they give me headaches. You said you can't see or hear or taste. I lose all my senses. I would wear more, but I have a very specific shape that works with my egghead. You can wear different shape glasses because whatever, genetically, you're like lucky in that way. Hats and glasses. I do find that I can pull them off. I can't pull off a hat.

You can, but you're just like nervous. Yeah, I feel insecure. I feel like everyone's like, look at her in that hat. Yeah, they're like, she doesn't wear hats a lot and we know. I could tell that girl took a risk with the hat today. It was a weird one for a Tuesday afternoon, but we're supporting her. Someone's like, oh, sorry, you're in a hat. I just can't focus right now. Yeah. Wait, I feel like there was some crazy pop culture stuff going on. Is...

Miley Cyrus's dad dating someone? Elizabeth Hurley. Wait, can you explain? Who Elizabeth Hurley is or them dating? Just like what's happening? How'd they meet? Like, do you know the tea? I actually don't know anything except I did see that they like were posting on Instagram together. Imagine it's a PR relationship and someone was like, this will be good for you guys.

Not only, okay, here's the thing too, that like people need to be stopped. Yeah. They did a joint post on Instagram. Yeah. I just, I think because they are older, they didn't know. And they were celebrating Easter together. I don't know why, but I feel like we're supposed to be mad at Billy Ray Cyrus. I feel like I don't trust a man with three names that goes by three names. What are you hiding? What are you trying to distract me from? And Elizabeth Hurley, that's like,

Versace iconic like status she's she's like beyond an icon someone said Liz has a history of dating eccentric guys well here's the thing I don't think anyone of his family like talks to him like I don't think Miley Cyrus talks also I wouldn't call him eccentric he's a country singer

But, like, he's not. I mean, like, he is, but, like, he's weird. Like, his Instagram's weird. He posts weird things. He has a bullet. Like, they're giving me, like, Angelina Jolie. And her brother? No, Billy Bob Thornton. Oh, Billy Bob Thornton. Where they, like, wore each other's blood. Like, stuff like that. Hot take, if you're an adult, don't go by Billy. It's weird. Your name's Bill. Your name's William. Your name's William. Yeah, going by Billy...

Like, Josephine's dog's name is Billy, so it's, like, literally all I can think of. I think of a dog's name. Yeah, that's a beautiful... Billy. Hi, Billy. Not a grown man who has to pay taxes. Billy. Or Bobby. Your name's Bob. I don't mind Bobby. Not if you're, like, 70. Agree to disagree. I don't mind Bobby. I love a robber. Are you really sticking with that answer? I'm just kidding.

If I had to go toe to toe, if it was like this and like the between this and my soulmate, like if his name was Bobby, like I would be fine with that. I'm triggered because I actually did date a very good looking guy, but his name was Bobby and I couldn't take him seriously. I get that. And you're valid for that. Yeah. Is the Met Gala coming up?

It's literally tomorrow. It's next week. Oh my God. Are you okay? Like, how are you feeling about it? I mean, I'm excited about it. Honestly, I'm so exhausted from this month that I'm like, there's not much that could get me excited right now. You know, we didn't even really talk about becoming a New York Times bestseller. We didn't. It's kind of crazy. Because like the gigglers definitely don't read the New York Times. Yeah.

No, we certainly don't. I mean, we're on TikTok, which... Basically, the New York Times. But no, we wouldn't get this if it wasn't for the Giggler. So I just wanted to say thank you because it really is just such a crazy moment. Actually, we got on a Zoom with all of our team for them to tell us if we made it or not. We were waiting for the results, whatever, and they videoed it. And Hannah and I are so in shock that...

It looks like the video, like, it literally looks like we didn't give a shit because we were just like, wait, what? Like, there's just no way. Also, we didn't write a book to, like, hope that it becomes a New York Times bestseller. Like, we wrote a book to make the gigglers laugh. And then we forget that, like, gigglers have become, it's become bigger than us. Yeah. And we just love the gigglers so much. Yeah.

It's crazy. Like, we're still getting tagged in, like, hundreds of posts of people. Also, some of these girls are going on nice vacations with their book. No. Let's discuss that for a second. Bitches are in Turks and Caicos. Wait, let's talk about the gossip in which, like, where are the gigglers? Are we not working anymore? The gigglers are retired. Or they have cute as fuck pets.

No, the Gigglers are on vacation. And we love that for them. And we're going on it soon. We're going on one soon. And some of their engagement rings. I'm like, oh, okay. Okay, girl. No, like you can learn so much about someone's life just from their decision of what they post the book on.

Their aesthetic behind it. Yeah. I also, we should officially announce that our YouTube series, Hannah and Paige Try New Things, where we force ourselves to try new things in a different city each week. First episode drops Monday, 6 p.m. Lock in, motherfuckers. It's happening. It's game time. We're back on the big screen. Yeah.

When you watch it on your computer or you guys, some of you attach it to your real TV, which is women in STEM. Yeah. Hannah could literally never. I want to see if I have any final questions. Oh, I learned that there's nannies for plants. Love that. As someone who's kept one specific plant alive for like almost five years, I get that. And I agree with that. Would you ever give your baby to like a nanny to take care of? My plant? Yeah. 100%. Does Daphne try to eat her?

Never, not once. Has literally zero interest in my plant. Daphne's busy looking at herself in the mirror. No, Daphne is like, I really don't get her. Like, Daphne's never had human food, never even come over to it, has no interest, does not care. She's so British and well-behaved. She's like, I look at you, I don't need, no, I don't need your food. She's like, I don't want your gnocchi, bro.

I don't want your salty. Actually, she would love a tin fish. She would love a tin fish. And that's called a call back, motherfuckers. Never doubt us. That would pique her interest. Thank you guys so much for giggling with us this week. Definitely listen to Amy Poehler's interview with us.

Subscribe to our YouTube for Hannah Page Try New Things. Episode's out on Monday. And we love you so much. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Hey everyone, it's Jenna Bush Hager from Today with Jenna and Friends, reminding you to check out my podcast, Open Book with Jenna. In this week's episode, I sit down with Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo from the Giggly Squad podcast to discuss friendships in their new book, How to Giggle, a guide to taking life less seriously. You can listen to the full conversation now by searching Open Book with Jenna, wherever you get your podcasts.

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