Giggling about Fallon, nail biters, and local gossip
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my going late night gigglers? We're out in these streets. What are you texting? I'm getting my notes. Oh. Sorry. I don't know why I did that so meanly. You said you had an anecdote? An anticdote, you said? I have a small little anecdote to tell the gigglers. This morning, I was in a bagel mood. Mm-hmm.

A couple years ago, I heard Michael B. Jordan on a podcast or in an interview, and they were like, what's your bagel order? And I never forgot it, and I get it all the time. And your life changed forever. My life changed forever. I get...

Well, I don't know what kind of bagel he got. I think he actually did cinnamon raisin, but whatever. I do plain. I do plain bagel with cream cheese and jelly and bacon. Oh, wow. It's so good. You're a little freak. It's like sweet and savory. I love that. Well, I love jelly. Yeah. Anything with jelly, I love it. Do you like jam? Yeah. Yeah.

Are you sure? It's like the same thing. I don't know. I feel like Jam's European. I feel like you're going to be like a 13-year-old boy and be like, what's the difference between jelly and jam? Let's fight about it for the next 30 minutes. You guys, we did Fallon. No. What a week. Well, the week hasn't even started. Our book is out in two days, and we have to wake up early tomorrow for Good Morning America. Yeah.

Sorry, I have such a phobia of waking up early. It's like my biggest nightmare. It's like we're really not waking up early. We're taking a nap and then waking up. 100%. Is how I look at it. And then going back to sleep right after.

But I want to walk the Gigglers through literally every moment of Fallon. Because it was so Giggly Squad coded. There were so many things that happened that I was like, this is so on brand. This is so Giggly. So first of all, I found an outfit. You found an outfit. Yep. Of course. We looked like we matched. We matched. We matched.

We get there. Wait, before we even get there, can I tell you that I had an email come across my desk that said, Hey Paige, would you like to have your car pick you up earlier? And would you like to get to set earlier so that you can watch Hannah's warm rehearsal?

You know, and like in a, from a corporate NBC email with the phrase like worm rehearsal, I was like, absolutely. Please change my car. I would love to be there to watch her worm rehearsal. Wait, so we have to backtrack actually, because it starts with a pre-interview. Yeah. When an important producer gets on. Which we've had a lot of pre-interviews because we've done a lot of like live morning shows. This particular pre-interview. I was nervous. You were nervous.

I was nervous. I could tell you were nervous and you are never nervous. So when I pick up that you're nervous, I get nervous. You want to carry me? Well, because they're like, first of all, do you guys have any fun stories you want to tell? When I say you're overthinking, we have a problem. We have a serious problem. And I'm like, okay, calm down. So when I did the stand up for Fallon, you send like the five minutes.

edits in a video or written form. They give you edits. You then have to practice it. Like it's a very detailed process. It takes like weeks. So she was on the phone. She was just like, what story do you guys want to tell? And I was like, it has to be the best story ever. Yeah. And then she was like, I was like, what if we do our psychic story? She's like, what is it? And I started saying it and I start like fucking it up because I was like nervous. Yeah. We were like doing it full out. Yeah. I was like, it's

You ought to be there. Like, it's funny. Yeah, like, it's funny. And then she sent, like, what she recommended we talk about. And then I was texting you the night before. I was like, are we sure this is what we want? Yeah, you were like, I feel like, what if we switch it to this? Or, like, I'm overthinking. I was like, do you like this? Do we joke about our cat? And you were like, calm the fuck down. We're going to be fine. And I was like, okay.

I literally was so fine leading up to it. And honestly, it's because I had no stress about my outfit. No, you were so calm. Eerily calm. Granted, we did take enough beta blockers that we could knock our head against the wall and feel nothing. I did. I took two. You took two? Yeah, I took two, which are 10 each. So I took 20. So I was in the green room and your stylist knocks on the door and just quietly hands me a blue pill. Pink. Pink, sorry. We're not taking Viagra. We're doing balance.

I mean, come on. I'm kinky, but I'm not that crazy. One episode, we just both take Viagra, see what happens. Wait, it is funny that like in different situations, I've just handed random people a pill and been like, can you give this to Hannah? With no thought of like...

And I could be giving you anything. And that's showbiz. That's showbiz. I'm like, hey, can you knock on Hannah's dressing room? Tell her to pop one of these this time. You fully turned your stylist into a drug mule in NBC. Well, because I know the timing of when we need to take them. You know, I actually brought mine. But I felt like it was better that we'd be more connected if I had yours. So I knock on Paige's door and I go, you want to practice? And she's like, whatever. Like, I'm good. And

And I was like, okay, well, I need to practice. I want to make sure we're on the same page with our answers. And we were really nervous. But then we get an email also saying, do you guys want to play charades with Patrick Schwarzenegger and Jon Hamm? Now, Jon Hamm knows who you are. Okay.

Let's backtrack. I kept seeing like all these messages and like comments being like, I wonder Paige and Jon Hamm talked about Bravo. Jon Hamm and I are old friends. Go way back. We go so way back. We go way back to... Mad Men. We go way back to the vanity. Paige was an assistant at Mad Men.

I would have crushed that role. You would have. No, we saw him at Vanity Fair party. We met him at Vanity Fair. And so we like got our Bravo gossip out then. So then seeing him at Jimmy Fallon, it was more like, oh my God, how are you? How are you? How have you been? How are the kids? How have you been, John? I actually did watch his new show that he was there promoting. It's so good. That's very exciting. It was really good. It was interesting. He was talking about how he hasn't,

He's doing SNL this weekend. Yeah. Or he did. Yeah, he did it. He did it. And he said how he hadn't done SNL for 15 years. Oh, wow. And like, it's interesting just the career. Maybe there was a reason, but like- Wait, that doesn't seem- It's just the career of actors. Like you have to get like a certain role that you're promoting in a certain way to like have that kind of press tour. Oh, I need to watch him on SNL. Because he is funny naturally. He's a goofball. He's a performer. Yeah, he's goofy.

And then Patrick comes up to us. Now, let me just say, I think I was chill around him. Yeah. Because I didn't see White Lotus. Okay. So I was, he reminded me of my brother, like same age. Yeah. So cute. And I was like, hi. Yeah. He was such a, like, boy. You were like, I loved your work. Yeah. I was like...

Obsessed with you and White Lotus. You're phenomenal. You're phenomenal. This outfit is giving, it's giving trendy. Yes. It's giving nuances. Yes. And we were like, is this your first time? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, us too. We're so similar. And then we were like, we're playing charades. Yeah.

And we looked at him. We're like, I don't know about you, but we're not fucking around tonight. And he kind of looked at us like, okay, calm down. And we're like, look. We were like, we're really competitive. Not to be like Eminem, but we got one shot to not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime. And then John said to us, John Hamm. Johnny boy. John said, just to let you know, Jimmy Fallon is very competitive. Like he likes to win these games. And so then in my head, I was like,

going on national television, playing shirts. Oh, this is what my dad said to me after he goes, Pedro was just like, it was so good because you want to know what you're a gamer. Yeah.

I was like, am I a dad? We're a baller. They're Aristotle. You grew up gaming, okay? Every year at Thanksgiving, we play Family Feud in the backyard. You're a gamer. You might not know that, but you grew up a gamer, so you're competitive. We got less nervous because it stopped being like, oh my God, we're on Jimmy Fallon. We were just like, we have to win this game of charades. I literally felt like I was on game night with my friends. But then they were like, okay, Hannah, you and Paige count as one person. And I'm like, okay, so women count as half as people. Cool, I agree.

They didn't get that joke. They didn't get that joke. They didn't play that joke. No laugh. No laugh. I said, in this political climate, women don't count as one person? Okay. Okay. Here's another thing. Another whole person. When you're filming the show, everyone's mics are on. Yes. Everyone's mics are open. Yes. So when you said that joke and I laughed. He was, I talked over him a little. Got it. Sorry. So we kind of. Like a fuzz on me and it's like ruining my whole day. Wait. I hate when that happens.

Okay, keep going. Did you get it? I think so. Because I'm going to be stressed. No, so he was like introducing the show and then I tried to sneak in my little one-liner. Didn't hit, but it's fine because later on I complimented Patrick's bell bottoms. So I got like my little line in. But the funniest part is I realized I'm very competitive and I was going to win, but then I realized I actually don't know how to play charades. Yeah, I know.

That was the best part. We're literally going. I was like, let's fucking go. What's the rules? You were like, we were about to walk out. You're like, I don't really actually know your rates. I'm like, you'll catch on. I didn't have a childhood. And then the woman started explaining it. I swear to God. You got more confused. I swear to God. It was like one of those memes where everything started. And you were nodding. And I was like, OK, at least she knows what's

going on. Because she was like, and the first one, and then the second one, and I lost it. And I can't look at that important producer and be like, can you start over? Yeah, you're like, sorry, what's the rules again? You won it for Bye Bye Bye and Kung Fu Panda. You've never once seen Kung Fu Panda. I've never seen Kung Fu Panda in my life. Something came over me, and...

it was like our moment. The words just came out of my mouth. I got like summoned by something. And then the lasso thing, when I first saw Ted Lasso, I said, oh no, because I was like, this is a hard one. What are we going to do? And then obviously at the exact same time, me and you start doing a like sexy lasso. We're just like...

We've been cowgirls. And then, when in the time- We're adaptable. We are. If anything, we're adaptable. We're malleable. We deal with adversity. Put us in any situation. But,

Because I was like a little too calm around Patrick. Yeah. When we finally win the game, I go over to him and he goes up for a high five and I go, get in here. And I give him like a bear hug. And it's very obvious he started with a high five. And I was like, no, no, no. And I could have picked him up in that moment. You're like, we're family now. Then he's commenting on my Instagram being like, let's play charades in LA. No, because we were...

weirdly good. We were all very in tune with each other. There was a magical chemistry. We're forever connected. Yeah. I think he is also low-key very funny too. Like his bit on the show, like making the protein shake, like that was funny. Well, him saying that, I didn't know that with White Lotus it was like a

a reality TV show where you can't tell people what happened. Yeah. Like Mike White is like, you cannot tell anyone who died. Did you watch his interview? Yeah. His, his fiance was like, who'd you, did you make out with anyone? Yeah. And he was like, I can't tell you. And she's like, are you sure who died? And he's like, I can't tell you anything. And she's like, you can't tell me who you hooked up with. And he's like, no. And then it aired and she's like, your brother? Yeah.

I didn't see it yet. That must be so funny. I didn't see it yet. To like watch. But this is his first like breakout role. Yeah. No, we're very proud of him. We're very proud of our little Patty boy. We're big fans of him. And John's sick of us, seeing us everywhere. Yep. He keeps running into us. And Jimmy Fallon, I'm obsessed with him. Okay. So Jimmy will typically like come back and say hi to everyone for like a second before the show. But...

he knew that you guys went to the same college and he was like extra excited to talk to us. Yeah. Um, he's like a perfect example of when people are like, Oh, don't meet your heroes. He's a perfect example of like, he was exactly what you would expect and what you like want him to be and, and, and better. I have to say there's nothing like riffing with a

comedic celebrity you look up to. Yeah. It's actually my like everything. Yeah. Like I asked him and he's like I was born in Brooklyn. Yeah. And he was like oh yeah and I go well pizza and he starts going yeah pizza. You guys went for five minutes. And we start just raving about acting like we're Italians. The amount of unsolicited dancing that goes on on that show. He loves dancing. That I wanted no part. I mean I couldn't have stood there more.

You were like... Page-coded. I was like, oh my God, I can't. I looked at you, I said, bitch, don't embarrass me. Pretend you're excited to dance right now. I'm like, I can't dance. I'll lose my mind. Jimmy loves music, loves dancing. Not to defend myself, because I haven't been looking at any comments, but the worm video has been going around. No, your worm was phenomenal. Do you think that that was your...

Like the worm is now officially retired. So I just want to say they brought it up to me. They said, Hannah, do you want to do the worm? And I said, I thought you guys would never ask. Obviously, I want to do the worm. They were like, do you want to retire the worm? And I was like, honestly, maybe like my knees are hurting. My lower back hurts. And then I got off the call and I was like, that's my baby.

I can't say it's over and then like lie to the people. Right. Because I know it takes one girl. Oh, so it's not over. It takes one girl looking in the crowd going, Hannah, do the worm. Yeah. And I'm a people pleaser. And I said, you know what? I'm doing it. So no, the worm is not retired. Oh, okay. I mean, maybe it'll evolve. Maybe.

But I think, am I like a warm comedian now? I just think like if you were to retire it, what a place to retire at. True, true. But then we, when I was walking on the stage, you have to like step up. And Jimmy like put his hand out. And at first I went to like shake his hand, but then I realized like, oh, maybe he's like lifting me up.

And we had this very awkward hand moment. And I thought he wasn't going to bring it up. But then he immediately was like, what the fuck was that? He's like, are you okay? I was like, no, I'm not okay. And we just rolled with it. My question is, do you think our psychic from Salem saw that episode? I think that she...

We love her. Love. We're obsessed with her. And I think she realizes that we've been able to monetize her work. And that's what she wanted for us. And one thing she did say about us is that our careers will flourish, but we are very mentally ill. Yeah. I'm drinking a fruit punch right now. Things have gone awry. We haven't even started our press week for the book and we're exhausted.

No, I'm exhausted. I was also in California for two days, which is not recommended. No, Friday? Not even for Coachella. No. Well, I would never. Have you been looking at Coachella content?

Anyone who has FOMO, like who isn't at Coachella, who's having FOMO, I don't relate to you in any capacity whatsoever. I don't relate to you. Mind you, the people there, I don't relate to them either. But like, I feel like in an even bigger capacity. But there's nothing about Coachella. There's not one single thing that I would be like,

That seems nice. You also see like A-list celebrities jammed like sardines trying to watch something. And I'm like, if they're having that experience, imagine what a regular human's going through right now. No. No. And I just, like, I think Lady Gaga gave a great performance. Like, I was looking at videos from that and it looked cool. But like...

I'll catch her when she's in New York. I'll catch her on the flip side. Yeah, I'll catch her when she's at a venue. There's something about being in a place where I can't find the bathroom, don't know where water is, don't know where food is, don't know where my friends are, don't know where my phone is, that that's my worst nightmare. Here's the other thing. But these festivals, like...

- If I can't leave, like if I can't be like, okay, I'm calling an Uber and it'd be there in like a reasonable amount of minutes and I get the fuck out of there, I'm not going. - And then people are like, it's fine, you're on drugs. And I go, an even bigger reason why I need to be able to call an Uber. - And then I wasn't, I didn't know that people like legit camp.

Oh, I didn't know that. So I'm on TikTok where it's like, it's like not influencers. It's like real people going to Coachella to like enjoy like what the actual festival is and they're camping. And I'm so like...

But how are you locking it? What are you leaving in there? You're trusting all these people. It's just, I can't. This is actually what healthy people do. I feel like it's a sense of community. I don't want it. That we don't understand. I don't need it. We have Giggly Squad. We don't need anything else. Yeah, I don't need it. We have the Gigglers. Why would we need to go dehydrated and blackout on an island? And the outfits, I'm just like, I don't... Desert. Desert.

I wouldn't even know what to bring. So everyone's just wearing a really thick belt or two, putting it on their pussy. Everyone's wearing 8,000 belts, calling it a skirt, putting cowboy boots on, and then like a top. A halter. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, cool. Yeah, if you like it, I love it. But they're not outfits. It's like, okay. And then some people, I can tell, are fucking sweating. Yeah. Like they're committing to like a fur or something. No.

Not worth it. If I'd need my Stanley, I'd need so many things to even make it to like 2 p.m. Like I need my Stanley. You know, like anything. Also, I make fun of you for not like being that into music, but let's be honest, we're similar. Me and you like rap and hip hop and Top 40. Yeah, we love the Top 40. I looked at the Coachella lineup. I know three people. Yeah, we love the Top Jam. I know.

I'm not going to Coachella to see Lady Gaga for 30 minutes. You know what I mean? No. Like, and yeah, it's nice to see women in the art, which I support. Yeah, I support her. But like, again, you're like...

I don't know. Also strangers. And I feel like Gen Z just learned about Lady Gaga. Like, I don't... Oh, yeah. They're excited. It's a new thing for them. Yeah. Yeah, Alex Earl was talking about how she was dancing and some girl behind... Woman behind her was like, there's other people here. Like, people are getting into altercations. I'll go on the subway if I want that to happen to me. And I think I'm past the age where, like, I'm sharing...

I was just going to say I'm past the age where I'm sharing a house with people. But truly, like I'm past the age. You heard it here first. I'm past the age. I can't do it. I keep getting TikToks of like girls getting ready together in the morning and I'm just like, you just met them though. They're going to steal your shit. I'm literally watching Coachella TikTok as a mom. I'm like, are you locking any of that up?

Where's my Charlotte Tilbury blush? I'm like, do you have a buddy? Because... No, I can't do it. I am starting to be like, are you guys hydrating though? Yeah. Yeah, make sure you're drinking water. This segment is sponsored by Banana Republic and Acast Creative. We are so excited to revamp our spring wardrobe. Nothing I love more than...

Like doing my spring wardrobe. But Banana Republic is like that girl right now. Very cool. Very fun. Very chic. But it's classy. It's classy. We both wore Banana Republic today. But we definitely did not talk to each other about the vibe. We're not going in the same place. We're not going to the same event right now. No. What are you wearing from Banana Republic? Okay, this is...

I love like an off-white like ivory little summer dress. So this is adorable and it has like ruching and it's just like cute for so many different events. I like buying things that I immediately in my head I'm like okay I could wear this three different places. And you could dress it up or down. And what are you wearing Hannah? I always

You always need a nice, crisp, white button-down. You wear a lot of white button-ups. But I have these gorgeous blue jeans. And I love the cut. You know, I'm very picky with my jeans. I know. And also because I have a big butt, it's hard to find a jean that fits. But not to brag. No, they look amazing on you. Oh, my God. Wait. No, those are really, like, look so good on you. Okay. Okay.

It's so high quality, the fabric. The jeans are so soft. It's April. So obviously I'm thinking about my summertime Italy trip with my family. Yes. And I start my outfits. Let's be honest. You've been talking about since the fall. Since I was on the plane home last year, I was like, what are my outfits for next summer? I can see you wearing this. And I've already started like mentally preparing, mentally prepping. And like this dress.

she's daytime shopping but maybe she's nighttime dinnering so you need things that are flexible that you could pick up and wear multiple times and i am going to be in the hamptons this summer so the linen collection is so chic rich it's so hannah you know what else banana republic is really good at if you have a special occasion like okay i have to go to something for my high school and i have to go to a luncheon i need like a nice dress like

Something that says I'm proper, but also fashionable. Would you ever wear that to a bridal shower? No, it's white. Sorry, just stirring some drama. If I hated her. You'd be like, it's eggshell. It's not white. It's off white. Sorry, you don't understand hues.

The evening edit they have. And first of all, let me just say, I love an edit because I want websites to tell me what I want. Yeah. You know, like I know the event. You tell me. You don't make me scroll through hundreds of pages. So the evening edit is so good because I am invited to a wedding or two this summer and I want to look at what's good for nighttime events. Yeah. And I love scrolling through an edit. Thank you for listening to this special segment brought to you by ACAST Creative and Banana Republic.

For effortless wardrobe pieces for life on the go, shop new arrivals from Banana Republic. I am in the midst of my best friend from high school getting married, and I'm actually going to her bachelorette party in a couple weeks.

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Your well-being is worth it. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Giggly Squad to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Giggly Squad. Gigglers, you know I've been on a hair journey this year and I've had a breakthrough. Not to be dramatic, but this is the shiniest my hair has ever looked and it's because of Tresemme's new LaMeller Gloss Collection. I mean, it's giving gloss, it's giving gorgeous, and it's honestly way too good to gatekeep.

So listen up. I got to be in my first ever TV commercial, and when they styled my hair on set, I was obsessed with the gloss oil. Just a couple pumps, and it was like magic. And Gigglers, we've got you too, because Tresemme partnered with us to bring you 1-800-GLOSS,

a special bonus episode of Giggly Squad, where Hannah and I give advice on all things hair and giving gloss. Tune into 1-800-GLOSS wherever you listen to Giggly Squad and pick up Tresemme's LaMeller Gloss Collection today. We want to see all the gigglers giving gloss this spring.

I'm Josie Santee, health coach, wellness editor, and host of the Every Girl podcast, where we cut through the noise with realistic, expert-backed advice to help you thrive in every category of life while still loving the person that you already are. And part of loving yourself is being really authentic to you, including the clothes you wear.

In partnership with Nordstrom, we're helping you update your spring wardrobe so your style is fit for your best self. Nordstrom brings you the season's most wanted brands like Skims, Mango, Free People, and Princess Polly, all under $100. From trending sneakers to beauty must-haves, we've curated the styles that you'll wear on repeat this spring. Free shipping, free returns, and in-store pickup make it easier than ever. Show

Shop now in stores and at Nordstrom.com. Okay, I came across this Instagram of a very famous person who I like love and I don't know why I've just like never looked at her Instagram page in the way that I should have. Camila Cabello.

Oh. Have you ever looked at her Instagram, just like the aesthetic that she gives? Wait, this is the singer. Yes. Oh, yeah. She goes off. Okay. Like, she's in the aesthetic. Do me a favor. Go on your phone right now. Go on Instagram. Well, is she still blonde? I feel like once she went... Oh, never mind. Go to her Instagram right now. Okay. I love when you tell me what to do. Tell me. This is not...

An exact like replica of if you and I had a baby.

Oh my God. Like, is that not our child? Wait, it is. Why did we birth Camila Cabello? And like, obviously she'd be a phenomenal singer. She gets that from you. You know, she loves a mini skirt. She gets that from me. She loves wearing it with a tie. She gets that from you. Also petite, but big butt. She's tiny, but she's quirky. Pulls out of a bang, but is also outgoing. Yeah. Kind of strangers. Yeah.

But also looks like she's an introvert extrovert. Yeah. Wait, that's so funny. I just feel like she's our love child. I see that. I see that. Right? I love that. Yeah. Our daughter. I just thought I needed to tell you that.

Wait, one other thing about Fallon. When you got home that night, did you watch it like on TV? It was funny because I got home and I laid down and I ordered Chinese food and I was just eating Chinese food in silence. And Des was looking at me and he's like, back in my day when I used to do like a big performance, we used to been out partying. I would have been with the celebs on the show. We would have been at a club right now. Look at you. Look at you. I said, I'm

A tired married woman. No, after my dad was like, come on, let's go out to dinner. I was like, come on, do we have to? I was like, Paige is probably with her family. But I was like, I'm lying down. My thing is like, I put 110% into my art. No, that's the thing. Okay, the next day, I was so exhausted. But I was like, why am I so tired? Because we put it all. It's the adrenaline. And like being that like pep.

and on is actually so mentally draining it's mentally draining to know like we knew so many eyes were gonna watch it yeah and honestly like the day before I started to like lose my appetite a little that's when I know I'm nervous yeah I never lose my appetite I never do but yeah I just um laid down after and that's my life like yeah I enjoy the highs and then I want to enjoy the lows I also realize why you love your Stanley so much why because it makes you feel tiny because it's so big

It does make me feel strong. Here's another thing I just want to say. We're on morning TV all week. Late night was perfect for us. Late night was more speed. That was where we thrived. Like, I actually get more nervous for morning TV because I'm like, okay. I can't form a sentence. Can't say anything.

A bad word. I can't fully, I'm not fully awake till 5 p.m. And then I'll eat a big meal and then get sleepy again. And then I'm like fully awake at nine. No, I actually loved the work day in which Jimmy Fallon was. It was like you got there at like three. No, what time we get there? We got there at like four. Little rehearsal, whatever. We're on at like five. You're done by six. See ya. Peace out. See ya.

And we did a podcast with Chelsea Handler earlier. Oh, yeah, we did earlier in the day. No, we're working with women. Chelsea Handler is like my, I'm like obsessed with her in a creepy way. Did it come off, did I come off creepy? No. Okay, good. It did come off though that you really admire her. I was like. So in a very specific way.

But this is my question. You know who you want to give people their flowers, but then you give them their flowers too much and they don't see you. They see you as like a fan. Yeah. You're like, I'm not trying to be inauthentic. I truly do think like X, Y, and Z about you. But I think that, and she's also like really nice to me. Yeah. She's really nice. She's really nice.

But like as in she's now at the point of our relationship where she's shitting on me, which is like that was my goal. Yeah. Like for Chelsea Hammer to roast me. Not that I'm surprised she's as nice as she is, but I am surprised for like how big, how famous she is, how big she is, how.

like truly normal she is. Yeah. Like when we were talking to her like it really was just like they're just really welcoming like her generation they're very like this is fun what are the kids up to? What are the kids I hope you guys make it. I hope you guys make it. I'm gonna leave but you guys got it. Well Chelsea's books were like the only books I read. Yeah. So that's why when they asked us to write a book I was like I want to make it like me giggling reading Chelsea Handler that's what I want the gigglers to feel. No I remember when

that show came on E. Oh my God. When Chelsea Lately was on, like, first premiered on E, it was like...

No one. Religion. Yeah. And then when she would just like shit on the guests, it was so funny. It was so good. And we got her to give a quote in the back of our book saying, I think I met them once, Chelsea Handler. So you guys, live your, chase your dreams. Live your life. Live your life, chase your dreams. Live your truth. Live your truth. And live in your truth. No, we've had a great week. Mental health moment. Okay. Have you heard of the burnt toast theory? The burnt toast theory. The burnt toast theory. It's on TikTok. TikTok.

Ooh, I like how you're trying to figure it out. I feel like I have heard of it, but I don't know what it is. It's not the let them theory. Okay. The burnt toast theory is like when something inconvenient happens in your life, like you burn your toast and you're like, fuck, and then you have to like,

Throw it out. Yeah, and you're so annoyed by it or little things like, yeah, you break something, you drop something or you forget something. The burnt toast theory is that that happened to you for a reason because the universe needed you to like not move forward in that moment. Like this is like a little aggressive, but like maybe it's protecting you from like getting hit by a car.

Got it. That's like an extreme example, but like there's other examples, but basically how the overall message is like when little bad, annoying things happen to you, trust that like the universe is actually guiding you. Actually, let the toes get burnt. Like when you're in a rush and like your dress gets caught on like the door handle and you're like today of all days. Yes. And how it's like, no, maybe this is your timing.

Okay, I like that. I like that. And I also learned that my cortisol levels are really high. Are you on cortisol, TikTok? Yeah. Okay, same. So apparently, I'm supposed to slow down with everything I do. Good luck. And I'm very quick. When I'm trying to make cereal, you'd think I was at a bar at closing time trying to rush and get everyone's order out. Here's how I know we work.

a lot and it's like when I say around other adults more adultier adults than me like okay and in May I'm gonna really take some time off and they laugh and say like yeah sure you are yeah it actually makes me feel like an adult I'm like oh they think I'm a workaholic in my lifetimes and I think this would be my persona

You went from people being like, Paige never works to like, Paige has a problem. Paige has a problem. We have to have an intervention. No, my parents are like, but are you stopping and enjoying? I'm like, who has the time to stop and enjoy? Nope, I stop and enjoy. This is a fucking vacation. Yeah, I fucking wish I could stop and enjoy. Let me ask you guys something. Are you stopping and enjoying? Good. Hope you are, because I'm certainly not. The problem is whenever I stop to try to process something, I get upset. No. No.

Last time I tried to stop, take January off, I got eviscerated. Everyone was like, get your ass back in the house, you literal whore. I was like, okay. Okay, sorry. Tried to have a nice time.

They're like, no, that's for men. Stopping and enjoying is for men. Get back to work, bitch. Jesus. No, but you have been... This is the thing. You like glam, and that's why I think you're kind of thriving right now. Here's the thing. I'm obsessed with glam. So, no, actually, I had, like, a sad thought the other day because, like... This is...

Emotional rollercoaster. I had a sad thought the other day because I was like looking around at my glam team and I was like, oh my God, like these are my best friends. Like truly these have become like my best friends. And then I had a thought where I was like, well, I pay them to be here. Do they feel bad about me?

Okay, I was thinking about it. Obviously, if I get married and have a bachelorette party, Taylor's coming to my bachelorette party. Not as my makeup artist, but as my friend. But if she happens to do your makeup. But if she brings her makeup, I'm not going to say no to it. But I'm like, oh.

Oh, but also like I pay her, but like, I think she really does like me. We did have a point where a couple of weeks ago, someone was gifted our book to like do a review and they were like telling us all these compliments and they were like, we love the book. And for a second I was like, wait, this is huge. Cause no one besides our family or people we pay have read the book and told us what they really think. So it was like a beautiful moment. Absolutely.

But this is the thing. You've been getting glam like literally every day and you're really, you love it. I love it. There's an emotional toll to glam. Yeah. Cause like, it's not like, like when I was playing sports, you just show up and try to perform. Yeah.

Glam means you need to hope that your swollen face looks good or like everyone's disappointed. More often than not, I'm in glam longer than whatever I'm getting ready for. There are rare cases where I've gone to the actual...

thing and it's taken longer than glam you take photos or you do like a quick TikTok actually someone came in I was doing glam and someone was like oh you don't play music during glam and I was like oh my god

No, I never play music during glam because we're gossiping. I'm chatting. Also, during glam, it's like my one time to have silence. Yeah. When we're not chatting. Like, I don't need... The parties will start. Yeah. But glam is like... I've heard there are some celebrities that meditate during glam. I've heard.

I heard there's some celebs that like fully sleep during glam. Me and Taylor could never. No. We could literally never. No. I also like hearing them gossip. Yeah. Like, because I like feeling, I like local gossip that I'm not involved in. Local gossip? Local gossip.

that you're adjacent to i'm adjacent so like i know the names but like they know i can't tell anyone but like yeah and makeup artists here's the other wait the best here's the other thing about working so much when there is local gossip that you're adjacent to people are more apt to tell you because like i've had so many people be like don't tell anyone and then be like who are you gonna tell

And I have become that friend where it's like, who is Paige even going to tell? Paige is locked up working. She doesn't talk to anyone. She's not going to tell anyone. Let's spill our guts to her. Oh, my God. I have a crazy story. What? Speaking of local gossip. Yeah. So I had to, next day out of Jimmy Fallon, I had to get on a, wake up at 5 a.m., fly to San Francisco. Mm-hmm.

Do a casino show. Okay. Next morning, jump on a flight at like 8 a.m. You're a workaholic. I get on the flight and my seat, there's a woman and then there's my seat. And in my seat is like her bag and her hat. Okay. And I was like, must be like some confusion. I was like, hey, sorry. Like that's where I'm sitting. She looks up and I can immediately tell like her eyes are kind of off. Yeah. And she goes, I know who you are.

And starts pointing at me and I go, what's happening? You're like, you're drunk. And I'm telling you, this is 8 a.m. So she's blackout. Blackout. And like pointing at me and like- Like how old? Like 47, she told me. So I'm immediately like-

This is the worst day of my life. Like, this is actually my nightmare. This happens to you a lot more than the average person. You get sat next to a crazy a lot more than the average person. So I sit down and she's having, like, the time of her life. Like, she's putting her hat on me. She's asking me for, like, summer house tea. You're her cat. She's, like, punching me, like, joking. And at first I was like...

I was like, is she going to get kicked off the flight? Like, this is bad. She's like, I'm holding her drink because she keeps almost knocking over. And I'm like, I can't have her knock her drink on my, I can't do that. But then she starts talking about like her ex-husband who she hates. Yeah. And I was at first annoyed. And then I was like, why do you hate him? This is why.

I feel bad for you and then I don't. If we're going to be here for an hour and a half, I'm going to make the most of it. I said, what did he do to you? You're like, look, I need to know everything there is to know about Alan. What did he do to you? When I tell you 20 minutes in, she's crying. I'm holding her hand. I'm saying, you're so fucking strong. I said, fuck that dude. I fucking hate him. He doesn't fucking deserve you. People are looking over. Me and her are the two drunk ones now. We're together. We're together.

No. Then she does the showing me everything in her camera roll. Yeah, every photo she's ever taken. So she's showing me her kids. Her kids' kids. Her kids' kids. Then she was renovating her kitchen. And I was thinking of renovating my kitchen. I was like, how did you choose that tile? Go back to that one. Go back to that one. I said, how did you choose that tile? And she was getting into it. But then she recently got married. You're like, was that laminate? What?

But then she keeps forgetting that she's telling me stuff. Of course. So we went through a couple stories multiple times. One of the most aggravating things when dealing with a drunk person is that they already told you that information. So she's like, can I show you my kids? And I was like, babe, you just did. But then she also was scared of flying. Like, she never flies. Yeah. And she was like, you must be used to this stuff because you guys fly all the time. I can't wait for you to play a drunk person in a movie because it's going to be so fucking funny because you're so good at it. Literally.

She goes, you fight all the time. I never fight. So, like, you know what you're doing, but I don't. And then I could see her, like, breathing really heavy. And suddenly I'm, like, fully committed. I was like, breathe in, breathe out. Like, we're doing meditate. We're meditating. No, we should have just given her a beta. I should have. She's putting her hat on me. It got crazy. And then she's like, can I have your number? You know, I was like, yeah, you're not going to remember that. Did you get it? Excuse me.

I've been in, okay, wait, I've been in so many situations where I'm like, I can't get out of this and they're asking for my number and you just give it. Do you know that Paris Hilton, like she said, when she did that documentary, what was it? I like,

I forgot. Oh, yeah. But one of the things she said was that she has two phones for that exact reason because she's so nice. She never wanted to be like mean to someone and be like, oh, no, this is like the wrong number. So she has a phone where she sends all those people that number. We're in the middle of the flight. I'm going to start giving people your number. I give her my number. And then she goes, okay, for all my best friends, I put an emoji next to their name. And she goes, I love you.

And I said, I love you too. And she goes, no, you're a good person. And I said, I know. And she's like, I'm going to put an emoji for you. And she picked a dolphin and then a green emoji. And I was like, interesting. And she's like, this is you. She texts me, but it doesn't go through. And I'm like, we're in the air. Like, it doesn't go through.

Where are you at this point? Like, you gotta be over Chicago at this point. Well, we were going just from Sacramento to L.A. Oh, oh. It's like 45 minutes. This is in, like, New York City. Yeah. And then she's like, Hannah, I want to go to your show tonight. And I was like, you're not going to make it to the show, babe. And she's like, no, I want to. And then...

You know I'm obsessed with this lady. And then she doesn't fly a lot, so we park the plane, and she's like, what do we do? And I was like, wait for the person in front. Go, go, go. And then- You're like, hurry up. Get this funny device underneath your seat. Jump! Run to the back of the plane and ask, any parachutes? So you're saying aliens.

But she was like honestly so fun that by the end I was like, yeah, I fuck with you. So then we're like literally skipping down like going out. And she looks at me and I say, okay, like I have to, I have to leave. This went to the curb of the air. Right when we get off the plane, I go, I have to leave. And she looks at me and she suddenly gets mad. Yeah. And she goes, I'm never going to see you again, am I?

And I was like, God willing. I go, maybe. I don't know. And she's like, I'm not going to see you again anymore. And I was like, bam. Like, I love you. I love you. I love you. And I like hug her. And then I go, I have to leave. Like, I have to go pee. And she goes, so do I. So I get her to the bathroom. And then I was like, I have to go. So I left. And I hope she's doing well. What was her name?

It's not important. I think it was Caitlyn. Okay. I think it was Caitlyn, but like, I hope she had a great weekend. I hope she had a great time. I hope she got, was she flying home or flying to somewhere? She was flying to LA to like kind of party. She basically, not to give all her life story, but she was a single mom and raised two boys and the ex was abusive and that's why she's really strong and she did it

She raised the kids for 18 years and they finally are in college and now she's finally like empty nest and she's living for herself now.

Wait, I'm so excited for her. I know, so am I. She's a giggler. She's a giggler. She, yeah, she also was like, wait, you don't fly private? She goes, she's like, also called Duport. Yeah, she goes, I thought you guys had a big tour. for a workaholic. Seems like you're really slumming it here on Delta. She literally was like, and she was like, where's Paige? And I was like, Paige is at home. You're like, on a private plane somewhere. Not dealing with this. Paige flies private, I don't. I try to save money. Um,

So anyway, that was my flying experience. Wait, I'm obsessed. But everyone's been caught, you know, where you're like, I can't get out of here. So life is about perspective. That was my burnt toast theory. It happened for a reason. Yeah, that's so true. That happens to you a lot, though. A little too much. Yeah. A little too much.

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Equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only. Then full price plans options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. There are some businesses that I think about that just sell so much product. Like Aloe, Allbirds, Skims. And all of those have the same thing in common. And it's the business behind the business. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet.

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Okay. He's British. Yeah. And he's like trying to speak American. He speaks our face. I'm obsessed with him. To each his own. Truly though, like once it hits May, I'm absolutely fucking off. Like I'm- May, June. Oh no. May, I might have some stuff, but June, July, August, I'm off. Okay. I'm going to start the birth control literally now.

Like April 29th, so I can freeze my eggs right in the beginning of May. You have to be relaxed. I know. Right? Well, I think that's why I stopped getting my period in January, because I was so fucking stressed out. January, February, March, April. 2012, 2013, 2014. No, the things men can do to you, you're just like, eh, now I don't have my period. Now I'm not a woman anymore. I hope you're fucking happy.

So I have to... No, and I really didn't want to have to do the birth control, but I waited as long as I could to see if I could get it back. Also, apparently birth control can help with UTIs. Okay. Like helping with your... I don't know. I might be making that up. I've ordered literally everything. The Gigglers have been messaging me for 17 days about... Trying to figure out... Our vaginas. Yeah. The Gigglers are our doctors. Well, I have to call the doctor back. I...

She's a giggler? No, well, it was a man. Oh, no! I don't know his sexual orientation, but I'm going to lean toward homosexual. Well, he better be. So I'm on the phone with the doctor, and I'm like, hey, I had a UTI last week. They gave me pills. It came back, like, stronger than ever. She gave me...

different pills and I still just like don't feel completely right with a vengeance full vengeance and I still don't feel completely right and he was like okay I would hate to have to give you a third antibiotic but if by tomorrow the pills really haven't kicked in come back in we'll do another test we'll see what's going on blah blah blah and I was like okay like I just sounded defeated on the phone and then he was like and I just want to let you know I am a giggler I was

If you are in the healthcare medical field, start out with that. Start out with that you're a giggler because then let's get into some local gossip. Meaning my specific vagina. Okay? I wouldn't have used so many like...

Oh, and thank you so much. And I will call. Like, you know, I would have been like, okay, it's burning. It's really bad. I love how people at the end say they're gigglers. Like I had went to Pilates class last week and I,

She was such a cool instructor and I was, you know, being friendly. And at the very end, she's like, by the way, I'm a giggler. I'm like, why didn't you fucking tell me? Because then we could have been riffing. I was being polite and like kind of shy. Back to Jimmy Fallon, we didn't talk about like the green room and like back to...

Oh, yeah. How Giggly Squad coded it was. Yeah. Now, mind you, Jon Hamm and Patrick Schwarzenegger are there. Like, two iconic people. Yes. At this time. And in their field and in their industry. Yep. Their hair and makeup wanted nothing to do with them. They were gigglers. Well, men don't need hair and makeup. And the girls...

They came to us. Yeah. Like, I just loved that part. No, their publicist came to us too. And also a woman that was there. We were hanging. Was a giggler. I did get a spray tan once. Like, I went into a place. Yeah. And like mid spray tan, she was like in between my butthole. And she was like, by the way, like, I really like your show. She was like, can you turn your knee? Actually, that's like when your vag opens up. She's like, actually, I am a giggler.

Oh, God. I forget who told me. Was it Josephine? It was someone who was surprised that I don't bite my nails. Josephine. It was Josephine. Which...

Loki is so insulting and Loki is so page-coded of her to say. Every now and then, she literally reads me to filth. Josephine is Paige's assistant and head producer. Let me give you the lore on Josephine. Josephine was my very first assistant years ago. She was my assistant for less than a year. She ended up getting a job. You're very loyal like that. You like people from day one. Day one. Yeah. Day one only. Yeah. She was my first assistant ever.

And she left me within like seven or eight months of working for me because she got like her dream job. Oh, and she got a real job. Yeah, at Condé Nast. And I was like, go and flourish and live your truth. She bounced around to a couple of jobs. And then last year she messaged me and was like, I want to come back. And I actually was like, I could bring you on full time. Here's the thing about Josephine.

Are we doing hard work day to day? No. Does Josephine really need to use her brain at full capacity to do what we do? Also no. Josephine is there for full vibes. But is also Josephine Daphne's handler 24-7? Correct. Does Josephine know what's going on half the time? Josephine has the energy of cotton candy. She's light. She's happy. You're only around it when it's time to have fun.

here's the thing why I need her at my apartment every single day morning till night she changes my brain perspective wow if I was with someone who was too similar to me and like a little bit negative are you talking about me right now no no no that's why we work too because you're not negative you're not really pessimistic I can really get down you know like when me and Sierra are together longer than two days it's dark it's bad it's real bad I'm like and fuck

fuck them. And that's why the three of us, we keep it light. We keep it light. Josephine brings so much light and positivity to my life. It's perfect. But I love that I'm rubbing off on her a little bit. Because that's snarky. This is why it hurts because Josephine will never mean anything mean. Never. So she's literally compoing to me and she goes, your nails look so good, I would have thought that you were a nail biter. Yeah.

And I'm looking at her. She's looking at me. I'm looking at her and I go, that is so fucking valid because I actually so would look like I'm one of those people, but not to brag, like, well, actually I said, that's for,

Like my issues are so much deeper and more complicated than nail biting. Yeah. Nail biting is literally basic. Yeah. A basic thing. I don't nail bite. It's so funny because when she said that, I thought, oh my God, she gives exact nail biting energy and I've never thought that. I do look like that.

Like a nail where like you look at my nails and they're just like to the bottom. Like there's no nail left. No, I don't bite my nails, but I do other things that are way worse and harmful to myself. Right. But I self-sabotage in different ways. Sorry, I'm a creative. Yeah. Sorry, I'm a creative. So shout out to Josephine. Oh, yeah. I also I had a college memory I wanted to bring up. Oh.

I feel like you don't have memories from college. I don't have memories. I actually, no, I'm not going to lie. I was laying in bed the other night and I was trying to think of like something from my childhood and I was just like, I can't think of it. And then I was like, can I think of anything? Like, I truly can't remember a damn thing. Like, sometimes people, like, I saw this thing on TikTok and it was like, when's the last time you were really happy? It was like,

I was like, okay, that's too deep. And I know it's been a while. But then I was trying to think of things from my 20s. And I was like, and how did I feel then? I was like, I don't know. Like, I couldn't think of anything. It is crazy, though. You really do change. I know that people say they don't change. But like, I used to only wear gold jewelry. Now I only wear silver. Like, that's a huge change. Women can change. Men can't.

You're so right. Also, I feel like my style changes every year. Like I'll see stuff I wore the previous season and I'm like, I wouldn't be caught dead in that. Absolutely. So I'm evolving. But in college, I had a triggering memory. I was like talking to a hockey guy, which never went well.

And he was trying to be funny and called me a nickname. And it was like the worst nickname ever. I mean, I feel like you got bullied so much in college, but you didn't actually notice it until you were out of college. So we were freshmen, me and this guy. Yeah, they called me Big Thighs McGee. I'm like, what? This is so weird. That's mean. This is worse. This is worse. He calls me this name. And then all the hockey guys latch onto it. So whenever I walk in the bar, they would yell it. What was it? They called me Burn Dog.

Okay, they thought you were a lesbian. No, that's so bad. Burn dog. Burn dog. You want to know what? I'm not defending them. It does...

roll off the tongue like it's an easy burn dog like it's an easy thing to say and you know what it was fun but like I was at the height of like exploring my sexuality in college and it wasn't the tone I wanted to give like if my teammates called me burn dog I'd be like yes we're like we're friends but like for a hot guy to be like burn dog burn dog

Like, I could dry up hearing that. Do you know that I've never really, like, had a nickname? Well, whenever we play sports, I turn into a JV, angry JV coach, and I go, DeSorbo! Yeah, you do. DeSorbo, what are you doing? You're the only one that's ever called me by my last name because I've never played a sport. And then people call you P. Yeah, some people call me P. But that's, like, that's just my initial. Like, there's no, like...

Well, and then when you get drunk, people call you Pam. Yeah, but that hasn't happened in a while. Oh, is that not a thing anymore? Getting drunk? Not really. When is the last time I was drunk? When was the last time I was drunk? When is the last time you were drunk? I know the last time I was drunk, I think it was like New Year's Eve. Well, I actually know that for a fact because I died and had to get an IV. Yeah.

He just died, went to heaven, came back. Went to heaven, saw my grandma, came back. Said, I love you, Grammy. Said, hi to Hannah's dead grandpa. Did you tell my mister? Did you say Hannah doesn't shut up about you? Getting the pet psychic on the pod. Enough. Grace, you have literally one job to find the pet psychic. All I'm doing, Mae, is fucking off, freezing my eggs. And going to pet psychics. Yeah.

I wonder how Daphne feels about me freezing my eggs. That's one thing I want to ask the pets I get. Should we freeze Daphne's eggs? She doesn't have any. She's fixed. She's fixed. Yeah. How's she doing? I mean, she's gorgeous as ever, just like living her life. Wait, I'm obsessed with making people's animals into AI humans. Okay.

Okay, just so you guys can understand from my perspective, I woke up at 5 a.m. 6 a.m. in California. My phone is blowing up from page to Sorbo, and I said, something bad must have happened. Something bad must have happened. You said, everyone send pictures of your pets. She's obsessed with Chad GBT and AI. She thinks it's the greatest thing ever. She wants to replace all humans with it. No, I'm obsessed. We're going to put it in the newsletter, what Chad GBT said are...

human versions of our cats are. She sends me this beautiful girl and she goes, this is Daphne as a human. And I was like, it's 6 a.m. And then you go, send me a picture of Butter now. And I was like, okay, don't be so bossy. And then it looked exactly what we thought Butter would look like as a human. And I sent it in to AI and I said, this is my best friend's cat. She runs away a lot and she doesn't let anyone pet her. She's from Queens. Oh my God.

Do you feel closer to AI than most people? I do. Yeah. Like, I feel closer to AI than I think that you do. I talk to my job all day. I don't trust AI. It's like Bluetooth. I don't trust it. I don't like it. And it's not good at comedy, so it doesn't help me. How do you know it's not good at comedy? Because I said right ahead of Burner's next hour, and it didn't do a good job. Wait one sec.

To end the pod, in celebration of our book, I want us to read the back of the book. Oh, yeah, because no one's seen it. No one's seen it. And you guys are going to get it delivered on Tuesday. But we want it. The back is called The Blurb. We didn't know what that was. But we got some quotes. So if you guys want to know, the reviews are in and this is what people said. Do you want to start? I'll start. Okay.

Our first quote. This book feels like Hannah and Paige's friendship. Honest, hectic, and always hilarious. Said by Amy Poehler, actor and producer. Next. My sister isn't that funny. Gary DeSorbo, Paige's brother. This is going to be the greatest book ever. Instagram psychic. Daphne, Paige's cat. We have a lot of notes. The publishing company. So nice of them to add something.

I like them on Bravo, but I didn't know they have a podcast. Bravo fan. Can we hire HR? Grace, our CEO. No comment from Butter.

I wrote this book. Lenore Berner, Hannah's mom. I think I met them once. Chelsea Handler, comedian, TV host, and six-time New York bestselling author. Oh my God. Okay, Chelsea. Well, how to giggle. If you order it now, it will arrive ASAP. I've always wanted to say this. On stands now. On stands now. Wait, if we're in the airport, we might see the book. Oh yeah, in like a Hudson News? That'll be cool. Okay. Cool.

Cool. Thanks to look forward to. We love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling. Talk to you soon. Bye.

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