Giggling about how we really feel about psychics, cocaine, and tripping on ayahuasca
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, giggle-slicers? We have made it another week. It's really all you can ask for. Keep smiling. Keep shining. Wait, what's our film?

Oh no, don't make me think. Yeah. I mean, it's not from Bridesmaids, but yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything comes back to Bridesmaids. No, it really does. A lot of things that I say in my lifetime are like in normal conversation. I'm like, that's from a movie for sure. And I stole it and like took it as my own joke. And 90% it was Bridesmaids. Yeah. I do want to say there's a lot of change happening on Giggly Squad. First of all, Paige, you're a mom? Yeah.

Oh my god, it's so stressful. Okay. So I have one, two, three, four. I have like, yeah, four. I have four plants in my apartment. Why did I ever think I could get a dog or a cat? Because I can't. Okay, questions. Are they succulents or like basil? I have a palm tree. I have a lemon tree.

I have this huge like orchid that's like four orchids. Orchids are fucking, I feel like if I was a flower, I would be an orchid because they're a pain. They're beautiful and a pain in my fucking ass. They're so fickle and like you have, you can only water them with ice cubes. It's like, who the fuck do you think you are? Orchid? Ice cubes? Yes. Ice cubes.

They're like, I'm a cold hearted bitch. They're like, we don't do water from a vase. You'll water us with ice cubes.

It's like, first of all, fuck off. And then I have tears from fuck boys. I have a money tree, which is supposed to be good luck. My manifest cash. Yeah. My interior designer got one for me and she was, I was like, what is this? It's a kind of a hideous plant, but she was like, it's a money tree. And like, I read that it's supposed to be good luck to have in your apartment to like manifest cash.

fruitfulness and are you good bro i feel like people turn to this stuff in their darkest times like yoga instructors let's be honest they're miserable like to become a yoga instructor it has to get really really bad i almost became a yoga instructor once and it was my darkest time if i call you and i'm like sorry can't talk i'm charging my crystals then we have a problem that's when someone should do a wellness check on me

The other day, wait, the other day I said to one of my guy friends, he had like grown out his beard a little bit and it had like red in it. And I was like, oh my God, you have like red in your beard. And I was like, you might have a redheaded child. And he was like, that's the meanest thing you've ever said to me.

I do have to say. And I didn't mean it as an insult. I was just like, oh my God, I've never seen like red hair on your beard. A lot of guys have ginger beards. It's a strange thing that I've never looked into, but I've noticed. But I do have to say Francis Ellis, the comedian's hottest ginger on the block. He's taken though. I asked him recently and he's taken. I was wondering for you. Thank you. Thank you for always keeping an eye out. Oh, you have no idea the kind of work I'm doing behind the scenes on your dating life.

There's this guy that I've become really good friends with on The Bachelor called Blake.

Yeah. Who I'm supposed to intro you to. So we'll keep you guys posted on that. Thank you so much. Bachelor Nation. Hi. What else? Bravo and Bachelor Nation having a little remix. That's fun. I love it. It's also crazy because I'll get like DMs or like people will comment on my pictures. They're obviously gigglers. And like they know that I only post for like one guy to see. And the other guy...

I posted a picture and someone DM me and was like, did the one guy like see this or like this? And I didn't even think to check. And then she got in my head and I was like, did he? And he didn't. And I was like, and now I'm spiraling. You're like, I knew the lighting was wrong. I knew I should have gotten more of a white and orange. Do I just text it to him like randomly? Like, oh, sorry. Didn't mean to send that. The worst, though, is when you're...

You're single and your friends send you a link to a guy that they want to hook you up with. And he is a swamp monster. And you don't know how to be like, like either like, hey, your friend is ugly or like, hey, you have terrible taste. It's so awkward because you not only have to deny him, but you're like rejecting your friend's taste. I also think like.

Look, I do think that I am like an adult because I'm 28 years old, but I still consider myself like young to like where I'm not stressed that I haven't met someone. Don't let society tear you down when they say that you're dead by 30. Yeah, like I'm not like... Your career will be longer than 30. Thank you. And I'm not like stressed like, oh, I haven't found someone like I'm never getting married.

And I think it's very endearing that people want to like try and set me up. But sometimes I take it as an insult. Like, oh my God, I have to set you up with this guy. And then like, they'll show me a picture and I'll be like, I'm not an ogre and like 65 years old and I've never been married. What the fuck? Who are you? You're not setting me up with this guy. You like figure out how friends really think of you. I'm like, that is what you think of me? It's also like, sometimes it's people that like,

You don't really know. And they're like, oh, my God, I have the best guy for you. And I'm like, I don't really know you that well. And I it's people like this is just an example. This didn't actually happen to me. But like the girl that like does your hair or like does your nails. I'm like, I have the perfect person for you. And I'm like, you don't really even know me. I see you once a month. I actually had an amazing conversation with a girl at the hair salon. Mm hmm.

Like Melissa or like someone who was at the hair salon? I'm not going to give a name because it's a really intense conversation. Okay. But it started very normal where, you know, you're like, where do you live? Whatever. Yeah. And then she went fully into her ayahuasca trip. Yeah. Yeah.

And have you heard of these things? I have researched them and watched documentaries on them. Oh my God. Okay. I've heard about it from like one of my ex-boyfriends, but he was crazy. So I didn't take it seriously. But she was like, yeah, I just came back from an ayahuasca trip.

I tell you, your girl had questions. I was never more into this conversation. I think it's fascinating. First of all, I was like, how did you even decide to do it? And she's like, I had a friend who did it and she actually told me like, I think it's time for you. And people say this ayahuasca trip, this form of a drug trip changes your life.

And it changes your perspectives. Like weed, you like get away from stuff where ayahuasca, you're forced to like face stuff. And it's like 10 years of therapy in one trip. Yeah. And I, when I've smoked weed, I have full panic attacks. Like I think I can't form a sentence. I panic that everyone knows I can't form a sentence. I wonder if my head's round or oval. I like a full freak out. I am a full freak. I ruin every party. It's so bad.

So I was like, this is my nightmare. I was like, did you have a good trip? And she was like, Hannah, I cried the first two days and they had to remove me from the room because I was killing the vibe. And I've never heard of an ayahuasca trip like this. I've never that many. But you basically have to have a shaman. Yeah. Which we love. I call her my hair shaman now. Yeah.

So you have to have a shaman to like control your trip. This is so interesting. She basically said that she smokes a lot of weed. Yeah. And that they told her you can't smoke weed the week before, but she did a couple times. And they said weed and ayahuasca are feminine energies.

and that they get jealous of each other. So she was having a counterintuitive reaction of the weed and the ayahuasca because they're like fighting each other. And then the last day, she was able to work through some stuff. She wanted to release some like hanging on to anger and forgiving people. And then since the trip, she stopped smoking weed. Very interesting. Or like once a week, but she used to like do it all the time.

Here's I okay there's I can't think of it right now because I feel like I watched this like in the beginning of quarantine but there is a thing on Netflix and I think it's like 12 episodes of just like each episode is different of just like random weird things like and one of them was about ayahuasca. Was it the goop thing?

Do you know when they did like weird stuff? Yeah, no, I did watch that one, but this was something different. And it was about this like- I love how we both have finished Netflix. Like we're done, we finished it.

This one was about this like ayahuasca place in Florida that like are basically doing it illegally. But they're like calling... They were calling themselves a church. Oh. And I have a friend who like has gone to Costa Rica maybe like three or four times. I don't know. And has done ayahuasca. Here's my thing. I...

like drugs that are like trippy, like an ayahuasca or like an acid or like LSD scared the fuck out of me because I'm always scared that like, what if I stay like this forever? What if this is like, I, what if I just go crazy? Well, that's how I feel about weed. I think I want to be dumb forever when I take it. Okay. Well, that's like a plant that people can like grow in their apartment. So like, I'm not nutrient. Yeah.

I had a friend though who did, I don't know if it was acid or LSD. And she told me that she has like a PTSD moment where she goes back to that place every now and then. No. And it's never lost her. Like it's fucked her brain up. I don't have to hear one story like that. And I'm fucking out. You're done. I'm done. That's terrifying to me. And like... And as a control freak...

Not being able to control your brain is the scariest thing in the world. And like some people like vomit, which is the number one thing I hate doing for like hours because it's like something about like cleansing your body. The ayahuasca? Yeah. Some people like throw up on it. And like, look, I'm all for like new fads and like things that are like, oh my God, we're researching this and this can like help your mental health and your body and all this shit. Just go to therapy.

Just go talk to someone. Says the girl who's been snorting chlorophyll for three months. Says the girl who just surrounded herself with a money manifestation plant. Says the girl who has a light laser mask. Shall we keep going? Wow, I forgot I had that mask. Oh my God, I always forget about it. Wow, thank you. You're like, wait, that's why my energy's been off.

Side note. Wait, I also have a side note. What's yours? No, you go first. So, Dominique, which we have to have her on the pod because I'm just obsessed with her. I'm getting dinner with her this week. She told me. Do you want to come? Yeah, I'm coming. Okay, good. When she told me, she was like, oh, I'm getting dinner with Hannah on Thursday. I was like,

i'm like i'll offend it but she was like so happy to tell me no but we like did it to kind we knew you were gonna come we just wanted to set it up before you like what um the way to make page go to events is not inviting her and then she tricks herself to thinking she wants to go because if i outright asked you you would have said no yeah if dom called me right now i was like let's do dinner with thursday i'd be like lose my number

She called me the other day and we were just, she's like my most spiritual friend. Yeah. So like when I moved into my apartment, she got me sage. Yeah. And like, she will just say these outlandish sentences. Like I was on the phone with her the other day and she goes, and then you know what happened? And I go, no, what? And she goes, my third eye was just thumping. And I go, what the fuck did you just say to me?

And then she was telling me about some dream. I think that she's like legitimately psychic and like hasn't tapped into it yet. She's in another realm. She seriously is because she was telling me about some dream and she goes, and like the vibration of the dream was just different. It had a different texture. And I go, I'm

I'm hanging up on you because I don't know what you're saying. I don't know if psychics are real or not. I'm going to put that on the record. However, I do believe in every culture and society and generation. There's a story of like, you know, the Nona in Italy, who's the older, wiser woman who like sees the future or like the healing. Like there's always someone wise in life.

And I do feel like we all have intuition, but you know how they say like you only use 10% of your brain or something? I believe people use more percentages of their brain with intuition in certain ways. Yeah. And it's genetic. I think people definitely have like...

abilities that other people don't have. And I'm going to tell a story. I don't think I've ever told you this story. And this was the moment that made me actually believe in psychics and mediums. Yes, there's probably psychics that are just like, oh, let me like tell your fortune. And they're totally wrong. But like, I really do think that people have a gift. I went to a medium one time. My mom's mother, so my maternal grandmother passed away

10 years ago. So I was in... I had just started college. And I was, like, extremely close to her. Like, on another level, every single summer, last day of school, I would pack up all my shit and go live at my grandma's house who lived, like, down the street. But, like, instead of going to camp, I went to my grandma's. Anyway...

Very close to her. When she passed away, there was a flower at her funeral that was like, I can't even think of the name of the flower. Not an orchid, a calla lily. So it's like this white flower flower.

And I took one of them from the funeral. No one knew I took it. Like it wasn't like a thing, like it was just on the casket. And I was like, I want like a flower from it. Took it, put it in my pocket, got home, hung it in my closet, like on a hanger, like in the back of my closet to like dry it out. Forgot about it. My mom didn't know I had it. Like you could have never seen it walking into my closet. This is like three years later, I go to this medium and

And the way she would do things is like she would start drawing or just like write. And sometimes she would draw pictures. Sometimes she would write words or sometimes it would just be scribbles. She starts drawing this flower.

And she's like, I'm drawing this flower. She's like, at first she didn't know it was a flower. She's drawing this thing and it's upside down. And she's circling it and she's drawing this flower and she turns it to me. And she was like, it's a flower and it's upside down. I don't know what that means. Do you know what that means? It's coming from your grandma. I burst into tears like full on tears.

Because it's in your closet upside down, right? Because it's sitting in my closet upside down. And I go, I know exactly what that is. And she goes, okay, well, your grandma just wants me to tell you she loves that you have that. And like it touched her heart so much that you even thought to do that.

and like from that day on I was like people have like psychic abilities no one would know that and she didn't know me and like she couldn't google that like no one would know that is such a beautiful story page isn't that crazy thank you for sharing I have goosebumps no I have goosebumps but I do love just thinking that like there is like a

Just like deeper understanding of like why the fuck things happen. A thousand percent. It's just, it's nice to have hope that there's deeper meaning behind our purposeless lives. What was I going to say? How did we even get on this topic? Well, I was talking about my hair shaman who I'm still not done.

My hair shaman then says that she did another thing with frog poison. I've never heard of this. So this is like a like thorough cleanse apparently where you you basically don't drink or eat anything for like 10 hours or 12 hours. You just like sleep and whatever you go there and they put like they burn you with frog poison. And I was like, where was this Peru? And she was like, oh, it's in Bed-Stuy. Yeah.

That's in Brooklyn for anyone who doesn't know.

I was like, was this some Peruvian cave that you were in? She's like, no, some Russian woman in Bed-Stuy. I will tell you, I've gone to some Brooklyn parties and they are deep in the drug scene. It's deep in it. They're just snorting. So then she was given something that like made her puke up all the water because you drink like two liters of water right before. And then something else like maca something that got her like relaxed and kind of high.

and I was like, so you good? Like, what did it do? And she's just like, yeah, I feel cleansed. And I'm just like, I'd be so scared. No, I'd be terrified. I'd be terrified. And also, I think it's from like growing up and my mom being like, if you try a drug, your heart will stop and you'll die. And like, it's in the back of my head all the time. So like drugs, like, like, I'm not, I'm not running out to do frog poison.

So fun fact about me that people are learning. I'm actually really bad at partying and you guys are going to learn more about that as we continue this journey together. No, I am. You're horrible at partying. You're not bad at it. You're horrible at it. You have a two hour win. Yeah.

Wait, you're so right. I have two hours of part time. I know. So I know from the moment that you get drunk, literally mentally, I've done the math. I know from the moment you get drunk that I have a solid two hours before you're like, and I'm getting chicken parm and I'm leaving. Like, I don't know what. I'm that bitch who like goes in the bathroom when I get drunk. I just look in the mirror and I'm like, why am I here?

You're like Questioning all your life choices So I've never done cocaine I'm gonna put this out here I've never done cocaine For two reasons If I don't like it I have a terrible night On cocaine Yeah And then if I do like it You're And I like cocaine Yeah So And I don't trust myself So Do you feel like You haven't Do you feel like I'm still not over the fact That you've never tried a cigarette Never tried a cigarette No

Do you feel like you have an addictive? Maybe in a past life I was an addict. Maybe. I do think that I have, I feel like we've lost a lot of people at this point in the pod. You know the best thing about our podcast is before we start, we're like, what should we talk about? And we're like, I don't know. I feel like other podcasts have like outlines. They know what they're talking about. Not once have we ever had something like that.

Where we planned anything. I was like, what are you guys talking about today? And he was like, thinking about what's in the news. And I go, first of all, Paige handles Front Page News. I will do some advice. And then like magic happens. So don't fucking ask us. Also, Paige, our lives, this is all just stems from our lives. Like when we'd go on live.

But yeah, I've never done this. Wait, what were we just saying? I was saying how I never did a cigarette. And if I feel like I have obsessive thoughts. You don't do a cigarette. You smoke a cigarette. You just sounded like a mom. Well, don't do pot. You don't do pot, mom. You smoke it. I thought it was like dope. What are the kids calling it these days? But also the worst part is, is like...

People think I'm fun. So after comedy shows, straight up girls are like, let's snort coke together in the bathroom. And I'm like, oh no, I have to ruin this like fun image that you have of me. And I'm like, I'm going home to fart by myself.

Dude, I stayed out till 6 a.m. last night, so don't even get me started. But I do have to say for everyone out there who's like, Hannah makes Paige less fun or whatever. It's called having a fucking balance. Because if I partied as well as Paige, we'd be dead. Oh, no. We'd be dead. We'd be absolutely dead. As Kristen Cavallari would say, donezo. Donezo. Donezo. And I recently...

At one point, like in the past week, I looked at myself in the mirror and I said, you stop drinking. Stop. It's enough now. You tried to bully yourself in the mirror? Yeah. I was like, we've had enough. You think alcohol's cool? Yeah. You think you're more fun when you're drunk? Well, my question to you is, I really,

I texted you the other day and you're like, I'm taking a bath. Oh my God. That night was so fun. Dude. Oh my God. I was living my best life that night. Hannah and I literally just voice noted back and forth to each other for two hours. And I just laid in the bathtub laughing.

It was so fun because that was the best voice message we've ever had. I've never been more myself in that two hours. I was in the bath with a face mask on laughing my fucking ass off. So Des was sleeping next to me as a 45-year-old does at 9 p.m. So I was just, at first I was texting and she was voice messaging. And I was like, fuck this. And I started whisper messaging. But we just couldn't stop laughing. And then we had like multiple conversations going on where you'd respond to like each topic. Yeah.

Because people don't talk about that enough. You guys, voice messaging is the shit. Because in a conversation, you have to wait for them to finish talking. Where this, you could just say whatever. And then you hear what they say, whatever. And you're just having this journey of words. But I have a question for you. Because I've never really done baths. Okay. Do you pee in the bath? Yes. Doesn't everyone? So you're sitting there in your own pee. Yeah.

And it's Gucci. Here's the thing. I'm not like actively like going in and like wanting to sit in my own pee. But I have a time or two before.

Been sitting in hot water And your body Naturally has to pee Also your pee Is like clean And like sterile So like Nothing's happening And also it's yours Now if I'm Taking a bath If I happen to Take a bath with someone And they pee I think I'd be grossed out But here's Here's a tip And trick for the girls I used to be obsessed With these detox baths

Oh. And I used to take one every single night, like four years ago. What makes it detoxy? What do you put in it? I forget what the actual measurement is, but it's baking soda and...

Fuck. Isn't like Epsom salt or what is the word? I think it's Epsom salt and baking soda. I haven't done one in so long, but I used to love them. And you're, the thing is like the water has to be, yeah, the water has to be so hot that you actually can't stand it. And you submerge your body like neck down. Yeah.

You have to sit in it for like at least 10 minutes, but you have to drink a ton of water before and after. Cause like you don't want to pass out. It's supposed to like, you're basically sweating while you're in the water and it's supposed to just like detox your body, help you lose weight. And then when you get out, you immediately pass out in your bed. You sleep like an absolute baby. I used to do them all the time because I always have like problems falling asleep. Um,

Well, I might start doing them again. And it just like it felt good. Like you'd wake up the next morning and been like, I slept like a rock. I'm just laughing because I can't believe you were like, guys, we just need to go to therapy. And all you've done is given other things that you're doing instead of therapy. I listened to call her daddy when she had the therapist on because I watched couples therapy. How was it?

It was really good. And like, I do have to get back into therapy. So fun fact, I'm back in therapy as of three weeks ago. Yeah. But I do think for the people out there who like I waited till it was really bad. And then and then you have to wait like three weeks to find the therapist because it's hard. But my thing was like I went to therapy and then things were going well for me. And I was like, I don't need to try to like talk and find new issues when I feel like I'm good.

But I guess it's like you want to do it when you're also not like in the shitter. Dude, I love that you just said that because the number one takeaway that I took from that podcast was Alex being like,

yeah, but I would go to therapy and be like, I have nothing to talk about. Like, this is a waste of time. Like, what am I going to like make up things to talk about? Or like, my life is fine right now. Like, I'm not going through any problems. And the therapist, I forget what her last name is, Orna, whatever, was like, mm,

those are actually some of the best sessions because you're just fully being yourself. And that's when you can dive into like things from all the suppressed memories. Yeah. All your like suppressed bullshit and like why you are the way that you are. Like she was like, those are some of my favorite sessions because they start like a new category of what you're going to be working on in the future.

I love that because that's why that like hearing that I was like, because that's me all the time. Like I would sit in therapy and be like, this is pointless. I have nothing to talk about. And then I'd stop going. And that's what made me want to get back into it. With my therapist, like I was talking and I was like, I didn't tell her I played tennis or anything. And I'm just talking about my life right now. And she's like, I'm hearing a lot of like, like winning and losing things.

um does that ring a bell at all and i was like oh my god and i started crying about tennis but but it's funny because like i wanna i start it and i'll just be like you've no idea the shit that just went down this week and i'll tell her all of it and we like work it out but then i'm like what would the therapy session have been if i didn't start it with like some crazy shit right and

But then she said to me at one point, she was like, wow, you have the craziest shit that's happened to you than any other client I'm talking to. And I go, so I'm winning? And she was like, that was, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's like those memes. But I actually joke with my therapist and I'm like, but yeah, it's one of those memes where it's like, what do you say? And what do we do when we get upset? We key his car. No. No.

And I go, did you have a good therapy session? I don't know. I made my therapist laugh. No. I used to go to therapy. I went to therapy for...

When I was like 18 like or no, maybe I was like 20. I don't know I have a horrible memory my friends from high school are like did you even go to our school because like you don't remember anything and I'm like I know I literally can't remember anything I went to therapy because I was in like a really toxic relationship and my mom was like I think you should just talk to someone so that was my first experience with therapy and I really liked it and I felt like it really got me out of some shit and

And then the most recent time I went to therapy, I actually went to couples therapy. And it was so interesting because one, I think it helped a lot in certain situations. But then in other situations, I felt like it made problems where there weren't problems yet.

But like down the line There could have been So at the time You were like This is just like Creating new issues That we didn't have to have Yeah like I resented it Because I was like We were good But was it right? Yeah

But I was like, we were good just a week ago. And now I fucking hate you. I hated like I'd have a good week. Then I go in and feel like, okay, I'm paying a lot of money for this. So let's like try to find something I'm upset about. But I really, but like now looking back on it, I do think it was really good because it brought up like certain things. And then it was like, okay, well, why do you react like that? And I was like, well, I don't fucking know. And then that's when you dive into like,

okay well this happened to you before yeah like there's like something in like tell me what your childhood was like was there a time when you like reacted like this you know it's just so crazy and interesting it's crazy too because me and you obviously have the gift of gab not to brag yeah we um i will make up shit if i don't know what i'm saying like i i used to raise my hand in class when i didn't know the answer yet and i just like figure it out if i just want to be called on like i was that annoying kid so my therapist will be like i hated those kids

But I was the girl next to you being like, stop. Oh, yeah. I like or I thought I was funny. See, I was like very intimidated in school because I like wasn't the smartest. So I never raised my hand. I couldn't read out loud. It literally gave me panic attacks. That's something you need to unpack.

For sure. But you doing a podcast now and shining shows growth. Thank you so much. I can read now. Because our brains are malleable. I can read now sometimes. But I would, what was I going to say? Oh, yeah. My therapist will ask me something and be like, oh, why do you think that is? And I'll say something and she'll be like, but why do you think that? Like, I'll say something like, oh, I just can't make a mistake, you know? And she was like, why? Yeah.

Yeah. And I was like, I have nothing. I don't, I don't know. And it's like, okay, we have a lot of work to do. You can't compare the feeling and there's no similar feeling to sitting in therapy and having like a weird moment where you're like, Oh my God.

Yeah. Like, why would I never think of that? Also, a lot of New Yorkers are doing Zoom therapy. And in the comedy shows I've been doing, they're making fun of Zoom therapists a lot. Like, not making fun of them, but just the concept of Zoom therapy. And one girl was like, so my Zoom therapist is, like, hotter than me. And she has... She always had something, like, on her glasses. And then I realized it was a ring light. And I'm like, bitch, why do you have to look better than me in this Zoom? Because that's...

Triggering. Now I'm more fucked up. But no, I really, I do want to get back into therapy. Oh, for sure. Definitely, definitely, definitely.

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well this was fun i feel like we've learned a lot one also thing i have a question for you yeah refinery 29 is saying that like bazooka pink is the new like color for your nails or like the new millennial pink have you heard of this actually i think bazooka pink is the color of your your mic right now what's your yeah pink is like very in for the spring and the summer pink and um green

Green is really having a moment. What I've also noticed living in the Lower East Side now, hey, everyone is dressing like Kurt Cobain. The girls and the guys. Like, give me an example. So it's like baggy, wide-legged jeans with a baggy shirt that looks like it was, you know, ripped. It's getting very 90s. It's 90s grunge. Not like our 90s, like Nelly. Like 90s...

It's almost even turning into like early 2000s, which I think was the worst. Oh, there is some early 2000s of like fashion, like a music video like that. But yeah, grunge is really in. I think it's because of quarantine that I mean, Urban Outfitters were literally the first outfit they show is just sweatpants with a sports bra.

I, it's kind of crazy with like the, how the jeans situation is like. Yeah. Remember like it was so in to have like such tight skinny jeans. And now it's like. Why do we do that to ourselves? You like can't be caught dead. I think bell bottoms are going to come back soon. They're like already back. Okay. I'm like behind, but can we do some. I do love that though. I loved bell bottoms. Yeah. Yeah.

I haven't done front page news in a while on like my own Instagram. A lot of people have been DMing me about like why. Why? I don't know. I just like haven't been in the mood. But I love that you listen to yourself and you don't force yourself to have like less inspired front page news if you're not feeling it. Yeah, like sometimes it's hard to give like a quip and like have an opinion. And like nowadays you can't like have –

an opinion on anything. Like I just, it's, I get too scared to say anything. I think you're in a high anxiety stress situation, me and you, the last couple of weeks for sure. That's why I need therapy. I have a lot of anxiety. The internet has not been like a positive place necessarily. So you're not like, oh, let me add joy to this. You're like, no, I'm going to get punched in the face. Even like before I had anxiety, I would always have like 50, 50 people being like, this is so funny. Like this is exactly how I feel. And then like other people being like, why do you think you,

Are allowed to have this opinion I'm just like fuck off Okay but this I have an opinion on J-Lo and Ben We haven't talked about it I thought we did We talked about it like them That it's fake Yeah we talked about it them being spotted out And like not knowing what's going on But like they're fully in it

They're fully in it. I told you, though, I thought we agreed that at first, Ben is not in a good place and his PR people were like, this is great. Like, put the Amazon boxes down and be with J-Lo. And then J-Lo, they know that this will make everyone forget about A-Rod immediately because the nostalgia. But like, do you think this shit is real? I don't know because I've been... Look, PR is crazy and they could spin anything. But I have been reading like a lot of articles about just...

People being like, Jen never, Jen? What am I, my nickname basis? And really never got over him and like really loved him. And I think like because he's the one that broke off the engagement. Do we remember why? He broke off the engagement and then like immediately started dating Jennifer Garner and like married her.

I forget what like I don't think it was ever said like if there was like something that he Yeah. What it was. I think he just got like scared or whatever. Okay. So she sang at the Neil Diamond Classic and she sang the song Sweet Caroline and at the Global Citizens concert and this was on May 2nd and

I didn't know this, but the song Sweet Caroline is also like the unofficial anthem that I guess they sing at like Boston Red Sox games. And so people were saying that like she did that on purpose. One, because A-Rod was a Yankee. And two, because Ben is from Boston and like loves the Red Sox. And there's nothing I love more than...

Literally nothing. Than shade like that? Than shade like that, that you couldn't prove. Yep. Like if someone called you out on it. And you just play dumb, you go, what? I like the name Caroline, you fucking psycho. You're crazy for thinking it. You know, like I love shit like that. That's called gaslighting. And this is why I need therapy and ayahuasca. Because I'm like, prove it. Literally prove it. Prove it.

I feel like celebrities are actually so good at like hinting at stuff and never like I feel like I just like I'd rather tell everyone everything. And that's why I get into trouble. I mean, do you think it's possible? Like I'm just trying to think about it. Like, okay, they broke up like 15 years ago. I think it is so much more painful when the person you're dating if they break up with you or it ends gets back with an ex than someone new because it means like the whole time they were with you. They were like

thinking about this other person yeah you know what i mean like yeah if i broke up if if des and i broke up and he started dating one of his exes i'd be like oh my god he liked her the whole time here's why i'm probably a narcissist i would never get back with an ex like actually start redating them again anyone like i've dated because i feel like

Each boyfriend I've had, I've gone up in like them being a good person. Yes. And like, you know, I mean, I had a few plug in there that were like absolute psychos, but that was fun. That was fun. And I just feel like going back and like dating an ex after so many years is like...

yeah i want to upgrade every time i have a boyfriend i want him to be better than the next and like be more of what i wanted and like i don't know my thing is you've been there you've done that i do feel like people are like if it's meant to be it's meant to be but i don't know i feel like you know you look back with rose colored glasses i also think it'd be like boring it's like i know you've been there done that you know i've been there done that i know yeah

I know what this looks like. Isn't that the fun? To be like, how big is it? Yeah, like I know how this plays out. I know all of your moves. I know them all. Oh my God, yeah. And there's so many fish in the sea, but... And I just don't know if I could get those butterflies back. Like there's nothing like when you first start talking to someone and like you're hanging out and you have like this weird moment where you're like,

Oh shoot. I'm absolutely obsessed with you. Well isn't that the exciting part being like I don't even know the kind of love I could find. You've gotten hooked up with exes before. Is it like that fun? It's fun in terms of like you know what to expect and you're comfortable with that person and like it's easy to hang out with them on the couch and like. Yeah.

whatever but i have long term you're like i know this plays out restarted to date an ex have we like gone out and kicked it and gotten dinner and like hooked up of course i'm bored but like i've never been like let's try this again you know

I'm not that dumb. It's so easy, though, for people who have trouble moving on from an ex. Like, remember not the best times. Remember the worst times. And those are the things that you're going to harp on when you're in the relationship. There's also just something about, like, wanting the next best thing. I don't know. We were just like, eh, no, don't want it. Yeah, 100%. But anyway, I, like, am fascinated by Ben and Jen. And I actually do kind of want them to, like, get married. Okay, well, isn't Ben also, like, didn't he, like, ruin Jennifer Garner's life?

Most likely, yes. Okay, here's another toxic relationship. So Travis Barker. Oh, also something came out about Travis actually hooking up with Kim before. Yeah, well, he was attracted to Kim, for sure. He said it in an article. But that part, like, okay, cool, crazy story. That's not even what I'm invested in in this situation. So his ex-wife, Shana, who they were only married for five,

for four years. Yeah. They share two children. She's wild on social media. Son and a daughter. The daughter, I fucking love her. She basically started talking about

Well, first of all, Shayna said something about how Travis covered up her initials with a tattoo of a skull and how he did that on purpose. And everyone was like, you literally got divorced in 2008. It's over. Chill out. And then the daughter started coming out and being like,

Everyone painting my mom like she's, like, this scorned ex-wife and, like, such a good person. My mom has never been in our lives. Like, she does not support us the way that our dad does in any situation. And I'm so sick of this. Like, just, like...

It was so... Not cute, but, like, it was so endearing to hear, like, how much this girl loves her dad. I don't know. Something about, like, dads and daughters. Like, that love, I just think, is so unique. Uh-huh. And then Shayna commented... Someone asked her, like, what do you think about your daughter, like, saying all these things? And she was, like, ridiculous. She spelt ridiculous wrong, which was...

Very telling. And then the daughter was saying how like her mom has been in a relationship with this like 28 year old model who like cheats on her all the time. It's the most toxic relationship ever. And the only reason she's posting it that it's like so good is because she can't get over like Kourtney and Travis. Wait, where is the daughter?

spilling this piping hot tea. She's doing all of this on like Instagram commenting on different things and she was like and then people were like you don't run your own Instagram this is like something and she was like I'm of age I absolutely run my own Instagram and I'll say whatever I want because it's my family. These kids are wiling in the streets. She's 15 and the son is 17. Landon in Alabama.

Oh, Alabama's a cute name. Yeah, like I oddly like that. Bami. Alabama. Oh, yeah. Also, speaking of like. Yeah, she's dating a 28-year-old model, Matthew Rundu. On and off again. What the fuck is she doing dating a 28-year-old model? I wouldn't even date a 20-year-old model right now. She clearly did not listen to our last podcast episode. No. Oh, can I just say one thing? Yeah. You know how Kylie always says, Stormy.

Yeah. Stormy. So I have this like 13 year old adorable pitbull who has arthritis and like snorts and snores. And he's so the cutest old man ever. I go, Romy, Romy. And he doesn't know that he's I'm Kylie Jenner. You know what I really want to get? I want to get Kanye West's tweet like printed out and framed that said, I low key don't fuck with that bitch Stormy. Wait, did he say that?

That he doesn't fuck with Stormi Loki When he was going Remember when he was going On those like crazy rampages On Twitter And like just Yeah Posting the craziest shit One of them was I Loki don't fuck with that bitch Stormi Which is Absolutely Hilarious Like hilarious Like Stormi gives him like Dirty looks at the dinner table Stormi's literally two years old When she's eating her baby food

but babies can be assholes let's just say babies yeah that needs to be talked about more babies don't like me what does that say about i don't know i think that they are people say like babies and dogs are good judges of character and like babies do not fuck with me i love that you've just owned up to your bad girl persona

Do you want to know something, though? I don't give a fuck because I don't fuck with babies. Like if anyone shows me a baby picture, I don't care. One of my really good friends keeps showing me a picture of her niece. And every time, Hannah, I'm not kidding you. Every time she shows me a picture of her niece, I go, I forgot you had a niece. And she goes, yeah, how? How do you always forget? I send you pictures. The baby is adorable. I will give it that. The baby is gorgeous. But

every time she sends me a picture. I think it's like most babies' outfits just don't, like, aren't good enough for you. You know? Like, you're just not impressed. Sometimes I do get nervous. I'm like, do I have... Pink and blue? Really? Be original. Sometimes I get nervous I don't have a maternal instinct, but then I realize that I've dated a bunch of really huge babies, and so I definitely do. Wait, but there's a thread called Why Babies Are Problematic. Yeah.

They remain silent on so many important issues. Name one baby who's ever fought for someone else's rights. Yep, that's why I thought you can't think of anything. Two, they're extremely toxic. They do nothing productive. They just leech off of people around them. They're just pathetic freeloaders with a massive sense of entitlement. Three, they especially prey on women. Women lose sleep, their own body fluids, and sanity for these misogynists. How are we allowing and supporting this?

For they're manipulative. They start crying without warning and offer no explanation for why. If they weren't toxic, they would explain what they need, but instead they want to play the victim and gaslight the people around them. And that is by artshl3y on Twitter. I...

Also, like, I don't know what this says about me either, but like, I can't wait to have my own kids, but I don't give a shit about other people's. No, that's, that's definitely normal. But Des, when I first met him, he had so many baby pictures on Instagram. My mom was like, oh my God, he loves babies. And then he was like, no, they're just really high engagement on Instagram. Yeah.

He was kidding, but not really. But he said when you hold a baby, it makes you really want one. I think it's also because I don't... Like an infant. Yeah, I've always been... I'm the youngest on my dad's side of the family. Yeah, I am the baby. And no one...

Like, my cousin, my oldest cousin, just started having babies. Like, she's the only one in our family that has babies. She has three. They're beautiful. But they live in Chicago. So I am not, like, around them. But at Christmas was the first time I met her youngest, her daughter, Poppy. And I...

I lost my mind. You loved her? I absolutely lost my mind. Because she thought you were like a princess? Like, I just, I high-key fucked with her. Like, I was like, you are so cute. And then I turned on, like, my camera and, like, the light from the camera and, like, recording it. She, like, perked up. Like, she knew we were recording. And I was like, are you actually my baby? Yeah.

like she loved the spotlight she loved everything about it and i was like you're mine i was like i think that you're my dog i do think though when you the moms of giggly squad because there are a lot of moms that are gigglers would know better but i feel like when you meet someone too that you like really fuck with you're like oh let's procreate wow that's really interesting when you're really in love with someone you're gonna be like oh my god i love him so much

Like I've had boyfriends where we've talked about like, oh my God, when we get married or like when we have kids and like, of course you have those like dumb conversations, but like always in my gut, I'd be like, I'm never have your kids. Like I would never want like my kids to call you dad. Cause like, I haven't felt that yet where I'm like this guy,

This guy's not. Yeah. Well, we're manifesting. We'll see. Is there anything else on Front Page News? No, that's it. Well, I have some shit we're binging. Okay. I watched Halston and you need to watch it. On what? Netflix. It just dropped with Ewan McGregor. Do you know what Halston is? Not really.

So Halston is like a huge, huge, huge fashion brand that like no one remembers. Even though he's like in the likes of like Balenciaga and, you know, Anne Klein. Like I've heard of it. Oscar de la Renta. Yeah, but couldn't tell you like anything about it. And it's still alive and well. So I'm not going to give it away, but you have to watch it because I love the like coming of age or like

He's basically from a town in Indiana. He's gay. Which gave me a lot of different emotions because I'm very attracted to Ewan McGregor. Is it a movie? It's not a movie. It's a series. Oh, it is? Yeah. But it's a great binge. I did it all in a day. There's a lot of sex. Wait, I'm doing this today. It's very funny because he's very petty, bitchy, and so...

Smart and artistic And so like Complex the character Apparently the family's Not happy They were like We did not sign off On any of this But it's based on a book Ooh And you kind of see How he creates His fashion brand Through his life What year is it like Set in? Oh it's So it's It

it's like the 60s to the 80s and it's like then it has a full studio 54 moment and he's best friends with Liza Minnelli someone plays Liza Minnelli in it you're gonna you're gonna love it have you ever watched the studio 54 documentary I feel like I got it was like there was too much um I was too exciting yeah I could see you like being like I can't but should I watch it yeah I would have thrived

I would have absolutely thrived in those outfits and just like going out to like disco parties. I think I was born in the wrong era. Well, it seems fun to like walk out of the car and everyone take photos. But then like once you're in, I'd be scared. I'd be like, I'm scared. But apparently when it shut, it showed that shut down and like they basically found a dead person in one of the ceilings like in an air vent.

At Studio 54? Yeah, because some lady was like trying to get in to the club and she like went in a back door and tried to get through in an air vent and then she got stuck or some shit. I don't know the details. But anyway, everyone watch Halston. Why did I need to look that up now? Yeah. And it's... I like...

I personally really liked it just because I like seeing how people like do what they love and there's a lot of ups and downs. And you know what? The theme of this episode is drugs and that guy snorted a shit ton of cocaine. Wait, I'm definitely watching this today. What a great Sunday like activity. Yes. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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Then I also have not watched this, but I saw an advertisement called Woman in the Window, I think, with Amy Adams on Netflix, who was just like blowing through Netflix movies. And it's about someone with agoraphobia. Do you know what agoraphobia is? Basically means you're scared to go outside. Which I think we have. It doesn't sound too crazy because we have that. I think a lot of people have it. Like you just, it's like bad social anxiety, whatever. She has agoraphobia. Yeah.

And she makes friends with someone. Wait, is it going outside because you have to interact with the world? Yes. Like, yeah, high social anxiety? Yes. Okay. It's not like the nature of outside. I think it's a combination of a lot of things. Just like, yeah, like outside, you can't control anything that happens. Okay. Wait, what is this? Is this a movie? Netflix. A movie, though. What's it called?

Woman in the Window. And this is new? Like 2021? This is very new. It just came out. I gotta write this down. She basically is looking... I've just seen the trailer. But she makes a friend and that friend lives across the street and she can see through their window and she realizes shit's going down and basically says like, hey, there's bad stuff happening and then they're telling her she's crazy. And you don't know if she's crazy or she's like seeing real shit.

And who's the actress? Amy Adams. I love her. We love. I love her. I think she is so... I don't know. There's just something about her skin and her hair. Like...

she's so stunning and like she also seems like she's shy and she stars in movies which is like i just think she's so interesting yeah i do too i like she'll play a shy character the whole time and just be such a fucking star i've never watched a movie that she's in that i haven't liked agreed also is jennifer lawrence okay has anyone checked on her oh my god you didn't hear what happened

What? Well, I've been offline for weeks. Oh, my God. So everyone started DMing me because on Heather McMahon's podcast, they were talking about like just like Bravo gossip stuff. And Jennifer Lawrence like chimed in.

And was like, I heard that Paige DeSorbo from Summer House was like dating Austin Kroll from Southern Charm, which like so not true. And like never gone on a date like the information couldn't have been more wrong. But did I care? Absolutely not. Because I'm sitting there and I'm like, Jennifer Lawrence just said my name.

knows who I am and I and is gossiping about you no I started freaking out and I actually remember Dominique one day Dominique like made me go to the museum with her because it's just like things that she does it's so not me

And we're at the museum and I'm in the elevator and like Jennifer Lawrence is walking in the elevator and I'm just staring at her like, like I've never been more starstruck in my entire life. I literally started hitting Dominique and like I couldn't move. First of all, she's absolutely stunning. Stunning.

Stunning in person Yeah And she's tiny Like she's shorter than I thought I was about to say I thought she was like tall Cause she plays Hunger games Like she could beat The shit out of everyone She's so cute I wanted so badly To be like

I know that we would be such good friends. Like, please. That story stressed me out because imagine being her and everyone that sees you feels the same way as you. Like every time you walk by someone goes, Oh yeah. I didn't like, I didn't say anything, but I was just like, I,

I was like, wow, you're just amazing. I love every fucking movie you do. I love your personality. So you're telling me that you're going to be best friends with her now? I love her. I went through a period of times, like a couple years ago, where to fall asleep, I would watch YouTube videos of her on different interviews. Because she's so funny. Because I just thought she was hilarious. No, but you know what happened to her? What?

She was so relatable and so funny and so likable. So the media was like, now it's time to take her down. Wait, why did the media take her down? It was just like people just started joking like about how like making fun of her whole shtick of being relatable. Like I'm Jennifer Lawrence. I'm so relatable. I trip everywhere.

I don't get fuck everyone. Dude, seriously, absolutely fuck people. I think she's great. She also doesn't have social media, which I love. I know. I tried to look her up. That's a power move. It is a power move. And she's like married. She lives her fucking life. And like, yeah. And she's amazing actress. I mean, she was an Oscar. She's an Oscar award winning. She was in an Oscar.

Yeah. Katniss Everdeen. Dude, Hunger Games. Hunger Games. I had never seen it. This is also crazy. And I watched all three of them during quarantine. Incredible. Can't tell me anything because I want to be Katniss.

To wrap up our dope documentaries, I watched Son of Sam. Have you watched? I haven't watched it yet. You told me about this. Last time? Yeah. Well, I finished it. Was that you? Maybe. But yeah, it's about like demon Satan cults and stuff, which apparently were super in in the 90s or 80s. Honestly, didn't love the end of it. You didn't? No.

Okay, so maybe I'll watch that last. Yeah, watch it last. It's not that I enjoyed it. I recommend it. It's funny because it's all these like people from Queens with their thick Queens accents being like, I can't even go outside. I had to change my hair color because I was so scared of the son of Sam.

It's hilarious. This girl was like, I just want to go outside. I want to go outside and love Lane and make out with my boyfriend, but I can't. Should I watch Halston? Yes, you should watch Halston today. Not the window movie. It depends. Like, if you want to get fucked up, what?

Like do woman in the window. Let me see what type of fucked up I want to go. Yeah. Like, you know, like, do I want to be super scared and watch Son of Sam? Maybe I'll do that tonight. And guys, whenever you do anything that you're not sure about, like if someone asks like how, you know, what milk you want in your coffee or like what, what color you want to dye your hair, just say, fuck me up, fam. And see what they do. That's how we live our lives. Same. Sometimes I can't decide and I'm just like,

I don't know what drink I want. Fuck me up. So with that said, guys, thank you. Are we done? Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much for giggling. Thank you. Like literally. Thank you. Like, no, thank you. No, I think that this was an ayahuasca trap. So thank you. Thank you for friends with you is like being on drugs.

Thank you. No, thank you. Thank you. We don't need therapy because we take each other as a drug and it is healthy. Thank you. Thank you. It's like the tweet. You're like a chocolate chip cookie, but when you bite into it, you realize it's an oatmeal raisin and you're high.

No, that's not the meme. That's not it. The meme is, I love this meme. Dating me is like biting into an oatmeal raisin cookie, realizing it's chocolate chip. And then two hours later, realizing it was an edible.

Your life just progressively gets better and better. You're like, fuck yeah. Yes. Yes. So, all right. Don't do drugs, kids. We love you. Yeah. Don't do them. Don't. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye.