Giggling about new beginnings, Brad Pitt, and poop
48:33 Share

sup gigglers barry fix the wi-fi manifest that shit we can't be managed i mean the day just got away from me okay it's recording wow wow wow wow wow okay what is up gigglers we are back we're back full force we're back better than ever

I mean, you're hungover, which is my personal favorite mood of yours, because who knows what you're going to say. You get all loosey-goosey. You're probably a little still drunk, and I love that for you. Honestly, I am a little still drunk. See, like, that wasn't even a sentence. Yeah, I didn't form a sentence, and I'm sober. So this is starting well. But anyway, welcome to Giggly Squad, a place where we make fun of everything.

Including ourselves. Mostly ourselves. Mostly ourselves. Hannah prepped me before that and I knew I was going to fuck it up. That's okay. She fucked it up. We haven't been waiting months for this. Last time people saw us was on a live during the summer, but people haven't heard us together in months and a lot of shit has happened in our lives. But first of all, we have a podcast and this is it. And you're listening to it right now. I hope this is it. If it's not, I'm worried what this is. Happy.

Seriously, Paige? I know. Seriously? Oh my god. Who is it? Who is it? One of my girlfriends. Oh, okay. If it was a certain guy, I'd make you pick it up right now. I mean, it's the content we need. I just put my phone on do not disturb. We are back and, I mean, ready to giggle. I'm so ready to giggle. Well, there has been some stuff happening in your life that we need to address.

The Gigglers are full detectives, and I feel like they found out that my boyfriend and I broke up before. Before you broke up. Before.

Before we even broke up. They knew it was going to happen before it happened. They were like, Paige and Perry broke up. I was like, did we? Yes. So confirmed. I am a single girl about the town now. I feel like I have things will happen in my life and we don't do the lives every night. And I'm like, what would the giggler say about this like particular situation that I've gotten myself into? Yeah.

And I just can't wait. I can't wait for them to take this such a journey with us. What did you do this weekend? Just tell me. Just lay it out. Okay. I'm not a human. Like, I'm not a real person. Please listen to what I did last night. I had a birthday dinner with, like, a bunch of my friends. And my guy friends play this game called the dice game.

And they bring a dice out with them, put it in their pocket. And when they don't have one, they have like an app on their phone where you can like press dice and it will be like a game. So basically what it is, is I would say like, okay, if I roll a five, Hannah has to like do 10 push-ups, right?

But if it doesn't roll a five, then you don't have to do it. But if it rolls a one, then I have to do what I was going to make you do. That's fun. Yeah, no, it's so fun. Is there drinking involved ever? I mean, we're just all drinking, but then you're laughing because someone's doing something stupid. Like, it's a very fun game.

So last night I'm hammered at this dinner and I'm like, oh my God, if I roll a five, Alexa has to sing the national anthem. You're so stupid. Do you even know the words to the national anthem? I played myself, played myself. I roll a one, which means I have to do it. My one guy friend goes, I go, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'll just do it for our table. And he goes, oh, absolutely not. He

He gets up. He makes the DJ in the restaurant cut the music. He makes me stand on a chair in front of like 30 people who are at this restaurant because, you know, 25% capacity in New York City. But there's like still a lot of people in this restaurant. I got up on a chair. I've actually never heard you sing in my life. Because I can't sing. I had to Google the words to the national anthem and I just couldn't.

And I did it. And now you're running for president. And now, Paige, 2020. Wait, was it awkward or were people, like, in on the joke? What was the vibe? Some people were like, what is she doing? So some people thought I just did it because I was drunk. Yeah. Which is true. But, like, we were playing a game. I lost a bet. I had to do it.

And like I'm standing up there and I'm singing and then I'm done and people are clapping because it was award winning. And someone goes, someone had to be the first to get up and sing the national anthem. And it might as well have been me. People are like Adele left Saturday Night Live, went to this birthday dinner, got really patriotic.

And it's Italian now. I was looking at like my drunk text messages and I texted my mom and I go, I just lost a bet and had to sing the national anthem in front of a full restaurant. And she goes, oh my God, you're ridiculous. The question is, did you hit the high note?

I don't remember. But then like people started to feel bad for me. So they started singing because they were like, this bitch can't sing the national anthem. They started like a slow clap. Yeah, I was like sweating. I was so nervous. But I'm actually really proud of myself that I did it because I'm not a quitter. But you need to survive these obstacles to become the woman you're going to become. Oh my God. It's just, it's, I just don't know what I'm doing with my life.

you need a chaperone this is actually i know i need a chaperone when i'm not with you this is what happens i need a babysitter my alcohol with you yeah you're okay right whenever i leave you people i get text messages people are very worried very worried worried my alcohol tolerance is that of a 55 year old irish man who owns a bar it's just speak

your old Irish back. Great segue. And this is why they pay us the big bucks. This morning, I did two things. I woke up. I spent two hours in the shower shaving because since my appendix surgery, we got a little reckless. Shaving the top of your butthole. Like, you know, when the where the butt starts, the butt crack starts. No, yeah, I do.

Why don't people talk about how dangerous that is? That if you want to get those hairs at the top, which are the first hairs he will see if you're doing doggy style, you can so easily slit it open. It will slit open unless you go in a squat position. Guys, this is a great tip. You have to squat. Spread the cheeks and then try to like, you need to actually, there needs to be a razor specifically for the upper butt crack. Do we invent that? UBC. UBC.

I think we do. We'll have to put that in our merch. We have to patent that immediately. But wait, is it just me? No, no, no. It's girls across the country. No one's talking about it. I love how it's just the country. It's not the world. It's just work. Europe, they like let that shit flow. I don't know what they're doing over in France, but I know they're not shaving. Also, I'm about to get a little more graphic, but shaving your vagina lips. Mm-hmm.

You have to switch hands to get inside it. Like, okay, maybe because I'm Italian, but I have hair growing inside. That's honestly one of the most vile things I've ever heard in my life. Oh my God. You have to like open one with your left hand and shave with your right. And then you have to switch hands and open one up with the right hand and shave with the left. If we had any male listeners...

They have dropped off. I hope my crush is listening to this and he's just like, she is... This is Call Her Daddy if no one wants to call me anymore. Remember when we used to say we're like the broke version of Call Her Daddy? But then I infiltrated Call Her Daddy. Yeah, you did. I took her talent and I started my own podcast. No, we love Alex. We'll get her on in the future. See, I finished shaving and then...

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Happy Saturday. Then I started texting you. Please. No, keep going. Tell the people. Okay, guys. I was like kind of just having fun and I was just looking at engagement rings and Paige and I have had fights over engagement rings. If you don't know the past, we got in a fight because I said that I want a garage wedding. She wants a backyard barbecue wedding and I'm appalled and offended.

But Paige, before you go in, how many people during quarantine do you think had huge weddings planned? Right. Like hundreds of thousands of dollars, decide not to do it, had a small intimate gathering with their family and was like, oh my God, I'm so happy I did this. No, I totally agree. And I'm now. Like I think it's shifting. Like I think I'm more on trend.

I think you're correct in that statement. And like, I would love to get married and have a cool 50 to 75 close friends for a sit down dinner. But the aesthetic of a backyard like barbecue is not it. Garage. Like I hear you. I see you. I respect you. It's not it. Right.

But then I went so far, because you guys, Paige, even though she claims she's not a child bride and she never wants to get married, is a complete lie. She's had a Pinterest board since she came out of the womb. She somehow knew how to use Pinterest at one month old. Right. I've never thought of these things. So today I decided to do some research. But before I was like, rings seem like they're just being my way. Like I'll get them stuck on everything. It'll fall down the drain one day. When I'm trying to wipe my butt, it'll scrape something.

It'll get stuck on a sweater. Do you never wear rings? I really don't. As a tennis player, go Badgers, like you don't wear rings. Right. Unless you're Serena Williams because she's a freak. So in my head, I was like, maybe I just get like a tiny little band with like a pearl on it. And that's when I got attacked. I mean, when that actually came out of your mouth, I was like, what am I doing being friends with this person? Who in their right mind...

You actually used the words, grow the fuck up. Those were the words that you said to me and I've never forgotten them. I'm just like dainty and I like don't like flashy things. I want a pearl ring. I do remember that. And I just looked at you and said, money, grow the fuck up, get a diamond. I feel like you threw a pillow. I probably did. I was so offended. You lost your appetite for the day. You didn't even want to put together an outfit. Just disgusted.

but disappointed was what i was let's just say that i've changed i found myself the diamond industry is wild i was just scrolling and you can find just like any ring any price and suddenly i was like i must have lost my damn mind to think i don't want a huge fucking rock right i mean in what world would we not want huge fucking rings

It took a lifetime to find the person you want to marry. Finding the perfect engagement ring is a lot easier. At BlueNile.com, you can find or design the ring you've always dreamed of with help from Blue Nile's jewelry experts who are on hand 24-7 to answer questions and the ease and convenience of shopping online. For a limited time, get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with code LISTEN at BlueNile.com.

That's $50 off with code LISTEN at BlueNile.com. Sometimes just drinking water is kind of boring. Hannah hates plain water. You literally can't give it to her, even in the dead of the summer. So with Liquid IV, it makes drinking water refreshing like summer popsicle flavors. They have firecracker, rainbow sherbet that really just hit home.

the spot everyone knows i'm a stanley girl and sometimes plain water does just get boring when you're drinking it all day every day and liquid iv is so easy and convenient you just tear pour and enjoy plus if you're already drinking that much water why not double your hydration

Liquid IV is scientifically formulated to quickly replenish electrolytes and fluids lost from sweat or exercise. It has 100% daily value of four essential B vitamins, excellent source of vitamin C, and it's on-the-go hydration. Tear, pour, and live more. One stick,

With 16 ounces of water, hydrates better than water alone. Indulge in hydration this summer with Liquid IV and get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code GIGGLY at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code GIGGLY at liquidiv.com.

You know what that is? Something's happening. It's time for a mental health moment. Love this for us. I love this for us. So the mental health moment I've been thinking of is how change is good. And, you know, you can have anxiety about change and you can be like, oh, Hannah and Paige, they have a podcast now. It's not Instagram lives or, oh, I'm single now. I don't have a guy that texts me every morning all the time. And I think that change is great when you don't look back with rose colored glasses.

Change is hard when you're like, oh my God, I love what I had. You didn't bitch. Like you got to be honest with yourself. I used to be so scared of change. Now I welcome that shit.

welcome it breakups are the fucking best in the world I love getting new jobs change is how you grow when you continue to challenge yourself as a human being and at the end of the day you can't really mess up let's be honest everything always ends up okay seriously what's meant for you you can't mess it up and me and you are very into spiritual stuff like psychics and stuff and I once asked a psychic I'm like we love

Shout out to our psychic. I mean, I have her on speed dial. She's like my new best friend. Like we like legitimately chat about real life things. And then I'm like, by the way, you're just trying to make me jealous, which is just annoying. But I always was scared of talking to psychics because I was like, I don't want to know my path. And they go,

No one has a set path. It's just that like if you go off track, shit will happen that will push you back on. And I like to call them the whispers telling you like, you don't like this. This isn't right for you. But if you want to ignore them, you can. But realistically, actually, Oprah talked about the whispers. The whispers are when you're like at that job and you know it's not right. But nothing terrible has happened. So you're like, I stay here for four more years. It's like your gut. Like there's a small. Oh, my God.

Honestly, Hannah, you're like in my brain. I was just going to say, can we talk about your appendix? Oh my gosh. How skinny are you right now? You're just so thin. You love saying that, but do you realize the appendix is like 0.2 grams? It's a tiny, tiny, tiny thing. Like I didn't really lose weight. When I got my appendix out, maybe it was because mine, I was like,

so young and they burst that I like I lost like 10 pounds yeah I think because it burst you probably couldn't eat for a week or so yeah you couldn't eat for like a month I'm gonna be honest I've never said this in public but um I thought your appendix was like near your tonsils like when people like I got my appendix out I thought it was the thing that Cardi B sings about and whop like the gangly thing in the back of your throat appendix just sounds like a dentist thing to me

I got my appendix out. It sounded so casual like they took like a little thing out of your esophagus. Honestly, I'm going to back you up on this. If I didn't also get my appendix out, I'd have no fucking idea where it was. It sounds like in the family of wisdom teeth. It does.

It does. No, it totally does. But long story short, I was filming Bravo's chat room and I'm the queen of stomach aches. I've had every stomach ache in the book, whether it's like really are because of dairy or because of whatever. I don't know. I don't even know if I have sensitivities to food because I just fucking ride the pain out. I will eat anything because it's worth it because life is short. But I was getting this pain that wasn't coming in waves. And I also was scared I was pregnant.

And I was like, mom, do you get weird stomach aches when you get pregnant? And she's like, I mean, I guess like you get stomach aches sometimes. And I'm like, oh, God, you know, when you're in that pregnancy anxiety spiral or whatever. I'm like, do you have fingernails when you're pregnant? She's like, so my friend told me that your gums bleed when you're pregnant. I was brushing my teeth and I was like, oh, my God. She was I made that up. And I was like, I'm pregnant. Yeah.

Also, God forbid I just take a pregnancy test. I'd rather just stress about it because there's no signs that you're like not not pregnant. Anyway. Right. So I was like, this is it. But then the burning, I like to describe it like, you know, when you eat something too hot and you shouldn't, but you do it because you're so hungry and then you feel it go down your chest. Yes. That's how it felt like my whole stomach burned.

And after filming, it got really bad. And I was just lying down. It felt like I had a demon child, like Satan's baby, Rosemary's baby. I just envisioned like a guy with a little like the devil's sword and just stabbing me. Just like getting bigger and bigger. Like here I am. Yeah. I'm like, this is the child I deserve for talking about sex so much on podcasts, which I will continue to do. I was like, Jesus, I'm sorry. I will believe in you. So I get to the hospital and because of Corona, I'm like,

they don't let anyone in with you so i'm just like thrown into the er in pain and there's like heroin overdoses like this is southampton so there's like rich problems happening heroin overdose someone's like puking next to me then there's like the weird er fights because people are drunk and they're like i don't need this yeah and i'm just lying in there in pain and in my head i'm like i don't know what this is so they pull me in for an ultrasound this is so embarrassing but

The lady's doing the ultrasound and then she's like, I don't see the appendix. I'm gonna have to like go in your vajayjay. So I'm getting like poked and prodded. She's in my vajayjay. And she goes, you have so much poop. Stop it. Hannah, stop. I'm sitting there and in my head, I'm like, if I'm in the emergency room and Des and my parents are waiting outside because I just have to take a large shit, this will be the best story to tell in the podcast.

So would be the most on brand thing I've ever heard for you. But it turns out my intestines were wrapped around my appendix. So I think she saw my like appendix like she she can see my appendix. My intestines were just like wrapped around and weird there. I don't think there was that much poop in me.

But she literally was like, you have so much poop in you. And I was like, this bitch is going to tell her friends about me. So they had to do emergency surgery, get your intestines unwrapped around, and then what? And then take your appendix out? Well, they still didn't know what it was. They just thought I was like, I had a lot of poop. They do a CAT scan. They couldn't see the appendix because the intestines were wrapped around it. So I'm still in pain. Then...

Finally, you have to speak up in the hospital when you're alone. But I was in so much pain. But finally, I was like, I need more than whatever you guys have been giving me. Yeah. They gave me something. I think it's like Daya something. Okay. Nothing has ever hit me that fucking good. It came over me from the top of my head down like a cloud. And I was like, the world is great again. And you're like, drug addicts? I get it. Life was good.

Anyway, long story short, they finally were like, we don't know what you have, but we think it's appendicitis. There's like a 50% chance we're just going into surgery because we can't let it burst. I've never gone under before because I'm a control freak. No way. I'm so scared of losing control of my brain. But it literally is like, hey, so we're going to, Hannah, are you okay? Like it literally, there's no time that passes. They're like, so the other day, Hannah, are you up? What's up?

Then I'm looking and like one of the doctors was like low-key hot. And I'm thinking, I hope that when I was under, my loud mouth did not go off on this man. And I'm looking around and they're acting like super awkward, but I can't tell because surgeons are pretty awkward in general. And I also had a full face of makeup from Bravo chat room still, so I looked gorgeous. Gorgeous. And they basically go, you tried to escape the operating table. No, you did not. No, you didn't.

So I think I was like, you can't sell my lungs on the black market. I'm getting, get me, I'm on Summer House. How did I end up here? Also, one of the nurses said she liked my tweets. So long story short, I'm fine now, but it was a traumatic weekend, but I wanted to give you guys the details. I think it's officially time for front page news. Did you prepare anything? I mean, you know me, kind of.

Okay, my first story is, it's not even really a story. It was just a headline that like caught my attention. Selena Gomez wants a funny boyfriend, but admits she's totally cool with being single. Okay, let's dive deep into that. Yes, Selena, everyone wants a funny boyfriend. No one's out here being like, I want a dud. Hey, you know what I really want? To not laugh for the rest of my life. Like I just...

Actually, there's a rumor that Kristen Cavalieri was seen making out with comedian Jeff Dye. Yes. Yes. So in the comic community, Jeff Dye, he was actually like my ex-boyfriend was on the end. Chris DiStefano was on that MTV show Guy Code. So he was just like one of the like hot up and coming comics. Wait, did you match them on Ryan? Say that. Okay. I just I felt it.

I matched with him like two years ago and never opened his message. How crazy is that? I do think that Selena saying that she wants a funny guy is direct shading any recent guy she's dated who's like super hot basically saying you have a shit personality.

A thousand percent. One thousand percent. And I love that for her. I love that. Like, I just want someone who makes me laugh. You know, like, yeah, obviously. What? Also, I do have to say I hate when girls are like, I just want to be with someone who makes me laugh because it's very integral that you're with someone that you can make laugh because laughing at the same time is the definition of intimacy. Yeah. It's that time of the year. Your vacation is coming up.

You can already hear the beach waves, feel the warm breeze, relax, and think about work. You really, really want it all to work out while you're away. Monday.com gives you and the team that peace of mind. When all work is on one platform and everyone's in sync, things just flow. Wherever you are, tap the banner to go to Monday.com.

You guys know that I hate leaving the house and I only grocery shop online. Thrive Market makes shopping for healthy groceries easy, stress-free, and tailored to you and your family's needs. Freestyle olives are my absolute favorite olives and I discovered them on Thrive Market. I actually gave my friend Taylor a bag the other day because they were in my kitchen.

And I was like, if you haven't tried these, you absolutely have to. And not only do I save time shopping as a Thrive Market member, I also save money on every single grocery order. On average, I save over 30% each time. And when you join Thrive Market, you are also helping a family in need with their one-for-one membership matching program. Plus, Thrive Market now accepts Snap EBT.

So save time and money by getting it all in one place with Thrive Market. Go to thrivemarket.com slash giggly for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T-H-R-I-V-E market.com slash giggly. Thrivemarket.com slash giggly.

I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims. I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts.

and really replaced everything with Skims because I know it's always going to look good, and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

It's my favorite time of year. It's summer going into fall. It's the best fashion part of the year. It's my favorite season and sometimes shifting your summer wardrobe to fall can be a little bit of a challenge, but luckily we have Quince, which offers timeless and high quality items that I absolutely adore. And the best part about it is it's

completely on budget. They have cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, and all of Quince's items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And Quince only works with factories that use safe

ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes that you'll absolutely adore. I have this navy blue cashmere set from quince and I'm always using the sweater during the summer to like tie around my shoulders. So make switching seasons a breeze with quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash giggly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. Okay, so Britney Spears' makeup artist was on this podcast and she was basically spilling tea without spilling all of the tea, which I'm so interested on how she's like not getting in trouble for this. But she basically...

compared Britney Spears' life to Handmaid's Tale and that she, if it was up to her, she would have been married to her boyfriend by now and had a baby.

And with the conservatorship, her dad is not involved anymore. Her sister is going to be more involved and her manager currently is in charge of it. And Britney Spears has had more control over her social media, hence the dancing in her underwear video. Let's deep dive into that because a lot of people were DMing me and they're like, but Lisa Rinna like dances around in her underwear.

But Lisa Rinna is self-aware and is doing it strategically because she's like, I am fine. Yeah. Where Brittany is like, oh, my God, I have the camera for the first time. What do I do? I just I just don't know where it goes into your head where you're like, no, I know I'm going to put my underwear on and I'm going to do a dance and I'm going to post it for millions of people. And like.

I'm laughing right now, but I also am hesitant in that, like, I think she does suffer from mental health stuff. Right. But the question is, it's like, is that what she was born with? Is it something that she's so, like, freaked out and can't trust anyone that it created, like, phobias and, like, severe depression and anxiety? But, like, her whole thing of, like, walking into frame and walking out.

Is that a cry for help? Is there a metaphor that we're missing? The thing is,

It's just so hard because we don't know what's going on. And when she has the opportunity to like tell us, she just shows us her underwear, tells us that like she burned her. One thing led to another. One thing led to another and I burned it down. No, I'm obsessed with Britney. Like I love her. Also, could you imagine this woman has been famous for most of her life? She's been famous for more years than she wasn't famous, which is

Insanity. And like next level famous. No, next level. Like you can't leave your apartment famous. At all. You don't have an apartment. You own the building. Right. And you can't leave the building famous. Love that. I mean, that in itself has to cause so much mental...

Mental health problem. That's why I'm convinced that Hilary Duff, something's going on and we just haven't found it yet. No, I think. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Remember three months ago when we had a full conspiracy theory on Hilary Duff? She's pregnant. She's pregnant. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Okay, what do we have next? Okay.

Oh, my God. Okay, so did you see the Dominic West-Lily James scandal? Yes. I actually learned about it through FrontPageNews on Instagram. Armie Hammer, one of my number ones. Marriage to Elizabeth Chambers. Done. Done. Donezo. And there's an alleged report that it was over because she found text messages on his phone that were...

in quotations, devastating. And it was signed Adeline, which is Lily James's name in a movie that's coming out on Netflix that she did with Armie Hammer. And then there's reports that like when they were on set, they were clearly something was going on. Lily fucking James. I mean, this bitch is out here. She doesn't give a fuck. She is just, she's like, what are you going to do? I'm the mistress.

That's insane. Also, she looks like the sweetest, like most angelic thing. No, she looks like a literal ladybug who is like, who is like come to life. She was also with Chris Evans.

Like in quarantine I think Part of me has respect for her But part of me is also like Close your legs for married men Right Especially in the public Like Lily James You could hook up with anyone Like why are you hooking up With these married men Also Dominic West Like Armie Hammer To Dominic West Get your shit together Lily Like

Also, Dominic West is a star of The Affair. So it was like very ironic. I don't know if I could date a guy whom his whole, you know how like, you know, the Joker, what's his name? Does the Joker and he was like, oh, I got so depressed.

No, but before. Oh, Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger did the Joker and he was like, got too into the role. And then like, it got too dark. I would not want a guy who's like doing the affair for like seasons and seasons and seasons. Cause I'd be like, he's like, babe, I'm just researching a role. I'm researching a role. I'd be like, fuck you. Um,

Also, here's the thing. If you're so famous and you're so rich and you could get any girl like you don't even you don't even have to have game. Girls are just want to sleep with you because you're Armie Hammer or you're whatever. You have to Clooney it. Don't get married. Just wait until you're in your 50s. Yeah. Until you you're like, I'm.

like sexed out, like, like tap out. I'm going to get married now and just enjoy my life. I might Clooney it. I also have so many different groups of guy friends that are like in such different places in their lives. And like when I need to hang out with like an established human, I go hang out with one. And then when I want to like, when I want a not fully formed brain to make bad decisions with, I'm like, no, I actually, I do love a lot of your guy friends, but

you've never once tried to hook me up with any of them and like oh god no we know why they're monsters monsters what do we have next brad pitt and his much younger girlfriend nicole who she's 27 is she the one that's also married yes like what these people are taking all the cake like the whole

Don't whatever cake and eat it too. Yeah. This bitch has a fucking seven layer cake. Imagine Brad Pitt is your side bitch. Let's just think about that for a second. I'm like, oh, fucking Brad wants me to like leave dinner early to fuck. Oh, fucking Brad is so needy.

Brad, I can't be out in public with you right now. Could you imagine? So she has an open relationship with her husband who is a restaurateur. His name's Roland Mary, which I don't...

love like mary like m-a-r-y yeah first name roland roland okay interesting he's 68 they have a seven-year-old son together they were seen out like this past week um at one of his restaurants like having having dinner or something and laughing and like smoking cigarettes i don't know i guess that's what like people do in europe um my friends only do it when they're real fucked

But like people in Europe are just like smoking cigs at dinner. You're still under control today. I love it. So what's the deal? Is the husband just like, yeah, it's fine that you're sleeping with Brad Pitt on the side. I feel like as a husband, you would almost be like,

Kind of proud like I think it would be my girl, but we're looking in the wrong direction here page Okay, why is Brad Pitt? Choosing out of all the women in the world to date choosing a girl who is unavailable who's in an open-endation job Is it because he's always done that is it because he went for Angelina Jolie when she when he was married and like what is wrong with Brad Pitt and

Let's dive into Brad's mental state right now. I think it's because he doesn't want something serious and he can't have something serious with this girl, but he can have it to a point. Like this means that they can't get married because she's married.

Right. I mean, and that's illegal. That's polygamy. Also, OK, what does an open marriage mean? Like, is she sleeping with her husband and Brad or is she just sleeping with Brad? Amazing question. Are they using condoms? Right. We need to know these things. No, we also know. Can you be like emotional with these people? Like, clearly she's emotional with what are the rules?

And are people, are there just couples out there that are just having full open relationships and like they're just not talking about it? Is that like the new wave? I do want people to understand it sounds all fun and games to have an open relationship. Until someone gets pregnant. Right?

Yes, but also Paige, it is hard to have one boyfriend. Like one boyfriend, you have to respond to him all the time. You have to take him on walks. You have to make sure he's always like fed or he could get hangry. You have to give him compliments. You have to make him laugh. Imagine doing that for two people. Also, you have to be available like to like be affectionate. No.

no it's exhausting you have to change their hair you have to change their personality you have to change their clothing i don't have time to do that with more than one man i had to redecorate his whole apartment like i don't there's no not enough time in the day for me to have maybe one and a half boyfriends but not two yeah one and a half you could do two is insane like exhausting exhausting because men who like you are needy yeah you can tell when a guy likes you

I know we were just talking about that. I mean, I can't, but I've heard girls out there can. What are we binging page? Okay. This is actually gotten a lot of hate for like so many different reasons, but it's also like you're watching a TV show. Like just chill out. I binge watched Emily in Paris. It wasn't like a good show.

but I loved it. Like, it was good enough that you're like, I need to watch all of these episodes. I finished it in literally two days. Well, the maker of it did Younger and something else, and, like, those shows are so good. But Emily in Paris...

What was the hate about? No, it was the cutest show ever. It was like Gossip Girl mixed with like Sex and the City. And people were like, this is so unrealistic. I'm like, yeah, no shit. She's 22. She moves to Paris. She falls in love with her neighbor who's like hot as fuck. Obviously, it's unrealistic. Like it's on Netflix. And then they were like, she eats a croissant every day and she has a six pack. And I'm like,

Oh my god. Like people were just getting so hyped about it. There were comments saying that like her weight was like abnormally like unhealthy. But I don't know. What did you think? I mean when I was watching it I was like oh damn she has a good body. But I didn't I wasn't like offended by it. You know like I was more looking they wore like such cool clothes and. Also it gets to the point that like if someone is actually sick without

anorexia. Yeah. Like what are you saying? Like they shouldn't get a role on a TV show. Like it's like if someone is overweight being like, oh, they're unhealthy. They shouldn't be on a TV show. Like if she is anorexic, allegedly she's struggling and I wish the best for her. Right. And if she's just fucking genetically skinny, leave her alone. Right. People like if this is actually a really interesting topic that could get like controversial, like

body shaming I think is such a thing but people do it to girls who are really skinny too and can't help it. Do you deal with that? Not really but I used to have a friend in high school who was like a twig like and that's just how she was and people would always say things to her like are you gonna eat like and she's like I mean I eat. I had a girl DM me the other day and was like you should really think about getting a boob job like

your body is actually disgusting. And I just like DM back and I was like, thank you, Jessica. Thank you. She was like, I don't get how any guy would want to sleep with you. And I'm like, thank you, Jessica. Thank you again for that. Needed that.

Hey, Jessica, go fuck yourself. Fuck you, Jessica. Break my friend's heart, I'll break your face. Yeah, but it's like such a thing. I don't know. But I loved the show. Okay. What are you watching? Speaking of unrealistic...

I watched the Dolly Parton documentary. You and your documentaries. Wait, is this better than... Garth Brooks? Yeah. As you guys know, in the Giggler community, I watched Garth Brooks' documentary and everyone gave it a chance and Gigglers love Garth Brooks now. Garth Brooks is our man crush Monday. This Dolly... I love watching documentaries of like female musicians. It gets me like hyped the fuck up. You love documentaries on country people. Like country singers. Yeah. It's like so different than my life. I'm like, wait.

you don't have a 7-eleven you don't go to a bodega you're like is that a horse i'm like it's it's truly it's very interesting to me it's like watching another planet but dolly parton decides she wants to be like a singer now i didn't understand i don't know anything about her i like watching documentaries about people i don't know anything about and then i become obsessed with them yeah so she somehow she's really to my osiris that's all i knew

She apparently is quite gifted at a young age. She gets her little... What is this? Grammy. No. I don't know. Like a little knapsack. A briefcase. How? Out of the hand motion you just did, how was I supposed to guess knapsack? Is that even a word that people use in the 21st century? Like knapsack? I don't think I've ever said knapsack before until this moment. But we get...

She has her little knapsack. She goes to Nashville, Tennessee. She's from Tennessee, but she goes to Nashville, which is where all the music is. She goes to a laundromat and she meets her husband that she's married to for 50 years. The first day she goes to Nashville. The first day I went to college and my parents dropped me off, I went to the wrong apartment complex to go to a party and walked in and there were 10 men just sitting there going, what's up? And I almost got raped. So that's what

I did when I went to my first different place when I was younger. This bitch walks into the laundromat and he's gorgeous, like tall, beautiful. Then he said apparently he was driving, saw some girl outside the laundromat with like crazy curves.

And was like, I just met my wife. Walked in. And they've been together for 50 years. She keeps him out of the public eye. People like don't even know who he is. Wait, I'm obsessed with this. People literally. What did you watch it on? I need to watch it tonight. It's on Netflix. Okay. I think it's on Netflix. Yeah. And they were talking about. They're talking to all her band members. And they go, we've never met her husband. But they live like the happiest life together. Stop. And no one knows him. Stop. And then she goes on. She wrote.

Like so many incredible songs. She wrote the song for Whitney Houston. I will always love you. Stop. She wrote I will always love you. Elvis tried to buy it from her and she was like no I need to own the copyright to this and people are like this is Elvis fucking Presley. You give that song to him. You take that money and she goes no. 20 years later Whitney Houston buys it for that movie and she's like a multi multi multi millionaire. Also this bitch she only wears wigs.

I want to start. You have to watch it. No, I love her now. And she literally has so much money, but she never wants to stop touring. But then something happened where she stopped being as popular and she was doing like smaller venues. And then she got a new manager. And then now she's like blowing up again. And she just is on the grind. Good for her. We love Dolly. I have to go because I have to go to the laundromat right now.

I think we're going to wrap up with a fashion segment. I love this for us. Okay. So I did a lot of research on fall fashion. But I need to go to the source to say like what society is telling us to wear and what Paige DeSorbo thinks is actually stylish. Okay. So it's called Stop or Hot. Okay. I love this. Okay. Prep school argyle print.

Hot. I'm obsessed. There's a way that you can do it. Okay, so one of my girlfriends, like, I kept making fun of her the one night because I was like, you are late for homeroom. What is this outfit? And then I, like, looked at her and I was like, no, you look so chic. Like, schoolgirl skirts with, like, a vest that's argyle, you can do it in a cool way with, like, a chunky, like,

shoe like a doc martin type boot it's like risky some girls don't like it but if you want to commit to the fashion trend and you're dressing for yourself not for guys because guys are gonna be like what the fuck is she wearing but but it is good no i love it topic it is i love it guys will be like what are you are you going to college yeah and you're like okay we don't care about what they think yes i love that trend so hot um fringe everywhere

I'm not a fringe girl. I'm just not. I don't know. It's very like Southern kind of to me and like rock star ish. Like I don't love fringe on a leather jacket. Yeah, I don't know. It's just I know it's a big trend and some people can pull it off and make it look cool. It's not my personal vibe. OK, so stop. Stop.

Everyday lingerie like corsets or like little bra things underneath like a blazer or like with jeans. So hot. Love it. Like a bralette with an oversized blazer and like a high-waisted jean. So hot. So hot. So it's not like too sexy? I mean, what is too sexy? Okay.

Like a corset top with jeans and sneakers is actually so cool. Okay, this is a double question. Are oversized blazers still in and should people try the cropped blazer? Okay, oversized blazers are here to stay and the cropped blazer, a thousand percent. The style is really...

Almost like an 80s style is coming back, like 80s style sneakers, like those Reeboks. Big shoulder pads. Shoulder pads. I think it's a power move. It is. It really is a power move and it makes you feel like you can fire everyone in the restaurant if you wanted to. Thousand percent. Oversized blazers. Obsessed. Okay, what do you feel about shearling?

Um, it has to be done right. Like it was big last season. Yeah. I feel like it's never jackets. It's never fully out and it's never like fully, fully in. I don't know. No, you're not obsessed with it. Is it too like vintage for you? I'm not obsessed with it. But if it's inside like a leather jacket and it's just like on the collar and the sleeve, then I'll do it.

Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Sometimes sleeping next to your boyfriend or girlfriend is the most amazing experience ever. It's so lovely to watch them be so peaceful, except when they're snoring so loud. And I think to myself, how are you even sleeping because you're ruining my day?

And then I think to myself, obviously you're on a Mattress Firm mattress, which can truly make anyone sleep like an actual baby. Mattress Firm offers a 120 night sleep trial. So you can rest easy with Mattress Firm for 120 nights. And if you don't love it, you can get your money back.

I upgraded to a mattress for a mattress this year and truly my sleep has never been better. I've created an entire sanctuary right in my bed and everyone should be sleeping like me and Craig who snores. So text Giggly Squad to 766693 for an extra 20% off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Exclusions apply. Get matched at Mattress Firm's best sale of the year, the Labor Day sale and sleep at night.

There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

And it seems like you don't keep track from the ones from last year, so you have to rebuy. But don't stress about the cost. Use Ibotta and get cash back on all of your purchases when you stock up on all of your summer essentials. You can save on over 2,400 brands and shop at over 1,000 retailers, including your favorite grocery stores, Lowe's, Macy's, Sephora, Best Buy, and more.

The average Ibotta user earns $256 per year. That could cover the cost of an entire shopping trip. Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using code GIGGLY when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play Store and download free Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code GIGGLY. That's I-B-O-T-T-A in the Google Play or App Store and use code GIGGLY.

There are 365 days a year which means there are 365 days where you might need to buy someone a birthday present. I absolutely love giving the perfect gift to the perfect person. So why not simplify the process with Aura Digital Picture Frame? Ranked the number one digital picture frame by Wirecutter, Aura frames are easy to set up, update and enjoy.

You can even preload with photos and gift messages. So whether you're giving the frame to your best friend, your dad, or your Aunt Susan, you can be sure your gift is personalized just for them. I have gifted Aura Frames actually to Craig's family before because it truly is the perfect gift. And to always be like uploading, changing pictures, it's like a new picture frame every day. Every Aura Frame comes with unlimited storage so you can preload the frame with as many photos as you want.

All you need is the Aura app and a Wi-Fi connection. Right now, Aura is having their very first friends and family sale, and we've got an exclusive offer just for gigglers. For a limited time only, you can get $35 off their best-selling frame by visiting auraframes.com and using promo code GIGGLY at checkout. That's A-U-R-A frames dot com, promo code GIGGLY. This is the best offer of the season, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply.

This podcast is brought to you by eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Why doesn't eHarmony allow copy and paste in first messages? Because you are unique and your conversations should reflect that.

eHarmony wants you to find someone who will get you. How are you going to know who gets you? If people send you the same generic conversation starters, they message everyone else. Conversations that actually help you get to know each other. Imagine that. Get who gets you on eHarmony. Sign up today. Okay, bows everywhere. You have to be in the right outfit.

But I do love the bow trend. I think it's very cute. And like there's like an Audrey Hepburn vibe to it. Like if you're in an all black outfit, black turtleneck and you have like a black bow in with like your low bun, you're like you're chic. You're French. I love a French aesthetic. Yes. Baby doll dresses. Love always forever.

See, this is the thing. I think with your body type, obsessed. My body type, I'm pear. So if I don't show my waist, it looks like I'm pregnant in a baby doll dress because my thighs are thick. T-H-I-C-C. So I personally don't like the baby doll, but I wish I could wear it because I feel like I could be bloated all the time and no one would know. You can wear it. There's actually a dress on Amazon I'm going to send to you because I just want to see...

You can also wear a baby doll that's like almost like a smock type vibe. You don't have to do baby doll like Ariana Grande does baby doll. Yeah. So there's like different types. And with like a chunky boot, like a combat boot is cool for the fall. What kind of boots do you recommend for fall? Okay, so I'm actually doing a fashion article this week and that's my topic. Like the five shoes that you need for

for the fall yes there's two different types of combat boots that you need okay

Like a higher one that goes like mid-calf and then like a lower one. And do they have like a heel? Yeah, it has like a chunky heel. Yeah. But it's flat, so you can like walk around. You need a white sneaker. I love an Air Force One right now. You need like a cool... Dad sneakers I think are still kind of in, but like a plain white sneaker. You also like a white sneaker with like a little sock showing. I love...

Love that trend. Is that a guy's sock? Like you go on Amazon? No, I ended up. So when the trend first came out, I was in quarantine. I was like, dad, I need your socks for a second. But now I've purchased my own. Yeah, they're just like it's very like 70s. And I think it just looks cool with like sweatpants and your sweats are like pulled up a little. I love that trend. And then you need a below the knee heeled boot.

Very chic with like a skirt or shorts. Do you wait? Did you say above the knee also? You I mean, you always need an above the knee. You always need to high high. But the trend right now that's like really big is like stops right below your knee. And it's like leather. Yeah, leather. Oh, my God. I can't wait for the article. Yeah. Where is that article going to be? So all my articles are on in the know. It's like Verizon's media company. And then they're in my highlights always on my Instagram.

amazing yeah we're going to wrap this episode up because it's been an hour oh my god i always want to do an episode i mean a question from pep talk time love this this is my favorite time first i just want to do a question that someone asked they said how do i stop being a dumb bitch which we will delve into in every episode of giggly squad because that's kind of our overall theme when we figure it out we'll let you know

Okay, more specifically, how do I deal with being in a friend group where one of the friends drives you nuts? We all have it. We all have it. We may be it. They used to call that girl Karen. Yeah. Remember? It used to be like everyone has a Karen in the group. But then Karen got angry and started yelling at people. Wasn't that from like a stand-up or something? Yeah.

where that might have been. I don't even know where it originated, but it's true. Every group has a Karen, but I think that Karen low key is the glue of the group because whatever happens in the group, they could always bond and be like, but how was Karen today? Yeah. Like what crazy shit did that bitch do? Or it bonds you when you're like, fucking, I can't with this girl. And you and your friends get closer. Yeah. My biggest piece of advice is get

one person in the group don't make it like a whole thing against this one person but get one person that you can communicate with your eyes when that person like says that thing that pisses you off or like

does that thing that's so fucking annoying so you could just look at them feel like your feelings are valid and then continue there's also a difference between like is she like doing malicious things in your friend group then cut her out get her out have a conversation just be like we don't fuck with you anymore yeah or is she just annoying because if she's just annoying

Just limit your time, you know? If she's just annoying, I do... I used to be, like, so nice to anyone in my friend group, even if they were, like, so fucking annoying. But I realized...

it's like operant conditioning when they're not annoying be cool with them and when they are annoying don't just continue being super nice because you feel bad right because hopefully they'll learn like oh hannah doesn't like that not being mean but just like don't respond to a text when they're annoying yeah like small doses yes you have to be

open with your friends about what annoys you because if you ignore it the next thing you know you will have an explosive moment that you will not be proud of yeah i think that was good advice yeah um to watch the video go to our patreon.com slash giggly squad join our facebook group because i want to hear all the feedback on this episode if you're not subscribed if you haven't rated and reviewed what are you doing what are you doing

If you have advice for rings I should send Des, let me know. Just kidding. I can't tell if we're joking or not anymore. If you have feedback for Paige's fashion advice, we'd love to hear it. Follow us on Instagram. If you have a single friend or brother, also let me know. So all we have to say is thanks for giggling with us. Oh my God, I love you so much. Oh, we're so cute. I love you. And we'll see you guys next Monday. Bye. Bye.