Giggling about poo poo heads, squirting, and anti-self help
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I mean the day just got away from me. What's up my glacial gigglers? You're so freaking cool. Um, okay, okay. Yeah, it wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. I liked it. Why do I feel like we haven't recorded in years? No, I feel like we haven't done Giggly Squad in so long. What did we do last week? We were like blackout on tour. Where did we record? San Diego? San Diego?

No. Wait, I literally don't remember the last episode of Giggly Squad. We were not there mentally or physically. I think I should go see a doctor. I feel like I... No, I'm not kidding. I actually feel like I have... PTSD. PTSD.

All of those things plus like early onset dementia. What's your name again? What is my name again? The other day, no, this is actually really crazy. I legitimately forgot my address. Were you under a pressure situation? Nope. I was online shopping. I was like, yo, what the fuck is my zip code? And I had to Google my address. I was having like a real...

No, I don't know what was going on. Maybe you're like blocking so many things out that sometimes your brain's accidentally blocking out the important things. See, I'll crack under pressure if I'm getting ID'd and someone's like, what's your address? I'll be like, I don't know. Wait, what do you have if you don't have a driver's license? You just have like an identification. Oh.

But I have an identification card. Oh, thanks for bringing that up. I was just wondering. Thanks for bringing that up. That's like the one thing my dad still isn't proud of me about. He's like, did you get a driver's license yet? You're going to grow up. And I'm like, no. You don't really need one, though. You're a true New Yorker.

Look, it's bad for my brand to get a driver's license. I'm going to be honest. I don't care when you get it, if you ever get it. I'll never get in the car with you driving anyway. So it doesn't really even matter. That's what I said. Like if there's a car and someone has to drive, my first thought certainly is not you. Like I could literally have no legs and I'd be like, I'll drive. Pull. Wait, it's because of my ADHD? Yeah.

No, you've never, you don't drive. Yeah, like you think if you don't start when you're young, it's kind of like never gonna. It's like skiing. Like you'll never be able to go on the LIE, but you might be able to drive like down side streets. We're never going on a black diamond. We enjoy a green. This is a ski podcast, just in case you guys forgot. I don't care if it got sunny out. Also, I walked in and Paige said she loved my hair.

Which she never compliments my hair and it's so funny because I woke up and my hair because I showered last night and my hair was just like weirdly curly. Yeah. And I looked at it a little too long and I was like, wait, she's perfect. You're giving. So I literally woke up like this. I'm going to give you the biggest compliment ever. Cindy Crawford. You're giving Emma Chamberlain like vibes. Who's Emma Chamberlain again? Okay, Hannah. Oh, yes. Emma Chamberlain.

You're giving Emma Chamberlain vibes. Oh, the energy. Yeah. Because she has short hair. She has short hair. But like energy wise, like I just feel like that could be like a Miu Miu top that we don't know about. It's actually vintage. It has a hole in it. It's adorable. It has a hole in it. So I got like the scalp. But I have to tell you this too. In my like recent like not having memories, I had a revelation when I was home on why I don't like blondes.

Blonde women or blonde men? Both. Okay, because I have one girlfriend who...

honestly gorgeous brunette gorgeous blonde don't know what she is naturally i want to say she's like a little bit more of like a lighter brown but like when she dyes her hair brown she's stunning but when she dyes her hair blonde also stunning yeah so i'd commented on her instagram annoying yeah i'd commented on her instagram like oh my god i love when you're brunette but like i also love when you're blonde and she was like coming from the blonde hater herself and i was like

Oh my god, I am such a blonde hater. But I realized the childhood trauma in which I dislike blondes. What happened? When I was younger, my dad owned a car wash. Is that a hair bleaching company? Yeah.

Owned a car wash, and I can remember pulling into the car wash with my mom. I'm sitting in the back seat. My mom's driving. There's a car in front of us. There's a mom driving that car and a little girl sitting in that back seat with blonde hair. I saw my dad take a handful of, like, gum, like those little, like, bubble, like, that you'd get at, like, a baseball park. Yes. Open the back door and give them to the little girl. And I was...

to my core. I literally said to my mom, who is that? Who is that girl? And she, my mom's like, oh, I don't know. I said, oh, I had no, I was so frustrated at this tender age of like four that I didn't know words. Like, cause I know that I wanted to call her a name cause I was so fucking pissed. And that was the first time you realized you're a psycho ex-girlfriend. I named her a Bumba head. What's a Bumba head? I don't know. I made it up. Oh, what a Bumba head.

And so from then on, my parents referred to blonde girls as bomba heads. And I forgot that I had that core memory. Also, the thing is, a lot of blondes are brunettes who just dyed their hair like bottle blondes. How do you feel about bottle blondes? Love them. I love them. It's a natural born blonde with blonde eyebrows. I don't trust them. OK. OK, so 50 percent of our audience has just unsubscribed.

Thank you. Good morning. I'm sure you're lovely, but I let you around my boyfriend? No fucking way. See, I feel like if I was going to have a threesome, I'd want a blonde. Same.

Think I want some bitch looking just like me? Wait, can I get, like, dirty right now? Yeah. For the male producer, just hold on. For the moms listening, pause. For my nan and papa listening, do not listen to this part. I was thinking about porn. Yeah. Because, again, I'm working on this, like, what porn do I choose to watch with my significant other? Okay. And I realized...

it's hard because I think men are trash. Yes. And like, I told you men, you can tell they just want to see the like, they want to see the action. They want to see the story. Yeah. I want, and I'm very in tune. Like, is she comfortable? Right. Is he annoying her? Yep. Like why does she actually really like that? Does she like that? Exactly. And that's why I kind of like squirting videos. Not that they took an interesting turn. Not that they took an interesting turn.

I know they can fake it. Can they, though? But part of me is like, I like a squirting video because I'm like, at least something really happened where she might have enjoyed something. Right. And then I was like, why am I so obsessed with a girl feeling good? Yeah. But then I realized guys come when they see the other guy come. Yeah, because they feel like it's them. I guess. Yeah. So it's like we're more the same than different. But I'm not attracted to the men in porn. Me neither. They're...

butt ugly sometimes and then when they talk yeah I'm like stop moving your mouth I get this is gonna be probably our weirdest text exchange that we'll ever have but I feel like I know what you would like I'm gonna start sending you things like hey give this a try wait that would actually be so helpful so last night I was trying to do it are you really friends if you don't send each other porn that you think the other would get on to I've already sent you nudes like this is way less than me sending you a nude

Or me accidentally sexting you and getting in trouble with HR because our assistant was on it also, and she's still in therapy for that. So I was with my husband, and he was like, yeah, search something. And I immediately panicked, and I just searched sex. What, you just went into Google? You didn't even go to a porn site? No, I was on Pornhub, and I searched sex.

That is... Here's the one thing. I never pick it. I never pick the video when I'm with Craig because that's too much pressure for me. See, that was happening to me. I had to pick it. And then I realized, like, I want a girl who, like, looks like me. It's a catch-22. It's a very catch-22. No one talks about it. Because the girl needs to be hot enough that I'm into it. Yeah. But then not so hot that he's too into it. I will say, I think watching porn with your significant other is...

a higher level of intimacy. Oh, so I wanted to bring up just one Vanderpump moment. Yes. When James said poo-poo head. Yeah. Like, I feel like we work on, especially reality TV, like you want those clever, funny one-liners. He says poo-poo head. If he was American and someone said poo-poo head, you're like,

Okay. But because he said poo-poo head, it was like hilarious. People love it. People love it. If I said poo-poo head. I was like, hmm. My friend writes jokes for hours and hours to get even an ounce of recognition. And this straight white man said poo-poo head. And we're all like, he is a voice of our generation comedically. If you have a British accent, everything sounds like witty. Will Ferrell was shaking at home. Who?

He was like, I'm done. My career is over. I can't wait, girl. I cannot wait in 30 years when someone says, we're doing a documentary on reality TV. You got anything? Sign me the fuck up. Literally sign me up. Well, there's a writer's strike right now, so it's like what people have. But I do think there is going to be...

People are gonna look back at how certain people were treated and be like, "That was bad." - Yeah. - "That was really bad." - 'Cause even now, I feel like on TikTok, I get a lot of old reality TV clips and I'm like, "That's horrible." How were people on this girl's side? She's a monster. - Well also back then, at least people were like, "You got famous." But nowadays, everyone could get famous from TikTok, so it's like, why have your character assassinated on a TV show when you could just post dance videos?

I think psychologists came up with it because they wanted more therapy work. My therapist is thrilled that I'm on reality TV. She's been retained for the next 20 years. She's on a retainer? Literally. An emergency retainer? I'm like, Maria? Get it together. I've been very anti-self-help. In what? What do you mean? It's my new thing. I feel like the self-help world is very periodic.

pyramid scheming yeah where if you're always telling especially women like you have to get better you have to change like your current state is not good enough yeah it's not healthy like when you when you see your friend and she's like well I'm on this diet and I'm starting this workout and I'm doing this thing and you're like whoa whoa whoa yeah it's too much it's more working on like being content where you are like I think that's the work yeah

Because I could always find something wrong with me that I need to work on. I could list it in alphabetical order. Literally, what's wrong with me? You're on your shit today. Thank you so much. No, I actually totally agree. I think one of the biggest things I've learned in therapy is

in terms of like self-help is like, you're supposed to feel every single feeling. Like there are days where you are supposed to be depressed. There are days where you're supposed to be sad. Yeah. It's literally just being a human. And I think sometimes self-help people and like on Instagram and Tik TOK are like, just do this and just do that. And it's like, okay, but there are days that,

You should feel these feelings and sit in them. The biggest feeling that I hate the most is being frustrated. When you can't prove your point or you can't tell the truth. People are seeing things in a different way. That feeling of you want to just fucking break something. Punch a wall. I think my biggest...

in therapy is like being like, okay, I'm frustrated. And to just feel it. And like, I'm frustrated. I'm not going to feel frustrated for a while. And your feelings are valid. Yep. This is a normal thing to be feeling frustrated about. Chalk it up to she's a fucking cunt and move on. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Why you just dropped the C word. Yeah. If James can say poo-poo head, I can say cunt. Don't steal our jargon and we won't steal yours. Wait. But hey,

I saw you did a video with that caption. One thing I want to go back to for the sex thing. Oh, yeah, sorry. Because I have a very funny story and I feel like girls will relate. So one thing about long distance that honestly you would love. You can eat Mexican food all the time. All the time. And you don't have to worry about like blowing up the bathroom like when he's there, whatever.

I don't have to shave every single day. Like I don't have to be clean every single day. I don't have to be like a perfect little Barbie doll that like they want to have sex with every single day, which I enjoy. But on the days that like I know I'm going to see my boyfriend, I haven't seen him in like a week. You take like a full girl shower. Yes.

So Craig and I were somewhere and... Where were we? I can't even remember now. It's unimportant. We're somewhere and he was like, let's like have sex. And I was like, let's wait till we get home. I'm like so gross. And like, I just feel sweaty. I know like my underarms smell. Like, let me do like a full shower and then I'm...

Literally, I'm all yours. I need a four-hour shower, and then I'm all yours. No, I'm not kidding. I literally went into the bathroom at, like, 7 p.m., and I was, like, taking my time. Like, I was doing skincare. I was exfoliating. Like, I was just doing all the things. You're pulling out ingrowns. I'm just, like, having a day in there. I get out of the shower. I'm like, I want to put something, like, sexy on, but I don't want it to look like I'm not putting, like, lingerie on. Like, let's grow up.

But I'm not putting on, like, my normal Tommy John, like, joggers and, like, matching Henley. An old t-shirt with spaghetti stains on it. So I put on, like, a big t-shirt. And then I have these. It's the brand Tommy John. And they are the only pajamas that I wear. I fucking love them. How'd you find them? I literally found them, like, years ago. I feel like it was, like, during COVID. Because I know what you're talking about. They're so cute. No, they're so fucking comfortable. It's like boxer briefs for women. Basically. Yeah.

So they make these one like boxer briefs that are just like so comfortable, but they're like cute. They're like cute, like short little shorts, but they're underwear. But it's not like, oh, my God, she's in like a G-string. So I put these underwear on. I go out to the couch. Nothing's really happening. Whatever. Craig and I go to bed. He's on his phone. We're like watching TV.

nothing's really happening and I'm like pardon like what's going on I am bad at initiating I don't feel like I should have to initiate equal amount of times that he does so I think that he should initiate more so I'm laying there I'm full on dead fish there and I'm like well I'm not like gonna grab him your legs are spread open but you're just lying no literally I'm like what's happening like Netflix is on this is the time like let's do this

And so then finally, like, we both are, like, getting awkward. And I look at him and I'm like, do you not want to have sex? Like, what's going on? And he goes, well, I thought you didn't want to have sex. And I was like, I literally said I'm going to shower and, like, do all these things for you. Like, what are you talking about? And he goes, well, you put your medicine underwear on. And I was like...

First of all, your nails look amazing. Medicine underwear. I go, let's back it up. First of all, what is medicine underwear? And he goes, well, last time you wore those underwear, like, you had... I think I had a yeast infection. And I, like, had medicine in, and I was like...

don't touch me like and then i put those underwear on because they're comfortable you're not gonna wear a thong right after putting on yeast infection and he was like well i just figured like something happened in there and like you had to put medicine on and like then you put those shorts on like we couldn't do it he's such a dude where like he's so scared of like getting things wrong with women that he just is like i'd rather not i'd rather not even ask so if you're ever in a

predicament and you don't want to have sex with a man put on something that looks like medicine underwear medicine underwear so how'd you where'd you go from that we had sex yeah when you say initiate because i think yeah we got some questions on the gig sweat tour about like initiating sex is it mostly verbal like will someone be like do you want to have sex or does it just start with like kissing i can never be verbal about it because i also feel like saying like

hey do you want to have sex takes away the whole it almost now it feels like okay this is on my to-do list but like if you weren't long distance and you're just living with each other every day yeah there's never gonna be a moment no you have to make the moment you have to you have to literally be like do you want to fuck yeah i feel like i just like grab a stick yeah so you're initiating this whole time you've been initiating i'm just like oh my god sometimes

You just graze it. You keep grazing it. I feel so bad sometimes because they literally do treat Craig like he's a preschooler. Like, okay, if he's like trying to talk to me, I'll be like, mommy's working. Mommy's working. But like, if I want to like have sex, I'm like, oh my God, it's so big. What happened? Oh my God. You know, like it's literally like, he's like, do you think so? Do you really think so? You have so much power. That is so fucked up.

You have to trick them. I feel like dating is all about just who's better at trickery. See, I'm dating like a man, a very smart man. And it's it kind of sucks because he is smarter than me. Yeah. But I do have to say last night we went to dinner, which was crazy. Crazy. We haven't been out. It's for an anniversary. Oh, yeah. He was like, we should go to dinner. So go to dinner. And obviously, like, I ate my face off. Yeah. We're going out to a nice dinner. Yeah. And we get back and I'm lying down and he's like.

we should probably have sex. Yeah. And I looked at him and I was like, I just had like duck breasts. Oh my God. Was it good? It was so good. But like duck, I had flan. It was one of those like tapas places where like I had so many mixtures of ingredients and I wasn't feeling like light as a feather. Yeah. And I was like, kind of rejected him. Yeah. But it was cause I was in a food coma. Right. Somehow. Okay. An hour or two later, we ended up doing it. Yep. And I farted.

Whilst? Whilst? But we had this moment. He was like, was that vaginal or from your butt? And I was like, ask. You know it was from my butt. Just picturing Des say the words, was that vaginal? Has made my day. Don't say the word vaginal to me. No, I don't.

But it was like, we had that moment where it's a split second. Like the whole night could be ruined or we can continue having fun. It's make or break. Make or break. So I just started laughing. I was like, obviously it wasn't vaginal. And then he just like was still waiting. And I'm like, oh, he just wants me to say vaginal. Yeah. So I look back and I was like, what do you want me to say? And he was just laughing and I was like, vaginal. And then we just continued laughing.

This is what happens when you make me have sex after a five course tapas dinner. No, you have a sensitive tummy and people need to be aware. And like it wasn't a gross one but like I

No, you were gassy. You get a lot of air inside of you. If I'm not farting during sex, I'm too focused. You're nervous. You're literally like Kourtney Kardashian. You're like, at my skinniest, I was miserable. You're like, if I'm not farting during sex, I don't love you. Because the only way to orgasm is to really free and loosen your body. No, it's so true. I can't have an orgasm while also holding in massive amounts of air that are just trying to come out. And more things. Yep.

you can start listening again you can turn it back on oh I had a humbling moment oh I love those I was in Soho yep everyone was so stylish and I was feeling myself I was like I'm in Soho too yeah I'm one of the girlies and I see this girl and she looks fucking sick and I was like with who was I with I was with my video video guy yeah and like I don't in New York you don't just like do that yeah but in my head I was like

I'm gonna make this girl's day. Yeah. Because she looks amazing in this outfit. And someone needs to tell her. And we're just in the street, which is kind of creepy of me, but I was like, I like her skirt. She just keeps walking past me. She definitely had like her AirPods in. And then I just pretended that I was talking to myself. Was any of this caught on film?

I don't even I think he might have seen it but I went to he acknowledge it no I went from feeling so fucking cool and nice yeah to feeling so fucking dumb and powerless she didn't even flinch I was like your skirts really and then I was like this is why I don't belong in Soho I was the girl you were the finger so weird

Wait, did you see the front page news story about Megan Fox saying she's never liked her body? What do you think about that? First of all, I didn't.

See that. Second of all, getting a lot of mixed emotions. Justice for models, first off. Justice for models. I do like that people are being honest. You know, I love people who you look up to being like, look, it's not what you think it is. Right. What was, what is she upset about with her body? She was just saying like, she can get so many compliments on like, she looks so good and blah, blah, blah. But she said never once in her life has she felt like, I love my body. Isn't that crazy? It's fucking dark. It's dark. It's dark.

I guess it's hard when other people are telling you what your body is and you maybe didn't have the time to like it on your own. Or if you feel like it changes from anything it used to be, then it's not. I just feel like... You know you have days where you do your makeup or you do your...

What just happened? Your side stroke. Do your hair and your look in the mirror and be like, that's not me. Like, I don't look like myself today or something. Yeah, every day. Now I feel like I'm just going to be like, whatever. Megan Fox hates her body. So it's all uphill. Well, that's why I talk about plastic surgery. I'm like, clearly these people didn't like how they looked. Speaking of.

I emailed someone about us getting Botox and they sent me dates and times to see what works for us. I literally felt like such a little kid. How'd you find this person? It's my dermatologist, but I emailed like the girl that sets up the appointments and I was like, hey, like I would really love to like get Botox. But also like my friend wants to come to it. Like I felt like such a little kid. So what happened in your life that you were like, it's time? I don't know.

My dad screamed at me this... Well, I was home, obviously, for Mother's Day weekend. I said to my mom, like, I think I'm going to get Botox. And she looked at me and said, yeah, I got it. And I was like...

Okay. Thank you so much. Did you have ideas on where I should get it? Oh, just Botox. I have some notes. If you need it, I have notes. Otherwise, Botox is a great start. And then I sent it to my dad and he was like, you need that. Okay. Classic dad. Classic dad. You could get a whole new face and he'll be like, wow, you look really pretty today. He would never know if you got Botox. Never know. My dad gets mad if I wear red lipstick. That's an interesting choice. He's like, you look like a clown. Yeah.

I feel like I've never seen you in red lipstick. Yeah, because my dad. Traumatized me. My dad and Des, they're always like, well, I like you without makeup. Wait, I have had plenty of men say men don't like red lipstick. Yeah. Which is interesting. But it's like, I don't know, because I think logically it's like if they kiss you, it's a mess. Do you like red lipstick? Yeah.

Yeah. You like the way it looks. Yeah. I like the way it looks sometimes, too, in their defense. Not that I come to the men's defense often, but in their defense, it is messy. Yes. And if I, like, do one, like, scratch on my lip and it, like, moves. It's over. I look like Miranda. You know that Miranda YouTuber? Miranda Cosgrove? No.

That was a niche reference. She puts like lipstick all over her face. I don't know, but it's hard. That must miss me on my algorithm. Yeah, it's not on your algorithm for sure. So yeah, we're going to get... What kind of Botox do you want? Oh, you haven't thought about it. I have. What...

Whatever he tells me what happens because I've had like consultations before it yeah, I'm supposed to like talk about Botox And they have you move your face yeah, maybe smile, and then they show you all the movement And they go we could take that away. We could take that away I don't I think it's weird if you take the creases by your eyes away because then it means when I smile I'm like, but that's actually exactly where I want it I would hate the creases on my eyes, and I have and I hate like in between my eyebrows So how are you gonna look angry?

They'll know. Sicilian shit you've ever said in your life. They'll fucking know. They'll fucking know. Oh my God. The first time we went to Italy with my family, one of our drivers asked my dad, like, what were we like? Where in Italy were we from? And he was like, well, my wife's like 100% Sicilian. And the guy literally did the sign of the cross and said, I'll pray for you.

And I loved it. I loved every moment of it. Because I was like, that's so true. She's a psycho ass bitch. And I am so happy I take after her. It's gorgeous in Sicily. Stunning. I mean, have you seen White Lotus? Sicily's popping right now. I think the mafia was really strong in Sicily, too. Good for them. Who knows? But at least we prayed.

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

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Um, I also had a really bad Uber Eats fail the other day. What was that? I was really starving and I ordered an Italian sub, speaking of Italians, obviously, and a pickle, obviously, on the side, and a drink. Mm-hmm.

And I was so fucking hungry. And I was like, put it in. And I'm like, you know, and you're just watching the driver. And he's like making turns you don't approve of. Yeah. What's over there? What's going on over there? It says I was up first priority, but. I pressed priority and he's going backwards. That's fine. From the looks of it, you went home. And then you're like trying to distract yourself. Yeah. But just keep checking it. And then the best is when it's like one minute away. And I'm like, this minute's been taking 10 minutes. Yeah. So it finally comes. And I'm like, ha. And I go to open it up. Wrong sub. It's a pickle. Oh.

and a drink no and i'd forgotten like i picked the sandwich no i started crying no that's so fucking but then i started dying laughing all i ordered was a pick and then i was like what did these people think yeah they're like this girl's weird this girl's she could have gotten a pickle from des was like they should have called you i'm like there's weird people in new york just ordering pickles around here like i could see it happen but like i remember when i first picked up the bag i'm like there's something wrong with this order and all i had was a fucking reorder it i reordered just a sub

And it came pretty fast. But it's just one of those, you mentioned frustration. Yeah. It's the little things. It's the small things. And you can put all your anxiety into that sandwich in that moment. It'll set you right over the fucking edge. So I broke emotionally and physically that day. But now I'm back. We both have green nails. We both have green nails. I love that you went chrome. Yeah.

So I was at the nail salon and I asked for just a regular French. I was like, I'm feeling classic. And the lady straight up said no. Again. How is this always happening to you? Every time I say I like your nails, you're like, well, I wanted orange. Literally go. I want to go back to French. Like I thought it was like, let's go back to the class. Yeah. I love white at the end. I think it's so pretty. Yeah.

But I, for whatever reason, I've been getting gel for like way too many times and my nails are just like abused. Like there's just like all these white spots on them. Does that mean I'm low on calcium too?

Who knows? Add it to the list. But there's just white spots all over my nails. And the lady was like, no. And I was like, can we just put tan underneath, not the clear? And she's like, no. It'll come through. You'll see it. It'll look fucking weird. You could have done like a pink underneath. That's what I said. And she was just like, no. She didn't want to deal with it. You want to know what? I think they're like, I don't want to deal with doing this knowing you're going to hate it and then I might possibly have to redo it. Which I get. First of all, I would never.

would never make you redo my nails. Yeah, they don't know that though. They don't know. I'm like, you could literally. You got poop nails and like. Poo poo nails. They're gorgeous. So then I had to like, she was like, pick another color. And then I wasn't prepared for this because you come in with an energy. I'm like, I'm a French nail girl.

No one talks about when you're sitting in the chair and you're like, oh, actually, I'm going to do a different color. And then they bring you the colors like you can't get up and like go back to the board to look like bring you what you said. And then you're like, uh, uh, you know, the next three weeks you could potentially be in the wrong energy.

Yes. But I was like, okay, you can't go wrong with green. And then let's put some chrome on it to be fun. Yep. And this is like an emerald. I love that. And yours look good too. Thank you. Mine are like a sea foam. But I'm going to be honest. I was over it like the second day. See, I like the darker green. Yeah. I think I'm going to go back to like my normal pink.

That lasted all of seven seconds. Wait, not to bring up like reality TV again, but they're doing like a whole special on Randall. Is that crazy? I mean, it is perfect timing because everyone cares so much about Vanderpump right now. But it also potentially like with Lala, I feel like people are going to feel so horrible, but then also be like.

This guy's been hurting women and cheating on women for a long time. Yeah. He seems like a monster. What do you think about reports are saying that Kim Kardashian and Tom Brady could potentially be an item? People are really hating on it. That is so Kim. Kim loves, like, the most powerful it guy of the moment. I was actually texting Craig about it because...

she's like potentially buying a house in the Bahamas, like where his house is. And Craig and I have gone to that Island before. And like, we were in the house next to them. And like, I saw Giselle, like walking around the pool in her bathing suit, stunning, gorgeous. Um,

So I was like, oh, my God, Kim's, like, buying a house in the Bahamas, like, right where we stayed. And he was like, that's, like, so crazy. I wonder if she's going to have, like, all the security and blah, blah, blah. Because it's a pretty, like, chill island. Yeah. And I was like, I have loved Kimberly since the moment I met her on my television. And I will never not love her. Same. And that's just, like, I don't care if...

And people are like, oh, my God, she shouldn't be dating Tom Brady. Like, Tom, run. Shut the fuck up. Tom, run. Yeah, Tom doesn't seem like a bowl of peaches to me. No, I was more upset that, like, why are we choosing Tom? Like, he just retired. He's going to deal with all these, like, identity issues because who is he without football? He also just got divorced. He's, like, fighting for his life and his family. Yeah. It's not ideal. He's definitely on Ozempic and no one's talking about it.

You know? I mean, I do think they both have great work ethics, whatever. I just think the second she, like, finds, like, a really wealthy, like, successful older businessman, I'll be like, oh, that's it. Yeah, I want her to, like, Sophia Richie it. Like, that's when I know she's found her man. Yeah. But, like, Tom Brady, that's PR. Like, you don't fall in love with Tom Brady. I guess she was seen on his golf cart. Yeah.

Which is just some rich people shit, you know? Like, on the golf course or just, like, a golf cart running around the island? Going around the island, like, looking to buy a potential home. That's how rich celebrities flirt. They just buy a mansion next to the other person's mansion. No, I was just thinking that. They're like, hey, neighbor! Like, I wonder if he was like, oh, my God, come stay at my house in the Bahamas, like, for the weekend. She was like, fuck you, I'll buy my own house. Yeah, or she, like, we go, like, window shopping where, like, they literally go house shopping on a date. Yeah.

Adorable. But that's why her dating pool is so small, which is actually kind of sad. Very sad. I feel like people don't think like,

I feel like people think, oh, she's so famous she could get anyone she wants. But, like, she actually can't date anyone she wants. No. There's probably so many guys that she would have been great for if she wasn't famous that they would have connected and fell in love. But because there's so many complications with fame and money, it won't work out. I wonder if she makes people that she dates sign NDAs. For sure. For sure. I would love...

To be on a first date and just like slide a piece of paper and be like, before we go any further, I'm going to need you to sign this. It's so funny though too, because if someone made me sign an NDA, I'd be like, what the fuck is about to go down? Yeah. Like this is going to be crazy. I feel like there have been random work things where I've been asked to sign an NDA and I'm like, fuck yeah. But like also I'm never in my mind in my like, I'm not going to talk about this.

Like I'm gonna talk about it Like I'm not gonna tell my mom Yeah like My mom's literally on the line right now on speaker Does an NDA work if you've already told everyone? What are the logistics on that? If you're live streaming it does it count? Yeah Is this a violation? Also but NDAs like I get it But it's also it's just so legally you could sue the person NDAs and private investigators really get me going

Did you hear about Meghan Trainor? My girly. We haven't spoken in a while. She might be mad at me. I don't know. I have to look into it. But she was talking about how she has vaginosis. Vaginosis? Vag...

Vaginal? She gets candid about painful intercourse and vaginismus diagnosis. What does that mean? Sex with her husband, Daryl Sabara, the spy kid, is painful because of her vaginismus diagnosis.

Oh my God. I just heard a story on TikTok that this girl thought that she had an STD because every time she had sex with her boyfriend, it would like burn and hurt and they both went to the doctor. And he was like, you guys don't have anything. And he was like, do you eat a lot of spicy foods?

And the guy was like, yeah, I eat a lot of hot sauce. And they were like, okay, it's like what you eat goes into your cum and you're literally burning her. So you're on a strict pineapple diet for the next two years. Is that insane? How much hot sauce is this guy consuming? I don't know.

what the i don't know but is that nuts how much frank's yeah could he possibly be consuming but could you imagine being like i know my boyfriend's cheating on me i know he gave me an std like it burns when i pee and it turns out to just be hot sauce you divorce him you take the kids honestly that would give me an ick because i feel like i thought out here like banging some really you're just eating hot cheetos you're just disgusting

Oh, I didn't realize you're just gross. Also, how much hot sauce do you have to eat before your taste buds are just numb? I feel like he had to be consuming a lot of spicy and hot foods. So vaginismus is... Merry Christmas. It's not like a bacterial thing. It's an involuntary tensing of the vagina at the start of intercourse. Um...

So like her body's doing it. Her body. Again, it causes like burning that like after sex, you can't walk. I mean, she's basically saying her pussy is so small. Oh, my God. But this is like amazing that she's speaking out about it. She also mentioned that he is a huge dick, which I think was iconic. Yeah. Good for that couple. Daryl. I mean, any guy named Daryl has to have a huge cock. I feel like that as well. Yep. I think it's kind of a mental thing.

Oh, my God. Where, like, your body is scared for whatever reason and, like, closes. It's like when we try to do anal. Yeah. You know, it's like, nope. So I think with some women that can happen. And it's a condition that needs awareness. Oh, my God. Imagine you have that, like, when you're younger. Oh, my God. Like, before you even have sex and you, like, are like, is this what it is? People will feel it during, like, exams. Wow. Yeah.

But she had a child. Vagina's a crazy thing. But, like, this is the thing. The men haven't even, like, researched vaginas. Like, they don't even know what's going on. They have no idea what we're going through. No. That's why you can fart and say it was a queef. It was vaginal. It was vaginal.

I hate when that happens though. Like I get so, yeah, like uncomfortable. Yeah. Cause I wasn't, that was him. He like did it to you, but I don't think they know that. Like, I think that the men think, because I have had that happen to me sometimes where I've had like guys be like, it's okay. And I'm like, no, I know it's fucking okay. You did it. Yeah. You're doing weird shit when you're taking it out. Like are putting air inside of air and then like, like a fart cushion. Yeah. Like,

Like, I know it's okay. I should tell you it's okay. Dude, that was okay. Your dick just farted. Yeah. Like, get out of here. Literally, go home. Why are you even still here? Did you know Scarlett Johansson dated Ryan Reynolds? Isn't that nuts? Did I make that up? Mm-mm. Why does no one talk about that? They went on a double date, and Blake was with her boyfriend at the time. Is that crazy?

that's crazy people do not talk about it I'm googling as we speak I feel like there's so much like crossover in that like A-list celebrity world that like we would never even know about oh yeah there's probably so many hookups because that people don't talk about our normal life don't you feel like there's like a lot of hookups that you're just like that that was a crazy one when I heard that yeah but I don't think

the second they go public it's on the internet forever so I feel like so many people don't tell I just think it's so funny when things are in like that people still don't realize that like things that are in press are like supposed to be in press and things that aren't aren't like when's the last time you saw a picture of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively like walking into a restaurant

You don't. Yeah. Like, but when you see other celebrities that are like doing these things and they're like, oh, paparazzi caught them doing it. And it's like, well, no, they didn't. No. Like, unless if it's like you're in a scandal. Yeah. People are flying around. No.

paparazzi did not paparazzi had to be alerted yeah that you were like this publication was alerted yes a time was set up emails were sent out wardrobes were picked the lighting was right superb they will pick a final photo too like they'll send the photos and be like which one do you want correctamundo because it's two people scratching each other's backs right the publication is getting like awareness the person is getting awareness so like

I if you're like if you're not Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively and the way they do it like I don't believe anything about you. As in they only get seen like on red carpet sometimes. Yes. Like Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling. People don't even know they're married. They're my goals. People got mad. Remember when I posted my like wedding photo without Des and I was like.

Iconic. Who planned it. Right. Who did all the work. He literally woke up an hour before. Also, like if you're following me to just like get TMI relationship, like that's fine, but you're not going to. That's not the fun part. You're literally going to get none. Or like you.

you're just gonna see obviously like the fake what you want to see fake shit of other people posting their relationship they love each other they're just going to huge fight the other day craig posted like a carousel of photos of us and i was so scared that when i clicked on it there was going to be like a big long caption what was it there wasn't it was like one sentence and i was like but i get nervous when guys post carousels because you know they're picking like

wild photos yeah he didn't even like ask for my approval on any he went rogue he went rogue what was going on you think you're in charge or something was it like a random just like random love my girl not even it didn't even like talk about me i don't love he's like who is she has anyone know this woman she keeps showing up in my house and grabbing my dick with their medicine underwear

I think she's a nurse. I watched the Aaron Carter documentary. Oh, my gosh. What was it on? I have no idea. Yeah. I don't know. Hulu, maybe? Yeah. I think it's Hulu. I feel like they crank them out quick. They crank them out. And it definitely wasn't... Yeah, it definitely was quick, for sure. I think it was, some would say, too soon. Yeah. I mean, I still won't watch a 9-11 documentary. I'm like, this is too soon. Yeah. And it's been 40 years. But...

It's really fucking sad because A, I don't think he died on purpose. Yeah. And B... You think he did it to himself or someone did it to him? As in he was just trying to have a good time. Got it. Like he was like doing that... I don't know what it's called because I'm so prude. But like you like put air. It's like air. But he ends up drowning and so much of it... Look, also I've been around the block. I've seen...

Some people do some weird shit. People have done less for more. Yeah. Like never in my life have I even ever heard of people like huffing air. Yeah. But the thing is like we grew up with Aaron Carter. Like I know where I was. They were saying Drake Bell does the same thing. Oh.

He does, like, that air thing. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, I remember where I was when Aaron's party dropped and, like, I want candy dropped. Yeah, I remember where I was. Like, we were his age. Yeah. Like, we were, like, looking around. Do you remember when he was in the Lizzie McGuire show? No, it was... I remember being, like, this kid. He was our Justin Bieber. He was our... Yes. He was fully our Justin Bieber. He was so cute. And I thought he was better than... I was an NSYNC girly, so I was, like, he's better than the Backstreet Boys. Yeah. He is... I mean, he's kind of, like, a nepo brother. But anyway...

The online hate when he started having trouble was so bad. Like he, he was just a joke to people and it's so sad because he clearly is such like a sensitive, beautiful, talented, amazing soul. You know, it's crazy to the amount of online hate when like,

You didn't even really know. No one really even knew him. Like you saw him because he like performed concerts. You knew him because he put out a CD or like he was in a TV show. But like never did people like there was not like there was interviews on Aaron Carter at that time or like he was on a reality show. He actually did do a reality show. He did. They did the family. Do you remember the Carter? No. They had a reality show. And what's fucked up is his one of his sisters died.

unalived herself. No way. Yeah. So while they were like, I think after filming, got it. And basically it was supposed to be like a rebrand of him, like showing the family and being, but it like, it just showed like a lot more tension and drama, obviously. And it wasn't healthy. And then they just like do those little like,

things where they show all these tweets in like a minute and it's just like just like well at least i'm not aaron carter well like aaron carter is such a fucking joke yeah whenever i feel bad of myself i look at aaron carter's life like and it's not funny not funny well like one is funny and then when you realize hundreds and hundreds of people are using you like then you start believing it yeah and you start hating yourself more yeah and then with addiction his family like started

started to basically cut him off and be like, "If you're gonna be like this, we can't be part of the family with you." So when he passed away, he wasn't even talking to his brother at the time. - So sad. - It's so sad, it's so dark.

And they had our girly Christy Carlson Romano speaking because she's a former child star who dealt with addiction and has recovered. But it's like it's a thin fucking line. It's no, it's crazy. I just started watching the Pete Davidson show. Oh, yes. Bupkis. What's it about? Is it his life? It's about he plays himself like he is Pete Davidson. But didn't he do that in the King of Staten Island?

Yes. But it's a different type of... But he wasn't Pete Davidson in that. Yeah, you're right. He was just like a kid and his dad died. This is him as being famous. This is him as being famous. The...

Joe Pesci plays his grandfather. The guy from the Ray Romano show who plays the brother, plays his uncle. Yes, yes, with the low voice. Which McCall plays his mom, the mom from The Sopranos, Carmela. I forget what her name is right now. So he's Italian in it.

He's Italian. Is he? Yeah. His mom's Italian. His dad was like something else. His mom's Italian. I don't know what his dad was. It's so funny and so good. And there are parts where he talks about like,

Because in the show, like, it does. It's very relatable in terms of, like, he lives in Staten Island. He lives with his mom. But, like, he's paying the mortgage. So he's like, my mom lives with me. Yeah. And, like, he is just a normal person. And, like, his family is like, oh, my God, you're in a movie. And he's like, yeah, it's crazy. And then he'll, like, Google himself. Oh.

And he'll just be like, it's not good. Like, no one fucks with me. And then, like, his grandpa talks to him about it. And he, like, goes to therapy. It's just so, like, good and funny and real. Yeah. And you really, like, you love him. Oh, I've heard really good things about it. But, yeah, again, you stop...

When you get famous, you stop becoming who you are and you become like the character people put onto you, which full circle makes... I actually am like fully understanding why celebrities change their entire face because you're like, people don't know me for me anyway. Right. So if you're just going to judge me as this external figure, why not make it like as this product that I am as perfect as possible? Because I'm a product to you guys. Right. And that's all I am to you and it makes me money. And I feel like we live in a world that's like, be real. Like be...

Be fucking for real. But it's like people that are that famous, like you can't. Well, because no one treats you like you're real. Yeah, like you have like your celebrity persona and then you have like who you are with like the people that legitimately know you. Exactly. Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Sometimes sleeping next to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

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ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Are you ready for some hoops off? Are you ready for some hoops off? This is legitimately what you see people do right before they're going to fight. They take off their hoops, their earrings, because they don't want to get them ripped out of their ear. And they get ready for battle.

Hey, I'm Liz. And I'm Karen. And you're listening to Hoops Off from Luminary. On this show, we take our hoops off to bring you the spiciest, the saltiest takes on each week's games. We'll also be reading books by our favorite players, reviewing Shaq-sponsored products. And of course, we'll be bringing the tea. Should I, should I prepare the hot water? Oh, you better prepare the hot water. Please make sure to follow the show on your favorite podcast listening platform.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. I'm excited to watch it. Also, I watched Beef. Yes, I watched that. What do you think?

I thought it was good because it was so out there. Yeah. Like it was so different. Yeah. It was so different. Never have I seen a storyline like that. Never have I watched a show like that. There were parts that I thought were really funny. I forgot his name. He was really good. He was, he was so likable. Okay. The acting. They're trying to make it like he was annoying, but he wasn't annoying. He was, I want to be friends with him. And then she is so fucking special. Yeah. Like,

She was funny in, like, not being funny. Yeah. Like, it wasn't the thing she was saying. She was funny in, like, a real-life way. In how she is. Yeah. When she pulled out the gun. What about when she's, like, masturbating with the gun? Her husband was hot, too. Okay, that was the other thing. I'm so obsessed with the husband. It was a little miscast because he was so hot, but she was trying to make it like he's too vanilla. And I'm like, be vanilla on me, baby. Like, I don't care. And I thought his mom was a great, like, casting. Great casting. No.

No, it's a good show. I didn't realize how into shows you are. No, I'm so into shows. Until I went flying with you and you looked at me with like panic and you were like, what shows do I have to watch? And I was like, why are we discussing this five minutes before the flight? I have to download my shows. And she's like, I have to download my shows. I've almost missed flights because I'm waiting for my shows to download. That's crazy. And then the second we get on the flight, you're fully have a setup. No, yeah. You're taking notes. I'm an iPad kid. You are being an iPad kid. I'm a full iPad kid.

I literally do this new thing now where I get on the plane last. I don't care where I'm sitting, what my baggage situation is. You always check your bags. I am getting on the plane last because, one, I don't want to sit on that tin can.

longer than everybody else. Two, I need my shows to download because what am I going to do on the flight? The Wi-Fi, I don't care what airline you're flying. I've never had working Wi-Fi. And then they act like it's the first time it ever broke. I'm like, it's never worked. I've been flying recently. There's no TVs in the headrest unless you're flying four hours.

And I'm like, this is ridiculous. So I bring my iPad. Now I know my setup. They gaslight you. You're like, hey, the internet's not working. And they go, that's crazy. Because we have the best internet in the world. And you're stupid. Also, yeah.

What are the airlines doing with the internet? Because you have it when you're waiting to get on the plane. You go down that tunnel. When the door shuts. Boom. Internet's gone. Down the tunnel. You're in no man's land. Then you have to wait to get internet until the plane gets in the air. You have to hit Mars. Like, why do we not have it? But you can't download. It's not that kind of internet. Oh, God. Oh, God, no. Oh, God, no. No streaming. No downloading.

Basically your T9 texting. What would you do? Because you know weird things happen to me in the airport and I've been on like 4,702 planes lately. I sit down and a guy sits down next to me. You know you just get weird energy from people. I'm like he's going to be a problem. He's like hi. And I'm like hi. And then he goes and this is at 10 a.m. He goes can you open your window?

And I'm the window seat. Okay. And you know what my plan is? The second that I'm out, I lean against the window in pitch black. Yeah. Because it's 10 a.m. As you should. Because the sun is literally coming up. Beaming. Beaming laser beams into my eye. What would you do? Okay. What I would do and what I want to do is two totally different things. First of all, him. Had you taken off?

No. Okay. Him asking you to put the window up while you're still, your plane is still grounded is absolutely insane on his part. Because one, they tell you to keep the windows down for a specific reason and it's to not get the plane hot or else then they have to run the air. So it cools the plane down. Oh, so he actually could have put us all in a very jeopardy. And also if you're not sitting in the window, you don't control the window.

I naturally was like, of course. Shutting a window? That's crazy. I want to get a sunburn. I would love to get sun in my eyes. Also, it's not like he was reading. Also, there's a light if you need to read. But anyway, at first I was like, he's older. Maybe there's something going on. You wanted to see LaGuardia, what they're doing? Yeah, he needed the view. Maybe I assumed some people get weird on airplanes where they're really nervous. I said to Des, what would you do? Because I like asking another man, how would a man handle this? And he goes, you would say, so I prefer not to.

And when he says it, it's like, well, obviously. Right. Where, you know, I would have puked myself. Literally. So I spent the whole flight with like, you know, when you close your eyes. Sweating. You close your eyes and there's like, you can feel the heat. I am low on vitamin D. So maybe he saw that. Maybe he was like, this girl's very depressed.

Burn him at the stake, honestly. Burn him at the stake. No, I agree with you. Obviously, we're putting it up. In our brains, we hate you. And I'm the only row that has it up. Everyone else is peacefully like me, me, me, me, me, sleeping. Yep. And then this guy doesn't even look over. No. Also, if you are looking over, that's fucking awkward. Like you're just staring at me trying to sleep. I hate them all. Anyway, you guys, thank you so much for giggling with us.

Good luck on your next flight. Good luck on your next flight. The Niche Collection came out. I'm going to Vegas in two weeks if people want to come. I have like one show. Book a bachelorette and come to the show. And we have tickets for Chicago. So exciting. Love you guys. Thanks for getting with us. Bye.