Giggling about wicked, winter trends, and projection
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sup gigglers gary fix the wi-fi manifest that shit we can't be managed i mean the day just got away from me what's up my gastrointestinal giggler i have to formally apologize the podcast is late by a day surprisingly not because of page because of me no because of me i have been peeing from my butthole um i'm on day three

Don't be jealous. I have a stomach flu. I know the girlies are like, why not me? Well, chase your dreams. But truly, when you do have a stomach flu, are you looking at the bright side of things where you're like, do you feel like all the toxins are just leaving your body? Some kind of detox is happening, but I'm like, what kind of devil is living in my stomach right now? Also, I think you were with two kids under two.

That's what Des said. Des was like, well, you're with kids. So that's what happens. Also, I think your body does just break down after a certain amount of touring. It's just part of it. Also, I looked in the mirror and I was like, oh my God, I look so pale. And then I was like, or did my spray tan just wear off? I can't tell if I'm pale or it's just the November. Okay, here's the one thing with Giggly Squad touring.

I can't look pretty this many days in a row. No, I know. Like, at the last show, what was our last show, Chicago? My makeup just, like, wouldn't actually even go on my face anymore. It was like, bitch, there's no amount of concealer and contour to make you look alive. I feel like the show itself is getting funnier, but the back end is getting less funny. It's funny.

We're crashing. We're crashing. It's not good over here. And we're about to go to Texas. Here's the other thing.

we've also gotten so insanely close it's not good for humanity no it's not good we haven't seen each other in 24 hours we just chatted for a full hour before we recorded because it was so much happened wait we'll literally go to bed after a show at like midnight wake up at 9 a.m at the airport and i'll look at her and i'll be like what's the gossip

what's going on she's like bitch we've been asleep for nine hours straight and i'm like we have nothing to give me nothing happened since we were gone i usually can muster up a small trinket of something someone liked this on instagram and i'll be like that's the tea that's the tea i'll just start making shit up i'm like imagine if this happened here's what there is one small piece of discourse okay

I feel like I would like to address that. I, I'm so proud of everyone in the arts. I'm so proud of everyone. I'm so like, I love when people find something that they love and I am so supportive of it. And I think that you should love whatever you want. I know what you're about to say. You're about to say something controversial. Oh no. Again, I love that people love wicked. I,

for that. Paige. I'm so pumped for them. I love that they're getting all their outfits. I love that they're going. I love that they're expressing themselves freely on social media in a way that they see fit for their particular lifestyle. Me on the other hand, no amount of musical theater can heal the world. Can spark such joy in me. That's our favorite thing to say right now. Spark joy.

That a tear just falls down my sparkled face. It just... Wait, there's two types of people. People who can hear singing live and it makes them cry. Or people who hear singing live and go, this isn't for me. Yeah. Also, are you projecting a little bit? Because you have been forced by Craig to watch musicals against your will. No.

As a self-reflective person, I would like to see myself as. I thought that. I said, is this just me being

having group mentality and hating on something that other people hate on and like if it was a different a different genre a different situation and people were hating on me for loving something I would say go fuck yourself but here's the thing at 16 years old my mom planned a beautiful sweet 16 for me she got all my friends inside of a limousine she that drove us down to New York City we went to lunch at Serendipity we got the frozen hot chocolate I loved my outfit and

We then went to see the play Wicked with the original cast, mind you. Like, we went all out. Hannah, I took one of the longest naps in the history of my napping career. Didn't see a single second of it, okay? Or was it, were the noises so calming, the singing was so peaceful, and it just blurred you to the deepest REM sleep you've ever had?

I actually felt bad for my mom. And my mom was like, oh, like, I don't care at all, Paige. Like, you had a great time with your friends. And then my grandma, my mom's mom, also dead asleep. So it's genetic. So it's genetic. And I was going to say something about Wicked, too, which I feel like people might look at me differently after this. But I had even less of a childhood than you.

Never saw Wicked once. Wasn't even brought up. Don't even know the story of it. Wasn't even brought up in the household. Wasn't even brought to the dinner table. And that's a family that I would marry into. I was crying on tennis courts. Okay, I didn't have time to go watch two witches. Never came across your desk. Never came across my desk. But where I think we're jealous a little bit is that we've never loved anything as much as people love Wicked.

I know they've never loved. I'm like, where do I find my niche? I wish an outside source could affect my psyche so much that I could be in a bad mood. Something else happens to someone else and suddenly I'm overjoyed. I think I need to see it though. I'm for sure going to watch it on my couch. Like I'm going to throw it on and see what the hype is about. I think we should watch it. We should live stream watch it.

I'm going to say I'm probably going to come back to a podcast and episode and be like, I loved it. It was a great movie. But that is as far as I know I'll ever take it. Yes. Yes. You know? The only time I cried was when I met Roger Federer. Yeah, it's just, it's not, it's not something I've ever been into. But I love, look, and I love Ariana Grande. When she came out and said, um,

on the podcast, Last Culture East, which is such a hilarious podcast, that her fans were going to be mad because she wants to go like more into acting and like doing impressions and stuff like that. I was so happy. I was like, yes, I think that's so, I don't need another pop star. I think you like did what you needed to do in. Well, life is about change and evolving. Music theater, you love it. Yes.

Well, you know what? It is a great day for musical theater kids. And again, we support musical theater kids. I support all the musical theater kids. I wish when I was a young child, I found that niche of...

To all those musical theater kids, you're fucking lucky that me and Paige can't sing. Because if we could, we would never shut the fuck up. Like, we would. I'm so happy I can't sing because I would be arrested by now. I'd be put underground. I'd be too powerful, is what it'd be. I'd be way too fucking powerful. I think I wouldn't be able to sustain normal relationships. The streets would have been made for dance. Like, yeah.

thing they don't say about us me and you we've never broke out into a song or a dance no i never once been like you know what this moment needs a little dance rehearsal a little ditty yeah it's oh bad play on words absolutely absolutely not does it need a little titty that's terrifying in 2024

Sorry to bring the mood down from musical theater. We were talking about happiness and singing. Do you like the fashion of the premieres of Wicked? You know, I was really hoping you weren't going to ask me that question because you put me in an uncomfortable position. I'm the Barbara Walters of this podcast. I have to ask the hard questions. No, it's so true. I... Yes. Did you just have a stroke? I...

Sorry, I'm trying to get my voice in tune. I'm actually going to be singing. Wait, can we discuss? I actually do love singing on tour. I have one moment in the show that I sing. No, it's part of our show. Hannah breaks out into song. You are a musical theater kid at Giggly Squad Live. You break out into dance and song. Have you ever once on stage let yourself sing for a second and immediately I'm on American Idol?

We're in front of 3,000 girls with a mic and I'm like, I can say whatever the fuck I want right now. And I start just singing and then you're like, please stop. I don't know how you do it. We were at one show and a girl got up and said, it's my best friend's birthday. Will you sing happy birthday to her? I went into an immediate cold sweat. I did the Marilyn Monroe version and I was like, happy birthday. No, and that's why you're my best friend because I was like, Hannah will pop out with something. Because one thing we've learned in the Giggis Wild Life show is that I am a people pleaser.

Is that anything the gigglers ask me to do? I will do. They're like, can you shave your head? And I said, oh, OK, fine. If you don't believe her, you should see her getting on a plane the next morning, not being able to walk because her lower back is fucked because she keeps doing the worm. I'm also doing the worm in mini dresses. So my Amazon granny panties are just out. I don't even know if people want to see that. Oh, God. So anyway, stop trying to distract me.

The Wicked Fashion. What are we thinking? I just think they've done a lot of premieres. How many premieres? They've been premiering for about a year.

Here's one thing I will say when there's a movie premiering and they're like very much in the character of that movie throughout their fashion of the press junket. I love it. I love that they like stay on theme. I loved Margot Robbie like doing all the Barbie outfits. I thought it was just like fun. Like when else are you going to be able to wear those kinds of outfits? So I'm so into both of the leads leaning into their characters in a fashion sense. Mm-hmm.

Do I think some of it could have been like a little bit more interesting to look at? Yeah. But who doesn't have an opinion? That was so Kim Kardashian of you. Sorry. Did she say that or did? Yeah. Sometimes the phrase, come on, give me nothing comes to mind. But who am I to judge? Who am I to judge? I'm barely afloat. Do you know what it is? I'm barely keeping it going. You know what it is? I think Ariana's color palette.

And look, I don't even believe in the whole winter, spring, summer thing. I think that's all bullshit on Instagram. You know, they're like, clearly she's a winter, spring. And it's like, no, it's not clear because she actually looks good in all those shades of pink. And no one's like going to be ugly with a slightly different shade of pink. Anyway. Yeah. As an Italian, let's not forget she's Italian. She's Italian. And as an Italian who's bleached her hair blonde before, it's not meant for us sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes. Sometimes. I have loved Ariana Grande for so long. I've always thought she's an incredible singer. And she's hilarious. Let's acknowledge that she is hilarious. She's so funny. And I know we make a lot of jokes about blondes sometimes on this podcast, but there's just some things that only a blonde can do, like a gorgeous drop-dead blonde. And I just think Ariana is better suited as a brunette.

I can't wait for the brunette comeback. Sometimes, you know what? You don't miss it till it's gone. And I think that's what life is about. We have to have our different experiences in life to acknowledge. We're growing. We're growing. Our struggles. We're learning. Wait, and also about fashion. Have you heard of the fashion trend, Madam Sandler?

I have not. Neither has not come across. Neither did I. I did this like interview with this magazine and they were like, what do you think of Madam Sandler? And then I was like, am I that person that hasn't seen the TikTok clips yet? And I was like, I'm Gen Z. So like, I don't know what you're talking about.

But apparently it's like dressed like Adam Sandler, but with like a little cunt. Like so like a tight top with like a cargo pant. So it's like kind of like a little Carrie Brad, like add a little pop of Carrie. Yeah. So it's like Adam Sandler, but sexy. And I'm into that. I'm into that. Then we also for fall or I guess it's becoming winter already. The frazzled English woman.

That's a new trend. So it's basically like you're looking like you just you threw on all these layers and your scarf is falling off and your hat's falling off. Who the fuck is coming up with these? I'm done. I'm done now. I've hit my limit. I think it's AI. I think it's AI. It's not. I'm not doing a new persona every time. Someone's having some identity problems and they're projecting. This is the projecting episode.

This is, like, I can't be all of these things. Paige, you've always been aware of trends, and I brought this up before because this is the first year I'm aware of trends. Do you feel fucked with by the industry that they're like, oh, now we're not doing glazed donut nails. Now we have to do glazed coffee nails. And it's like, at one point, are you like, stop fucking with me. It's too much. Stop fucking with me. It's too much. Because I like glazed donut nails, and I'd like to continue them. It's too much.

I mean, here's, I will say in, from a style standpoint, as I get older, I feel like I do lean. I love a trend. I do love like trying certain things and like Giggly Squad Live is actually a perfect place for like, where I'm like, where will I ever wear this? Okay. I'll wear it to Giggly Squad. But in my everyday life, I've just, I've started to feel like I've

I've leaned more classic style because I'm on trend overload. Yes. Like I like I can't do it anymore. And I do think sometimes trends can help you learn about yourself. Like every now and then you'll see a trend to be like, I fuck with that. Take that. But then leave all the other trends that you don't think is made for you because then it's too much. Capitalism wins again. And here we are.

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Monday.com. For whatever you run, go to Monday.com to learn more. Can I say one thing about the male population? I'd love if you did. Have you thought about when people get married, how men are Mr. They're always Mr. whether they're married or not. But once you get married, you are not MS anymore. You are MRS. And it comes from the old school concept that like women...

Women are only about. I love when you're telling a fact and like your voice changes a little. It's my teacher voice. Yeah, like I love the inflection of a fact. You know, it's like this really happens in this hour. Yeah, but we do want to differentiate. Take out your notebooks, kids, because today I'm about to teach you about life.

Now, you're like if Miss Frizzle grew up. By the way, someone said they yassified Miss Frizzle. Like the way she looks now. She like doesn't even have curly hair. She's like a snatched waist. Did you see that? Now that'll bring me to tears. I have seen it. It's so it's so unbecoming. It's so it's not right. No, like when did she get a keratin treatment on her hair? What was wrong? I'm like, why did you guys do that? No. Yeah. I'm like.

Miss Frizzle made every wacky art teacher like my favorite teacher. Yes. Normalize the frazzled art teacher for fall as a trend. Don't brush your hair. So yeah, when we get married, we have to change our front of our name to MRS because women's value is intrinsically if we're married to a man or not. Hold up on that fact. Yeah.

No, but it's important for society. Women's value is what? Women's value is what? Did you say it intrinsically? I lost you. I don't know where that came from. I have a stomach bug right now and you're literally... I'm about to shit myself. Like I am holding my butthole by a thread right now. I'm holding on by a thread.

I'm saying that why do we have to know if women are married or not, but we don't have to know if men are or not because it affects women's status to know if they are married or not. Because I'm sorry. Why does my husband stay mister, but suddenly I have to change it to MRS because suddenly I'm more of value because I'm married. Actually, a lot of the time your husband makes your life worse.

Well, statistically that. So my thing is I'm done. I'm done with the MRS. I'm done. We're not doing it. I actually I mean, sometimes I'll see like M.I.S.S. like Miss Paige DeSarbo. But I if I have to write it myself, I use M.S. because I'm like, they don't need to know my business. Well, you're because they don't need to know if I'm Mrs. or Miss. So M.S. means you're single. Yeah.

It does? I thought it was just like a vague one. I thought M-I-S-S is single. I feel like M-I-S-S and M-S are the same. And then M-R-S means you're married. Oh, so I've just been playing this. I don't know. I could be making that up, though. Because again, when was the last time I wrote my name? Well, that's true. Well, that's very true. No, I, I, yeah, I see that. I mean, but that's I feel like that's not going away.

I feel like it should. You know, I don't want to know if a man is married or not. I don't want to be involved in their issues. Like, keep me out of it. I'm fine. Why did you write Instagram stories on DMs? Oh, my God. I just got the Instagram update with the little statuses. Oh, the notes. Right above your DMs. The notes. I hate them. Get them out of here. Well, this is what... I've had them for a while. Yeah.

This is what people don't realize. When you write a little note, it's only to people that you follow. So don't like promote your show or like promote stuff. Think it's going to all your followers. It's not. It's going to your friends who don't care. Don't type in it. Don't. It's I hate it. I actually but I like it because I learn a lot about people from it because I'm like, yeah, unfriend them. If you're a person who writes in it too often.

Who are you talking to? Well, here's the other thing. You only see the first four all the time for 24 hours. I'm like, I've seen what you guys have been doing. Do you know what I realized about my Instagram? I follow 6,000 people. You're a freak. That's stimulation overload for me. No, but you don't see them. I see the same 40 people every day that I don't want to see. Can we talk about people's sexiest man alive a little from page news action?

So was that just announced today? Yesterday. Oh, John Krasinski. Why did I see the version that it was Benny Blanco? Maybe they're doing a test. Maybe they're doing an A-B test. They put out in the public to see reactions. Or mine was like a fake TikTok because I was like, there's no way. Also, I just feel like in the current climate, we don't need a people sexiest man alive right now. I feel like all the girls are like, ugh. Like, no, thank you.

You know what's funny is that like anything like that for women has been like completely scrubbed off the face of the earth. Like,

People don't even do a best and worst dress list anymore because it's just like whatever. But for some reason, people's sexiest man alive has just withheld the test of time. It's like we can't go on unless we know who the sexiest man alive is. Here's the thing. I don't care that it's like I like it. It's whatever. I don't feel a certain type of way about it.

But it's typically someone who's like been in the news the past year, who's like made some type of impact or like we've seen a movie from them or they've been like in public. John Krasinski, who I love, who I actually do find like attractive. I don't even I'm not mad that he's the sexiest man alive. I'm not mad about it. But again, it didn't it does nothing for me. But I'm like, wait, what? Why? What's going on? Like I was like, did something happen that I missed?

It's just a very interesting PR play Unless he's about to like Start doing a lot of press and PR Because he's like working on a project I mean I know his wife has been working

I know Emily's been on the... I was just going to say... I'm glad that he's getting facials at home, being the sexiest man alive, while Emily has been working her little butt off, changing her whole accent in multiple movies. Has she done anything this year? Well, she did the fallout thing with Ryan. Oh, yeah. And then she was on fucking Oppenheimer. And then she did the whole press tour for that. She's busy, but I'm glad... Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

you're livid yeah wait i'm trying to think who i wouldn't be mad at and also john krasinski i've not like i literally i've seen no i'm an elevator once tall love um it's just like we could do more i feel like sexiest man alive like give me something that gives me a guttural feeling like give me someone give me an old man here's the thing i actually why wasn't it killian murphy

Hello. It's funny. Immediately, I was like, Kelly Murphy, Paul Mescal, literally pick any of them. Yeah, give me one of them. Also, give me someone who's like, John Crescenti's

he was funny in his show but like where's the guy who's like who's has a good personality give me someone gen z that's like about to be the next generation's brad pitt give me someone who like i'm about to watch grow not like so they put that guy role model which was which was random and i don't

I don't really know who he is. I have no idea who that is. It's very random, but he had a funny TikTok about how he's like, all these guys don't need this. I do. He's like, no one's even going to tell Harry Styles. His publicist won't even tell him if he wins this. Name one man. If Billy Eichner literally found me on the street, I would die. Name one man. Do you know who I think is hot? Jonathan Bailey from Wicked.

Now, why the heck? Now here, now I'm, I'm, I stand with the music theater folk. Why the fuck was it not Jonathan Bailey?

There's a few gay men over the course of my lifetime, a lot in real life, honestly, that I have found out that they were gay and my heart has literally shattered. Jonathan Bailey is one of them that I'm like, wait a minute. So you're saying there's a 0.0. When there's a, as a female,

a female like if you see like a super hot guy like a Matthew McConaughey you're like yes he's like happily married he's so hot like there's a zero chance that I would ever marry Matthew McConaughey but zero is still like a fine for me zero is still on the board when it's 0.0 it's a different kind of part like oh they wouldn't even look at you my current gay crush I would sit on his fucking face who is it Cooper Koch

No, I feel the same way. But it's so easy for gay men to put on straight voice. And then it's so funny that they have to like dumb themselves down to be straight voice. You sent me that TikTok. This guy was like, okay, I want to try to do a straight voice. And he's like, what's up?

He like he's like, I'm going to do a straight voice while I'm ordering Chipotle. And he just says the word bowl. And it's so fucking funny. So can I have a bowl? We also people don't talk about how the what's what is the guy with Ariana? What's his name? No, you phrase that perfectly. What is the guy is Ariana? He did an interview. I said, what? What's his name?

What is his name? Does it matter? Does it matter? I have no idea. That is a man who made a very smart decision. And he said, look, just on the street, no girls coming up to me. But in musical theater where I'm the only straight guy, I am Brad Pitt. This man had a whole ass wife and newborn child. I envision that him and Ariana had a Martha Stewart moment where Ariana was like, you know, we were all singing together.

wicked and it was so beautiful and emotional and everyone was crying and I just thought I'm gonna make out with that man I think that's what happened I think music they fell in love with the music and then fell in love with each other and that's why I don't trust it yeah and you ever fall people have said like sometimes you fall in love with people people fall in love with you because like you love what they do or you you want to be them like do you do you want to be them or do you love them

And I think sometimes you fall in love with someone because you want to be them. And then you realize I don't want to be them. And then you fall out of love. I saw a thing on TikTok and it said Leos fall in love with people because they like that they like them. That's me. Yeah. And I'm the opposite. I fall in love with people because I like that they don't like me.

No, wait, that's so funny because people, I'm like, what'd you say? You don't like me. Okay. I'm so proud of girls who were like, he's cool, but like he was boring or like I didn't like his personality with me. I got that. I'm bringing it. I got it already. Yeah. All I need. I'll put you on my back. It's for you to see me as the light that I am. And the second you see me, I say, I don't care if he's so fucking dumb. He saw me.

Which means no one else sees his genius. And if I'm the only one that saw his genius, that's another level of mental illness that I have to work on. But yeah, now for the sex portion of the show. We've been saying this on stage, which is so funny because we've been asking guys about their favorite sex positions. And we started to realize like there are sex positions for me, at least. I will only do like third or fourth time we hook up just to like secure the bag.

Yeah, get the energy thrown in there. Yeah, like I'm doing reverse cowgirl. I'm showing you what I'm capable of, but I'm not making a habit of it. Yes, and during it, you remember why you don't do this all the time and why you save it. Yeah. And once you do it, you're like, oh, I'm not going to do this for a couple months. Thank God. Yes, thank God. But like people who are like, oh, it's Wednesday, 6 p.m., long day at work. Let's just 69. That's crazy behavior. Yeah.

That's crazy. That's overstimulating. That's... No one's ever come home from a long, hard day...

and said you know what i'd like to what could make me the most uncomfortable while having to pretend that i love it you know what's wrong with our system i mean there's a lot of things wrong with our society but one thing is we only talk about sex when it's the beginning of meeting someone like movies books it's always the sex in the beginning which is like yeah you will you want to hump each other all the time let's discuss the sex of three years in and

And people try to be like, oh, yeah, three years in, like, oh, we don't fuck anymore. It's not that either. It's something else that no one talks about, which is, look, it's more complicated. It's more nuanced. It's more complicated. Also, there's the sex where you don't even kiss anymore. Why? You don't even kiss. When I picture, I never kiss during sex, even in the beginning. You got to pay more for that.

If you want tongue, you got to pay more. That's not for me. It's not for me. All the guys in the Midwest. This is not for me. All the guys in the Midwest like to do missionary so they could hold eye contact. Paige is upset. That made me deeply uncomfortable. That gave you a UTI.

there's a time and place for us to hold eye contact sexually and it's never in nowhere like i it's once in a blue moon okay you're like feeling so inspired to be in love yeah right but like most often don't look at me do you know what my toxic trait is because i'm a leo lights on baby i go if we're gonna do it if we're gonna do it

Let's fucking go. No, I'm lights on. You're lights on. Well, here's the thing. I have vision problems already to begin with. Like, I can't.

I get dizzy pretty easily. I can't be changing lighting. Yeah, I don't like when it's like, oh, let's have sex. Turn off the lights and find me. I'm like, I'm not playing hide and go seek right now. No, if anything, that's freakier because God knows what I'm doing with my face when I know someone can't see it. Like, I am wilding out here. Like, it's not... I like to know where he is in the room. Like, I don't trust you. Like, I need to keep tabs on you. I'm not...

we're not hiding in a dark room and then trying to find each other chasing each other around the room absolutely not absolutely not

Monday.com is the one centralised platform for everything work related. And with Monday.com, work just got easier.

Monday.com. For whatever you want. Go to Monday.com to learn more. Okay, we were on tour this week. Did anything? I'm trying to think of anything fucked up. Wait, can I throw you under the bus? I suppose. I learned something about you that I didn't know on stage. Because we get Q&As and every now and then I'm like, well, they know that about me.

Do you remember the towel question? It's a learning process for us. The towel question? They asked, like, about cleaning towels. This is something like... Do me and Craig share a towel? Do you guys share a towel? And you responded with the wildest answer I've ever heard in my life. But I didn't say that at the time. I supported you in public. You supported me in public, and I appreciate that. And now we're in private, and I need to discuss deeper. Because...

Hey, what do you mean by that? Because I actually wasn't even aware of my actions in that moment were offensive to anyone. So I'm glad that you're bringing it up. The environment. Personally to me. I consider myself a relatable down-to-earth person. Okay, let me first and foremost say that.

When it comes to towels, I am rich. Okay. My bank account has no bounds. The limit does not exist. I am spending money on towels. So if a person comes into my home and they say, hey, I need to grab a quick shower. No problem. I've got a towel for you. In fact, I've got seven towels, one for each day of the week because on certain days I'm a two towel girl and that's just how it is. I don't pick that lifestyle. And I'm going to stop you right there just to confirm.

You have a towel for each day of the week for yourself. Correct. So after you put, you wash, you dry yourself, you put the towel in the, in the hamper. Not, not always. If it's a, if it was a light wash day, like if I felt like if it wasn't a spray tan day and there's nothing on the towel, I'll hang that baby up. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'll use her tomorrow. I'm seeing some sanity.

Cause spray tan. I'll use her tomorrow. Okay. Now the real problem that we would have to address here, because this is much deeper than I, this is, this is, this is generational growing up.

My mother said, hey, dinner's over. It's time for your bath. And I went upstairs and I took a bath. I used a towel. That towel was chucked. Who knows where that towel went? That's a home of four people using different towels every single day. I don't know what towel ring this bitch was running.

but that's how i grew up it was it was fresh towel fresh shower fresh day now i appreciate that kim has gone above and beyond as a mother and i'm not about to be judgy mcjudgerstein because now i'm realizing i was conditioned you were conditioned it's not your fault but also i am on the other hand where i'm like does this towel still smell okay

I don't identify with you. And then I think, oh my God, if I have to put the towel in the wash, it's going to take forever to dry. And do I want to deal with that admin? Not in my house. Not over here. We got towels for days. They're just so thick. And then, you know, you have to redo the whole dryer again because the towel is moist. She's like, I can't.

I literally, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Not my problem. I don't have, here's the thing. I have alleviated towel mishaps from my every day. So has Craig ever used your towel? I'm sure. Oh.

But it doesn't matter because if then he used it after me, it's probably go. I'm not using it anyway. Oh, two uses. I look at it as, oh, two uses out of that towel. How often do you do laundry? That really, we're really getting to the nitty gritty. It's always on. It's like a white noise machine. It keeps me calm.

It depends because like being on tour, our schedules are just like such mayhem. When I get home from like a leg of tour, I'm doing whatever laundry is in my suitcase and in the hamper.

And then it's building up until I get back from like that next leg. So I'm probably doing laundry like once a week. Like right now I am doing laundry like currently. Like my washer and dryer are both going. But I like to leave for tour having no dirty laundry. That's what my goal is. Every time I leave for a leg of tour, there's no dirty laundry. If you go out to dinner wearing jeans.

You're out for like four hours. No dancing. But good heavy gossip. Like, you know, the heart rate got up. Yep. Are you washing those jeans?

No, here's the other thing. I don't wash. I'm only washing my pajamas, my sweats, my towels, my underwear. Am I rarely? I'm rarely washing like clothes. Yeah. She goes, after I wear a dress, I throw it away. Unless I've sweat in like a turtleneck or like a T-shirt. I'm washing my T-shirts, but.

Like, okay, like my tour outfits, like my blazers, all that. Like, no, I'm not like washing that shit. I'm not washing my jeans. Well, you also don't sweat. I'm washing my jeans like once a month. I also don't sweat. And for anyone who's wondering about my medicinal wipes that I was given, I haven't really been using them because I don't believe in them or Bluetooth. No, Hannah said something wild the other day that she doesn't use Bluetooth.

Hannah, what was it? We were in the airport. I said, Hannah, I have to draw the line. It's 2024. That's it was like a ballpoint pen. It was something so archaic that like everyone's been using for like probably 30 years. And Hannah's like, I don't trust it. I don't the science hasn't backed it. It was something so crazy. I'll think of it. I have to. You know, it's crazy. I don't remember our show in Ohio. Like I can't find it in my brain.

But you want to know what's crazy? I am like that with like every event in my life. Unless you tell me what, unless you tell me what I was wearing and I can recall at least I can like find one memory from it. And so from Ohio, I know that my dress broke.

Oh my gosh. Okay, let me tell you guys the tea. Early on, her button pops off, but she's fine. She's not moving. She's in the chair the whole time. She's fine, but she's looking at me like the world is over. Also, there's another button that's securing the dress. Like her dress isn't wide open. Yeah, like I'm not naked. She's not naked. It's just the sparkly button she liked on it that was there pretty much purely for just...

I wore the wrong pair of boots yesterday. I forgot to put the correct boots with an outfit and then I went and took a picture. The self-loathing that happened that night that I put the wrong boots on, it changed the whole course of my evening. Oh, you wore the wrong boots in one of these last shows? No, yesterday I had to take a picture for something and I wore the wrong boots. Oh, okay.

Not the wrong boots for like a brand or anything. Just in my own head, I wore the wrong boots. And I'm like, and now I'm going to post this picture and I'm going to know that I have the wrong boots on. That would have made the outfit so much better. But the people won't know that. And it's changed my whole... I can't stop thinking about it. Okay. And I love that you're spiraling over that right now. Because sometimes we take external things that we're stressed about and we put it into something that we find more familiar. Also, I would argue...

that changed change your perspective you say you know what why are we saying it's worse maybe it's better it's not though because i have eyes and i can look at the picture in the outfit well i can't wait to see this picture what was your original thought i don't know oh oh i was saying when i was you guys i've been having liquid diarrhea for three days i have nothing left i watched oh my crazy my dress broke in ohio and i was oh yeah sorry your dress broke ohio

We're all upset. Next day, she's uppity on stage. Like Paige is like, actually, I'm going to I'll take this joke. And she's she's riffing. She's like she's like at the point where I was just enjoying the show. I sat back. I was laughing. I said, who is this girl on stage right now? Not that she isn't always hilarious, but she had a spunk to her. And I literally on stage called her out. I was like, you're killing it right now.

Are you okay? Like, I was like, did she take a new beta blocker? Like, what's going on? Yeah. Like, had I doubled up? And she looks at me and she goes, oh, I love my outfit tonight. And I was like, you simple motherfucker. All you need is to just like your outfit. And suddenly she's singing the Star Spangled Banner on stage.

Here's the thing. I'm a simple gal. People want to always put all these things on me. Oh, she's high maintenance. She's a bitch. She's blah, blah, blah. I'm a simple, simple girl. I'm just a girl. When I put...

When you go shopping and you see a top that you like, you say, oh, I really like that top. I'm going to buy that because I know that I would wear that top. Sometimes you're not thinking what you're going to pair that top with. So the top comes in the mail. You look at it and you say, what do I have in here that I could put together with it? And when I find the most perfect

Perfect ensemble of something that I wasn't even pre-planning or buying to go with a specific item. The joy that sparks in my creativity and I feel like so accomplished. I'm like, oh my God, that looks so fucking cool. And I just did that in 10 minutes. I take that with me everywhere. Not to call you a hypocrite.

But the Wicked fans are furious right now. Because they're like, this bitch is coming for me for being so happy about a three-hour movie and a musical that's been...

one of the best selling for years. And this bitch just put together a top and a bottom, a matching set arguably that goes together. And it made her life. And it made her, do you know the demons I'm fighting in my own mind? I wish that putting a top and a bottom that kind of look cute together would erase all my anxieties. I wish it could be that peaceful up here.

I left Toronto show being like, do I need beta bloggers? Is that a placebo effect? Did I just have to remember the fuck I was?

Everything is relative and it's all perspective and nothing is real. Not to be negative, but I find when something horrible is happening in my life, the only way I truly get over it is for something else horrible to happen. Because then you will forget about the other horrible thing because you're too fixated on the normal thing. And that's called moving and grooving. That's called just keep swimming. But I like that with you. It's like, just keep trying on another outfit each day. And one of those outfits is going to inspire you to live life to the fullest. Yeah.

Oh, but while I was bleeding from my butthole yesterday, I watched my crazy ex-boyfriend

I think it's okay. It's not my crazy ex-girlfriend, which is a great show. Also, this is like a documentary thing. I get hesitant when these documentaries come out. True crime that are like five different seasons about a certain topic. Cause I'm like, I don't know. Why aren't they on their own? Like, are they too weak enough stories to not be on their own? Why are we doing this? Yeah. When I tell you each story brought it.

When I tell you these exes... Oh, like each episode is a different situation. Oh my God. Just a girl sitting there or a guy being like, so I met this person out of Wendy's and then it's the most insane story you've ever heard in your fucking life. Like people getting framed for...

for stuff they didn't do going to jail because their ex um do you know that that's one thing that like in my childhood that i was really afraid of in my adulthood like i thought people were gonna be out here framing each other way more often like i was really scared of being framed you know why because it was really easy that you'd used to frame people because they didn't have dna

I'd be so scared in the 80s. They just had to be like, she done it. That's what they did with the witches in Salem. They were like, she did it. She's a witch. I just feel like people don't talk about like there had to have been like a lot of fleeing. Like if someone in Salem was like, you're a witch. I'd be like, okay, now I'm out. See ya. Go to the next town. There's a lot of like eye contact. Like, don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. You're a witch. God damn it. Now I need to go to Seattle. Yeah. It's like I didn't want to journey right now and I have to journey.

But also, is there some peace knowing that back then you could just like flee and then no one could contact you? Like now I go anywhere and I still get a text from that one person from high school who's fucking annoying. No, could you just like go to a different state and change your name and no one would ever know? Yeah, that sounds fucking amazing. I feel like you could. We could do that in Europe if we wanted to. I mean, we almost did it in Toronto this weekend. I literally almost stayed. I freaking love Toronto.

We had some drama with Chicago a little bit. We did. The Italian food was really good. We did make a comment about the pizza. Here's the thing.

I respect all of your states and where everyone is from. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have my own opinions. I was booed in the middle, in the Midwest at multiple shows. And I stuck by my statements at each show. I like respect you more because I would have folded like a cheap beach chair. I would have been like, yes, whatever you guys want.

here's one thing i'm not a fair weather like you can't just sway my opinion and you think i'm gonna go with your group like i will stand on my own if i need to stand on my own and something that i am standing 10 toes down on is what are they called 10 toes down on um i was gonna say dutch oven pizzas um oh my god um

no the midwest that oh cheese curds cheese curds i said that cheese curds were basically a mozzarella stick in a different form and people were well this is the thing i i can't support you in that because you haven't gotten the full experience of cheese curds and the way they're made is like cheese gets curdled and they like grab it at a certain point in the cheese curdling process it's like really women in stem stuff that like

You haven't had the full experience yet. I need to give it another go. And I'm open to learning more. But as an Italian, that was hilarious. I thought so too. My thing with Chicago pizza. Deep dish. If I need a fork and knife, I got to go. Got to go. To me, pizza is an on-the-go meal. And also, if it's not foldable, it's cake. I didn't ask for a dish with my pizza. It's pizza cake. Yeah.

And I'm allowed to have that opinion and other people are allowed to love Chicago Deep Dish. It's not for me, particularly. One more thing about documentaries. Someone did message me. And it's... I think I do a pretty good job at this where, like, I'll give people kind of the idea of the documentary. I won't give away any, like, big surprises or anything. Or sometimes... Look, regardless, I talk a lot about documentaries. One girl was like... I love...

I love when you do your documentary stuff because here's the thing, bitch. I'm not watching it. Why the fuck would I watch it when my other half has already watched it, dissected it, put it in MLA format and is going to give it to me. Give it all to me, bitch. I want to know the ending. This girl goes, hey, when you say your documentaries, can you please not give away what happens? Yeah.

And I was like, you're like, sorry, I have a really dumb friend on the other end of the line. No, but my thing is also like, if you didn't know that Ted Bundy killed all those women, like that's history. Like I'm not giving away a made up story. Like just Google it. It's there. So like,

I will try not to give the way of documentaries, but sometimes people just know JonBenet Ramsey wasn't found. I'm not dropping a bomb on people. You're not dropping it. That's how I feel about...

talking about Grey's Anatomy. It's history. It's her story. And I'm not living in your reality. Like in my reality, I'm on season, I'm on season 13 and all the main best people already died. So cut your freaking losses. It's literally the red wedding in Game of Thrones. Is Craig watching Grey's Anatomy with you? No, has zero interest in it. And I'm,

I love having a show that I know that there's 21 seasons that no one's bothering me about. I can skip whatever episodes I want to skip. Sometimes there's a musical episode and you know what I say? Absolutely fucking not. Next episode. I don't care what even happened on that one. If you're singing about it, it obviously wasn't that traumatic or serious or a part of the plot line. So see ya.

Something about network TV doing a musical episode. What did you guys run out of ideas? Are you on holiday? Like get your shit together. How mad were you about Glee? Never watched it. Never watched a single second of it. Want to know something crazy? Craig's favorite show in high school. I said, you have problems. Can Craig sing? You know what? He's actually not bad. I'm surprised. Like, does he sing? I'm surprised he doesn't have a cover band. But now, now Hannah, Hannah,

Do not manifest insane debauchery in my personal life because that's now you're directly coming for Craig. If something like that were to arise, him and Austin, I would be in Europe with a new name. Charleston five. Oh, Hannah, stop. This is not funny. It's not even funny to joke about. I love what you're like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I was trying to think of a band with two men. I guess you two. Milli Vanilli. Okay. I'll take your word for it. Des can actually sing too, but he doesn't. Here's the thing. You can't tell them. I've never commented on Craig singing. And if I did, you're opening a whole can of worms for me that I am not ready to do it. Well, we've been dissecting the...

trauma and drama of men who like play guitar for girls when you're trying to go back to their place and they like and our biggest thing is like they wouldn't do that to their boys like

If you want to do that to your boy, don't do it to your girl. Cause we're vulnerable. We're scared. We don't know what's going on. We're in your territory. You've taken out a weapon, a guitar, and we're forced to sit back. So it's like, you, you don't see these guys like hanging out with their friends at like 2am being like, Hey, can I play this song that I thought of? They would never do that. If I were to bring a man back to my apartment and push my interest onto him, I'm like,

You think he's going to stand in my closet and try an outfit on that I've been waiting to picture on a human, but I just don't have enough energy to put it on myself. I'm like, hey, what are your sizes again? You bring him back and you put on more clothes. You're like, hold on one second. I'm going to undress to have more clothes on. What do you think about this? I'm like, wait.

I'm having a creative vision and I feel like this skirt actually warrants like a different top. We just want equality. Okay. You guys, thank you for gigging with us. I didn't shit myself once during this podcast, which is a miracle. I think we're on the up.

We're going to Texas tomorrow. Do you have your Texas outfits planned yet? Are we wearing boots? Here's the thing. I am up on UPS tracking right now waiting to see if any of my outfits fucking come in. I'm waiting too. If they all come in, I think there's only like one that I'm like iffy about, but we're going to...

We're going to work through it. And this is just, this is my job and I have to buckle down. We're going to buckle down and we're so excited to see y'all in Texas. Also, I just announced some new working it out shows of new material where I try new jokes on people in Alabama, Irvine, California, and Texas.

Timonium, Maryland. Titimonium. Timonium. Let's go. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us. We hope we gave you an hour of light happiness. Giggle Mafia, we love you. Someone tagged us in that. Calling us Giggle Mafia and we can't stop calling ourselves that. And that's that. See ya.