Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Hello, welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. Today's gonna be a very fun, lighthearted episode. We're going back to college, again. Everyone's like, Alex, leave it in the past, leave it alone. I cannot, okay? ♪♪
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This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a
quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts
every three seconds on the app, and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.
I am like the frat boy that like comes around for like a six year. He's still going to the parties and like meeting the freshman girls. He's like 28. So that's me. We're going to be going back to the U Miami tailgate experience.
Not only are we going to talk about it, but we are actually going to go to a tailgate in this episode. You guys have no idea how dark it is about to get. But for anyone listening who didn't go to like a big school where they had a football team and they did tailgates, I'm going to tell you how they kind of go or at least how they went at U Miami. Each fraternity has their own frat house. It's right across the street from campus and they'll each host their own tailgates. At
each of these houses, they will have a big tent set up and they'll have bleachers for you to stand on. Sometimes they have mechanical bowls, little activities. They have big buckets, which are basically just trash cans filled with like beers or white claws. And tailgates are always a very, very, very, very, very dark day.
Because you are getting up at the crack ass of dawn for these tailgates. There's a rule that the tailgate has to end a few hours before the actual football game at the school. So if there's a football game that's at like noon or at 1 p.m., the tailgate has to end at like
11 a.m., which means that it has to start at like 8 a.m. So there are times where we would get up in college and start getting ready for these tailgates at 6 a.m., 7 a.m. Like it is so scary, but so fun. Best times of my life. And the thing about you Miami tailgates in particular is that nobody goes to the football games. Our stadium is about 45 minutes away. It can be like an hour with traffic. So no one actually attends the football games. I think I went to one or
two football games my whole time at the University of Miami, which is very sad. And I don't know, we kind of like our team was really, really good before I came to school. And then like they kind of fell off a little bit before. So I think people just like got uninterested and like the stadium was really far away. But that was always a part of like school spirit that I missed. Like I wish we actually went to the football games.
But we didn't. We would just party in our bikinis at these tailgates, get drunk. We would walk down the road to go to Chipotle and then we would all go to bed by like 2 p.m. And the other thing that's different about you Miami tailgates is you are in a hot, sweaty tent under the Miami sun.
you feel like you are dying in there. Like just any makeup you put on, it's coming off. Like you are going to be driblets of sweat, wet hair, like don't wear your hair down. Just not a good idea. Like it's just going to get soaked. So the attire for these tailgates is a little bit different. It's definitely not like the Southern schools that they're wearing, like very pretty dresses and cowboy boots. And like, they look so beautiful and put together and nice and classy. Um,
We're like the opposite over here. It's like usually a bikini, any type of like Miami gear that you have or like Miami colors, but we can't put on a lot of clothing because it is so hot. So, you know, we're the opposite of the Southern girlies over at Miami. It's like, you know, bikinis.
Bikini and maybe some jean shorts over it. We're just having fun. We're there for a good time So these aren't tailgates where you're at the football stadium, which is what most people think I'm, pretty sure they used to tailgate at the stadium when like everyone would go to the football games, but now everyone just Goes to the frat houses and goes to bed. There's just something about day drinking, especially in the miami heat Oh It's scary
You don't know if you're ever going to get out of there. You never want to leave. It's a dark hole in there. Like, oh, you get trapped. And I have so many scary memories at these tailgates, which is why naturally me and all my friends who graduated, we are alumni now, are going back to another college tailgate. Alex, why are you going to a tailgate?
Don't go to a college party. That's so weird. You graduated. I know. I know. But it is alumni weekend. So this is the one and only time that we have an excuse. And we're like, oh no, we're forced to go reunite with everyone. Like I really, I don't want to go back. But you know what? We're going back. And it's because we all really want to. And we have been dying for this weekend all semester. And
Not that we have a semester anymore, but we're just pretending we do and we are going back full force and all of my College best friends the ones I lived with my senior year of college They're all flying down and they're coming to stay with me in miami There's gonna be six girls staying in this apartment and honestly, it's okay now like I got some Bedside desks like you guys haven't seen these before uh furniture. Hello. I ordered a rug today um
And then the card got declined, so then I didn't order a rug, nevermind. We blew up an air mattress. We are going to be having a lot of fun this weekend.
And all of the Casa Amor girlies are back together. What's Casa Amor? That was the name of my college house my senior year. We lived six girls in this house and it basically blew up on the internet. Like this house was like infamous and it was infamous for being dirty, disgusting, filth, depression den. I think they use the word squaloring and filth. I
I don't even know what that means. But I have all the Casa Amor girls here with me and we are going to go sit on the couch in the living room. We have a couch now. We're upgrading and we are going to tell you guys what happened our senior year of college. And these are also my best friends. So obviously you guys have to meet them. Off to the living room. Here we go. Casa Amor is back in action.
This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a
quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.
in the time it takes you to get a drink, you could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it, open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. You know, I had a thought the other day. Since Rwanda jewelry becomes something we only bought on special occasions...
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Love last, see you always. Some of you guys might know, but my senior year at the University of Miami, I lived in a house. We called it Casa Amor. This house went viral across the internet for being like disgusting, filthy, trashy, cockroaches. So I have the five girls with me here today that we lived with, except Lucy. We're missing Lucy. We're missing one. Maybe we should FaceTime Lucy and like call her in. Hey! Hey!
Wait, Lucy! You're on Hot Mess with Alex Earl for Casa Amor! Hi, introduce yourself! Live from Spain! Yeah, tell them where you're living right now. I'm living in the... I just moved here to learn Spanish. It's going pretty nice. It's amazing in terms of living. We wish you were here! Guys, wait. We miss you, Lucy.
Oh my god, I'm gonna cry. Bye, queen! Bye!
We lived six girls in this college house. It literally was like, I think, three bedrooms. And we somehow like made it work with all of us. Finding a house at the University of Miami is like kind of difficult because Miami is like a very sought out area. So we finally we found this house that accepted us somehow. And we turned every crevice of the house into a bedroom. I don't even know how to begin with what my bedroom was. Basically...
It was the dining room, but the dining room that was like fully opened up to the rest of the house. So she didn't have doors. I didn't have doors. I just had no privacy. I finally got this man to come in and build extra wall and then make these makeshift build your own barn doors and
That, by the way, were installed completely crookedly. So even if my doors were shut, you could fully just see into everything. Natalie's room was the only way to get to our backyard. She was basically like half the kitchen, half the living room, half the like backdoor entrance. She had mud in her room at all times from us. When Kate made her chicken and tuna salad...
Girl, I could not sleep at night. Kristen and I had like a Jack and Jill bedroom bathroom situation. So we shared a bathroom, which was literally disgusting. So they paid me to clean their bathroom once. I washed their bath mat, literally just put it in the washer machine and then dried it. And Kristen was like, how did you get this so white? I was like, I put it in the washer. Yeah.
Kristen and I aren't dirty, but we just didn't do the best job of keeping it clean. Well, speaking of bathrooms, my room, since it was in the kitchen, didn't have a bathroom. So anytime I needed to do my business, I would have to walk through our other roommate Lucy's room. But she didn't mind. It was fine. Lucy's bedroom wasn't a real bedroom either. It was kind of just like a walkway. Yeah.
But we built a door and then we just were like, okay, this will be Lucy's room. But her room was like also the only way to get to the laundry room. We would wake Lucy up every day, like trudging through her room to get to the laundry room.
Sorry, Lucy. And then the last room was Kate and Sarah's room because that was like the master room of the house. So they shared that room. Big daddy master suite. We made it work. It was honestly, it was great. But then like visiting back this year, like this group of frat guys moved into the house and like they somehow like made it like way nicer than we had it. Like we like designed it like very poorly. I thought my room was a pad, but...
Yeah. But the way that the new guy did it was so much better. How did we get the name Casa Amor for the house? It's because that summer we were obsessed with Love Island. Oh, we were obsessed with Love Island. I think I came up with the name. You did. It was perfect. So basically, somehow...
We lived six girls in this house that was not meant for six people, but we made it work. And it turned into this like viral internet sensation of a like disgusting, filthy house. Partially, this is my fault, or I guess all my fault. Yeah.
Partially. Because she's nasty. No, I was going to say because I posted it. I guess I am part of the mess too. We had a lot of cockroaches in the house that were not my fault. Alex is painting a false narrative. What? We didn't have that many roaches. We had five roaches. And by the way, they were all dead. So we had an exterminator. I think five is a lot. Yeah.
Yeah, but also, wait. I think this is a false narrative because there was at least three in my room. Well, that's, yo, bro. Roach is like the mess. I would pick up my purse in this house and like get ready to go out. I would keep all my clothes on the floor and like there would literally be a cockroach under my purse. And I was like, I'm just going to wear a different one today. The only other place that we found a roach was the kitchen. We found like three. Wait, we found a lot. Remember we found one like in the cabinets, like in the plates? Yeah.
Guys, I think we're miscounting the road trips. Not in the living room. There was five total. Just the kitchen and then me and Kate's bathroom. But they were already there. This reminded me of something, though.
We, at one point, did a light little prank wars. Oh my god! So, who was it that bought the cockroach clips? Lucy! Oh, okay. Lucy has all of these niche little trinkets. And one of those trinkets were these cockroach clips. And they literally looked like real cockroaches. And she planted them around the house just to get our reactions. And when Alex found hers under her pillow in her bed...
It was not that bad of a reaction. She was like, okay. Because I was used to seeing cockroaches. I think I jumped a little bit, but like...
They were like my friendly neighbors at this point. They were my roommates and whatever. If they were living, that would be a different story. Yeah, a lot of them were dead. Also in Florida, it's like very common. The one in our shower was alive. Lucy bought a birdhouse to paint during the hurricane. That's the most Lucy thing ever to do. Lucy had like a birdhouse, so she painted it and called it Casa Cucaracha. And like she put little cockroach traps in there. And I also posted that. So that also aided to like...
the house going viral as being like disgusting there there is just no way though that people really thought the cockroach knew that they were that was their house and to climb in there like what people were like wow they really got a house for the roaches like what they're having a party in there but yeah and there was one point when it got so bad with like the articles coming out about our house being filthy that everyone thought they weren't gonna get jobs that was so
Post-grad because they were like alex is like you need to like take all this down I feel like if you live in a college house, you just know the way it goes like you go out There's drinks and like food the next morning after going out like clothes like ours just happened to be even messier because I had 5 000 pr boxes a day And we didn't have enough room. I feel like for like the amount of people in the house So it was like a little bit messier. Sarah was our built-in cleaner nanny everything she would get up and like
like whip it into shape every day and then I would come through like a tornado we don't give you enough creds for that I just can't deal with mess some of our senior year was like a little bit different because they kind of I guess like got a following on social media our senior year so there was there was a lot of eyes on us like at all times which I think was really different and like weird for me but also like weird for my friends and new for everyone so it's like
I don't know, like I feel like we had a lot of eyes on us at all times and like our senior year was pretty public. Well you know what's crazy is when we went to Ibiza this summer, we're at dinner and they bring out a dessert thing that says Casa Amorana. I'm like the fact that people in Ibiza know the name of our college house is insane. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like we just don't really think of it that way though. And then like we kind of forget that sometimes people are watching us and like...
I have to say I have really great supportive friends because I feel like some people would freak out a little bit. So you guys are really nice about that. Alex was...
seriously amazing at handling everything and also whenever there would be so much PR bitch I would get my claws in there endless makeup Natalie is well we all know she's manic but she literally would come running out of her room if she even she would be taking a nap and literally would rise out of bed if she saw Alex it's like that meme where they like rise from the dead I would go like that like literally straight to the PR
Okay, and I would get great things. Remember when we wore the fireball merch? Oh my God, the fireball merch. Also in our house, we got a ring camera because we needed extra security, you know, and we caught so many funny things on the ring camera on the front of our house. Anytime someone would have a boy over or we would host things, we'd get to see all of the comings and goings and all of the conversations leading up to walking into our house.
There was guys that would sit outside and like we caught them one time being like, no, you go first. No, you go first. No, no, you go first. And we were like watching these guys like scared to walk into our house. Can I tell a Kate story? I think this is our craziest ring camera story. This is after Alex and Grant's wedding, the frat wedding. And we go home. We're all like changing, getting ready for bed.
who just had wisdom teeth surgery. I went to the wedding with like the puffiest face in the entire world. Another thing about the house is we didn't have ice. So the only ice that we had was in the back fridge. And I think it was like leftover from parents weekend in September. And this was in February. So it was literally hard as a rock. And,
And whatever. So Kate, I guess, goes back there. We don't know this yet. I'm sitting in bed. I hear slamming. Like I thought it was thunder. Like it was the loudest thing I've ever heard. Like, and it was for like, it was for like two minutes. So I was like, all right, like what the fuck is going on? And I get like a ring thing. Cause it says like there's activity at the back room. So I go on the ring and I look through the footage. Kate is in, and it's in black and white cause the lights are off.
Kate is in this gown, the bridesmaid gown from the wedding. She's jackhammering the ice with a huge knife with a weight. Oh, that's even worse. A 10 pound barbell weight. And this goes on for like two minutes. Then silence. And she walks out like that demon nun from that movie, just like in her creepy dress back out. Yeah.
And we literally like watch this footage like the rest like I need to see it now. I thought that our house was getting broken into and we were getting murdered because all we hear is like bam, bam, bam, bam. And this thing it's like actually like a horrid movie of Kate like coming out in the middle of the night in this gown like this with a knife like.
I also kid you not, like I got things, I think like not much ice for it. Like it was literally like nothing. Like I got no work done. So it was paranormal activity, demonic shit. What else did we catch on the ring?
People throwing up often. I think just having a ring, not only for safety, but for memory purposes, like on a college house is essential because like you're seen every single time that you get out of an Uber, like coming back into your house after going out and like the things that you catch, like
just like rolling around on the grass it has all the receipts another part of our house was that it was kind of like all the rooms were like one wall to another so like we were all connected in some sort of way so like anytime someone like brought a guy back like everyone could hear everything i mean i had no doors there was no doors
We were all just one big happy family. Do you guys remember when we had the pumpkins for Halloween? I have a picture. I literally just texted Kristen asking for a picture of that. I have it. We had like a pumpkin carving party at our house and like all of our friends came over. So we had like 12 pumpkins on like our front steps and we went to Key West for Halloween. We like came back after the weekend and like think about these pumpkins sitting out in like the Miami sun and
we come back in these pumpkins this was like my worst nightmare happening it it was actually like our house was like filled with like these maggots all over these pumpkins there was like a cloud of flies in front of the front door yeah like we came back from vacation and it's like oh okay like our whole house is taken over by the pumpkin invader bugs that was one thing i did not clean because i didn't carve them i was like you bitches can clean this
I got a shovel. Yeah, we did have to get a shovel and we had to like shovel them away. I remember seeing Lucy running all the bugs flying in her face and then she has to throw it in the woods. No, it was like pick it up with the shovel run as as fast as you can without it hitting your face and like chuck it into the woods to like our neighbor's house. Probably the biggest prank of Casa Amor that still lives on to this day is Lucy, the one roommate who's not here with us right now, bought a
Like a thousand of these like little mini plastic babies. Like, you know, like the king cake, like Mardi Gras babies. I didn't know this was like going on. I come home one day and I'm like...
rummaging through like the disgusting jungle of my room and I see like these babies and I was like oh okay like some babies on the floor whatever I like I go to like wash my face and I like pull up the like container for like my face wash babies over there I was like oh okay I go in the toilet like babies in the toilet I was like wait what and then I like go to get like my pajamas out babies in my pajama drawer I go to under my covers for bed babies in my bed I'm like what is going on with these babies right now
There was babies in the fish tank. Every time that we thought there was no more babies to be found. There's babies still to this day. We went to the Hamptons this summer. Babies come out. NFL man has a baby in his house from this prank. Like these babies, like they just multiply. They're like little gremlins. They multiply and they're everywhere. And like you guys have babies in your room too. I have five babies in my house. There's babies in my parents' house. Maybe.
My mom brought them home. They've traveled everywhere. Like, I wonder how long this baby prank will live on for. It was in the plants. It was in the fish tank, candles. So in this house, you guys know from episode one that we like went back to this college house, deleted the pictures on the fridge. Basically, like we had this smart fridge for anyone who doesn't know. And we would upload or Natalie would upload fridge pictures of the week. And like some of them were like funny pictures. Some of them were like
Us naked, like whatever it was around the house, she would upload weekly. Since our fridge was like a smart fridge, I like found a way to connect my phone to it. And every single morning it would be like a nice surprise.
It was a nice surprise, right? Yeah. It was a Natalie surprise. Yeah. And I would just like rummage through my camera roll every night and find like the weirdest content I could find. It would date way back all the way to like freshman year, sophomore year stuff. And then I kind of forgot about it probably three months into living in the house and it just stopped being a ritual. And then my phone broke, got a new phone, completely forgot about the entire thing until...
My sister who goes to U Miami still gets a snapshot from a frat boy who lives in our house. And it was an extremely embarrassing picture of me getting like licked by a dog in my mouth. Yeah.
I uploaded myself. I did this to myself. And I'm, like, in New York. I start writing in our group chat, code red, code red, code red. Like, I fucked up. I did. I'm sorry, guys. We all... That slipped all of our minds, though. Like, that did not... Yeah, that did not... Wait, I feel like I remember, though, like, right before we left, we were like, guys, like, we need to, like, delete those photos before we leave. I don't remember that at all. I feel like I thought that...
they would just I don't know I was like I guess they would just reset it yeah since I didn't have that phone because it had broken there was no way of me like going in and connecting it and deleting anything there were also like there was also a note section that I would like write really cryptic poems on and stuff and just like write little notes so I doubt that part was deleted it's just
Just thinking about that right now. Natalie's definitely our weirdest friend. Our little weirdo. Thank you. That's what I was referencing the other episode. I go, Natalie's definitely our weirdest friend. I just want to give a shout out to all the fans of my Shakira impression.
Do you want to do it again? Absolutely not. That was a one-time thing. There are other impressions that might come out at later times, but yeah. I know something that we could talk about that I think is important for the public to know. Our house ritual movie.
We put this movie on every night because we were just so fascinated by it. Not because it was a good movie, because it was like weird. And also just like, I don't know. We felt a connection to her, but we watched barbarian.
Every single night. And if you know this movie, you know what I'm talking about. But if you don't, it's like this naked woman that lives in a basement. And she's barbarian. And we just really felt a deep connection to this movie. We watched it every night. I still never seen it. I feel so left out of this. I'd never have seen it. Where were you? It's like the funniest... I hate scary movies and it's scary. No, it's funny. We would watch horror movies every night. Most of the time, Barbarian. But I feel bad because...
All of us are huge psychological thriller lovers and Kristen... I love a psychological thriller. You do not? Like when it's horror involved? Yeah. So Kristen would have to just not sit with us. So she sat out on The Barbarian. Barbarian wasn't horror. It was so good. I love it. I like tried to watch it and there was like a couple jump scares. She was so cute. We should be her for Halloween. Oh my God, that is so good.
The big booby lady. That and Dumb and Dumber we watched so much. We had a great senior year. We were all best friends. We're like sisters. And our time was wrapping up. Honestly, this wasn't even like the end of the year. I think this was January. I was like crying about moving out already. Like we just had one of the BWEs, which is... It was the BWE.
Because we had so many plans lined up The best weekend ever Alex got married on Friday Yeah I got married Boat day Saturday The horse race We went to like a fun dinner that night Everything was just like
lining up amazing, perfect. It was the BWE. And we were like in our feels about graduating because we were like, this is so much fun. Like life is just going to go downhill after this. Alex was bawling her ass out in the car. Yeah. And then we came back to our house and we had like a dance party, just like the six of us. And we all were like going wild. Like that was like, that was like truly like the freest I've ever been. We like...
We were moving in ways that like you wouldn't know. We were dancing like no one was watching. We all put our phones down. We literally like blasted music. We were like dancing. Like some of us were getting naked. Like we were running around the house. Like it was like a ritual. And like we were just like letting, we were letting go. So right now the reason everyone's back here is because it's University of Miami alumni weekend. But it's...
Yeah. So we're going back down tomorrow morning. We're going to a tailgate, which is basically like the frat houses throw these like tailgate parties for the football team. So, or for the football games. So we're going to the frat houses tomorrow morning for a university of Miami tailgate. We're going to put on our,
We are ready for the U Miami tailgate. We have our bikini and sneakers outfit.
Here's a full 360. I'm so excited. We're going over to Brooke and Anna's to pregame for the tailgate. We're doing bagels, decorations, and I'm taking you guys with me. Let's go. ♪♪♪
We've been pre-gaming for like two hours now. We're about to go to the tailgate. *Celebration*
We love Alex! We love Alex! From Australia to me! She's international! She's international! We love you Alex! Girl, she's so real! She's so fucking real! I love her! We love Alex! We love Alex!
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joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you. No, no, no, no, no, no. Going to that tailgate was a bad idea. I am now a few days out from this tailgate and I'm still recovering. That was a horrible idea. There's a reason that you graduate college because you cannot do that to your body anymore. I really, I don't know what happened to me.
The tailgate got the best of me. You guys got the best of me because we were having so much fun and I was trying to like be a show off and be cool. I need to walk you through what happened. So we start off the day and we started with mimosas.
Never a good idea for Big Al. Never a good idea. Every time I start with mimosas, it ends in a black hole of a dark day that should never have seen the day of light. I don't even know if that makes sense, but it was really scary. So we went to my friend's apartment. We had the guys over. We're all drinking. We're having a good time. Everyone's back in their college spirit. Really starting off the day strong. Now, I'm going to tell you a story.
The one thing I didn't tell you before about tailgates is that they don't have hard liquor in there. So a lot of times what people do is they fill up a water bottle and they fill it with like vodka or tequila just straight and bring it into the tailgates. And that's probably part of the reason that the days always turn so dark. But
I was left holding the bottle of vodka for this tailgate. This was probably not my wisest decision because we brought the cameras to the tailgate and I mean, the amount of...
you Miami girls that were just so nice and like everyone was saying hi I was hugging everyone we were drinking together we were having so much fun like not a good idea for me to have the vodka water bottle in my hand immediately upon arrival I'm feeling the sweat and the stench of the frat boys and I
I was just like, this is going to be a dark day for Big Al. But I was having the time of my life. So in the midst of this, I'm sipping on my vodka water bottle. I'm chugging drinks with people. We're like shotgunning. And this guy comes up to me with a phone and he's like, hey, I have a question about like Hot Mess Podcast.
Why, Alex? Why would you open your mouth? Why would you think this is this is a great time for me to record something that who knows what's going to come out of my mouth and who knows what social media platform this is going to be on? I'm going to play the clip for you guys so you guys can hear what I sound like. I know you just started hot mess. What was the inspiration behind it?
That's me saying, I just want people to get to know me better. Like, what voice? And that, I remember saying that, and I remember thinking, like, oh, I answered this question, like, good. Like, that was fine. And then he was like,
What's for... What else is to come on Hot Mess with Alex Earl? And I was like, subscribe. It's a surprise, bitches. Like, oh my God. I don't know what I was saying. That was so embarrassing. So I come back from the tailgate and I like turn on my phone and I see that like this video is on TikTok. And I'm like, what am I saying in this? What am I doing? And I hear my voice say, I just want people to get to know me better. And I was like...
Like, why do I never learn? Like, just shut your mouth, Alex. Just don't speak. So that did not aid to the anxiety that I was having after this day. Also at this tailgate, all of my friends left after like an hour or so. They were like, okay, we've had enough. Not me. Not me. I was having a, I was having the best time ever. And you know where I was? You know where I was? In the DJ booth. What is with me?
And it's not even a DJ booth. It's like a fake one that the frats build. It's like a wooden platform that you're standing on and like swaying from side to side because at any moment it's going to break because these frat guys probably built it with like sticks and leaves. Sticks and leaves. And I'm here looking...
watching the dj spin his tracks i'm like wow this is amazing i remember i had like a white claw and i was trying to be cool and like throw it on everyone and like spray it like it was champagne but it's not so like why would i do that and i just chucked the like white claw can out of my hand on accident and it bonked this girl in the head i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i was hanging over the ledge i was embracing the sweat i thought i could dance like shakira i was
I was, oh my God, it was getting dark. So we went from this first frat and then I was like, okay, but we haven't seen this other one. Like we have to go to another one. Kristen did not want to go, but I was like, Kristen, just come with me. We're going to have fun. So I dragged Kristen there and we get to the second frat and this is where things were very, especially dark.
And mind you, all of this is happening while I'm sipping on this vodka water bottle like it's a regular Poland Springs. And here I go sipping away, sipping into my darkness. Now we're at this other frat and we're there for probably like 30, 40 minutes. And Kristen's like, Alex, like it's time to go. Like we have a car here. Like it's time to wrap it up. And I'm like, wait, what? I said to Kristen, just go without me. I said, go home without me.
for me to be left alone at this college frat who I don't really know anyone and just like partying alone in this DJ booth. What? Like, thank God Kristen's a good friend because she goes, Alex, and she knows me so well. She's like, Alex, get over here. She's like a mom. She's like, get your ass over here. Get in the car. And I was like, oh, okay. Like, whatever. This is so sad. Thank God. Because if I had stayed any longer, who knows what would have happened? Horrible, terrible, disgusting day.
And I think that has to be my last time at a U Miami tailgate until maybe alumni weekend next year. Maybe I can pull up a little bit more suave and put together. But this year I really went full force big L. There is one story, though, that sticks out to me in particular when talking about college tailgates. And this was my freshman year. And I still think about this story very often. This is my Roman Empire, I think.
because I left this tailgate thinking I had an STD so let me take you back this tailgate in particular had a mechanical bowl which is obviously so fun and you know like drunk girls like they're eating that up like I'm in my skirt I'm flying around I had my little game day outfit on at this time it was very popular to wear these like pleated like cheerleader skirts to the tailgates and
So I rode that bull not once not twice Probably like 20 times that day thinking that it was just like the coolest thing anyone's ever seen after the tailgate I go home. I sleep I had you know, my chipotle like usual and I wake up the next morning I'm showering in the communal showers, which are just never cute either and i'm like looking at my legs I go to shave them. I'm like, what are all these bumps? and my mind immediately
flashes to an STD. You might be thinking why, but one job I had when I was in high school was
The girl there told me that this girl she knew went to a bar. She rode a mechanical bull. She had shorts on and she got like an STD situation all over her legs. It was very not cute. Like it was like, like, oh my God, I just, I can't not cute. So I look at my legs and I'm like, oh my God, I have the bull riding an STD. Oh my God, what am I going to do? And like,
I don't have a car like I don't have my parents here Not that I would tell my parents but i'm like, what what do I do at this point? So my friend hannah was a nursing major And for some reason, um, I she's probably taking not one nursing class and i'm like thinking that she can save my life so I trudge over to her dorm. I'm like Freaking out. I'm shaking tears in my eyes. I'm like i'm like knocking on her door I'm, like something really bad happened to me And I need to tell you
Wait, I think Hannah's here right now. Hannah! Wait, I'm going to go get Hannah because she's actually in my apartment. You don't even have to be in it. Do you remember when I came to your room after the tailgate and I thought I had an STD? Guys, it was scary. It was scary, right? I don't, it was like bumps everywhere. And I was like, oh, she's a nursing. All, all, I'll visualize. All down the, all down the inner thighs. Yeah.
This girl comes in and she's like, Hannah, she's like, Hannah, you're a nursing major. I'm like, first of all, I'm taking bio and like first year math. But I'm literally like goggles on, like, let's investigate. Let's look at what this is. She's spread eagle. And I'm like in there like, yeah, that's syphilis. Like for sure. I'm looking on WebMD. But you had a like kit, like a safety kit under your bed for some reason. Yeah.
She pulls out this kit and she's putting like bandages on me. I don't know why we thought that would get rid of it. Alcohol prep the area. Give me a scalpel. We're going in. But did you tell them what it ended up being? It was just rug burn from the not rug burn, bull burn. It was just bull burn from the tailgate. That was scary. But I was just telling the story and I was like, holy shit, Hannah's here. She needs to tell this. So, yeah, that's how I thought I got an STD from a bull. That was a fun one.
Anywho, you get the point. Tailgates are very scary and dark and twisted, and they're also the best part of college. So as this episode comes to an end, I would usually do a what would Alex do segment. But every time you guys write in questions, it is always about toxic boys and toxic relationships. And I feel like I always say that I'm like, oh, so nonchalant with guys and whatever. But there is a reason for that.
Big Al got her heart broken, cheated on a million times. And I feel like I need to tell you guys this story because I think that it's going to make you guys feel better because reading these things from you, I'm like, oh my gosh, girl, like get out of there. And I need to tell you how I got out of that toxic relationship because
And it was also my first love. So next week, we are going to be taking another trip down memory lane. And you guys need... Just stay tuned. You guys have no idea. The stuff that I put up with, I'm like, oh my gosh. And...
Girlies out there are probably putting up with it too. So next week's episode is going to be a fun experience for all of us because what better to relate on than shitty, toxic guys, toxic relationships. It's just the best. And sadly, we've all gone through it or you're going through it right now and you don't know. So wake up.
I will see you guys next Thursday, though. I am so excited for this episode. Stay tuned. Don't forget to follow and subscribe to this podcast. Give it a rating. Give it a check. Say you like me. Maybe you don't, but just say you do. Love you guys all. I will see you next Thursday for another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. Bye.
Toxic boys! Woo woo woo woo woo!