Meet The Earles
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Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. Today we're switching it up a little bit. We're back home in New Jersey. This is my dog Luna Bear. She's the cutest. I'm at my mom's house right now, but it feels so good to be back home and I want you guys to see what life in Jersey is like for me, meet my family. Can you stop? No. Yeah. Whatcha? Are you guys not on me? Yeah. Yeah.

I desperately needed to come home for the holidays. I'm having like a little bit of a crisis right now because...

I'm loving being back so much. And maybe it's just because I've had a chaotic month, but I'm like texting my friends. I'm like, wait, should I move back to New Jersey? Like, should I just move back in home with my family? And they're like, Alex, you would lose your mind. But being home has just been so nice for me. I'm loving every second of it.

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This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.

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So I grew up in New Jersey, specifically Monmouth County, New Jersey, which is like central Jersey. So it's like in the middle, I would say not too north, not too south, but right by the beach. And you guys may have seen the show Jersey Shore with like Snooki and Pauly D. And

That's like 20 minutes south of me. So that's called Seaside. And like we would literally go there for like after proms and stuff. That's a whole nother part of New Jersey there. But I am a Jersey girl at heart. I just I love the people here. I love the food here.

I like being here. Sometimes I don't really love the winters, but Jersey girls, they're just a breed of their own. A little crazy, a lot of fun, and I don't live too far from New York City, so growing up with a lot of the times we would take a train and like go out in the city in high school, and this where I'm at right now is my mom's house, and this isn't the house that I grew up in. It's like 10 minutes from here, but we moved out of that like two summers ago, so that's where I

I grew up with like my mom, my dad, my sister Ashton, and then my parents got divorced and my dad moved like 30 minutes north of here in a town called Red Bank. And that's where I went to high school. And my mom moved here to Point Pleasant. So it's like a 30 minute drive back and forth between my parents' house, which isn't too bad. But I feel like anyone who has divorced parents can relate. You're like going back and forth between houses, like packing a weekend bag. I only had like

pajamas ever maybe at my dad's house and I literally did it this morning. I packed up my suitcases, left my dad's house, came here. But on today's episode, I am gonna sit down with my mom. I want her to talk to you guys about me. She's probably gonna like

shit on me and say that I'm crazy and a mess, so just be prepared. But my mom is really like my best friend. We're so similar. So I feel like that will be fun for you guys to get to meet her. And then we're going to meet my little siblings a little bit. You're going to meet my stepmom and my dad. I've been here for Thanksgiving week. So going out for Thanksgiving Eve, we all went to NFL Man's football game yesterday, which was a lot of fun. That was like the first football game my family's ever been to.

They know nothing about sports, which you will see in this episode. Just wait. Right now, I'm going to run over to Hazel Boutique, which is where I used to work. That's where this sweatset is from. I worked there from like sophomore year of high school until sophomore year of college, and they're the best. I really miss them. I haven't seen them in a minute, so I'm going to go stop over there, say hi, and then I'm going to go to Hazel Boutique.

Let me know, but I feel like that would be funny if I did a segment there where they tell you guys how Big Al was as an employee and at work. And when they first met me, I was super shy. So I feel like we have a lot of funny stories together. So maybe Christmas break when I come home, we'll record with them, the Hazel Boutique girls. But yeah, I've been pretty emotional this week. I don't know what has gotten into me.

I've just been loving being home, and I've also been having a crisis where I don't know if I want to live in Miami anymore, and I don't even like to say that out loud because I've only really been thinking this for the past, like, week or two, but I kind of want to move, and not that I don't love Miami. I do love Miami and, like, love the warm weather, and I love all my friends there, but I feel like I've...

lived there for four or five years now and I kind of like know everything there. I know everyone there and it doesn't feel as much of like a big city feel to me anymore. Like I like to feel lost. I like to feel lost in the sauce, have no idea what's going on and

It feels to me there like I know it a little bit too well, like it's too comfortable. I want to like be uncomfortable again. If that makes any sense, it probably doesn't. But I want to be like out of my comfort zone. I like I don't know. I get bored with things always. Like I am such an antsy person. I always like to like challenge myself and try different things. And I

I don't know, but maybe I'm just like going crazy right now. So I have no idea if this is actually like a real thought in my head or if I'm just like,

going crazy. I would like to go to New York. I love New York, but the winters are so brutal and like I really don't like the cold weather, so I don't know if I would do New York. LA, I mean California in general is like so pretty. I don't know if I would like LA. Like I don't know if I would like fit in there or if I would like the people there or the scene there. That to me feels very scary and like I would get sucked into this like Hollywood world, but I'm also just being dramatic right now, so...

I'm not really sure. Can you guys tell me where I should live? Or maybe I'll just, like, hop around every few months. I don't know. I do love Miami, though.

It's so funny, though, because when I went to college, the first second that I stepped into my dorm room, I was like, I'm never going home. I never want to go back to New Jersey. I never once got homesick in college. Like going home for the holidays was so upsetting to me. I never wanted to be home. And now like going home, I feel like as you get older and stuff like Thanksgiving, it wasn't like that important to me. But like now family time and just like.

being around people who feel like normal is just so refreshing. I feel like a lot of the times I'm out or going to events with people and like the only conversations that you're having over and over again are like,

What event are you going to after this? What after party? Or, like, who styled you? What designer are you wearing? Or who did your glam for this? Like, it's just so superficial at times. And not that it's anyone's fault. Like, no one knows each other and everyone's just trying to make small talk and talk about what they can. But...

It's just been so nice being home and like seeing people from high school who are literally just like, hey, what's up? Like remember when we did this or that and just like refreshing. So I've just been loving this Jersey moment and being home and it's really felt so comforting to me. And there's something so special about going home and being back in your parents' house of just, I don't know, feeling like a kid again and having them take care of you and

Last Christmas I got sick and I laid in bed and like just having my mom like put a towel on my head It's it's so nice. I'm gonna go hop back over to where I used to work and then my mom's getting ready right now We're gonna sit down

She's a little nervous, so she was like, maybe we could do like a mommy mimosas segment so we can have mimosas while we podcast. It's just very on brand. She's like, Alex, I'm way too nervous to get on there and talk. I need a glass of champagne. So we're going to sit down with the woman who birthed Big Al, and she's definitely where I get my crazy from. You guys will see. So this should be a fun one.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never going to happen.

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.

This episode is brought to you by Joiba Bubble Tea. If you're a fan of bubble tea, then you guys have to try this range from Joiba. I've seen this all over my TikTok and personally, my little siblings are obsessed with this Joiba Bubble Tea. They show me videos all the time. So Joiba Bubble Tea, it comes in several delicious flavors.

Here she is, our special guest, my mother.

Hello. Welcome to Hot Mess, Mom. Thank you. This is the one who created the hot mess. I did. We wanted to have mimosas on this segment because we thought it could be fun like mother and mimosas, but we forgot orange juice, so we're just going to be having champagne. Okay. All right. Glug, glug, glug. Wear them up. Glug, glug, glug. Uh-oh. You have to tip the champagne glass to the side so you don't

Cheers. This is my mother. And I guess you probably know me better than anyone. I do. I feel like lately I don't know you at all, though. I haven't seen you. I know. I miss you. So this is good to come home. But I feel like how would you describe me to you?

As a child or growing up? Well, as a little child, a baby, you were perfect. Close to perfect. She was an angel child. Smart, cute, sweet. And you were just smart and friendly. And then she became a little... And then what happened? I don't know. Then you turned nine? Yeah.

And you became a little devilish. You'd just walk up to your sister and slap her across the face or hit her across the head with a curling iron, or you'd kick me in the head if I came after you. So she was a little crazy, but she's calmed down a little bit since she's moved out. I thought we weren't going to make me look like a bitch. I thought you wanted me to tell the truth. Oh.

Do you want to know, like, what you were like in high school? Yeah. As a daughter, as a child, as... I don't know. What intel does Mama Alex have? You were, like, the leader of the pack without being the leader of the pack. You like to initiate, like, plan every party, plan every outfit for...

every event that was going on and plan every event let's do this you would never let me have parties in high school but then i would always convince her to let me have them i would be like mom i promise months for like a special occasion like a birthday for her to wear me down it's just going to be a couple people but no i didn't want parties at my house i was single mom at home you kids were under age you said you're not going to be drinking but i knew that

That was not true. And yeah, there was, you broke me down. You can speak. You broke me down a few times. Yeah. If my birthday, if my birthday, well, my birthday is in December. So I would start planning the begging for a birthday party in like August. And it would be like a hard no in August. Like it's not happening in September. It was like, no, it's not happening. But like, she didn't scream as much about it. Then by the time we got to like October, she was like,

you know what maybe we'll see we'll see what your father says maybe and then by november it was like i'm not sure and even up until the night of the party we were never sure if it was going to happen but i was like mom they're all coming over so we have to say yes and then and then i'd say they could come for a little bit and i'd literally order

100 pizzas. Yeah. She would try to turn the lights on at the party. I'd have a lot of food, so everybody would eat. I was shoving food and giving them napkins. Yeah. And then trying to kick everybody out. Yeah. She would come and kick everyone out. And I was like, Mom, the party's not over yet. She would dance with us a little bit. Sometimes. But I think...

You guys lost trust in me for having parties when I was in like seventh or eighth grade when I had our whole entire county over at my house. Yeah, that started with, Mom, I'm going to have a small party. I said, I don't know. I don't think that's a good idea. We had a pool in the backyard. I just wasn't sure what was going on. I'm just going to have some friends over from a couple of different schools. What? What?

I mean, I just wanted to have this like summer party. This is like if you ask my parents about Alex's big party, they are going to bring up this day and they'll never let me live it down. So I said finally she broke me down to have the party and I spoke to her dad. Her dad said he wasn't coming. I said I need like some help. I'm a little afraid. She needed backup. I'm a little afraid. Then I started getting the day before free.

from other parents saying, do you know what's going on? Do you know how many people are going to be at your house? Well, that's because she took my phone away or like my iPad away or something. So I was like, well, I don't know how to invite people to this party because I don't have any means of inviting people. So I had one of my friends. I was like, hey, could you invite people for me? And I'm pretty sure...

I also like maybe went on her phone and like logged into Twitter and like tweeted out my house address. So I was like, hey guys, having this massive party at my house. And I'm in like seventh or eighth grade at this point. She wasn't just graduated eighth. Were you going into eighth grade? No, I think I was going into eighth grade. I think she was going into eighth grade. So like I was having the project X. That was going into high school. Yeah. Yeah.

I was having the Project X party and we accidentally invited like 500 people. So when the parents started calling me, I called her father and I said, listen, she's doing this. You have to come over and help me because I don't, I know I'm going to have to call the police on myself to get these people out of my house. So he shows up. It's not going to be a big deal. I said, I'll get food, whatever. Kids started showing up in Ubers outside the house and he,

her father's outside looking out the window going who the hell is this this kid's taller than i am these big boys i don't know where they were coming from big boys he runs out on the lawn starts questioning people as they're walking in mind you i was like so embarrassed because when you're having a party and you're young you're like stop like parents get away and i was trying to be like so cool having this party no one was even drinking though because we were so young like everyone just wanted everyone was just happy to like

I was just happy to be around boys. It was like so cool that we could all just like hang out together. I think some people snuck some stuff in. Maybe. I would say you were a pretty cool mom. I think she was a cool mom. She certified. Oh, thank you. Yeah. How am I now? You wouldn't know. You're a cool mom. Thanks, mom. Thanks, mom. Thanks, Alex. Oh, why don't you tell them a little bit about yourself? Where did you grow up?

Oh, I'm from a suburb of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I was a Green Bay Packer fan, still am. And now I'm a little bit of a Dolphins fan. Yeah. And where, I don't know, I grew up in a nice little suburb area. City of Milwaukee is small, but not far from Chicago, like an hour away, but still a nice little city. Started off in University of Minnesota, then transferred to a small school down in Boca Raton.

And then I ended up in New Jersey because I took a job after college in New York City. And here I am. Here you are, the shining star, Miss Alyssa. How did you come up with the name Alex? So, I don't know. I like the name. I like the sound of the name Alex. And I did not like...

the name Alexandra at the time because there was a show on TV. What was it called? I can't remember. But there was a girl named Lexi and I didn't want her to be called Lexi. So that's why I did the I. I thought A-L-I-X. No one can say Lexi because it would be like Alex. Well, actually, one of my ex-boyfriends did name me Lexi. Oh, really? Chad. Oh, really? His family named me Lexi. Oh, really? So...

That didn't last. So I always get the question, is my name actually just a L I X? It's not short for anything. It's just Alex. Right. Right. That should be it. That's it. So yeah, I don't get to see her too much anymore. I would like to live closer to my children and see them all the time. Cause they're like the happiest part of my life.

Aww. Yeah. We love you. Yeah, I love you too. Me and my mom are like the same person that we're both rattling our feet the same way. We do. Like, that's why I think we would butt heads sometimes just because we're both so similar. Yes. Like, we're a little bit both crazy. Yes. So we've learned, I think each of us have learned a few skills to not irritate each other too much. My mom is...

to every single thing. Not every single thing. Every single thing. No. I don't think we've ever been on time to something. Not like a wedding or a graduation or something important. I don't know about that. Communion. What was that, 20 years ago? No.

everything else the one thing she can remember being on time too i was in second grade no mom i mean like love you to death but being on time no it's not my there was like a rule that we would have to tell her and that i would have to like tell her boyfriends when they met her i'm like if you want her ready in 20 minutes you have to tell her an hour if you want her ready in five minutes you are worse than me now

No, I'm not. Oh, yes, you are. I'm not. Okay, we'll agree to disagree, but you are worse than me now. And her father was, used to be always on time. With work and stuff and stuff I have to be to, I'm on time. Okay, and so am I. It's something that's important, but like dinner, maybe not. Maybe I'll be a few minutes late for every workout class, but...

But it's not like uber important if I don't make it. Uber. I'm not going to devastate somebody. I don't want to be late for somebody's wedding or. Our dog is taking a shit right in front of us right now. We have a great view of her squatting down. My mom has two dogs.

Yeah, Luna and Coda. You have to meet them. They're so cute. I showed them before a little bit. But my mom has always been... She's an animal lover and always been into rescuing dogs. So a lot of the time...

We've had rescue dogs and some of them are nice, not nice. We have little whippersnappers. Oh my God, Luna's turds are flying through the air. What do you mean? I literally just looked and saw a poop log flying in front of my face. What a great view. Welcome to our home. You're Luna's favorite.

Just like Percy. Yeah. All the dogs like me. I think I'm a dog whisperer. Yeah. In my second life. Or maybe I was a dog. You and Luna kind of look alike, though. Yeah, I guess so. They have the same eyes. I guess so, yeah. My mom and dad got divorced when I was in, like, second grade. And you're not remarried. She's still in the dating pool. And I think, I don't know...

I definitely get my relationship dating style or something from you. Please don't. Hey, I was married with the same person for 18 years. Yeah. I was happy. Things happen, though. But, like, I don't know.

But I got married young. You change and mature and grow into who you really are. So you just take your time a little bit. You're not going to rush into anything. And you don't feel the... It was a little different when I was younger. That scares me. The fact that people are my age and getting engaged makes me... I don't know. I feel like I can barely commit to dating someone. I mean, you know this. I'm crazy. Yes. But you have a good guy. I do now. Yes.

Mama approves of Braxton. But you also really like every boyfriend that I have. I am endeared to everyone. Every one of your boyfriends has been kind and cute and sweet, but I didn't date them. But what I will tell you about the current boyfriend, Braxton, is what I... She's like afraid to say his name. She's like, am I allowed to say it right now? What...

What I really, really liked about him is he's charismatic. He likes to have fun with Alex. He's not at all jealous or insecure around her. So that is very important to me and to her. It's hard to find somebody like that is what I've told her. Not that she really listens to me. But he is...

And he's a friend. He likes to have fun. And he's has cut off. The phone is ringing on the internet. Everyone says I go out too much or they call me an alcoholic. Okay. What do you have to say to that? I mean, I could see why people would think that, but you're only showing that side of things, that side of things and that you did just graduate college and college is

Most kids are doing the same thing, just in different degrees or different realms. Not everyone's in Miami. From what you know of Big Al...

You like to have fun. Yeah. And I have a lot of energy, too. A lot of people say that I'm doing drugs every night. I go out. I'm just a fun time. Sorry. You don't do drugs. No. No. No. She goes, no. I'm the same way. I'm old. Yeah. And all my friends say, I don't know how you have the energy to do what you do. And I have... I want to go out. I'm social. But I also like to be around a good group of people.

And my good friends. And you're very fortunate, I think. That's one thing that I've seen in every avenue of your life right now. You have good friends from college. The people you are working with professionally right now, I'm very happy with. The talk. I'm very happy with the people that are surrounding you, as well as your boyfriend, too.

And I'm just happy with everyone that surrounds you. I think everyone I've met has really given me a good feeling. So it makes me more comfortable to know that the people that are surrounding you professionally are, I think, supportive of you and...

And friendly. But that's another big thing for me right now is because growing up, I kind of struggled with having good girlfriends until like probably later in high school. But like middle school was brutal for me. Like I mean, you definitely remember that. Why is because Alex was Alex always. I know I'm just saying like you were your personality always and you didn't try to impress people.

Or try to... If someone didn't like you or didn't want to be your friend, you weren't overly, like, crying about it or trying... You know what? In seventh grade, all... One girl turned all the girls against her. They did not look big at all. And Alex went and sat...

At the lunch table by herself because the other girl told no one, no one's allowed to sit with Alex. And Alex told me about this and I was like, I'm going to say something to the mother or say something. She goes, mom, I don't care. I really don't care. I'm going to sit by myself. I'm going to eat my sandwich alone at the lunch table. And obviously she cared that, you know,

But all those other people were weak. They were. Get them, mom. Get them. They were weak and insecure. And they're all trying to follow the leader. Yeah. I mean, middle school is also just like a rough time for girls. And like everyone's just like mean. And like I feel like it's so like bratty at that age. Like now Isabel, my little sister, is 11 years old, is getting into middle school. And I'm like, oh, God. Yeah.

Because it was not a good time for me. I almost transferred. I wanted to transfer. We were looking at other schools. Because I didn't really have any friends. So I feel like that's something I really cherish now. And what you said about not...

or not caring if you don't fit in. You do care. I care, but not like... I wouldn't change who I am to be friends with someone. So that's another weird thing now is like, not that people are fake and stuff, but people just care about like, if you have followers, they want to like be your friend or something. And like that, like, I don't care. Like, I don't care if someone has...

45 million followers or 45 followers. Like, I just, I like you or I don't. Even when Alex started doing this, I didn't even know what she was doing. She would lock herself in the room. She'd come home on break from college and I'd be like, we have to go to dinner. Let's go. And she'd have the door locked. I'm like, I'm screaming at her. Let's go. She's like, I'm working. I'm like, what the hell?

mean you're working? I'm like, we have to go to dinner. But this is before I knew she was doing anything. When I actually figured out that she actually was working and starting to make money and starting to do things, she went to different locations, LA, New York, and met a lot of girls that were in the same business as her. And... Well, our dog is like eating the wires. Well, she's scared to walk across us. Um...

She would tell me, Mom, some of these girls are so bitchy. They don't even want to talk to you. They don't like say anything to you. In this business that she went in, she's never lost being herself. She didn't try to fit in with these girls that were already maybe at the time, I don't know all the lingo, but had a lot more followers than her at the time, maybe. And she just was herself and stayed true to herself all through this, even to this day when...

Whatever she's doing, she could be just taking her first bite of a sandwich and she hasn't eaten all day and someone comes up to her. Can I, Alex, can I take a picture of you? I've never seen her have like a negative look on her face. She's just appreciative and happy with all of her fans. So what do you think about like, because now people will come up to my mom and they're like, oh my gosh, you're Alex's mom. Can I get a photo with you? Well, yesterday at the game, someone came up to me and was like, oh.

oh my God, you're Alex and Earl's mom. I'm from so-and-so and I would just love to take a picture with you. My daughter loves you and blah, blah, blah. And the next thing you know, she saw Alex standing next to me and I was like, she pushed me out of there. She was chopped liver. I turned around and I was like, oh my God. She goes,

I wasn't so popular after that. But this has been kind of, and I feel like people don't get it when I say it, that just like, I don't know, we're just like a normal family. So people like coming up to us is kind of crazy. Yeah. It's like, we're nothing special over here. Something about me is that I am smart.

but I do have blonde moments. Oh, very blonde moments. And I feel like my mom has seen a lot of them, but you can tell them. She is very smart and intelligent, but some very, very ditzy, ditzy blonde, like there were, I can't even believe she said that. Did you really say that? We had a dog trainer come to the house.

And he was trying to explain to Alex. I think she was in high school, so not very young. Can you hold this? Because I have to. And the dog trainer was trying to show how to use a small water bottle to show how you would spray it at the dog if they did something wrong. And Alex, the dog trainer holds up his hand or he gives Alex the water bottle. And he said, hit my hand.

Hit my hand with the water bottle. Yeah, why? Like, obviously, if he said hit, he should have said spray. Well, she walked over and took the water bottle and hit his hand with it instead of spraying the water at his hand. So I was so embarrassed. I was like, oh, my God, Alex. So basically, there was a dog trainer that came over and there was a spray water bottle for if the dog was being bad. And he gave me the water bottle and then put out his hand and said, hit my hand with the water bottle.

I'm just taking things literally and I take the actual plastic water bottle and like smack his hand. But really, he meant to spray his hand with the and the look on this trainer's face when I hit his hand with the water bottle. He was like, in my 25 years of training, no one has ever come up to me and smacked my hand with the plastic water bottle.

And I said, well, I don't know. Next time, clarify. Say spray. I didn't know. She took it literally. Yeah. Well, that was good. I'm happy you guys got to meet my mom a little bit. Well, thanks, Mom, for coming on. Thank you. I love you. I love you, too. Bye-bye.

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Follow Joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you. It's game day. Yes, it is. Wait, Penelope speak.

Hello. Hello, Sly Batty. We are going to the Dolphins game today. So NFL man Braxton, whatever you want to call him here, he is playing and they're playing against the Jets. So they're in New Jersey, which just so happens to be where we are from.

And my whole family is going to the game. But it's really funny because my family is just not the most equipped when it comes to sports. So I wanted to bring my family on here, introduce you guys. And I wanted to ask them some questions about football.

and see if they know anything i didn't know what uh much more than a touchdown was up until like four months ago so we're not i'm not judging them i just think it'll be funny because i don't even think anyone's gonna know when to cheer i know which sides the goals are so i'll cheer when i see that they have a goal okay so this is penelope this is my little sister who is they know me nine years old you guys might have met my family on call her daddy but they're back

Yeah. So Penelope, do you know how many points a touchdown is? Three. No, that's a field goal. Oh, so that's a field goal. So like a touchdown is like a normal thing. Uh-huh. One point. No. Two points. It's six. And then if you kick the extra thing, you get an extra point. Next question. Okay.

Do you know how many teams are playing at once? Two. Okay. Do you know how many people from each team are on the field at each point? So I'd say like 15. From each team? Yeah. Okay. It's 11, but that was close. That's close. That's close enough. Do you know what a flag is? No. Like American flag? No.

Oh my gosh, today's gonna be a lot of fun. Do you know what a first down is? I know a touchdown. I don't know a first down. What's better, a first down or a third down? Third down. First down. Yeah. So first downs are good. That's what I learned. I learned cheer. Cheer, bitch. All we know is that we're cheering for Braxton. Do you call him Braxton or NFL man?

BB. BB. Okay. All right. We need another family member in here. Family member number two, Ashley, is my stepmom. Hi. Okay. Do you know how many points a touchdown is? I do. Oh, man. It's between two. No. Two points? Six. And then... And then

Okay. You cheated. Did you look? Did you Google this? She just got it wrong. That's how she knows. Okay. I was going to say three. What's better? A first down or third down? Third down. No. I thought because it goes to the other team's turn. So today's going to just, it's going to be so fun. We're just going to cheer. I'm just going to have a few cocktails.

Go Dolphins! Woo! We're going to be with the Jets. In the stands with the Jets screaming for the Dolphins. After this, can I perform a scene? Sure. How many teams are playing in one game? Two. That was a good question for me. Thank you. I appreciate that one. Dad, get in here. Oh, it's going to be fun. Now we have family member number three. We have my dad here.

We're expecting a little bit more out of you, Dad. All right. It's a lot of pressure. How many points is a touchdown? Six. Penelope. No, he got that before. What's better, a first down or a third down? Better how? Penelope. Like what means the team's doing better if they get a first down? First down. Okay, yeah. How many people are on the field at once? Eleven. From one team or two teams? One team.

Oh my god. Does dad know stuff about sports that we don't know about? What does it mean when they throw a flag? A penalty? Yeah. How many points do you get from a field goal? Three. Dad, he's ready to go. See? He knows everything. I guess you passed. Good job. Yeah, who won the Super Bowl last year? Kansas City. Oh my god.

What's going on here? Who's the Dolphins coach? I have no idea. Okay. No, that's not fair. Do you know that? Mm-hmm. What number is Braxton? That's easy. Zero. What position does Braxton play? Wide receiver. Uh-huh. What? He also does something else, though. Now you're confusing me. Running back? No. He does something returns. Pump return? Uh-huh.

He's passed. Done. We're over you. Throw it up. I'm so surprised, like, actually. Family member number four, Isabel's here. She's the oldest out of my little siblings, so we're expecting more from you. All right, Isabel, how many points is a touchdown? How many points? Five. Close. Six.

How many points do they get if they kick the extra goal after? Extra goal after? Yeah. Five. No, one. How many teams are playing at once? Two. How many points is a field goal? A field goal? One. Three. How many sections are in a game? Like, is there like one? Is there halves? Is there quarters? Yeah.

Why? Like how is the game split up by time? Into like quarters. Yeah. Was that just a guess? No. Oh, okay. How many people from each team are on the field? Like five or three. How many people are in a team again? All of them. All of them.

What position does Roxton play? Oh, wide receiver. Yeah, good job. Okay, what's better? A first down or a second down or a third down or a fourth down? A third down.

No. The first down? Yeah. What team are you rooting for today? Dolphins. I actually know some stuff. Okay. Isabel only knows about football because of what? Taylor Swift. She's obsessed with Taylor and Travis. Yes. That's the only way she knows. Isabel said that if the Chiefs and the Dolphins were playing each other, that she would vote for the Chiefs. Yeah. How disrespectful. Do you like Taylor Swift more than me?

Okay, we have our last contestant coming in. Thomas, family member number five. He is my six-year-old brother. All right, what team are we rooting for today? Dolphins. Yay. What team is going down today? Jets. Woo! Oh, thank you. All right, what position does Braxton play? Football. How many points is a touchdown? One. Okay. Okay.

And how many points do you think a field goal is? Two. Okay. What's better? A first down or a third down? Third down. All right. And how many people are playing on the field at once? Any thoughts in there? I think he's glitching. I have no idea. Thomas, you did amazing. We love you. All we know, you know, none of us really know anything. We're just rooting for Braxton today, right? Mm-hmm.

He brought his dolphin. Eleven! Eleven! Good job! See? So you know this is our first football game. Yeah. This is the Earl family's first football game. Let's go, dolphins! Woo! Here we go. This is what they do. Alright, bye. It's time to get real with me. Holy hell. I went out last night for Thanksgiving Eve back in Jersey.

A little bar in Jersey never disappoints. I slept in my makeup, feeling very crusty. I also have some stuff in my hair. Like, I don't know how, but it's all hard and like, I must've dipped it in a drink. It's rock hard and I'm gonna have to put it in the sink.

But we have a special guest today who's going to be helping me clean and cleanse my face because she is the best at skincare. My little sister, Isabel, she's 11 years old. Here she is. I'm here. Wait, let me, there we go.

Say hi. Hi. So Isabelle basically has all of Sephora in her bedroom. She has every skincare product. I'm like, I don't even know how you know what this stuff is. Like she'll tell me when I'm using bad ingredients. So she's going to help me out today.

So mistake number one of the night, I almost got my sister's car stolen. I'm so sorry, Ashton, if you're listening to this, this is just a made up story and I'm lying. So my sister drives a Jeep Wrangler. It's so cool. It's like her baby. She loves it. And I took the wrong car keys last night. So when I walked inside, I was like, why isn't the car locking? Like, I just thought, I don't know. I was like, the battery's dead in the keys. I don't know what's going on.

Well, I get in the car this morning and I realized that I left the keys in her car. So her car was on like a main road in New Jersey where there actually has been a lot of like car thefts recently. And I left the keys just in the car unlocked. So...

I was making it real easy for anyone who wanted to rob and steal her car. Thank God it's all there and in one piece, but that was pretty frightening this morning. We also left the straightener on last night.

All throughout the night, we woke up this morning and I was like, "Oh my god, the straightener is red and beeping." And we left it on for like 12 hours. But we made it through without a stolen car and without a fire. Can you imagine if I just burned down Sally's house? That would have been bad. This is gonna feel so good. I feel like the crustiest rat right now. I feel rotten.

You know when makeup remover gets in your eyes, I'm blinded right now. I can't see anything. She has a whole cart, I swear to God. What do I need first? - Okay, first we are going to use-- - Oh, the spray. - Tower 28's head. It's the best thing in the world, close your eyes. It's really good.

So last night we went out to this bar. I went out with my friends Sally and Arden and we saw all of our high school there because it's in the same town as my high school. And going out when you're back home is just another animal because you're seeing everyone that you used to go to high school with. I'm like,

Oh god, the memories these people have of me from high school. They probably think I'm crazy. But basically we pull up to the bar, there's a line around the corner, around the block. It's just how it goes every Thanksgiving Eve. It's mayhem at any bar you go to. And I don't know why at the bar I ended up crying like three times. - What? Why?

Because one girl came up to me and she was like, I listened to your anxiety episode on Hot Mess and she was like, she started crying. So then I started crying. I know I'm a loser, but she was like, it helped me so much. Come on. Okay, we're going to use my ordinary hydrolonic acid. I was just thinking about being back with everyone that like,

I used to hang out with in high school. And I feel like, I don't know what it is about being home, but I always get green tea shots here. I don't know if that's more of like a Jersey thing or more of like a bar thing, but I, green tea shots, they always get me because they taste really good. And honestly, they're the only kind of shots that I can like manage recently. When I take regular shots, I think maybe it's because I'm getting old, but

I like just can't like you see videos of me online and my face is just I can't do it like I take a shot and immediately my whole body wants to quiver up and die and run away. So green tea shots were my friend last night. Next we're gonna use the bubble cloud surf and daydream serum. Make a little skincare smoothie time.

skincare smoothie. You're so good with this. Whatever, we have a fun night at the bar and the whole

whole time we were at the bar, I just was excited to go home and get food. Like I started planning what I was going to order the second that we walked into the bar and I got Wawa of course, but I don't know what happened to me last night when I was ordering. It just did not go as planned. Like I got the grossest food from Wawa that you've ever seen. Like nothing that I normally get. And it was like this weird, like

It was like a quesadilla, but with like just like lettuce and like banana peppers. I don't know why I thought I ordered better food. I don't know what happened. Do you think I'm a hot mess, Isabel? Sometimes. I'm just happy because today's Thanksgiving and I'm going to feast like the mashed potatoes.

The mashed potatoes downstairs just, they smell so good. I think Isabel's really happy that I'm home 'cause she was FaceTiming me the past two weeks every night leading up to me coming home. - Yeah. - Are you so happy that I'm here? - Yeah. You're also getting, so far, two spas.

So, policies. Yeah, every time I come home, once Isabelle showed me these, like, facials that she gives, I don't do my own skincare or wash my face when I come home. I sit in her bed and make her do it for me. I do it.

Because you're good at it. She has like more products than I do. She knows more than I do. Look at my hair from last night. What is this? It's hard. I had a shower this morning because I forgot to wash out my hair mask. Well, this is not a hair mask. I think this is a drink or food. Apparently, I fell asleep in the ketchup. I definitely think that you should take a shower. Will you wash my hair for me too? Yes. Thank you.

I'm so happy to be home. - Now we're gonna use my Glow Recipe Avocado Serum. - What is, oh! What is this good for?

It's avocados. Oh, redness. Oh. One of my best guy friends from high school was bartending last night, and that's also just another recipe for disaster because he was just like, he wasn't making us pay for any drinks, and he just was feeding us them. They gave me a drink in like a pint glass.

When I was like, "This is definitely not a good idea for a big owl." I just love when bars feel like a jungle though. Like that bar has like an inside, outside, upstairs, downstairs. Like I love when you can kind of hop around and go to a bunch of different places. I mean, the bathrooms is always like an absolute war zone. I'm running out of this stuff. Like I really need more soon. Wait, I have to show you this photo from last night because this

Guy came up to me and he was like I own a sandwich shop and I have like a sandwich named after you the pork roll and cream cheese sandwich that you get That I always post about and he was like it does so well like whatever so he's like can we get a photo together? I'm like, yeah, of course. He starts like kissing my cheek and I was like you could tell it was like uncomfortable Also Braxton's coming over for Thanksgiving. Did you not know that? No, I didn't

- But you called him Braxton. - Oh, I know. I feel like I should start-- - Can we call him Braxton now? - Yeah, we can call him Braxton. - Guys, it's official. We can call him Braxton now, which means no more NFL man. - NFL man we can use some-- - NFL man is dead. - NFL man died. - Guys, it's no more NFL man. It's Braxton now, understand? - Do you like Braxton? - Mm-hmm. I think he's nice.

Isabelle was, the whole time we were on vacation, was like begging us to start dating and she was calling me every night. I was updating her throughout everything. We need to go get dressed for Thanksgiving. Now? In a little. I think we need to rot in bed for a little bit first. You can do that. Isabelle always rots in bed with me. She's like my bed rotting partner.

Bye. You got to say hi to all the girls. Hi. What's your name? Thomas. Thomas is my little brother. And how old are you, Thomas? Six. Yeah. And where are we right now? But where are we? What room are we in? The Dino Den. Do you want to tell them a little bit about the Dino Den? Sure. We got a lot of stuff.

- No, this is crowded. - This room is a collection of all Thomas's dinosaur toys. - And some animals. - And some animals. - You can see there's a dog over there. - Yeah. - A dog figure.

And this is where Lenny lives. Lenny is the bearded dragon. He lives in there. Lenny's in hiding right now. He's sleeping in a Tonka truck. So you went to your first football game. And it was the Dolphins game. Yes. Did you like it? Yes. And who were we watching play? Braxton. Thanks. Knock on camera. Did he do a good job?

Yes, he won. He won. That's all that matters, right? Yeah. I really don't want to say it, but I can't say it. I know who's going to go on the seven. Who's going to win on December 1st? Obviously, Falcons. Thomas, it's the Falcons against the Jets. I know, but I'm obviously going to vote for the Falcons. Thomas does not like the Jets. I don't like the Jets. Yes. Do you know that Braxton was on the Jets for like four years? I know. Oh, we don't care still.

- Yeah. - Do you like Braxton? - Yes. - He's pretty cool, right? - Yeah. - I think he's your nicest boyfriend. - He's the... He wins nicest boyfriend. What is your favorite type of dinosaur? - Gigantosaurus. - And what is that one? - Okay, I could go bring it over here. - Oh, okay. -

This is a giganotosaurus. Giganotosaurus. Oh. What's your favorite activity to do with Alex? Um, wake up in the middle of the night and get food. Yeah. That is, Isabel likes to get midnight snacks with me. I do too. Yeah. Thomas, what's your favorite thing to do with me? She always plays with me. My favorite thing to do with her is hang out.

What do we do when we hang out? Play, obviously. Oh. You have four sisters. How's it dealing with four older crazy sisters? They're very nice and they protect me. It is time for

A break. A break. Not a daddy break, though. Oh. What break? A dance break. Tommy boy dance break. Tommy boy dance break. You've got some good moves. Disco dance. Disco dance. Disco break. It's a disco break.

Do you think Alex is a hot mess? Yeah. Yeah. Just kidding. Just kidding. No, that's okay. I say I'm a hot mess. Oh. Is Alex messy? Yes. Oh, you know what would be good? Do you know at the end of the episodes, I do a What Would Alex Do segment, and I have girls write in about what would Alex do, and you could answer them about what you think I would do.

What would Alex do? Question number one. So you have to answer this as if you're thinking you're Alex. Like what would Alex do? One girl wrote in and she said, how do I get over a boy who I have been stuck on for two years who's really toxic? What would Alex do in that situation?

Like help somebody other or like no like if I was in a toxic relationship, what would what would I do? You'd like get angry at him obviously and you'd call for backup which I would be the backup and I would kick him Oh, okay. That's good. It's stomach. Okay, that's good. Hey big Al I just broke up with my first boyfriend so I could work on myself But I don't even know where to start with personal growth self-improvement. What advice do you have for putting yourself? First and getting your confidence back

What would Alex do? I think you should just be you and do what you love. Penelope, have you ever had a boyfriend? Yes, she has. Have you experienced heartbreak? Yeah. You haven't? What did you do after your breakup to feel better? I got angry at him. You got angry at him? Why'd you guys break up?

You could take him. Because it happens. Sometimes it just didn't work out. It didn't work out. It didn't work out. You were six. Oh, I wasn't. So what did you do after your first breakup to feel confident again and feel happy? I complimented people. Said to strangers that they look beautiful. And that makes you feel better? Mm-hmm. That's good advice. So acts of kindness will help you feel better? Mm-hmm.

Advice from a nine-year-old. My best friend of ten years just got her first boyfriend and she's completely ghosted me and I've only seen her three times since. What do I do? You would call her and say, "This is like really hurting my feelings." And if they don't answer then you could do a voicemail and say, "This is just really hurting my feelings and if you don't feel like you're hurting me then I guess you're not my true friend."

- Why are kids so practical? Like this is such good advice. - Letting it off your chest would make you feel so much better in so many ways that you wouldn't be like stressing out and you wouldn't be like angry and you wouldn't be sad and crying. Letting it off your chest to the person who you want to let it off to would help you so much more than just keeping it all in. - This is great advice, Penelope.

Maybe you should take over this podcast instead of me. Excuse me? How to deal with a toxic friend that's talking about me behind my back to other girls. I'd say the other girls told me that you aren't being really nice and I want to know what happened between us because whatever happened between us...

I didn't do anything wrong. So if anything happened between us, you could have just told me instead of talking behind my back and hurting people's feelings. Hurting people's feelings isn't the way to go. And karma will come back at you. Karma always comes back, right? Yeah. A lot of people ask how they should reach out to other girls or like make new friends, like how to go about making new friends. I'd say just hang out with them.

and express yourself to them so they can get to know you a lot more. And then once you feel like you're ready to ask them, you could ask, do you want to be my friend? Or like hang out and like go get Starbucks and just hang out like that and just hang out for like a while and then ask, do you want to be my friend? And then you guys will become besties for life. So how many boyfriends has Alex had?

Oh, that's a good question. I know, I know, I know the answer. Three. No. Four. Okay. At the game? Yeah. Five, five, five, five, five. Shh, no. Eleven? I have not had eleven boyfriends. Including high school. Seven. Including high school. Yeah, including high school. Seven.

Oh. No. Eight. Wait, less or more than seven? Wait, hold on. Yeah, this is number five. No, be quiet. I said five. Uh-uh. You said no. You said 11. No, no, no, no, no. I said four, and then I said five, and then I said 11. This will keep saying God with me, but...

Taking out your giot for the Rizzler.