How long have these meal kits been in my fridge? One week? Two? How much am I spending on these? Hey, Erica.
Did my subscription go up? When your questions about life turn into questions about money, there's Erica, the virtual financial assistant to help you spend, save, and plan smarter. Only from Bank of America. What would you like the power to do? Erica is only available in the English language. You must download the latest version of the mobile banking app only available on select mobile devices. Your chat may be recorded and monitored for quality assurance. Message and data rates and additional terms may apply. Bank of America and a member FDIC.
Hey, everybody. Just wanted to give you a quick heads up here. There's something we should all be doing. It's going to improve your life, make every day a little bit better, and that is eat more Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Yes, think about it. All the gurus, all the coaches out there, they've never said the words,
eat more Reese's. I mean, that combination of sweet chocolate and salty peanut butter. I mean, this is something that brings other people and ourselves joy. That's why there's two in a pack. Shop Reese's peanut butter cups now at a store near you, found wherever candy is sold and often in my pantry because I love these.
Hey, everybody. Sweater weather is over and sweaty weather has begun. And that's why you need a pair of Bombas socks because they are a premium extra long staple cotton sock that feels light on your feet all summer long. I love my Bombas. Why? Because they support my arch. So get ready to get comfy and give back. Head over to Bombas.com slash bonkers. Use the code bonkers for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-O-N-K-E-R-S.
BAS.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Mr. Jackass meets Miss X-Mass. We saw Beauty and the Beast Christmas, so you know what that means. Just a sucker punch the eye
Hello, love! Minneapolis!
We are in Minnesota for the first time ever in the heart of Minneapolis to talk about one of the best Christmas movies ever made. The year 2019. The topic, social media influencers.
Really gets to the heart of what Christmas is all about. Like, follow, subscribe. All of those things come into play. I will say this. When you hear the title, Beauty and the Beast Christmas, it's not to be confused with the Disney one, with Paul Reubens and Tim Curry as an evil organ. No, no. This...
is a different kind of Beauty and the Beast. As a matter of fact, I would say, if you're familiar with the story of Beauty and the Beast, it shares very little with that. So much so that I was waiting for... Who's the... Okay. Who's the beauty and who's the beast? I think I know.
I don't want to break it down any more than that, but all I will say is two flailing social media stars find a perfect union. It's weird. Again, that's enough. That's enough information if you haven't seen it. We'll break it all down, but first, let me introduce my co-host. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Jason Manzoukas. What's up, jerks? That's right. That's right. How we last. What's up, balcony?
Holy shit! The balcony is fucking wasted! Jason, you and I have done a lot of movies on this podcast. A lot of movies. You tell me that, but sure. It's been, what, 13 years? There is a moment, though, in doing this podcast where I think to myself, well, it can't get any weirder. And this one really... Broke you? Yeah. Yeah.
In a way that was like, wow, wow. Here's the essential question I have that I expect for all of us at the end of the podcast to understand the answer. Who is beauty? Who is the beast? A question. Who is beauty? And who is the beast? A question that I started it off with. Yes, it will be answered. And you know what? There's no one better than to answer that question.
Then, my other co-hosts, please welcome June, Diane, Raphael. Welcome, June. How are you? I'm okay. I'm okay. It's so hard. You know, I love the holidays. I love Christmas. I loved it all until today when I had to see this movie. And I'm really concerned because we've done two Christmas movies in the last four days. And I'm...
I was getting close to getting in the spirit and now I hate Christmas. Both? I will say both movies make me want to become a Scrooge or a Grinch. And Jason, you and I backstage last night were talking about the holidays, what we love about the holidays. We're talking about our ornaments. We're talking about our trees. Our traditions. How much we love the holidays. We're talking about Paul's Christmas village. And today I was like, I'll be dead by then.
I don't want them. I don't want them. No, no, no, no, no, no. So yeah, this has got to stop. I can't do this again. Okay. This was, I'm not going to lie, this was chilling on every single level. And how much of, I believe, an accurate portrayal of influencer lifestyle it is, is its most scathing indictment.
Here's what I will say. There's a question on the table. Who is beauty? Who is beast? We'll get to that. Yeah, we better because I'll answer it right now. Noah is the beauty. Francesca is the beast. The end. Okay. All right. Wow. Okay. Interesting. Now, you say Francesca. Who's Francesca? Francesca.
Ginger Holiday? No. Noah. Noah is his son. Noah. Who's Noah? Noah is... His son. What? Noah is the little boy. Oh, the little boy. Okay, got it. Yes. Thank you. And Francesca is a girl. Oh, is the little sister? Yes.
The little sister who just inexplicably appears. And then disappears. And Bo is just put in charge of? She's my little sister now. I will say that Larissa, you might recognize her from... Larissa Lucifer?
Yeah. Larissa Lucifer? Yeah. Well, you might recognize Larissa. Did you guys not? She did look familiar, actually. Oh, I jumped up when I saw her. No. Who is it? I have zero. Open Marriage, y'all. What? Open Marriage. Remember? She did an Open Marriage? No. What's her deal? The movie that we did. That's a movie we did? We did a movie called Open Marriage, right? Right.
It was about, like, the couple that decided that they were gonna have an open marriage, and then one gets obsessed with the other one, and they get shot in the head. What? I don't think so.
Wait, oh, wait, wait. Is this the one with the underground sex club? Yes. Is this the one, wait a second, is this the one where it all takes place in like a loft? In a photographer's loft? Yes. Okay, great. Slightly, because you're also thinking... What do you mean slightly? Because there's also the one with the high school photography that's different. Okay. That is the photographer who is obsessed. This is two couples...
The underground sex club, and one gets more into it than the other. Wait, and this is just to identify... Who Larissa Lucifer is? Larissa... Yes. The other woman. Yes. Okay. Well, now, but I will say this. You, I'm so sorry just to have gotten all the way there, and I want to just go back to the beginning because you said you jumped on...
You jumped up. That is, that connotes a level of excitement and surprise that is, I'll be honest, shocking. I was like, oh shit, the girl from Open Marriage. You did the Leo meme?
I know what it is. I was excited to see her because I thought that she was great. I thought she brought a lot to this. But again, I don't want to go off on Larissa because she comes in in the third act. The question I wanted to ask you was this, and this is an honest, earnest question. Is this a comedy or is it not? Because I'm watching it and at points I'm like, oh, it's a comedy. And then immediately after, I'm like, I don't think it is. Like, I...
I don't know if these choices, like, yes, there are jokes, but then there was like, is it meta? It's not meta. I don't think it's meta. Yeah.
There are, I believe, moments of meta commentary that I don't know if people are in on or not. Sure. But simply by the nature of doing this, they are at certain points just absolutely making fun of what it is they are doing. I think someone is. Either the edit is being cruel to them or I'm not sure what. But there is a level of insanity that's happening in this movie that I would also believe if you told me none of these people knew they were being filmed. Right.
And they were just people having psychic breaks that they were like, influencers gone wild. Well, the beginning of this movie really hurt my brain because when you meet Ginger Holiday, it looks like I don't know what's happening. Because there's no blocking or framing to let you know this is a YouTube video, but watch this. The opening scene fucked me up. Clip one.
And I'm like, okay, she's talking to me. Well, if not, this is...
Okay, we can stop it. This is heart to heart. Yeah, pause for a second. This is not her YouTube channel, babe. Yeah, this is heart to heart the TV channel. This is a package. Yeah. This is where it gets confusing and why your brain broke. This is a TV package.
About her. But she's talking directly to the camera. I thought, oh, we're watching like an R-Town. I believe both are true. Yeah, it might have been footage. No, no, it's not an R-Town. I'm sorry. No, I don't believe both are true. I believe this is meant to simulate what her content is, but there is now a voiceover on top of it, which is the Heart to Heart host, which is a channel I subscribe to under Amazon Prime.
It is top notch entertainment news. They cover only the characters in Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies. And that's the network's ethos. Just the characters lives. And that's part of the agreement. When you sign up to do a Lifetime movie, you have to act like like Sacha Baron Cohen. You have to be Ali G and you have to go around and do. You have to. By the way, though, this is not a Lifetime movie.
It's an Ion movie. But I want to clarify that because we must put some respect on the Lifetime Holiday franchise. I agree. I agree.
Okay, because their holiday movies are shot in Vancouver, I think, and they are shot in cold, Christmassy towns. Or at least they put some snow on the ground. This movie is not interested in Christmas vibes at all. Here's what they've got. Access to a legitimate mansion and $40 worth of dollar store Christmas decorations. And it's so hard.
hard because that's what they've got the budget today's podcast is brought to you by squarespace i love squarespace i'm in the middle of trying to balance my business life and my real life this work-life balance it's tough but squarespace has been helping me by giving me the tools to reach my goals and have time to celebrate that's right squarespace is the all-in-one
website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. With the guided design system of Squarespace Blueprint, you can select from curated layouts to styling options optimized for every device. Get your website discovered fast with integrated optimized SEO tools. Plus, make checkout easy for customers with easy-to-use payment tools. You can accept credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay. Plus, with Squarespace AI, you can explain what your site is about. You choose your tone and enter what you need to get auto-generated results.
perfect text. Anyway, I love Squarespace. I've been building sites with them from the beginning. And when I launched my book, I said, I'm doing it all myself on Squarespace. And I'm very pleased with it. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Have kids at home? Then you know parenting is hard. From balancing family with work to juggling the family calendar, you might need some help. If you need a sitter or nanny, then you gotta check out Care.com. Sure, you could use social media to find sitters or nannies, but how reliable are those referrals really? I mean, there's a reason why 29 million families have turned to Care.com. Every caregiver you hire is background checked, which is
so important for peace of mind. It is easy to find full-time, part-time, or even occasional help for date nights or even a day to yourself. You can search for sitters and nannies in your neighborhood, view rates, and book highly rated caregivers that fit your budget and schedule. Even better, you can reach out to multiple caregivers for interviews and message safely in the app. No more phone tag. Get the help and the break you deserve with Care.com. You'll be glad you did. That's Care.com.
When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help you find the right professionals for your team faster and for free. LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else, even those who aren't actively searching. 70% of users don't visit other leading job sites. If you're not looking on LinkedIn,
You're looking in the wrong place. LinkedIn knows that small businesses might not have the time or resources, so they're constantly finding ways to make the process easier.
86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. They even just launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, making the process even easier and quicker. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash valuable. That's linkedin.com slash valuable to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. When are we going to talk about our rash? Oh, I mean...
Her rash. You know what? We can talk about it now because that will allow us at least two hours to talk about how the fact that she has never been kissed. This lead character has never dot, dot, dot been kissed before.
in my notes is she a virgin and then cut dude she's never been kissed yes she's never it makes a lot of sense because this character i can't find my way in or out of her i'm like what is any adult woman who wears colored stockings multiple days in a row here's the thing if you're dressed like a fucking candy cane yeah hard pass
This woman is so deeply unwell. As somebody who's obsessed with Christmas 365 and makes Christmas their identity and puts it primarily over fucking, I would argue all relationships, all relationships. Well, except for her relationship with Kensington. Yes. Yes.
what is Kensington? Is Kensington a butler? I started writing down every single thing Kensington did to be like, what capacity is she here in? Can everyone see her? Is she invisible? What is going on? I thought that too. At one point I was like... Because almost nobody talks to her. No. She's truly... During the food fight scene, I mean, we're jumping all around, but during that scene, inexplicably, Kensington...
walks into it and starts to get in on the action. I think in these kind of wholesome movies, food fight is the sex scene.
This is my pitch. They get to touch on each other. They get to do all sorts of business with each other physically. And it's charged because there is no sex scene. We're never going to build to that. I think the food fight is the Hallmark movie, the Wholesome Movies version of transgressive. Again, this wasn't a Hallmark movie, though. Yes, to be clear. This Ion original...
Is that what this is? I don't want to misrepresent it, but Minneapolis, did you guys make this?
Is Ion a local company? But here's what I'll argue, too. The idea of, like, a fun, sexy food fight is disgusting to me. So gross. Like, I don't want to be covered in mashed potatoes. A food fight as foreplay? I also don't like it when people feed each other stuff. Go wash your hands. Gross. Get away from me, you monster. Gross.
I also feel like her version of Christmas that she's into is so fucking weird. It's like she's into, and there are certain, like the Dickensian Christmas, there's certain types of the carolers, all that, that I can get down with.
But her Christmas interests are so bizarre and stiff. Let's just be honest, though. She's creating 365 days of content for Christmas since she's 13. At this point, it's going to go off the rails. She has. You're right. She's got to be like, okay, cranberry underwear. We're doing it. This movie, this is...
The movie exists at a level where she has such, the weight of her audiences, her influencer audience weighs so heavily on her as to rob Christmas of all of it. But can I say something? You've been gone for a month. Answer for yourself. But can I say something? I want to say something about her content calendar because I was...
confused as to why she didn't bank extra content oh june seems insane especially in the lead up to the gala we got a lot going on well the gala can i ask a quick question and i don't often like to like ask statusy kind of questions but have you guys ever been invited to her gala
I mean, that's the thing. I always think we're going to get an invite and we never get one. I mean, June, you got one, but you didn't get a plus one. No, it was... I got one one year, but it said you can only come at midnight. See, that's... It's so elitist. I would like to spend roughly the next hour and a half discussing the logistics and the infrastructure and the mission of her charity. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it's...
Unparalleled success. 20? She's building 20 homes a year. That is a level of success that is astronomical. Here's what I couldn't understand, though. When I heard 20 homes, there is a part of, this is when I wrote down, is this a comedy or is it not? Because I understood it to be she was creating 20 homes for Christmas Day and then kicking them back out.
So I don't think that's true, but what is unresolved? So it's a great question. There's so many questions about this charity. Please, please look into it. Please, Better Business Bureau, whoever investigates, look into this charity. Because I got to be honest, that home is pretty stately.
One of the things that I couldn't understand is she says the reason why she wants to do it is because every... And I think this is where you were confused, is because nobody should be alone over the holidays. And so, yeah, you are forced to ask the question, is it a home just for the holidays? Home for the holidays. And then are you Airbnb-ing it out? What I couldn't understand is who's with the foster children in the home? Are they...
Who's with them? What's the infrastructure? How does that work? What's the infrastructure? And are these, these are foster children who can't find homes. So aren't these just dot, dot, dot orphans? Isn't she making orphanages? And doesn't that make her a villain?
Now hear me out. Hear me out. 365 days a year, she creates content just so people help her build kid prisons? Listen. She is a modern-day Fagin. This is all of her twist. You know what? You're right. Because actually...
I was watching this movie and thinking like, how fucked the foster care system is in the United States. And I was like, you know what? You fucking bitch. Take that money and give it to the families so they can keep kids in their homes. But June. So they don't have to become foster kids. But June, the outfit she wears to the gala breaks the internet every year.
Her outfit breaks the internet. In this world, she is as popular as Kim Kardashian. Right? But only in the niche of Christmas. That's a lot. But now here's the thing that I will say. What?
This movie is as confusing as the advent calendar used to delineate where we are at in the movie. Agree. I have seen the advent calendar be used as a scene transition device. National Amphibians Christmas Vacation. It makes sense. We're getting closer to it. This seems like we're months out, day 17, over here, up over here. It's like they only had one advent calendar and like, how?
How does it work? We don't know. It's going up. It's going down. It's going sideways. I don't know where we are in the world. Because she's somebody who celebrates Christmas every day, which is psychotic. It's psychotic.
And I have friends who have all their Christmas stuff up already. We just talked about it yesterday. Oh, we named names. We named names yesterday. Some bold-faced names were discussed. And Paul and I are Christmas traditionalists. We don't put our tree up until the day after Thanksgiving. But we support... I used to think I supported whatever people wanted to do. And I told you I keep my tree up until late January or Valentine's Day. And I was...
concerned. When I need to burn stuff. But I was like, you know, Jason needs it up that long. Like, that's fine. That's great. Cool Up needs it up this early. That's fine. That's great. And I do, I feel like I've had a pretty open heart. I do too. I have an issue with her too. I said you have to. You talked to me.
Yes. Like you scolded her? No, I just said that she's cheating herself out of the great transition between Halloween into Thanksgiving. You take down the scary, but you leave up the pumpkins, and then you get into that fall. So pumpkins are your bridge? Yes.
Your binder? You take the witch off the hay bale and you got the hay bale and the pumpkins are having a nice time. You get that turkey out. And then, because then it's something to look forward, Thanksgiving is something to look forward to. And then you got the next thing to look forward to. You don't eat your dessert first, people. I know. And you guys feel differently and that's okay. But I've tried to keep an open mind. But what Ginger Holiday does is,
is absolutely unacceptable. And she is... She's the kind of person, as an influencer, you would believe would be put into jail eventually.
Well, she should be because of the charity she's running. Yes! It's a scam. She's got that Logan Paul drink. She's pushing Prime. Our kids are obsessed with Prime. Our kids are obsessed. And they have no entry point to Logan Paul. They don't watch Logan Paul. It's just in the ether. That's so funny. Here's what I'll say.
And this is another big question here. What is wrong with her face? Oh, she just has a rash of burn at her hairline from the hair dye. Totally fine. Easily covered. And it's easily covered. It's so easily covered with nothing but a wire Phantom of the Opera mask.
That's all you need is a filigreed wire Phantom of the Opera mask to wear to your wedding and you're totally normal. She is promoting a holiday where Santa hats are the norm. Pop that on and you're good. When she wears that little red riding hood cap, I'm like, I don't, I'm looking so hard to see it. Even at the end when she's like, look at me. I'm like, I'm trying. I'm trying.
I'm trying to see it. I don't see it. Guys, do you think we're ever going to get to the bad boy of Baltimore? We will, Jason. I just want to say we absolutely will.
I just want to say one thing about her rash. Because... Yes. Because it is the inciting incident of the entire movie. Yeah. It is. And it's what we're dealing with the whole time. Which is like, she's lost a major deal because of this. Well, I mean, I think that she's... Because she went off camera. She was already on the verge of...
losing this deal because when the agent comes over in the beginning, which by the way, I don't know much about social media, but I guess the agent doesn't come over and start taping on his iPhone. And I gotta be honest. He's like, let's go right now. We got it. What? You're taping it? We're watching a movie that exists in a world in which the cosmetics company Glitzen, not Donner, not Rudolph, Glitzen. Glitzen is the biggest corporation in the entire world. They are
own these influencers outright. They own them completely and are completely monkeying with their lives as if they are the Illuminati or something. But it also seems like Glitzen is a primarily Christmas-themed makeup company because Glitzen and Blitzen, I would imagine, I don't think you would name your... I don't think there are just...
Christmas cosmetic company. Well, that's it. But I think that they are. But then you wouldn't name your, you wouldn't go like, oh, yes, we call ourselves Santa. Can you be like, it's like Ulta, I get. Santa, I don't. I don't know. I didn't take issue with that. I am genuinely. Really? No, I didn't. I was genuinely concerned. Now, I don't know if anybody else in the audience recognized one of the dance moms. Yes. You did? Yeah, of course.
Holly, Nia's mom, was playing the doctor. After seeing her on Dance Moms, like, that's her. That's Holly. Well, she's not an actress.
And I'm going to say this with all with love. She's so not an actress that I thought it was going to be revealed that she had some ulterior motive to keep them separate. Like that she was an enemy of the state. Oh, that scene was crazy. She was like, do not go near her. She's a fucking ticking time bomb.
Okay. She's a doctor that comes to the house that delivers information. The way she delivered information, I leaned in. I guess that's a good thing, but I was also like, why is this weird? Both really good actors talk kind of quietly. Honestly? You have to kind of hear them and
It's all whispering. Oh, it's all whispering and you can't hear them and if you're God forbid positioned behind them in a movie, you can't see what they're saying and then they turn around and look at you like, it's your turn to talk, fucko. And you're like, did you even say your line?
I thought it was an interesting choice. I will say, her advice to Bo to stay away from Ginger, best advice in the movie. Okay. He should take that advice, take his son and leave. Okay, but first of all, guys, you just have to go back. There's not enough time. I'm so stressed out. I could do whisper voice the whole rest of the show. There's not enough time.
You said she had an allergic reaction to a hair dye. It wasn't hair dye. It was some sort of like crazy Christmas concoction. She made it holly. She like melted down holly and peppermint. But it is to dye her hair red. It is to dye her hair. But it's not like... She had a terrible reaction on her face. But... I once had that...
What do you mean? From the wig you wore? Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. I once wore a wig. I played this character, Arsirio Paul, where I played Arsenio Hall, but it was me, and I had a wig, and the wig created, like, a perfectly farmed line of zits across my head that was so aggressive that I didn't want to leave the house, but yet I did. Um...
I took you to my dermatologist and he figured it out. Yeah, he had to get in there. You know what? Leave that part in. That was gone, Paul. Thank you, Dr. Stoll. Based on our general listenership numbers, like 2.5 people who just got turned on because that's their fetish. But that, Paul. And they're all in the balcony here tonight. What?
That parade of zits went away within, I want to say, like a week and a half. Two days. Two weeks, fine. Two days. Two days. A week and a half. Her reaction is there for months.
Six weeks. The doctor tells her six weeks. That's a long time. It's absurd. But what's so crazy about that? She's a multi-millionaire influencer who is having a random person just come to her home and be like six weeks and then later is like, you know what? If you give her any stress whatsoever, she might die. From a reaction to fruit. Here, let's watch the first dermatologist scene. Scene four.
Well, it's just like I thought. The rashes and swelling on your face are an allergic reaction to the acidity of the holly berries that you use in your hair dye. I'm allergic to holly? It is very rare, and actually, I've never seen it in person. Derek. Yeah, yeah? Can I have more cream? My face is itching. Okay.
Hydrocortisone? Why are you putting hydrocortisone on your face? And that ointment has aggravated her condition. It's going to take that much longer for you to heal. How long? Six to eight weeks? This beautiful face here doesn't have six to eight weeks. This beautiful face needs time to heal. Okay, that's great. But we have a client waiting on her newest Christmas video, which is now four videos behind, so...
That's a doctor! That's a doctor's visit!
I love how they had a locked shot, basically, and they were like, everybody's got to fit in frame. So just find a way to get yourself lower, lower, lower, lower. People are leaning on that couch like they're Michelle Pfeiffer and the Fabulous Baker Boys. Good reference here. Okay, so... Did you say good reference here like it came from the audience? Because you pointed out there like that's where this came from. Nailed it, Zooks.
I also will say this. A doctor to touch near the scar without any gloves on worries me.
She should have had a glove on. There is so much indiscriminate face touching in that scene that I was like, never. Do not. Because I also felt like she was not prepared to be handled that much. There was everybody who was like, I was like, no. I don't want any part of that much face touching. So now, are we to believe that a woman who has been making daily videos for Christmas since 13 has never touched Holly before? No.
Also, I'm going to ask a question that I know I'm not supposed to ask. How old is she? Do we think? How old is she now? Well, that's a good question. Started at 13. Is this 20 years in? Is she 33? I mean, I'll find out her real age. Well, that doesn't matter. Okay.
I will say this. The bad boy skater is at least 33, 34. That's what they established him as. He goes, I'm 29. He's like, you've been 29 for five years. So let's just say he's in his mid 30s. My guess is she's late 20s, early 30s. I would agree. Okay. So she's been doing this for 20 years. Before the internet.
She's been publicly Christmas famous and Christmas identified for 20 years. She was like, when you log on to AOL.com, come into my chat circuit, and I will send you a JPEG that will take four to seven minutes to download. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. At that point, regarding the internet, she's basically 13 on message boards. Yes! Christmas, right? And creeps are like, right, right.
The first Mission Impossible movie came out in 2000, and Ethan Hunt is barely able to navigate on computers. No wonder she's so sexually shut down. She was exposed to the internet at 13.
And it destroyed her. Well, it is true because at one point she says, I linked my follower count to my phone so I can check on it. Oh, the alarm you mean that goes off? It's on your phone. You didn't link it.
It lives there. That speaker is powerful. That is like a tugboat foghorn that goes off for her follower alarm. Oh, my God. What an indictment of influencer culture. What an indictment of doctor culture. This is a movie where a Christmas tree falls on a man.
And then a giant section of the movie is cut out where we reveal that he's now naked in a bed, his arms in a sling. He had been in the hospital. We missed all of that. Wait, can I back up for another second? I want to be very clear because everything you just said is true, Paul, but you've skipped over the fact that this guy had amnesia. I was getting to it. This character...
In the structure of the movie, this character gets amnesia at exactly the time where the rest of the movie should have been. And my guess is you're going to tell me it was. No. Oh, it's not? Okay. A movie in which his hatred for Christmas and everything else goes away. He becomes a Christmas lover with her, only to then be revealed that he was a Grinch later or whatever. But instead, in the very same scene, he's like...
I don't remember it. I don't remember Christmas. I don't remember you. But you know what? I hate Christmas. I hate you. Oh, wait. I'm me again. I'm the bad boy of Baltimore. Hey-oh!
That happens in one scene. He has amnesia for one scene? One monologue. I would argue a monologue. He changes it. Now that's a monologue that you should do for some sort of acting class or something. That's the range. Who am I? What am I? Oh, I remember. Okay, I'm back. Fuck you. Yeah.
I mean, what a fucking rollercoaster. Why write that? Why even write that scene? For the rest of my life, I'd be like, I had amnesia. I, I had amnesia. The most interesting thing happened to me two days ago. I had amnesia. And he has his shirt off. Always. Always.
Always, after the food fight, he's got his shirt off. This guy, I don't understand. He's 53 and has his shirt off, and I don't understand any of it.
Hi guys, Amy Nicholson from unspooled here. And the national sales event is on at your Toyota dealer making now the perfect time to get a great deal on a dependable new truck, like a rugged half ton Tundra combining raw capability with premium comfort and advanced tech to fuel your wildest adventures or check out the fully redesigned Tacoma delivering trail dominating power and captivating style. The new Tacoma was born to make your off-roading dreams come true. Check out the fully redesigned Tacoma,
Check out more national sales event deals when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places.
Have you ever browsed an incognito mode? You probably think, oh, wow, that's safe. It's not. Not as safe as you think. In fact, all of your online activity is still 100% visible to a ton of third parties unless you use ExpressVPN. ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers so third parties can
can't see your browsing history. And it is so easy to use. Fire up the app and click one button to get protected. It works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets, and more. ExpressVPN is rated number one by top tech reviewers like CNET and The Verge.
And I got to tell you, whenever I connect to public Wi-Fi at a coffee shop or at the airport, I always use ExpressVPN because you never know how secure a public network is. And I feel so much more at ease knowing that I'm not being tracked. So protect your online privacy today by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash HDTGM. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com slash HDTGM. And you can get an extra three months free. ExpressVPN.com slash HDTGM.
Drive into summer with a new Honda. Make an impression with the unmistakable style of the HR-V or turn heads in the sporty Civic. From Honda, the 2024 Kelley Blue Book's KBB.com Best Value Brand. For a limited time, well-qualified buyers can get a 3.9% APR on a 2025 HR-V or a 4.9% APR on a 2025 Civic. See dealer for financing details. Excludes Civic SI and Type R. Based on 2024 Consumer Choice Awards from Kelley Blue Book. Visit KBB.com for more information.
The one thing I liked about this movie is it posits a world in which a model in her late 60s, early 70s is working all the time. Yes.
All the time. Refers to herself in the third person. Bijou is booked and blessed. She stays employed out there. She is here, there, and everywhere. I'm like, wow. That's wonderful. In my headcanon, Bijou fucks his dad. I would love that. By the way... They walk in on them just knuckle deep. I would love it. It's Ion, baby!
I don't want to... More like I am. I don't want to slight any actors in this movie besides one. I don't want to slight any actors in this movie, but I will say this. The reveal of his dad felt like it should have been someone we go like, Kenny Rogers! Or like Luke Perry. Oh! Sorry, cut that out. I wasn't trying... We can't say Luke Perry just because...
He's passed away? The audience is very upset at that. I'll watch this. We stand a legend. Kenny Rogers or Joey Fatone? Luke Perry? I'll take the hit, Minneapolis. I'll take the hit. He's one of our greats and I'm not afraid of your disapproval.
But I mean, and I feel like they tried, but it was like, I wanted that guy. I wanted Don Johnson. Don Johnson. Yeah, and I thought it was him for a split second. I was looking like, who is it? It was non-Johnson. They were like, hey, we can't get Don, but my friend has a guy called non-Johnson. We hire him for Miami Vice parties. Uh...
But you got to take the tubs as well. You got to take Crockett and tubs. It's like, oh, I don't know. I don't trust a character. I don't trust a human being or a character whose only vice is hot cocoa. Was that a vice? She keeps saying, like, I'm going to need a lot more cocoa. Like, oh, this is just too much. Oh, thank God for my cocoa. And then when she gets slipped booze, she's like...
That's not Coco. I was like, she is basically Buddy the Elf. She is either a lunatic, a true innocent, or there's a body switch that happens where a 12-year-old girl is put in the body of this 30-something-year-old woman because all of her choices are stone cold bananas. But
We are talking about... Don't they make sense for like a 12-year-old, never been kissed, obsessed with Christmas, obsessed with hot cocoa? So let's just get into, let's give some space, as one of our audience members said last night, let's give some space to her childhood trauma. Well, that's what I was going to say. That really... Yeah, because I think that's where it all stems from. She's very stunted at that point. Yeah, the movie seems to suggest that her mother spent one day with her a year ago.
And that was Christmas Day. And that it was publicly known. The news host says, you're with your mother today, but we normally only see you on Christmas. So even on the one day, the press is there. Yeah. And it's so crazy because I did sympathize with Ginger Holliday because from her mom's point of view, her mom's like, yeah, we dealt with it in therapy.
Like, how many times are we going to go over this? It's like, well, lady, you didn't. If you only spent one day with her a year, you were never with her as far as I'm concerned. You weren't a parent. So I'm sorry if she's wrestling with this. But is that Bijou money to buy that house or is it Ginger Holiday money to buy that house? No, that's 20 million subscribers. I think that's Ginger Holiday. I think that's glitz and cash. Those are glitz and bucks. Wow.
Those are big glitz and bucks. Ooh, glitz and bucks. We got to spend these soon. But here's what I'll say. The mom feels more grounded than Ginger because the mom's like, you... The mom's like, I would like to do... The mom seems a little bit more... But Paul, if you had a parent who only spent one day with you a year and then decided to come back into your life and they were like, well, you're not opening up to me. It's like, well, yeah, I...
You're not my parent. Yes. Were you providing? Wait, what? He said, were you provided for? Yes, she was. She went to the best schools. The best camera equipment. The best schools to become an influencer. Best nannies. Best Kensingtons. But this is what I mean, to your point, June.
what's so weird about this movie is on some level, it's like what you said, Jason. It's like a 12-year-old, I like Coco, I don't like boys. And then on the other level, it's like, I have dark trauma. And then the other guy meets and goes, yeah, my kid went deaf because I couldn't pay for a surgery. And you're like, oh. Well, he's...
I mean, this guy is on the verge of losing everything. For his character, everything is paramount because it's all slipping away from him. Well, but here's the thing about that surgery. And obviously, there's major problems with their healthcare system. Don't get me wrong. But I am like, bad boy.
- Catboy of Baltimore, what research did you do? Because I do believe that there were services that could have gotten your child. Did you do any research into this? - I did have an issue with it because it was like,
He had the choice to let her here or just be like, didn't make the payment. And it was like a car getting repossessed. And I felt like, I don't know if that... Medicaid, I think, would have stepped in. I just felt like there are, and I'm not saying they're great, but there are some, some safety nets there for Noah. And I just didn't quite buy that he would go deaf. Couldn't you charge it and pay it off like a school loan?
He didn't go to high school, though. He doesn't have a college loan, so he's got room for a loan. How about where's Noah's mom? Where's Noah's mom? Where's Jinder's dad? What's going on? The dance mom took that budget.
I wanted to know. I wanted to know because I couldn't make heads or tails of that. What also was the, hold on, what was the number when she keeps saying her meditation, which is not a meditation, where she says one to get married, two blah blah blah, and three to bring joy to the world. Like, that shit that she keeps playing over in her mind feels to me like something a serial killer says before they collect another trophy.
No, I mean, I did feel that way. That's what's so creepy about this movie. And when Kensington is asked to be in the family picture at the end, I was very uncomfortable with that. And I was also just like, I think bad things have happened to Kensington in this home. Yeah. Get out of there. Get out of there, Kensington. Women have been harmed here and...
Yeah, it's not right. I mean, I also want to just like, you're talking about bad things going on. I know it's a throwaway joke, and there are some jokes in this movie. This movie makes a straight up Helen Keller joke, like with no spin. It was like, no, no, that's a Helen Keller joke. Yeah, yeah. I know. You have a good relationship with your iPad, like Helen Keller has with her iPad, right? I was like, what? What?
I haven't heard a Helen Keller joke told sincerely by an adult. The way this movie takes on disabilities, any visible differences, is just absolutely horrifying. The way she's treated by the world and treats herself for her facial whatever that is,
was so horrifying to me. And then the way, collectively as a community, they shame Derek's port stain. I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Crazy. And...
When we're presented with Noah, who's a deaf child and signing, I was like, oh, okay. And then she is like, she's kind of like, oh, okay. Oh, that's interesting. Right. But she just talks to him. Yeah. She just talks to him and that's it. And then, and it's kind of like, oh my God, that's great. And he's like, actually, this is my son. And she's like, oh, okay. And then the, what's the little girl's name? Francesca. Then Francesca comes over, little blonde girl, healthy blonde girl. And she's like, my God. Yeah.
Ginger flips out over the little blonde girl. Like, being as into her... It seemed to cast a light on everything that was very dark. Well, and then this is the other moment that I was going to say that struck me as dark, and maybe I'm reading into it, but when the agent tries to trap...
our character from the open marriage movie and our bad boy skater and they put him in the bathroom the bad girl she says why are there no mirrors in here and then I looked and I was like it is a bathroom and there are no mirrors what's going on
And that was the creepiest moment. Because you know that's a real room in a real house that they were shooting in? And that's an improvised line. Yes. That was to say, help, help, something's wrong. Okay, so I thought that I thought in that moment that...
that Ginger had taken down all the mirrors in the house, like Phantom of the Opera style. Right. She didn't want to see herself. I love it. I love that. Yes. I hope that's the case. I get that. I get that, but I don't know. I feel like there's something weird because she's also in mirrors in other parts of the house.
She's in mirrors. She's on camera. She's fucking making... By the way, Beauty and the Beast, she's making videos and a lot of them. And all she's doing is covering this part. She doesn't... That's the other thing. She never stops. She stops for two weeks. It's not Beauty and the Beast. I agree. I agree. It's not Beauty and the Beast. It's Beast and the Bad Boy of Baltimore.
My favorite scene is when they're doing the video where they're decorating the tree. And I love these movies because they try and establish the absolute maximum of masculinity is she's decorating the tree and he's just chilling with a basketball. He's not shooting because there's not a hoop. He's just putting it up and it falls down.
Because he's a skateboarder. Yeah, because he's like, he's a bad boy and he hates Christmas. Why doesn't he just skateboard in the fucking house? That would be cool. Hey, I love skateboarding on marble. I don't know. I got nothing to do. What do I do? I want to play with this. Okay. I guess I was also like... God forbid if anybody ever tosses me a ball in a movie. Also like...
My brother, you are a dad. You don't get to hate Christmas. Like, you have a child, a young child. Is he a deadbeat dad? What's that? Is he a deadbeat dad?
Well, I don't know. I think he might be. Because where's the mom? I feel like it sounds like he was and now he has done the right thing and is reengaging in his son's life. So we don't know his ex. We don't know his mother. Well, my question was, is he married? Is he married? And this setup is, again, this setup, we haven't talked about the plot of the movie yet.
At all. I'm only now realizing we've been here for four hours? Four hours. And we have not talked about the plot of the movie at all. So the plot of the movie is...
Both of their influencer numbers are going down. And so their agent who they share creates a fake PR stunt relationship that they're going to be in to boost their numbers. They hate each other. They agree to do this. And in the doing of it, they both succeed, fail, and fall in love. But it is meant to be a fake relationship such that I was like, oh, the reveal that he had a child, I was like,
oh great, show me that he has a family. So this is all just a complete fabrication for him that he, because I love the reality of he needs the money. He is struggling because he is 62 years old.
And he's still trying to shred at the skate park. And I don't even, we didn't even touch upon. I don't know what's up, but this guy is like, I don't think so, my guy. His cameraman was the most upsetting part. His cameraman was clearly like a cameraman past his prime. Like he looked like he was just trying to be like, hey, I still got it. No, like he, it was really upsetting. I will say this though. The, the, the kid.
Noah. Noah. The kid. The kid. It's weird to me, and I feel like it wasn't really dealt with, that he offered up Noah to be like a big brother, big sister. In his video? Well, no. Doesn't he offer him up to be like a big brother, big sister thing? He offered Francesca. Oh, Francesca. So wait, so that's not his kid. I thought Francesca's his kid. No. Noah is his kid. Watch this movie, Paul.
You didn't notice that he was signing with Noah. Or you just thought he knew sign language. I understand. And when he said, this is my son, you thought he meant this is my daughter, Francesca.
You know what? I think I was watching side-eyed a little bit and I thought that I saw that whole scene. Paul, you have every right to not know the intimacies of this movie because this was straight trash. It's better that way. I can't believe that I know all of these relationships. When you said Noah and Francesca in the beginning, I genuinely was like, oh no, June watched the wrong movie.
I was frantically checking the cast. There are no names. Those aren't the names that I know. I'm pretty sure it's Bo and Ginger. I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Noah and Francesca? What has happened? Oh my gosh. Well, maybe the audience watched it better than I did. Let's go out here and talk to the crowd. Huge mistake. All right, your name, your question. Andrew, and did you notice that when they brought out the packet that had a terrible drawing, a child's drawing of a woman in a wedding dress, and she's like, my dream wedding dress. Yes. I laughed so hard at those drawings. Yes.
It was truly like, it was like a stick figure woman with a triangle on top of her. It was like someone's kids did it and they were like, put it in the movie. I will also say that when she stumbles across the idea to dress as Rudolph, I was like, you've been doing this that long and you never got to Rudolph? Like, Rudolph is the... But also, Paul, I found it so wild that the movie switched gears and now we're heading toward like a third act that is ending in a wedding and not the gala. We never...
got to see her cool. We never got to see the gallo. We never see the costume. We don't even see the costume getting made. That was infuriating. Okay. This movie shockingly let me down. Me too. It's so crazy to say that I was like unsatisfied. Like it left me wanting. Oh, it's so rare for the podcast to be watching something and be so close and be like, you're breaking my heart movie.
I'm not on your side. Hi. What's her name? Matt. Matt, what's her question? So do you think she was actually building foster homes or some sort of Christmas cult compound with this money and raising these kids as her followers? Wouldn't that be great if it was some sort of follower farm or something like that? I will say that I was disturbed in the beginning of the movie when it said it took place in Clearwater, Florida. What? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, I didn't catch that. No, I was just joking. Oh, oh. Because I was going to say the movie makes so much sense now. Then, in fact, everybody's acting normal. I'm in the balcony. Oh, God, be careful. All right, what's your name and your question? I'm Matt. So, uh...
Most of Kensington's time in the film seems like she's pointing out how crazy everyone else is. Do you think she's supposed to be sort of a stand-in for the rational audience and all these, watching these crazy people? That's an interesting point of view. I just want to know, is Kensington employed there? Is she on the payroll? Because she's in a number of videos, it seems. Can I say how... She definitely lives there. How happy I am...
And she only wears one shirt. Which tells us, do you know what that tells us? She worked one day. Kensington worked one day. That was her outfit. She worked one day. But listen, they changed her lipstick a few times.
Shirts stay the same. And this is why I love you, Minneapolis, because you guys, we're all on the same page. We're all only obsessed with Kensington in this movie. 80% of my notes are like, what does Kensington think of this? Why is Kensington allowing this to happen?
Okay, your name and your question. I'm Audrey, and I am wondering why when Beau recognized Bijou from hanging on his father's wall, his father did not recognize Bijou. Such a great... I think his dad was playing it cool, but they definitely fucked. Bijou and the dad for sure fuck, and I bet that's the sequel. And honestly, I would watch it if it was on Pornhub.
Does Pornhub do Pornhub originals? They air all their originals on ION. Okay, I'll get to both of you. Here we go. You go first. Your name and your question. Hi, I'm Samantha. We haven't talked about Howard taking out the photo of himself as a young skateboarder yet. Oh yeah, his dad. Loved it. Great moment. Well, it's not just that he takes it out. It's presented as a gift.
As if it's a picture of Bo as a boy that the father has had. That's not the case. I've kept... What? Okay, why is everybody screaming at me? It's a picture of the dad as a kid skating. I know. That's what he said. I know.
Are you yelling at me about that? He said it's not as if it's the sun. Yeah. No, what I'm saying is it would be more meaningful to Bo if his dad had a picture of Bo as a child skateboarding. If I'm Bo, I would be like, you had a picture of me skateboarding this whole time? I don't remember skating this young, is what Bo says, feeling for the first time connected to his dad. His dad, that's not you. That's me.
story your story is about me me on a skateboard me me me me yell at me you know what I was on board with you guys earlier then you turned against me just like Bo's dad alright I got another question up here your name and your question Ben Cannon thank you for your full name you're welcome
Ben Cannon. Great voice. Ben Cannon. Great name. Thursdays, 9 p.m. CBS. Last week on Ben Cannon. Thank you. Previously on Ben Cannon. Ben Cannon. You gotta write mystery books. Thank you. I can try. A Ben Cannon mystery.
So I looked up this movie to try to watch it, and on Just Watch and IMDb, it immediately suggested A Snow White Christmas, which I assumed was connected. But then as soon as I saw the asylum in the opening credits, I put together that this movie seems to be the, you know, snakes on a train or transmorphers to A Snow White Christmas, which came out the previous year.
Oh, interesting. Okay, because I noticed Asylum as well. It's written by the people who wrote Sharknado and things like that, but it seemed like from their social media posts that they were transitioning away from schlock and going into, like, Ernest schlock. Like, that was like, we understand it's schlock. Now we're doing, like, Ernest schlock. That's my favorite of the Ernest movies.
Now, it is interesting that you said that you found Snow White Christmas because when I typed in Beauty and the Beast Christmas, I only found the Disney Beauty and the Beast Christmas. It seems like it would be harder to find Snow White to Beauty and the Beast. That's like AI going, I think you meant this thing. But yeah, so Asylum is behind this.
Yeah, and that movie, also bad. I watched Beauty and the Beast Christmas four times to try to find some meaning in it. Okay, Ben. Ben Cannon, can I talk to you for a second? Just you. Everybody else, shut up. Ben, don't do that.
Your time is valuable. Your time is valuable. Spend it doing anything else. Did you find any meaning after four times? Are we just interviewing Ben Cannon? Can we get back to us? Is this a one hour? Are we doing a last look with Ben Cannon? I feel like he's leading to something, but I didn't let him get it out yet. So hold on. So then I watched A Snow White Christmas. Ben, respect yourself.
The only real connections to be found were that early on in both movies, a character breaks a beloved childhood Christmas ornament as a way of establishing character. And also, both directors went on to make to-be-original films. The director of A Snow White Christmas...
Ben, we're getting a lot of info, but I don't think any of it is relevant. This is too much. It's taking up too much space in your hard drive. Paul, what's happening between you and Ben? Do you not feel you can walk away? You know. I feel like you gave it four times. I guess I gotta go. I gotta go. I will say Paul is like, kind of like wilting. I've never seen anything like it. I feel like Ben is sucking the energy or life force out of Paul. Are you an energy vampire?
I do think, I have seen this, by the way, with Paul, where there's men who have a certain deepness in their voice, and Paul gets immediately fascinated by them. And I just watched that happen. Are you kidding? We're all susceptible to a stentorian alpha like Ben Cannon. We can't not! That's the t-shirt! Stentorian alpha Ben Cannon! Yeah!
Or at least somebody will do it as a bootleg. Okay, your name and your question. Hey, I'm Danny. Two things. First, just shout out to Willem because he did amazing. And then two, to get to the beauty and the beast of it all is Bo, a masculine version of Belle to be Beauty from Beauty and the Beast. Now that's what I was looking for from Ben Cannon.
Ben Cannon sang his siren song, Paul, and you just couldn't. Yes, if Ben Cannon started talking right now, Paul would levitate like a Looney Tunes cartoon smelling a Christmas ham and go all the way across to Ben Cannon's voice. Ben Cannon, we're going to need you to do ad reads for How Did This Get Made. I want to hear you say bonobos.
Okay, your name, your question. Tyler, I don't have Ben Cannon's register, but... Yeah, we know Tyler. Hey, Ginger is definitely the beast. She's been, quote, horribly disfigured. She seems to be stuck in her... Castle. In her castle. Her friend slash servant slash whatever is stuck in her one form of that one shirt.
Wait, so are you saying that Kensington is Mrs. Potts? Sure, yeah. Yes. I like it. I like this. All right, so you did away in there. I was going to come to you, then I pulled away. I'm going to come back to you. Let's see if we can... All right, what do you got? My name's Travis. Can we discuss Ben's relative strength scene to scene for a moment? I like this question. Wait a second. To be clear, Ben Cannon? Sorry. Sorry.
Ben's? I think we all know he's ripped. You think Ben Cannon's ripped? I apologize. Ben Cannon getting a lot of traction in this show. Anybody know who Ben Cannon is? They keep saying him. Who's Ben Cannon?
So when Bo and the Halloween influencer are trapped in the bathroom, they have to trade so that he is leaping off of her back to reach the ceiling access to get out. But then, in the next scene that we see him, he, Captain America style, jumps from a balcony and lands in a slow-mo action pose ready to attack Bo.
his agent. Yeah. And it doesn't seem to line up. Oh, no. Yet a Christmas tree falling at a slow pace gives him ambition. I would say is no greater than seven feet tall, knocks him out and puts him in a sling.
Literally amnesia. Yes. Well, keep in mind, okay, and I think this is tough because, yes, he's knocked unconscious by the tree. He gets amnesia. He jumps off a balcony and superhero lands. The guy is especially strong for someone who's like 73 years old and still skateboarding. My favorite thing about the beginning skateboard sequence, too, with the bad boy from Baltimore, the bad boy of Baltimore, is that we never see him skateboard. No.
We never see him on that thing doing anything. It's almost as if the actor himself can't skateboard. It's almost as if that could be a problem. Okay, obviously there's a lot to say. A lot to say about a lot. But you know what? There are some people out there that just want to give this movie some love. Some people that have a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions.
Paul would do the P when you look at Amazon. Critics might try to dissuade, but they are completely wrong. Second opinion. Bad movies never seem so good. Good opinion. It's such a sweet
Merry Christmas. Feel it, feel it. Such a good opinion. It's time for Second Opinion. This movie, it was the best. Gave it a five-star review on Amazon.com. Second Opinion. Called from Atlanta.
Great job. Happy holidays. Amazing second opinion songs. And let me talk to you about second opinion reviews. There are 141 total reviews. 59% are five-star reviews. The average rating, 4.1 out of five stars.
This movie came out in 2019, so this first review is... This movie came out in 2019? Paul, I'm going to need you to look at that again because I'm pretty sure this movie came out in like 2003. Okay. According to IMDb, they were in pre-production 9-5-19, September 5th, 19. They were in post-production November 6th, 2019, and the movie was released December 15th, 2019. Wow.
So from pre to release, September. Well, those dates, those numbers make sense. So that is a quick turnaround, a very quick turnaround. I think the quickest turnaround in the history of film is Star Trek First Contact. So that's true. So that might have beaten it. Okay. Kate Hickey. Kate Hickey writes, almost nearly perfect in each and every way.
And I do hope it remains so. Five stars. The title, just right. Is she afraid it's going to be re-edited? I don't know. I hope it remains. I hope they don't re-edit this movie later. Release the Snyder Cut of Beauty and the Beast Christmas.
Make this four hours long and make it make sense. I need more Kensington. Marvin the Martian. The middle two hours are just him having amnesia. Then we get to this one by Wolfie Watches. Wolfie Watches writes...
I can't believe Joaquin Riverdale and Parrish Teen Wolf are in this movie. Him doing dirty talk with Christmas puns got me feeling some sort of way.
Thanking Santa for his shirtless scene, the fact they aren't milking all these social media moments is mind-boggling. Him shirtless in the bed injured would be great for a post, or her getting injured could have been milked for so much sympathy. And they could have done a partnership with some sort of organization about allergies and such. Amen.
So this person thinks this is a documentary? Or a reality show? No, no, these actors should have been putting up these posts. I'm sorry. There are a lot of laugh out loud funny moments like him nearly dying from the tree or the food fight.
Okay, but where is my bad boy skateboarder that will never wear dorky matching Christmas-themed outfits? Seriously, having so many shirtless scenes, was that in his contract? I don't care. It's working for me. Okay. Wow. I now have a couple of questions. Is someone in this movie named Joaquin Riverdale? Well, I believe that one of these people is from Riverdale. Is one of these people from Riverdale?
Now, is that why people reacted to the Luke Perry mention? Because he was also in Riverdale? No, I think they were just reacting. Is the main actor Bo from Riverdale? It's the manager. The manager is from Riverdale. And then who is from Teen Wolf? Bo. Bo is from Teen Wolf. Minneapolis. Watch better shows. It's so funny that this woman was like so...
for this movie because I was so turned off by everything I was seeing. Even the fact that his cast was like a Christmas sling, I was like, no. And then the way they built to this scene where they're about to kiss and he's in a Christmas onesie, I was like, this is sickening. And the horniest... If he kisses him, if her first kiss is with a grown man in a Christmas onesie...
And what has gotten them all horny, the metrics that they're talking about for their engagement on the channels are what's getting them worked up. That first scene, they're talking about influencer metrics, and that's what's getting them all hard and wet. Just so you know, the review is not over. What? What? So I'll pick it up from...
I don't care. It's working for me. William, drag queen officiant and superhero landing off a second story balcony. Then a candy cane fight. Everyone falling into a pool. Another shirtless scene. And so much more. This is my favorite Ion Christmas movie.
Hallmark hotness, five stars. Interesting. So are they suggesting that what makes Ion movies different from Hallmark or perhaps Lifetime is the amount of shirtlessness and objectification that's going on? I guess. I mean, maybe they're a little bit more sexy, but it didn't seem that sexy. They say at the wedding, someone says, can you believe every influencer in the world is at this thing? They cut to
to the wedding and I'm not kidding I counted there are 18 people there not only that I wish that was every influencer in the world and we could blow that location up
I will say this. The aisle that she walks down is lined with toilet paper. There's no other way to describe what's on the ground. I was so deeply upset about the wedding. It felt like a movie that was built on, here are cameras, here's a bunch of random stuff from the trash, make a movie. I don't know. June, what do you think? Oh, gosh. This put me in a bad mood.
I was irritable after it. I was angry about this one. Um,
I think it's also because I've watched two bad Christmas movies in a row. It's something to be seen. It is absolutely outrageous, but I don't think I can recommend it. Okay. I like a Christmas movie. There's no bad Christmas movie to me. Even this. Wow. Even this. I can sit back. I feel lightheaded. Yes. This isn't a Christmas movie. By the way, this movie
This movie does not end on Christmas. This movie is only about craven commercialism and capitalism. The theme of the movie is making as much money as is humanly possible. When they cut to one year later and it's them, it's all about them again currying favor and wealth amongst their followers. This movie isn't about the Christmas spirit. You know how it could be if at the end they're like not online.
Okay, well, I want to say two things. You don't have to applaud for my rant. You didn't applaud immediately, which means you don't agree. Minneapolis, entire audience of influencers? I do want to say two things to you. First of all, the original title of this film, Social Engagement. Better title, to be honest. Makes more sense. Also, before we end the show,
I don't know, before the show started we showed you this animation of Drop Dead Fred, right? I don't know if you know this, well I think you guys know it, Drop Dead Fred was shot here in Minneapolis.
I will say I did not know that. The entire house where it was shot, you can see the house up here. That's the house. That's the tree, right? It's where Fred got run over by the truck. You see his feet here, right? Remember that? There it is. And so because Drop Dead Fred is our guiding star, I made a pilgrimage today. Boom. That's where you went. Oh, my God.
I went to the drop-dead Fred house. That's where you went today. I knew you went somewhere. Team Sanity! I had to visit the mega bitch. You know what? I visited the mega bitch's house. You know what? It's a total Team Sanity move to go to the house. June and I, Team Fred, we said...
the day with Fred in our imaginations. That's right. We didn't have to go out and walk to a house. I hope you went up to the door and was like, hi. They were not home. Team Sanity.
Did you try? I looked around. I was a little nervous because it's a very residential block. And I had an Uber drop me off in the middle of the block. And I was trying to take pictures in front of this house. And I saw the UPS guy look at me weird. I saw some guy come out of his house look at me weird. They were not home. I was going to peek in the back to see if that little area was still there. What?
I knew you went somewhere. So just to set the scene, we were in the hotel room, and I was waiting for an important call from our son who had lost a devastating soccer game, and he was really, really upset about it. And I said, we have to FaceTime him, Paul. And the next thing I knew, Paul was at the playoffs. He was upset. Playoffs. I said, we have to talk to him. And then the next thing I knew, the FaceTime's coming, and Paul's gone.
I said, where were you? Where did you go? And he came back and said that he was on a walk. So now I know. Did you? So you. Now I know. How long was this? Ten minutes away. Oh, OK. Ten minutes away. Not not too far. Did you like leave anything? Did you? Well, I kind of I got nervous to shout out Team Sanity, but I did say it a couple of times quietly. Oh, much worse that you were like Team Sanity.
Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Team Sanity. Diane Raphael. I am Paul Scheer. Thank you so much. Bye-bye, everybody. Great work, everybody. Eat shit, Minneapolis.
What a show. Thank you to the staff of the Pantages Theater, our amazing tour manager, Beth Thomas, and all of you in Minneapolis who made it such a great time. If you've been jonesing to attend one of our live shows and you live in Europe, or maybe you've just wanted an excuse to take a trip, well, I got some good news for you. For the first time ever, How Did This Get Made is going on a European tour. We're going to the United Kingdom and Ireland from March 28th to April 3rd.
We'll be traveling across the pond to London, Glasgow, Belfast, and Dublin. Tickets are on sale now at hdtgm.com. And once we select the movies for each show, you will find those listed there as well. Now, if you want to feel like you are a part of the Beauty and the Beast Christmas show, well, you can because you can get yourself a shirt that was designed live with the audience that night. The shirt design says, Bank Cannon, an Ion original. It is...
Truly one of my favorite new shirts that we've made. And you can snag that shirt and more at tpublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM. Just a reminder that I am in two holiday films right now on Netflix. You can check me out in The Family Switch, a great family holiday movie made my family and my extended family incredibly happy. Also,
a disturbance in the force, a documentary about the Star Wars holiday special. We talked about the Star Wars holiday special here on the show many years ago. You can watch it on YouTube, but this is a documentary that truly does answer the question, how does
Did this get made? And that is available to purchase on VOD, or you could just get it as a Blu-ray. A disturbance in the force. I think you will really dig it. It's really fun. If you have any corrections or omissions for this episode and you want to, you know, give me a call, tell me about it. We'll go to our discord at discord.com.
dot gg slash HDTGM. Or like I said, leave me a voicemail at 619 Paul ask. Then make sure to tune in to next week's last looks episode. And I might, I might pick it. If it's good enough, I'll pick it or I'll play it. I'll do something. Anyway, I will share a bonus deleted scene from this episode. Plus we will announce our next movie. Remember you can find us everywhere online at HDTGM.com. Make sure to follow us on threads. And if you love the show, tell your friends to listen as well, because word of mouth,
helps, and it's a lot more fun watching these bad movies with a buddy. And last but not least, I gotta say thank you to all the listeners who support the show every week, and our entire behind-the-scenes staff who keeps this show running. I'm talking about our producers, Scott Sonney and Molly Reynolds, our movie-picking producer, Averill Halle, and our engineers, Casey Holford and Rich Garcia, and of course, our associate producer, Jess Cisneros, who makes those amazing social media videos. Alright, that's all I got. Bye for now. ...
Heroes!
Hi guys, Amy Nicholson from unspooled here and the national sales event is on at your Toyota dealer making now the perfect time to get a great deal on a dependable new truck, like a rugged half ton Tundra combining raw capability with premium comfort and advanced tech to fuel your wildest adventures or check out the fully redesigned Tacoma delivering trail dominating power and captivating style. The new Tacoma was born to make your off-roading dreams come true. Check
Check out more national sales event deals when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places.
Everroot dog supplements can help keep your dog feeling their best every day. Ever playful. Ever curious. Ever thriving. Visit everroot.com to learn about supplements that can help with your dog's unique needs. From multi-benefit to skin and coat to hip and joint. Because every dog deserves to feel their best. Everroot dog supplements. Powered by Purina.