Matinee Monday: Hercules LIVE! (w/ Leslye Headland & Sasheer Zamata)
01:11:58 Share

How long have these meal kits been in my fridge? One week? Two? How much am I spending on these? Hey, Erica.

Did my subscription go up? When your questions about life turn into questions about money, there's Erica, the virtual financial assistant to help you spend, save, and plan smarter. Only from Bank of America. What would you like the power to do? Erica is only available in the English language. You must download the latest version of the mobile banking app only available on select mobile devices. Your chat may be recorded and monitored for quality assurance. Message and data rates and additional terms may apply. Bank of America and a member FDIC.

Hey, everybody. Just wanted to give you a quick heads up here. There's something we should all be doing. It's going to improve your life, make every day a little bit better. And that is eat more Reese's peanut butter cups. Yes. Think about it. All the gurus, all the coaches out there, they've never said the words eat more Reese's peanut butter cups.

Eat more Reese's. I mean, that combination of sweet chocolate and salty peanut butter. I mean, this is something that brings other people and ourselves joy. That's why there's two in a pack. Shop Reese's peanut butter cups now at a store near you, found wherever candy is sold, and often in my pantry because I love these.

Hey, everybody. Sweater weather is over and sweaty weather has begun. And that's why you need a pair of Bombas socks because they are a premium extra long staple cotton sock that feels light on your feet all summer long. I love my Bombas. Why? Because they support my arch. So get ready to get comfy and give back. Head over to Bombas.com slash bonkers. Use the code bonkers for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-O-N-K-E-R-S.

bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Throughout time, ancient Greek mythology has served as a roadmap to understand time, creation, and good versus evil. But never has it been as exciting or as realistic than when Lou Ferrigno donned a loincloth and tossed a bear into space. We saw Hercules, so you know what that means.

Howdy.

We are here live at Largo. Holy cow.

We have a great movie on deck for you tonight. It's a How Did This Get Made special edition. We have two special guests tonight, two guests who've never been on the show. It's going to be really, really fun. What can I tell you about this movie? There's a dude named Zeus. He gets a kid. He's going to balance good and evil, but guess what? King Minos has another plan, all right? He's going to try to sabotage Zeus' kid. But you know what?

He didn't expect the good-natured, the strong, and slightly dumb Hercules to get in the way. We're going to break it down here. And all the stories that I don't know much about Greek mythology, I'm going to say 70% of this movie is not in Greek mythology. Right off the bat. I'm going to say, like, inspired by Greek mythology, Greek mythology adjacent, um,

One of the things that you'll notice with this movie, too, is it says the incredible Lou Ferrigno because he was the incredible Hulk. So they want to remind you, just, oh, it's the guy from the thing. That's who he is. Because, you know, people were flocking to see a movie where Lou doesn't even use his real voice. Get into it all. But I can't get into this at all without bringing out my co-host. Please welcome Mr. Jason Manzoukas! What's up, jerks?

How we doing, everybody? Jason. I don't understand what you're confused about, Paul. This is Greek mythology. Well, I... Here's what we've got. A pantheon of gods. Yes. Robots. Yep. That was the part that I was like, don't remember that many robots in Greek mythology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you remember all the robots?

So Transformers were invented by the ancient Greeks? Yep. That's what this movie is. Okay, this movie... Wow. This movie is, for me personally, the urtext of bad movies. Yes. I saw this movie in the theater... Wow. ...with my family...

I'm going to be honest, probably because it was about Greek shit. Well, I was going to say, like, do your family feel like an allegiance? I don't know why. We went and saw it. It is famous in my family, this movie specifically, and meaningful in my life because it is the first time we walked out of a movie. Like, this movie...

is in my family holds a special place as the movie we walked out of. My mother, upon understanding that we did this podcast, said, have you done Hercules yet? Wow. That, I mean, I, what I guess, there's so many details I want to get into. The thing I think that

me the most about it is that this movie played in an actual theater. Oh, yeah. A million percent. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. I purchased tickets to this movie. Like, and there is a world where you would go up to the counter and be like, one for E.T. or, oh, actually, you know what? Hercules with Lou Ferrigno. And in that imaginary scenario, I am an actual person in it.

Like, that actually happened to me. That is absolutely amazing. I love that you have a history with it. I did not know it. Oh, no. And re-watching it, I was like, because I texted you, I said, you sent out a text that said, hey, don't watch The Adventures of Hercules starring Lou Frigno. Watch Hercules, whatever the distinction was. And I said, as long as we're watching the one where he throws a bear into space. Yes.

Creating Ursa Major? Then I know I'm watching the right one. I think what I meant to reply to that text with was, well, he also throws a bear in The Adventures of Hercules 2. Does he really? Yes. I have a page of notes on The Adventures of Hercules because I watched 45 minutes of it and I was watching it on Vudu

And they put ads in it, and at 45 minutes, it's like, fuck these ads. I'm going to buy it on iTunes. And I bought it on iTunes. I was like, wait a second. This is a different movie. And I was like, what did I do? I'm already on a low tank because I've watched 45 minutes. And then to start from the beginning. Wait, you're on a low tank because you've already come during the 45 minutes before? Non-stop. Yeah. Can't stop, won't stop.

I will tell you in The Adventures of Hercules, there is a static bear. He's made of static electricity, and he fights a static bear. What I like about this movie is that it's hard. It's a romance. Anyway...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have two amazing guests for the podcast tonight. She is an amazing director who most recently co-created and directed the Netflix show Russian Doll. Please welcome Leslie Hedlund. Welcome, Leslie. Have a seat. Hi, guys. Hedlund. Here.

Present. Fan of the podcast. Really big fan of the podcast. FYI. So excited to have you here. It's really great to be here. Dreams do come true, guys. Just keep going. And to talk about this movie, which I feel like sometimes you get in a real sweet spot. This movie, I mean, watching the trailer before we started this podcast, you remember, wow, all this happened in a brisk 90 minutes. I mean, it clocks along. What were your first impressions of Hercules? Really loved it. Yeah.

Really, just unabashedly loved it. When Paul sent me an email saying, just FYI, there's another movie called The Adventures of Hercules. Directed by the same person, starring the same person. Please make sure you don't watch that one. The one we are watching begins with Zeus on Mount Olympus with two people, which is categorically untrue.

This movie begins with the birth of the cosmos. Right, yeah. But by the way, they both start with the birth of the cosmos. Oh, okay, gotcha. I'm sorry, are you talking about the elements are night, day, matter, and air? Yeah.

Guys, the movie... Excuse me? Day. Matter. And air. And air. What? Think about that. Like, water just got totally fucked. Think about those as elemental forces. Night. Day. Day. Matter. What? And air.

fuck water, fuck fire. The minute they said that in the movie, I was like, fuck. It also went on for like, I wish I could walk out right now. It also went on for like five minutes, so I really was like, I may still be watching the wrong movie. Oh yeah. It was like the beginning of Tree of Life. It really was.

really why it was a Terrence Malick movie I was like that is what this is Terrence Malick made this movie that's the big surprise he's here tonight ladies and gentlemen let's get around I was gonna say that the opening felt to me like a dude who runs a local planetarium it's like yeah man I run this planetarium in Maine we don't got all the financing but I'm putting it together it's fun man we do Pink Floyd shit but we also do science shit too

You know, it's like, it's so like weird. But is there such thing as a Pandora's jar? No, no. Okay, because that was where I was hung up. Yeah, not, it's a box. It's a box. And it felt like they were specifically avoiding that word. Yeah, they were like, the jar broke apart. Don't look in Pandora's jar.

I weirdly enjoy, I have to say, I kind of enjoyed this movie, and then it seems to have been completely erased from my memory. Oh, yeah. It's like, as I was watching it, I was like, oh, this is cute. Yeah, it's dumb, and it's badly made, but like, you know, this is fun, blah, blah, blah, and I was like, great, you know, we'll talk about, don't remember, I cannot remember. The movie is the equivalent of... It was a government experiment. Like, I can't remember. It's like invisible ink. You see it for a second, and you feel it intensely, and you're like, and then... And then it's gone. It's like a dream. It's instantly forgettable.

Honestly, what movie are we talking about? What are we talking about? Truly. I watched that trailer and I was like, did that all happen? Yep. All of it. All of it. And we will get into all of it. We have another special guest tonight. You know her from Saturday Night Live. You also know her from a brand new podcast that she does with Nicole Byer. Please welcome Sashir Zameda. Welcome, Sashir. Hello. Thank you. Hello.

What are your thoughts on Hercules? Is this your first exposure to Hercules? Well, this iteration of it, yes. You were a big fan of The Adventures of Hercules. Yeah, loved The Adventures. Which you've watched many, many times, but not this Hercules. Not this particular one, yeah. There are so many versions of Hercules. Like, I mean, The Rock has done Hercules. Kevin Sorbo has done Hercules. That's what I'm more acquainted with. Okay, yeah. Where do you feel like...

Lou Ferrigno stacks up in the Hercules that are out there. Do you think Sorbo or Ferrigno? I have to go Sorbo. Okay. Interesting. Controversial. Okay, great.

I mean, this movie, it's interesting. We were saying at the top of the show, they're really resting on the laurels that he is the Incredible Hulk, but he is the Incredible Hulk, the non-speaking entity of that TV show at the time. Right. He's just the Hulk part who just goes... By the way, Paul, great job. Yeah, good job, Paul. Jason, thank you. Can I ask you a question? As we approach Avengers Endgame... Mm-hmm.

Do you see the writing on the wall and you're like, they're going to need a new Hulk? I got to get out there early in the pod, making sure people see that I'm capable of giving you that Hulk vibe. Kevin Feige, I hope you're listening. Or should I say, Feige, listen to me. Anyway, no big deal. I got to keep on, you know, keep the job alive, people. I got to get out there.

I would love it if you got cast as the Incredible Hulk off of this. Paul, we heard your audition. We heard you on How Did This Get Made, and you said, Feige smash. What I realized, I guess, in watching it was this movie was so heavily influenced by Superman, or Superman is so influenced by Hercules. I don't know. Chicken or egg. Yeah, I don't know what came first, because clearly the story of Hercules. Hercules came first.

Are you sure? I mean... In Greek mythology, Superman wasn't before Greek mythology. So in Greek mythology, right? Yeah. Krypton is about to blow up. Jor-El puts Kal-El in an egg and sends him to Earth. Ma and Pa can't find him.

They name him Clark Kent. Just like in Hercules, when his adoptive parents find him and they're like, "Well, I guess we'll call him Hercules." Why does everybody know his name is Hercules? That shouldn't be possible. You know, name a kid Hercules, send him down a river, people are like, "Here's a baby." And then also have him be Hercules. The baby doesn't remember his name.

Nor is there a sign taped to him that says, this is Hercules. I mean, there was a lot of references where I was like, is this Prince of Egypt? And then they were literally in the Garden of Eden at one point in time. The movie really jumps around. There's a lot of, they're going from planet to, they're on different planets at points. But also hell. They also took a rainbow to hell. The rainbow to hell.

hell. Which is an odd choice for hell to be like, hey, I know that we get a bad rap. Let's just pop this rainbow here and throw people off to scent. Yeah, it's fun. I found it to be very homophobic. I'm just going to say that. The rainbow? Rainbow to hell. I see it. I see it. I see what they're saying. I see what they're saying.

I will say that that hell sequence was one of the best sequences in the whole film. It was so slow. So slow. The whole movie is slow. They show you a real boat ride. They literally show you a man, and not only do they show you the boat ride, they slow it down. They slow down the frames of it.

How can we extend a slow boat docking? We'll put it in slow-mo. That happens throughout the movie. Throughout the movie, they switch pointlessly to slow-mo. Oftentimes to just be like, here's a moment. It's not a moment. It's not interesting. It's not good. And it's just, I suspect, to pad the movie. I think.

To make it longer? Yeah, like some sort of mafia guy said, like, it needs to be 90 minutes. Again, fight past me in your stuff. Marty Scorsese? Paul Scheer is available to play an Italian gangster. Hey, Marty, let me tell you something. What?

your movie we'll have a lot of fun calzones pizza pasta it also didn't seem to be shot in 48 though it seemed to be shot normally and then just slowed down later so it was kind of a million percent this is not a well made movie oh no

Although I have to say that some of the choices, like when we meet Zeus, I'm like, I'm liking the look of Zeus. I'm liking... I'm liking the look of Zeus. I love the... He's wearing a store-bought beard. And a crown... A Santa beard. And a crown of nonsense.

If you view the movie like those high school kids who put on the Alien production, you're like, this is pretty good. Those kids did such a better job. They did, yeah. The wigs, all of the gods stuff is absolutely out of control. For some reason, everybody's costume, it's like the costume designer made the choice like,

the main choice was crotch. That was the choice. They were like, let's start with the crotch, move out from there. We'll go from crotch up to just half nipple. That's my favorite thing. Sybil Danning, who's the evil woman who's chasing him. I saw the top of her areolas. And her wardrobe is on the bottom of her boobs. It is boob-colored.

So what you're looking at appears from the picture to be she's topless, but she's in fact not topless. Well, I zoomed in. It's not, you don't see it. It's the classic Kate Beckinsale and Van Helsing look of just not quite up, but just right on the nipple. Thank you for using your own nipples as measurements. It's a visual medium, right? Yeah.

Everyone's going to see that, right? Okay, cool, great. Yeah, see? Underneath is flesh colored. Yeah, she is. I mean, and the other girl is in a paper shredded dress, which it went through the paper shredder, but not all the way so they can still wear it as the top is together. But what I find so interesting, and I did a little research on this, or I should say Nate showed me some research on this, that Sybil Danning signed on for like an X-rated, R-rated dirty version of Hercules. Yes.

And Lou Ferrigno read that script and was like, no, no, no. We're doing it like G. And she was like, well, I still want to do the R-rated version. And he's like, I don't. So she's playing up her R-rated version. And it makes sense. Oh, yeah, these costumes feel like they're from a, this feels like from the porn version. And then Lou Ferrigno feels like from the ABC Family version. Although he never puts on a shirt, and I feel like he should have at least worn a shirt at one point.

What? No way. He's, I guess, Stone Cold Punk. That's why you're watching the movie. What? You're watching just for that? Like, I mean, you don't want him to have a shirt on? I thought maybe he was too muscular for a normal... What? No way. He's...

He's got to always be shirtless? That's a pretty tough life. That's the draw. He's Hercules. He's a stone cold hunk. Most of this movie was reasons for him to lift or push something. Yes. Even the way when we meet him and he's a little bit older and he's like plowing the field. It made no sense. No sense. Whatever he was doing, it was like it's going to take forever for you to do that thing. And you're just tearing up the lawn? What are you doing? You're dumb. He was pulling three stones.

Like, he was yoked like an ox, like pulling three stones to dig out the farm or whatever. It really was like... By the way, his parents are murdered effortlessly. Yeah, very quickly. Very quickly. Like, you know what? Listen, I understand. Luke Skywalker's parents, they work at a moisture farm. Who knows what's going on? Jason. Those are his aunt and uncle. His aunt and uncle. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But, like...

His adopted parents, his adopted parents, Hercules' adopted parents, they've got a regular farm and they are immediately murdered. And,

And the clarion call for his mother's murder is just somebody being like, your mother's in danger. Your mother's in danger. She takes a spike right to the chest. Is that what happened? I thought so, right? Didn't she take a spike to the chest? He was like, what happened? I feel like he gets there and she's just like on the ground. And she's like, well, he moves her to the there's a robot in the sky. And I'm like, did the robot shoot her?

They didn't show that part. And that's what I assumed. Like, the robot must... The robot in this movie. And then he moves her to this, like, outdoor bedding area that's just very convenient for her to die on. This pelt that happens to be outside. It's like, I feel like that's the actors going, like, if I'm going to be dead for, like, six hours here, put me on something comfortable, please. Yeah, I don't want to sit on the dirty ground.

Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I love Squarespace. I'm in the middle of trying to balance my business life and my real life. This work-life balance, it's tough. But Squarespace has been helping me by giving me the tools to reach my goals and have time to celebrate. That's right, Squarespace is the all-in-one website.

Bye.

perfect text. Anyway, I love Squarespace. I've been building sites with them from the beginning. And when I launched my book, I said, I'm doing it all myself on Squarespace. And I'm very pleased with it. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This back to school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. Now, here's the thing. I love back to school season, but I'm going to be honest, it's expensive.

Every year I'm getting a new backpack. I'm getting new scissors. I'm buying so much stuff and back to school season. I need a little bit of help, but back to school shopping doesn't have to break the bank. And here's the thing with Amazon, you get great deals and everyday low prices on everything.

everything that your kid needs for a successful return to the classroom. Now, I was one of those kids whose parents would go back to school shopping too late, and then I couldn't get like the cool folder with ALF on it. But don't worry about that because Amazon's got a whole wide selection of back to school items. Get it now. I just bought...

my kids' stuff on Amazon in July. And then when September comes rolling around, I am the hero. You'll find quality products at Amazon that your kids will love all while sticking to your budget. Shop Back to School at Amazon and spend less on your kids. Visit amazon.com slash back to school to get started. That's amazon.com slash back to school.

I don't know about you, but I am a person who always is thinking about the safety of the people and things that I value the most, especially when I'm away. And that's why I trust SimpliSafe to protect my home because I will sleep better at night when I'm not at home, knowing that SimpliSafe's 24-7 monitoring agents are standing by to protect me.

me and you. So if someone tries to break in, they can send emergency help when you need it most. Best of all, they have this thing called the live guard protection. That means that SimpliSafe agents can act within five seconds of receiving your alarm and even see intruders and warn them that the police are on their way. You know, I recently read about a break-in in our neighborhood and my initial instinct was to get worried, but then I remembered I have SimpliSafe, which means I don't have to worry.

because my home is protected. So protect your home this summer with 20% off any new SimpliSafe system. When you sign up for fast protect monitoring, just visit simplisafe.com slash bonkers. That's simplisafe.com slash bonkers. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.

Well, I mean, Zeus, we should just talk about the elephant in the room, which is Lou Frigna's voice is not in this movie. Much like Schwarzenegger's voice in Prezi. He was dubbed in some, but the one that we watched. Hercules in New York, right? He was dubbed in that, right? On some versions. We watched the version that was actually his voice. We did? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I thought he was dubbed in that. No. No. Because he keeps on going like, Hercules, Hercules. Like he has, yeah, he has like a very intense accent on it. So here, it's, you know, it's Lou Ferrigno having a voice that I can only describe as like a very, like, very classical actor. I'm Hercules. I'm Hercules.

Stop. I'll hurt you. Like, it's like a very... I don't know if it's amazing or terrible. It's matching his performance perfectly. But I can't tell which is better. Is it bad? Is it great? I don't know. Thoughts? It's bad. Yeah, all right. I mean... Definitely bad. I concur. It is bad. Yeah. Okay. So is that because Lou Ferrigno is giving him bad...

like, track to run on because, like, Lou Ferrigno's not overreacting. Like, when his mom dies, he's like...

You're dead. There's a lot of cutting to him when he doesn't have lines. Right. This happens a bunch throughout the movie where they will be like, there's a scene where they are having something active happen. They cut to the gods. They cut between the gods. The gods never speak. And they cut back to Earth or wherever they were previous. And this happens to Lou Frigno a bunch where they cut to him for a reaction. He doesn't say anything. He's just kind of like,

Then they cut back.

to whoever was talking. And it's... It is unsettling to watch, if I'm being honest. I found him very endearing. Yeah. And I felt like the voice was calming, almost like ASMR or something. Like where, you know, I didn't realize until halfway through... Well, I knew he was dubbed, but I didn't realize it wasn't... It's not his voice? Not his voice. Because Lou Frigno is hearing impaired, so I think that they made a very bold choice to be like, you know what? We don't want...

to position... We don't want Hercules to sound like Lou Ferrigno. We want him to sound like a British man. Right, got it, got it. As a British man. And I didn't know he was dubbed, so I... Oh, really? Oh, not until I started watching the movie. Even though I'd seen the movie as a child. In the theater. In the theater, bought that ticket. Don't worry about it. Reese's Pieces. But... Oh, so when it started, I was like...

on a second. That is not his voice. And I was like, oh, that's too bad. Yeah. I would like to have seen the Lou Ferrigno cut. Talking about his body. Release the Ferrigno cut. Yeah, it's out. That's a hashtag. Get it out there. Release the Ferrigno cut. What are you guys scared of? What are you afraid of? Uncut Ferrigno. He is uncircumcised.

How do you know we never saw his dick? Like, literally my first note was, where is his dick? Because it was just that weird Ken doll kind of like... Oh, the beginning. I screamed. I screamed. I was like... They showed him as a full adult with no genitals. And then he became a baby. But like, why not make the choice

to give him a loincloth. Like, why not make that, why make the choice of finding something that looks exactly like his skin color? Keep it G. Keep it G. Hercules hat. But put him in an underwear. I mean, because I was literally looking at my screen like, is that a dick? Is it not a dick? Now let me ask you this. If you saw that in real life, would it be weird or would it be cool? Like, if you saw that, like, unveiled in front of you in real life, would you be like, ooh, this is hot? Or would you be like, this is weird. I don't like it, Jason.

Think about it. And write Jason. Use the hashtag. You can just write at me. Weird or not weird. Just tweet at me at Paul's Twitter. I have so many messages to convey to you via my Twitter. Dude, you're killing it on Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Oh, thank you. What I love about you, you're saying like, you know, one of the appeals of Lou Ferrigno is like not wearing the shirt. But one of the funniest things I think happens in this movie, and I've noticed with The Rock too, is

Strong men like that running is the funniest thing. When he runs, I was like, there is nothing funnier on the earth than a really muscular man trying to get across. Oh, this is when his mom dies. Yeah, so this is... Oh, yeah, your mother's in trouble. This is him running. We won't even play sound because it's like... It just...

Like, I almost feel like people who do, like, a lot of lifting never do cardio like that. Like, they're like, I don't know how to run. Like, it's a... You're asking them to do the most impossible task of all time. And here's the patio bed and action and action. Get down on the deathbed. You know, a lot of these old houses came with, just in case you were murdered on your front lawn, you'd have a little deathbed area. Yeah.

This is a little taste of his voice. Yeah, this is where she looks up and she's like, the robot? Yeah, this is a little bit of a... I can't believe I got killed by a robot. Mother, tell me what happened, please.

And she looks up to the robot that's in the sky, and that is the last time any eyeline is right on this movie. Like, Hercules is looking down and to the left, and the robot is, like, up and to the right. Like, no one had figured out, like, where that robot was going to be. No one placed it at the right place. Like, there was no... Like, this is the beginning of CGI, and shit was not working out. He is... He's a beast of a man...

And yet they try to make him very agile. Like there's a part in the movie where he jumps really high. There is no way a man of that much musculature. He's part God. He's part God. So just jump straight up in the air. Yeah, yeah. He can jump. And you know what? Greeks can jump as high as we want. Whoa. Look, there's that guy in the Milwaukee Bucks, right? I mean, he's the... Sure, sure, sure. I don't know who you're talking about. Sports is lost on me.

Hercules seems to defeat these villain robots with such ease. It doesn't seem to be a challenge at all. Here he just throws two logs at us. Done. The robot's done. He clobbers one with an anchor and it's like, who cares? Do we want to talk about how he threw the bear into space? I want to talk about it forever. It was really wonderful.

I really loved it. I really was like, I hope it explodes and then it became a constellation, which was even better. That's how constellations work, maybe. Hercules is MO. Like, clearly that's a person in a suit. I mean... The fur is a different...

a different color. Yeah. It's like the first cut of The Revenant, you know, like the first, like just the blocking rehearsal for The Revenant was just like. This was what Leo watched to inspire him. Yeah, he was like, yeah, this is what they told him was going to happen. The bear is also in the

middle of the forest and everything they cut to the bear it's like clear skies no tree in sight and when the dad in the earlier in the early part of this scene when the dad is looking for the bear the bear appears to be like hiding behind a tree delicately

Also, the dad acts like he's never been in a forest before. He's like, Hercules, if you don't hear a response, there's not a human around you. There's probably an animal or a bear. Get out of there. You've been farming here for a long time. Is this the first time you saw a bear? Yeah. But also, Hercules just pounds this bear's head, seemingly kills it, and then his M.O. is...

toss it into fucking space. Yeah, get rid of it. Everything he does is like, toss it into space. Destroy the evidence. He's like a fucking polluter. Like he's putting more trash in space than anybody. If I had that option, I would throw every person in this room into space.

I would throw people into space all the time. I would love to be able to throw people into space. This is the arrogance of Hercules. He's like, I'm just going to throw this bear into space. This bear murdered my dad. So here it goes, yeah. The bear is launched, and when the bear is launched, it's like a teddy bear just flying through space. It really is very floppy. But by the way, so it becomes, you know, cat, it becomes...

Ursa Major. When it becomes Ursa Major, then it becomes like a video screen where you just see the bear living its best life. Like a highlight reel for the bear. The bear's like, finally, I live in space.

Are we to believe that every solar, every constellation is just... They say that in the movie. That's what they say in the movie. They're like, are you going to continue to throw things in space to create stars? That's basically what they say in the movie. So everything is, every constellation is space garbage. So at one point, Hercules got mad at a pan and threw the pan up there. Oh yeah, he threw that log. Remember when he threw the log? And I was like, great. Where's it going? It just kept going. It didn't work out. It never stopped. It never stopped.

Also, can we talk about how the gods are on our moon? Yeah. They're just on the moon. What's up with that? That's weird. They divided into different planets. Also, I think they only covered Jupiter and Saturn. Yep. And Earth. Mercury. They did Mercury too. But also, Earth was not created. It was just like, and then there's Earth. And also Earth was there. And also Earth was there. And then the gods were on our moon. Yeah.

And these are the gods. That's what the gods look like. Yeah, we'll give you a little taste of their... Imagine a world in which that is your god. Honestly, it's a world that I want to live in. I mean, me too, truthfully. This is their moment of trial. They've got to show themselves... I mean, if this was a Lady Gaga video, I'd be like, I get it.

If you were saying, oh, this is a Lady Gaga video, she is God, I'd be like, oh, okay, I guess I get it. But by the way, any of these costumes in this movie could be appropriate at a Lady Gaga concert. A million percent. Have given them. But evil is dark and strong. And it may be that the scales of fate are not yet in full balance. What can I do to equalize both sides of the struggle, Athena? Can you pause, Pop? This is the movie.

We're playing scenes from the movie. That's how slow it moves. This is the conceit of why Hercules was created, right? And I watched it a couple times and be like, I still don't understand why they did this. They're like, there has to be a balance of good and evil so we should create one person to take care of all that? Yeah, and it seems like then they just cheat all the time.

Yeah. Like, Hercules should be dead many times over. And then Zeus, with his fucking creeper hands, like, ah, ah, ah. Oh, yeah. Let me capture that boat. Zeus is very handsy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Put that boat in my hand. Let me hold the baby. I'll put him down here in the river. Oh, la, la. By the way, before when I guess it's King Minos, when King Minos says, like at one point his number two is like, I'm giving you the sublime pleasure of killing a child. Yeah. I was like, if I was a number two, wouldn't that be the job that number two would take a big?

I'll kill the kid because he doesn't want to kill the kid. It wouldn't be like the cool thing to do. The bad guy wasn't like, you kill the kid. I'll take the power. You kill the kid. It was a weird thing. I thought that was so weird too because it was like the number two. It was like a plot twist in act one. And you can't really have a plot twist in act one because you don't know what the fucking plot is. Like,

No, it made more sense later on. Well, I'm the bad guy. And you're like, but who is everybody? Like, I don't know who anyone is. You just killed two people that I didn't know. That were sleeping and not sentient. So I don't know what's happening, and this isn't a surprise. To be fair, I didn't know what was happening at all in all of the movies. I went back and rewatched. One, two, three, maybe four or five. I'm not sure how many acts were in this movie, but it seemed like too many.

Definitely. I kept on having like micro naps and then I'd have to rewind the movie. And every time I rewind it, I was like, I don't remember this. And then I'd go back even a little bit further. Like the movie was erasing as I was watching it. I was just checking my phone periodically. It would be like, what the fuck did I just miss? Now he's like 50 feet tall and he's like splitting. He's in Africa and he's splitting up the continent. Oh my God, Africa was nuts.

Africa was... The king of Africa showed up with a white woman and white slaves? White slaves. That was a very different depiction of Africa that I've ever seen in my life. When they said the king of Africa is coming to talk to you, I was like, now what's this?

Like, how does this happen? He's in the belly of, like, a skeleton of a woolly mammoth surrounded by all white guys. Like, that is it. And then I didn't understand why he was there and why the King of Africa split up the continent. And then the witch that he's with turns him into a giant, and it starts to make, like... One of the things I love about this movie is that it is, like...

In the past, obviously, everybody's like, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like 1980s, you mean. But all of the visuals are like laser sounds and Pac-Man music. Yeah. Like, in that scene, it is literally from, like, Pac-Man. It's like, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka. He's getting bigger, and it's like, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka. I was like, what the fuck is this movie? Yeah.

But then they had to do stuff like this. My favorite moment is in that Africa scene where they're like, okay, Hercules, step behind this rock. So he's like, got it. So they could do this weird effect where they could just cheat it. Like, can you hide behind this tree? Yep.

Same thing with when she wants him to get her talisman out of the protective egg that it's in. And he has to put his hand in this way. First it lights on fire. And it's like a static arm on fire. Then it turns to cold. And then he's like, oh, it's so cold. And then they're like, you did it, it's fine. And he's like, got it, I got the talisman.

But like, it was so cheap and I really was like, I'm old. I really had a moment where I was like, I'm so old that I saw this movie in the theaters and it looks like straight garbage. Like, I have lived long enough for a movie that looks legitimately like trash. I paid full price to see it.

- Look, Jason, when you saw it in the theater, did any of these graphics look good? - So good! - They really, they did? - I mean, they must have looked good enough, but we did walk out. So they-- - When did you walk, do you remember when you walked out? - I don't remember when we walked out, but there was definitely the second half of the movie I did not see. - Got it. - Like everything that happened in the second half of the movie, I was like, this is new to me. So probably somewhere in the halfway mark. - Yeah, it's a bizarre, it's a bizarre, bizarre movie

I was going to also want to talk about the idea of like when Hercules' parents are dead, he's like, well, I guess I'll just join this. I got to go fight. Someone wants me to go fight. He also burned his house down. Yes. Oh, yeah. He just tossed it. My parents are dead. I guess I'll just burn my house down and leave my house. And the guy was like, hey, Hercules, are you okay? He's like, no, I'm fine. I got it. I'm fine. I'm just going to burn everything to the ground. You know what? Like sell the house. Yeah, someone else could live there. Get on Selexa, man. You're depressed, okay? You need...

a little. You need some talk therapy, man. Just don't burn down your family home. He cleans the stables with a flood. Oh my God. Which made no sense geography-wise. He threw a boulder down to the river and then he was up on a cliff and the water went up. Also, how many horses must have died?

Everybody must have died because where does it end? But first of all, that barn didn't look that big. He could have done it in a night. It's the king's stables and it was like six horses. It was maybe ten horses could have been stables. That's embarrassing. They didn't say make it crystal clean. It just felt like clean the horses. But also when that got brought up, everyone was like, oh, that's impossible. Yeah. Very small stable. Bitch, he threw it

bear in this space. It's going to be fine. You know, like, but also... And she's like, oh, no, you, nobody can see me. No, nobody can do that. Oh, my God. Can we talk about the veil? Let's talk about the veil. Hedlund, get into the veil. Let's talk about the veil because the veil was oppressive to her. It also didn't serve any actual purpose because it was completely see-through and it was so close to her face that every time she breathed, it would be like...

And I was concerned for her, truly. I was concerned. And she was like, I can't take this off because I'm so beautiful. And I was like, yeah, we can see you. And you look great. You look great. That also seemed like hardly a fair trade. He's like, if I clean this table, which no one thinks I can do, you got to show me your face. After she explained, the person who sees my face, I have to marry. So he's basically being like, you got to marry me if I clean the poop out of here. Yeah.

Exactly. That's exactly what he is. He's basically like, if I cause a flood, get rid of all these turds, I get to see your face, and that's true love. Then you're mine forever. And she's like, okay. Okay.

That sounds good, yeah. But by the way, when she took it off, she's instantly in love with this man, and they've had no real conversation. The only thing that she saw was that he went to go play at the Majesty's Games, which seems like no one showed up to. No one was there. Like, it just seemed like for the four people. And they keep on, like, testing him, and I don't understand why they, like, test him again. Like, sure, I mean, he clearly is the strongest. Then they keep on sending out weaker and weaker people. It's like, send out the wrestlers.

That was the weakest group of wrestlers. They were like out of shape. Tiny. I was like, yeah, they had to like, he took a log. He fought them all with one log. Which he threw into space. Is that after you watched blades not affect his legs? Oh, that was crazy. And they're like, send out the wrestlers. He fought horses. He ripped apart a chariot. He jumped up into the air. He threw a bear into space.

But I'm saying at least in front of the majesty. And then they're like, send out four overweight dudes who like to wrestle. It's almost like the wrestling team from high school 20 years later. It's like a high school reunion. Send out the Von Erich brothers. Right? All the Von Erich brothers? Weren't those like wrestling brothers? There was like four of them? Guys? I think I might have gotten too old for the podcast.

Is it possible to fall instantly in love like the two of them? What do you think connected those two, Cassiopeia? Well, I think Cassiopeia was like, da dick. Like, she was like, ooh, I've never seen someone so strong before. He jumps real high, and he's just like, da pretty woman. Like, they're both idiots.

They didn't have a conversation. They didn't connect on anything. It's beautiful people falling in love. It's just a bunch of dummies. But then the end of the movie is so weird because it's all about getting Cassiopeia back and he gets Cassiopeia and he's like, are you the witch or are you Cassiopeia? And she was like, you'll never fucking know, bitch. Let's do this.

It was such a non-answer. It's such a weird way to end the movie. She was like, I'm her and I'm all of them and I'm also me. But it also kind of fell into the whole stuff that happened at the beginning where it was like, you know, the fireballs of chaos that are also matter but also the good and bad of the universe which has been broken into arrows pointing toward people. And you're like, wait, what? I'm so sorry. And at the end she said the same thing.

same thing she was like it's me but I'm also no one and I'm everybody and he was like I am everyone let's do it I would have liked Whitney Houston Whitney Houston but dubbed over Whitney Houston I like it he's like I am I am her I am them I am you and then it became Lou Ferrigno and he just kissed himself I think that would have been a great ending oh man that would have been amazing it was a journey about self-love

whole time. Hercules, you must love yourself before you can defeat any evil. I felt really bad for that witch who stayed with him for so long of that journey. She really put up with a lot. It felt like the setup was she was going to send him on a quest to do all of these things, which makes sense.

I did not anticipate that she would accompany him. She kept saying, I can't go there. And then she would go there. She would go with him for all of it. And she'd be like, look out, do that. What are you doing? Like it was weird. There was a weird thing when he goes to that island that after he swims for seven days and seven nights against the island. And then she's like, we're trapped here. And he's like, we're trapped.

But it's like, dude, you just swam for seven days and seven nights. You're never trapped. Like, if you could swim for seven days and seven nights, you'll find another fucking island. He's so upset. Like, why does he forget your powers now? Also, I was confused about her powers because he was like, put this rope around the rock. And she's like, do-do-do-do-do.

And then the graphics were like, this is where the budget is. It was that slow rope crawling around. So slow. So slow. So slow. And then he threw it into space. And I was like, can't you put magic on the chariot and fly yourself to wherever you're going? We have to use his brute strength to throw this rock. And basically what we're saying is he threw the rock so hard and long that

that it will just take the, they took the chariot on a ride and they landed in the right spot. He was like, we landed at the right place. We did it, we did it, we nailed it. Oh, and then when they landed, he's like, oh, what the hell? What happened to your magic? She's like, I fell in love. Oh, damn. What? You fell in love? I fell in love.

I'm powerless now. And then he's like, oh, never mind that. There's the island. Forget what you just said. There's the island. Like, way to avoid. She just admitted she's in love with you. He's like, yeah, but gotta go and save this girl. I don't know. I felt nothing sexual from Hercules at all. At all. Which is an odd thing. I would almost even venture to say that in cinematic terms, in this movie, Hercules is a woman.

Like, meaning he has no agency. Like, he's only wanted for his body and for what he can give other people. They tell him what to do, and he's like, sure, okay, great. And then no one's attracted. Like, oh, no, except for that woman at the end who's like, you're mine now, and now we're having children together, and you will sire my breed of warriors. Like, literally, like, those are his only...

contributions to the society of astral gods or whatever that we're looking at. And he has put on Earth to bring balance to good and evil. He doesn't seem to ever have a desire to do it. He's like, I just want to get that lady...

Well, no one explains that to him. No one's like, oh, by the way, the gods created you. You're here for a purpose. Did he bring balance? Is Atlantis full of evil people? Is it good that he destroyed Atlantis? I mean, and there's even a part where he's like, I wonder why I'm so strong.

Goes on with his life. You know, like, it's just like, oh, wow, no one's going to explain anything to you. Which is usually, like, the female romantic lead is kind of usually that person that's, like... I like this idea. You know, like a damsel in distress, almost. And, like, yeah, he fights a bunch of stuff, but he doesn't actually do anything that's his idea. The only thing he has agency over is, like, he just does these selfish acts of destruction. He's a bear thrown into space.

throw it into space. He just throws shit. The only thing he seemingly enjoys is throwing shit into space and maybe killing animals. We see him kill animals twice. He's very good at it. He's got some anger problems. And I would too if no one told me what was going on.

If I was a pawn in a game? If nobody told me I was half God and that I had the strength of Zeus and I was just out in the world, yeah, I'd be pissed off. Well, no one told him that. I don't think so. He doesn't seem to enjoy fighting, nor does he seem scared by fighting. He's just sort of like, yeah, I'm doing this. I think that's also why he came off so not sexy because I was like, he's a child. He has a child brain. He's an infant. Yeah, he never flexes in any way. It's like,

horses. Great. Okay, sure. Yeah, what? It seems like a person who's worked a 12-hour workday, like, can you just do six more hours? Steve called in sick. He'll be working. Yeah, I got it. Yeah, he just dropped the kids off at school and the dishwasher's full. You know what I mean? He's just like, yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, stables now? Okay, great. Let's just go. They make

so little effort to show you what's going on. They just keep cutting to them just not reacting. They just are static. Well, this is the most powerful moment. He's finally reunited with his love. I know we talked about it a little bit. This is the acting here. Let's see. Kiss me, Hercules. Wait, are you really Cassiopeia or Ariana in a new form or Circe reborn? I'm all of them and none of them. I'm the one who truly loves you.

So hot. So awkward. And they're standing so far from each other. They really are. It's because they're naked. Like, they're really trying not to touch each other. I mean, it's... I can't imagine a less romantic shot, actually, than... And then they outline that in, like, neon lights. Yeah. And by the way, that's the most... What? Look at those feet! I had to believe that that has also become a constellation. Yeah. Yeah.

And are they staying like that forever in the stars? This is awkward, like hug, like this head to head hug. It's like, I thought it feels like two people who didn't want their bodies to touch, but like this, their heads are like, we're, we're touching. It's like, Hey, who are you? All right. This back to school season, spend less on your kids with Amazon. Now here's the thing. I love back to school season, but I'm going to be honest. It's expensive.

Every year I'm getting a new backpack. I'm getting new scissors. I'm buying so much stuff and back to school season. I need a little bit of help, but back to school shopping doesn't have to break the bank. And here's the thing with Amazon, you get great deals and everyday low prices on everything.

everything that your kid needs for a successful return to the classroom. Now, I was one of those kids whose parents would go back to school shopping too late, and then I couldn't get like the cool folder with ALF on it. But don't worry about that because Amazon's got a whole wide selection of back to school items. Get it now. I just bought...

my kids' stuff on Amazon in July. And then when September comes rolling around, I am the hero. You'll find quality products at Amazon that your kids will love all while sticking to your budget. Shop Back to School at Amazon and spend less on your kids. Visit amazon.com slash back to school to get started. That's amazon.com slash back to school.

Friends. Oh, friends. You want a podcast? I'm going to tell you about one. It is called Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. Now, after Cheers wrapped up decades ago, Ted and Woody have reunited sharing stories with their friends that they have met over the years. Kristen Bell, Will Arnett, Conan O'Brien, Jane Fonda. These are just a few of the guests they have had on their show just decades ago.

to kind of hang out with and just laugh. It is a fun hangout show. What are you waiting for? New episodes of Where Everybody Knows Your Name drop Wednesday. Be sure to listen wherever you get your podcasts.

What are people thinking out here? And I want you to ask your question in the best dub voice you can muster, okay? Yeah. So, you know, it's like, hi, my name is Darren, and my question is... So something like that. So who has a question? All right, somebody back here. Okay, let's go back here. Your name, your question, here we go. My name's George. I read that the budget for this was $6 million, which is about... I want to kill myself, okay? Okay.

Which is $15 million in today's money. If you were given that budget to remake this, what would you do differently? By the way, let's just put it first. One more caveat on it. It's also in Italy. So $15 in Italy is probably like $30. Yeah. First things first, I cast Lou Ferrigno. Yeah, yeah.

Straight away. And use his voice. The guy gets it. But use his voice. Exactly. Yes. That's the big takeaway. Initially, that's why I thought the dubbing was happening because it was shot in Italy. And so a lot of times those are dubbed because basically the crew doesn't want to be quiet. Oh, wow. Like that's actually... Somebody...

I'm going to name drop, but I did a pilot with Alfred Molina who worked on Ladyhawk. And he was talking about how... One of my all-time favorite movies. All-time faves. Rutger Hauer, Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer. Who's on Instagram now. I like fell in love. Fred Molina. Fred Molina.

Leo McCurt. We can just keep going. But anyway, so point being that he said that the crew would just torture Richard Donner by not being quiet. Oh, no. So he would go like... Of course, you have to imagine that I'm Fred Molina and not me, a bad actor. I think of you like that all the time. Really? I'm like, Leslie Hedlund. Has a real Molina vibe. You're like an Alfred Molina. You're like a real Doc Ock. Yeah, yeah, totally. But he would be like... So Richard Donner would be like, Silencio! Silencio!

And of course, the Italians are like, we just talk through everything. Like, they just dub it later. So they're like clinking stuff around, like all through the entire shoot and like just driving him insane. Well, most Italian crews are made up of Mario Brothers. They have pipes to fix. They're out there racing around on little carts. Yippee! Yoshi's up to nonsense. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Throwing their turtle shells. Hello, my name is Jan Karl. Do you think they kind of shoehorned this into like a Christian story? Because one, Zeus, unlike in the original myth, is created without sex. Two, as you pointed out, the homophobic rainbow to hell. And three, the bad guy kind of is science. Yeah. There was a lot of like weird...

Yeah, the King Minos character does like, yes, as we saw in the, whatever it was, the trailer or whatever, he does denounce the gods and favor science, but he's also like, but listen, if I can do the gods a favor, I'll do the gods a favor. And also, yeah, when they put the baby in the raft and stuff, that's all Moses. Yeah. Yeah, there were a bunch of like, we're just going to try to slip in...

And the literal Garden of Eden was there. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels to me like someone heard a Greek myth and then like it was a couple years ago and they were kind of drunk at a party and then they were like, yeah, yeah, no, and then, then,

Then they eat the apple, and then the Pangea splits, and then... Then the King of Africa's there, and also Hercules, and also lasers. Oh, and Superman. And also robot bugs. It was weird, because everything was like...

myth adjacent where it was like you could do this research why didn't what is there like copyright on like pandora's box like why can't you just say the thing yeah pandora's box is a phrase like you don't need the jar the jar of pandora that spreads out all over the i don't know even know what it spread out like the jar is part of the world and the jar was before planets existed yeah first there was a jar

Who made the jar? First, there was a jar. First, there was a jar. And on the second day, God said there will be a jar? Then, there was night. Jupiter and cashews and Reebok sneakers and... Commercials. Commercials. Oh, there was also a voiceover at the end of the movie and I was like, what?

You remember this? It was like tours when the princesses were being walked down the hallway to get sacrificed. There was a voiceover as if it was the end of a TV show where it's like, what will happen next? The princess is not looking so good right now. And I was like, wait, we can't just do that. You need to establish more. These Duke boys are in trouble. Tune in next. It's Waylon Jennings. Yeah. Looks like Bo and Luke are in trouble now.

It'd be great if they were like, oh, it's a movie? Oh, just leave it in. There's no commercials. Obviously, we had an opinion about this, but there are other people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions.

Have an opinion? What do you say? Put it on Amazon right away. We think it sucks, but you think it's great. Second opinions, come in your way. There's a June bird on my shoulder. Is the truth for real? Someone thought this had appeal. Second opinions, they're here to stay. Second opinions, read one today. Amazing. And you know what, sir?

That song might not have been a freestyle, but you definitely deserve a Coke freestyle hat and glass. Again, the show is not sponsored by the soda machine, but the soda machine does respond to you on Twitter, and you can interact with a literal soda machine. Not the company. It's not like...

Coke or Sprite, it's the machine. It's the sentient machine that tweets, and it's kind of fun. It's a fun Twitter account. These are five-star reviews, cold for man of Amazon. The movie has 79 reviews total, pretty low. 51% are five-star reviews. For the first time ever, I've actually...

pulled some, I've actually pulled some visual reference here because we're going to need it in a second. I'm going to read you this. This is from Just Another Schmo. It writes this. If you're even looking at this, you don't know why you're here. He throws a bear into space.

He blasts a three-headed robot dog and he single-handedly sinks the city of Atlantis in the space of 90 minutes. Oh, and it was made by the same people who gifted us with Star Crash. Nothing more need to be said. Five stars. Should we be watching Star Crash? I immediately wrote that down. Jim Moulter writes...

Big Lou, what else is there to say? The review goes, this movie is pretty stupid, but to get to see Big Lou at his best is alone worth watching. It's good motivation at the gym. Five stars. Somebody's watching this. To get motivated. And also, like, loves calling him Big Lou. Big Lou. Big Lou two times in there.

He's hoping it sticks. Everyone's going to call him Big Lou. Big Lou. Big Lou. This one's written by Jerry. Bought it for my boyfriend. He loves it. Five stars. This one's long, but I have to read it because it's so great. Parts of it. JB Hoyos writes, and the title of the review is, From Hulk to Hercules, Lou Ferrigno's physique is incredible.

Winner of the coveted title of Mr. Olympia and hailed as one of the greatest bodybuilders who ever lived, it seems only natural that Lou Ferrigno would be given the role of Hercules, the epitome of masculinity. He possessed one of the world's most perfectly developed male physiques, described as godlike. It had the ruggedness of Reg Parks and the aesthetics of Steve Reeves.

Each film starred an attractive cast. Voluptuous bad girl, Sybil Danning, played an evil princess in Hercules, had an energy-infused Star Wars-like score from renowned musical composer Pino DiNaggio.

Furthermore, the sets and costumes are beautiful. These Hercules films are rife with adventure, fantasy, and romance and are suitable for Ferrigno fans of all ages. They are excellent vehicles for showcasing his super masculine physique to the utmost possible while maintaining modesty.

They are on par with films made during the sword and sandal age that prospered during the late 50s to the mid 60s. Fans of the Incredible Hulk series will want to watch this double feature that's this in The Adventures of Hercules to discover, as I did, how well Lou Ferrigno cleaned up after having all that defacing green makeup removed. Can I ask you, is this review from Lou Ferrigno? No.

Is it possible he's written this? Get ready for this. I feel like I'm at a... All this. Oh.

One, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five. So that's 30 shots there. So about 60 stills from the movie in his Amazon review. I didn't know you could put pictures in your review. Yeah, there it is. All just pictures of his muscular, muscular body. Just in it. Like getting into it. Like...

Oh, oh, oh, oh. That wasn't in the movie. Which part? Grabbing Lightning? Oh, just him splayed out like that. Yeah, oh. Grabbing Lightning is from the second movie. I can tell you because I saw that part. I will say his body is next level crazy. Like he is very built. Like this is, I mean, this must be the height. I mean, he should have won Mr. Universe. Yeah, this must be the height of his bodybuilding career. You know, it's crazy. But you know what it is, is Schwarzenegger at the personality.

Is that it? Is there a personality competition within the... Do they have to answer questions like the women do? Have you guys ever seen Pumping Iron? No. It's amazing. Have you never seen the stand-up section of all those Mr. Universe contests? They flex and then they do like a tight five. Do they have a talent section? Why...

They don't need to have talent. It's an amazing documentary, but basically, like, Schwarzenegger gets in Lou Frigno's head and just fucks him up. Like, Lou Frigno should have won, and Schwarzenegger just, like, needles him the right way, and he falls apart. Just falls apart. What do you mean by falls apart? Aren't you just flexing? Yeah, but I think... What do you have to do?

do? Did he trip on stage? I think there's a way that you need to get yoked exactly right, but also like show... What? Yoked? Well, Paul, you know this because you're a bodybuilder. I'm sorry. Who... Pose off! Oh! I like that all of your poses are like old-timey poses. How did... I don't know why I ought to...

If you watch it, I don't remember exactly like what, he just didn't have a good pose off. God knows how. But I guess like his body was really well built, but Schwarzenegger just fucking psychs him out. It's great.

So, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around psyching somebody out over like standing. Like, is that what you're saying? Yeah, I guess. He's basically like, I'm going to go out there and try to fucking stand, man. Like, that's what you're going to try to do? You're going to try to be a human? You're going to try to like experience gravity in real time? Can anyone explain it better than I? Any bodybuilders in the house? All right, yeah. Come here. What are you going to say? He's fucking with him at the gym leading up to the

Exactly. Exactly.

you really need to be in the zone to be at your best? Oh, the zone for standing? So what he's adding is the zone. I didn't say the word the zone. So yeah. I get it now. I get it now. Totally. All I had here was the zone. Where I was a little unclear was he wasn't in the zone. He wasn't in the zone. As someone who's like always in the zone. Oh yeah, tell us about it, Jason. Oh my God. Like here's the thing. Yeah, what's the zone like? Like my muscles are exploding. I'm in the zone.

No, I mean, like, I guess it is, anything's a competition. Like, no matter, even if it's just standing, it's a competition. So you are at some, in some ways, Schwarzenegger is psychologically besting him, you know? And it is true that, like, watching this or early Schwarzenegger, that, like, he just doesn't have the same zonish-ness. Well, look, they both are in movies...

About Hercules. I mean, Schwarzenegger's in Hercules in New York, and Hercules gets sent to New York as punishment. And Conan was this same year or around? I think Hercules was way earlier. This is kind of like cresting on his popularity as the Incredible Hulk, so I think this is like in the 80s. Right. And then Conan the Barbarian was when? Oh, sorry, Conan. I'm sorry. Did you think Conan O'Brien is what we were talking about?

Where does Conan O'Brien's talk show start? I had a really quick question about Conan O'Brien that I just wanted to bring up now. You guys know him, right? I thought you meant the original Hercules. Sorry, I misheard it. I misheard it. Sorry. I'll tell you what this movie did do. All right, this movie came out in 1983.

The taglines were the strongest man on Earth. But, I mean, is he the strongest man on Earth? No. I mean, he's the strongest man on Thera. I mean, he's the strongest man in the universe, I'd argue. I guess. And then the other one was the world needed a hero. It got a legend.

The budget was $2.5 million, although Wikipedia says Variety said it was $6 million. Opening weekend was $3.7 million, and it grossed $10.6 million. Wow. I like my four-person family contributed to that.

Now, think of it like this. This movie comes out in 1983, which means it's up against movies like Return of the Jedi, Terms of Endearment, and Flashdance. It came in 66th out of all the movies made that year. It was beaten by the two films that we've done in this podcast, Staying Alive and Superman 3, and the movie beat nothing. Or, yeah, that was it. So it didn't beat anything we've done on the show. But that's pretty impressive, right?

For a movie that looks this bad, it looks terrible. But to think of the Return of the Jedi was in the theater. If you were to watch both of these back-to-back, you'd be like, well, Return of the Jedi was made at least two decades later, right? That's the thing. The quality of the effects is startling. People just like Big Lou. It must be, though. The real special effect is his stone-cold body. Yeah.

Jason, would you recommend people watching Hercules? You know, I walked out of it as a child. LAUGHTER

I wish I could have walked out of it today while watching it. No, I would say this is not necessarily as fun as I would have liked it to be. It was... Maybe I would watch it in a fast-forwarding manner. Like, there's good scenes, there's good, like, nonsense wardrobe choices, there's a bunch of craziness, but it's not satisfying as a movie, I would say. Okay, I take it. Leslie? I would...

that under certain circumstances it would be a fun movie to watch. How dare you. I mean... How dare you. If those circumstances were I was on acid. Because I did keep thinking like this would be amazing.

And I hate to use that as an excuse. Sure. But truly, it is visually, like, if you're not looking at, like, the strings holding things and, like, the weird Pac-Man sounds. Like, if you're really just thinking about, man, the cosmos, right? You know, like... And, like, people, you know? And how, like, God and science, like... It's like if you're... Just take acid and watch Cosmos, then. Yeah.

kind of endearing about it like it's kind of sweet and like I don't know he's kind of sweet and like I don't know I mean I don't think I'd recommend it to anyone I know got it you know but you're happy to let strangers watch it on your recommendation yeah if I was on like public transportation or something and somebody was like what are you watching I'd be like Hercules 1982 83 83 85 is a sequel by the way this got a sequel

Oh, yeah. The Adventures of Hercules. Oh, that's what... Yeah. Yeah, I was still... I was like, I thought there was a mix-up. No, it's the same thing. Everything is the same, and from what I could tell, it's a lot of reused footage from the first movie. Yeah, I thought that was like... Because I looked... Because I got confused as well, and both of them do start with the Cosmos, so I was like, I don't know which one I'm... I don't know which one's wrong. They're so bizarre, yeah. But I thought that was like a fan-made thing.

It is not. Shockingly, it is not. And it's like spliced up parts of this movie. It's very weird. Would you recommend watching this movie? I actually thought the same thing. When it started, I was like, oh, if I was on acid, this would be crazy. But then...

Too many people are wondering if they were wishing they were on acid to watch this movie. Well, then I was, as it, pretty, as soon as he killed the bear, I was like, no. Like, that would, it's too violent, too soon, I would be freaked out. And there were so many things going on, I was like, I think I'd be terrified if I actually was on drugs right now.

So I think it'd be good in the background at a party or something. Oh, good call. I was going to say, like, an Indian restaurant. If you put this on the wall of an Indian restaurant while you're eating lunch or dinner, it'd be like, yeah, this is great. It's so fun. Yeah, it's a weird thing. Yeah, they look so crazy. That'd be fun. But not to, like, sit down and watch it. No. You know, I think I enjoyed watching it. But to me, when I watch a movie, you know, I'm coming at it from the gym perspective. I'm going to go on, like...

What can I do to get my body ripped like Big Lou?

So, you know, and I'm looking, and I'm like, well, maybe I could do this garden thing, you know? Tie some rocks to a plow. You know, so I'm getting ideas. This is like a, I call this movie like a gardening movie because it plants ideas in my head. Plants a seed. That they grow, yeah. Plants a seed. Yeah, so this is a classic sheer garden movie. You know, I'm going to be looking at a bunch of different shit. Like today when I left to do the podcast, I fucking just threw a lit cloth in my house. I was like fucking him out.

I get it. Listen, I watched this movie. I bought a pallet of baby oil on Amazon. I was like, here's what I'm going to do every day before I leave the house. Grease up this bod. I want people wherever I am, whatever coffee shop I'm in, to know I'm jacked and I'm ready to go. I'm glistening. I'm wearing a loincloth. And I took away, I'm just going to start dressing from the boobs down.

start halfway up the areola just get to your crotch yeah boobs to crotch boobs to crotch by the way just off the just I don't know how I feel about it beard or no beard was it good that he had a beard yes or was it no yeah I like that I think so always better yeah

Did it remind anyone else of Barbarella? Like, I just kept thinking, I mean, I guess it's not weird enough to be Barbarella. But it has similar things, that there's something about, like, the sets. I don't know. It has, like, a very... I guess that's what I mean by endearing. Like, where it was kind of like, it wasn't, it was terrible. Right. But it was just kind of, like, in that cute way. Made with the best intentions. Yeah. Was it? They tried. Was it? We don't know that. They gave it a good try.

We don't know it was made with the best intentions. We don't know. These people might have been like, we're making this in order to murder people. By the way, it is the canon group. Everyone in Atlantis actually died. Yes. I keep forgetting that.

That there was just like full-blown genocide. It was a bummer. He takes that sword out and he's like, I'll kill everybody just to get this girl. And the girl he gets, he doesn't even know who she is. And she doesn't even know who she is. She doesn't know. She's basically like, I'm everybody or nobody. Let's get oddly close enough but not too intimate with each other because I'm married and my wife's off camera. That's what it felt like.

All right, let's talk about what you guys have. You guys are fantastically amazing. Leslie, what do you have that you want to plug, that you want to talk about? I have nothing to plug. Watch Russian Doll on Netflix if you're so inclined. So good.

And it has been picked up for more, right? I don't know yet. Has it been? I don't know. I'm truly not paying attention. All right, great. Yeah. Leslie directed a wonderful movie that I'm in called Sleeping With Other People. Oh, yes, which is on Netflix, and you can watch that. Leslie also directed two episodes of Black Monday.

Two episodes of Black Monday. So watch Black Monday. Actually, that's true. And I directed June in Bachelorette, which is my first movie, which I think is still on Netflix as well. So if you want to see all three of them. So Cher, would you like to direct us in anything? I would love to. All right, great.

Now, you have a brand new podcast coming out right now, right? Yes, with Nicole Byer, who has been on the show before. Oh, yeah. And it's called Best Friends, because we are best friends, and we talk about friendship. And you can call our voicemail line. You can't call us directly, because we're not giving out our number. But you can call or write and ask friendship advice, and we give it to the best of our ability. And I think Jason and I are going to be on it, right? Yes, we are. That's going to be very exciting. That will be really, really fun.

Well, this is great. Thank you to Nate Cutley. Thank you to April Halle, who pulled our clips and does all of our great stuff. And thank you all for coming out tonight. Thank you, everybody. Yeah! Halle, just for me. Here I go.