Matinee Monday: Jack Frost LIVE! (w/ Dan Harmon)
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bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Hey everybody, this is a live episode of How Did This Get Made? And as always, some things that we might be doing or saying are slightly more visual. So I tell you what I say all the time, which is deal with it. I don't want to cut out the funny stuff, so I'm leaving it all in there. So use your imagination. I hope you saw the movie and enjoy How Did This Get Made? Live from Largo. In the immortal words of

of the bully from this movie. Snow Dad is better than no dad. We thought Jack! Hello, people! We are live

We are live here at Largo in Los Angeles with a very special holiday tale. Jack Frost, a Michael Keaton classic Christmas movie up there with all the classics. Before we get talking about that, let me bring out my co-hosts. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas. Go fuck yourselves. And June Diane Rayfield. Yay!

You want to say anything to the crowd? Good evening, Paul. Nice to see you, June. And a very special guest tonight, please welcome Dan Harmon. Hello. Hello. Welcome, welcome. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, indeed. May you all have snow dads. This movie, for more, like, I didn't know about this movie. I knew about this movie, but I didn't know...

How dark it is. It's a dark movie. This is an intense movie. Well, the premise is identical to a horror movie. There's no reason why it shouldn't be a horror movie. And all the characters in the movie are reacting. He spends the entire movie not reacting.

contacting his wife who is there at the end of the movie. Well, you can tell me. All bets are off because we need to talk about this in a global sense. But he spends the whole movie going, I can't look or talk to anybody. I'm a monster. She can't see me. I'm unlovable. But he spends like a full week back on Earth and does not talk to his wife at all until the very end when he's like, see you later.

By the way, God exists. Obviously. Like irrefutable proof. Get on CNN. You come back as a snowman. But I felt like he didn't even accept the fact that he was dead. Like when it comes back.

back the kids in E.T. know better to hide the weird thing than the people in this movie he is a sentient snowman who participates in every aspect of life he walks around town he goes to a hockey game he's a fucking snowman but there's

You would think that a movie like this would have some sort of like magic thing. Only he can see him or no one else will see him talk. No, he can move around. Everyone can hear him. And I would also argue, because I remember this in the trailer, the way he becomes a snowman. There's a harmonica that he hands to his son when he's still in the land of the living. And what he says is, if you play this, I will hear it. So to me,

me though that doesn't imply like here's where the magic is like here's the story and the lore of how this magic's gonna come about the movie spends it's how many how many minutes 40 of them a thousand 40 of them 40 40 this is pushing the the Ang Lee Hulk uh uh

like threshold where it's like there is no fucking snowman for 40 minutes ostensibly so that they can do everything they can to make you believe that Michael Keaton can be a snowman. Guess what? I don't believe it. That's okay. I came to America

About a talking snowman. About the snowman. I don't, it's fine. The trailer just says he got in a car accident and now he's a snowman. You might as well spend one minute on that. 40 doesn't make a difference. I don't need that much Eric Bana either. I get it.

you feel like the whole first 40 minutes was just trying to show you like he's a good dad he's a good dad he's a good dad his son's a good kid everyone's good at everything you might say there's no movie there's no conflict his kid's good at his kid beats the shit out of the bully his kid's got sex

straight A's. He's a good musician. He has a wife one-third his age. Dan, you just said he's a good musician. He is! According to the movie. Sir, on that, I must respectfully say, no way. Can you play the opening of the movie? Let's play the opening scene here. The return of Bruno, part two. Was this movie written for Bruce Willis? Ha ha ha!

have been fucking amazing. It must have been. I will tell you what I... It must have been. I was going to save this for later. The movie was actually written and the puppet was designed for George Clooney.

So Jack Frost looks like George Clooney. But George Clooney went off to do Batman and Robin. And then Michael Keaton came in and filled in. So George Clooney went to Batman and Keaton went to this? Yes. Whoa. Crazy. Freaky Friday. Criss-cross. Criss-cross.

And we just had to train them. Both of them spent 90 minutes doing ice puns. They were...

The crazy thing was that apparently the Jim Henson workshop who made the puppet were furious because they had made this puppet already. Like, ah! It doesn't look like him. I think they fixed the eyebrows. But wait, it doesn't look like George Clooney either. Tell that to the Jim Henson people. My boner says differently. All right, so back to the, here it goes. Here, the question at hand is, is he a good singer?

You be the judge. The movie says yes. Now, I just want to say, that's Dweezil Zappa. Paul F. Hopkins. Dweezil Zappa. Half the cast of Mr. Show is in it. Roy Miller directed it. There's this book, Sweat, and he views the performance. Oh, three, two, one. You saw Steve Snowman. It's a fair attempt. He was made of ice and snow.

That's his Frosty the Snowman remix. So, Dweezil Zappa, who's in the audience of that and is apparently an A&R guy for Mercury Records or something, calls somebody and is like, hey, you gotta listen to this. He pulls

the future move. And then he goes, it's your cousin Marvin Barry. But what he says is, what he says is, it's the Jack Frost band. They're kicking it. They're loving it. You gotta sign them. Because they're playing Frosty the Snowman. Which may be their only song. They're not kicking it. I guess that is my question though. Do they only play

winter-themed songs or Christmas songs. Because his logo is winter-themed. Right, but it's very obvious in the world. But in the world of the movie, nobody comments on the fact that his name is Jack Frost. Except for him, right? There's that meta moment where he's in the belly of the whale, as Campbell would say, and he's sort of shuffling down the street. And he has that little meta moment, which is like the writer's shame eruption. LAUGHTER

where he's just walking and he does this inner monologue where he goes like, why did I become a snowman? Is it because my name's Jack Frost? That's stupid.

He said something like, why couldn't God be more creative? I was like, fuck you. God is creative. He made a world. You made a shitty movie within that world. Don't end your shitty movie like blaspheme. God made flamingos and toast and stuff. Like, you made this movie. Flamingos and toast? Yeah. Those are at the top of your list that God made? Yeah.

I didn't tell June Hudson ice cream for me. You fucking assholes. Everybody that just cheered that is a piece of garbage. It's exciting to hear Da Vinci from Hudson Hawk say it. Ah, yeah.

They get excited. I didn't tell June anything about this movie when we were watching it today. And she's like, I didn't realize this is a drama. This is like a hard... You were really convinced this is an adult movie and it was a drama. I had never seen any marketing for the movie. I did not know anything about this film.

It's horrific. It's a horror drama. When it happened, and I think you know what I'm talking about, when it happened. The thing that happened? When he died? When something bad happened? No, not when he died. Oh, then what? When he turned into a talking snowman. Oh, yeah. I screamed. I'm not kidding. I said, no, no, no, no, no! It was... You didn't know? No, that was the...

That's part of watching it with her. And she did not have any idea what this movie was going to be. So what did you think during the first 40 minutes? What did you think was going to happen? The first 40 minutes of the movie, I thought, this is a great movie. I'm enjoying it. That's the secret. I wish you had been filming it. You got to wait because I'll let June reveal. But later on in the movie, June went on an emotional rollercoaster. No, I'm still hungover from this movie because...

I thought the scenes between Michael Keaton and Kelly Preston were, I thought they had great chemistry. I was invested in their relationship. I'm thinking, actually, this is a beautiful story. I know the son's having a hard time with his dad's commitment to his career, but he's showing him that he's passionate about his art. I'm very curious to see how all of this pans out. Can I ask you a question? At what point did you realize Michael Keaton is going to die?

I realized once, I knew once that he gave him the harmonica, that we were in for something. And I knew it was trouble and I was worried about him. You thought it might have been like Beyond the Pines, like it was going to at some point advance 20 years and his son would be playing House of Blues. I can't play a G sharp. What I couldn't have imagined in my world

dreams was that he was going to become a snowman. That was something that

didn't occur to me. The tone, the tone of the movie in the first 40 minutes is completely different than the rest of the movie. It's a different... Well, but it's also a weird thing because they spend, like, the first 20 minutes going, he's a great dad, it's a great family, everything's great. And the second 20 minutes is like, he's so career-focused, he's never there, he's a terrible dad, his wife is mad at him, his kid hates him. Like, it's weird. It's like, everything they just set up, they kind of wash away really quickly. What if credits had rolled?

It did feel like they were really on. I kept saying, after every scene for the first 40 minutes, I kept saying to my girlfriend, I was like, and credits. Because it's just, well, that took care of itself. I guess he finally confronted that bully about that snowball fight. And in the snowball fight, the movie opens with this scene where his son is in a snowball war thing. Well, over every hill is a

100 kids snowball fight in this town. Everywhere you go, you can walk 10 feet, crest a small hill, and below you will be a battlefield.

private Ryan battlefield. And these kids didn't seem like they really wanted to be playing. No, no, everyone hated snowball fights. Yeah, they had been drafted. Yeah, by some unseen. They had been drafted. Make that movie. I would love to see that movie. Where is Snowball Vietnam? What Halliburton is profiting? Is there some snow company that... Well, like, remember when the little girl's like, Andrews! Stuck

stuck in a foxhole getting just hammered. And how does our hero get him? He sends the other kid and says, you create a diversion. How? Get hit with snowballs, which, by the way, don't hurt. This movie cannot get its feelings about snowballs

It's really inconsistent. Is it fun to throw them, or do you hate throwing them? Does it hurt to get hit by them? One of the weirdest scenes in the movie is Michael Keaton is so unaware that he freaked out that he's a snowman, doesn't really understand that he's died, doesn't really ever address it, but then when he sees this bully, he's like, oh, you messed with snow. Don't mess with me. I got snow powers! That was actually...

- Somehow nobody else sees it. - Well, he's over the crest of a hill. - Nobody sees it and nobody also sees him snowboarding on half of a toboggan.

Because apparently the entire scene took place at the top of Vail? They live at the peak of Big Bear. Yes! I did think there were scenes missing where he so immediately knew how to be a snowman. He so immediately knew how to be a great snowman. But he didn't know how to hop two feet to the left when he ran out of ammo, as he put it. He did that. He is surrounded by snow!

snow. And then you saw dirt down there and there was like, they bothered to put snow everywhere and he's like, I'm not a Charlie boy. We got a snowboard now. But Jude, are you saying you would have liked an acclimating to being a snowman training montage? Well, I thought it would have been funny. I thought it would have been funny. John Leguizamo being kind of a dirty yellow snowman. Trying to figure out how to be a snowman. You know why you're a snowman, right? Because you didn't take care of your kid.

Now you gotta feel the cold until you warm your heart. He's dirty and yellow. Well, he's like an evil dark mentor to him. He's like, I'm what you could become, you dog piss. Oh, I would have loved another sentient snowman. You needed it. That's what it needed, a fucking leprechaun, Loch Ness Monster, anything. You can't have, you can't. The magic

and weird because it's like there's no rhyme or reason why he's there. There's no rhyme or reason why he leaves. He decides. He decides to leave. The wife is coming and he's like, I'm fucking out of here. I'm not going to hang out.

It's Christmas night and the kid even says, it's going to be cold for a long time. Here's what I would posit. They live in Colorado. Jason, here's what I would posit. I think that, I think the reason why he can't bear to see his wife is because he doesn't want her to see him as a snowman. I think...

it's less about... Well, because he does do that thing where he looks down and he sees he doesn't have a dick. He's like, whoa. But I thought an ice cold would solve that in one, two, three. It's less about I don't want to connect with her and more about I'm a snowman. Yeah. So it didn't stop him from finding closure with his son. Right, but snowmen, he was created by his son. I think there's a deleted scene where they get to the cabin and he's like, she's fucking the fat keyboardist, right? Yeah, she had to be. Oh!

Like, that guy really moves in as a fucking Judd Hirsch figure. Real helpful. A Christmas light salesman. The structure of the movie is weird because there's something built in where you think, of course we're just counting down to him melting. Like, it's only a matter of time. But that's not really what happens. It's a matter of many, many months, not a week, which it is in the movie. Well, it's unseasonably warm that week. But if they go to the cabin, they could stay at the cabin forever, though. Or put him in a freezer. Yeah.

And he could live forever. And I said to Gina, I go, would you like to live your life in a freezer? And you said... I said, yes, I would, if it meant I could be alive. LAUGHTER

With Paul. Like, you wouldn't hide in a spice closet while he was checking his junk mail. I don't want him to see me like this. When you're in a closet behind him, it's insane. Again, you'll see, like, in your mind's eye, if you're listening to this, picture a room where there's a door and a spice closet. All you have to do is go out the door and he hid in that spice closet and then go out the door in a second. Like, he's like, ah! Ah!

- No reason. - Also, what's a spice closet? - Where you keep all your spices. - Maybe, maybe a drawer. Maybe. How many spices, how much cumin? - It's Colorado. - How much paprika to dictate a closet's worth? Ooh, don't go in there. Don't go in there, I got a whole lot of spices in there.

These are just two things that... There's saffron up the wazoo. I'm running out of spices. I know, guys. Two weird things on the set design front. A... Oh. Uh,

It was clearly shot on a soundstage, all the house stuff. That's so weird that a giant, that was like a Jerry Lewis movie in his heyday. I kept thinking this is a soundstage. It was giant, yeah. You never see the front of houses on a soundstage. Was Michael Keaton like, I'm not shooting outside? I can't do it. Yeah, of course, of course. And they had to Truman show him. But Michael Keaton was only in a couple scenes of this movie. Yeah, and he was giving it his all. I thought he was great. Again, I love the first 40 minutes of the movie.

Michael Keaton was only on set for three weeks of this movie. And that's when the puppet took over for the rest. He never saw the puppet. The colors in the house, the paint colors and the couch color, I found so upsetting. They were... Well, they matched his hair.

Michael Keaton was rocking a weird color hair. - Really weird. - Yeah. - And how about that sleeveless t-shirt he wears to bed? That was bizarre. - I didn't mind it. - That's when I was like, that's legit. That and the harmonica was when I was like, I bet Bruce Willis was supposed to be in this movie.

That would have been amazing. I can't get past that. Oh, it's because the hat and the harmonica. Didn't you also feel that? This is solidly in the Bruce Willis wheelhouse. Didn't you feel that as a snowman, he had a completely different personality than who he was? Yeah, George Clooney's personality.

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The story of this movie is very strange because you would think that the child was having a lot of trouble and the father abandoned him through no fault of his own. He got into a terrible accident at a time when this kid really needed him. That's not the story of the movie. The kid's doing just fine.

And it's the story of a journey from... He quit hockey. He's like having... No, that's after his dad dies. Since his father died. Oh, yeah, that's what I mean. Before his dad dies. Yeah, the story is one snowman's journey from bad father to bad husband, right? Pretty much. He acquires the power to become a shitty husband. Because at the end, she comes over the hill and he's like, fuck off! Bye! Bye!

- Why does his wife require closure? I mean, I would feel like if he could come back, he would want something. - The only thing he says to her is, "You look great."

That's it. And then he turns back into himself for a second and for some I love you's and then he's out of there. That was a loveless marriage and she was a trophy wife and he was obsessed with his own cock and that, you're right, that's why he was a sexual midlife crisis white male who was like, well he's driving a Cadillac in the middle of Colorado in the winter. The hubris is what kills him.

Yeah, guess what? I don't need snow tires. I'll drive across a mountain pass in a fucking 1967 Chevy Impala.

I'm a piece of garbage human being. No wonder I'm gonna eliminate myself and take what modest income I have away from my family, who are now doomed to a desperate life. Guess what? They're just fine. - Yeah, they have no money issues at all. - They're fine, and next thing you know, he shows up as a snowman, makes everything worse. - Just so you guys don't have any questions about Michael Keaton and his proficiency for music, I'll tell you that he trained with musician Trent Rabin

or being to prepare. - The Benowitz. - And he-- - Reznor. That's true Reznor's original name. - He co-wrote two songs. - Of course he did. - And he also learned how to play the harmonica. And 'cause he didn't wanna be a rock and roll wannabe, he wanted to look like a real working musician. So I guess the sweat was real.

Is there anything in your fact sheet about the Jack Frost band sticker on the handle of the snow shovel? LAUGHTER

Which I had to rewind three times. The kid's shoveling, and now it's time for him to get upset about his dad's music career. So he looks at... Imagine that production meeting. You've got to figure out how to get this jacked. Or, no, I think one of... It was probably like, I don't know, what motivates the kid to get upset while he's shoveling? Should the sun turn into a gold record?

about this? What if there's a sticker on the shovel? Ooh, that's good. Oh, I like that. So the shovel's like an anti-guitar. Yeah. Because you put... Do you put stickers on guitars? Call Kenny. Ask him, do you put stickers on guitars? Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

Kenny says you can put stickers on a guitar. Hey, it's Rich. Everybody here, we're having a meeting. Everybody here wants to know if you put stickers on. You do? What? Oh, great, great. Bring me four shovels with four different stickers on them. We have to examine which one's going to be the most emotional breakthrough here. Oh, guys, hang on. Henson is saying they got to make the stickers.

They're responsible for the design of the film. They gotta come up with the steps. The first shovel is like four feet wide. No, no, you've done it wrong. The handle's too wide. We need to be more narrow. The shovel shows up with like googly eyes and a furry head. The scene where Landside plays... Oh my God. Oh my God.

And he rolls a snowman. Yep. Is a junior having trouble with that scene? Yeah, it's really sad. There were a couple of moments in this movie that I genuinely was like, I was sad. I cried at the end of it. Do you want to get into how you cried, Jen? I really got upset at the end of it. At the end? At the end. At the goodbye scene. The goodbye scene. It was very tough. I will say...

I know June for a very long time. This was pretty hysterical crying. And the shout of, I don't want him to go! No. Not really. She was like the kid in that movie. I was going to say, like the Timothy Green movie video. It's a dad!

You literally said, I don't want him to go. I didn't want him to go. I still don't want him to go. What I was really upset about is it seemed like he had so much agency over that decision. He did. I agree. By the way, I agree. He chose to leave. Nobody showed up and said, time's up, you gotta go. There was no magic clock on him. There was no reason he had to leave. He said, basically...

you won the hockey game my job is done she looks great I'm out of here yeah the wife looks great she's clearly she's holding up she's getting it from Meatlo for whoever that guy was British British junkie that guy who is probably in the commitments I was gonna say Full Monty definitely in Full Monty oh he was in Full Monty oh was he was he in Commitments no Full Monty oh he's in Game of Thrones yes is he

Oh, that was Sean Bean. Maybe we should... I can't watch this. We should watch the... No, June, you gotta watch. June is leaving the stage. June is leaving the stage. She just left the stage. Look at how blonde his hair is. That is not Elizabeth Shue. Jack.

Sing me a smile, Jack. Every time. You say, I cry. Remember when you said he was good, Dan? The movie. Remember when you said he's good musician, Dan? You see the kid's report card on the fridge. I'm not holding that up to... I'm saying the movie says he's good. Dweezil Zappa's like, these guys are killing it. Thank you.

June had to leave and come back. Did you cry over there? Maybe a little bit. My girlfriend and I watched it together, and we also were on an emotional roller coaster. We were in the emotion of awake, and then about 20 minutes in, after the emotion of checking my farm game on the iPad, I injured the emotion of a deep sleep.

And I missed some of the movie. Right after that, he like turns into like Stardust and like goes away, right? Yes. Except that you hear his voice say this. In a tone that is like an octave below how he's just been singing. He goes, I will always hear you.

Which they imagine being on the Happy Meal glasses and, yeah. I will always hear you. I will always hear you. That is the horror movie version of it. Like, it's a snowman, it's a sentient snowman that even when he goes away, he's like, I will always hear you. Even when you're fucking somebody else. I will always hear you. I will always hear you when you're jacking off, Charlie boy. I will always hear you. Ah, ah, ah.

I wish he fronted a death metal band. Do you know what the logline of this movie is? It just says, Jack Frost is getting a second chance to be the world's coolest dad. Coolest. If he doesn't milk first. If he doesn't milk first? Melt. Here's the thing about that. He is a cool dad. His dad's a musician. Yeah. He was fine. He was fine. Why is this his second chance at it?

Because he wasn't exactly there. But I would argue that he's actually getting a second chance at being a not cool dad. At being a dad who's there as a father. If he came back as a guitar and chose to teach his son hockey and snowball fight, that would be a sacrifice. He came back literally as a double amputee. Right.

He doesn't have the option of his career. Oh, I'm back as a fucking frozen corpse. Let's play soccer. Why didn't he make the argument that he comes back and is a burden to his son? That is true. Like, his son has to push him around. It is hard to transport a snowman. His son always fights with him and appears to everyone else to be a lunatic. Like, the scenes where the kid is, like, arguing with a snowman in public. Like,

But you know what? In a real movie where the snowman wouldn't be yelling back, in this movie he yells at the snowman and the snowman yells back at him. But no one gives a shit. Yeah, no one cares. What's that actor's name who does have a... He has an interaction with the snowman. Henry Rollins. The actor is the lead singer of Black Flag. Henry Rollins does see the snowman. He does see him. He recognizes him as a talking snowman.

He freaks out about it. Because the snowman is calling his name. Sid Bronick? Right. But that story's never really tied up and there are no real consequences to any of that. There's just a news story. Someone did a news story on this man who's not talking snowman. And then the kids are talking about the snowman in the car and he goes, I told you kids, no more snowman talk or whatever he says. Yeah.

I just feel that is profound though that the kids the kid has a be careful what you wish for story and that he wishes that his dad was less cool less cold emotionally less of a rock star who was unavailable to him his dad becomes a living snowman which is sort of a metaphor for an ordinary dad

So when the bully says snowman, snow dad is better than no dad, that's ironic. That's not true. The screenwriter is saying, because the bully says it, not the kid, the screenwriter's going, is venting about his own kid going, dad, when are you going to stop writing that shitty movie? And fuck mom.

And acknowledge me. Come back to us. You're not writing Citizen Kane. You're never going to be anything. No one's going to remember your name. No one cares. I'm standing outside your office accumulating horrible memories of you. I'm going to write. I'll probably end up being a shitty writer too and write a shitty book about you. Just come out here. Play with me. Let's be humans and then die together. And the dad's inside going, you fucking mediocre parasite. What?

And then, where was I? Yeah, cut to the shitty bully who says, hey, hey, having a piece of shit snowball, a milquetoast white piece of shit water dad is better than no dad at all because that's what society wants is fatherhood. I'm an artist! And then, the whole thing is like this ironic,

It's like the dictator or the great dictator or something. By the way, this guy did go on to direct and write Ghost Rider and Daredevil. That's right. Amazing! Holy me, but you know what? But then there's also that thing, and I gotta play this one scene because this is one of the best moments too with the bully.

The bully, I guess, I mean, he's not really well-defined, but we find out why he's a bully. We find out why everyone's a bully. Oh, yeah. This is a different line, but yeah. We find out the bully is a bully because his dad also has passed away. Or is gone. Is gone. I read that he was more absentee. Yeah, I thought his dad took off on that. No, he said he never knew his dad. Oh, okay. So he's like, yeah, so your dad goes and kills it in clubs for Dweezil Zappa.

All my dad did was... The great snowman, Jack Frost's snowman remix song. But this is a great, this is actually... It would be amazing if it turned out Michael Keaton was the bully's dad, too. I never knew my dad. My mom was just this groupie. That's the sequel. Jack Frost. That's the sequel. He arrives and he thinks he's at Charlie Boy's house again and this time he's at this kid's house and he's like, uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Just when you thought it was over. In a world where you can accidentally create magic rules just by making promises and stuff. Well, by the way, there's that last shot at the end where they're sort of panning through that street, the street that they live on. And in that last shot, almost every house has a snowman on it. Yes. Are we to think like... No, we're not to think... It felt to me like we were to think someone's listening everywhere. Yeah.

Really? You thought it was like an army of snowmen? An army of sentient snowmen? I thought for a second, maybe this rule is being defined that our loved ones who have passed on are really always around. You're trying to create a new holiday. Yes. As our snowmen.

That is terrifying. A new kind of Halloween where it's like, oh, the ghosts of your ancestors. If you say Bloody Mary in the mirror and make a snowman, grandma will become a snow... Just put an article of clothing on the head. They were creating a kind of voodoo. They just made up rules. But again, he seems like he has control to leave but no control to come in that world. Yeah! Yeah, yeah. Yeah!

It's a hermine. But yeah, I just don't, I don't get like, and again, I will just point out that he doesn't seem like he knows that he's dead because when he pops up on the lawn, he's like, oh, hey,

He never says, how long have I been away? What year is it? He never understands. He never asks the questions that a reanimated person would ask. Just a couple questions. What happened to me? Or, hey, do you know why I died? Because I was coming to see you on Christmas. Or, here's where I've been.

Yeah. Oh my God, what is death? Here's what happened to me. This guy's got a real interesting story to tell. What is it?

He's back now. Because I think he's, all of a sudden he's like, I'm in the car, it's getting tough to see, oh, I'm on my front lawn. I'm home. I'll be home. Well, that's terrifying. That's saying that, I mean, that's atheism right there. Or that is to say we are some, we are some like evil God's play thing. You know, it's to say like there is, there is just like, oh, and now go do this for a while. Well,

We'll figure out how that works. It's like that scene in Clash of the Titans where they're just playing with figures on a board. Life is just like Clash of the Titans, guys. Sorry, guys, to go that deep with you guys. How do you like that, assholes? Do you think we should go out and talk to people and see if they have any points? Sure. Here, turn on the house lights. We'll go out here. If you have any things that you want to talk about, kind of offer them up to us. Here we go.

What's your name? Who's your favorite character in this movie? Oh wow, you have a notepad. Stand up, here, stand up. Wow, that's like six pages of notes. Okay, that's still three pages of notes. Here we go. My name's Nick. My favorite character would probably have to be the kid that says his next line in the earmuffs. Yeah, we're going to play that line. I would like to do some readings from Roger Ebert's reading. Okay, go ahead. It's Posse. Yeah, turn around.

It's possible for the Jim Henson folks in Industrial Light and Magic to put their heads together and come up with the most repulsive single creature in the history of special effects. And I am not forgetting the Chucky doll or the desert intestine from Star Wars. It has a big wide mouth that moves as if masticating gummy bears. And it's this kid's dad. And the last one.

Here is a typical conversation. Udaman. No Udaman. No, I'd a snowman. Roger Ebert. When he starts to melt, it is really very grotesque to watch. Well, because they show a path of CG water, which is the equivalent of viscera. Because...

Because he's made of snow and he looks at the pavement and goes, I gotta go across that. So you make all the... He can go around. Yeah, there's gotta be a way. He can go... It's only a parking lot. And so they show him, yeah, like the Frosty the Snowman just...

That was a very sad, terrible, traumatizing thing for kids too. It was like an ET level thing. But he went from being a snowman to being a puddle. Like he was stationary. But the sliding with the leaving a trail of yourself. It was disgusting. Yeah. But wait, I just realized, is Frosty the snowman a kid's dad too? No. No.

No. Who is Frosty? Is he just like... It just came to life one day. Yeah, that's the whole thing. But he probably is a reanimated dead father of someone. Perhaps. But when he arrives, he doesn't try and settle any scores. He's just... He's another guy driving in a Cadillac. He's basically a pedophile.

His only agenda is to play with all the boys and girls. I mean, Frosty the Snowman was nothing if not a series of proprietary highway cones that this movie had to weave in and out of. Like, they wanted to just make a movie called Frosty the Snowman with Michael Keaton and they... Or with George Clooney. Or George Clooney, sorry, yeah. Or probably Bruce Willis to begin with. All right, so here we go. Our next question. What is your name? What would you call this movie?

And then what's your question? My name is Nosley. I think I would call this movie Jack Frost, question mark. And my question is, when Jack, Michael Keaton, decides to drive home to meet his family for Christmas, he basically decides that this band that he's been working his whole life towards isn't going to go to the life-changing gig forever.

That would support his family. But the entire band was okay with it. They were all psyched. They were all okay to not go get their life. They were like, my mom's making apple pie. They clearly, there's a reason why they were failures. They didn't play the big Easter gig. They didn't play the big Memorial Day gig. They didn't have any drives.

They didn't have any drive. I had a weird... I was watching it with my girlfriend, and I said at that point, I said, like, oh, the kid kind of...

Is the kid going to be really happy with this passive-aggressively leveraged Christmas that comes at the expense of his father's dreams? Right. And I heard myself say that next to a woman who I plan to have children with and then realized it because she was like, what? The kid's eight. He's allowed to be upset that I was like, yeah, you're right. I got to retire before we have kids because I was sort of like, I was on Michael Keaton. I was like, fuck you, kid. He had a big gig. I got to play on Christmas in the fucking band. Look at my hairline is not...

It's not whatever the opposite word for receding is. I'm not... It's not marching forward. I'm not... I'm not Batman anymore. Yeah. Is that...

I got one shot here. All we wanted was one hit. And there was a really funny thing at the beginning of the movie, too, where it was like the guy in the snowplow was listening to a bootleg copy of the Jack Fromm. Him playing the gig, yeah. And the DJ goes, don't ask us where we got that. Like, oh, that tradition. And it was recorded the night before. The night. It was from just last night. You're listening to Dweezil Zappa's phone recorder. Yeah.

All the greatest hits from the 70s and today on Dweezil Zappa's phone from last night. I love those bootleg tapes. Well, you know, they would always play those bootleg tapes on the radio. All right, here, what's your name? Who's your favorite character in this movie? And what's your question? My name is Mark, and I love Henry Rollins because it's Henry Rollins. And speaking of Batman...

On the son's bedside table, there's a figurine of Superman with chains on his chest with Batman's head. Is this whole movie just a huge foreshadowing of Batman versus Superman? Good question. No. No. I'm gonna go out on a limb here.

The only reason why that struck me when I saw it was that I was like, how did they get the rights to use those DC characters in this movie? Because, well, I don't know. By switching the heads. Yeah, right. You can do that. All right, your name, what you call this movie, and your question. Big piece of shit. Now, what would you call the movie? Zing! Zing! How did that feel? The snowplow guy is Ahmed Zappa. Right.

He's awesome. That was your question? No, no, no. My question is, why didn't Michael Keaton sign off the chubby keyboard player banging the white? I don't think he needs to. Yeah. He could have co-signed it. He could have said, hey, why don't you get with my keyboard player? He's dead. Keaton's dead. He can't control it. She's got needs.

I was, I mean, were you guys surprised? I feel like a movie like this, I was surprised that the snowman never played the harmonica. There's a girl following you. I thought, yeah.

Careful, Paul. Careful. You'll be stuck on that aisle. Yeah, they kept... That was scary for me. I was like, uh-oh, what's this girl up to? When they cut to the hockey rink, they show a close-up of the keyboard being played by the guy in the thing. I was like, okay, I started connecting dots. I was like, okay, the fat guy is gonna have to go in there and get his groove back.

and play the keyboard. He's going to have to find the music. So that Jack Frost can play hockey with his son or something. I also thought, did you think this, that at some point the snowman was going to front the band? Yeah, absolutely. That's what I'm talking about. Why didn't he do it?

do it. He should have. One night only. And that's what I thought. That's what I thought because the guy, the bad guy said. There was an outdoor rock concert and the guy said they must be freezing up there. Exactly. Something happened. Yes. I also didn't like the logic of this movie where his dad was dying and all he needed to do was bring him on the ice of the ice skating rink. But he's like, no, we can't. People will see you. But yet he brought that snowman around the entire town with reckless abandon.

No, we probably shouldn't go out there. I don't want to make a scene. You should probably stay here and die. By the way, how did you get here? By the way, where have you been? Is there an afterlife? I think something must have happened. I feel like there must have been some editing and writing on the spot because I think once they saw in the wide shots how creepy it looked for him to glide...

and to not have feet, but I think his moving around was a problem. I think it was problematic. Well, that's why they push him a lot in things. And that's why a lot of times he's in wheels. He's being carted around. It also is probably too expensive to animate him moving. There had to be some kind of like blues traveler set piece, like where it was like... Whatever this is, I don't know.

into it. Yeah, where he had to save the day in some kind of talent show or fundraiser or something where you know that thing was playing harmonica with his weird stick arms and they made an animatic or they looked at it and they were like, we can't. And then you have that great scene of someone in the crowd going like, he looks so lifelike or something and they're like, oh, how did they

do it or they're like yeah or they somebody said like oh it's animatronic or it's a puppet where you know like like like something on someone's front lawn but then the Jim Henson company was like we don't do that yeah read the fine print nobody makes jokes like that in the movies where we work on

and we got a fucking shitload of these George Clooney snowmen and he got fucked up. And if Jim Henson hadn't died, we wouldn't be in this bullshit situation. Why didn't he just go to the doctor? This is Kyle from Jim Henson Company. Too soon? He should have gone to the doctor. He should have gone to the doctor. All he needed to do was go to the doctor.

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Your favorite Jack Frost song and your question. My name is Helen. My favorite Jack Frost song is the one that clearly they played at the beginning. Frosty the Snowman? Whatever. Anyways. Okay, so my major question is since the puppet was designed to look like George Clooney, did they then pick an actor who had the exact same eyebrows as the puppet? Because the whole time I was like, that puppet has the same...

Well, I agree the eyebrow, I think they probably fixed the eyebrows, right? Sounds like somebody had a crush on the puppet. Yes. Was this movie originally intended to be a horror movie until the last moment and then they changed it because everything about it is horror.

By the way, we only let people with accents ask two questions. But no, it does. We said that. It has the horror. Everything about this movie is a horror thing, except he doesn't kill. The framework is, you're absolutely right. The scene where Henry Rollins pulls up in the street, it feels like a cap put on a flaming oil well that was once a scene where Henry Rollins gets murdered. Right?

Right. Because nothing happens in the scene. You yelled at my kids at the hockey game? No, I'll kill you. What should have happened was Rollins should have gotten out of the car to confront the snowman and the snowman has no option but to kill him. Right, he just keeps... That sets off a series of events. What are you, a fucking snowman? You a snowman? Hey, come on. Hey, come on, Sid, it's me. What are you, a fucking snowman? It's me, check for up. Hey, I said leave me alone! Okay.

Oh, God, my hands are sticks. I didn't know. My hands are sharp sticks. I didn't know. Just being like Terminator 2 style, just coming right out of the back of his head. The thing is, what we don't know is that Sid is a vampire, so he is dusted. I love it. Because it's wood. Oh. So he got staked, like on Buffy. Oh, so it's a town overrun by vampires. Oh, by the way, this movie just got more interesting. What's your name? What's your question? Here we go.

My name is Tim. There is, in fact, a horror movie called Jack Frost where a serial killer is put inside a snowman, the low light of the movie being where the snowman rapes a girl with his carrot nose.

I saw that. I feel like I saw that. I remember that was direct-to-video, right? Yeah, it was definitely on Netflix, and it had one of those, I worked at Blockbuster Video, and it had one of those covers that if you look at it one way, it was like a regular snowman. The other way, it was like... I have a question. I have a question. Did anybody watch that movie thinking that's what we were doing? One person did. You watched it?

How was it? It was horrible. It was, and it's worse that I watched it for no reason. How... Highlight... What's one of your notes from the Jack Frost... Ask us a question based on that movie. This is worth it. Here we go. Can you remember, what's the highlight, lowlight of Jack Frost? It was mostly the dialogue. The dialogue was great.

Actually, it's kind of the polar opposite of this. It was a horror film that served up lines thinking it was a comedy, but it clearly didn't know what it was. It raises an interesting question, why not a carrot nose in this one, and is the answer to that because there's some kind of flake? LAUGHTER

Like they had the rights to the carrot nose? I actually thought about it because the cork nose, I think it seems cuter too. I think they had to go a long way to make that face seem lovable. I also bet, I bet it's hard to animate something that's long like perspective wise versus something that's just short. By the way, he was an animatronic puppet so it was not CGI. Ever? Well, maybe like one or two seasons. There were a lot of, it seemed like it was puppetry, yeah, like it was like a dude in a blanket. Like,

If you are that dude that was in that blanket and you are listening to this, please call us. Come over here. All right, we have a question. Another question over here. We haven't yet talked about the scene. What's your name? Sandra. My name is Sandra, and we haven't yet talked about the scene where he perversely gropes his own snow boobs. I don't remember. Show me.

At first glance, I thought he was feeling them to try to understand what they were. Oh, it's no boobs. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wait, I don't even remember this scene. He gets hit with two. It's in the trailer. Oh. It's in the trailer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a scene that is now offensive in a post-transgender awareness community, because they hit him and he has boobs and he goes, no way.

Which is now technically offensive. He pushes them together and he's like, oh boy, uh-oh. See, that's not how I read it. At first I thought he really liked it. Yeah, I thought he was into it. And then was revolted by that and then threw them away. Because he does kind of, his first instinct is to push them together. Present them. Like a porn star. Like he's about to titty fuck somebody. And the only person around is his son. Yeah.

All I'm saying is if he had a carrot nose, the ending of the movie would have been way different. How about when they go to the Fortress of Hockey Solitude? Apparently there were snow boobs in the other Jack Frost movie as well. Really? Guys, this other Jack Frost movie sounds like we should do a follow-up episode. We'll have a question over here. All right, your question. Your name and your question.

I'm Sarah, and the part I found most upsetting was that the kids in the town were borderline sociopaths because this kid, his dad just died, and he's so depressed, and then he runs up to the van, and the kids are like, no, you let us down. You really let us down by quitting.

Yeah, you're right. This kid was going through an emotional breakdown. His dad had died. His dad had died a year ago almost to the day, it seems. And it's the holidays and the one year anniversary. But do you remember the moment when the bully said to the other, to the bully, I got this, I got, I had this scene, which is, I think, here, this is a, here we go.

No fun.

anymore. My kid became a real bummer since the tragedy struck. I mean, there's something uplifting about that. It's like after 9-11 when they would do those comic books where Magneto would be helping rebuild the rubble or handing a brick to Spider-Man. Hey, I'm not a villain under the right circumstances. These guys killed 3,000 people. I just... Have committed genocide in Genosha.

- Nerd. - You shut your mouth. You tell no one what you heard here. - It also seemed like Jack Frost had no problem-- - And then his daughter wiped out the mutants, everybody. No more mutants.

It seemed like the father had no problem letting his son see him die again, too. He's like, no, leave me here. And you're going to watch this. Yeah, I'm going to die in a horrible way. Again, it was like that screenwriter theory that I have because what do they do? They go up to the precious cabin.

Where the kid wanted to go. You want this? Yeah, oh, look, I'm back. I can't play guitar anymore. My arms are gone. Let's go to the cabin. I'm your dad. Okay, we're here.

I have a feeling, how about this? How about the writer is actually a stepdad. The writer is a stepdad and this kid's like, my real dad was really cool. He's like, really? Where was he? I feel like he's constantly battling this real dad. He's like, well, I'm here now. What's way more fucked up, right, is exactly what you're saying. They go to the cabin, okay, which is up at the top of a mountain. It's like a nine or ten year old boy and his sentient snowman father.

At which point, the snowman father is like, and I'm out of here. Leaving a small boy alone in the mountains. He called the mom first. Which great way to ease her pain. I don't want your mom to see me in the spice closet. I'll just have a creepy fucking death call to her. It's Michael Keaton. He's at the cabin. Jesus Christ, oh my

Jesus is real. Oh my God. There's blood coming out of the phone. She goes, Jack? Click. Why be so coy? Why be so coy? Quick Q&A. I'll, yeah. I always love you. You are amazing. I'm sorry about this. I can't explain. You would say, I can't explain. I love you.

I love you, your son's in the cabin. I think this is where the puppetry really hurt the movie because I think what we couldn't see in the snowman's face is that it was really too hard for him to do any of that. Emotionally, you mean? Emotionally, yes. He couldn't have a scene that went back and forth. So you're thinking this is like the scene in Breaking Bad where Walt is crying, but he's like, you fucked me over, you know, like Skyler. He was never going to read.

Oh my God, how fucked up would that be though if he had like a Brundle fly kind of like Geena Davis exchange where he's like, she's like, tell me more what happens when you die? And he goes, I can't cry. My tears just freeze. I don't have tear ducts, just lumps of coal. Get up here. I want to see that. How about this? How about this? And this is real.

The character of the snowman needs to eat. He's hungry. He was hungry. He's hungry, so he eats. Does he shit? I don't know. What's the point of him eating? He eats also, and he can only eat frozen food. They had to get him into that kitchen so they could do that classic spice closet scene. I couldn't.

I couldn't crack that at all. That made no sense. So you would even argue that when he was skidding along the sidewalk that you would see like frozen like carrots. Here's the thing. He is...

Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Okay? Then there's the scene that's in the trailer where they're like dry on the toboggan and he splits into three balls. Repeatedly in the movie, he splits, he falls apart. Yeah, that's unsettling. He must have a digestive tract, right? They should show like a couple. He's eating. He's eating. He must have insides. Nope. Nope. Nothing. He's got nothing. So where are the peas? Where are the peas? Do you actually ever see him eat or do you just see that stuff on the table? It's an empty bag of snow peas.

Here's some more questions. His arm gets ripped off by the dog and then he goes and grabs the arm and puts it back on. Can he, does it have to be that arm? Can he put another stick? Could he put a third stick in the center of his chest and would it become an arm? Or four sticks on either side and become a snow spider. A snow spider. Yeah.

- I wanna see Snow Spider. - By the way, awesome movie. Awesome movie. My dad is a snow spider? Fuck yeah. - Climbing built, just bombing crime. - Now I'm on board for this movie. - Oh my gosh. - Nobody knows about this place. This is where I come to think. I've been coming here a lot this year.

Little racist towards Eskimos, this movie, too, when the kid says he's doing a project about living in an igloo. And he says, yeah, Eskimos have wet floors. And the mom goes, oh, yeah, okay. Like, that was their... She just... I mean, she should have said, that's not very... That's not true. That's not a true statement. One of my favorite things, too, at the very beginning, when they crest the hill into one of those huge snowball fights, the kid says...

Remember what they taught us in history class? If you want to stop an army, stop the general. This school is terrible. Fire your history teacher. That's not true. And it's pointless.

You're teaching people a lie. But by the way, they're not teaching that level of battle technique at all. Oh, you don't think they're teaching battle strategy? Yeah. To these fourth graders? When I was in fifth grade, I learned battle strategy. Oh, my God. And there was another... Oh, man, I was going to... I don't even know what I was going to say.

Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people who have another opinion. Now it is time for a second opinion. Second opinion! Second opinion! This segment's called Second Opinion.

I'm a big fan of your podcast. I listen to it all the time. I know the theme song to Second Opinion. You got it, 100%. That will be now remixed with synth, and that will be forever now. All right, these are five-star reviews. Colt from Amazon. These are pretty great. I actually took one out, June, because I thought it would upset you too much. Thank you. I took it out. I took it out. I found it in my printout. This is from Shane. He goes...

My dad was the exact same way. Music was his number one priority. I was third. Women were his second. He didn't die, but he might as well have. The last time I saw him, I was eight years old, and it was Christmas Eve. I watch this movie every year around Christmas, as I can remember.

Not because it's a good flick, but because I can relate. I mean, even the little things, like the fact that his dad is a chubby music buddy and that his mom's a blonde, just more similarities. A must-see for the entire family or anyone who's experienced a similar life. A must-see for me. Oh, my God. That is fucking insane. Oh, my God.

- That one was pretty great too. - If you want to be reminded of your own horrors from childhood. - He openly admits the movie's not good, but he goes to it as some kind of anti-Mecca.

It's a catharsis. Someone also is going through what I am going through. It's like Scientologists, I think they believe that if you slam your finger in a car door, you put your finger back in the car door and touch it. That's what he's doing. Is that a real thing? Scientologists also believe that if you put a hat on a snowman and your dad gives you a harmonica, it's a very, very powerful religion for actors.

This is from Eaglesore777. Although sad, but with a great plot. And again, it goes against my beliefs. Again? Yeah, again. Again. From his other reviews on Amazon. You probably clicked on me. I'm Movie Mikey. But that being said, it's awesome. Wait, it goes against his beliefs, and I don't know. It goes against everyone's beliefs. Yeah, well, because I don't

I guess my thought is, is he saying, like, reincarnation? I think so. I mean, yeah, and then so... Well, this movie is very anti-Christian. Well, I mean... I'm just kidding. He goes, it has a great plot and makes one think about what we need to work on and do better in our lives now. Unlike this movie, we don't get second chances. Oh, shit. He knocks once, bitch.

Well, I will say this. Jack Frost is a Christ-like character. He does rise from the grave. He is constantly fucked with by God through no choice of his own. He's born into mystical circumstances. He's got human form and a different form, which is snowman form. He has a band of apostles who support him in what he's doing. He's celibate, but maybe not. Like, evidence shows he had a wife, maybe. Uh-huh.

The cabin is kind of like the tomb and he disappeared from the tomb. All right, there we go. - Shut your mouth. - This one's titled, "Great for Wives to Watch with Husbands." Wow, this movie was an eye-opener for my husband. It really made him think about how important it is for him to spend time with his kids and take care of household responsibilities. Five stars. - Oh, wow. - From Susan K.

There's a whole society of people out there watching movies wrong. That review is, like, says so much about her desperate life. Oh, my God. You and the kid who's... You're flagellating yourself because your dad died, too. Like, you have a right to be entertained by a feature film. Well, watch out, because this one's going to bring down the whole world.

titled Orphan in Denver. I love this movie. My dad just died two months ago, and this is the first time I've seen it. Tomorrow I'm gonna go out and build a snowman, play my harmonica, and pray that my dad comes back as a snowman. I miss him. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars.

By Paula's fan. Paula's fan. Holy cow. That is bleak. Written in December 22nd, 2004. Just a couple days before Christmas. I wonder if it worked? Update. This shit worked. Everyone, get her.

"Monica, get outside!" - Like, how many times has it happened that somebody was driving by someone hugging a snowman and was like, "Yeah, somebody just saw Jack Frost." - Oh, that's one thing I want to talk about too. When Kelly, when she comes home, the wife comes home, she's like, "Ooh, look at this snowman." And then she kind of gets like sexy with it. Like, why? - She looks like George Clooney. - Yeah, like, ooh.

I could smell the scotch on it.

I loved you in ER. Whispering in that snowman's ear. Speaking of which, I mean, yeah, like, during his 40 minutes of life in this movie, when he kisses his wife, like, I don't like it. I agree with that. He's kind of tonguing and stuff. Like, it got too into it. It felt like a married guy was like, I get to kiss on film, so I'm going to really go for it. I'm sure Travolta was like, don't you fucking lay your head on me.

"You stay away from my woman." That's my Travolta. "You stay away from her. "You listen to me." - Is there anything that we haven't covered? Anything that we wanna talk about? - Who cares? - We got everything out, I feel it. Anything we missed? - The hockey, I mean, there's the big hockey game. You know, he wins the big game because the snowman teaches him how to shoot. Who cares? - Not important.

That fucking kid, the 2004 kid. Yeah, that's a tough one. Here's, okay. I fucking, I am different now. I know. The last 40 years of my life were previous to that. I want to say when I read that, I knew it was going to be a tough one. I will say this, and this is legitimately a compliment. That kid was acting against nothing. Nothing.

And did a perfectly fine job. He was acting against a five foot tall animatronic puppet. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I mean. He did a great job. He does a good job in what is, I'm sure, impossible circumstances. You're right. You know what? It's like good cosmetic surgery where we're not pointing out when it works. He's not gigantic. He's not crazy. He's not terrible. No, he's actually a good kid actor. Yeah.

Because we didn't notice. Yes. And his scene partner, his scene partner is a snowman. Yeah, I'm going to see what he's been up to. Running with scissors. Oh, wow. That was the main kid. What else? Shrug. He's in Lincoln? He's in Lincoln? Wow, this kid really pulled it together. This kid's fucking great. That's great.

Kid's got us all beat. His name is Joseph Cross. He has been in Milk, Lincoln, Untraceable, Jack Frost. He's been in a lot of good stuff. Does this movie have a sequel? No. What would the sequel be? I don't know. What would the sequel to any of these garbage movies be? But they still make them. What? Oh, did it make money? No, of course not.

There is a sequence, I don't know if you guys stopped it during the credits, but after the whole credits rolls, they show him appearing at the North Pole and Sam Jackson comes out and... Oh, you think you'll finish? You gotta get to work.

That would be amazing. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is actually good, the money situation. Budget. Want to guess what the budget it was of this movie? $32 million. What was it made? It was made in 98. These are Clinton dollars. $50. Yeah, I want to say like $40.

85 million dollars. - What? What? - 85 million. - What? - Was it titanium harmonica? - It was all that Georgia Clooney suits made. The box office opening weekend was seven.

And the worldwide lifetime gross is 34. Whoa. So it is still in the... What studio is it? I don't know. It probably does not exist anymore. What? Warners? Oh, Warner Brothers. Oh, it does exist. All right. Let's all... I mean, there's not that many of us, but let's keep in mind people are going to listen. Let's all write to Warner Brothers and demand a sequel.

I think that Jack Frost coming back as Jack is now older, starting his own family. As Charlie boy is older. Charlie's older, he's now playing in a band himself. But he's gotten into drugs, he's on the wrong path. His dad needs to come back and get him on the right path. Because his wife is pregnant and she's gonna give birth on Christmas Day. To a devil, to the devil baby. I love it, I love it. Because he keeps, his solution to all his problems, his wife keeps going, you need to spend time with this house. He goes, no I don't.

If I die, I'll come back as a snowman. And I'll stick around. He won't make the same mistake that his dad made. Oh, how about this? The kid gives the mom the harmonica. Kid dies. Comes back as a snowman for the mom to teach her not to have a devil baby. She's involved in a very sexual relationship with a jackal. I do want to talk...

Or it's just like Fly 2. It's just like, it fades in on the basement of the Pentagon and it's just like the kid is like a prisoner and there's like some, they're trying to figure out the technology behind the harmonica. If we could have snowmen warriors, we would win every battle. Oh, I love this.

Well, forget about snowman warriors. I mean, that's great, but also if we could conquer death. Oh, right, yeah, you're right. If people could die and come back and live forever. There's a whole theory that the Jack Frost-style snowmen are what is beyond the wall in Game of Thrones. I do want to talk about the...

The harmonica again because when he gives it to him he goes oh dad where'd you get this harmonica and he looks at a poster of Wayne Gretzky and he goes like oh. He tells a lie. He tells a lie. He tells a shitty John Cryer hiding out Maxwell Hauser lie. Oh my god. One of my favorite movies of all time and yes. And then he goes no he didn't. He's like yeah yeah I didn't. And then he tells the real story which is nice. I bought the harmonica the day you were born. Although at this point. Don't bury the

At this point, I don't know if that's true either. Because now you're a liar. I don't know what to believe. But you see, to me, if I'm writing this movie, don't make him lie. Go, yeah, I got this from a cool blues man who told me

Magical blues man. Yeah. That would be the thing, a magical harmonica. Or I thought what they were setting up was that this was actually all going to be in his head at the end of it. Like St. Elsewhere style? Or that he steers out of the way of a truck on the road. Or that. Or the kid's head. In the kid's head. Because that harmonica, the way they set it up, it really didn't have any significance. Right. It wasn't magical. He lies about where he got it from. Agreed.

So I thought at the end the kid was just going to realize that the snowman was never real and then have sort of that conflict. And then we would close on just like one sign that was ambiguous. The movie ends with the kid finishing playing a note and then he just throws the harmonica onto a casket that's being lowered. Or a casket. I love that. And the mom goes like, sweetie, you seem like you're daydreaming about something. He's like, yeah, I don't know. Or the kid, it's like...

It's close in. It's that same shot of the kid close in in bed. He finishes playing the harmonica. You pull out and he's in an insane asylum. The kid is in an insane asylum and the nurse takes it away from him and is like, where did you get that? He's rolling around in the... He's in like a sucker punch type scenario. In feathers and...

He's just rolling around in the down padding from a rubber room. He's creating snow drifts. The whole movie exists in his head. I mean, but I thought there was at least a 90% chance that the movie was going to end with the dad being alive and like, hey, wake up. I just got home from tour. Because the kid was like, I remember he was like, wake him up, wake up.

up the kid when he got home from tour. And then I thought, oh, that's where he'll come back. Hey, you dreamt about me dying and then coming back as a snowman. That was your dream because you didn't go to bed. I actually thought there was a 20% chance that Michael Keaton would live his life as a snowman and then he would be like, I gotta, and then the kid would cry and his tear would turn into an icicle or something and it would, or like an ice key that would unlock a hole in his heart and it would like, that it would turn the snowman back into Michael Keaton for real. I had that thought too.

And then he'd be like, well, fuck it. Joke of luck for us. If Michael Keaton at the end can turn into Michael Keaton, why didn't he do that from the beginning? I think he can only do that as a ghosty thing. It's a good, it's a Swayze, Swayze. Although I did think too, I did also think that there was an element to the movie where, again, all these alt endings, that he was just like caught in a snowdrift for a year. Like he would come out like, ah, ah, I did it. And he'd look like a snowman.

It was him the whole time and he just shakes off and goes, wait a minute, wait, oh shit, god damn it. It's like Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters. It's like, I was just in a bunch of snow. I wasn't magic. But your hands were articulate. But he had no legs, but the car did make a cut off both of his legs. How about this? He like wakes up. He was in the accident. He's been in a bunch of snow. That's why he had the dream about being in a snowman. And then he dies.

He's freezing to death. His injuries are so severe. It's Jacob's Ladder. Yeah, yeah. The movie begins with a voiceover that says, they say your final thought lasts forever. Exactly. And then the doctors are like, clear, clear. He's hypothermia. He's dead. What was his name? Frost. Jack Frost. And then you know that the kid never gets any closure.

Also... He's identifying the body and they go, is this your dad? And he goes, no. And they change it from Jack Frost to John Doe and the kid's like, closure. Payback's a bitch. I win. Alright, that brings us to the end of the episode. Thank you guys so much. And that was our live show from Largo. What a show. Big hand to Dan Harmon. How

How can you catch up with Dan Harmon? You can follow him on Twitter. You can follow him on Instagram. You can listen to his podcast, Harmontown. You can watch his brand new show, Rick and Morty on Adult Swim. Or you can watch his triumphant return of Community every week on NBC. There's so many Dan Harmon options. And now this show is one of them. You can follow me on Twitter or on Instagram, at Paul Scheer. Pretty easy. Pretty straightforward. June is at MissJuneDiane. She's on Anchorman 2 right now.

Go see it if you haven't seen it. Jason, still not on Twitter. But you know what? We do have, all of us, we have How Did This Get Made mugs. So get a mug, a pint glass, if you will, and drink out of us all the time. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you next time on How Did This Get Made. Adios. How Did This Get Made? Earlo.

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