Hmm. Should I buy a new yoga mat? New mat? New me? When's the last time I went to yoga class? Hey, Erica, did my membership increase? When your questions about life turn into questions about money, there's Erica, the virtual financial assistant to help you spend, save, and plan smarter. Only from Bank of America. What would you like the power to do? Erica is only available in the English language. You must download the latest version of the mobile banking app only available on select mobile devices. Your chat may be recorded and monitored for quality assurance. Message and data rates and additional terms may apply. Bank of America and a member FDIC.
Hey, everybody. Just wanted to give you a quick heads up here. There's something we should all be doing. It's going to improve your life, make every day a little bit better, and that is eat more Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Yes, think about it. All the gurus, all the coaches out there, they've never said the words,
eat more Reese's. I mean, that combination of sweet chocolate and salty peanut butter. I mean, this is something that brings other people and ourselves joy. That's why there's two in a pack. Shop Reese's peanut butter cups now at a store near you, found wherever candy is sold and often in my pantry because I love these.
Hey, everybody. Sweater weather is over and sweaty weather has begun. And that's why you need a pair of Bombas socks because they are a premium extra long staple cotton sock that feels light on your feet all summer long. I love my Bombas. Why? Because they support my arch. So get ready to get comfy and give back. Head over to Bombas.com slash bonkers. Use the code bonkers for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-O-N-K-E-R-S.
bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. A boy growing pubic hair down to his feet is only the fifth weirdest thing to happen in this movie. We saw the peanut butter solution, so you know what that means. Now it's time for
Hello, people of Earth. It is I, Tall John Shear, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? Today, we're talking about the 1985 Canadian film, The Peanut Butter Solution, and
And, boy, oh, boy, how do I explain this movie? If you've not seen it, a boy loses all of his hair because he goes into a haunted house, and then ghosts gift him a recipe to grow it back, but it grows back...
too furiously. Like, it won't stop growing. And that gets the attention of a local kidnapper who has an evil capitalist plan. I mean, I guess that's just scratching the surface of what is going on in this movie. We'll break this all down, but I felt like I needed to lay out some plot for you just to get in on this movie because it is brutal.
But to do that, we have two amazing co-hosts. Please welcome Mr. Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? Paul, I wonder if you noticed that you just said that his hair grows back too fast, too furiously, which is, I mean, I wonder, are you trying to intimate that this might be part of the fast and furious? Is this a, like a nascent, is this the beginning of that story? I wonder, I mean. I mean, honestly, I don't know.
I was just in awe of this film as much as I am of any of the Fast and Furious films. I mean, this blew me away the same way. This was... I was gobsmacked watching this. Have never seen it. Have never really even heard of it. So just... This is one of those great movies that we do where I put it on. I have no idea what's going to happen. I start watching it and I was...
confounded by this movie. And also, weirdly, very, again, you know, we're all in our homes still, blah, blah, blah. Like, very, like, heartbroken for this young boy. You know, there's a lot of, like, a lot of emotion. This brought up a lot of emotion for this poor kid. So, yeah, I'm excited to talk about it. Yeah, I have a lot to say about it. I will say, and I know it's an overused term, but, like, I felt...
while I was watching it because it was there. It just felt so bizarre. It felt like I was totally not high while watching it, but yet everything didn't quite make sense, although it linked up. Yeah. Every turn the movie took shocked me. I was like, wait, why would this? Wait, this is what this movie's doing now? Yeah.
Every turn, every act, at the end of every act, when the new act started, the movie became a different... Oh, let's get June. I'm into it. I'm surprised that you saw acts in this movie. Anyway, one of the great sadnesses of my life was that I did not get to watch this movie with our other co-host, as I normally do. Please welcome June Diane Raphael. How are you, June? I'm okay, Paul. How are you? I am good. I...
Talk to me. I haven't even really gotten to connect with you since you've seen this movie. What's on your mind? This I also I think I heard you say in that beginning intro that that you both walked into this not knowing much. I didn't know a thing. Yeah.
Zero. So much so that when the opening credits started, I thought this isn't right. This is a French movie. I'm on the wrong. I've got it all wrong. And I thought that for probably the duration of the film.
Well, now we've just learned from Paul that it is, in fact, Canadian, maybe even French Canadian, which makes sense as to why everybody has accents. Everybody has accents. But the opening was also in French. I thought I was watching a French movie. Yes. When they when they show the newspapers, it has French titles of the articles. I mean, yeah, that is. Yeah, it's Montreal, I believe. But then they go to length. No, I thought they said they were in Toronto. Yeah.
I don't know. When we looked around, it was like when we were in Montreal shooting Longshot, like every one of those. They definitely weren't in Toronto and everybody had a French Canadian accent. But I thought that they kept on. I thought that the movie was taking place in Toronto. I just what we didn't I didn't even think it was Canadian because my understanding is that Canada is all little Italy's.
I kept expecting Little Italy to show. To me, this movie was so Canadian. Oh, I mean, this movie couldn't be more Canadian. It could not. The only way it could have been more Canadian is if they had hockey instead of soccer. Like, that's the only way. First of all, but why? Okay, I want to talk about this for one second. We have to start from the beginning, but
You bring up hockey. You bring up soccer. We did see them. We did see Michael at soccer lessons. We hear a lot about soccer. Soccer lessons? I don't think we call them soccer lessons. That was a soccer game. No, it's a game, June. That was a game. Fine. But then it's not what I call a soccer game. I'll tell you that.
Two teams wearing different jerseys. You know what these kids need to do? Get more lessons. That was a good lesson. That's what happens at the end of the game. Good lesson, good lesson, good lesson. Oh, Jason, don't antagonize June because June traveled, as she will tell me many times,
around the state as a soccer champion. Oh yeah. I've heard, I've heard tales. I was on a great team. I was not a great soccer player. My talents were in other sports in different athletics, but I was on a great soccer team. So, but what I was going to say is what's crazy is all this talk of soccer. And then the father is painting a picture of the family playing tennis.
It's the badminton court in their backyard. The painting is up in the backyard. The sister is playing badminton. Do you remember that?
Oh, I don't remember that. Yeah, there's like a scene where... In this movie? In this movie, yes, there's a scene in which the daughter sues... It doesn't matter, but that's the connection I made. I was like, oh, that's their backyard, like little badminton court is what I believe. Yeah, he really seems to paint exactly what is going on in their lives. Well, with the exception of all the dressed up birds. Oh, boy. I mean, I want to... I really...
And unfortunately, this is not a live show where we can break down every piece of art because the art in this movie. I mean, he is a bad artist, right? I mean, he's a bad artist. It's subjective, but yes, absolutely. Would I hang the badminton painting in my house? Absolutely. I mean, without a doubt. How?
Having seen your collection, Jason, I do feel like that has a nice home and is in great company in your home. I would argue that the art of the little boy looking at the toaster at his bald head. Ugh.
would fit more in the Jason collection. But here's the thing about that piece. He never saw that happen. He was upstairs when the boy had the toaster. So he either heard tale of that or he just imagined it. This is like, there was parts of this movie, Paul, where I wonder, like there were parts of it where I felt like this was almost your childhood in a way that...
In a way that, like, the little boy, is his name Michael the little boy? Michael. Just seems to be on his own in the world. You know what I mean? Like, he seems to be, like, this is an 80s movie where, like, that captures this idea of, like, kids are just, like,
Free. Like you, like, like the dad is a generation of like the latchkey kid. Exactly. The dad is like in his attic painting away, not really dialed in. The mom is in Australia because her father passed away is like just a throwaway line selling his house. The mom has been away for an indeterminate, seemingly.
I would say if he told me she's been gone for two years, I would buy it. She's been selling his house. The minute the son returns unconscious, you know, in a shopping cart, I would assume the mom would come back. Like something's up with my son. He loses. The son is having a medical situation and the mom is like, I guess I'm staying in Australia. And the dad is like, ah, you're fine. Nobody cares. Nobody has updated her, Jason. I believe she would have come home stacked. Oh, perhaps. Yeah. It didn't seem like anyone was updating her.
To me, this is a cautionary tale, like for all moms out there, never leave. I thought she was dead for most of it. I thought that the father was hiding something. Absolutely. That I thought it was going to be a metaphor that he was hiding that she had died and that she was in Australia. Like that was how he was getting them through it. Because here's my theory. Sex,
The young girl, the daughter. Love Suze. Suze really has taken over the mother position. And I don't think Suze wanted the mom to come back at all. Suze is like doing bills. Yeah. She's wearing her mom's robe. She's doing like mothering. She's taking care of Michael.
She's also like her relationship with her father has become very bizarre. I think like she's doting on, she's doting on him in a way that's, that's, that's weird. Like everybody, all the relationships in this movie are very familial, are very bizarre. I think, you know, the, the dynamic between the siblings is weird. The dynamic between the siblings and the father, the father himself is just a bizarre character. He needs to be institutionalized.
I mean, you do see this happen, though, where a lot of times when there's a dad and a mother either passes away or there's a divorce, the dad will make the oldest daughter like a little mini mom, a mini wife. And it's very, very disturbing. I've heard stories. I will say, though, that I was obsessed with Suze. And there is, despite all, this movie is insane. There's a quality to it, though. Yeah.
Where every once in a while, I was like, I'm fascinated by these scenes. I believe this weird world. There was a tone to it. And some of the acting, like between Suze and her brother and...
Connie, I was just taken with. So you were you're OK with close sibling relationships when they're younger. It's once they're adults that you just you think you don't like 20. Oh, you see. Wow. Cut off. So what my brother sister. So once once they can drink, they can no longer be friends.
They could be friends, but not too close. Not too close. Yes, yes. I feel like I know what you're saying, June, in the sense that for me, I'll say the movie is straight up bananas, right? Like all of the beats, all of the plot, the plot of this movie is completely disturbing and insane. Yes. But the way it was like, with like...
Like the movie I was going to reference was what was the was it not cat people? What was the sleepwalkers? Was that the movie? OK, that's the movie I was going to reference because it was similarly like weirdly maybe also French, but also maybe Canadian or something like there was a weird family dynamic in that, too. And this there was like a real sense.
sadness that suffused this movie that I felt like a normal 80s kid movie wouldn't have this much sadness and trouble for the lead boy, you know, for that lead character. Nothing was aspirational in this movie. Like, I didn't want to hang out with them. I didn't want to be with them. I didn't want to be in their house. I didn't think anything was cool. And a lot of the times in these 80s movies, it's 1985. But that's Canada, too. The kid gives up.
The kid, Michael, in the third act, Michael gives up. He's like in an iron lung where his hair is just growing and the art teacher is turning his hair into hairbrushes. He's kidnapped 20 kids. He's put them in pink geese. And when Connie comes to save Michael, Michael's like, ah, who cares? I'm happy enough here. Like the lead character gives up.
It's crazy. That's what's so crazy. Like the narrative shifts to Connie and his sister, May Lynn. It's so strange. By the way, Connie. They for a while become the heroes. Yeah. I love Connie. I love Connie. Conrad, he's his little friend who's wearing a pretty sweet leather jacket and a black fedora. And I just want to give you like a taste of the tone of this movie. Bye.
By the way, it really is hard to describe. Our lead character and Connie go to this scary house. Michael goes inside the house, gets a fright.
Just gets the big fright. We don't know what the big fright is. Which they keep saying throughout the movie. Different characters say the fright, a fright. As if that's like a term that we all recognize as like a thing we know. He doesn't even know what scared him. He just walks in and it's like that opening scene in Ghostbusters where the librarian sees the ghost. He's like, ah! And, you know, his hair kind of just gets on edge and
And then he wakes up the next morning completely bald. And this is the moment of realization that our main character, a young boy, is completely bald. It's him and his friend Connie sitting down at a table. I believe Connie's always wearing the fedora. Just take a listen. This is the realization moment here. Connie, do I have any hair at all? Not much. To tell you the truth, none actually.
Yeah. I'm taking it. I'm old.
I really am bald. Like, it's so lethargic. What's weird about it is, like, Michael, who's the little boy who has the fright, wakes up and his hair is now gone. Like, he is totally bald, right? Yes. But he arrives at the breakfast table not aware of the fact that he is now completely bald. He doesn't have his eyes open, Jason. That's what I was just going to say. He still has his eyes closed.
And what we're to believe he hasn't even touched his head. And even though his father and his sister are like casually, Oh my God, you're bald. And then they walk out of the room, like nothing's going on. And it's him. And it's Michael and Connie that have the, that's when Michael finally looks in the toaster and sees his reflection. Like the father and the sister are like, so blase about all of these insane things, including when Michael goes missing, uh,
The 20 kids go missing in this town and everybody's still going to school, still hanging out. 20 kids in one very small town. But now that I understand it's Canadian, it makes sense because Canadians don't care about their children. No. You know, they just they're if they can't, you know, that's that. Yeah, that's right. Canada.
But by the way, here's what I'll say about Canada, because I know we have a bunch of amazing listeners there. I actually think that their parents are very chill. It's like, if our kid goes missing, they'll come back eventually. Like, we'll figure it out. Like, we'll get them back. We don't lock our doors. They'll be able to get in. We know that even Canadian kidnappers are not that bad. They will return our kid eventually. Whenever they're done using them for their capitalist plot to make paintbrushes, they'll come back. I mean, it's fine. It's one less thing I got to worry about.
I mean, the art teacher, I could talk about the art teacher from his class to his child slave labor sweatshop to the inappropriate shoulder touching to the ripping up. I mean, the accent to the jacket made of hair for the end of the movie. The hair jacket. He's wearing like a duster made of hair. It's like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat of
hair. It's just... Sergio in the amazing Technicolor hair coat.
And he's wearing that coat and running through a hallway full of hair. He's also like delivering paintbrushes wearing a coat made of hair. I'm really interested in that piece of it. And I guess basically the plot, because it turns out when Michael first wakes up that morning after the big fright and goes bald, he does his dad and Suze. And by the way, I was obsessed with Suze's
and her little sweaters with like Oxford shirt. And I just thought she was so great. Did Suze go to school, by the way? I don't know. I mean, she's a homemaker now. Yeah, I think she was talking about getting a part-time job at the bank. I think she's a, I know she's going for her real estate license. 12 year old bank teller.
But when they go to that doctor who Epstein Poundstein Poundstein Epstein was his name. Also that also has an accent. Well, well, it doesn't end up that he's that doctor who who's also not that concerned that Michael woke up without any hair. Yeah. OK, so turns out, though, that he is the art teacher's brother.
And also the art dealer's brother. And also the art dealer's brother. So these brothers basically make up 40% of the population of this town. Yes, this is Little Italy. This movie has like five, basically five characters in it. It's Suze, it's the dad, it's the son who's bald.
Connie, and then the three brothers. I mean, that's it. That's seven characters. And the principal, who's pretty great. Who's got a British accent. The principal's got a British accent. And then the math teacher. Oh, and Connie's younger sister as well. Comes in later in the movie. But here's my question. So turns out, we find out that the art dealer had been...
knew where his twin brother, the Italian art teacher was, and the doctor led them to that art dealer, blah, blah, blah.
Is there any world in which this was a big master, like in which the art teacher, Senor, was plotting this. Wow, you're really putting a real spin on that, Senor. Really leaning in on it. But plotting this from the beginning so that no one would question what was happening to this kid's hair. Oh, so the doctor's playing it very, well, here's the thing. The doctor's like playing it very much like that's not a big deal, but
There is no hair factory without Michael. But this seemed to be like he was kidnapping these kids before. I mean, or at least he could have really quickly. Yeah, well, he really only like, yeah, it's only when because I don't think to your point, June, I don't think senior could have planned this because the recipe comes from ghosts.
Yes. The recipe... He's not involved in that. And I just want to reiterate because we have not said this yet in the podcast. We haven't talked about what the peanut butter solution even is. The recipe...
The recipe for how to grow hair comes to Michael via ghosts. That's part of the movie. Were those ghosts also, and I'm going to use the term that they use in the movie. I'm not saying this is an acceptable term. The winos? Because when Michael gives a wino a dollar, that seemed like that was the one of the ghosts. I was.
I was a little confused and I almost rewound to try to figure it out. And then honestly, I just felt it was better than I didn't. Yes, very quickly what I can say is my understanding from a very thorough watching of this movie was that the house that burned down was being used as like a squat for
for homeless people, what they're calling winos, who are also, we see Michael give one of the winos money, uh, outside the bank. Very, he also has a pretty fat role. Like he has a lot of money for a kid his age. I was surprised to see him peeling off like some paper money for a wino. The kid's, the kid's rich, you know, he's, he's out there. It's, but it's, but keep in mind, it's Canadian money, so it's not real. Uh,
Anyway, so I think this act of kindness that Michael gives this wino money and then they die, they then start to... And so the fright... Do we ever understand what the fright was? Was it just that he'd seen dead bodies? What was the...
the fright was that he saw those winos as ghosts they don't really because the second time he goes into the house he's there but so that kind of defeats the purpose of he was nice to the winos but then they gave him a fright unless you're right maybe he just saw a dead body like that we don't know yeah that's true we never get that answer but regardless to repay that kindness where the kid has paid them they the ghosts visit him in his dreams and give him a recipe to grow hair and
which is what is the peanut butter solution. It's all these different ingredients. But again, this doesn't happen until like an hour into the movie. What you're saying right now, by the way, Jason. Yeah. Is insane. Yeah. But it doesn't happen for like, it's we're an hour. Like I thought this movie was going to be about the struggles of a kid who loses his hair and
He tries wearing a wig and it was going to be about him like coming to terms with being what his life, you know, being bald and what that means and and what hair means for kids and that that I all this and like that he's good or that, you know, that it's going to be like a story about being an outsider or feeling like an outsider, like an inverse Teen Wolf. What was that movie where it was about someone who had like was an albino and he like wore fedora powder?
Powder, yes. So yeah, I thought it would be a little bit more powder-esque. But that's not the case. It's this other movie with ghosts and concoctions. And then he puts too much peanut butter in and he grows hair at a rate that is visible. Like he's visibly growing hair throughout the second act. But he's growing hair from the minute they recognize that hair is growing. By the way, we skipped one piece of...
Crucial information. He is visited by these ghosts who are raiding his kitchen to take stuff back to wherever they live in ghost world. But then when he fucks up the solution because the parents or the dad thinks he's going to make it to eat it,
They come back the next night to be like, all right, you didn't write down the recipe. We're going to help you because you're a nice boy. Like, the ghosts come twice. They come a second time because he forgets the recipe. Like, it's such a funny, weird list. I like the first scene where they're making so much noise and he comes in and he's like, stop making so much noise. You're going to wake my dad. And they're like, no, close your eyes. And then they make all the noise, but you can't hear it. I was like, ooh, this is kid logic that I like. I like that this movie has...
a logic to these ghosts because yes, they're disruptive, but, but what's the point if you're a ghost of loading up boxes of food? My assumption is the dad's not going to come down and open the cabinets. And they, I don't think that food is leaving. I'm also going to say one thing and it's a home design issue and I just need to get it off my chest. The cabinets were way too tall because when the father puts the girl on his shoulders, she's
almost able to reach the top shelf of the cabinet, which means that anyone in that house would have to use a stepladder anytime to get anything out of that pantry. Those are Canadian cabinets. That's what my interior designer calls them, Canadian cabinets. He said, if you want really high, tall cabinets, we can install it. It's like a California king-size bed. Manu Boll was a cabinet maker and only made cabinets.
For himself. Well, remember we were convinced, Paul, in the other house to build that vanity in the bathroom with like very high. This guy told us like, oh, you're both tall people. You need your sink needs to be taller. It was the best advice. Do you think so? Yes, because it was at our waist. We could actually like, you didn't have to bend down that much. I think people who were shorter were kind of unnerved by it. But I think in selling the house, that was...
because it was so... We had nine foot counters. We had nine...
Wait a second. You think it affected the resale value of the house because the sink was so tall? Definitely. If you're a short person, there's no way. Like, you literally can't wash your face. You know, the way that they're scanning people's temperatures before they go into stores, we had a sign out at our front lawn that said, if you're not six feet, you can't come in to look at the house. We were very heightest. Must be this tall to use sink. Yeah.
I mean, you can invite over the shorties all you want for the guest bathroom. It's fine. But you have to make them sign a waiver. Yeah, but they have to sign a waiver because, listen, this is dangerous for someone your height to be. I don't want you to drown. I did like that they were a higher sink. I appreciate it. I did, too. But I've thought a few times about one of the people who bought the house and how she's faring in there. I mean, she's a lot shorter than us.
Oh, yeah. Suze. Meanwhile, poor Suze is up making every meal making, you know, like like when is she living her life? When is it time for Suzy to live her life? I don't know. I don't know. I wanted to see Suze and Connie get something together. I felt like they had something. Paul, what?
Well, no, you know, I'm not saying I want to see them. I didn't want to say like I wanted to see them have sex. And this is weird because when you shared your screen earlier, when you shared your screen earlier, there was an open window that did seem like you were writing fan fiction for Susan. Well, yeah, I mean, as adults, they reconnect. They reconnect over this crazy. Is that why? Is that why it was called The Reunion?
Well, yeah, I mean, I'm very I love Richard Linklater. And this is kind of very much like before sunrise, you know, that kind of a thing. So peanut butter solution is the first one. This is 30 years later. And we're kind of catching up with them. It's I think it's beautiful.
Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I love Squarespace. I'm in the middle of trying to balance my business life and my real life. This work-life balance, it's tough. But Squarespace has been helping me by giving me the tools to reach my goals and have time to celebrate. That's right, Squarespace is the all-in-one
website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. With the guided design system of Squarespace Blueprint, you can select from curated layouts to styling options optimized for every device. Get your website discovered fast with integrated optimized SEO tools. Plus, make checkout easy for customers with easy-to-use payment tools. You can accept credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay. Plus, with Squarespace AI, you can explain what your site is about. You choose your tone and enter what you need to get auto-generated results.
Perfect text. Anyway, I love Squarespace. I've been building sites with them from the beginning. And when I launched my book, I said I'm doing it all myself on Squarespace. And I'm very pleased with it. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help you find the right professionals for your team faster and for free. LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else, even those who aren't actively searching. 70% of users don't visit other leading job sites. If you're not looking on LinkedIn,
You're looking in the wrong place. LinkedIn knows that small businesses might not have the time or resources, so they're constantly finding ways to make the process easier. 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. They even just launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, making the process even easier and quicker. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash
That's linkedin.com slash valuable to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply.
Have you ever browsed an incognito mode? You probably think, oh, wow, that's safe. It's not. Not as safe as you think. In fact, all of your online activity is still 100% visible to a ton of third parties unless you use ExpressVPN. ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers so third parties can
can't see your browsing history. And it is so easy to use. Fire up the app and click one button to get protected. It works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets, and more. ExpressVPN is rated number one by top tech reviewers like CNET and The Verge.
And I got to tell you, whenever I connect to public Wi-Fi at a coffee shop or at the airport, I always use ExpressVPN because you never know how secure a public network is. And I feel so much more at ease knowing that I'm not being tracked. So protect your online privacy today by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash HDTGM. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash HDTGM. And you can get an extra three months free. ExpressVPN.com slash HDTGM.
Here's what I don't understand. So Connie ends up using the peanut butter solution to grow pubic hair. Yes. And that's a crazy moment. I want pubes. His story...
His story is very unsettling because because Michael's Michael's story. Yes, we're watching Michael grapple with this insane thing that's happening to him, which is he's growing hair at a rate that he cannot control. Right. And it takes over his life. He gets kicked out of school. It gets him in trouble. He protests. Teachers literally say, yeah, sign.
will resign because your hair is growing too much. Like they're not upset that his hair is growing that much. Well, maybe they are. They are. They don't want, which I did appreciate. They don't want his hair to be clipped during class because it's distracting, which I can understand.
Yeah, the principle is like the scissor, the cutting of the scissor, the scissor cutting is too noisy. I get it. I get it. I was very uncomfortable watching that. It was distracting. It was really distracting. Connie's just filling up paper bags full of Michael's hair during math class. That would be very weird. If that was happening in my math class, I would be like, what the fuck is going on? I also think that Connie was...
was doing a bad job of cutting hair. Why is he being so gentle and trimming? Just cut it, like make a big, just cut it from the back. Buzz it. Just get clippers. Yes. And then he could do it once a period. But I will say that those kids were cheering.
I never knew why. There are several moments in the movie where the kids are cheering. He's like, I want to learn. You can't kick me out of here. I need to learn. And the kid's like, yeah, he does. Just because he has hair. I mean, by the way, when he didn't have hair, he was ostracized. But when he had too much hair, he was embraced. Did you relate to that, Paul? Yeah. As a bald man, I relate to this and I see it. And I hate these kids who automatically had a baldness.
He had a bald song at the ready. That's right. I was like, how did they have a taunt ready to go? Like, when are these kids running into bald children? When they rip his wig off and the glue and you see it and he's on the soccer field. Oh, that was very upsetting. The soccer field where there is no net, where they kick a ball through the goalpost and some kid just has to run really far to go get the ball. But they have this song. I want to play this bald song really quick. Devin, if you just drop that in.
Paul, are you going to be okay to hear this? I mean, it's going to be hard. This is going to be very activating for you. Do you see what I mean by senores?
expression there. It seems like he's plotting something already just by looking at him. Well, I think what they're doing is they're like, they're having you have, see, and there's another scene later. So they're having you clock senior notice him bald. And then there's a later scene where he sees him like with crazy hair. And that's when senior, yes, that's when I feel like senior makes the connection and is like,
oh, wait a minute, I can use that. You know, give me some of that long hair. Give me some of those flowing locks. Senor is fired because he's not creative, yet he kind of wants to penalize the art world by making very overpriced brushes. Is that kind of it? No, he's fired, Paul, because he's harassing the students.
And the principal finds out he's been fired from two other schools, has changed his look, is a fraud, has been arrested for passing off forged paintings. He's a criminal. By the way, should have done that background check before he started.
By the way, I agree. They trust you there. Yeah. If you just show up in Canada and say, I want to teach kids art, they're like, sure, go ahead. They're just Canadian kids. They're pretty much like we just let them roam free. Yeah, I heard that. I heard that Trudeau just kind of walked into the prime minister's house. It's like, I'm going to take this over. All right, cool. It seems like he's doing the I will say this, though, senior. And I think this is what they were trying to show was senior hated imagination.
He didn't like seeing kids. Like when Michael drew the picture of the dog, Senor has a dog and he uses his dog as part of the art class. When Senor displays his dog and Michael draws flames around the dog, he's like, no, no, no, there's no flames there. He's cutting off kids.
off kids' imaginations. And so I think what he wants to do is say, you know what? Fuck this art world with their imaginations and their beautiful creations. My brother makes some money off of this. I'm going to charge the artists more money than they'll ever need for this magical or for this regular paintbrush because fuck the art world. I don't like imagination. But then when we go to Senor's
child slave factory, he's painting. This is where it gets, this is where I was like, what is happening? The movie becomes so insane. Signore himself is painting paintings that are so magical, that are so, there are magical worlds that you can step into
inside of them and disappear into the paintings. Whereas this paintbrush, this hair paintbrush has something in it that you only need to dip it in one color. The peanut butter solution. But it's not the peanut butter solution he dips it in. It's the hair that is grown. No, but the hair has the peanut butter solution in it. The hair has been grown from the solution.
But the hair is magic. But if Michael fucking listened and didn't put more peanut butter in it, they told him the ghost told him, don't use more peanut butter. Like his hair would have just been normal. So does Michael deserve it? Yeah, he kind of does. Wow. Michael is the villain. Wow.
This is wild. They told him don't use too much peanut butter. But here's what I don't understand. So, so what I was saying before though about Connie is so Connie decides that he, yes, Connie says that he wants pubic hair and which is a, just the, that whole sequence is very upsetting realizing it's, it's growing out of the bottom of his pants. Well,
Well, it's coming down his leg on both sides. It's referenced a number of times. Is it the teacher or somebody that says, and it looks like you've got a little problem as well. And he hasn't noticed that his pubic hair is pouring out of his pants bottoms. And what's so interesting about it is, I mean, it forced me to go down the rabbit hole of like, wow, if pubic hair were to grow that long, like, would it look like that?
Like, would it look long and silky like that? Because actual pubic hair is a very different type of texture. But again, peanut butter solution.
Could you say... Peanut butter solution. Peanut butter solution. I'm glad. That's just something now that once it's said, it has to be said by everybody. I like it. I was like, you know, this is a movie that could... They could have just donated all this hair to Locks of Love. Well, they were bagging it up. I don't think they accept pubic hair. I was just going to ask, do they accept pubic hair? Because I'm willing to...
I don't know. Does locks of love or locks for love? I'm not sure what it's called. Um, I just know that, uh, it's, it, they take hair. Uh, you have to cut it in a very specific way for them to take it. Like, so how many inches of hair do you have to tie off to send to them? And does it matter what kind of hair? That's all I'm asking.
I mean, look, the way that that hair came out of his legs, I think anyone would be happy to have that as a wig. That's what I'm saying. It looks like a great, it looks like silky, healthy, healthy hair. Oh, thriving. But this is what I was going to say though, Paul, is when Connie, when Connie wakes up one night and he's tossing and turning within his pubic hair, all he has to do is say, stop.
That's what I want to ask. Does it stop? Yes. Because he wakes up. This is like a scene from a horror movie. Yeah. He wakes up and he's like, it's itchy. It's itchy. And then he looks down and his pubic hair is growing across the floor visibly. Like a tentacle. Is this a child's movie?
That's what I want to know. And he just says, basically, cut it out, and it does. Okay, can I just tell you something? A deleted scene, which I found on YouTube, as this movie is on YouTube, it's also on Amazon Prime, but the deleted scene on YouTube...
When he yells stop, his voice changes and it would change for the rest of the movie. He was dubbed by another actor. They changed that at the last minute. So his voice became super low. Like he goes, stop.
Oh, so it's like it's like puberty, basically. Yes. So he basically goes through puberty in this movie. They kind of, I guess, last minute change it because it was in the trailer for the film. But not so. Wait. So if Michael goes through puberty, then he'll be able to stop the growth of his head hair. No, because it's a his seems to be related to the fright.
Oh my gosh. Okay. But Michael has to give the fright to somebody else for him to get his hair back. Yeah, there's a lot of magic that I don't understand. The movie, here's the thing. The movie is full of magical characters, but no rules, right? No, like there are ghosts. There is a fright. There are paintings you can walk into. There's all this kind of magical stuff. There's magical art. There's terrible art. Yeah. That facilitates things happening.
But none of it and nobody ever seems to be trying to put together what are the rules of this so we can either succeed with it or we are trapped or we're failing at it. It doesn't there's no there's no exposition. There's no characters who are seeking information like Suze and the dad and everybody is just kind of like freestyle. Ideally, Michael should have been tricked by someone to go in that house to get the fright so they would get their hair back.
Because it seems like that's what he's got to do. He's got to trick Senor to go in there and get the fright because then he gets his hair back. But then it doesn't explain why the peanut butter solution stops working. Connie does that, though. And it seems as though it just occurs to him to do that. He doesn't. That's not his plan. You know what I mean? No. That's what I couldn't figure out is why. Why is everybody in the dark all the time and just kind of like going with it?
Well, when Connie is kidnapped, he quickly comes up with a great cover story that his parents are dead, to which the kids verbally out loud just like, is that true? Is his parents dead? And then one kid even runs up to him and is like, is your dad dead? And he's like, shut up. But is his dad dead? No. I don't think we know. Oh, no? Do we know for sure not? I don't know that he's not because that last scene when the mom eventually comes home for that final moment and they're all hugging, I
I felt so sad for Connie. They're all hugging and Connie is just, Suze, the dad, the mom, Michael, and you feel like everything's going to be okay. And then they just cut to Connie just watching them smile. Connie leaves his sister at the lair. Connie goes home with
But not only that, but when Connie gets to the lair and is seeing, like, this child factory, he says to someone, I'm here to save Michael. Yeah. No mention of the fact that his sister... His sister is missing. His sister is missing. All right, so this...
is a bombshell. When we find out that Connie's sister is kidnapped, like we're freaked out because Michael's kidnapped. And then Connie just kind of drops it into casual conversation. This is, uh, this is, uh, Connie talking about the missing kids. Take a listen. I think he's gone mad, but it's not his fault. 20 other kids were missing from school. 20? I thought only 10. No, 20, including my Lynn, my baby sister. That's terrible.
If we could only get dad going. Change of topic. That's it. What does that mean, get dad going? Because dad has lost his mind at this point. He's been snapping his brushes. He's too in his head. He's crazy. Again, no police. There's no police presence. Nobody seems to be actively working on it. There's just newspaper headlines. Increasing number of children missing. But...
look at Suze. Suze doesn't even ask a follow-up. He basically is like, yeah, and my sister is kidnapped too. Like he doesn't seem to be bothered by it. They are reporting facts. She's unfazed. Unfazed. They're reporting facts as though like they, this is something that's happened in a town far, far away that they have no personal connection to.
Suze is just relaxing in that scene. She's like chilled out and he's like, including my baby sister. Including my baby sister, he says. And she doesn't change at all. She's just like, huh, if only we could get dad going again.
It's almost like he was like, my favorite thing to eat is like peanut butter sandwiches. And she's a cool. Yeah. You know, we got to figure out my dad. Like it, it is treated as a non sequitur. Not like I'm also in the same fucking crazy situation where my, and their solution is maybe we'll just listen. I've got no, yes. The peanut butter solution. Maybe I'll just go back. Like, again, there's 20 missing kids and they're, they're,
plan is to go and buy the dad new brushes so he can start painting again so that he can get his mind back so he can help them find the missing children. That's their plan. So when they go to the art supply store, they just have
to find a brush made keep in mind these are two people whose siblings are missing their siblings are gone and the thing they're doing is going and buying paint brushes so that the dad can wake up and they accidentally are like you know what this brush reminds me of something wait a minute I've cut this hair before this is Michael's hair by the way it looks like a beautiful brush
Well, OK, I've never seen a brush like that. I've never seen a brush with hair just like flopping over. And it actually doesn't look like Michael's hair. It looks like Connie's pubes. OK, I'm listening. It did not look like Michael's hair. Michael's hair is light. Yes, I agree. And like reddish blonde. And also like why? I don't understand why any artist would ever pick up.
Like, is he actually selling these paint brushes? Because I, you know, I used to paint. I haven't painted in a long time. I've never seen a brush that looks like that. You in high school, weren't you part of a traveling painting team? Yes. We would go travel from school to school. Yeah. I will say for paint competitions. Yeah. When I was in, when I was in Japan with my dad, we did some calligraphy together and I use brushes very similar to that. And,
And I looked at that brush and I was like, oh, I would love to... That was a giant... That brush was like 12 inches long and the hair itself was flopping over. I mean, it didn't look like you could get a... It looked like a horse's tail or something like that. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I feel like I've seen brushes or at least when I had horses, like we had like, I had like a crop that had like set sort of like a. Wait, what? And you made paintbrushes out of their tails? You had horses? I'm focused on when we had horses. Oh yeah. Paul had horses. He was actually kicked in the face by a horse and has a scar. What? Yeah. How do, this is, wow. Wow. The plot. He was literally like thrown across the bar. Dickens! Dickens!
Wait a minute. Can I ask an honest question? Paul, were you raised by horses? Look, they were part of my life. And, you know, and I think that, you know, everybody around me, I contributed to my parenting, the miseducation of Paul Scheer. The horses were like, we want that. We want that Tabasco V8. I was playing hide and go seek with my babysitter and I hid behind a horse and the horse, uh,
was getting maybe like something behind him. So he gave a little bit of a kick and the corner of its hoof sliced open my cheek and it kind of threw me backwards. But it wasn't like a full kick to the face. It was- But you got hurt. That's scary. I got many stitches. Yeah, I got many stitches from the sharpness of the hoof
And and did they let you put down that horse in retribution? You know, I honestly they made me apologize to the horse for hiding behind him. And that, you know, that was something I really took with me. But I will say that you have a special you do have a special connection to horses and all animals, but specifically horses. You really think so? Absolutely. Absolutely.
Well, I was going to say that one of the horse crops I used to use looked a little bit like that. It had a little bit more of a tail like that. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm misremembering that. I don't know. Is it possible that you were riding a horse with a giant paintbrush instead of a crop? By the way, can we just talk about these kids are making 500 brushes a day, right? And there's 20 kids. So that means that they're making 10,000 brushes a day.
I guess they all have to make 500 a day, so they're making 10,000 brushes a day. Oh my gosh. Great question, Paul, because this is what – it was so crazy about this movie. Like, this art teacher is now building a giant business. Whether he's spending – he seems to only be going to one very small art store in Toronto once.
one day a week i don't know how many other art stores there are but like where is he pushing this product you know and if if it's such a good product like why not scale it up you know go on shark tank or something and be like listen sharks i'm senior these are the brushes these are the magical brushes you know well i mean look he clearly doesn't need it he's he's he has
He seems to need more and more brushes. Like he's being able to sell 10,000 brushes. By the way, I just want to say that as we were talking, I did Google it. I was not wrong. There is such a thing as a horsehair crop. I'm sending it to you guys now. You can all enjoy it. So I felt nervous to embrace how much I knew about horses. You don't have to send it. I believe you.
Put it in the chat. Put it in the chat. All right. Hey, put it in the chat. So, yeah, I did maybe use a magical crop. You know, whenever I did hit my horse with it, we would go into a magical landscape where we'd ride over rainbows and go into like marshmallow castles. I mean, I never thought about it. Yeah. Dump it in the chat. I sent it to you over email the way that I'm working today. Oh, why wouldn't you put it in the chat? Oh.
Because I'm on my phone. Cram it in the chat. So 10,000 brushes a day. The kid is on a diet of yogurt. They mentioned that very casually. I mean, that is not good. A diet of yogurt. Like he's sedated on a diet of yogurt. Let me, can I ask a quick question about that specifically? Because I wrote that down too. I was like,
that would insinuate that somehow yogurt or dairy or something like that was part of the peanut butter solution or was part of the hair growth process, like that, that the senior would be feeding Michael something that is promoting the continuation of him to keep growing hair. But it seems like, no, that is not the case. He's just only feeding Michael yogurt, which is
I mean, Michael must be lying up in that thing, growing hair at an alarming rate, just having diarrhea constantly. Listen, I mean, Paul and I had a whole conversation about this last night because I thought yogurt was maybe causing our son to have like a lactose intolerant reaction. And he said there wasn't any...
Or I mean, as a kid, yogurt was a was a savior for me because I thought I could always eat that. But maybe there is there is lactose in here. There's lactose in yogurt. It depends on what yogurt you're getting. OK, so if it's Greek yogurt, then you probably don't have a problem, right? Well, anything Greek is totally cool. Yeah.
But basically, Greek yogurt is good for lactose intolerant people. That's that. Yes, it is. Yeah. By the way, the thing that you just emailed us, I can't open the picture. Wish you would have put it in the chat. You know, I wish you would just shove it in this chat so I can check it out.
But what you did put in the chat, though, is, again, just a link to your fan fiction about Connie and Sue in a romantic relationship in their 30s. It's funny. It's funny and it's sweet. I don't think I don't think Bennigan's is going to appreciate being mentioned so much in this. You don't think. Oh, come on. I mean, people love Bennigan's. It's such a great story.
It's such a great product. I mean, it's retro. Guys, I feel like you don't get me. You never have gotten me.
Oh, I can't I can't speak. I can't speak to. Oh, the other thing is when senior has his child slave factory making these paint brushes, he also has put them all in dyed like pink or orange is orangish geese. They all look like Padawans. Yes, they're all. They're all. Yeah.
I had a question because when Señor is teaching, he's not really, he's wearing both like a suit and then something over it, which...
I thought maybe was supposed to be a smock, but looked like a judge's robe. Yeah. Wait, are you talking about the hair robe? Oh, oh no. Later it becomes a hair robe. He was dressed more like an old school music professor. That's what I kind of thought. It was like a cape. He was wearing like, he was dressed actually, I think the best out of all the teachers there. And looked, I thought he carried himself. He was dressed like a professor at like Hogwarts. Yeah.
Yes, exactly. Yes. I felt like he was wearing wizard's robes in a way. Like, I agree. He was not wearing what an art teacher would traditionally wear, like some sort of smock or something like that. He was dressed like he was wearing, like, robes. He doesn't like art. By the way, Jason, I mean, I've never read Harry Potter, but J.K. has to shut the fuck up. Oh, I don't even. No, it's not great. The fact that she's doubling down is. It is a tough.
tough look. It is again for like, I have such a wonderful relationship to those stories and all of that, but it is a heartbreaking look from JK. Not good. Not good. All bad. No, JK, JK, not doing good. JK. No. Okay. JK. I'm going to work. I'm going to workshop it, but,
But it is unsettling and very unfortunate. Despicable. The horsehair crop is now in the chat. So everyone can look at the horsehair crop. Oh, God. This is a Pinterest. Okay, I see it. I see what this is. I don't like the look of this. I don't like this. This is unsettling to me. I wish I hadn't seen this. It looks like...
It looks it does. It looks like someone's ponytail was cut off and it was attached to wood. And that's what I used to use when I would ride my horses in the backyard. No wonder they kicked you. By the way, I don't want I want people to think that I grew up in a very rich neighborhood. I grew up in a very poor neighborhood that I just oddly had a corral in our backyard. Like it.
To me, when I think back on it now, it's comical that we had like a barn in our backyard and a very little area for our horses to maneuver. Well, you were a human. You were the only human boy in a horse town, right? Yeah. I mean, you know, the Mayor McCourse treated me with much respect. Mayor McCourse? Just like Mayor McCheese? Yeah. They knew each other. He took over for him after Mayor McCheese had that pay-for-play scandal. I can't believe an Irish horse was elected mayor. Yeah.
Can I just play the moment where Señor shows off his evil lair to Connie here? It's a great moment. Here we go. So, Inspector, you will never come again in my class, huh? West.
Now you are in the class which I never dismiss. Oh, yeah? I'm gonna escape. I'm gonna free all your prisoners. But why? They love me. Don't you, children? You see?
I think these Canadian kids like being there. I think that they liked having a little bit more focus in their daily life.
I mean, it's more active than their school. You know, that's for sure. By the way, did you see in the background that the dog was also wearing a hair shirt? Yes. Yes. I thought I just saw that in the clip. I was like, is the dog also wearing a jacket made of Michael's hair?
What's going on? He's making so much hair. And then here's my final question. Not final, but one of my final ones. Senor has a deeply Italian accent. His brother Rabbit has none. And his other brother, Dr. Epstein, has none either. So why is Senor... No, they both have accents. They have French accents. Oh, they're French? Oh, I thought their French was...
OK, I thought that was much more subdued than I mean, it's much more different. It's a different accent than than senior, which is, I think, them trying to throw us off like they're not like from this. Like if they but they because I wrote down at some point every single character except adult, except the father has an accent, whether it's British or French or Italian or everybody pretty much has an accent.
But you're right. Senor's is Italian, whereas the other brothers are just French, which is very weird. Strange. And I mean, I keep on coming back to this, but like what what does Senor want out of this? Does he because we know he has not named his company. He doesn't. He's looking at all those boxes of magical human hairbrushes that are ready to go. He does.
Where are they going? And what have these orders come in? And and the brother really want to make money. Yeah. The brother who's the art dealer, though, seems to be when they show. OK, so Suze, Suze and her father make finally they make the connection and that that they're all brothers. They go to the art dealer and they're like, hey, we need to find your brother.
He's got 20 kids. He's kidnapped 20 children. And the art dealer knows seemingly knows this and is not interceding in what is arguably a child slavery ring. Who knows what's going on? He's turning a blind eye because the brother is supplying him with paintings. Question mark, because he says, if I tell you, then he won't I won't get any more of his paintings.
So he's, I'm assuming, selling Senor's paintings for, I don't know. Probably for a pretty penny. And then they were like, well, he's like, but I won't see him again until Friday. And they're like, but it's Tuesday. Can everybody get into the paintings?
I don't know. Is everyone able to walk into those paintings? Because when they bring Connie into that one room where all the paintings are displayed in that black kind of void, they say these are magical and you can kind of enter into them. So is Rabbit selling paintings that you can enter? And how would even Signore know...
Oh boy. I mean, there's a whole market out there. There's a lot of stuff going on. Like basically Senor is cornering the market of creating a new style of painting and also the brush to do the painting. He's, he's the apple of painting.
Well, it would almost be like, I mean, again, this movie uses magic and magical stuff in a way that normal movies would make it the thrust of the movie. And that this movie is just kind of part of it a little bit. But like if we follow this through to its logical conclusion, there are people who have hung paintings in their homes that they can walk into, right?
Yes. Right. Like that's that's what's happening. And that's not part of it at all. Like, I would like to see a sequel where someone's just standing in their living room and they walk into a painting and are in like this magical waterfall world or whatever, you know? Right. I would love that. I mean, by the way, that would be very interesting. And I'm also it's like if I'm Michael's dad, I'm like, give me some of that hair. Like, what about me? I am.
Yes. Why wasn't his dad being proactive enough to cut that hair and use it as a brush? I mean, instead of just trying to put it in garbage bags and toss it to the curb. I mean, that's what they were just doing. By the way, did you guys know? By the way, garbage bags full of hair. Full. Just like black, plastic, giant. That was my first band name.
garbage bags full of hair. Yeah. I mean, can you imagine coming across that? Can you imagine opening a garbage bag, seeing it's all human hair and being like, what must have happened? What happened here? What's this story? Because it's all the same human hair. I was eating, I started to eat it. I bet someone got a fright. I started to eat breakfast burrito and then about at the hour mark of this movie, I was like, oh, I can't eat food during this.
I have a strict rule. I never eat during any of our movies because I never know. I resist the urge to wake you up last night, June, to make you watch this with me because I really needed to see it. Did you guys recognize the voice behind the sultry songs in this film? No. It's the one and only Miss Celine Dion. Well, it's Canadian, of course. That makes total sense. I did notice the last song. I was like, that's interesting. It's the last song when that
that started, I was like, wow, this is a really powerful, sensual song. Of course it's Celine. All right, let's hear, just because we can understand the words a little bit, the Michael song, the first song. ♪ To a child, the world is so wide ♪ ♪ To a child, storms are outside ♪ ♪ Come you fear, the rainbows fear ♪ Oh, this is her singing it. Oh, wow. ♪ Where you start ♪
Calling to your heart Everything you see Everything you find The darkest memories All come clearer When you open your eyes
I love that. That's the why no. So this is when he gives money to the why no. These are fully edited music videos and they'll play a little bit of Magic Man, the French one, just so you get a taste of the different types of songs. But these are made into full music videos for Canadian television because, and I didn't want to tell you this at the beginning, this movie is one of a series of 25 films, 25 fables under the...
under the title Tales for All, a series for children and film. That's what the opening title said, yeah. Yes, and most of these Tales for All included
scary things and things like dogs, um, were, so this is like a, like a goosebumps kind of thing for Canada. Yes. Um, yes, that's what it seems. I don't, is Celine Dion always involved or is this just in this movie? Just this one, because she was cornered at a radio studio and they made her agree to sing it. Uh, Skippy peanut butter paid for product placement. Um, and these were also turned into books. So there were books here too. Uh,
The Dog Who Stopped the War is one of the most famous ones. There's also one called Bach and Broccoli. I feel like we have to dig in on this series. This is kind of... There's 25 of them? There's 25, and the reoccurring theme is dogs and ghosts. There are a lot of dogs and ghosts in here. And here's just the French Magic Man song. It's called Listen to the Magic Man. Don't let the magicians break you down.
Thank you.
And so, just so you know, when you're listening to this, it looks like a beautiful movie about a magic man with a magical paintbrush. The kids are excited. She's excited. She's in one of the paintings. It's not really letting you know the horror of this film. I mean, the scene is like a child predator who has kidnapped 20 children and is forcing them to watch him paint a magical painting that he then walks into. Yeah.
I mean, this is, and it's also interesting to see like super young Celine Dion. Yes. Because I don't, I feel like when, when I'm become aware of her, she's already had a full, I mean, must've been a full career in Canada that I just, I knew she was, I knew she was Canadian and all that, but I didn't know she'd been, cause she looks like a teenager here, you know? Yeah. She looks like this is like her Debbie Gibson, you know, like electric face. I will say this.
This movie has frightened many a kid, has lived in their memory. It's become iconic. These Celine Dion songs, I think, in Canada are incredibly iconic. They're great songs. They actually have good melody to it. They're fun to listen to.
But I wanted to kind of read you some opinions about this movie because obviously we are baffled by it and we're joined by a legion of people that have been baffled and terrorized by this movie. So this is not as much of a second opinion as a shared opinion. We now present to you second opinions. The movie was a piece of shit. Yet this person recommends it. Tell me what is the message?
That of course was John Lajoie. And I will tell you that when John came on the show to do whatever Steven Seagal movie he did, I think glimmer man, he said to me, if you ever do this movie, you need to find it. You need to do this movie. Uh, and I never really heard of it, but he's from Canada and he knew it. And so I've always kept this in the back of my head. And these reviews are crazy. Uh,
The reviews are... Wait, can I ask you, Paul? Or Paul and June, I guess. Were you guys aware of this movie as kids? Never. I've never heard of this movie. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Good, good, good. Okay. I didn't know if this was one of those things that I just somehow missed and was ubiquitous, but no, it sounds like not. Okay, thanks. No, and basically most of the reviews follow a format like this. I didn't believe...
thought this was a nightmare that I had as a child. I'm so relieved to know that it's actually real. Like that is that it's kind of deeply in everyone's subconscious. And this one starts off with creepy pretty rights.
This is a crazy, creepy children's movie that will leave you wondering what the hell you just watched. Something my boyfriend watches, a little kid that gave him nightmares and left him wondering if this movie could possibly exist. Dot, dot, dot. It does. Five stars. Title ruined childhood. Wow. Wow. I, you know, I can see that this is this would be an unsettling movie.
Yeah. To seeing it as a kid, you know? It would be... Because there's no rhyme or reason. Tragedy just befalls this boy. It really is bizarre. And this is... There's a lot of, like, connection over this film, too. Like, this person writes... This is Jake the Snake. Not the actual Jake the Snake. Yeah, not the actual one. Jake the Snake Roberts, the wrestler? He goes...
I am super excited to be able to watch this again. I just ordered a copy. Thank God no one wanted to buy my VCR at the last three yard sales. Oh, no. Wait a minute. Oh, no. This guy's just...
Jake the Snake is having so many yard sales, cannot unload a VCR. Can't get that VCR to move. I was talking about old TV shows to this girl at work, and this movie came up. I was floored that she knew what I was talking about. I've tried to explain this movie to others, and they think I'm crazy, but she will flip out when she sees that I got this film for her birthday. She will be 34. Dot, dot, dot. Soulmate? I think so. Five stars. Five stars.
I don't like that. I don't like it. I don't like that he's created a fantasy where this woman is his dream girl and he's revealing it on an Amazon review. Oh, um,
This one is simple. This is from Matt Goldie. He writes, there's something about the tunes in this movie that will put you in a deep trance. I had an extreme out-of-body experience watching this movie, which wouldn't have been possible without the music. Highly recommend this for a good trip. Five stars. Title, subliminal messages galore. And then I'll just read this final one from Renee. And the title is... Celine's husband, Renee? Yeah.
Maybe. Written in 2004. It is possible. Renee writes, oh, man.
Million exclamation points. This movie must be seen. I have a neighbor who I was trying to describe this movie to, and I just came off sounding insane. My description was vague since I was so young when I saw it. There was this bald kid who had no hair. He mixed like 15 dead flies into some peanut butter, and he put it on his head in the shower. Then his hair grew so fast, they made paintbrushes from it. Then a bunch of kids found a huge scary picture and actually walked into it. My buddy was like, whoa.
What kind of weirdo movies did you watch as a kid? No wonder you are the way you are today. And that's all I remembered since I was just a little girl and I was terrified. I too had reoccurring dreams of personified paintings. And my buddy actually thought it was so weird that he looked it up on Amazon and ordered it for me. What a sweet guy. Someone who thinks you're weird and supports you too. Anyway, I haven't seen it in like 10 years and I'm watching it tonight with
My quote-unquote buddy. Thank you. Oh, and for the record, I'm pretty normal. Thank you. Five stars. Do we think at all that the writer of that review is the person that Jake the Snake got the DVD... I just think that this movie brings people together to have sex. I think this is a movie. I like the narrative around this movie is basically nobody believed me, but...
I'm right. Like everybody was scarred by this movie and couldn't but and couldn't convince people it was a real thing. Like this is this is a weird this is like a this is like a folk tale or something. It's like it's upsetting kids. And then people are like, that's not real. I do feel like and I'm being very sincere when I say that I do feel like this movie has a very real.
Hans Christian Andersen kind of story. Like those kind of scary fables that you hear as a kid. Like this has all the elements of it, but it's not been sanitized at all. But 1985, it should have been. Like they should have been like, oh, it's not that bad. It's like, you know, but this is like Hansel and Gretel, but sanitized.
scary. I mean, it's a scary, weird movie. It definitely is. It's definitely scary, and it's this, the thing that I found scariest about the movie is that Michael, the little boy who has the fright, loses his hair, does the peanut butter solution, grows his hair, gets kidnapped, is, you know, by Señor, all that stuff. That little boy, all of, in traditional, like, storytelling, he, like, goonies or
Any of those other... He would have agency of some sort. He would be trying to do something. And he, throughout the movie, things just happen to him. He very... He almost... The only thing he really does is...
go into the haunted house, really. That's the only thing he does actively. Everything else is reactive. The ghosts give him the information. He puts it on his head. He does the, you know, everything happens to him, which is weird. So that's why the third act, Connie has to be mobilized as the lead of the movie because he's going to figure it out and Susie as well. They're going to do something. They're the only active characters, which is such a bizarre thing.
thing to have in a kid's movie, a child who doesn't have a driving emotional engine. I just want you to say that what you just really described there is what all bald people go through. Oh, boy. This isolating paralysis, you know, and I think that this movie does a beautiful job and I think you did a great job summing it up. What
what we all have to go through. You know, we only have our friends to help us get through it and they don't want to, they don't want to help us get through it. You know, listen, I, I, I felt very connected to the story of a young boy who suddenly has way more hair than he ever thought would be possible for a child. His age, uh, that really hit home for me. I, uh, I understand why the bald part hit home for you, but for me, the, the overgrowth of hair was just as unset for me was very unsettling.
settling. Wow. Wow. Wow. Really connected, really connected with me. I mean, I was like, as someone who's never struggled with having too much or too little, like I couldn't really place myself in this movie. I couldn't see myself reflected back. And that was hard. It was like, you didn't feel like you were a Suze. I didn't feel like I was. I mean, I guess I most closely identified to Suze, but specifically I loved her outfits. I mean, I loved Suze's wardrobe.
Yeah, it was incredible. I liked her. She was my favorite part. Yeah, me too. Well, I think we said it all. I mean, we really got to the bottom of this in more ways than I ever thought was possible. And I'm so glad we finally got to do this movie, which is free on Amazon Prime. You can watch the deleted scenes on YouTube. Jason, June, anything you want to promote, tell anybody about anything at all? Nope.
uh, no, I know. I mean, yeah. Uh, stay safe, stay home, you know, uh, be well, everybody. Yeah. Same, same here. Uh, I just will direct you guys to, uh, Jason and I got to do a, uh, a fun, uh, Marvel comic book thing. It's the world's greatest book club with Paul Shear. Jason's on it. Just type in Paul Shear, Jason Manzoukas and Marvel. You can watch us talk about comics and also, uh, support, which was so fun by the way, Paul. And that's, that,
that video that we did is one in a series that Paul did for Marvel, all of which are terrific. You talked to Damon Lindelof, you talked to, um, a whole bunch of people that were just like really great interviews. If you like comics and stuff like that, I really enjoyed the series. You'll get a, you'll get a little taste of some fun books to check out. Um, and I just want to give a big, and also, you know what, sorry, if you don't mind, I will mention, uh,
there's a new animated show coming out on HBO max called close enough from the people that created the regular show. Uh, and I'm one of the voices on that and it's coming out in July. Oh, I love that. Um, and I want to say remembered a big thank you to our super producer, Cody, who's keeping it all together, uh,
home and making everything stay on track. Our amazing engineer, Devin, who makes these things sound way better than they need to. Averill Halley and Nate Kiley, who do our research and picking of the films. Also, Zach McAleese and Kyle Waldron, who does some of our great art that you can find on our Instagram and Facebook pages. Molly Reynolds, who is just, you know, I would say a designated hitter. She comes in, whatever the job is, she knocks it out of the park. Thank you guys so much for listening. Bye.
EARRAPE