Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
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BAS.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Finally, a movie that makes the XFL look like a good idea. We saw Rollerball, so you know what that means. It's the video score! What's the name of this belly? Rock and roll, snow vest, rock rips into Kelly. I made you see a burlesque show with Nick Crowe. And take a boat with speed to hit the group's control. Jay, I'm gonna take you from the pool, brother.
We are here.
to talk about a very important movie. That's right. The 2002 Chris Klein classic. If you hear the audience reacting, it's because I came dressed as a professional rollerballer. That's right. I've tattooed my own number under my eye. Now, if you've not seen Rollerball, and I don't suggest that you do, but if you have not seen it, let me tell you, it takes place in the future? Where...
Sports entertainment has graduated to a new form of rollerball, motorcycle, hockey, basketball. And get this, it's kind of corrupt. That's right. The more people get hurt, the higher the ratings go. And when Chris Klein finds out about that, he's confused.
And then after multiple people tell him he has to stop it, he decides, all right, now I'll stop it. Which builds to a very exciting climax because it means the movie is over. This is a remake of a 1975 James Caan movie that was very much a political statement about corporations and entertainment. And they got rid of all of that.
But you'll get into this movie in every detail. Let me bring out my co-host. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jason Manzoukas. What's up, John? What? That's what I'm talking about. To play. Let me tell you, Jason, if there was a place for a rollerball league, I think Providence might be it. Oh, yeah. I feel like Providence would excel.
But it wouldn't be like rap rock. It would be like somehow ska punk. I like it. I'm in. And you know what? There's no one better to talk about ska, punk, or accents than my next co-host. Please welcome to the stage Miss June Diane Raphael. Wow. How are you, June? I'm okay. This was an odd one.
This was strange stuff. I don't know what you mean. It made total sense to me. It was compellingly portrayed by every actor in the movie. This movie is when, I guess when politicians in the 80s were like, MTV is bad, this proved them right. The same, Paul. I felt like I don't trust youth culture. I don't like it.
I felt very upset by everything that was happening in this movie. And by the way, when I realized, oh, this is a sports film. Is it? Well, I was looking forward to that. And I did say to you, Paul, I said, is rollerball a sport? Yes. Right. And you said, we'll save that question for tonight. So I asked both of you, is this a sport that exists in the world? No, but shouldn't it be?
But here's what I'll say. No, it's not. It doesn't exist. The closest we've come to rollerball existing is Starlight Express. The Andrew Lloyd Webber roller skating musical. That's a deep cut. Providence not with me. Look, rollerball is like roller derby meets professional wrestling with an element of the movie The Running Man. It's an odd thing, but...
In 2023, it doesn't feel as far off as I did in 2002. Well, you said something that was particular. In the beginning, I think you said that this movie takes place in the future. Yes. I don't think it does. Really? I thought that.
The James Caan one takes place in the future. Oh, okay. Which is an easy mistake to make. But I think this movie is meant to be a commentary on current, whatever. What is it? 2000 and... Two. Two. All right. Well, that's interesting because I thought it was like... But I'm so glad to know there was another movie because when I watched the opening credits and I saw screenplay based on another screenplay, I was like, whatever could that mean? Yeah.
It's a screenplay based on a screenplay based on the short story of the man who wrote the screenplay. Which is itself based on a stoned conversation had... All right, I will start off with the good. The good is this opening sequence. Put this up against any Mission Impossible movie. This is awesome. The street luge. Yes.
fucking crazy. Okay.
so don't even understand what's going on. I don't understand a lot of this movie, but so Chris Klein gathers people. They pay to take photographs of this, but he also is in competition? Also, does Streluge happen on working streets? To me, Streluge is like cleared out. We're going to go fast and race, but the idea that they're inside of pedestrians and traffic...
Seems crazy. And photographers who are there to capture it, but also are like, like kind of jeering them like, Hey, look up. They're like, Hey, you know, they're like fucking with them. What are the photographers doing with those photos? Exactly. Putting them in like Thrasher magazine. Yeah.
No, I couldn't get a sense of like, are they making money as street losers? Who even knows? The only way to make money is a North American cable deal. And if they're not doing that, then they're not making money. That's what this writer's strike and actor's strike was all about. That's what we're doing. We're fighting. Trying to get back to the North American cable deal. We need the residuals. We need the residuals. Pencils down. Here's the thing.
The amount of police officers at Chris Klein's house was shocking. For what? For what? For street lusion? Yes. For street, come on. Jason, at most, street lusion has to be like a misdemeanor. There's no way. What crime did he commit? Yes. Okay, find the Zodiac Killer.
By the way, you already got one of the losers because he flew through a Chinese restaurant that seemingly was open at 6 in the morning. Maybe it was a dim someplace. I don't know. But it seemed like they started street lushing at like 4 a.m. And to get from the top of San Francisco down to the bottom. It's like surfing, Paul. It's like that's when you catch the best. I get that they need to do it, but it seems like the sun came up very quickly. I don't know.
I'll be honest, I wasn't always looking directly at the movie while it was screening.
How did, when Chris Klein is street luching. Yes. Fucking hell. The first act of this movie is street luge followed by a single rollerball game. By the way. For 35 minutes. There are only two rollerball games in this whole movie. And it seems as though the movie is four hours long as a result. It's so long. I watch this movie on 1.25 speed. Smart. Why is this?
I don't know, Jason. This is where I really struggled. Again, and I'm all for it. I love pickleball. I can get... I love pickleball. Are you comparing pickleball and rollerball? Are you hearing John McTiernan remake this movie as pickleball? No, because what I want to say is this.
I am happy to get behind a sport that the culture has deemed like silly, you know, and I'm happy to see an alternative sport represented on my screen and I'm happy to root for it. But I never got a sense that this team was practicing, working on different plays, you
working on strategy. I'd love to know what positions they were playing. Positions are tricky. Motorcyclists? I'd love to see a training montage. It's like they just threw... Any of us right now could have been thrown into that ring and could have played. And succeeded. But can I just go back to this one thought I had? This movie...
is about a professional or wannabe professional hockey player who makes money street lugeing, who then becomes a professional rollerballer. None of those things add up, right? The luge does.
doesn't help rollerball. Hockey is played on skates, not rollerblades. Ice skates. It wasn't like, oh, well, you're so good at street luge. Why isn't he just going down the street with rollerball? In my opinion, if you're an NHL prospect, don't be street luging. Fuck up your whole opportunity. Wasn't he street luging for 400 bucks, which I think he had to split with that other guy who seemed to have it out for him. He's like, hey, man, back off.
I love Chris Klein. You love Chris Klein? I thought it was a great performance. I did. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Where am I? What? I thought with what he had. And by the way, I think Rebecca Romijn's performance, and I won't say Romijn Stamos. I will call her by her Christian name. Rebecca Romijn.
Do we know she's Christian? I don't. I thought she gave a wonderful performance. And I love that accent. And I'm sorry, Angelina Jolie. Angelina? I'm sorry, all of you out there. But she played a European-esque badass as good as the rest of them.
I'm on board. As good as the rest of them. I thought Rebecca Romijn also. Fantastic. Prime RR. Oh, yes. Working out topless? Love it. By the way, I have to talk about, though, Jason. Oh, please. I'm so sorry to interrupt. I'm very rude when I'm interrupted. Jason hates being interrupted by women in particular. I'm so sorry. How dare you?
I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but I did find the topless work in this movie. So many, there's like the top, it was very strange because the topless women were oddly, except for the announcer, not sexualized. Like there's so many topless women in the locker room. It's very Starship Troopers is what I wrote.
Okay. I feel like, yes. I feel like they want to be doing a Paul Verhoeven kind of thing. Yes. But I really loved it and I thought it worked. And I was like, this is, you're getting me on board with rollerball. When I see all of these tapas women walking around in a locker room, now I don't want to be tapas in a women's locker room.
And when I see that type of parody, I tip my hat. So I don't know what the culture of Rollerball is. I would have liked to see some more balls. Make this movie more like Naked Attractions. Show some of the junk down under. My question is, even alone, if you were alone, left to your own devices, would you lift heavy weights nude? No. Would you work out? That's weird.
It's like that killer in Die Hard 2. She's in the dark.
In Die Hard 2, when you first meet the bad guy, he's doing Tai Chi naked, and you see this, like, tanned ass cheeks, and I'm like, oh, I know he's a bad dude, because if you're doing Tai Chi naked, something's messed up up here. So I feel like it's sending us a mixed signal. Like, she shouldn't be in. It's too dark in there. She needs to protect her body. At least wear some gloves so she doesn't get calluses. They also do this thing with her where she is, for the first
bunch of the movie, I found that she was always in shadow, always in helmet, always obscured. And I loved her helmet. Loved it. I thought it was great. I thought there was a lot of cool design elements in the whole movie, except for the jester's hat? I could not get on board for the jester's hat. And how about the jester's puppet? Yes, the jester's puppet. Crazy. But I didn't realize for so long that it was Rebecca Romijn.
Really? So much so that it wasn't until their adventure where they come to the riots and she's like, we gotta go, we gotta go. And I was like, Rebecca Romijn? Wow. Well, I thought she did beautiful work. Well, here's the thing.
Her face is covered for her introduction. Like, we don't see her. I have a lot of questions. And we're meant to believe that she's insecure about her scar, and that's why, and Chris Klein is like, your scar's not even that bad. Don't even worry about it or whatever. That she's, like, ashamed of that, and that's why she covers up or something? That seems to be some reason. Seems like a weird thing to be worried about when you play professional rollerball.
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Here's the thing. I just want to go back to Chris Klein for one second because I think they do him a disservice. In one of the first lines he says, he's like, oh man, look at all those baubles you got. Baubles? Like, this is a person who should never say the word baubles. But Paul, because I thought that too, and I actually had a conversation with myself. I said, if you were given, if you saw that on a page and you were told, say that line. Say that line like it's your own.
I thought his delivery of, whoa, look at those baubles, was honestly Oscar-worthy. Honestly, tell me you could do it any better. He had to say those words. That's why I thought the movie took place in the future. I was like, only would a person in the future be so comfortable using the term baubles. Here's what I'll say, June.
And I agree. And I think Chris Klein's great. But everything, all the, he's not, he's not. He's doing his best. He's doing his best. Everything you're giving to him, I'm giving to LL Cool J. Because to me, not that you're taking it away from him. Not that you're taking it away from him. But in watching it, he was the one that I was like, oh, he feels organic and he feels like he exists.
in the world. Right. In a way that Chris Klein never settled in for me. Well, there are moments, though, where they talk. He's like, hey, man, come with me, play rollerball in Kazakhstan as part of the Zombel Horsemen. And he goes, I'll run defense, you run offense. Never would have expected running defense meant that LL Cool J spends most of his time on a motorcycle. Like, did not...
LL Cool J played hockey with him? Because he's like, it'll be just like old times. And I was like, doing hockey? Because the skills are not at all applicable. Well, that's what I'm saying. They don't seem to have. Like, again, why street luge? A thing that doesn't factor into any part of the movie. Like, at the end, if you had them escape via street luge, I'd be like, ah. Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't that be great?
But the movie that this reminded me of the most, and I say this in the sense that what the movie could have been, the promise of the movie, because I feel like it doesn't follow through enough because it doesn't want to have any fun. This movie is XXX, The Return of Xander Cage. Yes. Like, to me. Is that a movie we covered? Yes, it is.
Vin Diesel skis down a non-snow-covered mountain, you might remember. Anyway. No. I wanted this movie to have some of that, like, gonzo fun element to it. But it doesn't, nor do I care about any of the people, really. But we are also forced, and this is the craziest thing, we are forced to watch movies.
30-minute long games that none of us understand the rules for. And when the rules are explained, they try to simplify them. That's so hard. It's because I actually went back, Paul, to watch the rules at one point. And I thought, I understand the game less now. I'm getting further away from it. Look, scene three. Is this the announcer? This is the announcer. This is WWF legend Paul Heyman.
He's wonderful in the movie. He's a real bright spot. I mean, by the way, all the announcers, cause they cut to all the announcers. I like them and that they were there. I like that. I also just thought of this guy, this announcer sitting there for one day and they're like, okay, so now this happens. Like, Oh my God, you know, he was never there on any day. Like it was just like one day. They're like, now you're shocked. Oh, you know? And, and, and he looks and when you're first meeting all the, uh,
announcers, we're brought into this world via him. Like, he's hung over in the back of a cab and we're watching him go to work. And then I'm like, well, this is again why I think it's the future. It's like we're in a bombed out shelter, but this thing seems to be sponsored out the ass. It's like, he's drinking Fanta's, there's condiments.
I also was like, are the announcers famous as well? Because they travel to all the events everywhere. And I couldn't figure that out. But this scene, because I wrote down a bunch of it, because I was like, he gives a two-minute detailed rule-by-rule breakdown only to have the third act of the movie then be like, this one, no rules.
None of them. All the rules you learned, boom. No rules. But I would also argue he gives a two-minute long breakdown. We're going to watch it in a second. He gives a two-minute long breakdown and then goes, and there are a lot of rules that I won't even tell you. Because they're in Russian. Because they're in Russian. But yet, this is not a Russian sport because they travel all around the world. So why is it just...
Did he only have the Russian rule book? Is it different when they're in? I don't know. Here, take a look at the rules. A team must go around the track twice, maintaining possession of the rollerball before they can score. It's really that simple. As simple as using a lifestyle, trimming your condom before sex. Can you pause for one second? Okay. I had closed captioning on.
It didn't translate any foreign languages at all. Did I fuck up or did the movie fuck up? Did I not turn on a thing? It would have helped so much for this to be information I can receive. This moment is odd because we are introduced to a world in which every part of this organization is selling to advertisers. And when this guy mentions a condom brand, he's like, what? What?
What? Like, weird? No, it's not weird. Everything is a fucking brand in this. I mean, well, I guess maybe it's all the... I think the joke was just like female condoms. Oh, it's female condoms. I think so. Is it? Oh. Yeah. I get it now. Women don't need those shits. Cool. Do those still exist? I think so. Yeah. How do they work? It's a version of them. I'll tell you. At one end, it's like a diaphragm.
Right. You fold it, you tuck the whole thing inside, and it's like the whole thing is then... It creates a wall, essentially. It's like a bag is coming out. Yeah. And so you go inside the bag. Got it. The diaphragm thing then pops open so that it is tight in there, and that's what you got. Yeah. I've heard. I think that's right. I think that's right. All right. Be safe out there, Providence.
These fucking monsters are out here raw-dogging each other. You see, you've got a buddy, see, it's a female condom. Fox in the box. Fox in the box. Fox in the box. Let's watch the rest of this rules, because it's worthy, if you've not seen the movie, to just hear some more rules.
The ball must be held at all times. Player gear may be only used to dislodge the ball or prevent a score. A team gaining possession must first do the rabbit hole. That's that killer... By the way, Paul, just pause this here for a second. Look at how small this rink is. Yeah. There are four motorcycles that are about to arrive in there. Four, two on each team. This is the circus level size. Here's the other thing. Imagine...
You tune in to Sunday afternoon football, and they go, all right, everybody, let me explain the game. It's called football. We got two teams. This is what the field looks like. Like, this is not game one, but it seems like every, like, this is like, okay, I got to explain it again.
And the sport's called basketball. Players got to dribble it, and if they stop dribbling it, it's called a double dribble. And then they got to shoot it into a net. But they can only shoot it into one net. If they shoot it in the other net, it doesn't count. And now to start the game, the live band that soundtracks this sport. By the way, including Slipknot. I thought that was a great idea. Did you see Slipknot?
- Hipnot is one of the bands. - Did you see that Pink was on the wall? - What? - Yes! - Okay, I was like, is that Pink or does it look like Pink? But I was like, it is Pink. Pink is on, like at one point when Chris Klein's walking through something, Pink's like singing, she's another one of the, she's out in Mongolia, you know, supporting Rollerball in 2002.
That's incredible. Because I couldn't make heads or tails out of like, what is it? Here Comes the Boom? What's that song? There are so many bad songs. Slipknot was digitally inserted into the film. No. Yes. I'm sorry. Say that again. Slipknot, not unlike a female condom, was slipped in...
To the Knot? They were slipped into the Knot? No, Slipknot was digitally inserted into the film after because they're like, we need to get this movie more popular. We need to get Slipknot in there. So I think this is like a majority of CGI budget was spent to put them behind the wall.
Wow. I thought it was effective. I was all on board. Money well spent, as far as I'm concerned. I love that this movie took on, like, a labor movement. Mm-hmm. And the rise... I really did. I was like, okay. Okay, rollerball. You know, the workers' movement and the workers of the mine rising up at the end, I was very much on board for. Oh, yeah. I really was. I was like...
Okay. At the beginning, right in this next beat, when they're talking, and maybe it's Chris Klein's first game, is this first game? I'm not sure. He seems to know everybody. But regardless, one of the opposing players...
They introduce as the local boy made good. You know, he's the big bruiser. Local boy made good. He was from the mines and now he's their number one player. I was like, I want to watch a movie about that guy. I'm rooting for the fucking miner who is up there being like, I have only this. Otherwise I go back to the mine. Oh my God. There were so many people in this movie I wanted full movies about.
All of the minors, every single one of them. Everyone. None of the principal characters. Yes. The other character in this movie I want a full movie and then multiple sequels about is their head coach. That woman. Oh, yes. That woman was great. Fascinated by her. Isn't it great to see a woman coaching this sport so many years ago? You'll love to see it.
Was she a good coach? I can't quite tell because... Well, nobody knows what she was coaching. What plays was she calling? It seemed to me that the sport got more interesting or at least easier to follow once all hell broke loose. When that guy got smashed in the face, now, it was a steel ball, right? Seems like it. But when he smashed it in his face, it kind of felt like a water balloon popped on his face. I think that was his face.
Oh. I think it was sweat and teeth and he was fucked up, that guy. But then when Chris Klein on his first game, again, not sure, knocks on the wall to be like, hey, Ska Band, start it back up. Let's go. I'm like, oh, I understand this game more now on some level. Like the violent version of the game, I think I don't know. So here's what I think a game of rollerball looks like.
I think that you have to, you first start off, there's one sort of section you have to go through if you're on offense, that special rabbit hole. Which seems awkward as hell. You get out of that thing, and then you have to go into the other team's area with the ball twice before you can score, which means throwing that steel ball against a gong.
That explodes. That's it. That's the game. I think you have to go around twice. Then you can go through the rabbit hole. And when you kind of pop out of the rabbit hole, that's what puts you in scoring position.
And they throw it at the gong. I'm not leaving this theater until we know and have played at least one round successfully. I'm going to be honest. The stage is the size of a rink as far as I can see. Yes, and we have two motorcycles backstage. Let's go. But you basically, the motorcyclists are the blockers. And the rollerbladers are the offense. Okay, so this was my problem with the game.
If I am playing rollerball, one of the strategies that I would employ is pretending to have the ball and skating around. Like a quarterback sneak. All of them, yes, like a sneak. All of them, when they have the ball, are like...
And just rollerblading around. Do they pass the ball? But I think that they do, and they also criticize Chris Klein for being a ball hog, right? You're not passing or whatever. But I think they're doing that for the viewer at home because it's terrible strategy to be like, here I am.
Here I go! Woo-hoo! You know, you should be, like, everybody should be pretending they have the ball. You should be confusing the, you know. But I think the reason why they have to show it is because the same reason when he drinks a Fanta after winning, show the label, show the label, and he shows the label. They got to hold up that ball because for whatever reason, in 2002, television reception is real bad. It's like, looks like you're watching 3D movies without the glasses. Yeah.
And I'm like, they're like, guys, you got to hold up the ball because it's basically static. I mean, why did TV go backwards? Because I'm assuming because this isn't, Paul, I'm so sorry, North American cable. No.
We're not even on fiber optic cable lines. But yet... We're not even in the first six channels, so I couldn't understand that when our main bad guy was upset he wasn't in the first six channels. Yeah, we're watching channel 56 here. Because, as everyone knows, back in 2002, you started watching channel two. Okay, okay. Got it. Everybody knows when you start watching...
When you start watching TV, you start at 2. Then you go to 3 and you're like, nothing's on 3. You go to 4. It's such a funny concept. You've got to be in the first 6. This is like a world in which cable doesn't exist, but yet it's 2002. This is the year Star Wars 2 comes out. It's also a world in which when you turn off your TV, when you turn it back on, it automatically starts at the beginning of the channels. Yeah.
I also found it fascinating, and I could spend the whole rest of the show just talking about the two rollerball games. Well, that's the whole movie, Jason. I'm so sorry, June, but you're wrong, because there is a beat in between where the movie is fast and furious, where they get out, so sports cars are splayed out, everybody gets to jump all over, street race, go through town. I laughed.
- It was so hard. I literally, you had already left the hotel room. I was crying laughing by myself when they cut to night vision camera. - Oh my God! I rewound! - Why? - I rewound thinking my thing must be fucked up.
Why are we in night vision? Whose night vision are we in? Yes! We have not seen anyone put on night vision goggles. And it makes no sense to be like, we want to shoot at night. We can't light it, so we'll just use night vision? Well... I feel like McTiernan... Again, I just... We haven't really stated this. This movie
movie is directed by an action movie legend die hard predator thomas crown affair die hard with the vengeance last action hero the hunt for red october i mean this is and and he goes to prison for me for the wiretapping fraud of anthony pelicano for this movie this movie
I was going to throw it to you to say, can you explain? I know a little bit because I did some research before the show, but can you explain? I can't explain exactly how it relates to this movie. I can. Great. Thank you. Basically, and I want to get into night vision as well.
And just before this, Anthony Pelicano, notorious Hollywood fixer. There is a documentary about him called Sin Eater, The Crimes of Anthony Pelicano. So good. Incredible documentary. Sorry, go ahead. So basically, a couple things happen with this movie. Number one...
This movie was like a much more like interesting sci-fi or futuristic film that's talking about how, you know, advertising takes over. The original, you mean. The original. The James Caan one. But then this script that leaked on Ain't It Cool News, we're talking old school, right? So it leaked on Ain't It Cool News. Like, oh my God, the new Rollerball script
It fixes all the problems of the first movie. It's way more interesting. It's about society and corporations and sports and the way that they treat athletes. And John McTiernan comes in and is like, get rid of all that shit. I need more rollerball. And we don't need the political commentary. So he rips all that out of the script, makes this movie, screens it. In the screening, the test screening, people are jeering like, boo, this sucks.
Somebody make a podcast about why this is so bad in the future. And so he's forced to reshoot and re-edit the movie, cut it out, take out all the violence. It was a much harder R and took out a lot of the nudity. And he was trying to mess it around. And so the issue was...
He was trying to blackmail one of the producers of this movie. So he contacted Anthony Pelican. It was like wiretap his phone. And if he says something shitty about the people who work at the studio, then I can say to him, hey, motherfucker, I heard you say that. So now you've got to work with me so I can get more money to make my movie. Like he was like trying to capture everything.
on this producer that the producer was saying one thing to him and one thing to the studio because they felt like, or he felt like, they weren't at, they were at odds about what the movie should be. So the FBI calls him and goes, hey, did you ever ask Anthony Pelicano to wiretap somebody? He's like, no. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know he had that capability. And they go, well, here's a tape of you saying, can you wiretap somebody? Okay.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I did it. And he goes to jail. Yeah. Oh, he goes to jail. Yes. Wow. For this movie because he was trying to get... Can you imagine? Can you imagine going to jail... How much time for this? Trying to protect your cut rollerball. Think about that for a second. He went to jail for a year.
That's a long time. A year. And the reason why he went for such a long time... He's probably in his 60s at that point. The judge said, you think you're above the law. You have shown no remorse. You've lived a privileged life, and you simply want to continue that. He's like, sir, I did not direct above the law. And he went to Yankton, South Dakota, to serve in a white-collar... Basically white-collar criminals. But it's... All right, so...
To get to night vision. In the reshooting of this movie. One of the issues was this whole sequence was way too dark. And they didn't have money to go reshoot it. So they just put night vision? They just put night vision over it. I'll say this. I'll say this. Because it was an insane choice.
And then your explanation makes it double insane. But as I was watching it, I was like, this is kind of cool. It's weird because it's as if the filmmakers became a documentary. That's what it felt like. I thought, so now there's a documentarian behind the camera filming this situation. It's a mockumentary. And then we kill...
one of the three main characters, easily the most charismatic character in the world. LL Cool J? LL Cool J. Are you sure he's dead? What do you mean?
So this was a point I might have gotten up during this sequence to get a glass of water. So I'm genuinely not sure. Suddenly I thought there was like a post-credit scene that I had missed. Oh no, he's for sure dead. He's for sure dead. Yeah, the bad guy's got a sniper. Okay. That's unfortunate. He makes the jump though. He does make the jump. He's about to get to the gate to enter safe space. It's a beautiful jump. And the guy's like, pow.
And the bike wipes out and you, you know. But again, because it's in night vision, you can't see much. You don't even get a moment with a main character's death. It's from a distance. And to your point. That's why I think I just missed it. Well, he blew up. It's like watching like
like footage of like war it's like oh yeah something blew up there because it's all white now it's like that's what his death was like yeah i guess i don't know it's like honestly i choose to believe he's still alive and well well here's the thing that's my choice
Here's the thing. They wipe out. They wipe out on the bike. They're close to the bridge. The bridge is going up and they're fighting about who should get on the bike and who should live. And Chris Klein says, you go. You've got a family. You've got kids. Get out there. Go to the embassy. Get them to come get me. Blah, blah, blah. I just was like, save LL Cool J. Kill Chris Klein. So that the movie becomes interesting. Yeah.
Is the premise of this movie, or is the plot of this movie, this league is corrupt? Because it would be one thing if you go in and it looks like the NBA, right? You'd be like, oh shit, it's corrupt. But this looks like basketball.
backyard wrestling. And he's like, I can't believe it. I can't believe this fucking dungeon that I'm in, there's weird money exchanging hands. It looks like everything is bad is going on there. The minute I arrive at Rollerball HQ, if I'm Chris Klein and I see that Jean Reno is the head of this organization, I'm like...
Oh, no. There's a villain in charge of here. Absolutely. As soon as I see a jester hat come out, I'm asking some major questions. Oh, yeah. And the fact that Chris Klein goes to him and is like, hey, I think someone cut this helmet strap. I'm like, dude, are you a fucking moron? There are a lot of reasons some people choose cannabis.
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This movie has a moment in it that I told you I was watching on 1.25 speed, which is just a little faster. I gotta remember. And just a little faster. That when...
When Chris Klein does fight Jean Reno at the end, I want to get to all that. They jump cut the fight scene. I'm like, oh, clearly 1.25 speed has fucked up the fight. I went back to normal speed. No. Throughout the movie, there's weird jumpy editing, I will say. Well, that is primarily... That scene that we just watched. Primarily because they cut out plot points.
for the reshoots. So they couldn't afford to do a lot of reshoots because they ran out of money. The budget was $70 million. Whoa, no! $70 million? Whoa! That's twice as much money as the movie we saw last night, The King's Daughter, which shot at Versailles. This was shot in a warehouse in Calgary. Um...
So 70 million. So they just cut out scenes. So there's moments in the movie where you will watch somebody talking to Chris Klein like, I want to tell you something right now.
Alright, so get out there and have a great game. It's like, whoa, wait. It's very bizarre. That happens constantly, so much so that the first couple of times, again, I rewound thinking I must have hit a button. And no, obviously I didn't. And then I was like, oh, this is just all chopped up and it's a fucking mess. And the fight scene, though, I don't know why you need to jump cut a fight scene. It's like,
Either it looked so bad, like Chris Klein, punching. It's like slow motion. First of all, you have Chris Klein who does not have a weapon against multiple Russian men who have guns. Well, June, he's got a stool. We all know a stool can take a shotgun blast. Back in medieval times, most people, knights used stools.
One of the funniest shots to me was when we were preparing for the second game of the movie, and there was a shot of the team, the red, what are they called? The horsemen. The firecrackers? The horsemen? The red firecrackers. By the way, when the firecrackers come out of the locker room, it's set up with the music and everything. This is supposed to be our hero shot of them coming out to really win the day.
And then I realized they're all on rollerblades. Because something about the cadence of their walk, I was like, this is weird. This is strange. And then I realized they're rolling out there. And it really revealed how dumb this movie is and how dumb they all are to even try to create this sequence when they're all just rolling out there.
It's a tough, it's a tough, to face a team that appears to have in the center of it, a character based on the Knights who say knee in the, oh yeah, in the Monty Python movie, like with a big Knights thing on, make heads or tails out of any. Well, that's like the wrestling part of it because of like, what's regulation here? You would think they would have a regulation helmet.
But like some people's faces are kind of out. Some people are like, like Rebecca Romijn is like fully, like she's in a full mask, like which I would do if I was in Raw. By the way, and I love that, the visual of that. A couple of people had big, great masks that I thought, I want, I wanted so much more of that. So much more interest in the design elements and the stuff that seemed really, make it the future then. I don't know. It just, yeah. Do people think it was the future?
Okay. Thank you. Let's not be so judgmental. But let's be sure, Paul. I just want to ask. Okay, sure, sure, sure. Some of you out there agree with me. I feel like the first one has that future element of it because I feel like it's part of that clutch of movies like Logan's Run and all those movies that were like, the future's going to be totally fucked. And of course, but the savior is James Caan.
He's got shoulders, baby. I do love the end of this movie because also we talked about lugeing, we've talked about hockey, we've talked about rollerblading, and then Chris Klein works a shotgun like a fucking pro. Like, this is a guy who takes a broken shotgun. He's like, oh yeah, bam! I'm like, he knows how to shoot a fucking gun? Like, not even a gun. He's a hawk.
player. Why did he use a fucking the shotgun like as a stick and you know throw an ashtray at someone's head. Like give me a hockey moment. Well there's also a moment where he's somebody who is it that pulls a gun on somebody and he fully disarms the person. He seems to have Jason Bourne level skills but doesn't ever have the moment a la Jason Bourne where he's like how do I know how to do this?
We've never seen him train for anything, but he's like, bam, bam, bam, bam, now I've got your gun. And I was like, what? How? Let me ask you a question. In the beginning, when they're all chanting Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan, at that point, at that point, is that his first game?
I thought it was his first game. I thought so too, but apparently not. He's like, I guess he's the star. He's the number one or the whatever. I mean, we really cut into that hard. It's like, hey, join me. Never. And by the way, if you're being chased by the cops for street lugeing, take off your pads.
Like, he looks like, there he is, the guy in the knee pads. How does LL Cool J find him? LL Cool J's driving around in a Porsche, opens the doors like, get in. LL Cool J just out for a morning drive in San Francisco. Chris Klein, San Francisco native. My guy, what are you doing? Get in. Come play rollerball in Kazakhstan. Come fucking in a hot sauna.
And when Paul goes out there, I want to hear from people who have fucked in a hot sauna. No, I don't think so. With a female condom. Here's the thing. What I love about Chris Klein is he has a fun delivery. He's like, next time, can we do this in a bed? You know, with sheets and stuff. Yeah, yeah, guy. We know what a bed is. I was so confused. I was so confused.
In that post-coital scene in the hot sauna. Why? Well, she says, Rebecca's like, well, you know, I spoke to one of the TV guys and they showed me that it was a fixed moment and they fixed the play. And then we don't ever get to see where that TV computer is, but it seems like it's in the sauna. I agree. I agree. It's not, but I agree.
It feels like she just walks to another wall. Yeah. And she's like, she minority reports it. Exactly. Enhance. Enhance. Add water to hot rocks. Advance. Enhance. Why would they keep all five cameras? Like, I don't know. Let's go to the crowd. Let's ask the crowd some questions. Oh, boy. Let's see what they have. Be careful, Paul. Providence is no joke.
Look at this house. Gorgeous people. Balcony. What's up, balcony? There they are. I'm out here. I'm here in Kazakhstan with all my rollerblading or my rollerballing pals. What's your name? Ben. Ben, if there was a better title for this movie, what would you maybe give it? I'm putting you on the spot. Chris Klein would kill for good sportsmanship. I like it.
Good sportsmanship, question mark. Okay, what's your question? Can we talk about the boing-oing sound effects? Yes! Yes! I know what it is, but yes, let's talk about it, because I lost my mind. It is, like, it felt like the editor was mad at the director. I believe what...
What it is, is them riding the bike through metal wire and the metal wire breaking causes that sound to actually kind of happen. And so I was like, oh, but did they juice it up because it's so forward in the mix that I was like, I can't even barely see that you're driving through a fence in night vision. And do you think you're helping me understand by adding this sound?
Because if I wanted to enjoy the movie more, add this sound, add Looney Tunes sounds throughout. When Chris Klein sees Rebecca Romijn, he should be like, ah-oo-ga, ah-oo-ga. I will say when the big man gets hurt and gets that ball smashed into his face, I thought the birds around his head was very tasteful. And the big lump, ooh.
All right, so I'm here with somebody, a two-timer, someone seen last night's show and tonight's show. Amazing. Thank you for coming back. That's right, that's right. Wait, did they ask, do you recognize them?
Yes, I do, Jason, because I make eye contact with every member of the audience. Impressive. I'm impressed. Now, what is your name and your question? My name is Caroline. My question is, after a peruse through Wikipedia, it says it takes place in 2005. Yes! Fuck you! Fuck!
Ew! Wait, so they placed this movie like three years in the future?
So my question about that is, so the original came out in the 70s, takes place in 2018. What is the point of jumping it three years if you're trying to make a dystopian future claim in any way, just keep it the same year? I mean, I guess a lot can happen in three years. I have a feeling it was directly related to the budget. Although the budget was enough to afford... But also, if I...
If I'm saying, I think they couldn't set it too far into the future because they wanted to have Slipknot and rap rock, and they wanted the vibe to be all of that contemporary, what was popular. Well, they didn't want to wreck the suspension of disbelief like, oh, Pink.
isn't that old in the future. Like, we can't keep her that young because they'd have to spend all that money on aging her up with makeup. Wait, can I ask you a question, Paul? And forgive me if you don't know the answer, but one of these nerds will. When this movie is made, you said 2002, had any Fast and Furious come out yet? One? Two?
Yes. Well, this is the time of Triple X. This is the time of extreme sports in movies. We were like, yes, more Dan Cortez, more Rockin' Jock. Let's do it. It feels like they were trying to make this an extreme sport version of whatever the fuck, of roller derby nonsense, and make it extreme, but then also with the car racing and all the fucking nonsense. It felt like all
amped up like that kind of garbage. I do think, you know, there's something interesting with the stakes of this sport. Like, knowing, and they say it a few times in the movie, if you enter that rink, like, you might be paralyzed.
For sure. You know, like there's such a risk of spinal injury that they set up. But it's not like it's a kumite. It's not like it's a, you know, certain death. Not at all. Either submit or die or whatever. This is a sport. You might have a serious spinal injury. Yeah. But isn't that football? Like, didn't you expect, didn't you expect to look up in the boxes where John Renaud was and Taylor Swift would be up there?
Because she's dating Jonathan Cross now? And she's like, Jonathan! Jonathan! Jonathan! And then two years from now, she puts out a song about Jonathan? Oh my gosh. You wore so many pads. You're right. You wore so many pads that kept me away from you. Your helmet was so thick. Yeah.
I love that you're writing lyrics from the audience. Look, I mean, she's a wordsmith. I'm trying to figure out the best way. I couldn't have my heart. I couldn't put an armadillo around my heart. Yeah, there's something there. There's an invisible motorcycle that kept you running defense while I was trying to get offense. Anyway, we'll figure it out. You skated into my heart.
Your love is a rabbit hole. Here's what I... Here's what I'd like... Loose, loose, loose. I lost my lover. I would like for a series of Taylor Swift feats.
or influenced rollerball second opinions, not, I guess, tonight or in the future or... Yes, when this comes out, we are going to throw down the gauntlet. On last looks, please send us... That's what I mean. If Taylor Swift was dating Jonathan and they broke up, what would that song be? And I don't think that Taylor and Travis are going to break up. I feel like they're in it for the long term. All right, so... I agree. All right. Wait, you both think
Paul and I love their love. I love their love. I'm happy to say it is doomed. We love it. And I love it. I love it. I know a lot more about Taylor Swift lately, and I'll say this. Her last relationship was six plus years, so she's capable of that long relationship. I'm excited. I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled.
It's given us a real boost. Yeah, we need it. Yep. All right. Your name and your question. Hi, my name is Molly, and my question is, Chris Klein never hooks his helmet. Thank you, Molly. His helmet is always hanging there, but everybody else has...
helmet flies off and has mayhem and his helmet always stays on. And it's never clipped. It's never clipped. We have two people with the same question. You both stand up. Share the mic. Share the mic because you both have the same question. In the first rollerball game, Chris Klein is very upset that the man is smashed in the face and his helmet
Helmet is cut, yet he is not strapping his helmet on. Why? Okay. I don't understand. Hey, Rhode Island, we know. Paul, walk away. They're coming in hot. We're blaming you. Paul, be careful out there. We didn't put it on. We didn't make it. Why are you so mad at us? We agree it's in my notes, too. Why doesn't he clip his helmet?
Your name and your question. My name is Britt. Is LL Cool J an accountant? Yes. Great question. Yes, he is. That's one of the sort of running storylines, which is that he could have, he's misunderstood. Someone asks if his mom is a crack whore. She says he's a pediatrician. He says she's a pediatrician. So that is something, it's not developed enough to make anything of it.
But it seems that there's something there. By the way, LL Cool J says, like, hey, you think I can fuck girls being an accountant? But then we reveal later he's got a wife and kids. Yeah. Yeah. Tough. Listen, what happens at Rollerball stays at Rollerball. You know what I mean? But now I am in the balcony with my balcony monsters. All right. Your name and your questions.
My name is Jonathan, actually. Jonathan! Jonathan! Jonathan! Jonathan! Okay, and your question? Speaking of the ratings, what sort... Do you mean the global instant ratings? Or what is it called? The global instant ratings? Instant! We don't have that now! Which also, because the movie took place in the future.
That was my question. What form of rating system just automatically goes up the moment somebody gets hit? What is the technology there? How?
It's technology that could only exist in 2005. I will say this. The one thing that I am so amazed of, and maybe I'm speaking out of school, but there was a Heather Graham show, an hour-long show, and the ratings are so bad that it was canceled after the first commercial break. Don't look it up, but I'm pretty sure I'm not lying.
But yeah, I think they can get some ratings right away. They can see who turned off. But it seems like the ratings are pretty high. Why does he need that North American contract? I mean, unless that's low ratings. But a 20 share is pretty high. I was going to say they've got 19, they've got 20. They're climbing up. I mean, that is, by the end of it, they're getting into like mash numbers. It is interesting that at one point it does seem like hockey is sort of being introduced now.
Where there's like some sort of a disc or a stick becomes a weapon? At the very end when things get really chaotic. That item they had, it seemed like it was like sharpened and it was like a slashing thing. But I couldn't tell what was it itself. No idea. It was a lacrosse stick? It's not normally a part of rollerball, right? It's always there? Wow. I feel like that would be a real advantage. What is rollerball?
To have a lacrosse stick would be a real advantage. I know. Well, I mean, I think the motorcycle is a pretty big advantage, too. Yeah. When you are just rollerblading around. The thing about professional hockey that always makes me laugh is that penalty box. Yeah.
Fox in the box. And there is a fox in the box in this movie, but I'm like, that's real in real life in a professional sport. Occasionally people are put in a penalty box. A timeout. And have to sit there and watch the rest of the game. Grown men are given a timeout. Grown men. And they don't get to sit with the rest of their teammates. I don't know why. They have to sit in a special little box.
And every time I see, we went to a Rangers game a few years ago and it just makes me laugh so hard to see them sitting there.
and waiting until they can get out of that box. Oh, God, it's funny. We need more penalty boxes. I think adults being put in timeout in a public way is great. It's so funny. It's so funny. Absolutely. There should be public penalty boxes that people can just be placed in. You make an inappropriate comment at work, dead penalty box. Honestly, I want a penalty box in this theater. Anytime someone does something a little wrong...
They gotta go sit there. Sit in the box. Two minutes. Think about it. We all need a break. And then I like when they then cut to the penalty box. And it's like, and in the shame box. It's so funny. Oh my God. Obviously, we have issues with this movie, but there are people out there that think this movie is perfect. They think that Rollerball is a great movie. So now it's time to hear from them. It is now time for Second Opinions. My name's Francis. I'm going to Central Asia.
I'm gonna play this crazy game. I just wanna play hockey, but I need a quick payday. Rollerball is a bloody hobby. You might call me insane, but I've got a blank face, baby. And Chris Klein's my name. Yo! No, it's Francis! Did you just come out? Francis, get back! He's walking away! Francis! He's walking away! Just go home! It's over! Black it out! The show's best hit! Wow!
Wow. Rollerball on Amazon has 498 reviews. 69% are five stars. Come on. Come on. Average rating. 69. 69. Providence is like, yeah. The writer of this review is named Jeff, but it's J-E-F-7 is how he spells it. Jeff.
All right, so here we go. This was written in 2016. So recently-ish in conjunction to this movie. I like this movie due to the actors. LL, Chris, Raman Stavos. I may have gotten her name wrong. Can I just... Raman Stavos? Raman Stavos. Raman Stavos. Raman Stavos. You're saying Adele Dazeem?
LL, Chris, and Ramen Stavos. Okay, that's the t-shirt. LL and Chris and Ramen Stavos. It's pretty good. Ramen Stavos sounds, I will say, delicious. Although, I'm pretty hungry. Greek Chinese. Is there late night food in Providence? That's good to hear. I'm hearing yes. Oh, man. All right.
LL Chris and Raman Stavos, I may have gotten her name wrong. The players are the good guys while the owners see them as nothing more than dirt. Your knee hurts, you're traded or vanished. Very popular, you're dead if you will not conform. This movie is about conformity or banishment. Of course, the choice you make is not necessarily yours.
Good entertainment value. Just my opinion. Five stars. The title? Take that. Adani writes, top ten movie, even if it's just for the soundtrack. One of my favorite movies because of the soundtrack. This is a great film. If you haven't seen it, you need to. If you see it on TV, you'll need to get it here. The cut scenes are worth it. You gotta see the whole thing. And you need to see it again just for the soundtrack.
Well, get ready because this reviewer's name is I am not a professional credit and wouldn't want to be one. That's the name of the reviewer. I am not a professional credit and wouldn't want to be one. Do you think that's supposed to be critic? I think so. And you'll see more in a second. By the way, I apologize for jumping because that seems like where it's going. The title is
A movies or B movies or TV show. My criteria for movies or TVs are: Did it entertain me? Yes or no. That's the title of the review. The review. Yes, this movie entertained me. Five stars. Now, I often don't do this, but we go to first opinions. And I bring this up for a reason.
Kay Butterfield writes, title, Nudity Review. This is rated PG-13, but there is full-on nudity. We turned it off, and we did not finish watching it. One star. So then we researched a little bit more. Molly Reynolds went and researched it a little bit more, and we found this, Jason. This is for you. A review of Bosh by the same person. Let's go!
Also one star. Language is ridiculous. Cannot believe that such harsh language is used. It is not real. It was very offended. I was very offended by the amount and types of language used. I love the books, and I know he's a crusty old cop, but this is ridiculous. I will not watch any more episodes. I couldn't even finish the first one. One star.
For Bosh. What the fool? That's absurd. Bosh's language, that's, I vehemently disagree with that review. With the previous review, because one of my favorite things was all the boobs in the movie. Give me more boobs. I'm boobs in the movie, please. Especially when you're working out where they naturally are just out.
Wait, can I just say one more thing? Just because boobs reminded me of it and I had it in my notes. It always makes me laugh so hard. And out of curiosity, you didn't happen to pull any of the footage from the nightclub party dance club they go to? Okay, so after the first rollerball game, they jump in Fast and Furious cars. They race through the streets. They go to a nightclub and the nightclub is full.
full-on movie nonsense nightclub. There's nude people, there's craziness, there's chaos, blah, blah, blah, and thumping music. And I was like, it always makes me laugh to remember that in order to shoot this scene, it was dead silence. Dead dozens and dozens of naked people, people partying, and in the movie, it's like...
Like terrible dance music. But day of, it was just LL and Chris Klein talking and silence. It is the funniest thing. When you ever have to shoot those scenes, it's so eerie. Because everyone's like... Because it's like, okay, and background and action. And everybody's...
And then you're like, I don't know, where are we going? And everybody has to do pantomime-like nonsense. Like, think about that in a John Wick movie when he goes to those cool parties. It's like, silent. All right, well, I guess the question is this. Would you recommend this movie? I'm going to say this. I'm going to recommend the James Caan rollerball. Okay. Okay.
If you're going to watch a rollerball, watch that rollerball. Now, watch this rollerball if you really want to go out of your mind, but that's my rollerball. Yeah, I have to say, after watching this rollerball, I am interested in the original rollerball. Well, let's not get crazy.
Even interest. Yeah, so I guess that's something. The fact that I've now seen two rollerballs is depressing. I will talk about it in therapy this week. Yeah, this one was a real head-scratcher. Although, I will say, it went, again, this is day two of this fall tour, this fall How This Get Made tour. So, yeah. Anybody coming to every show? Okay. All right. Great. Awesome. That's a no. Got it. Message received.
It's day two, so as this week goes on, we will become more and more mentally deranged. Yes. And so I'm starting to feel that happen already with this movie where I'm like, I think it went down easily for me. I did watch it in real speed. Yes. And I can report that it's watchable. Well, I would argue it's because there's limited plot.
three giant rollerball scenes, which I would say of the hour and 38 minutes accounts for about an hour? I was going to say 45, 50 minutes. But here's what I'm going to say to echo your point and kind of really hit it on the head, which is
Imagine if this movie hadn't been directed by John McTiernan, like a master of action. Yeah. All of those action scenes, you still, you kind of know what's going, it's well directed. It looks good in that sense. You kind of know who you're meant to be following, who's being bad to who. All the geography of it lines up. Imagine if it was directed so poorly that you were like, what the fuck is, who is what? What is up? Yes.
And again, again, I laughed so hard when the night vision came on. I can't express what a laugh I had. And it was just really, it was quite funny. I'm going to say you can take a pass, but let's go to the audience. Would you recommend it, audience? That's a resounding no. I guess I should do it like this. Who would recommend it? Who would not recommend it? It's pretty much just the... The recommends are like five dudes in the front row who are like, yeah!
Jude and Diane Rambeau. I am Paul Shearer. Beth Thomas in the back. Thanks so much for coming on on a Thursday. We love you. Good night. Eat shit, Rhode Island. That's the show. What a great show. Thank you to the staff at the Vets, our amazing tour manager, Beth Thomas, and all of you in Providence who made it such a great time. People, if you want to see us on the road, you can. February 3rd
in San Francisco as we are doing Samurai Cop. That's right, we've never done it, and we're doing it for the first time in San Francisco. Tickets are still available February 3rd. Then we're going to be heading across the pond to London, Glasgow, Belfast, and Dublin from March 28th to April 3rd. London is seats away from being sold out. Both shows, Dublin is sold out. So get your tickets for Glasgow and Belfast ASAP. And just so you know,
All of this you can find on hdtgm.com. And while you're there, why don't you pre-order my book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma. It is a collection of stories from my childhood that you might have heard on How Did This Get Made, but brand new ones, truly brand new ones. I love this book. You can get it as an ebook, you can get it as an audiobook, which I'll be narrating. And if you pre-order it, it really, really helps me. And I'm
Keep your receipt because pre-orderers are going to get something very cool. Now, if you want to get your own Rollerball live show shirt, you can just go to tpublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM and you can get our shirt that says Rollerballed.
Rollerbald is the shirt. I love it. It's a great sticker. Get on it. And if you have any corrections and or omissions for this episode, I want to know about it. Go to our Discord at discord.gg slash HDTGM or leave me a voicemail at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. That's 619-Paul-Ask. Then make sure you tune into next week to hear our last looks follow-up episode and hear me respond to your messages. Plus, Jason and I, we're going to have our live chat.
or a pre-recorded chat with Moshe Kasher. And as always, we will announce our next movie. I can't wait. You can always find us online at hdtgm.com. And if you love the show, please tell your friends and write a review because it really does help. But really, word of mouth is the best way
to get the word out. And last but not least, I have to say thank you to all of our listeners who support this show every week and our entire behind-the-scenes team who keep this show running. I'm talking about our producers, Scott Sonney, Molly Reynolds, our movie-picking producer, Avril Haley, our associate producer, Jess Cisneros, and our engineers, Casey Holford and Rich Garcia. That's all I got. See you next week on Last Looks. Bye for now. I'm just gonna be here alone
There are a lot of reasons some people choose cannabis. Whether you're tapping into your creative side or just trying to relax, the one thing weed won't do is make it any more safe or legal to drive afterwards. It can slow reaction times, for example, and if you thought a few eye drops helped you get away with it, know that people can tell when you've been smoking marijuana, including law enforcement. If you feel different, you drive different. Drive high. Get a DUI.
Every sandwich has bread, every burger has a bun, but these warm, golden, smooth steamed buns? These are special. Reserved for the very best. The Filet-O-Fish. And you. You can have them too.
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