Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
How long have these meal kits been in my fridge? One week? Two? How much am I spending on these? Hey, Erica.
Did my subscription go up? When your questions about life turn into questions about money, there's Erica, the virtual financial assistant to help you spend, save, and plan smarter. Only from Bank of America. What would you like the power to do? Erica is only available in the English language. You must download the latest version of the mobile banking app only available on select mobile devices. Your chat may be recorded and monitored for quality assurance. Message and data rates and additional terms may apply. Bank of America and a member FDIC.
Hey, everybody. Just wanted to give you a quick heads up here. There's something we should all be doing. It's going to improve your life, make every day a little bit better. And that is eat more Reese's peanut butter cups. Yes. Think about it. All the gurus, all the coaches out there, they've never said the words eat more Reese's peanut butter cups.
Eat more Reese's. I mean, that combination of sweet chocolate and salty peanut butter. I mean, this is something that brings other people and ourselves joy. That's why there's two in a pack. Shop Reese's peanut butter cups now at a store near you, found wherever candy is sold, and often in my pantry because I love these.
Hey, everybody. Sweater weather is over and sweaty weather has begun. And that's why you need a pair of Bombas socks because they are a premium extra long staple cotton sock that feels light on your feet all summer long. I love my Bombas. Why? Because they support my arch. So get ready to get comfy and give back. Head over to Bombas.com slash bonkers. Use the code bonkers for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-O-N-K-E-R-S.
bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Hello, people of Earth. It's me, Paul Scheer, with a very special announcement. For years, you've been asking me, Paul, when are we going to get more childhood stories? You should write them down. And you know what? I did. I wrote down my stories and I have a damn book. It is called Joyful Recollections of Trauma. It is coming out in May, but
It is available for pre-order right now. And actually, that's more important. Pre-order is huge in the publishing world. I would love it if you'd be so inclined to get an audiobook, an e-book, wherever books are sold. But I'll tell you this much. If you go to one of the links on any of our social media sites, you will see that Amazon right now is running a deal for $14.99. And here's the thing.
Because it's a pre-order, I'm going to give back something very cool. I've actually invested a lot of money, my own money. I'm not making any money on this, but I've invested some money on trying to make a very cool thing for everybody who pre-orders the book. It's going to have like a website component and there's actually going to be something that is going to be mailed to your house. I'll get into that a lot later, but Joyful Recollections of Trauma is
It is available for pre-order wherever you get your books, your eBooks, whatever. It's coming out from HarperCollins. Thank you guys for giving me this push. And you know what? I'll say thank you in person in February in San Diego and San Francisco, where we just announced two.
two brand new shows. That's right, February 3rd and 4th. We're going back to San Fran. And then we are finally going back to San Diego, which we haven't done since Top Dog. Oh, the ill-fated Top Dog. Go to hdtgm.com for tickets and info. Movies will be announced soon. And guess what? London tour, UK tour, we're adding more dates. Thank you guys for buying tickets. Everywhere in London, it's been amazing. UK, Dublin, UK,
You guys are bringing it. We thank you. All the information is on there at hdtgm.com. We'll see you on the road. And thank you once again for pushing me to write this book. And I would love it if you could pre-order it. Like the mermaid always says. We saw the king's daughter. So you know what that means. I didn't force any belly rock and roll. Snow best rapper.
♪♪ ♪♪
We are here today to talk about the 2022 film, The King's Daughter. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned and I told too many people to watch this movie. But you don't have to watch this movie. If you want to know the plot, well, I'll say The King's Daughter is a deceptive title.
It should be called The King Who Wants to Filet a Mermaid. Because that's the premise. A king wants to kill a mermaid. Mermaid Killer would have been a better title, I think. Yes, he does have a daughter. We'll get into it all tonight here on the show. But before I can break it down any more for you, let me introduce my co-host. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Jason Manzoukas! What? Poor Lin-Manuel!
That's right! We're getting started because we were at Rennie's buying Carhartt shit. That's right! Rennie! Let's go to Rennie! I will tell you, Jason. We have chocolate to buy. Jason. Paul. The king's daughter. Is it? I took so many notes. The most notes I've ever taken. And was looking at them just prior and was like, I don't know what any of this means. I don't know if these are notes from the movie.
This, I mean, just, I mean, over and over in my notes, I did write, remember, these people are French. Oh, that's really good. Because it's a cast of Americans, Brits, and Australians. Fuck this movie. I wanted to ask you about that, but I'll save my big question, which was, isn't Pierce Brosnan supposed to be French? So much so that I... Wait, the actor? No.
Or his character. His character, King Louis XIV. They're all supposed to be friends. I know, but I look. Paul, did you not know this was about France? I thought. He kept saying, for France. I know, but I thought. Wait a second. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
I can't wait any longer. So sorry, June. I didn't want to get into it. I can't talk about, I cannot stand back there and hear you talk about the accents and not get out here on stage with my friends. Well, first of all, let me say, how are you, June? I'm okay. I'm glad to hear it. And yes, so this movie messed me up so much that I literally Googled
Louis XIV. I was like, maybe I'm confused. Wait, so did you not see, like, Versailles? Well, I know it's Versailles. I know he's the king of France. But I thought maybe something happened in French history for a little bit. With the mermaids? Where you were like, oh, wait. So you went to the history text to be like, when did the king of France get a mermaid? Wow.
When did the King of France hire a guy from not Lord of the Rings to go and get a mermaid? I've got to tell you, there was a point where I was like... Not Faramir. There was a moment where I did almost Google King Louis XIV mermaids just to see what would come up. But my Google search, I know I'm on many lists, many watch lists because of what I'm Googling because of this podcast. But...
I did at one point think, is there any historical context to this motion picture? Here's what I'll say. I do think that... Was he fascinated by mermaids? Was there an obsession with them? I think the only thing that you really understand to be absolute truth is at the end when they discover Atlantis.
That we know is true. I have to tell you something, though. When they casually swim to Atlantis. Honestly, it's the best ending for a movie I've ever seen. Better than Aquaman. When I tell you, Jason and Paul, that for, I want to say, because the vast majority of the movie, I thought, but that's the doctor, right? Yes, yes. And that's the merchant. You mean Pablo Schreiber-Liev's brother? I thought they were the same person. Oh, okay.
I was confused that the love interest or the evil love interest and the doctor were the same person. Arguably should have been the same person. The movie would have been cleaner. The movie is cluttered with people. As if to say we are able to shoot at Versailles, so we got to fill this screen with people. Cluttered with white people, one black person.
And I want to see her story because, wow. That's the more interesting movie. There's so many things to get into. Let me just go back and say, yes, the movie ends in Atlantis. Digest that. Now, what I forgot when the movie ended in Atlantis was the first scene.
on the screen in the beginning of the movie was... The words? The words was, Louis XIV is obsessed with finding Atlantis.
That was never said by a character. That was never alluded to. That was never in the movie. The movie is bookended by Atlantis, and that's it. And not only that, I feel like there are so many breadcrumbs, or not even breadcrumbs, there are so many ways to figure out that this movie was, you said, as you said, Paul, came out in 2022. Wow.
in the year of our Lord, 2014. Eight years on the shelf. So there's so many things that tell you that this is a troubled production or a troubled film. One of which is there is both words at the beginning, like a crawl at the beginning that gives you an exposition dump. Then at the beginning and end are needless voiceover. Like also,
Also, Exhibition. And don't forget, there's a book where pictures turn into real-life action scenes. Sometimes I thought that book was passing too many pages. I'm like, slow down. We're missing plot. Well, that's the other thing that's a problem. Every scene is like 30 seconds long. This is like a bedtime story told to you by a drunk relative. It's like, I'm the mermaid. Oh, wait, wait, I forgot. I forgot Atlantis. Paul, is this a story that you're about to tell?
That would be too normal for my family life. When I tell you, I thought, okay, we're watching a movie. When I sat down on the airplane this morning from Los Angeles, I thought, okay, we're watching a movie called The King's Daughter. I was ready for some palace romance. I was ready for comedy of manners. I was ready for something Princess Diaries-esque. Yes. What I was not ready for.
was a tale about mermaids. A tale about killing mermaids. Killing mermaids.
And looking at so many medical drawings of the intestines of a mermaid. That I couldn't have imagined when I saw the title of this film. The drawing that is the doctor with the scalpel? Who's drawing a picture of the doctor? If you draw something, it is the anatomy of the thing. But the mermaid is just, you're seeing it from the side and it's like, guess who's the most important?
That is the oddest drawing in the movie because it's a giant piece of rolled up parchment that she finds placed on the floor. It's like, when would you ever take that out to show anyone? Like, and this is what I'm going to do. Knife belly. Like it was not over. I had so many questions about the doctor who's also the rich merchant doctor.
I was like, what? Now, this doctor has the mermaid in that little area, that little... The grotto. The grotto. Which I think is where they get their drinking water. Which they're drinking mermaid shit. He seems to report that everything's looking great. All the organs are looking great.
eternal, you know, her eternal heartbeat or whatever that is. All, everything is sort of checking out. And I'm like, how do you know this? Yeah. What are the procedures? What are the protocols? What are the checklists you're going through? He's talking about books. Like, look at this. This is the scene three here of Beth. Scene three. Listen to the assured nature in which he presents nonsense. Oh, wait a minute. It's based on a book?
Pause it. Not only is it based on a book, this book won the Nebula Award, which kicked Game of Thrones out of... It's like, when Game of Thrones came out, this book won the award of the best sci-fi book. So there you go. Okay, out of curiosity, is it possible, and I hesitate to do this, did anybody here read the book? Is there a book fan here that can speak for the book? Oh, there's one right there. Only one. Two. Two? Two.
In the book, they eat the mermaid? Hold on. I need to get out there. Yeah. Ask her, Paul. Ask her if... Paul, be so careful, Paul. Oh, thank you. Ask her if he gets eternal life. Where are you? Where are you? Okay. You read the book. Okay. I didn't read the book. Oh, well, I'll walk away. All right. All right. All right. You read the summary of the book. Okay. Did you read the book? All right. I want to go to the read the book person. I mean...
We can't be giving out special awards for Wikipedia entries here. Alright, you read the book. Okay. Tell us a little bit about the book. It was a lot. Is this a faithful adaptation? No. No way. Do they in fact eat the mermaid? They try to. That's the point. And what happens? They escape. But, oh God, it's been a while.
I'm going to go back to summary. Go back to the summary person. Great job. Summary might know it a little bit better. I feel like them eating the mermaid would have made this movie so much better if when they cut back to Pablo Schreiber, again, Liev's brother, if instead he was making an olive oil lemon capers, if he was just going to cook her up.
All right, so what do you remember from the summary? Well, I read it today at work. The king tried to eat the mermaid for eternal life because in the book they wanted to cut the heart out and the eclipse and everything. That didn't happen. It didn't happen. But the one thing I noticed about the movie, and I want to say this to June because we're the same age, are the dresses for Macy's at the end. Yeah.
She kind of snuck in like I know something to sneak in like a question for you. Wow. We are not asking questions yet.
Yeah, there were a couple of like, listen, when I was growing up, I grew up in the time, I guess, as did you, of like Jessica McClintock prom dresses, which to me, I was like, there's nothing finer. There's nothing more beautiful. There's no fashion except for Jessica McClintock dresses. And that's what they reminded me of. They're very off the rack in this movie. And you certainly can tell, but I liked her wedding dress.
I would say that historians might say to you that they are so historically inaccurate, and one of the ways that you can find out that is that there's a lot of zippers showing. Not too many zippers at the time of Louis XIV. The other thing that bumps a little bit is, once again, none of these people are French.
And they are aggressively not French. They're not French, but I will say everybody in the movie does adapt and adopt some sort of an accent. Some sort of an accent, but not a French accent. I thought that William Hurt was trying something. And it's, I know it.
also as somebody who acts when you're not fully confident I'm gonna just if I try it subtly maybe you can't tell or maybe it's perfect and I feel like it was underneath I was like
I'm talking a little French, but not going to push it. Like, it was just very... Yes, he slowed it all down a little bit, so you couldn't quite tell where he was from. Yes, I love Paris. That's also, by the way, Pierce Brosnan, too. Like, they're all doing weird... I want to say something about Pierce Brosnan's performance. I think this is one of his best performances. He's free! He's free on this
Look at him. On the screen. He struts like Mick Jagger. I loved it. He needs that Fabio wig in every performance. I would have. I want James Bond in that Fabio wig. I loved it. I'm all about a movie about like a carousing King of France played by Pierce Brosnan. This isn't that movie. This movie is weirdly also the shape of water. What?
But is also... That's one of my favorite movies. Also Princess Diaries. I told you that. That's one of your favorite movies. Shape of Water, Sally Hawkins, her performance, everything about that. That's one of my favorite movies. I've never heard you talk about that movie. I love that movie. It's Who I Am is that movie. So if you don't know that about me, you know nothing.
Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I love Squarespace. I'm in the middle of trying to balance my business life and my real life. This work-life balance, it's tough. But Squarespace has been helping me by giving me the tools to reach my goals and have time to celebrate. That's right, Squarespace is the all-in-one
website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. With the guided design system of Squarespace Blueprint, you can select from curated layouts to styling options optimized for every device. Get your website discovered fast with integrated optimized SEO tools. Plus, make checkout easy for customers with easy-to-use payment tools. You can accept credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay. Plus, with Squarespace AI, you can explain what your site is about. You choose your tone and enter what you need to get auto-generated results.
Perfect text. Anyway, I love Squarespace. I've been building sites with them from the beginning. And when I launched my book, I said I'm doing it all myself on Squarespace. And I'm very pleased with it. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash bonkers to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help you find the right professionals for your team faster and for free. LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else, even those who aren't actively searching. 70% of users don't visit other leading job sites. If you're not looking on LinkedIn...
You're looking in the wrong place. LinkedIn knows that small businesses might not have the time or resources, so they're constantly finding ways to make the process easier.
86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. They even just launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, making the process even easier and quicker. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash valuable. That's linkedin.com slash valuable to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply.
Have you ever browsed an incognito mode? You probably think, oh, wow, that's safe. It's not. Not as safe as you think. In fact, all of your online activity is still 100% visible to a ton of third parties unless you use ExpressVPN. ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers so third parties can
can't see your browsing history. And it is so easy to use. Fire up the app and click one button to get protected. It works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets, and more. ExpressVPN is rated number one by top tech reviewers like CNET and The Verge.
And I got to tell you, whenever I connect to public Wi-Fi at a coffee shop or at the airport, I always use ExpressVPN because you never know how secure a public network is. And I feel so much more at ease knowing that I'm not being tracked. So protect your online privacy today by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash HDTGM. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash HDTGM. And you can get an extra three months free. ExpressVPN.com slash HDTGM.
Alright, let's just hear the exposition from this scene. Here we go. Fantastic news, your majesty. Delacroix's ship sails for home in possession of the miraculous cargo.
The coming eclipse is perfect timing. The books are clear about these matters and specify that the creature must be sacrificed right as the moon passes in front of the sun in order to transfer its gift of eternal life. Perhaps we should withhold our glee, Dr. Labarthe, until we have proof that your books are not just fiction. Relax, Father. Surely the doctor wouldn't be risking his reputation on this outlandish claim unless he was feeling very confident of it.
So that is the premise. The mermaid must be killed during an eclipse so he can have eternal life. But that's fine. Sure. That's just fine by me. Where I get lost is that concurrently, the other story that seems pretty much happenstance is that William Hurt has decided to bring his long-lost daughter into the palace just to save
Wait, William Hurt does that? No. I think the king. The king. The king says I want a new composer, but he also wants money. Since when is she the best composer? No idea. We never hear her make music in that convent. We heard that because she went into the unholy sea, which seemed to be a little addendum to religion that I was not aware of.
Like, don't go swimming. The devil lives in the water. Okay, sure. But that was odd to go. And we broke your cello. Can I ask you a question, though? Do you think that they were telling her don't go into the sea because she's part mermaid? Is she?
I think the movie is trying to tell us she is part mermaid because she can hear the song. She knows it's a song. So then Pierce Brosnan fucked a mermaid at some point. So she's half mermaid. I think Pierce Brosnan is out there fucking whatever comes along. We do know that about him. Including mermaids, whatever. Oh, why is my bed so wet? Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
I fucked a salmon last night. Remember? No, no, no, no. Tuna. You know? Remember? I mean, William Hurt comes in every morning to absolve him of his sins and he's like, I fucked Mrs. Who's-a-ma-goosey last night and
I guess I'll say a prayer and be cool now. Oh, a thousand percent. Like every woman in the court is his daughter. Like every single woman there. My favorite thing, you said that, you know, they shot in Versailles. They shot this movie in Versailles for three months. That's crazy. Three months. It seems like while Versailles is this amazing location, they could only afford about six extras and they only put them as couples. And the same couples are like, hmm. Hmm.
Like, they're always... These are the most judgmental people I've ever met. And they're always the same three couples. She is...
Apparently, we've only seen her ride horses and swim in the ocean, but is so competent a musical performer and composer that she is hired to be the king's composer. Even though she is his daughter, she does not know. He does. But the king's composer's main job appears to be play music for him outside his window in the morning like a human alarm clock. Human alarm clock. I honestly was like, wow, that would be great.
I just didn't understand these two different storylines that were, had nothing to do with each other. Three! Because it's the king needs a composer, the king needs a daughter to marry the rich guy so they get more money in the treasury, and the king needs to kill a mermaid. Those are the three concurrent plots. But then the movie does a weird thing, which is like, we know she's the daughter of
He knows she's the daughter. She doesn't know. But she doesn't know, but the father knows. Then they reveal it, and it's like, well, that's not really a twist for anybody. We all are in on it. The movie is called The King's Daughter. Yeah, we are aware. So I spent the first half of the movie because they weren't acting like father and daughter at all. And in fact, they were acting as if they were love interests.
I did not like that Walt scene. That dancing scene, I was like, this is too charged for my liking. And I felt, by the way, better chemistry than any other couple in the whole movie. Except for, except for her and the mermaid. Because of what?
At one point I was like, oh, she's a lesbian. This is sapphic. She's ending up with this mermaid and I'm here for it. Can I say something that you may already know, so forgive me, but may blow your mind otherwise? She, after making this movie, marries Not Lord of the Rings, the sailor. They are falling in love during this movie. Their first kiss. Now you call him Not Lord of the Rings. I call him Captain Jack Boring. Captain Jack Boring's better than Not Lord of the Rings. I'm shocked.
Because that scene, my favorite part of the movie was the scene where the mermaid, where she's on the back of the mermaid and they're swimming around. I thought, this is so beautiful. See two women in this love scene together, playfully running around in the water. I've never seen anything like this. I loved it. And then we have to watch her and Captain Jack, what'd you call him? Boring. Boring.
I couldn't believe they dressed him exactly like Johnny Depp. It was really shocking to me. All the costume, none of the charm. I know, but I'm like, this movie's telling me that they have more chemistry than her and the mermaid? That's absurd. I also, and I'm wondering if you ever thought this, I also for a period was like, is the mermaid her mother?
Like, is it possible that her mermaid mother went back to the ocean and has now come back and is reclaiming her? Also, wasn't it weird that nobody, not Captain Jack Boring, not any of the court, not the king's daughter, nobody is at all fazed by the arrival and existence of mermaids.
Not only that, here's the thing. It's whatever, 14 whatever in this movie, right? Fucking mermaids and a solar eclipse? Everybody in this movie would be like, game over, the world is done.
No, it's Versailles. They're doing fun stuff. It's Versailles, baby. It's Versailles. Versailles. It's Versailles. That's the T-shirt. It's Versailles. But it's like, but there are these things that are said, like that opening scene. It's like, who confirms this? Who's written the book, the definitive book about mermaids? And then when they catch that mermaid in the open, they go, throw back the mail. We don't need the mail.
Why? Why not? Where was that also? What are you kidding? And then also, how do you know? It was super dark out. I couldn't tell. I mean, imagine the access you would have to have. You could have another. What? Throw it back. Like it's like a too small fish. What? You're going to cut? You're going to eat the heart of the mermaid and you don't want to like chop a dick off a male mermaid? What?
There's no use for it? Come on, Pablo Schreiber. I found it so strange. They keep on referring to her as being like such a rabble rouser.
When did that happen? She just went swimming. The only thing that we know of this person that's bizarre is she likes swimming. That's it. In the ocean. That's it. And she doesn't even do it weird. Picks off her shoes, goes swimming. And she speaks her mind. She speaks her mind no matter who's asking because you're not supposed to speak up to the king or she keeps getting scolded. But that's, you know, yes, she talks truth to power. I guess. Oh, well.
There's so many things I want to get into. I just want to go back to Versailles because they shot there for three months, like I said, but couldn't they have picked a day that was less windy for the one time everyone was outside? Because there's one scene where everyone's hair is like whipping across their face like...
Everyone's like, ah. It was too windy to shoot that scene. They should have gone back. They should have done something. I just remember that scene laughing so hard. I've never seen wind in a movie that, like, unless it's Twister. Like, you don't see people look uncomfortable on a windy day. And everyone in Versailles were like, well, umbrella. Well, also, there were so many wigs. I mean, and that's where I started to think, oh, they could not afford a rewrite because of all of these wigs.
There were so many wigs. We wrote this scene, oh, we already made the wig, so it's got to be what it was. The wigs have to play. I did really love the fisherman's quarters at Versailles. Do you know if those were actually the sailor's quarters at Versailles? I think that that was not in. I don't think that the teeny tiny lighthouse, like the... I loved it. It was like a My Little Pony lighthouse. Yes.
This is my pretend lighthouse. Like, it's such a pretend... It's so far away from any water. Like, it's like, oh, let's make the fishermen comfortable by building this little baby. It's like when they build, like, weird things on the zoo. It's like, yeah, yeah, you're in the jungle, monkey. Enjoy it. Do you guys remember when her arm was almost amputated? Yes, yes, yes.
Once again, once again, the mermaid heals her broken arm and everybody's like, Michael, a miracle has happened in front of them. And they're like, how soon until this solar eclipse so that I can cut this motherfucking thing open?
And chomped my way into its heart like I'm Edward Cullen trying to get my baby out of its mother's stomach. And listen, I don't know... I don't know about the... No Twilight fans? I don't know about the history of, like, setting casts and, like, you know... There were no casts in the 14th century. Okay, maybe there were no casts, but... And if there are any medical historians here, please raise your hand. I read a summary of it. Okay, so do you...
And I'll get into it one question, but let me ask you first about the wigs. I guess my question is this. You have a broken arm. I know it's the 14th century, but is the next step amputation?
There's no open wound. There's no risk of infection. Why does she have to have that arm amputated? It seemed to me that if the horse trampled her, I would buy amputation. It just seemed like she just put her arm up and hit a branch. She landed wrong. I wish they had amputated her arm. Then she'd gone in the water and it grew back. That would have been a great scene. Like a starfish. Like a fucking starfish. That would have been a great scene. Kaboom.
Wait, let me ask you a question about this. The mermaid song, I know that she can hear it. Isn't whale song only heard underwater? You don't hear whale song above water. I think maybe you could if the whale was shallow enough. Like if the whale is just coasting on the top. Like you can hear dolphin chirps.
I know that, but I'm basing most of my knowledge on Star Trek IV. And I believe Whale's song is only heard underwater. Now, I think you're right. I don't know. That is clear. And maybe it just is that everybody else is hearing those kind of dolphins. Because they're all saying it sounds like a dolphin or whatever like that. But she hears this beautiful song. Oh, it's just we don't hear the lyrics. No.
No, she's... No, no, no, Paul, Paul.
So my understanding is that our heroine, the live person outside of the water, that she is able to interpret what that mermaid is saying. So she not just, she doesn't only hear it, she is able to speak the language of mermaid. Prior to... Because she's translating for everyone. Okay, I thought she was this hearing. I don't know, I don't think so, because, well, here's what I, and I think...
I think the movie is actually just terrible. So I think it's confusing in a way. But I do think, because when we first meet, I might be wrong, but when we first meet the mermaid and they catch it, I think it's making a bunch of whale dolphin sounds. It's only once the king's daughter arrives and her presence that we start to hear it be this mellifluous kind of like... So there is...
There is something about this movie. Because I think what we're drawing the line is going, here's a girl who loves water. She's attracted to water. She needs to get in water. She meets a mermaid. The mermaid's like, you and I, we're together. We're one. Come underwater. You don't need to breathe. Don't explain it. Don't worry about it. Let's go.
And so it does seem like there is no giant payoff to that. He should have fucked a mermaid. I mean, that should have been the... I mean, I think we all agree the movie would have been so much better if the first scene had been Pierce Brosnan fucking a mermaid. If you do that, you only live to 87. Portland, Maine's on board for that. Fuck the mermaid. Rennie's, Rennie's, Rennie's.
I cannot urge you more. Please go to Rennie's before you leave this town. What I really liked in this movie was that they do a stand-up comedy night at dinner. When they are having dinner, the fishermen are doing full-on, like they're doing like Sebastian Maniscalco level. My mom says don't eat the pasta!
Sebastian! They're like, oh, I love you, you commoner. You know, like, they are performing. I've never seen, like, fishermen brought in to entertain during dinner. Like, it's like a real dinner theater there. It's fucking French. That's some French shit.
Also, I loved when the guy was like, when our guy's like, hey, to his buddy, go create a distraction. And his distraction is to walk up to the guy, headbutt him, and run away. What a dumb fucking movie. But then our... And they let them shoot it for... I can't believe they were there. That's crazy. A good thing or a bad thing for a YA movie to say trauma equals greatness. Is this a YA movie? Well, I guess part of it...
Who knows? Yeah, I guess who knows? We've got a maze runner. Who is this movie for? Mermaid Killers? I wrote that too. I wrote numerous times, who is this movie for? What is the plot of this movie? And similar to what you were saying, is it a palace intrigue movie? A romance story? Is it a supernatural mermaid story about the evils of trying to retain power and kill magical beings? Fish out of water? Yeah, quite literally.
Or is it the traditional, the king has a daughter, she doesn't know she's the king's daughter, what's she going to do with that? And it is none of those movies.
The reality is it's not any of those movies. It doesn't execute at all on any level in these movies. It's really quite shocking. And it is a movie at which the end of the movie, the heroine, I believe, tries to commit suicide, assuming that the mermaid will resuscitate her. This was some wild stuff. I was focused on a guy with a musket saying, I got the shot.
I was like, that musket ball's going 15 feet at most. There's no way. And you're shooting off a cliff? Because he must have been like... You knock it out like Neo. Hold on, sire. I'll shoot the mermaid who's 20 feet below the surface. They were so much farther below. I mean, that was what was so great about all those close-ups in that scene where someone's looking up at the cliff and some Pierce Brosnan's looking down. It's like, you're so far.
from each other. You can't communicate a thing. And also, if you've got... And the guys are like, I've got the shot, basically. Right? Like, he's gonna shoot the mermaid all the way down in the water. And the mermaid stays above water like, I'll give you the shot. Why didn't she... She's waiting. She's like, I fucking dare you. I fucking dare you, bro.
Grimace Mugs. Hello Kitty Keychains. Teeny Beanies. For a limited time, your favorite McDonald's collectibles, filled with memories and magic, are now on collectible cups. Get one of six when you order a collector's meal at McDonald's with your choice of 10-piece McNuggets or a Big Mac. Come get your cup.
While you still can. At participating McDonald's for a limited time while supplies last. There are some football feelings you can only get with BetMGM Sportsbook. That's right. Not just the highs, the ohs, or the no, no, no's. It's the feeling that comes with being taken care of every down of the football season. The feeling that comes with getting MGM Rewards benefits or earning bonus bets.
So, whether you're drawing up a same-game parlay in your playbook or betting the over on your favorite team, the BetMGM app is the best place to bet on football. You only get that feeling at BetMGM, the sportsbook born in Vegas, now live across the DMV. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. See BetMGM.com for terms. 21 plus only, DC only, subject to eligibility requirements. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Can we talk about...
Can we just talk about the design of this mermaid? The design of this mermaid. I was very upset about her. It's like the dollar store version of Navi from Avatar. I felt like we could never, what I was really upset about is we could never fully see her. It's like if you're going to do that in a movie where you're not revealing what's in that
Fine. But when we see it, when you give it to us, it better be good. And June, let me just say, she's the reason this whole movie got financed. What do you mean? The mermaid. What? Wait, are you saying that's a real mermaid? I thought she was CGI. Did they cast a real mermaid?
This is a story we will get into. Wait, I really did think she was a CGI character. That's a person? That is a real person. She's the biggest actress in China. Her name is Fan Bingbing. So Fan Bingbing
The reason why this movie was made, right? One of the most expensive... Hang on a second. Are we currently answering the question, how did this get made? Oh, my God. For the first time. I'm so sorry. Is this the final episode of the podcast? Have we reached the end? Well, we now know, and the answer is fan-bing-bing. For that one person on iTunes who's like, well, they didn't really ever answer the question...
She could hear the song. The Chinese film company Kylan Films invested $20.5 million in the movie, making it China's biggest financial contribution to a non-studio film produced outside of China. Now, I will get into Fan Bingbing because you're in for a wild ride.
But I don't want to derail us yet. I just want to talk about this is... I'm really shocked because I thought for sure that she wasn't a person. I did not. Did you think she was a person? Well, I mean, I thought, what do you mean?
I mean, I thought she was fully animated. Oh, well, I mean, her entire body is, but I did think someone was doing the face. I didn't think that either. Yeah, I did think that, but I didn't think that because the rest of the body appears to be a turtle without a shell. Big flipper arms. But I never even got a good look at it. Well, that's it. You never really got a good look at it. It's fucking sea monkeys. It's all sea monkeys, right? Yes, there it is. There it is.
It is like a blurry drawing. It's like one of those things, if I stare at it enough, will like a Mack truck come out in 3D? Here's what it is. If I said to AI, Chagall Mermaid, like it would give me this. Like some nonsense just kind of, this looks sad.
This movie is true dog shit. And also, her face, the way that they scaled her face, I found it to be very distressing. And she's a real person. Look, let's take a look at clip four, riding the mermaid, to see some of the special effects. Now, upon seeing that scene where she rides the mermaid, all I could think is, how deep is this well? Yes. Yes.
This well. And mustn't she be able to escape from it? I mean, it seems like there's plenty of room. Also, it reminds me, because there they are, swimming around the king's daughter and the mermaid. Amongst coral. Yeah, amongst coral, amongst all sorts of stuff. And then she comes out of this and, again, says something that should almost be the thesis of the whole movie, which is, I can breathe underwater.
She can breathe underwater. That is enormous reveal. She should be doing nothing but completely searching for her heritage immediately. She is Atlantean. She is the Submariner's sister. What's happening? I can breathe underwater? But I gotta go play...
cello for the king? But then the ending actually asks more questions because if they do go to Atlantis together, we know that Fan Bing Bing, the mermaid, is married and has child. Well, I don't know if she's married. They have an open... It's very Will Smith, Jada Pinkett. Very open. They don't call each other husband and wife. Well, since she's been captured, he's just been going nuts. Forgive me, Namor, for I have sinned.
But the I feel like she brings her to Atlantis and she's like, oh my god Atlantis And this is like the most special effects. We see the entire movie. Is she ever gonna go back to her land love and boyfriend?
I feel like she's going to do an upstairs-downstairs. Okay. She's going to ride around on the boat with him, and then she's going to jump in the water and swim around. I think she's going to do boats. That's sort of what I felt, too, because he wants to be just on the water. But couldn't the mermaid also give him the special breathe-under-water powers? No. Because William Hearn was like, no. As if, why not?
They can fucking do anything in this piece of shit. I don't know because I don't know that those were powers. I do think that she... I really now, after the last 57 minutes, have come to the conclusion that she's a thousand percent part mermaid.
I believe that too. Without a doubt. I think that is absolutely true. She can breathe underwater. And she understands her language. That is as believable as William Hurt playing a character named Pierre, which I just realized right here. Well, and I will say, and I don't believe the episode has come out, but perhaps it's come out by the time people are listening to this, but we did just cover the Pope's exorcist. Yes.
Now, here is a movie in which an Australian man plays an Italian priest, and we were like, thank God, literally. Because we were absolutely dazzled by it. Even though it was a terrible accent, he was incredible. Everybody in this movie is a goddamn mess when it comes to accents and believability in who they are.
You know what though, except for Pierce Brosnan, I do believe that he is having a great time out there and I felt that that hair really gave him freedom. It's a great looking hair. Now again, for a movie that... Only when I'm seeing this, this picture alone, and I mean this, kind of makes me want Pierce Brosnan to play Trump in something.
It's so funny you say that because I did notice that the whole time in the movie he was very tan. Yes. He was very tan. He's the Sun King. If Pierce Brosnan played Trump in his own voice, it would be amazing. You call me deplorable and I say... Now, I will say we have a lot of...
Inside information, I can read you later on in the episode a letter from a listener who was the tech supervisor of this movie. Who spent the last week talking to all of his friends and collecting all the dirt from the post house. Huge. Huge. Wow.
Thank you to that person. What is a tech supervisor? Well, he'll explain it a little bit. Oh, good. Okay, great. Just because I don't... I'm going to go out to the crowd. I want to talk to the crowd, but I do want to talk about Fan Bingbing. Wow, I have so many minutes. Okay. So Fan Bingbing, huge star...
I really apologize that I thought she was CGI. No, you don't. I mean, I... Well, look, let's be clear. You're not wrong. 97% is CGI. Yes. There's just so much of her that is CGI. I guess that's what it was. You don't really... You would be surprised to be like, oh, that's the biggest actor in the movie.
Like, to go, that's the biggest actor in this movie? Yeah, I just didn't know. That that is the draw. Yeah, it's crazy because she has no real lines and she's barely on camera. But yet they gave this movie $20 million, half of its budget, because she's such a big star. This was a $40 million? $40 million movie. And when you tell me it took three months in Versailles, I'm like, it could have been a week and a half because it didn't seem like they had that many scenes. Okay. Okay.
I will probably mess up some details here, but Fan Bingbing was caught evading paying taxes. And there was a rumor that she faked her death. I know that's not true. That was a rumor. But she disappeared for a year. No one knew where she went. I'm going to say Atlantis. Did they check? She seems to have residencies.
Maybe that was the year she was in the king's prison. She... $97 million of unrecorded tax taxes. So what she was doing was...
saying to China, oh, I only made $1 million on this movie, but then also in America saying, pay me $12. And so she was creating this little scam. She disappeared for a year, came back, put up an apology video, and the reason why they didn't release this movie for eight years is because the tax evasion was so, it brought such shame to her. And China... Tax evasion?
Yes. Oh, that's what held up this movie? Yes. Not that it was dog shit terrible. That's so interesting because I feel like Nicolas Cage has never paid one single tax bill. And they can't wait to get his movies out. Yes.
They basically felt like it would have been, if she didn't have this disgrace on it, they would have done it. So then it lost its studio backing, and there only had one international star, Pierce Brosnan. So it sat on the shelf for eight years because of this tax evasion. Now, later on, I'll get into all the other ins and outs, but Fan Bingbing not paying her taxes is the reason why this movie did not come out in 2015 like scheduled, because this is going to be a big move.
movie in China. I mean, I think I did it justice. Somebody can clarify some details. It's a little sketchy. I went down a lot of wormholes, read a very long Vanity Fair article, which I would just recommend you read because it blew my mind. She has more followers on her Weibo account, and Weibo is like Chinese Twitter than the state of, than Chinese government. That's the only social media I do.
By the way, I've been following you on Weibo. You have so many great things. Follow me. Please follow me. All right, let's go out to the crowd. Let's talk to the crowd. Let's see what they have to say. All right, welcome. What's your name? My name is Andrea. Andrea, what is your question? I'm a children's librarian. Thank you. When I...
When I started working at my small Maine rural library, this film was shelved with the children's movies. Peppa Pig, Sesame Street, etc. I said, I don't know about that. So my boss said that you all can decide if you would like to wang in, should we shelve it with the Peppa Pigs and Sesame Street?
This should be an audience decision because this is for your children of Maine. This is for the children of, you know, this is a big decision. Here's what I'm going to say, and I don't normally support things like this. I think you should burn it.
This movie needs to be banned. I feel comfortable saying this needs to be eradicated. I do think that that's where the marketing is really shady because the font, everything about this, you do think that it's Princess Diaries. I think it's the same font as Princess Diaries. Yes. So I understand the confusion, but to have it next to Peppa Pig, that's unsettling. And also the...
the king's daughter, Kaya, last name I can't pronounce, is from Maze Runner, is a part of like YA movies, is in that world. Well, I will say this. As disturbing as this movie is,
It's no more disturbing than any Thomas the Tank movie I've ever seen. So I would recommend this over Thomas the Tank. Those weirdo trains. I'm doing my best, Thomas. Well, it's not good enough. That's the thing. If you can cut Thomas open and eat his engine...
You are given immortality. You know what I really, my main complaint, honestly my only complaint, is that we didn't get to see the full body of the little mer-baby. Yes. The baby. Oh, the baby. There was a mer-baby in the movie. I loved the mer-baby. That was my favorite character in the whole movie. I thought that was the best character. But we never got to see a little baby tail. I would have killed every single person and mer-person in the movie just for the baby.
All right, your name and your question. My name is Kyle. My question is, in the very erotic dance scene, at the end, he flashes to another woman and they lose their steps. They go out to the well or whatever and he starts talking about this woman from his past and she says, Do I remind you of her? And he says...
No one reminds me of her. And there's an awkward pause. And then he says, until you. That was the scene where I was like, do neither of them have a daughter? And by the way, if this movie had tipped into incest...
Much more interesting to me. Suddenly, I'm on board. Old boy this. Old boy this movie. The statue that they're looking at in the fountain, in one of the Versailles fountains, that was supposed to be her mom, but when we saw the picture of her mom, that statue looked nothing like that. Can you imagine looking at a statue and being like, oh, I know her.
By the way, that scene that you're talking about when they're in that lover's atrium or whatever they're in, also a historical inaccuracy. That was built 60 years after Louis XIV died. So just, yeah. So you're saying the movie is historically inaccurate. I'm curious. I'm curious.
All right, your name, your question. Dre, do we think the fountain was a reference to him keeping the mermaid mother that was left out of the movie? Like he built the fountain for the mother to have her live there with him for a bit. As a mermaid? Do you think he knew the mother was a mermaid?
How could you not know? The mother wasn't... No, the mother wasn't a mermaid. She died in childbirth. Yes, my assumption is the mother was a mermaid but had aerialed herself into some legs and some... Some legs and some land stuff. You know what I mean? She's out there on a land-based rumspringa.
She pounds the king, has a baby, gets sent to the convent. Next thing you know, she's back in the water. The daughter's like, uh-oh, I understand mer language. I love the water, even though I got these legs. I don't know. Well, listen, once I saw that mer baby, I was like, if you're a female mermaid, well, you're a mermaid, I guess, how do they give birth? What's the... What do you think? You think it's like...
I suspect it's like... An egg? I assume it's an egg that they run up on the sand, they bury it in the sand, and they kind of waddle back into the water. That's why it's best to go to Greece. Hey, you guys want to see some pictures of pregnant mermaids? I got a bunch of pictures on my laptop of some pregnant mermaids. Normal Portland, Maine man, give Paul the mic back.
Just come to the back of Remy's. I'll show you some pictures of the pregnant mermaids. It's cool. We'll have a cool, chill time. Did anybody else feel like in the scene when the king's daughter and Captain Jack Boring start making out in the grotto that the mermaid is really creeping on him? They are like finally like, uh, and the mermaid's like, the mermaid POV shots are pervy as fuck.
All right, I have a question here. What's your name and what's your question? My name is Mark. My question is another famous How Did This Get Made movie is Street Fighter, which was Raul Julia's final movie. This movie, because it was released in 2022, is William Hurt's final movie before he died, which is The Greater Tragedy. Wait, are you saying it's his final movie? It's the final movie he pulled on? Wow, really throwing down the gauntlet. Wait, is this also... No, is this the final movie that he released or the final movie he worked on? Really?
Released. Thank God. So this is a question related to, did you realize this was a Kiss of the Spider-Woman related movie? Question? Fair. I will say that both of them, Raul Julia and William Hurt, are giving great performances. I actually like these performances a lot. I did too. Bill Nighy was supposed to be that character, dropped out like a week before the filming started, and then he took over. So he came in,
didn't have time for a French accent and just went with it. - It would've been-- - But Paul, nobody had time for a French accent.
Bill Nye and Pierce Brosnan would have been too much at the same pitch. Agreed. Is my suspicion. I also feel like Bill Nye wouldn't have been a great priest. You would feel like that priest was up to something. Yeah. And also I read that Bill Nye the science guy was also heavily considered. You can't kill mermaids. Mermaids are important for coral. Coral.
Is Adam from the Discord here? Because I think there was a good question. Oh, yeah, great, okay, great. Adam from the Discord. You posted something in the Discord that I thought was an interesting point, but I'll let you take it away. Let's see what you got. First, before that, I want to thank you all for repping Rennie's. I am a Rennie's employee. I work at the one up in Farmington. Thank you. Rennie, Rennie, Rennie, Rennie, Rennie.
Rennies! And go to the back for those dolphin pics. Which Rennies do you work at? Here in town? No, the one in Farmington. I drove like an hour and a half to get here. Thank you. All right. My question was, so Captain Jack Boring says that the mermaid's tail can cut through stone. Why can't it cut through a net or the stone in the grotto?
I don't remember. Wow, that's a great point because I don't remember him saying that it could cut through stone. Yeah, because she was swimming in the grotto and he pulls her out and he says, don't you know that mermaids' tails can cut through stone? Because, you know, she knew that mermaids existed in the first place. I mean, then why did she get captured in a net? She could have gone up, saved her boyfriend by cutting the net.
And then when she's in the grotto, Paul responded to me and he's like, why didn't she just cut through that stone archway or stone barricade that cut her off from the ocean? Agreed. Yeah, no, I agree. It does seem as though she had quite a lot of ability to get away. But maybe she wanted to stay with her daughter? Yeah, maybe she sensed that someone there needed her
And or that if she stuck around, she might be able to creep on two people fingering. All right. I'm going to say this. We've talked a lot about this mermaid. And I think what I'm realizing is she's just a stressed out mom with a newborn. And she's like, you take him.
I need to chill for a little bit in this grotto. So you think this is for her semester abroad in Versailles? This is her postpartum period of like, I just want to be alone in a body of water with a bunch of stones around me. I can't deal with the pressure of Atlantis and you and this baby. I just want to be incarcerated for a small amount of time with one of my best gal pals.
Like, they become best friends for reasons that I don't quite get. Well, because we don't speak Merde. That's why I would love your version of the movie more, where it was more like The Shape of Water, where it was a burgeoning love story rather than just, like, I can hear you. Okay, let's go swim.
Yeah, I really wanted the mermaid to carry her on her back over that big jump across the wall. And for that to be... Because it was so built into the structure of the movie naturally, and it felt like they just bailed on it. Here's my question, and this is a genuine question, and I think the answer is most likely because who cares? Or because it didn't. But...
She facilitates the escape of the mermaid carrying the now unconscious Captain Jack Borey. They, whatever, free willy jump over the divide and are able to get to the water and blah, blah, blah. They escape. Which, by the way, Versailles is very far from the ocean. Is it really? Very. So then my question becomes,
Why doesn't I Can Breathe Underwater King's daughter jump into the water with them and take off for parts unknown? Why does she jump on her horse, ride to the top of a cliff? She gets as far away from the water, which is her absolute how she's escaping. She rides to the top of a cliff. Why? And I'm not going to leave until I get an answer. Until you get an answer.
From you, Portland, Maine. Well, Jason, I'm glad you brought this up. That horse, the biggest horse star in China. Really? One of the biggest horse stars. Everyone wants that horse in the movie. The horse pays its taxes. Now, unfortunately, that horse did not pay the salt lick tax. Oh, no. Because he's been a lot of salt licks. So that's another reason. I'll get into all that in a little bit. But now let's get our second opinion people down here. Our three people get in your line over here.
No, this movie definitely has those kind of plot holes where large elements of stories are cut out. Because that horse riding scene is like...
I'll go back to the palace and figure out this thing. There seems like there was something for her to do there. Yes, there must have been. That's why I feel like there must have been. And that plus how short and clipped every scene felt. It didn't feel like they were getting anywhere or doing anything. There must be so much of this movie that was shot and left. Especially when you said three months in Versailles, that's insane.
I blame it on Julie Andrews. Me too. Should we all start a petition to release all the footage? Release the Snyder cut? Give all the footage to Zack Snyder? I mean, we would be releasing the Sean McNamara cut, and if you know anything about Sean McNamara, you would know that he is the director of Bratz.
The How Did This Get Made movie. Brats! I don't remember it, but I know we did it. Yeah. And also, he was the director of Get Street Smart, a kid's guide to stranger danger. Well, look, obviously, we're never going to come to a conclusion of what was meant, but we will get to people who appreciate this movie differently than us, because now it is time for Second Opinions.
Look at these wigs. Aren't they so neat? Look at this mermaid like a piece of meat. Wouldn't you give it five stars? Five stars for everything. Got a Fabio wig from Pierce Brosnan. Got a mermaid he'll stab through the heart. Unresolved subplots?
It's got 20. But who cares? It's so slow. Wow. When's it our turn to watch a movie on Amazon's freebie? Who gave it five stars? Amazing. We're halfway through. Halfway through an all Little Mermaid section.
And now it's time for Second Opinion. Uh, my name is Pat, and I wish I didn't have a song from Little Mermaid, but I'm sorry I don't. Sorry. I love it. We're furious, Pat. One day I'm swimming with my family as freely as I can get. Pierce Brosnan looks like a deep fake. His priest wants to suck his dick. Ha!
Same shot of the mermaid swimming Used probably ten times or more That instrument's not a cello The frets make it a viol Under Versailles Under Versailles
I'm all alone, but my fins could cut stone. I'm so sad I could cry. That mermaid's totally trying to smash. That twink doctor's a pain in the ass. His science is wacky. The costumes are tacky. Watch this movie. Amazing. Wow, wow, wow. I do think, Scott, our producer should cut a super cut. Just a little bit of all of the Little Mermaid songs. Absolutely. All right.
King's Daughter has an average rating of 4.4 out of 5 stars. 67% are 5-star reviews.
And they go a little something like this. Lynn A. Marie writes, I'm getting so tired of all the wokeness crap being shown these days. I like an old-fashioned fantasy type of movie that isn't trying to get political narrative across. This movie isn't as bad as others out there. Five stars. Oh, man. Then Katie and Heather Chong wrote,
purchased for my 11-year-old daughter. She likes the fit and the style. I don't think it was for this movie. I think that was for a piece of clothing. One Pilgrim writes, this is a delightful movie with a great story, great acting, and just enough action. I wish there were more movies like this made. It doesn't have outlandish casting, and it doesn't cater to wokeness. Just a pure delight to watch. Five stars. And...
And finally, Butterfly writes this. Yes, it's a fairy tale, but it's very good. We all enjoyed it. It's a fun, feel-good movie. I'm not sure our husbands would enjoy it. It's definitely a girls' movie. Five of us are seniors and three teen granddaughters, and it was a fun girls' day. Five stars. Fun movie. It does make me...
I will say a little bit gleefully happy that the anti-woke crowd are watching this movie and loving it. Loving it. They think this is the answer to all their problems. They're like, fuck Barbie, give us the king's daughter.
If this was a typical Hollywood movie, they would talk about saving the mermaid, not eating its heart. Okay, so I promised you earlier in the show that I talked to a longtime listener who worked on this film. What he says is this. I have seen various cuts of this film over 50 plus times.
before it was shelved by Chinese investors for nearly seven years. We were all shocked when we saw this film had a release last year and assumed it had been lost to the cutting room floor. But where there's a will in a dodgy CGI mermaid, there's a way.
So he talked to all the people who worked on the film and he said, "Tell me your stories." So this is what he'll tell us. I'll give you the highlights. "It was heavily backed by mysterious Chinese investors and they did not like the film from the start. They continued to send notes and re-edits of the film. There were screenings and changes every week for six months. We graded it 16 versions of the film and then they still weren't happy. They took everything related to the film, all the digital archives and rushes, and returned back to China where it sat on itself for seven years.
But those investors who did not like the film loved The Mermaid.
And they couldn't decide how to make the mermaid because there were many incarnations. Some gross and scary. Some angelic. And then they used mocap and then they decided to make the whole thing look like Bing Bing. Then they said that they started to add more CGI to the movie but they had no money or reshoots. Pierce Brosnan wouldn't come back to do reshoots because he hated his costume.
The original cut of the movie was not a fairy tale. There was no narration. And it was a serious movie. Just a period piece with mermaids. You can't say it was a serious movie. It was a period piece with mermaids. And he said Pierce Brosnan hated his experience on this movie. Miserable on set. But you can't tell that in his performance. Oh, no, he's fantastic. But I'm not surprised at all. This looks miserable.
Budget, $40 million. Opening weekend, $720,000. Worldwide gross, $2 million. Wow. Tagline, a king, his daughter, a hidden world.
Atlantis is the hidden world. This came out the same year that Namor was revealed in the MCU. Yes. Right? Yeah, well, it came out the same year as Top Gun Maverick, Black Panther, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. It was beaten by Moonfall, Morbius, and Ambulance. But here's the thing. 21% on Tomatometer, 80% on the audience score. Wow.
Is that you guys? Yeah. I blame Portland, Maine for that. Wow. That's shocking. I know it came out, obviously it only came out in 2022, but I had zero awareness of this as existing. I don't think you should have known about this movie. I think probably, if anything, it came out in two or three theaters. When I saw, when I looked up the thing and was like, oh, okay, this is what I got to watch.
I looked at the image, I looked at whatever, and I was like, oh, this movie is from 10 years ago, or it's from another time. So then to realize it was a 2022 movie rocked my world until I researched a little and found out that it was shot in 2014. So, yeah, it does have a little bit of a time travel quality to it. It does look like a COVID movie, though, because not many people are in those scenes. It's like two people in every scene. It's like...
I guess the question is, would you recommend it? Absolutely. I mean, this is... Absolutely, because this is so... This is just... It's so shocking. This movie is so shocking to me. Again, when that mermaid... When I first realized there were mermaids in this. I mean, it's just such a shock to the system that I highly recommend it, actually. I agree. Yeah, I highly recommend it. And I think Pierce Brosnan's having fun despite the fact that it was just revealed he was not having fun.
He really looks like he is. And this is something to see. This is something to behold. Here's what I'll say. Yes, I agree in the sense of you have to see this to believe it. That's right. Because in any other way, shape, or form, you cannot with your mind's eye conjure what is happening in this. You're totally right. When they go to Atlantis at the very end, it's like you couldn't.
I was like, what? And they spend so much time in Atlantis just swimming around. You're like, this is the beginning of a movie, but it's the end. It should be Act 3. Act 3 should be go to Atlantis, recruit Atlanteans to come and fucking kick ass. They saved that for Wakanda forever. I will say, very much like our audience here, don't read the book, but read the summary. So maybe...
Keep that fast forward clicker in your hand and stop. Because there are things that you need to appreciate. But like a train, you should go buy them quickly. And you'll appreciate it more. I have to tell you, I felt this movie flew by for me. Flew by? Flew by. I have to admit, it did not fly by for me. For me, flew. Mostly because I spent so much time trying to figure out who the protagonist of the movie is.
Like, truly, who is this movie about? Well, let's leave it to the audience right here and ask the question that was asked by our audience. If you think this is a kids' movie, I want you to clap your hands, and we'll remain in the kids' section in the library. Or, all right, so let's go, or if it's an adult movie, you clap your hands. So, kids' movie, adult movie. Well, you have your answer. It's going in the adult section, where hopefully an adult will burn it.
Thank you, Maine! Thank you, Portland! Thank you for coming out on a Wednesday. We love being here. You guys were fantastic. Jason Vansoukas, June Diane Rayfield, I am Paul Scheer. We will come back. This is amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That's right. Eat shit. What a show. Thank you so much to the staff at the State Theater and our amazing tour manager, Beth Thomas. Portland, we love you.
We loved you. We are going to be back to Maine. You guys are a very cool town. I had so much fun there. And I think that we really made a great, how did this get made? Maine centric shirt. I don't even fully get it, but I believe the design captured exactly what you all wanted. A Maine adventure right there. You could go to tpublic.com slash stores slash HDTGM and you could check it out and make sure you're buying your stuff right there.
from TeePublic because I've seen a lot of bootleg stuff out there. It's been bumming me out. Miss prints and off-centered. They don't do it the quality way that TeePublic does it. Now, here's the thing. That was a great live show. And we're going to be doing a lot of live shows. I mean, a ton.
of live shows, and we want you to be there. We're going to be in Los Angeles January 24th, 25th, 26th. We're going to be in San Francisco on February 3rd, and we're going to be in San Diego on February 4th. Then we're going to be in London on the 28th of March, and the 29th of March we had to add a second show. I think those shows might be sold out at this point. We'll also be in Glasgow, Belfast, and
And Dublin, we want you there. Go to hdtgm.com. That's right. We're international, baby. And if you missed my announcement this week, my book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma, is now available for pre-order. You can get it as an audio book, which is going to have some extra special features in it. You can get it as a regular book, which will have different things than the actual audio book. And people, it's important.
that you buy this. Honestly, I'm going to be very honest with you because it helps me. It helps me because I wrote this book for HarperCollins. And, you know, if you want to make sure your library gets it in stock, do that. It's called Joyful Recollections of Trauma. It's going to be coming out in May. But if I sell enough books, I could start referring to myself as a New York Times bestselling author. Now, that's a big thing to crack, but I think I could do it because I know that this audience is
is amazing. Again, my book is called Joyful Recollections of Trauma, and I can't tell you exactly what right now, but if you pre-order the book, you are in for a lot of special surprises. No joke.
I'm going all out here. I'm spending my own money to do some cool things for everybody who buys the book ahead of time. So you could go to my website, find out how to get it, or just really go to any place you buy books, go to use your library, whatever you want to do. Check out Joyful Recollection of Trauma. This is not going to be the last time you're going to hear about it. But I do want to say one more thing to all of you. If you need to find us, you can find us online everywhere at hdtgm.com. But if
If you're not on my Discord or HowDidThisGetMade Discord, you are missing out on really the big conversations that we're having. Go check out the HowDidThisGetMade Discord at discord.gg slash hdtgm or leave me a voicemail at 619-PUL-ASK.
And we are going to be doing a very big Last Looks next time. Jason will be here. We'll be talking about Dungeons & Dragons. And we will be talking about The King's Daughter. So please, please tune in for that. It's going to be fun. We also have some special guests coming up on Last Looks that I'm very excited about. All right. And remember, tell a friend. This show only exists because of the word of mouth that we get through auditions.
are listeners and you are our listeners and we appreciate you so, so much. And you know what? Watching these bad movies is so much better when you do it with a friend. And last but not least, let me say a very special thank you to our entire behind the scenes team. That's right. I'm talking about our producers, Scott Sonny, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer, Aval Halle, our engineers, Casey Holford and Rich Garcia, our associate producer, Jess Cisneros. And let me tell you this,
That's not the last time I'm going to thank them. I'm going to keep on thanking them because they keep on doing great work. That's all I got for now. Joyful recollections of trauma. How did this get made on tour? We will see you on the road or maybe just here next week. All right. Bye for now. How did this get made? Here we go.
Every sandwich has bread. Every burger has a bun. But these warm, golden, smooth steamed buns? These are special. Reserved for the very best. The Filet-O-Fish. And you. You can have them too. For a limited time, the classic Filet-O-Fish you love is joining your McDonald's favorites on the two-for-$3.99 menu. Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Single item at regular price. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
There are some football feelings you can only get with BetMGM Sportsbook. That's right. Not just the highs, the ohs, or the no, no, no's. It's the feeling that comes with being taken care of every down of the football season. The feeling that comes with getting MGM rewards benefits or earning bonus bets. So, whether you're drawing up a same-game parlay in your playbook or betting the over on your favorite team. Turn it.
The BetMGM app is the best place to bet on football. You only get that feeling at BetMGM. The sportsbook born in Vegas, now live across the DMV. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. See BetMGM.com for terms. 21 plus only, DC only, subject to eligibility requirements. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.