The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
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Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I'm your host, Paul Scheer, and today we are talking about The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a movie that

I knew it. I knew it.

Okay, so that makes sense. Because for a minute, I thought Avril had betrayed us. Well, I watched it with Paul. I knew it because I knew it. But I also knew it because Paul told me. Because he said, Avril didn't pick this. And it shows. And it shows. What a joyless movie. What a dud. This is why Avril is truly... Wait a minute. June disagrees?

Do you need to advocate for this movie, June? I will say this. All right. Again, in the context of

Of watching all of these movies, I did find this. I had a couple really, like, hard laughs. Wait, that's shocking. I'd love to hear. Intentional? Like, the movie made you laugh on purpose? Well, hold on a minute. The line where that gentleman who's walking on the Nautilus says,

says very loudly reading the transcript from the invisible man. Hello, my freaky darlings. I laughed so hard.

By the way, I laughed so hard at hello, my freaky darlings, which is how I want to start every conversation. By the way, hello to both of you, my freaky darlings. Hello to you, my freaky darlings. Hello, my freaky darlings. That's the way we introduce the show from now on. Instead of people of Earth, hello, my freaky darlings. I think that's how we should start referring to the audience. They are freaky. Hello, my freaky darlings. So the other part.

point where I laughed Paul I mean you didn't I I guess it wasn't laughed but I I was so stunned that in the when we meet Alan Quartermain played by Sean Connor in the very beginning I was so stunned that in that sequence in Africa that

There was, I don't know, no less than 25 to 30 elderly men slaughtered. Slaughtered. And Alan Quartermain doesn't give it a thought. His friends, all of his friends who were there, the number of civilian casualties, collateral damage is astronomical in this movie. And I guess I just have to say, I've never seen that many. I mean, it was very sad to me to see all of these older people

Not just that, but like, what about all of the people of Venice? They knew the risk just by living in the world. I'm going to say two thirds of Venice fell into the water.

I don't know if that's true because all of Venice was at the carnival. Right. Yes. They were all out of their house. But the buildings were falling like dominoes. It was like a dominoes game with. I don't know. It was a dominoes game. Let me just take it back for one second. If you've not watched the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and you should have because you picked it. Yeah.

This is a movie that hypothesizes in a alternate world. A bunch of characters from literature have gotten together. You have the Invisible Man, Alan Quartermain, Dorian Gray from the picture of Dorian Gray, Harkness, not Jonathan Harkness, but his wife, who was bitten by a vampire and is also a vampire. And Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, as well as Captain Nemo, all have come together. Tom Sawyer.

Tom Sawyer, which, by the way, this is not in the film. It was in the deleted scene. The bad guy in this apparently killed Huck Finn in this world. And that's how Tom Sawyer gets roped in. I love it.

Nobody did. Nobody expects Tom Sawyer. I was stunned. I said it was Billy the Kid. I was like, oh, maybe it's... That's right. You thought it was Billy the Kid. Which would also make sense. It would make sense more of like a quick shooting gunman if it was a, yes, a Western hero like that. Yeah, that's what I couldn't remember. Is Tom Sawyer a... Well, is he a bad shot? Is he notoriously a bad shot or a good shot? He's not a shot. I don't think he shoots much. I think he shoots BB guns. Yeah, Tom Sawyer's not a gunman.

He's a child. He's painting fences. Yeah. Now, I'll tell you this much. The movie hypothesizes these characters are like the Avengers and they have been put together to solve this mission. Now, I will say that I knew we were in for trouble when I saw the opening text, which I just want to share with you here. It says 1899. The great nations of Europe share on an easy peace for hundreds of years. Wars have been fought with the same weapons. OK, that's all right.

I'm getting it. And then, and then are those weapons machine guns? No, I think that those are the new things. Okay. Okay. Because then it says single shot rifles, Calvary and horse drawn cannon. Yeah. All right. That's what, that is the thing. But this century is to end soon. Okay. And then what we get is this final line, a new age dawns. That's,

a lot of info that I was immediately confused by because it doesn't play into anything because the first thing that we see is an anachronistic weapon brought here by, and it felt like to me in the beginning, a tank, a World War II tank, or maybe a World War I tank. It felt to me like it was time-traveled here. Yes. Everybody seemed to be terrified of it. The people that come into contact with the tank seemed to think it was

Yes. Yeah. Or do they? I mean...

Oh, whoa. Well, I mean, it's just so... I couldn't get a hold of... I knew we were in the turn of the century, but I really couldn't get a hold of what they... Because Nautilus was completely a new idea. So I actually didn't know where technology and transportation especially was. I mean, I guess...

It's so confusing. Cars are brand new? Well, cars are not existing. It's a train off the tracks. You know what I mean? You would recognize it as a vehicle at the very least. You wouldn't think, oh no, there's a living metal beast.

breaking into the bank or whatever they were enticing. Well, it is 1899, right? So I guess cars were introduced in 1899. I guess, right? I just typed that in. Yeah. You know, so here's the thing that this movie hypothesizes. Ultimately, I just want to bring this one thing to the forefront. These characters are brought together to stop...

Stop a world war. Right? That's the mission of the movie. Yeah. Now, spoiler alert, they do. But World War I did happen. So I don't also understand... It's coming. Right, it's coming. Well, we don't know. Maybe in this... It hasn't happened. Maybe in this world, maybe in this timeline, the world wars are not going to happen in the near future. Got it. So this is...

Okay, that's what I need to understand. This is alternate history 100%. But it also posits that the wars are happening because of an arms race. Well, because this guy, the Phantom, has been blaming everybody else. He is instigating on both sides. He attacks France and then blames it on Britain. Then Britain attacks France and then he blames it on France. He plays both sides. He's trying to start a world war.

Like the Phantom and spoiler alert, the Phantom is revealed to be M, Professor Moriarty. Sherlock Holmes is arch nemesis. And Moriarty, M. Also, M is the James Bond boss's moniker as well, which was confusing to me. Yeah. Especially because Sean Connery is in this film and he goes to meet with M. Yes. And there seems to be a little bit of a cheeky acknowledgement like, oh, you have to see M. Yeah.

But it's not they don't really lean into it either way. But what's interesting is M creates the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and is also the Phantom. So is also sowing the seeds of civil unrest across the world. But so is he using the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen to further his goals of instability? Or is M or the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen actually trying to stop him?

Like what I can't understand is why do both when you can use the league in service of your goals? Well, because he offers the league to join him. He's like, join me. They say no. So plan A really was I just need to get them all in the same room so I can take little skin samples and and then and and build another army of like mutant league. Wait, so you're saying he asked all of them before he got them together privately? Well, no. In the in Dorian Gray's study.

The Phantom comes down the stairs and goes, wait, this is your one chance. I see what you're saying. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said to myself, when I watched this opening sequence that Jason was talking about with the tank, I said, man, oh, man, this is the most action-packed, boring start of a movie I've ever seen. Like, I mean, this whole movie felt like, I'm like, I should be...

I should be like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And really not feeling it. Not feeling it in any way. Well, the take moves so slowly, it's hard. And I'll say this. We've gone this long and we haven't mentioned it. These...

Stories are based on incredible Alan Moore graphic novel, like comics. These are based on a comic series by, you know, maybe the greatest comics writer ever, Alan Moore. The Watchmen. And these are an absolute blast to read. And they're so fun. And they are exactly what this movie is not. They are high adventure stories.

swashbuckling. They are taking all of the tropes that are part of all of these old stories and mashing them all together, and it's fun and it's wonderful. And this is not. Well, Jason...

Would you be surprised to know that this movie, the entire script was written before the first issue was even released? So they had no idea what the comic book would be. They just immediately bought the IP and then ran in a completely different direction. So,

Wow. To me, that is truly... That says it all. That says it all. I mean, because also in the comic book, I believe that Nemo is much more of the leader of the brigade. And I don't think that Harkness is a... Or Harker, I should say, is a vampire. No, they're doing their own thing and it's terrible. And that's the thing is this movie...

promises, you know, big action set pieces. You know, there's, there's so much high adventure in the realm of like what you would consider like, you know, Alan Quartermain is an Indiana Jones type adventurer. All there, Captain Nemo is the, the Nautilus, the submarine, the underwater, all of these places, monsters and vampires. What the promise of all of that and

None of it bears. Well, here's the other thing. Nothing is interesting. I like in this world is like at one point we meet Captain Nemo's like number two and he introduces himself as Ishmael, which is from Moby Dick. But then I was like, wait, what's the logic here? So like Ishmael, like Ishmael,

he, he went off and went to go work for Nemo after he worked for Ahab. I think at a certain point they're like, just name them. Like everybody gets a character name. Um, like everybody, if you're a character in this movie, you're going to get a recognizable character. There apparently was going to be a James Bond in this movie. Uh, cause in the comic books, there is a commander bond who is, uh, like the great, great grandfather of James Bond. Um, and they were going to have that character played by Roger Moore. Uh,

And then they didn't ever do that because, and this is, I guess, the big thing here. This movie made Sean Connery retire from acting. This is a movie where Sean Connery got $17 million to make it. And this is the movie that when faced with two choices, oh, actually three choices, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Sean Connery chose League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Who was he meant to be in the Matrix? Morpheus. Whoa. Yeah. Well, I did. Now, I did ask you, Paul, when we were watching and

We were watching Alan Quartermain. By the way, I don't know if there are any general hospital girlies out there who watched general hospital in high school, but I'm just remembering that Alan Quartermain is character in general hospital as well. And when, and I think he's British and how I'm now I'm having to like revisit that all over again. But, but I said to you, Paul, I said, what does he do? And I,

I know he doesn't like imperialism and he has a lot of disdain for the United Kingdom. But what is he there to do? Is he a hunter? And you said find treasure. Yeah. I stand true by that. Is that…

Is that true? I think that that's I think that I mean, he is like I thought he was a big game hunter. He is all of those. He is like an Indiana Jones, a big game, a hunter. He is a Jones, a big he's a no. Indiana Jones is a big treasure hunter.

Yeah. You know, and Alan Quartermain is too, like searching for cities of lost gold kind of guy. But in doing so, you know, we can look it up, but he is like the Indiana Jones is a Alan Quartermain riff. You know, like that's Lucas and Spielberg and Kasdan riffing off of an Alan Quartermain type character. Yeah, that's what I'm going to say.

Well, only because I kept on waiting. I kept on waiting for his skill set to then come into it. You're right. In this movie, he does none of it. Aside from catching Jekyll and Hyde, like he doesn't. And I guess having that one moment with the animal at the end is

where he tells us he wasn't ready to die. I just didn't know where his skills were coming to play. I think he's just an adventurer who is up for treasure and adventures. Now, I'll tell you this much. I only know Alan Quartermain because when

when I was a kid, there were these movies called like Alan Quartermain and the lost city of gold and Alan Quartermain Solomon's mind. Yes. And it was like Richard Chamberlain and Sharon stone. Right. And, um, I believe this is like in my mind and I am probably wrong, but I believe that the sequel was made out of the deleted scenes from the

the first film. It's a canon movie, so it makes sense ultimately. But I remember watching these on HBO because it was like, I love Indiana Jones. I guess I'll get this, like, the...

the Kmart version of Indiana Jones. I mean, that's what it was. Well, this is like them, because Indiana Jones was such a massive movie, like the Alan Quartermain movies were like pumped into theaters to draft off of that, you know? And I went and saw King Solomon's Mines as well, thinking this is going to be an Indiana Jones type thing. And it was dog shit.

Yeah, it's really, really bad. I wish we were doing that movie right now instead of this. I would love to do that. I was going to say that our listeners forced us to watch this. Did we take a poll or was this a write-in situation? It was a poll, and this is what they do all the time. The last time they did this to us was Dracula 2000. Gerard Butler's Dracula 2000. Well, that's Jerry Butler. It was that, but it was also, eh, fine. All I'm going to say is this. How often do we let them choose? Once a year.

Or roughly once a year. Why don't we do it once every other year? Okay, I think that that's it. Maybe this is a two-strike situation. Yeah, right. Maybe we'll give them one more shot. But guys, this was boring. Well, this is the way it goes. I see the list and I looked at it with Cody, our producer, and I said, all right, yeah, we'll do this one. It's also two hours long. It was so long. So long.

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June, to answer your question, Alan Quartermain is an English-born, professional big-game hunter and occasional trader living in South Africa. He's an outdoorsman who finds English cities and climate unbearable, and he prefers to spend his life in Africa, where he grew up under the care of his father, who is a Christian missionary.

That's not my Indiana Jones. Nope. No, that's very different. Yeah, that's very, very different. He's physically small, wiry, unattractive with a beard and short hair that sticks up. His one skill is marksmanship and he has no equal. Wow.

Wow. It's really, it's a bummer. And it's like, it's like the opposite of a Jack Reacher, tiny, ugly, but a real good shot. And also, I guess from the final shot of the movie, uh,

A mortal? Yeah. Well, there's been a curse placed on him that he cannot die in Africa, I believe is what he says in the movie. Oh, that's why they bring him all the way back to Africa? But he didn't die in Africa. I don't know. Jason, he didn't die there. There's not a sequel, right, Paul? No, there's not a sequel. They signed the cast into three-picture contracts, but that just...

Can you imagine being locked in to do two more of these and this is what the first one was? Oh, by the way, not only did this movie put Sean Connery into retirement, it also put the director into retirement. He's like, I don't want to ever direct actors again. And like...

Like the fights apparently on set were intense. And because Sean Connery took so much money, they couldn't afford to make any other interesting casting choices. Because you do look at this and you go, oh, this movie would, this should be. Like Dorian Gray should be Johnny Depp. Like there's a lot of, you know, it should be. Like there's a lot of, you know, other characters who should be. You want the Ocean's Eleven character.

vibe. Yeah. But you're really not getting that. You're getting a lot of British people who, and look, I apologize to the Brits who listen. I couldn't tell them apart. I was like, wait, is that? I'm like, you know what? I don't apologize to the Brits who listen. These are all the same person. Every single one of them. Jason, the number of times Paul would look at Dr. Jekyll and say, now that's

That's the guy that brought them all together. And I said, no, that's he said he's an extraordinary gentleman. You were thinking when I said that, that I meant M. I meant the guy who went to Africa. Yeah.

I agree. Like there were three people that looked similar. Yeah. Yes. Yes. There were a couple of people. I think what we're saying is all of us, we can't tell British men apart. Yeah. They're all the same. And they're all the same. British man, all the same. I have to say about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, there were so many mirrors around. Oh my gosh. So many mirrors.

So many reflective surfaces. I was like, wow, if I'm looking around right now, I can't see, aside from the Zoom box, I can't see myself in anything. At every turn, he had somewhere to glance. I'm going to say here that if I'm going to give anything to this movie, that the way that they played the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde stuff, I thought was actually very well done. And here's a little clip of it. You scratch me. Better me than him. No!

Well, this is nice. Mr. Hyde, you've done terrible things in England. So terrible that you fled the country. And I'm ashamed to say that Her Majesty's government is willing to offer you amnesty in return for your services. You want to go home. Home's where the heart is, that's what they say. And I have been missing London so long.

Its sorrow is as sweet to me as a rare wine. I'm yours. Don't be afraid. Who says I'm afraid? You stink of fear! Quite the parlor trick. You wait to see my next one. Dr. Jackal, at your service.

That back and forth to me was fun. I don't know. I like that. I like that character. I had one big issue with that character. Yes. When we first capture Mr. Hyde.

Mr. Hyde looks a little bit like Beast from X-Men meets Hulk, right? He's like kind of a big... I guess the... But with, I would say like 15% the Elephant Man. Oh, yes. You're right. Very much so. He has a real like body horror element to him. And giant...

shoulders. Only on one side. Only on the right side. Has a little bit of Hunchback of Notre Dame energy coming at me. But here's the moment that

I really wanted to explore because Hyde is jumping from building to building and they capture him in this uninteresting action sequence. Throw a net around him. Throw a net around him and just kind of scoop him up into a giant submarine that's so large that at one point the periscope, why even have a periscope? Because the periscope is higher. The ship is out of the water. It also looks so thin. It's so thin. But so big.

But so thin as to be able to go through the canals of Venice. Really scoot around. The submarine itself is able to navigate the twisty, turny canals of Venice. No, absolutely not. And it just barely scratches one tunnel at the end. Just why don't they just submerge? Well, anyway, when they capture Hyde, his hat falls off. Hyde's hat falls off.

And I would say it is one of the most comical things because the hat is so large. It's like it would be it's almost like the torso of one of the actual actors. And, you know, with the Hulk, you get it. He bursts out of his clothes, his pants stay on. Sure, whatever. But this is.

Who's making the big hat? He's going out and getting a hat. That hat isn't turning into that. He turns into a giant Mr. Hyde. He goes straight to a haberdasher. Give me a hat! A bigger hat! Must have a hat! And he's jumping around so much. By the way, he does sound a little bit like Venom.

And Bane. And he's like the big, he's the Hulk of the team. Now, I did love the one sequence, the action sequence that I genuinely enjoyed was when Hyde jumped, when they were about to seal off that submarine because it's sinking, Hyde unseals it, jumps in, and physically turns the submarine upright. Now, is that because...

He's the only person who can pull the giant lever. If that's the case, why build a giant lever? If you need a Mr. Hyde level guy on board to pull the lever, then that's a faulty design, Captain Nemo. I'm sorry. Well, I think because the... Because that's what he does. I want to defend the action. Also, can Mr. Hyde breathe underwater? Real question. Well, that's why I think you couldn't... The lever...

the rest of them couldn't get there in time, even if a number of them were needed because they couldn't breathe for that long. Sure. But Mr. Hyde can both transform underwater and have plenty of breath to do the giant lever. No way. Absolutely not. Now look, Dr. Hyde, we only know some of the, some of the things that he did and, you know, maybe we never got to see the full version. I will also say that, uh,

It was an interesting thing because it just luckily the bombs were placed in three strategic areas that were not underwater. If the subs like reemerge, like the bomb holes, if we just get it up.

We're fine. Like, that's a faulty bomb. And the bombs. They basically, like, blew out a couple windows. Yes. And the bombs also, very apparent. Like, they were. In suitcases with timers on them. If you see something, say something, guys. In a hallway. They weren't, like, put up on a shelf. No, they weren't tucked into anything. They were making ticking sounds. Like, the crew of the Nautilus is to blame here.

Also, the minute one of those bombs goes off and the hull is open to the pressures of the deep sea, the whole Nautilus is going to cave into itself. What do we, are we, does this exist in a world in which like the pressure of the deep sea is not a bearing, is not brought to bear on the Nautilus? It's alternate reality, Jason. And I believed in Captain Nemo's engineering there.

I love Captain Nemo. Don't get me wrong. One of my favorites. I will say there's a recent comics, a beautifully drawn and written comics book about Captain Nemo by the writer, author, Junya Ba that I recommend. It's a big, powerful book.

picture book, beautiful, beautifully drawn book about Captain Nemo. And it's terrific. So, well, this is the troubling thing about the movie, right? Is all of there's all these references and characters that you sort of know and are interested in, but everything that you're interested in takes place somewhere else in a different time. And,

In a scene we've never seen, like with Alan Quartermain, I'm like, well, how did his son die? I haven't seen that. What happened? I can't quite understand. Was he responsible? Yeah. We don't know. Boy, I would have loved to have seen that. Didn't train him enough. There's so much I would love to see. I guess that's my question. Is that true that he actually didn't train him enough? I feel like the arc of his character leads me to believe that that is true.

Well, then I'll tell you, he didn't train Tom Sawyer enough either. Yeah. Oh, no, he didn't. He's learned no lessons. He has such a casual relationship to the death of the people that he cares for. Like so many, so many people die. Well, and none of these people care for each other. That's that's the main problem with the movie is that when they are all standing around his grave in Africa and

And they all walk away. It's the most casual scene I've ever. It's like they're leaving a Starbucks. Like there is no, there is no sense of loss of grief. I would love it. If the Starbucks mermaid logo was part of the team, if it's Alan Quartermain, it's Dorian Gray, it's the Starbucks mermaid. It's everybody. We need energy. Yeah.

And she's just is making. Well, by the way, in a movie that is so futuristic where they're on the submarine, they're they're building bombs that when when a record is presented, they recall it like, oh, interesting recording device. I'm like, what?

I love that the record also is a message. The record is the message from the baddies, you know? And laying out the plan, just like every bad villain. A new way to do exposition. It's on a record. I guess. But even when they're finding out on that record that playing the record's release is going to release some sort of a sound wave that's going to activate the bombs, they do listen to the end of it. Oh, yeah.

You know, they stay around to hear all of it. Here's the thing. A movie like this...

all of these devices, all of this, it should be fun. That should be the fun of it. Isn't it fun to watch these characters from stories interact? Isn't it fun to see all these gadgets and, and steam punky nonsense brought to bear on, on, on a story like this? Nope. It's boring. I mean, you're getting the nautilus boring. None of the promise of what these tell me though, Jason, that you didn't laugh during one of the last sequences in, in,

And M's lair when the invisible man, not the invisible man, actually, but someone else who's taken his potion. The second invisible man. Is having a knife fight. And it's just a knife. Yeah. Fighting Tom Sawyer. Incredible. I truly was like, this is absolutely outrageous. And Tom Sawyer has a gun.

Tom Sawyer has a rifle. That's the thing is the power rankings for everybody are off the charts because our guys have like six shooters and a couple of rifles and dozens and dozens of bad guys have the equivalent of like AK-47s. They have limitless weapons.

ammo and machine guns. But the movie plays by like the A-team rules. Nobody is shot ever. Nobody catches a bullet unless it is to prove a la Dorian Gray that he can be shot a dozen times and not die. He's immortal, you know, essentially.

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Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the internet and cable TV, or as your mom called me, that sports gal from Celebrity Jeopardy. I have a new podcast called Casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. No stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found. Just laid back casual banter about home runs, hockey fights, and good old fashioned drama. And I'm Katie Nolan.

Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports, and entertainment, where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports.

Think of it as all the best things about sports with none of the homework. So whether you're a diehard fan or vaguely sports curious, casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the Sirius XM app, Pandora, or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to smash that follow button. That way you'll never miss an episode. Just try it. You can always unsmash it. How can our gentle woman go outside during the day?

What are the rules? What are the rules? Is she a vampire? Because she's also not just a vampire. I mean, I guess maybe I don't know this about Dracul, but can you just turn into bats? Multiple bats? I mean, like an army of bats? I...

I mean, sometimes she's right. The bats. So, yeah, I, I don't know. I don't know. I, the movie, here's the thing. I don't know. The movie should have made me believe she can be a flock of vampires. One, I mean, flock of bats, one of the bats.

Anything. The movie should just tell me what to know. And if it does it well enough, I will believe it. I'll be on board. Well, that's the thing. They kind of withhold a lot of the information throughout the film. And then all of a sudden, I guess they felt like, oh, it would be really too hard to have seven characters together.

tell you what their deal is. So throughout the film, like you'll hear like Dorian Gray will be like, oh yeah, so I do have a portrait and this is what happens. And oh, and like, but it's too late because it's often right before they die or right before they do something. Then we learn about it. I'm like, oh, well, okay. Like every time Dorian

Every time there's a moment, there's an exorcism. Did you understand why Dorian Gray wanted that portrait back? Yes. Why? Because it's the only thing that can kill him. Right. If he's shown his own portrait, he will die. Then why try to get it back? Why not stay far away from it? So nobody could use it as a weapon against him, I think.

I guess just seemed pretty wild to go through all that work and then have it and then have someone be like, but see it is just so close to him. Like if that was me, I'd want to keep it far away. But the original idea of Dorian Gray was that the picture aged and

And Dorian Gray didn't. But it wasn't that he couldn't see the picture. I thought like every night he came home and saw the picture, right? Isn't it? I don't, yeah, no, I don't think the, I don't think the story. I don't think it was a faithful adaptation of the picture of Dorian Gray. No, but if the movie worked.

That wouldn't bother me. If the movie worked and it was like, oh, okay, we're going to take these stories and we're going to, we're going to pivot them a little bit here or there for fun for, I'd be like, oh, what a clever use of Dorian Gray. Oh, he's immortal. So he can't be killed. So yes, what a good, it's good that he could be a, a superhero type analog, but no, the movie's having no fun with it. It's just a bummer. Um,

Even he and... What's the... It's not Harker. It's Harker, yeah. Is it Harker in this? Yeah. They have like a love story. They had a relationship before, I guess. I don't know. I want to feel his betrayal for the team, for her. None of it matters. None of the juice of what could be interesting in the movie is explored. It is so interesting because...

Harker was married to Jonathan Harker from Dracula, but then it seemed like she had a previous relationship with Dorian Gray. So it's like, okay, so in between, like, it just, it's a weird thing to be like, if it was her ex-husband, there's an interest, like we, this is all stuff that we have to infer and pull together where they could have just made it

That they had a kind of an energy together. I don't know. Like what? Why lay a backstory that we don't even fully, fully understand? No idea. But, you know, the one thing I did enjoy was when our invisible man put on his like Hans face cream.

By the way, not an invisible man. What? They could not use that because that was the only character that was not in the public domain. So they could never refer to him as the invisible man. They had to change his name. They could just call him an invisible person. Oh, wow. Yeah. So they just call him Skinner instead? Yeah.

That was an interesting thing that Universal made them not do. I did. Well, I was sort of fascinated by the fact that he put on that face cream. The ponds, because it's like, well, why? You know, why? Why? Why? Yeah. Why not just put a jacket on? Sunglasses and a hat. Must it be uncomfortable for him?

to have like a caked face of sticky cream. And it seems like it kind of comes off very easily. And it's like, just, we don't need it. Or, you know, let's go back to the old school, wrap your face up like a mummy. Bandages. Yeah, get some bandages on there. Well, was he killed at the end, by the way? Was he? Yes. There was a point where I thought... He is blown up. Yeah. And so you see a pile of honestly charred skin. Oh, yeah.

that was so grotesque. I remember being utterly upset, like, because you could just, like, at certain points, you'll see, like, an outline of him, and you see flayed flesh, and the only way you're seeing it is in the reflection of the fire. It was real. I was like, oh, movie. Yeah, it was very upsetting. Yeah, he saves Tom Sawyer, I believe, from a man in an

Iron Man costume who has a flamethrower, basically. Like, this movie has, like, characters who are in, like,

giant metal suits who are bulletproof, who are... I thought that those are just robots. Whoa. Yes, because I thought he was creating an army of robots. Cool. Because at one point when they do that overview of the castle and the Invisible Man's telling them the story, there's lines of robots there. So it's like, I'm building robots and I'm building tanks. And I also have at my disposal robots

And I would say almost a thousand sharpshooters because there's a sharpshooter on every multiple sharpshooters on every building in Venice. So he's got an army. Yeah. And also all of the scientists that he kidnapped. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. No, he should win easily because our team hates each other, does not have a clearly defined plan whatsoever. They just walk into every location and just start shooting for the best. They don't. Yes. And they they don't seek cover.

They just stand and shoot at people who are in cover and have better guns than them. Yes. And multiple times Captain Nemo fights machine gun men just with a sword, just running around with a sword. And chooses to. I feel like there was one point where he was handed a gun and he was like, no, thank you.

Not for me. I'd rather run these men through with my scabbard. I don't understand what's up. Everybody should be dead in this movie by minute four. I mean, the heroes. But you're right. The main problem is that they are not connected to each other. I guess with the exception of Tom Sawyer and...

on quarter rain, but they all seem to not just not like each other, but have a lot of disdain for each other. And they see irritated with each other, which, which I love as a first act problem. But by the second and by the second half of the second act of this movie, they need to start trusting each other. I kept on writing. When is this movie going to start? It just felt like, okay, well now we'll get the mission. Now we'll get the mission. Like the mission, I guess was, um,

to stop the bombs in Venice, but they didn't stop the bombs. They created... And this is when you say, like, if you just tell me something is true, I'll believe it. And I'm a hundred... Like, I will believe it. I will go with it. I feel that way too. But this movie...

Tells me something. It was hard to believe. I don't understand what they're saying. So there are bombs all over the city. But if they could drive their car into one of them, they can push one building backwards and then stop a domino. So this is what they're saying. This is what they're saying. They're basically saying the bombs are setting up a dominoes style fire.

like catastrophe where each building hits the other building. So if we can get in front of it and knock a building down between two buildings, then it will stop the cascade of buildings. So it will basically create...

create a stop in the future. You know what I mean? So you've got to, they've got to get ahead of, it doesn't matter, but that's why Shane West is driving the car. Boy, it also seemed like they got most of the buildings at that point. Really? It felt to me like they had lost. I mean, Venice is supposed to be a small city. There seemed to be a lot more buildings in Venice, uh, cause they really are blowing it up. And here's the other thing. Um,

Obviously, Tom Sawyer had never driven a car and is all of a sudden like Dom Toretto racing through. Tom Sawyer, I don't know what his skill set is. There is no skill set that we know of Tom Sawyer. He's young. He's American. Yeah. His skill set is American. Thank you, Jason. Thank you. But this is the problem. When they're driving that submarine into or, you know, sailing that submarine into Venice…

We see the ground. We see the shore floor or not the shore, but the sea floor. And it's full of explosives, like tons and tons and tons of bombs. So it wasn't like there was a bomb in every house. There also seemed to be bombs everywhere.

under the entire city of Venice. You're right. And that's what I could not understand. I mean, I got the dominoes of it all and how they were going to thwart that. But I thought they were going to Venice because all of the world leaders were going to be there. At Carnival? Yes. Didn't they say they were all going to be there? And that's why they were going to try to blow up Venice. Just don't get. Maybe. But I don't even know. Not only do I not know, I also felt like

I'm unclear what the goal is, and I'm also unclear why our particular set of heroes' skills should be brought to bear on solving it. Because none of their expertise is handy in this whatsoever. They're only fighters. They don't have a water person. They just have fighters. Nobody knows technically how to drive. So the fact that it's a driving thing... My favorite thing in the driving was that there are multiple instances of...

Tom Sawyer careening through Venice, driving this like gigantic Rolls Royce looking car that's a convertible and twice as

Twice, people jump out of the car to run away and provide cover or something like that. But the car is going like 30 miles an hour and they jump off and land like sure-footed. They jump off and are like, got to go. Like Sean Connery, a man who appears to be 85 years old in the movie, leaps out of a car going 35 miles an hour and just stands up straight and starts shooting.

I was like, what world is this? Well, the other thing I was bummed about is that when we get to M's lair at the end...

And I did like that it was super snowy there. I thought that was interesting. But when we get to that layer, we do see that, okay, a couple people have taken the invisible powder or whatever. But they all fight the super version of themselves. But do they? Because I didn't really see Sean Connery's doppelganger in there. Sean Connery had nothing that they were trying to take from him. Nor did I see other vampires. Right.

I didn't either. I agree. They did get her blood. I guess, what did they take from Sean Connery? Or other Americans. We also barely saw the vampire fight in the library scene as well. I think some people's skills would have required too much CG, work too much, and they spent clearly all of their money on the Mr. Hyde transformation stuff. Sean Connery. Some of the...

And Sean Connery. And Sean Connery himself. I feel like they were in the very beginning of the movie, they were like, they showed us a hangar full of blimps, and then they blew it up to be like, don't worry, we won't be on any blimps in this. We don't have the money for blimps. They're all done.

And there is an interesting thing here because the way that she comes out at that fight scene, the harker, is like they're all bop, bop, bop, punching, shooting. Things are going around. And then she just kind of steps out of the shadows, wipes her mouth and like, well, took care of those guys. That is a, that's like Venkman walking out at the end of Ghostbusters and having like just a dollop of marshmallow on his head and be like, whoo.

It's crazy. Like it clearly did not. Bill Murray did not want to get marshmallows on him. I did like that sequence though, because I've never seen a library ladder be used to, to fight people. I thought that was cool. There are cool things.

I liked all the pages of the books. I loved that. I thought that was a great place to set a shootout or an action set piece. But geographically, I couldn't tell who was who. I couldn't tell who was where. I couldn't tell who was winning or losing. I didn't understand any of it.

And he's very smart scientifically, but it seemed like his science began and ended with the Nautilus. Like that seemed to be his science. At one point, they find out there's a spy who took some pictures of his instrumentation.

I mean, that's they just took a picture of like the the three the three steering wheels like that. Like it's like, what what are you getting from that? Like what like what that looked like to me. Regular regular ship front. It's like there's nothing different. I don't know what he's doing. No.

Well, he, I feel like he is the pirate. He is transportation. He doesn't want to be called that, Jason. Swashbuckling. Yes. No, I know. But I feel like Mina Harker is, she's our vampire, but she's introduced as the chemist, as the scientist. And someone says, oh, good. So we're going to be blowing stuff up. So I'm, I keep looking to her.

To say, okay, are you going to start blowing stuff up yet? Like, are you ready to do your chemistry and your science? She never does it. Never once. She does test one thing. I can't remember what it was. She does have some test tubes at one point, but they fall. They fall on the nautilus. She's got a beaker. But then, meanwhile, so does...

I wish Beaker from the Muppets was here. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde also has beakers. Like, they have doubled up on the wrong... There are a lot of aisles. There are a lot of beakers. How funny would it be if it was like, we've got a vampire. We've got Dr. Bunsen E. Honeydew and Beaker. I also think that, like, I mean, Quartermain... Does Quartermain do anything? Like...

sharp shooter he's a he's a sharp shot that's what i think if someone's running far away i mean that's really the only like we we set up that can i say something though paul i'm sorry to interrupt his whole strategy of wait wait yeah is to me a little flawed because especially at the end when m is so far away when he's running away from his lair i'm just like

Buddy, every second you're waiting, he's getting further away. You gotta unload some ammo on this guy immediately. Yep, agreed. And I just couldn't, like, get behind that as a concept. It's also like...

Tom Sawyer, Alan Quatermain isn't even looking at Tom Sawyer. He's passed out. How could he possibly give him any feedback on what's happening? My other issue is when we meet Tom Sawyer, I don't get the sense that he's like,

I shoot at anything I see. Because when they first get to the top of the Nautilus and they're doing target shooting, he goes, all right, here, here's a gun. You shoot it. The most important thing is to wait and give it a breath. Let the gun tell you when to shoot. He shoots it. He comes damn near close. It was like, oh, if you just waited a second more, you would have gotten it. That's a...

As far as an arc for a character, that's a small one. It's like, oh, if you just waited a second more, you would have gotten it. Not like... Just patience. Just learn a little patience. It's like a little more patience because he had patience. Like he took to it very quickly. He wasn't, oh, God damn it. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I loved when the bombs go off on the Nautilus. And this movie, again, this movie is so, so long.

There is, I'm going to say, a 10-minute sequence of the movie where we just watch them do repairs. Yeah. I don't need this. I don't need to see them doing repairs on the Nautilus. Like, find a way to keep moving forward. You know what you don't do in a movie at this point in time? Grind to a halt to repair the Nautilus. Come on. Yeah, we're just going to accept that it kept moving. But again, the Nautilus... Yes!

Or get in a different boat and keep moving. Didn't you love, though, that when they all got out,

They were all in similarly themed snowsuits. I like that. I did love that. And they had diver guys. Yes. Like when they were in Venice, a platoon of diver guys came off, which was cool looking. There's so much cool setup in this. There's so many cool ideas in this. The follow through is, I would say, disastrous in every aspect. Yeah.

Yeah. And I kind of wish for the movie. I kind of wish that Alan quarter means story just because he, he is elderly and that's great. That's fine. But I wish his story had been either about like accepting that he has some limitations and that there are areas in which he both has limitations, but he has room for growth and,

Or something. And there was just no arc to his character. I did not understand at all. They laid it out in the beginning with that line, and I'm going to butcher it, but, and it's like poetry. It's like when you're doing Sorkin, you don't want to butcher the line. But I believe he said, you got to get it. When he said like when, when lions are old and they believe they're going to die, that's when they fight the hardest.

And so that's what we're led to believe. But I don't see him fight the hardest either. I don't see Alan Quatermain doing anything aggressive in this movie. He's patient, sees whatever. And if you want to tell me that his lesson was that he trained Tom Sawyer like you wish you trained his son. He didn't.

He didn't. If anything, he was mid-training session with him on the Nautilus and was like, I gotta go. If anything, I wish Tom Sawyer had been killed so that Alan Quartermain could know that he failed again. Damn it. So I guess my question is this. What would the sequel have been? Right? Because, all right, the sequel would be like, I'm guessing now you have like a...

a zombie Alan Quartermain, but they don't have any organization that they work for. So who's sending them out on missions? No, I think he just... Yeah, I think Alan Quartermain comes back to life normal. And he's the leader. I agree. You know, I think it's a Kingsman-style, you know, world in which they just have adventures. But there's no one to send them on a mission. I do think that...

But, well, there's going to be another villain. But I do think that the exciting thing about the sequel is that because there's no invisible person anymore, we have room for Beaker. Yeah.

Yeah, and Dr. Bunsen-y Honeydew. Yeah. I would love that. And that's the thing is, like, Alan Moore has written these books for years. You know, every couple of years he puts out a new story, and they're fun. They're fun adventure stories. And I think this is a world you could explore, a la The Kingsman or a similar type of things that are stories that would be fun to dig into. But this movie takes all of the wrong stuff in,

and highlight that. You know, this movie's not about the fun swashbuckling adventure. It's about, like, machine guns and exposition and none of the fun of the team, none of the fun of the, what would be a good time. It's not interesting. I hate the idea of what you love about Sherlock Holmes ultimately, you know, even the Benedict Cumberbatch one. It's like, okay, they're in this time. Oh, no, that is actually this time. Oh, you mean Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes? The fighting. I love the fighting. But that's

the version of this movie that would have been awesome? Is if this movie had been made by Kyrie. I'm down with that. The Gentleman. It's like a, yes. Exactly. Give me something that has these components, but in the hands of someone who's interested in telling a fun, exciting, zippy story. There's nothing fun about it. And I guess what I was saying was...

He these characters just wind up fighting with guns like there's nothing about it. Like, no, you're right. There is no skill set used like Ocean's Eleven. They each do a thing and it all works together here. They just all have different guns. They all like Sean Connery has a single shotgun. That guy's got a machine gun. She bites people, but they're all just weapons.

It's the least interesting thing to do. And then, you know, she wipes her mouth and she's like, don't worry, I already ate enough people today. It's like, oh, are you also a threat to these people? I don't know. She I think she is because she's got what, you know, a woman's got to eat.

Yeah, I believe she can fly. Like definitely definitely doesn't they? Why don't they use that to greater effect? Yeah. Why didn't she fly up to the other, you know, levels of the library or the layer? She was this off camera.

But I think that's what they want you to believe, is that they just didn't show her, you know, doing incredible stuff. And that's the thing is, they are such a powerful team because of all their special skills. But, like, they are constantly outmatched or outgunned by just 12 guys with machine guns. Hundreds of faceless people with machine guns. And the other thing is, too...

you know, she kills Dorian Gray. You know, she shows him his own face and that makes him like go, you know, he kind of like he, he just kind of immediately crumples and turns to dust. he swaps parts. He basically becomes the what's in the paint. Right. Exactly. Right. So that's, that's the moment. She looks so horrified by that. And I'm like,

Isn't that what you were doing? Like you were doing, like that was the, that was the plan, right? Like you, you wanted to kill him. Like you had the painting there. You did the whole thing. She's like, Oh, Oh, you know, you know, come on people. Don't fuck with me like this. Yeah. So every, basically everything's a gun, including the portrait of Dorian Gray is basically a gun.

Now, it did seem, though, weirdly, before he saw the picture, that the stabbing of him had more of an effect on him than the bullets had, which I couldn't quite understand. Agree. I think they were trying to play it because he couldn't.

dislodge himself from the wall. He was stuck almost. Right, he just couldn't pull it out. I don't think he was in mortal danger from the sword. It seemed like he couldn't get unstuck. He needed that Dr. Hyde strength. He needed that. But, you know, the other thing, too, is I think the other element that really is missing from this is this should be a secret organization.

but everything they do is so aggressive. Like the, the Rolls Royce is in the center of a town that doesn't seem to have cars. This submarine is barely ever underwater. It's, I would argue, uh, always above water. Like everything is attracting tremendous attention. Um, they never try to do anything quietly. And even the invisible man. Yeah. By the way, sometimes the invisible man would put the cream all around his head.

And sometimes just in the front. And I was like, well, we don't need to see the back of your head too. I mean, we don't like, and he had like stubble. So it also means that the invisible man is shaving. Sometimes the invisible man is also used for like comic relief and

In that he's constantly referencing the fact that he's naked when he's in his invisible state. He's talking about it. I'm naked and it's so cold up here in the snow. I'm naked and I'm here. He's he, that's part of it in a way that is very odd because he's,

You think of him running around shoeless. Didn't he sneak into Sean Connery's room at one point? And he does kind of cop. He's always nude. He's copping a feel of what's her face. Like, you know, it's like it's too much. What was that movie that we saw? Oh, yeah. The animated movie, Ronald the Barbarian. Didn't his balls go around? Yes. Yes.

That was a, yeah, genitals were a big, somehow a bigger deal in Ronald the Barbarian. But I guess that's what I couldn't really understand. Sometimes it seemed that he didn't have a body, like that his body didn't exist in space. Yeah.

And sometimes it seemed like he could hit people, move through space like a visit, like he had physical. He should have been a circus performer. That would have been a more interesting story for him. Like he was a circus performer who got, you know, and also a jewel thief, like make him a cat woman or something like, you know, give him like or like Robin, like give him some sort of skill. He just seems to be a real like.

whatever that might i'm taking money it's like it's like just like just didn't seem like a very good impression thank you and i you know something i've been working on uh a lot you know all my voices uh i think they should cast you as skinner in the next uh in the sequel but again i would love to see this as a adaptation of the comics which seem like

we are, we so struggling for IP that we just like the idea and then run with it. But I would also argue that, uh, you know, at this point, you know, uh, you know, as much as I love, uh, you know, these books, like, you know, from hell and the Watchmen, uh, V for Vendetta, you know, they, they don't really translate into great films. Uh, you know, Watchmen, the TV show is great, but it's, it's hard to kind of like kind of capture what, uh,

Why am I forgetting his name? But he does so well. Alan Moore, you know? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alan Moore, I mean, so, you know, this is the writer of Watchmen and the pivotal writer of Swamp Thing and, you know, like a truly exceptional writer who's so smart and so interesting and so curious about stuff that to watch this...

In service of that material is like very bizarre because, like I said, I pulled the comics after I watched the movie just to be like, yeah, what's going on here? I read like the first 10 pages of volume one of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's dynamite.

It's so fantastic and so exciting and so cool and beautifully drawn. It's not at all what this movie is. And what a shame it is to have this be the adaptation. I mean, it really is rough. But you know what? There are people out there that loved it. People out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. The movie was a piece of shit. Yet this person recommends it.

Well, well, well, well. Here we go. 6,562 total reviews. 79% are five-star. 79% are five-star. This is unheard of. And...

And Chandler Cobb, back in 2021, writes this review. I left my husband home alone, and lo and behold, he purchased this movie via Amazon Prime. First of all, I was impressed that my sweetie pie had figured out how to work our fire stick. Secondly, this is a good movie. This movie reminds me of the Indiana Jones series of movies.

And that the title is leaving your husband at home. Five stars. Now, this is from Yawn written in 2021. Right off the bat, this movie had my attention. And while there were some parts that made me want to skip forward, I didn't. Seems like some things are at odds there. Yeah.

Amazing movie with the wrong title. I saw that critics hated it and Sean Connery, God rest his soul, also hated it. And it's exactly the kind of movie I want to watch. After scanning through all the free movies for the zillionth time and not seeing a single one I wanted to watch, nor had seen before through the corner of my eye, it was this movie that had Sean Connery in it, so I gave it a go.

Because of the title, I'd always skip right over it. The gentleman in the title suggested the movie was saturated in feminism. When in fact, it has some because the one main female character had extraordinary power and that made her practically invincible. But then again, a lot of the males were in the same or damn close. Five stars. If critics hate it, I love it. Wow. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

And then I don't know. I think they also don't understand feminism. Yeah, there too. Yeah, I think that was a few things off the base there. Don W. Brown in 2024 says shows how effective you can be when you apply what you know for good. And the title met expectations. The stars five five.

Met expectations. And then I guess this is the one that I will leave you with. Danny Brani, too, in 2020 writes, Excellent movie that brought joy to the ending, even when the main character appeared to go elsewhere. Elsewhere? As in the great beyond? I guess so. Saint elsewhere? Yeah.

In a little snow globe. The idea of, I guess, well, you know what this, what Danny is saying is, hey, even though the main character died, it still brought me a lot of joy. You know, like life goes on. And also the main character clearly didn't die at the end. Well, we don't know. Also, like, who cares?

Who cares? Like, they could have lost anybody and I wouldn't care. You know, like, it doesn't feel cohesive at all. I would care about Captain Nemo. That's the only character I would care about. I like a little Captain Nemo. I mean, I like the way he was. You know, it's...

I was interested in the movie that Captain Nemo was in. That's, yes. And it felt like he was very much so in a different movie. And I was curious. Oh, you know who I wish had made this movie? I was Nemo curious. I wish Gore Verbinski had made this movie. The guy that made the

Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Interesting. Interesting.

I don't question it at all in those movies because it's just good fun. This movie, in not having any fun whatsoever, I just want to nitpick and quibble with every nonsensical decision they've made because I'm like, all I want is for you to have made the choices that would have given us...

Pirates of the Caribbean tone. And ironically enough, this movie opened in second place the weekend it came out behind Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl. So there it was. And this also feels like a movie that when you say like...

those movies. I'm like, oh, that those were made recently. This, I guess was too. I mean, it was 2003, I guess. I don't know. Which kind of blew my mind when I saw that. Mine too. I thought it was like a 90. I would have guessed like 1994, you know? Yeah. Just for how, also how shitty it looked. Yeah. I mean, wow. Oh,

Oh, wow. And this is just so you know, I know I said the director quit making movies, but before he quit making movies, he did make Blade. Oh, that's Blade 1? This is the director of Blade, Blade 1. So, you know, there you go. Okay, yeah. Any final thoughts, y'all? The only thing I'll say is even if all of the action sequences were botched and there wasn't enough fun, what I really wish was that the characters, the performances felt...

you know, like electric and joyful and interesting. And that to me was the biggest failure. Yeah. That it just, you feel the stress of the set. Yeah. Like it feels like it feels like this movie was primarily shot in Malta. No one got to go home. It,

And everyone was yelling at each other. There's a heaviness to this movie. There's no lightness. There's no fun. I would say the only scene that has a little bit of fun is the first meeting of Alan Quartermain. That is, I think, an awesome section. Like a really cool section. Yeah. I feel similarly. I feel like what a bummer that this is a joyless experience. And I think that, you know, my final thoughts are for the audience. First of all, you fucking blew it.

You blew it. You idiots blew it. You blew it. I think that the audience thinks the movies we do are just bad.

And they're right. This movie is bad, but this is not a good movie for the podcast because it is joyless. There is, there's nothing here to have fun with. It is just boring and flat. And yes, you're right. It's bad, but not bad enough that it makes for a fun, a two hour, two hours. We shouldn't let them take away the vote. We've got to take away their vote. You know, Gina comes down to you. Do you want to take away their vote? Yeah.

It's hard. I don't think I agree as much. I'm going to stand with the audience here. I'm going to stand with the audience here because although, yeah, it's not a fun, bad movie to watch, it's also a lot better than many of the joyless experiences we've had. Sure. Sure. I just want to put it in historical context. Sure.

I mean, I would much rather watch Madame Web again. Oh, well, that's but that's an aces movie. I mean, that's I mean, that's fun. I will say this. Sean Connery, even if he was miserable, I like watching him on screen like he he is there. He is present. He's Sean Connery. And I'm all in on that. Like, I feel like I was on board with this. I love that.

He read these scripts and I guess this is like something that had been really funny to him because he admitted he doesn't know how to pick movies anymore when he turned down Lord of the Rings and The Matrix just by looking going like those two movies don't make sense. Wow. Now, Lord of the Rings is a harder argument to make because that's

a huge part of literature matrix I get like, Oh, I don't understand what this is, but Lord of the Rings say, yes. Do we know who he was meant to play in Lord of the Rings? Do we know? Yeah, it was Saruman, right? I think it was supposed to be. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. I think, or, or, or it was, yeah, let me see. Oh, Gandalf in the notes. Gandalf. Sorry. Yeah.

Oh, I'm actually so glad that he didn't play Gandalf. No, it would have been because he's now at this point, he's in that kind of Highlander zone, you know, or Highlander two, I guess, or whatever. He's in a zone where he feels like he's just lost in this movie in a way that, yeah, even though I love Sean Connery, boy, am I glad he's not doing this kind of stuff in Lord of the Rings.

I don't know. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, like, well, cause I feel like he's, he's showing up. Like apparently the director at one point said, uh, can you do that again? And he goes, why you didn't get it. And he goes, we're paying you $17 million. You can walk down the street again. And then they said his Sean Connery's reaction was unprintable.

Like it literally was this walk down the, like do a second take. So maybe, you know, maybe, uh, yeah, I don't know if he would have liked being in New Zealand for three years. Oh my God. Incredible, incredible stuff. I don't recommend this movie. I do not. I think that's what your next question is going to be. And it's, yeah, I don't even think in order to enjoy this episode, you should watch the movie.

You just watch some of these scenes, maybe. Well, clearly, this is what they picked. This is one of their fan faves. They've already seen it, Jason. This is our fan base's favorite movie. This is the movie that in 15 years of not covering it, they were like, you simply must watch.

Well, Jason, maybe this episode is going to throw you into a turn. Yeah, I mean, honestly. Cody was in charge of making sure that the vote count was on the up and up. But what were the other ones? Do you remember, Cody? Yeah, I scrolled through a year of the Discord and the list was doppelganger. Doppelganger?

I'm sorry, Cody. Blame Paul. Thank you. Doppelganger, which was Drew Barrymore, which was the second one voted when you guys did Dracula 2000. So I thought maybe that one would come through. Then my super ex-girlfriend, which was Uma Thurman. And then the Exorcism, which was the more recent one.

And then the big hit, they really want a Mark Wahlberg movie. Wow. These are interesting. I mean, I, I think a lot of people came through Paul when we were pushing the discord to come vote. So my theory is a lot of people who don't watch the movies just came and voted. That's my big theory. I'm going to tell you this. I just pulled up doppelganger, uh, 1983, and there's a picture on here. I'm going to show it to you guys real quick, and then we can get off it. But this is the picture that comes up for a doppelganger. Take a look. Oh, what? Ha ha ha ha.

How are we not doing that? It's Drew Barrymore with her arm around a skeletal or a muscular... Like one of the bodies exhibit people. Yeah. With a smile on her face.

Yeah, she's that skeleton's a woman. Yeah, she has breasts. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. Now, I mean, we actually send me that. Huh? Hang on. Oh, no. Click on it. Does that identify? Can I message that? All right. We're off of this. We're stopping the share. All right. So you messed up a discord, but we love you. And thank you for always weighing in. But I guess this just proves one more time. Avril knows how to.

how to pick them. Yes. And that's why she is great. We love April. Although she did not pick this movie, do not blame her, blame yourself. Disband the Discord. Anybody want to plug anything right now before we go? No, just our tour. As always, we are going to be on tour, a big spring tour. If you're going to be at the Tree Fort Music Festival, you can come see us. But if you're just in

uh, Boise, Idaho, you could buy a ticket. You don't have to get the whole festival tickets. So that I just want to make sure that is clear. We are going to be in San Francisco and Austin, all these great places, Denver, uh, tickets are still available. So get them and you'll see what movies we're covering. It's going to be a blast. I'm really nice. And I will shout out, uh, invincible season three available right now on Amazon prime and, um, taskmaster season 19 coming to YouTube very soon.

Get ready. I love it. And also you can watch Rob Hubel and I every week on the dark web is a new video series that we are making. You can check it out on YouTube. Just go to watch the dark web.com. If you, it's just easier to find it. Maybe that way. All right. Thanks so much. Thank you, June. Thank you, Jason. Thank you, Cody. Thank you, Molly.

And I guess next week I'll jump back in with your corrections and omissions on this movie. Oh, God. I don't even... I don't envy you that. I'm sure the audience is going to have thoughts. Maybe this shirt should be I Picked League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Just like... I think...

I think the shirt should be no shirt. I think this choice doesn't deserve a shirt. That's it. You don't get a shirt. And with that. It's just a shirt that says you don't get a shirt. We don't deserve a shirt. With that, we say adieu. See you next time. Bye for now. Adieu. Adieu. Adieu.

Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the internet and cable TV or as your mom called me that sports gal from celebrity jeopardy. I have a new podcast called casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount, no stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found. Just laid back casual banter about home runs, hockey fights, and good old fashioned drama.

Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports, and entertainment, where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports.

Think of it as all the best things about sports with none of the homework. So whether you're a diehard fan or vaguely sports curious, Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find Casuals on the SiriusXM app, Pandora, or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to smash that follow button. That way you'll never miss an episode. Just try it. You can always unsmash it.