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cover of episode How to cultivate resilience and get through tough times (with Lucy Hone) (re-release)

How to cultivate resilience and get through tough times (with Lucy Hone) (re-release)

2024/12/23
logo of podcast How to Be a Better Human

How to Be a Better Human

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Lucy Hone: 本演讲主要围绕韧性展开,分享了她在遭遇丧女之痛后,如何运用研究成果和实践经验,走出悲痛,重建生活。她强调韧性并非与生俱来,而是一种可以学习和培养的能力。她分享了三个关键策略:1. 接受生活中的苦难是不可避免的;2. 学会选择性地关注可以改变的事情,并接受无法改变的事情;3. 经常反思自己的行为和想法是否有助于解决问题。她还分享了她在悲伤过程中的一些经验,例如,与逝者保持联系,并通过传承他们的遗产来延续他们的存在。她鼓励人们公开讨论负面情绪,学习如何与之相处,而不是回避或忽略它们。 此外,Lucy Hone 还分享了她对一些常见误解的看法,例如,经历丧亲之痛的人一定会离婚、患上精神疾病或与家人疏远。她认为这些说法并不准确,大多数人都能够克服悲伤,恢复正常生活。她还强调了社会支持对提升韧性的重要性。 Chris Duffy: 作为访谈主持人,Chris Duffy 主要负责引导话题,并就 Lucy Hone 分享的观点进行提问和探讨。他与 Lucy Hone 就韧性的定义、培养方法、应对悲伤的策略以及社会对悲伤的普遍态度等方面进行了深入的交流。他表达了对社会普遍回避对痛苦和悲伤的讨论的担忧,并肯定了公开讨论负面情绪,学习如何与之相处的重要性。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why is it important to understand the concept of resilience, especially in the context of global traumas?

Understanding resilience is crucial because it helps individuals navigate through tough times, adapt to adversity, and continue functioning reasonably well. In the context of global traumas, such as pandemics or natural disasters, resilience provides a framework for coping and recovering, emphasizing the importance of internal resources and supportive environments.

Why is it important to talk about death and loss, even though it can be uncomfortable?

Talking about death and loss is important because it helps individuals process their grief and integrate the loss into their life narrative. It allows for the sharing of stories, which is crucial for meaning-making and healing. Avoiding these conversations can lead to unresolved grief and a lack of support.

Why do resilient people focus on what they can control and accept what they cannot change?

Resilient people focus on what they can control and accept what they cannot change because this approach helps them manage their stress and maintain a sense of agency. By directing their attention to actionable areas, they can make meaningful changes and avoid getting overwhelmed by circumstances beyond their control.

Why is it important to ask yourself if what you're doing is helping or harming you?

Asking yourself if what you're doing is helping or harming you is important because it puts you back in control of your decision-making. This question helps you evaluate your actions and thoughts, ensuring they are constructive and supportive of your well-being. It can be applied to various contexts, from personal growth to recovery from trauma.

Why is it a misconception that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger?

The idea that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger is a misconception because it overlooks the fact that repeated trauma and hardship can leave individuals weaker and more vulnerable. While some people may grow from adversity, it is not a universal truth, especially in cases of prolonged or severe trauma. Supportive environments and internal resources are crucial for resilience.

Why is it important to offer both emotional and practical support to those going through tough times?

Offering both emotional and practical support is important because it addresses the holistic needs of individuals facing adversity. Emotional support provides comfort and validation, while practical support helps with daily tasks and logistics. This combined approach ensures that the person feels cared for and can focus on their recovery without being overwhelmed by practical challenges.

Why is it important to maintain a realistically optimistic outlook during tough times?

Maintaining a realistically optimistic outlook is important because it helps individuals stay hopeful and focused on what they can control. This perspective balances the need for pragmatism with the belief that things will improve, reducing the risk of disappointment and fostering a sense of resilience and determination.

Chapters
This chapter explores the concept of resilience, defining it as the ability to adapt and learn from adversity. It includes personal anecdotes from Dr. Lucy Hone's experiences with loss and trauma, highlighting strategies for coping and building resilience.
  • Resilience is defined as the ability to adapt and learn from adversity.
  • Coping with loss involves acknowledging and processing emotions, rather than avoiding them.
  • Building resilience is a process, not a destination.

Shownotes Transcript

Life can throw curveballs that you feel wholly unprepared for-- just ask Dr. Lucy Hone, a resilience researcher, who tragically lost her 12-year-old daughter in a road accident. While all of us may experience tragedy in our lives, not everyone knows how to manage it. In this episode, Dr. Hone shares the strategies that got her through unimaginable adversity and—in doing so—helped her find meaning through loss. Co-director of the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience, Hone's research is published internationally and her PhD was acknowledged for its outstanding contribution to wellbeing science at the World Congress of Positive Psychology in 2019. Her grief work now encompasses the best-selling book, Resilient Grieving, alongside other engaging online content. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy) for more information.