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cover of episode How to have curious conversations in dangerously divided times (w/ Mónica Guzmán) (re-release)

How to have curious conversations in dangerously divided times (w/ Mónica Guzmán) (re-release)

2024/11/25
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How to Be a Better Human
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People
C
Chris Duffy
M
Monica Guzman
Topics
Monica Guzman: 在政治观点分歧严重的时代，与其试图说服他人改变想法，不如尝试理解他人的观点，并从中学习。她分享了与父母在政治观点上的分歧，以及她如何通过好奇心来弥合这种分歧。她认为，将人视为谜团而非谜题，有助于保持好奇心，避免简单化和刻板印象。她强调，在跨越分歧的对话中，目标不应该是说服对方，而是建立信任和理解。与其纠缠于事实的真伪，不如关注人们的感受和担忧。她提出了“我从未想过那样”时刻的概念，这指的是在好奇的对话中，当一个人的视角改变了你对事物的看法时所产生的顿悟。她认为，好奇心和批判性思维是相互排斥的，但可以在两者之间切换。她建议，与其直接与持极端观点的人进行对话，不如先与那些与自己观点相近但存在细微差异的人进行对话，逐步建立信任和理解。她认为，意义在于人，而不在于词语，使用不同的词汇并不一定意味着观点完全对立，理解背后的含义更重要。作为记者，她的工作是理解他人的观点，并以准确的方式向他人呈现。她认为，鼓励人们讲述自己的故事，是理解他人观点的有效方法。 Chris Duffy: 他与Monica Guzman讨论了如何与政治观点不同的人进行更有效的对话。他表达了在与持不同政见者进行对话时的困惑和挑战，并寻求Monica Guzman的建议。他强调了信任在跨越分歧对话中的重要性，以及如何避免陷入说服对方的模式。他提出了一个问题，即在日常生活中如何寻找与自己观点存在细微差异的人进行对话，并寻求Monica Guzman的建议。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why is it critical to interact with and listen to different points of view, even those we disagree with?

Interacting with and listening to different points of view is crucial because it helps reduce polarization. When we only talk to people who agree with us, we tend to exaggerate and over-vilify the other side, leading to a distorted view of reality. Curious conversations can help us understand the deeper concerns and stories behind differing opinions, which in turn can build trust and reduce fear.

Why does persuasion often fail in conversations with people who have opposing views?

Persuasion often fails because people's opinions are deeply rooted in their life experiences and values. Trying to change someone's mind in a single conversation is usually ineffective and can make the other person feel misunderstood. Influence is more likely to occur when the person feels heard, connected, and understood.

Why is trust so important in conversations about truth and reality?

Trust is essential in conversations about truth because without it, discussions about what is true are often ineffective. People are more likely to accept new information from sources they trust. Building trust involves exploring where others find meaning and understanding their concerns, fears, and hopes, rather than just focusing on facts and opinions.

What are 'I never thought of it that way' moments and why are they important?

'I never thought of it that way' moments, or intuit moments, are the rewards of curious conversations. They occur when a new perspective crosses the gap between minds, making you notice and consider it. These moments enrich your understanding, reveal the complexity of issues, and can reduce the anxiety and fear that comes from assuming the worst about others.

How can we start having depolarizing conversations with people who disagree with us?

Start with people who agree with you on most things but differ on one specific issue. Begin by asking gentle, curious questions about their perspectives and concerns. Even reading opinion articles from the other side and reflecting on them can be a step towards curiosity. Gradually, these small bridges can help you understand and empathize with others, reducing the emotional labor of polarization.

What are the key elements of the conversation meter that can help in having better discussions?

The conversation meter has five key elements: time, attention, parity, containment, and embodiment. Ensure you have enough time and attention to engage deeply. Maintain a balance of power so no one feels dominated. Keep conversations contained to the participants to avoid external judgment. Use all available communication tools, including tone and gestures, to convey sincerity and openness.

Why is it important to focus on people's concerns and hopes rather than just facts?

Focusing on people's concerns and hopes builds trust and deeper understanding. It allows you to connect with the values and experiences that shape their perspectives. This approach can reveal common ground and nuance, making conversations more meaningful and reducing the tendency to stereotype or vilify others.

How can journalists and individuals alike benefit from being curious in their conversations?

Journalists and individuals can benefit from curiosity by better understanding and representing different viewpoints. Curiosity helps uncover the stories and values behind people's opinions, leading to more accurate and empathetic communication. For individuals, it can clarify their own beliefs and reduce the emotional burden of polarization by seeing others in a more nuanced light.

Chapters
This episode focuses on having respectful conversations with people who hold opposing political views, particularly during times like Thanksgiving when family gatherings can be politically charged. Journalist Mónica Guzmán, an expert in curiosity, shares her insights on bridging divides and fostering understanding.
  • The episode re-airs due to its relevance to the current political climate.
  • Mónica Guzmán's expertise in curiosity and depolarization is highlighted.
  • The challenge of conversing with those who hold fundamentally different views is addressed.

Shownotes Transcript

It's not a good feeling to be stuck in an argument with someone who doesn't seem to be listening to your point of view, especially when that someone is very important to you. So how can we strive to have deeper conversations with more respect, understanding, and open-mindedness with those who have different opinions? Journalist Mónica Guzmán is the chief storyteller of "Braver Angels", an organization dedicated to political depolarization. She shares the tools you can use to find common ground with your loved ones this holiday season. She discusses why interacting with (and listening to) different points of view is critical work – and how through curiosity we can achieve the seemingly impossible task of understanding those we tend to think of as our enemy. This episode was previously released on 11/21/22.