Date This Eligible Divorced Dad Who Won The Bachelorette
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Hello, it's I Do Part 2. I'm Jenny Garth and I'm here with the beautiful, lovely Janet Kramer. Hi, friend. Hi.

This is going to be a fun chat because we have a newly, I think not so newly, but a single man coming on and we are going to just get to the bottom of what it's like to be a single guy.

Yeah, because we always hear a lot from the single women. Exactly. So it'll be nice to hear from him and how things have been going from his divorce and everything that he's been going through. So this will be good. A man's perspective. A man's perspective. We need it because I don't know. I certainly don't know what a man's looking for out there. And I'm sure a lot of women can relate if you're not out there dating and going through the apps and all that stuff. Yeah.

I'm so curious. Yeah, absolutely. Let's bring them in. Okay. Let's do it. Today we're going to chat with someone who is in their own I Do Part 2 era. You got to know this guy back on season seven of The Bachelorette when he proposed to and married Ashley.

But like most of us on this podcast, he got divorced a few years ago, and we're going to catch up with him and hear what's going on. Please welcome JP Rosenbaum to the podcast. JP, what's up? Hey, hey, hey. Okay, let's give our listeners a little background, if you would, in case they aren't huge Bachelor Nation fans and they live under a rock like me. You were a contestant on Ashley's season of The Bachelorette. Tell us a little bit about how

long you guys were married and your sort of family as it turned out. Sure. So we met in 2011 on the show. We got married end of 2012. And

We were married for about seven and a half years. Happily had two kids who are now ten and a half and eight and a half. Wow. Yeah. We were living up in Jersey for a little bit, in New York for a little bit, moved down to Miami in the summer of 2014. And then I'm going to skip over a few years, but about two weeks before COVID hit,

we decided to get divorced. Oh, wow. February of 2020. Is that about right? It was like, it's all a blur, but yeah. What did it, what happened for COVID then? If you guys right before COVID, you decided, did you guys separate and have two houses, that kind of thing? So that, that was the tricky thing, right? So the kids were coming back from school. How are we going to sell the house? There were all these things, all these unknown questions that, that we just kind of had to navigate. So no, um,

I ended up moving into the guest room for six months. She found a place. We sold the house. I moved out. I found a place. And so, you know, it was an interesting year. But that was before...

Because you guys, didn't you do a GMA about your, I don't want to mispronounce the... Guillain-Barre. Yes, that was before. So then, because I'm like, you guys were still technically married at that point, right? Because it was...

Did you guys get back together or what was that? So that was right before. So I, we were away for our anniversary in December in 19 when I had gotten sick. And so, you know, it was obviously it was downward spiraling, but before that, but so I got sick and then I,

Two months later, three months later, we decided to get divorced. So it was a rough year. Like my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I had Guillain-Barre. Like we decided to get divorced. It was a rough couple of years. Wow. What do you think? Because Jenny and I were just talking about this. What do you think was the hardest year of marriage for you? Obviously the end was hard, but like when you can kind of look back, it was like, was it the first year? Was it the second year? Like what was the hardest that you're like, this is...

Maybe, you know. Yeah. I think 2019, you know, the last year, just because of everything that was going on in our lives, you know, we...

And we were happy, but kids came around and made things more difficult. And we stopped talking. We stopped communicating. And that permeated every aspect of the marriage. And so the last year with my mom, with my illness, then deciding to get divorced, and then COVID, it was all the last...

to two was certainly the hardest just because of the, you know, the special circumstances of those two years. Yeah. It's interesting too, because you say the seven and a half, it's like that seven year itch that everyone talks about, like that statistic. I don't even know what the statistic is around it. I was just going to Google it, but so many people it's like, all right, that's where it's the breaking point of their communication or the breaking point of what things are. It's like that. It's interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. When we heard about that recently. Oh, really? The three year, the seven. Were you like, ah. Yeah. I was like, oh, of course. I fit right in. Why did you guys stop talking? Like, what do you think from your perspective was the initial, like the, the communication breakdown? Why does that happen? Yeah, that is very, I have so much perspective now, you know, in the moment, you don't know why, you know, you just know that things are not working.

working, you know, that you start resenting each other and you start just, just everything just starts breaking down. So now that I've had time to reflect and heal and, you know, I've done my own self healing and certainly have spoken to therapists and read a lot and way too many podcasts and gone down the Instagram rabbit holes. I think that, you know, the

The baseline of it all is that we are very different people. We have very different perspectives on life and so many aspects of life. We have different love languages. We have different just we are just very different. And that doesn't really mesh. And when you start butting heads on those things that don't mesh, you

it becomes very frustrating and you, you don't know how to get past it. Even if you're supposed to get past it, like you don't know how to process it. You don't know how to accept the other person's perspective. You don't know how to understand the other person's perspective and you just start butting heads and it becomes like, Oh, here we go again. And we're not going to get anywhere. And you know, and yeah, and it just goes around and around and around. And unless you're both frustrated,

the types of people that understand what's going on, understand the problems are motivated to fix the problems. I think it can just spiral out of control where then it becomes like, I don't really care what you have to say because I know what you're going to say anyway. And I don't want to understand it because you don't understand me. And it just spirals into every aspect of the marriage.

What I find so interesting about that though, is even when you go into the next relationship, you have to still, I mean, yeah, you know, more things, you know, more tools and, you know, you hopefully do the work individually. But then when you go into a new relationship too, I mean, just like we were talking about with, you know, our husbands, it's like, you know, you still, there's still things that come up. So it's like, whoa.

what work are you going to put in to, to, to help with the communication? Right. Because our styles are so different or we're both so stubborn or, and to go, all right, because the love is still there. So I wonder when you look back and go, now that I know all this, you know, do you think you guys could have, cause to my knowledge, I don't remember there ever being some big scandal, like anybody cheated or there was like something really bad. So it's like, is the love still there? Would that have been maybe fixed? Yeah.

That's such a hard question to answer because at the, at the core of it, like I said, we're just different. And I don't know. I, you know, if, if the me of today were the me of 10 years ago, would it be different? Would she think, see things differently? Would I react differently? Like that is an endless thought cycle that I stopped thinking about years ago because there are, I hate people.

Not having an answer, something that can't be answered, right? Can't answer that. Like I definitely would have been more prepared to deal with it. And I certainly would have done more on my end knowing what I know now, but would it have changed any result? Yeah.

I have no idea. That's a tough one to answer. For sure. How are you guys doing now? You're co-parenting, which is a whole nother type of relationship. I think Jana and I both know a lot about that.

And it's not easy. It's not easy. How are you guys doing today? And how are you handling co-parenting? And what would you tell somebody out there who's listening, who's in your position and trying to co-parent with somebody that is very different than they are? Yeah, we're actually in a really great place right now. Like really great. And, and,

I will admit it took me a long time to get there. Like how long? What was taking you so long to get there? We have questions about that. What was it? How long? Yeah. I was in a definitive like funk where it's like,

I'm mad. I resent her. Was it like a defensive stance? All of it. All of it. And even things where I didn't need to say no to her on, I would do it out of spite. Like I was in a really bad place. She started dating something, someone that got, you know, that made things even worse. And so I had my own shit.

And so it was very difficult for me to get to that next place where I don't want to speak for her, but she was seemingly there much quicker than I was. And so I would say it took me a good.

At least two years. I mean, at least, you know, even when it came to dating, but that's a whole other discussion. So it took me a few years to get there. And, you know, now we are at a place where I harbor...

no anxiety for it no resentment I'm not mad I'm in a really great place when it comes to her and she and I what do you think it was though that made you be able to switch to this kind of like how did you turn the anger off I guess yeah I don't know

I mean, look, I have like I've done a lot of healing. Right. I've spoken to therapists. I have read. I have listened to podcasts. I have reflected. I have, you know, I've changed my perception of it all. And what everything that I'm holding on to, what is it? Is it?

is any of it really her or is it all just me? And unless I learn to let go of all that, I'm never going to feel any better. And so it wasn't as if I woke up one morning and I was like, oh, I'm all better. You know, it was definitely the biggest cliche of them all time. Like, but time, you know, I wish I could go back and tell me of three years ago, like, look, look where you are in three years from now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Like you don't need to think

feel all this and just know that it will get better. So, yeah. You have to go through it. You have to, you have to wade your way through it. And I think everybody's different. Yeah. And I think it's hard when there is someone else to like another man around your kids and, you know, it's hard for the woman too. And there's another woman around the kids. And so I think that adds a whole other element, but then when you start to separate and go, okay, as long as they're loved, but if there's issues with within that, then it just adds more complication.

Yeah. I remember when they first started dating, I was like, I don't want him to come to any baseball games. I don't like, no, no, no, no, no. I will make a scene. Like I was, I was ridiculous, you know, now like they've been together for, for a while and he's, you know, the kids love him and his family's nice to the kids. And like, it's a, it's a good dynamic. So, but, but,

Two, three years ago, man. Like, no, I was like, yeah, but I think that's a great place to be to be because it's like, I have, you know, I know also that feeling of just being so angry, but then, and another friend too, that's dealing with it as well. But it's like, what is that actually doing for us? Like, that's not good for us. And there's no,

anything that I say to my ex isn't going to change or he's not going to ever, he didn't understand me when we were married. It's not, there's no reason to understand me now post-divorce, you know? So it's like, why am I wasting my energy on something where it's like,

What is the point? Right. No, totally agree. Like I've explained it to some people who are like, you know, the triggers are still there. She's still her. I just give less of a now and, you know, and that's not going to change. So I just have to change. I just have to think about it differently and process it differently. And I can only can,

control what I, how I react, you know? So I like to do a lot of unsent messages and emails. Like I just wrote one the other day where it was just an email. I ended up not sending it, but I needed to just say it out loud. Cause I know that what, if I press send, he wouldn't care what I said. Right. It doesn't, it doesn't matter.

But it mattered to me to get it out. Wait, can you unsend emails? I'm so curious. No, I'm saying like, so I don't actually press send. I just kind of write like a note, you know. I wish I could actually go back and unsend. You can. It's like a five second. You can unsend text. You can unsend. I'm pretty sure you can unsend emails. Yeah, but these are more talking years ago. I'd like to get rid of that evidence of anger. No, I think you're screwed. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Speaking of screwed, are you dating anyone? No.

That was a nice segue. I like that. Thank you. No, no. There was a pause. Well, because it's a no. No, it's a no. I'm dating, sure, but there's no one serious. I'm going through the motions of dating. Okay, wait. So this is exciting. You're dating. Are you on any apps? Because I have to be, yeah. Which apps are you on? I'm curious.

Hinge and Bumble. Why are you getting red? Because it sucks. Like I feel, I just, every guy says this by the way. It does. Yeah. It really does. Do you prefer Hinge to Bumble or Bumble to Hinge? I'm indifferent. I don't care. I think they are equally, um,

triggering they trap you like it's like nobody's serious you know there's fake profiles like everyone really endless options so like no one really pays attention so you kind of got to sift through the haystack to find the needle and you know every once in a while you do meet someone that that that you know makes sense and then you can date but it is it's exhausting and it sucks um

And not being from South Florida, from Miami, I don't exactly have a huge network. And the age I'm at, I don't exactly have a new huge network of friends and single friends. I want to set me up with friends. And it's not like I'm going out to bars. I'm not, you know, meeting people organically. I would love to do that. Well, it's also, you're kind of limited too. It's not like you can move. Right. So it's like, I always, when I started dating Alan, it's like, I, he lived in England. I'm like, I can't move. I have to stay in Nashville. So that was kind of where, when I was, you know, dating, it's like, it,

If it doesn't make sense, like why continue on? You know? Because it's like if this person is landlocked there and I'm landlocked here, what is actually the point? Right. Totally agree. So it's like when you're on there, it's like how, you know, it's like you obviously wouldn't move from your kids. They're at a beautiful, fun age. Like you wouldn't move. Yeah. Not until college. Right. That's a while. That's a while. Yeah. How old are the kids? 10.

10 and a half and eight and a half. Yeah. Oh yeah. You're stuck there for a while. So you don't have a lot of friends that are setting you up. So talk to us. I don't know, Jana, have you ever been on a dating app?

I was on Raya. You were on Raya. Okay. Yeah, but that app was ridiculous. Ridiculous. It was just- Wait, I have a funny Raya story. My ex-husband, Peter, I was told, was on Raya. And his age, whatever range that he was looking for, was also the age range of his oldest daughter. So she came across him on her thing. Stop. Yeah, no. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

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So I'm pretty be honest. Hey, after that story, you can ask me anything. I'm an open book. I'm 32 to my age. I'm 48. So I'm all over the place. But only because it's a needle in a haystack. And, you know, technically, if you make the haystack bigger than needles. Do you believe age is just a number?

Do you date older women? These are two questions. Let's attack the first one. So it depends where you are in life, right? I think that you can certainly fall in love with, with,

with a woman that's, you know, significantly younger, but you know, if she hasn't been through a lot from a relationship standpoint, if she wants a family, if she doesn't have her, her career's not getting going yet. Like there's there, it depends where you are. Like the timing has to be right. And then age is but a number. If that makes sense. Would you like the person to be a mom or does that not? I think it helps, but it's not a prerequisite. Like I think it helps. Yeah.

What have you met somebody that had like five kids? Do I have to support them? Because if I have to support them, then it's probably a hard no, but it depends on the dynamic too, right? Is she a full-time mom? Does she have all five kids the entire time? Is it 50-50? So there are so many factors. Like I don't want to rule people out, but that's, I mean, a

single moms are the hardest working people I know. And so if the father's not in the picture and she doesn't have help, like that's hard to navigate, right? You know, like how is she ever going to have enough time for us when she has that? So there are so many factors and I don't like to pigeonhole and I don't have checklists and I don't have any of that. It's kind of, you have to

Play it by ear and see who this person really is and what they can offer. We talked about younger, but you didn't talk about older yet, JP. I'm waiting. I think you said to his age, right? How old are you? Yeah, it's set to my age. 48. Yeah. But would you date older? I don't know.

Again, it's not a no. Look, I don't rule anything out because people are people. And like, if I'm exposed to an older woman and we click, like, sure. But there's not much exposure to it, given, I guess, how I'm meeting people and everything.

I'm not in a position where I'm meeting a 55, 60-year-old woman. It just doesn't happen. So am I opposed to it? I don't like to say no, but you never know, I guess. I feel a little excited because I feel like we've got a lot of listeners out there who are looking for love. I feel like there's also a lot of people, too, in the Miami-ish area. It's a disaster. It's got to be. Really? Yeah.

fucking disaster. What, what makes it a disaster? Cause I'm like, man, there's so many people that go there that you could, that. Well, let's just put it this way. It's the only fans capital of the world. There is a, there's a lot of that around. Like I'm not a Miami beach guy either. I'm in the suburbs. I'm on the mainland. So it's,

I don't know. I feel like there is a lot more, and I'm sure every major city has this, but I just feel like there's a lot more superficial bullshit to navigate in Miami. So it's not as easy as one might think. Okay. So let's get to the nitty gritty. We need this info straight from a man. What gets you to swipe right on someone's page? How am I supposed to...

make the decision based upon five photos and a PR setup bio that like is or is not how the person really is in real life. For me, it's

As long as, obviously, I'd like to be attracted to her. So some level of attraction and something witty, I'm swiping. Because, again, and I'm sure you've heard this before, it's kind of all about the numbers, right? You're going to swipe 30 times and how many times are you really going to match? And so if there's something there that's intriguing and that just, you know, I don't have like a formula. Mm-hmm.

if I'm attracted and they say something kind of funny and you know, it gives you, what gives you the on dating apps? It's so weird. So on dating apps, like that, that they would do in their profile. Like for me, I, if a guy had a mirror selfie, I'm like, you're out like no mirror selfies, mirror selfies, back ass shot in a bikini. Like, no, stop. Like, wait, you don't want any ass photos. Well,

Not like, if not, if that's how you're attracting men, like, of course you're going to get a million swipes, right? Like I'm not like, is it nice eventually? Sure. But like, that's not, that's, that's not going to cause me, it doesn't give me the ick, but it's like, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone because they're looking for. You're also a data too. You know what I mean? Like. Right. Right. Yeah. All that. Yeah. You know, there are people that, and again, I don't know if these are fake bios or not, but there'll be like,

you know, not vaccinated. Like, why are... Like, is that important today? Like, why is that so important that your limited space in your bio that you're going to put not vaccinated? I think that tells a lot. Is that like a warning? It does, but like...

Yeah, I know. You're, you're, you're ruling out a whole lot of people on one thing. And is it really that important to you today? I don't know. There are little trigger things. I'm not a political guy, but you know, no Trumpers like, okay. Like, is that that important to you where you're not going to meet someone? So there are people, I guess it is, I guess. I just want to meet cool people that I click with and we get along and

And, you know, that at the end of the day, we make each other laugh. I can see being their best friend. And, you know, we're in it for the long haul. All that stuff matters, but does it matter?

Do you said no ass pictures? What kind of pictures make you swipe? I got, I really need to give her a list. Yes. Let's see it. Let's see who's in your feed. Am I using the right terminology? Cause I've never been on an app. I'm trying to see if there's, is it a feed? I'm trying to see if there's an obvious. I don't know. I don't know how it works. Of course. I'm not going to come up with any. I'm trying to see if there's an obvious one where it's like, this is what I'm talking about. This is what you get a lot of.

Your likes. Yeah. Who's liking you? I'm working on it. Who are you liking? I'm curious with being on the apps too, because I thought about doing Hinge for a second because it seemed kind of cool or whatever. And I really did not like Raya. But is it hard for you when the people recognize you? Do you have anything about Bachelor on yours?

Yeah. Okay. I would hope not. I mean, that'd be scary. But like, yeah. But like, do you, do you like it when people don't know who you are? Yeah. Like the anonymity. Yeah. Yeah. And do you kind of go like, uh. Yeah. Because then they've already got something in their brain as far as like who I am. Yes. But it's been so long now. I mean, we're talking 14 years ago. So people either forgot like, oh, you look so familiar, but it doesn't get there.

The 30-year-olds probably wouldn't know. The 40-year-olds would know. Yeah, true. So it happens. Have you had anybody flip out and be like, oh my God, I met you. Then they finally meet you and they're like, you were on The Bachelor? No, I haven't had that happen. I mean, I've had a couple where they didn't know. And then after the second or third date, they're like, oh, what's your Instagram? I was like, okay. And then they're like, wait a second. And then it clicks. And it's a funny conversation, but it's never...

And it's never in the way and it's never in your face and it's never, you know, anyone crazy about it. It's kind of like, oh, that's a fun story. And you move on. Show us your app. Jenny's living vicariously through you. I want to see. I want to know what it is you're swiping on. Oh, you want to see my matches? Yes, everybody's listening. They want to know, like, how can I match with somebody like JP? If you live in the Florida, Miami area. Yeah. Hold on, let me see.

I feel like if I ask you a question, it's going to distract you. So I'm trying to just give you time. I know. I'm like, I'm holding my question. I haven't spoken to her, but this is someone where the pictures were not Miami, right? There was like normal pictures in the wild, like,

Kind of like, this is a terrible word to use, but normal, right? So I don't like sunglass pictures because I think that's kind of a cop-out, but... Don't wear sunglasses, you guys. Okay. Yeah, don't wear sunglasses. Yeah, just like she's adventurous. Oh, that's, yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, normal. Pretty normal. There's no like bikini babe shots. There's no like boobies in your face. I'm okay with a bikini shot. They're out in, she's out in nature. But Miami, I mean, you will see, I mean, it is...

It is. It's like the bathing suit capital of the world. It's absurd. I've just titled it. Yeah. Yeah. Sons out, buns out. I get it. So I have to take breaks from the apps too, just because...

It affects your mental health. It really does. Yes. It really does. 1,000%. I talked to a girlfriend who's on the apps and she's, and I remember what they say. It does. It affects your mood and it's depressing. How? Does it make you feel like, oh, I'm not good enough? No, it's just, it's kind of an endless pit of just...

Yeah. Like I can't even know. I mean, it's just that, that aren't your person. And so it kind of gets defeating and. Yeah. You feel. Yeah. Agreed. I mean, I, you know, I'll swipe and swipe and then like 20 minutes I'll go by. I'm like, what am I doing? Like, I just like, I got to give my brain a break and you know, it's, I don't know how successful they really are and define success from it, but like,

It's, you know, there's just seemingly an endless supply and nobody cares. And like, it certainly is a self-esteem killer. What's your like first date when you do find a match and you set up that first encounter? What is it? Is it a coffee date? Are you going out to get a drink? Yeah.

It depends. Like I've had, so I don't want to waste anyone's time, their time, my time. You know, I think that if you're, if there's witty banter and you're talking or texting and you meet up for the first time, I don't really drink these days. So going for a drink is not ideal, but coffee or a walk on the beach or grab a smoothie or let's something where it's

Enough time to get to know them, but you're not stuck three hours on a dinner date with someone that you don't really know if you want to be around. I think you can tell a lot. You can certainly gauge in that first hour, no matter what you're doing, whether you want to spend more time with this person. I'm not saying they have to be the one, but like, oh, that was cool. She's fun. I'd see her again. So it varies, but simple things.

Coffee, smoothie, walks. Just to like test the water. Yeah. And find out if there's an attraction there at all, like in person. Because have you ever gone and met somebody and they look entirely different than their pictures? No, that's never happened. Okay, good. I've never been catfished. I have had a couple where I was like, oh, you know, let's go grab a coffee. Like, I don't do coffee, but you can take me for dinner. I'm like, fuck.

you like how do you like no like so if they want you to buy them dinner they're out it wasn't like why don't we go for dinner it was like buy me dinner and i was like look i i i pretty bold i would like i'm not going to let you pay but how do you where do you how do you get the balls to say that to somebody we're like i'm not going to meet you coffee but you can buy me dinner like no you well

Well, maybe she doesn't like coffee, first of all. And maybe she knows her worth. And she's like, I'm worth more than a $2 coffee. I would also say if she ended it with a winky, I would say that. Like my personality is like, I actually don't drink coffee, but I'll take dinner if you winky. Like that's different. And personality is very hard to gauge in a text unless you over emoji, right? So this was not, there was no winky, no smiley face, none of that. It was like, I received it as,

Dead serious. Like I don't do coffee, but you can buy me dinner. That's how I. Sure. So. It's interesting. All for self-worth. Yeah. But like.

This is these are two people here. Like we're in this together. And I'm not saying you're worth any less because I don't want to commit to three hours with somebody. I don't know that we don't even know if we're going to like each other. Like, why would you want to do that? So once we know that there's something there, like I will make it known how what you're worth, like I will recognize your worth. But I don't agree with the.

self-worth analysis off of the first date, like the first encounter.

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Do you want to get married again? So I would. I don't have to. I want everything that comes with it. The legal side of it, if she does great, if she doesn't great, I want the partnership, the friendship, the love. I want everything that comes along with it, but it doesn't have to be

legally bound from all the things that you've listened podcast wise and read books on that you've learned from your previous relationship what would make you be like i would be a good husband because i'm you know great at this like that you've learned that maybe you weren't the best with ashley um that's a good one um i was not the best listener um

I was not the best. Not only was I not the best listener, but I would also judge based upon somebody else's perspective. That wasn't my own. Like, no, you're wrong. Like, how do you not see it my way? I've done a complete 180 on that. So I know when to listen. I know when to shut up. I know when to, you know, I know when to, when, when my advice is desired, right.

You know, I've dated a woman where she just wanted to vent. And like, it took me a while to understand, like, she didn't want me to try and fix it. But I was able to communicate to get to the point to know what she really wanted for me. So I think my communication and listening has gotten night and day better.

You know, that's good. That's good. That's such an important quality. A lot of men think that a lot of men think they want me to fix it. And then you get frustrated and then you get angry and you know, it just is this unhealthy cycle. And I used to be like that. I can fix it. I can fix it. And that's not necessarily what needs to happen. So, um,

So you've learned to be a better listener. I've learned to be a better. I love that. And listener. Yeah. That's great. And that's an amazing quality in a man. So do you, do you think chivalry is dead?

Are you a chivalrous guy? Totally. I open doors and, you know, I could, I am all about manners and it's how I was raised. You know, I think, and I think it's about how you pass it on to your kids too. So it, but for me, it's not, I mean, I, I'm all about that. So. Do you have a, um, a,

a timeline of when you would introduce something? Like, have you ever introduced someone to the kids? And then what would that timeline be? Yeah, I haven't. Uh, uh,

I haven't yet. You know, initially I was like, no, you know, no one's meeting my kids unless this is going somewhere and this is serious. And so for a few years it was like, well, they haven't met anybody. And I think it's important. You know, I'm glad that Ashley's in a relationship where the kids see her, you know, social with, with a partner. And I think that's important for the kids, but I do think it's important for them to see that I am happy that, you know, that I can't, that, that,

that I date, I'm more open to having them meet someone earlier now than I was years ago, because I think it's important for them to see that. It doesn't necessarily have to be, this is my girlfriend. It could meet a friend at the park and she just happens to be there. And like, oh, this is my friend, so-and-so, so-and-so.

I am more open to it these days than I have ever been. I was pretty guarded and, you know, I wanted to shield them from it. And so I feel differently today than I did back then. Makes sense.

Can we get a specific again for a second? I want people to really understand what a guy is looking for. Like you, like what a guy like you is really looking for. What, like, what, what does she look like? What, what are you attracted to physically? I have dated the spectrum. So I honestly, at this stage of my life, like,

the attraction comes with the personality. So, you know, just because 20 years ago, maybe I had a type. Yeah. You don't have a type anymore. I really don't. I really have dated the spectrum, uh,

ethnicities, heights. I mean, you name it. Like I've dated the spectrum and I'm big on personality. I like when there's banter. I like when there's sarcasm. I like that we, you know, that she can make fun of me and I can make fun of her and you just kind of keep going. And, you know, I, I like when you can tell that somebody is engaged in a conversation and wants to know more about you and asking questions. And so I try to reskip, reciprocate and do the same. And so I'm looking for that flow, right?

Yeah, emotional intelligence sounds important to you. I mean, look, yes, I have to be physically attracted to them, but that also...

can evolve to, you know, because in 20 years from now, like that's all gone for both of us. And it's like, you know, we're left with the other person. And I think the way you communicate and the way you, um, you make that sound so awful. I'm just going to say, you said 20 years ago, raising my face in 20 years, it's all gone. And I don't look the way that I look right now. And then she doesn't look the way she looks right now. Like,

You know, sorry. No, I'm married to a younger man. So I get a little scared. I'm just saying, look, so it was a terrible way of saying looks fade. Like, you know, and the attraction just comes on many levels. So I'm, I'm,

I'm attracted to the personality type and that's, that's what I'm looking for. That sounds very mature of you. Very evolved. I know when I got divorced, I don't know if this happened to you, but one of the times I got divorced, I started dating all different types of guys, like short, tall, big, little, like it was, people were so confused. It was like whiplash, like,

Because each one was so different than the next one. But I had to do that because I didn't know. I didn't know. And I also was like, you know what? Their body doesn't really matter to me. It's what's inside and what that connection is that stimulates me. So I hear you. I agree. I mean, look, ultimately, like, yes, you want them to take care of themselves and like –

make an effort and, you know, be active because that's what I want to do. And so your, your interests also need to align. Like lifestyle. Lifestyle. Thank you. That's what I meant to say. So that's all important, but I am, I am so tired of all the noise that is out there with regards to like,

you know, red flags and like, like they didn't respond to via text. And like, I can't overanalyze anymore. I can't overthink. I can't, I can't do any of that. I can't handle the toys anymore. The games. Oh my God. There's too much out there. And so, and it creates a sense of me not being me. And so I've, I'm back to just really me being me and I know what clicks and what works and feels good. And, and I'm just going to focus on that.

I love that. How is your health too? Is it something where does that syndrome, does it ever come back or is it? Uh,

Uh, yeah. So there is a chronic condition that you can get. I don't have that. So for me, it was a one-time thing. It's one in like 200,000 people get it or something like that. So I've had no, you know, ever since I learned how to walk and button buttons again, I've been, I've been fine. That sounds like terrible. Yeah. Very funny. I heard you mentioned something about alcohol too. Has your relationship changed with that?

I mean, I was never a big drinker to begin with, but I had dated someone for four or five months where she was sober for five years. And so whenever we hung out and went out, like we never drank. And then I was like, holy shit. Like, I feel great. Like, I don't need this to connect with anybody. I don't need this to have fun. And I wake up the next morning after a great night's sleep and I feel fantastic. I was like, wow, like, what do I really need?

want this for so yeah from that point I just really stopped yeah I mean agree I'm the same way I rarely drink now just because I don't want to feel like crap the next day and it's it doesn't just it's not just one day it lingers on for for weeks you know so I'm just like what for what reason and I've got a little so I'm just like I don't want to be tired no and as you but I feel like there is more conversations about alcohol I don't know if it's just us in our 40s you know and plus but or if it's but I

I feel like I've heard that it's, that's dropping a little bit too. Definitely. Definitely. Oh, I'm 40. I'm gonna be 42 in December. Happy birthday. Wait. Okay. So if the opportunity came around, would you be open to finding love or even getting married in your case on TV?

Like if they did like a 40, like if they did like a golden, because we're golden. Hey, easy. Not golden. We're not golden. A sparkling. We're golden, but. A sparkling. You guys are shimmering. Okay. A shimmering bachelor in paradise. Would you do it? So I never say no, right? I don't want to close doors, but I'm in the stage of my life where

I have kids to think about. I have a career. Like I can't put any of that on hold to go on a reality show. Right. So I never say no, but I think the odds are low, slim. You know, I'm, I'm,

I'm about, I'm all about opening doors and unless you do it, you know, you don't know, but there are, there are different factors at play today than there were when I went on the show, you know, 14 years ago or whatever it's been. So.

Never say never, but I've got other priorities right now. This is so exciting because if someone is listening right now and they're, and they're maybe interested, what, how could, could they slide into your DMs? Do you do that? It's happened. You know, it's happened, but if look, this is the silliest cliche, but like,

I, you got to shoot your shot, right? Even if you get shot down. So if there's no other way that we're ever going to meet other than doing that, I would say, yeah, do it. Now, you know, am I going to answer? Am I going to be open to it? Are you getting like, I don't know. But, you know, I would say you've got to create opportunity if none exists. So go for it.

So there's that everyone, JP Rosenbaum. I mean, DM him on Instagram, give him a slide in. He's 48 years old, lives in Miami, Florida, real estate developer, father of two. So like, let's, let's hook our friend up here. I'm not relying on that, but thank you. We'll see what we can do. Yeah.

I love matchmaking. So I'm going to really keep my mind open. Yeah. You're out in LA though. So you've been to me, right? Yeah. And you're in, you're still in Nashville, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

There's this thing called airplanes. So I've heard of that. There is. I've heard of that. What do you think about a long distance relationship? Would you do that? Would you be open to it? I think there has to be an end game, right? I think you just do that indefinitely. And like Jenna said earlier, like you live there, I live here. If no one's moving or there's no potential for us to live together, that's, that's hard to do. I don't want to waste anyone's time on that. Right. Yeah. So, yeah. Well,

We have to say goodbye. But this has been fun and really interesting to get inside at the head of a single man in his forties, what he's looking for. So thank you. Yeah. And you're doing the work and doing awesome. And you know, like you're a great dad and though just you deserve a great love within all of that. Thank you. Thanks for having me on guys. I appreciate it. Thanks. Thanks JP.

So sweet. He's really sweet. Do you have someone you think would make a great fit for JP? Are you interested in JP? We'll shoot your shot, email us or call us. All the info is in the show notes and we're going to put some info about JP up on our socials. Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two and I heart radio podcast. We're falling in love is the main objective.

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