Everybody Here Hates Me with Taylor Strecker
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Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps and

And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They

They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens, when you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you. So are we supposed to start the podcast?

Ready? One, two, three. I love it. I mean, just the rock star of claps. It's Judge Judy Diana.

I was hoping you'd forgotten about that. Judge Judy Diana reporting for duty. Judy Diana, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is personalized license tags on cars. Oh. First of all, no one gives a shit what you have to say on your license tag. I mean, that's fucking ridiculous. Yes.

Here's the ones that I've accumulated over the last few weeks. Oh, you brought receipts. I did. My yacht, spelled without the A. God rocks. Just tag. Like, I'm like, why wouldn't just random letters be better? Letters and numbers. It's me. I-T-Z. It's me. And then my personal favorite is spoiled. Spoiled.

What the fuck is wrong with people? I mean, really? I have long called these douche tags. They're douche tags. It's a personalized license plates.

are it's a red flag in motion. Yes, it is in these, these red flags are parading around. But here's the deal, we can either be mad about it, or we can be have gratitude that these people have identified themselves, right as a, you know, you have to stay away from them immediately. Absolutely. And I do sometimes I, I get a whole narrative in my head, like spoiled, I was like,

What do we think spoiled is? Do you think her husband's super controlling and he wanted her to advertise that got this car? I mean, I spin this whole narrative of their license tag. Like, it's the me thing.

What are you fucking vanilla ice cream? I mean, let me ask you this. Do you do a fantasy ass chew of the offender? Like where you would be like, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah, I totally do that. Like in my head. Yeah. I'm like fantasy conversation where you're like, listen up, you fucking moron. It's me. Well, who the fuck do we think it's going to be? Right. It's your car. Of course it's you. Yeah. And why do you fucking have this on your...

Tag, you stupid idiot. I think my first question would be, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, why do you feel it's so necessary to grandstand on your license plate? Because typically that's the most boring thing on the planet Earth. But I guess it does give a little entertainment while you're driving. Because I did. I put all these in my phone as I'm driving because I'm just like, stupid assholes. But let me ask you this. Should we just do a ban on...

I don't want to do a band because some of them are so fucked up. I dig them. Right. You know, it's fun to view other people's crazy. Yeah. And you just sit back and think, you know, as crazy as I am.

And all the stupid shit I've done, I'm not announcing it on my license plate. At least I haven't put that red flag out. You bring up a very valid point because that is something, all the shit we bitch about that drives us crazy really enhances our life because it further confirms for us and our listener that we're all fucking nuts, but we could be a lot fucking crazier.

The worst part about the crazies is the people that are the craziest that don't think they're crazy. That's really what I enjoy most. Somebody that's just a fucking nut but has no idea about it. The lack of self-awareness. Yeah. It's like going to see a play on Broadway. It's like they believe the shit they're spewing. Yeah. It's, I like it. Yeah. Yeah.

As an observer. No, crazy people are kind of fun. Yeah. I mean, I don't want him in my life. Right. But I do like him at a distance. Yeah. A reasonable observation distance. Yes. I agree with that. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I've had it with people that don't understand compound feelings. Oh, that's a big one. I'll give you an example. I love Josh.

However, he's been driving me crazy lately and I've been having homicidal thoughts regarding him. Right. I think that's normal. It's totally normal. Or maybe a listener could be like, I love Jennifer and Judy Diana, but Jennifer sure is bossy towards Judy Diana and I'm not going to listen to them anymore. Right. It's like they can't hold two truths at the same time. And so many things in life...

are gray. Like you love your husband, you love him the majority of the time, but sometimes you want to strangle them. Right. You love your children would do anything on the planet for them while at the same time they drive you fucking crazy. Absolutely. And it's the people, the black and white thinkers and black and white thinkers are often braggers about their black and white thinking. Yeah. I think that's probably true. They brag about it.

it. They're the ones who everything it's an all acceptance or an all opposing. And I just, I, I like, can you not like, we have these brains that are really like the most evolved on the planet, right? Out of all the species, allow your brain to hold two truths at the same time. Right. But I do remember growing up cause I was raised very black and white. There was no gray. And I do remember the compound feelings like epiphany.

Right.

What you're saying is, is you're a really shallow thinker and borderline a non-thinker. Right. It could be said, a non-thinker. Yes. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. I've started to call her Judy Diana. And that's short for Judge Judy, Princess Diana. Now she's just Judy Diana. Because as Pumps has said before, Josh and I nickname everybody. And so now Angela, who was Angie...

And then Angelina, Pumpkin Tina, and then Pumps. Tina Full of Pumps, you forgot. Tina Full of Pumps. Now we're going to just Judy Diana. Right. We're just making a break for it. But see, I refer to like Pumps as being your proper name. And the nickname for Pumps is Judy Diana. I remember when they had those initial necklaces. They were super popular a few years ago. Yeah. And I had on an A one time. And you go, why do you have an A on? And I was like, because it's my initial. And you said, oh, yeah, I was thinking Pumps. Yeah.

that. I was like, who is the A? Right. Because I thought it should for sure be a P. P, right. Okay. So before I kick it to Kylie, I just want to share some alarming news that I read about in the British press. So there is a Montana LGBTQ plus family that is crowdsourcing to raise 4,000 pounds, which is around $5,000 to

to flee the state of Montana because their laws are so dangerous and scary. And so one of the things the legislatures in Montana is doing, which Oklahoma follows very similarly to this, is they are proposing a bill that would stop LGBTQ plus people from bringing claims of sexual orientation or gender identity discrimination in areas like employment,

housing, healthcare, and education. And this article goes on and on. And this is not the American press.

And so for all of you that, you know, dip into our comment section and say, oh, you guys are trying to be woke. We are watching civil rights erode in front of us. And that is horrible. It's horrible and it's embarrassing. And it just makes you think these people that are making these laws have zero empathy for

They don't give a shit about anybody but themselves. And I just can't help but think they're not evolved thinkers at all. I think they're probably black and white thinkers. I think you nailed it. And I think they probably flex about being black and white thinkers. And this is so horrible because most of these people say, I love my freedom.

That's what drives me the most crazy. You cannot love freedom and then want to regulate somebody else's sex life. You cannot love freedom and want to control another person's body. You cannot love freedom and do the book banning. I mean, it's just like, it's counterintuitive. It's an oxymoron. So if you just want to say, I'm a racist, homophobic bigot, I would have more respect for you than, oh, I'm a, you know, I have freedom of speech. My First Amendment rights.

bullshit. You're not. The only thing you give a shit about is everybody believing what you believe and doing what you think is right. And guess what? Out of 310 million people, nobody's going to think alike. I mean, they're just not. Well, and how boring is that? Oh, it's missionary sex, deluxe city. Ha ha ha.

Listen to pumps throwing out. I just get mad about it. No, I get so mad about it. And I get mad that these conservative legislatures are trying to pass laws that legalize discrimination based on sexual orientation. And it is so horrible. And we've had it. Had it. Had it. Kylie. Hi. How do you feel about me and pumps?

I love you guys. Oh, we love you. I think earlier she hated us. She'll never say that, but I could tell. I've never hated them for the permanent record. I love them. It's okay if you do. You can love us while situationally feeling hatred. We allow our friendships to have that type of space and that type of compound feelings. That's

That's good to know. Yeah, you can in situations hate us even though we know that deep down you love us. And we give each other permission to do that to each other. And we're now inviting you in on that. I want to get... You don't have permission to hate me ever though. It's got to be straight love across the board. Okay. It's a one-way street. I'll try. Okay, so we had a listener write in. Okay. And this is something she really wants to bring to your attention. Okay. Her name is Stephanie and she writes...

Jennifer and Pumps, I only recently found your podcast and I love it. I'm 73, so probably not your normal demographic, but it makes me laugh so much. I enjoyed your episode about gender reveal parties because I too think they are just plain stupid, not to mention dangerous. With that in mind, I just read on HuffPost about a new trend that is horrifying. This trend is called period parties.

They are put on by parents when their daughter gets her first period. All the food is blood themed and goodie bags contain period products. This sounds like something you ladies should check out. Oh my gosh, Stephanie. I love that you're 73 and just found our podcast because number one, you can get on podcasts, which is something I couldn't do. And Stephanie, you're so much closer to pumps his age. So that's why she feels comfort in that. Right. She's closer to my age than you are four years versus 20. Okay.

First of all, I just... Why would anybody want to announce and have a party about somebody's period starting? I mean, I just... I'm flabbergasted by that. I mean, I get like giving period products to people. I mean, I don't have a problem with that. But like, what the fuck is wrong with these people? I almost think that's worse than a gender reveal. I mean, I've never heard of it until now. So I have to process it. But that...

It's nobody's fucking business. I mean, I was horrified when my mom told my brother that I started my period. I mean, I was, I remember it so clearly. So I can't imagine that that's the kind of information you want your parents sharing with their friends.

Well, I, I agree with you. I didn't start my period till I was like 16. I was 15. Super late. So all of the friends had all started their periods. And I remember they'd be like, did you get yours? Did you get yours? So if you're a late bloomer, like, like we were, and then you're one of the last to get it. It's like you've, I don't know. It's just, I mean, whatever you want to do, but that just seems really fucking bizarre. Yeah.

Seems like a boundary violation. Is this happening in America? Did you look it up on HuffPost? Yes, America. And I did look it up and I saw images. There's like a red and white cake that says congrats on your period and decorations that say menstruation celebration. And just they invite all their friends. What's the psychology behind it? What I read is that the idea behind it is to de-stigmatize kids.

Period. Okay. I don't think just because something is private, it has to be necessarily stigmatized. Yeah. I mean, I see the de-stigmatizing it. I think instead of spending the money on that...

I think you should spend the money taking your child that started their period, say this is totally normal and what we're going to do since I can afford to get you tampons and pads is we're going to go buy a bunch at Costco and we're going to take them to a shelter to give to women that can't afford them. I think that's a great idea. And I think maybe that would be a better way to do it because if you want to de-stigmatize something that women are stigmatized enough, I support that component of it. But having like a birthday, I mean a period party where you have

Blood themed food. Ew. Ew. I like the idea of destigmatizing. I love the idea of giving people less fortunate period products. I'm all for it. I just think the whole party thinks stupid. I'm just going to put it on the permanent record. I think menstruation parties are unnecessary and stupid. Permanent record. Menstruation parties. Stupid. Also permanent record. Give free period products to people. Right.

Contain yourself on the party. It's, you know, one day when we're dead. Right. The permanent record will live on. Because of Joe. Yes. The permanent record shall live on. And it is so chock full of great ideas.

You know, some books last, you know, like you've got the Iliad and the Odyssey. You and I have the permanent record. Right. And it will live on long past our lives. I can't wait if we have grandchildren for our grandchildren to look at that and be like, who are these nuts? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, anyway, that's our, that's our pre-show. Now it's time.

Now it's time for Judy, Diana and I to move on to the interviewing portion of the podcast. And I would like to welcome the host of Taste of Taylor, Taylor Strecker, whom we absolutely adore. Let's get Taylor Strecker on here.

Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps.

And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They

They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens. When you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you.

This podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Let's face it, sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming. Like when your favorite podcast is playing and the person next to you is talking and your car fan is blasting all while you're trying to find the perfect parking spot. But then again, sometimes multitasking is easy. Like quoting with Progressive Insurance. They do the hard work of comparing rates so you can find a great rate that works for you, even if it's not with them. Give their nifty comparison tool a try and you might just find getting the rate and coverage you need is easy.

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This podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Let's face it, sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming. Like when your favorite podcast is playing and the person next to you is talking and your car fan is blasting all while you're trying to find the perfect parking spot. But then again, sometimes multitasking is easy. Like quoting with Progressive Insurance. They do the hard work of comparing rates so you can find a great rate that works for you even if it's not with them. Give their nifty comparison tool a try and you might just find getting the rate and coverage you need is easy.

All you need to do is visit Progressive's website to get a quote with all the coverages you want, like comprehensive and collision coverage or personal injury protection. Then you'll see Progressive's direct rate, and their tool will provide options from other companies all lined up and ready to compare, so it's simple to choose the rate and coverages you like.

Press play on comparing auto rates. Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Comparison rates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

Taylor, our good friend Taylor, welcome to I've Had It. Hi guys. Hey girls. Hey, I have to say my moniker. How are you guys? We're great. We were just at lunch talking about how excited we were to have you on because you're so much fun. Oh, really? And when you guys just said I was your friend, like my heart just kind of like dropped to my butt in a good way. So thank you for that.

So we were recently on your pod and we totally bonded. I felt like it was like a total bond experience. We were so excited to have you on our pod so that our listeners could experience the razzle dazzle chemistry of you and pumps and me.

I mean, the amount of DMs I got, like the mashup I've been waiting for. We have a lot of fan overlap or a lot of listener overlap, which I, again, my heart dropped to my butt. I was very proud of myself because you guys are iconic. But yeah, I had so much fun with you guys. I got such a great response to the podcast. So I'm so glad to be back here, ladies. Thank you. Yes. Okay. Taylor, as you know, this is a space...

Where we're going to shit talk. You know that, right? Needs it. Yes. I mean, we got it. We have to do this to be able to function as adults. We have to like have a place, you know, like, you know, that sounded dump truck makes. That's what this is. We're going to dump all the excess grievances here. So right out of the gates, tell us what you've had it with. Oh my God. I've had, I've had a week. So I've just had it with like every fucking person in my life. Yeah.

What have I had it with? I've had it with mansplaining, but from women. Because I don't think people realize that. Mansplaining is a thing. And when you hear from a man, you kind of just like, I will like, it's totally fine. Like, they're just mansplaining. Men will mansplain. They'll do as they do. But like this week, I've had friends, family members, spouses who have vaginas. And they have been fucking mansplaining to me. And I'm like...

Like, wait, you don't have a dick. So like, it's actually more offensive when you talk to me like. Yes, I agree. It is more offensive when a woman mansplains. Oh my God. And where are they learning it from? Like, I thought we were supposed to work together to combat mansplaining. But like, is it, are they learning it from other men? Or are they like trying to match their big dick energy? Like, I just don't understand where this is coming from. Like we as women, it's like, and this is so sexist, but I'm going to say it.

Like when there's, let's say a man and a woman, there's cheating that goes on, right? The mistress always gets more blame than the man and it's not okay. That's right. It's what happened. Right. But a lot of times women will say, well, like women should know better. And so it's like the same thing with mansplaining. It's like we know better. So it's even that much more egregious. So I've had it with being mansplained to by women for sure.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I totally agree. I mean, there are some times where in business settings, where I'm on the phone with somebody, and we've already discussed all of the highlights that we need to discuss. And then they do a circle back in to just repeat everything that we just did. And when it's a guy, I totally get it because he's grandstanding, you know, he's got to have this moment, the ego is oozing out. But when it's a woman, I'm always like,

Huh. That's interesting. Right. We just like we just established all of this. Why are we circling back and going over everything again from top to bottom? Like it's we're done here.

Let's move on. Yeah, exactly. And like the only time it's appropriate to repeat yourself in woman world is when like you're mad about something and you don't want to resolve it. And I totally co-sign that. Like when I am complaining about something, it's like, I'm not looking for a resolution. I'm just looking to bitch and repeat myself over and over and over again. But yeah, when you're working on like something business related or that's like,

It does need an end result. I just I can't with the with the woman mansplaining. I mean, but woman explaining doesn't even like cover it. Right. I mean, what could you even call it? It's just vagina explaining vagina explaining vagina. But I want to lean into something you just said, because we haven't talked about this. And I think this is so important and so underreported how sometimes you just want to be fucking mad and stay mad. And that's OK. Right.

Yes. Yes. I get that. I get that to the core of my being. And she and I allow each other to do that with, but sometimes I'm so mad at something. I have to fantasy ash chew in my head. I have to call pumps, role play with her where I fantasy ash chew with her.

Before I go to bed at night, I might ash chew it some more. Same with her, vice versa. And she'll tell me like she was recently fantasy ash chewing something to do with her children's school. I allowed her the space to be fucking mad for three or four days. I didn't try to talk her off the ledge.

I didn't tell her she was being crazy. I didn't tell her her anger was irrelevant. I was like, I get it. And I'm grinding my teeth. I'm here with you. Like I'm angry too. Yeah. That's being a good friend or a good partner. And yeah,

I, you know, I'm a late in life lesbian just to catch your audience up in case they don't know anything about me.

Go ahead. So I was with a lot of men, like not like in a skanky way, but you know what I mean? Like I had like a like a lot of relationships with men enough that I can speak to the heterosexual experience. Right. And like, of course, again, not to be sexist, but we expect men to be like, oh, my God, like what's the solution? You're talking in circles. I'm sick of hearing about this drama. And.

when I got together with my now wife, I expected like just a shit talking fast. Like that would be our lives. Cause all my girlfriends and my best friends growing up, like that's what you do. Me and my mom, you just talk things to death and you validate each other and you never, ever make the person stop and you repeat yourself. And it's just like, it's the most bonding thing on the face of the planet. And so I thought my wife would just like acquiesce cause we're both women and she was

has the littlest tolerance for my drama out of anyone I've ever been in a relationship with and it drives me insane. Is this a pitfall to later in life lesbianism? No.

She tricked me. She is the most straight acting, straight acting woman, lesbian I've ever known in my life. Like so many friends that I have that are lesbians, like they do the, here's the thing, all the bad qualities, like,

of female relationships are in my relationship. All the good qualities of female relationships somehow have a status. I mean, I'm really shitting on her right now. I adore her. I love her to bits and pieces. She like is my puzzle piece.

Which is the gayest thing I've ever said. That is pretty gay. I like it. I think it's sweet. I do too, but I like it, but it is really gay. I like it. Okay, Taylor, when we did our email with you to prep for the episode, you zeroed in on something you've had it with that is totally in my wheelhouse.

And this is about suburban Karens. And number one, I've been sounding the alarm on this podcast about the suburbs for quite some time. So I want to hear your take on the suburbs, suburban Karens, because I think there's a lot of fuckery going on in the suburbs. So, okay. So I have been with my family now for like about a week and I'm losing my mind. But

I live, you know, I've lived in New York City forever. I recently moved to Jersey City. Don't hold against me, but it's still very like NYC adjacent. So like I'm a city gal. I run errands and like I walk everywhere. And I will say I love the idea of like getting in my car and driving to the grocery store. But I've been doing a lot of driving when I'm here because like I'm the de facto errand runner, which, you know, get me out of the house. I'm glad to do it. But by doing so, I've been encountering a lot of other human beings also running errands.

And the amount of looks I get, like, like, I feel like I'm constantly in trouble, but I know I'm not doing anything wrong, or at least I don't think I am. But it's like the way that these women, okay, especially when you're driving down the street,

And people, we live in a town, it's like coastal. My parents are outside of Boston. And there's really like, they don't believe in sidewalks here. Okay. So it's like people take walks at their own risk as far as I'm concerned. Right. So it's like, you've got to like, you have to edge the side of the road. But these Karen's with their golden retrievers. And then they had the gall to look at me coming around a corner, like slow. Everybody has slow down eyes. And it's like, I'm going crazy.

15 miles an hour. Like how much slower can I go? I'm like 20 miles under the sea limit. It's just, but like, I feel like I'm perpetually going to the principal's office here. And it's just, it's just the looks, but like, I just feel like I keep like, even at the grocery store, I just feel like,

I'm like, I think there's a set of rules of the suburbanites that like I did not get like the blueprint on. And so I am like breaking rules left and right. Although I will say this and this is so obnoxious. So I wouldn't call me an influencer, but like I do influencer-y things for my job. Right. And I,

I was doing like a VIP video for my Patreon. I was making my grandma's meatloaf. We call her Muffner, Muffner's meatloaf. So I was like vlogging grocery shopping because the grocery store is so gorgeous. And the entire grocery store, patrons, workers,

And one guy even hit my cart into me and like I got it got caught in my trench coat and I like fell over and he didn't even say he was sorry. It was like psychotic. I was making enemies left and right at the grocery store. I feel like in New York City, if somebody is like taking video in front of a slice of Velveeta, you just like let them live, you know, but I always do like some sort of witchcraft or something. Yeah.

Taylor, I have to tell you, if I saw somebody blogging at the grocery store, I'd probably give them a dirty look. I'm not going to lie. I mean, I would probably think in my head, are you so important that your grocery list has to be

On the internet. That's probably what I'd think. But I wouldn't think that about you because I adore you. And I get the whole vlogging and Patreon and all that. But since I do live in the suburbs, that is a perspective that I would have. I think both can be true. I think the suburbs are fucked up. And I think that...

There's a lot of fuckery going on in the suburbs and there's a lot of entitlement and a lot of homogeny and I could go on and on. But I also kind of tend to agree with Pumps about the vlogging in the grocery store. And Taylor, you know, we love you, but I mean, this is a space where I have to say the dirty looks and the eye rolls were probably warranted if you're grandstanding making videos in the grocery store. You know what? I'll take the L. I'll take the L. It's my fault.

I did it to my damn self. Yeah. I mean, the whole thing, I'm like, it's not even usable content because I'm whispering. And I'm like, I just keep going, everybody in here hates me. It's like, no.

At least you had self-awareness. See, that's a win for me. Oh, man. It is disrupting, though, when you are like when you're out like we were on summer vacation and everywhere we went, everybody's just like if you're at a restaurant or at a site, everybody is filming their life for Instagram. And the lack of awareness of what's going on around them, it's it's it's become kind of irritating.

And I could see that if you're a grocery shopper, which I hate going to the grocery store, and you run into bubbly, late-in-life lesbian Taylor whispering like a psycho up and down every aisle, mad at her wife, I bet I would totally eye-roll goddamn city you for sure. There.

And then I went there. I've been to this grocery store a lot. I'm really, they're going to ban me. My wife and I went there and she was so hungry. When she gets hungry, she's like, it's like a child who's hungry. She blacks out. I think it's like, you know how sharks, great whites, their eyes roll in the back of their head when they chew. Right. That happens to her. Yes. So she was like, I need chicken fingers. So we like went to the deli and she like treated the deli as if it was like her own personal bar. And she like pushed big, huge bags of bread, fresh bread.

fresh baked bread like over to the side and she plopped down and she like went and got like a ketchup and opened it. I mean, she had like a couture au ment. It was crazy and I even had to be like, honey, it's like, we're giving, we're giving a lot of lesbian New York City entitled energy right now. She opened

It was. Yeah. I've, you know, I should probably not go to that grocery store ever again. Okay. Upon further reflection, maybe go to a different grocery store. Yeah. Maybe go terrorize another grocery store in the suburbs with this rampant New York city lesbianism. Go wait, let everybody in the suburbs. No, you're not safe. Motherfuckers. My wife and I are coming for you. I like that. The gay agenda is in full swing. Yeah.

And she also, my wife always says she gets horny in grocery stores. Don't ask me. I have to. She's like groping me. She's groping you in the grocery store. Is this before or after the chicken nugget? After. She had to first fill her stomach up before she could focus on groping. Okay, let me ask you this. How do you and your wife feel about PDA? Yeah.

Okay. So it's like a multifaceted question. Okay. So we are very affectionate and I want to be clear affection. It doesn't necessarily mean we have like a rampant sex life. Okay. Like we're just like, we're so like cuddly and kissy. And we also both work from home. So we can be PDA ish like all day long, but it's not like in front of anybody, you know? Right. But I think whenever we're in public, like today, I went to get coffee and take, grab my boob. Cause you know, like how could you resist it?

And there was like a creepy guy that was like, I don't know, like washing the windows off his car at the coffee place. He was a strange one. He had like a big long cigarette. Like, I don't trust a man that smokes a hundred, you know? Like, I agree. I agree.

It's a turn off. It's kind of a pissing. Totally agree. All right. Totally. So he's like, has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He's cleaning his like jalopy of a car. And he kept looking at us because we are in, of course we are because we're lesbians. We're in a Jeep Wrangler. So he was looking at us and I said, you can't grab my boom in front of the weird guy because

Because he might come over and try to attack us. So I'm very hyper aware of like lesbian safety when we're in public. So like we'll hold hands in the city because the city feels pretty safe. But if I see like, you know, like somebody that just looks a little bit off, I'll drop her hand because I just don't want one more reason to give like a kook in New York City to approach us. So maybe we overcompensate for PDA in places we feel safe.

Okay. Because we feel like we have to kind of like we are always on guard. Does that make sense?

I have some questions. We have to talk about what types of PDA it is. Is this just a kiss on the cheek? Is it a French kiss? Are we grabbing crotches? Are we grabbing titties? Define for me what, if you're in a safe space for lesbians and the lesbianism feels secure, describe for me what type of PDA that you and your wife engage in, and then we're going to give you our feedback on it. Okay.

Hand holding. Okay. Like definitely like hugs. A lot of times Tay like hugs me from behind, if that makes sense. And I'm not trying to make like sexual innuendo. You know what I mean? I know what you mean. Yeah. Lots of kisses on the cheeks. Okay.

Kisses on the lips, but I'm not like a tongue girly. So I've never wanted to make a French kiss happen. Like even in private, I'm like, okay, that's enough. Okay. Okay. Yeah. It's just, it doesn't, the tongue just feel, honestly, I've had it with the tongue during kissing. I just feel like it's so middle school. Like you're trying to prove that you're good at it.

Like, we're almost together 10 years. Like, just give me a... Like, just use your lips and keep it moving. You know what I mean? Right. I don't have time for this tongue. So that's basically it. She... I never do this, but she is a boob grabber. And she almost, like, forgets that she's doing it. I have to always remind... But I'm always, like, shutting that down. Right. And then when we do love a vagina pinch, but that is... We know that's naughty. And, like, that's, like, a little, like...

Like, we have... It's almost like we know we're doing something bad. So we're not just, like, freely... What do we call it? Yeah, I guess we call it gina pinches. So you're not just gina pigeon as you're walking down the street. You have to be in a super-duper safe place. Yeah, so I call... We call my vagina pudgina because it's pudgy. And then...

Her vagina is vagina because it's skinny or vagina because it's felt. So we'll just she'll just be like, but you know, and then it's just it's almost like a karate chop. Right. It's more like just like teenagers playing grab ass kind of thing. I think all your PDA, I don't have too big of a problem. Yeah, I don't either. I don't have too big of a problem. And we've kind of made some exceptions in a lot of our roles. Like we have a role that we've had it with couples sitting on the same side of the booth. We

We just recently updated our permanent record to exclude gay and lesbian couples from this because they're already under attack enough. So if you and your wife sit on the same side of the booth,

We're not going to be see you next Tuesdays today about it because we've grown. Right. We've evolved and we're enlightened over here at I've Had It. Only straight people can't do that shit. Only straight people. Straight people get the fuck out. Okay. We're going to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. So if you don't like it, had it. If you like it, hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it.

I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay, Taylor, had it or hit it, thongs. Oh, had it. So sick of it. Hate them. It's like dental floss for your ass. I don't like it. I agree. Also, TMI, but whatevs. Don't we all? I have hemorrhoids. Are you kidding me? No way.

And here's a little secret about roids to all of you sprightly things that have never experienced them. They never officially go away. So I don't need a pair of underwear. That's like the mortal enemy of something that's attached to my body. So that's a no-go. Okay. I agree. Had it or hid it erotic dreams? Had it. Really? I am the prudest lesbian you'll ever meet. I like...

I just, you know what they make me. So when my wife has them, I've had it because then she wants to have sex. And it's like, I'm so happy your sleeping brain reminded you that we haven't done this in a while. Yeah.

And then like, she woke up this morning. She's like, I had a dream that really had sex. I was like, well, I hope that satisfied you because we're at my parents' house. And if my brother or family members have sex, I will die. So, and then I don't know. I, so I very rarely have erotic dreams, but when I do, I, I like they can get steamy, but like,

I always am like frustrated in the dream trying to get to the orgasm. And so I just like, there's no satisfaction. Do you know what I mean? And I'm not going to wake up and masturbate because I don't know how to do that. So I like blue laid myself. So I'm not, I'm not here. Okay. I just have quick follow-up question. When you do have these rather frustrating erotic dreams, are they with men or with women? No, I,

I guess if they're with the woman, it's usually with my wife, which I know sounds like bullshit, but I'm like, I always say like, I'm straight. I'm just in love with my wife. So I guess it would be, it would be men. It would be men, but don't tell my wife. She gets so mad.

I like a bisexual dream. I like, Taylor, that you're not just over the moon having all kinds of erotic dreams. I've only had one in my whole life. And around here, everybody has them like in multitudes of 10. Tell her who your dream was with. Okay. So I've only had one in my whole life. I was on Ambien, just for the record. And it was with two women that happened to be twin sisters, which I know is weird. They were women basketball players at the time. Okay.

So she gives me shit about the incestual lesbian dream, but it was a hot dream. I mean, it was a total go all the way-er. But I'm just glad I'm not the only... I feel sexually repressed when I leave here sometimes when it's like, oh my God, we have like...

20, 30, 40, 50 wet dreams a year. And I'm like, really? Something must be wrong with me. Well, it's because you're in the closet. That's what's wrong. That's what's wrong. Exactly, Taylor. I've been diagnosing this. Our listeners have jumped in. I just think, I mean...

The dream that you had, Pimes, ambient or not, is as gay as it gets. It just doesn't get any fucking gayer than that. And there's one thing I have to tell you, Taylor, that is a very important detail. It is the sole, solitary, wet dream that this 53-year-old woman has had in her entire life.

Furthermore, she watches softball like a nut, knows all the softball players' names, hates shopping, yada, yada, not to do all the stereotype stuff because I'm a huge supporter of lesbians. I love lesbians. My favorite pickleball partners are lesbians. My hot podcast host is a lesbian. That's how big of an ally I am. She's got a gas lighter in the thinking she is. Pumps, do you drive a Subaru? No.

No, I do not drive a Subaru. I do not. I'm going to get you one. No, we're not getting me a Subaru. All right. All right. Had it or hit it, McDonald's. Oh, hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Now, I'm not sexual about sex, but I am sexual about McDonald's. I love McDonald's too. I like the fries. I don't like the other stuff, but I do love those French fries. The fries are good because they're salty, I feel like. Yeah. Oh, my God.

And you can actually, when you order like at the place, now it's all like touchscreen or like if I, I post mates McDonald's at least once a week, which is the most interesting thing ever. But you can add salt to it, which I always do. And I get a number seven, which is two cheeseburgers.

I have one because it was epic. And then the next morning, if I'm hungover, which is usually always because I love to drink, you stick it in the microwave. In the paper, this is a Chrissy Teigen tip for 35 to 40 seconds. It comes out hot and melty like the cheese and like a little pillow of McDonald's heaven. It is to die. So I love it. Hit it. Okay. All right. Had it or hit it. Nose-picking. Nose-picking.

I'm a hitter. I love a good nose pick. Don't we all? Doesn't everybody? Yeah. Don't we all love to pick our nose? I mean, just to get it all cleaned out, get all the crust out. Yeah. I mean, I like all that shit. We're trying to bring, we're trying to platform and normalize nose picking in private. Right. Not in public, but in private. And putting it in a Kleenex.

No, like wiping at places or flicking it like my kids used to do when they were little. They would flick it at me. I'm like, really? We oppose booger flicking. Booger flicking is out and I've had a podcast. I have a question. Okay. Does it count? So is it considered private if it's in your car? Because, you know, that's the debate. It's like because it's technically in public. No. But it's in your own space. No, I would say that that is public.

And we all know that when you pull up to an intersection and you look over and somebody's just full blown, you know, dumpster diving in their nose, you don't want to think about anybody else's boogers. That's disgusting. Totally.

Your boogers are very satisfying and personal to the picker. Anybody else's boogers, I've completely had it with. I want no part of it. See, I have absolutely zero conscience issues if I sit up there and just pick my nose in the car. I'm like, fuck it. It's my car. I'm not flicking it on them. I don't care if they look. Do you get busted? Yeah, I'm sure I do. And I'm just like...

I'm in my car. If I've got a good one up there, I'm going in in the car. The greatest thing about Pumps is, I mean, her give a fuck meter has been broken for years. And it is so, it is the best. Okay. Last one. Had it or hid it. Late in life lesbianism. Use her. Obviously hid it. I love that.

When you first told us that, we were like, oh my gosh. Jennifer's always like, pumps, look at Taylor. Yeah. It could be Taylor. Yeah, I do. I think that you are a shining light of exemplary lifestyle for pumps to follow suit. And she's not that sexual. You're not that sexual. She's a nose picker. You're a nose picker. She found her soulmate. I think you could find yours. I think there's just been, we just went to lunch before we filmed this and

And she was like, we were talking about her ex-husband and she was like, you know, I just think in the future, I mean, I don't really want to date anybody, but I would just be so choosy. And in my, I let her go down that road. But in my mind, I just thought if you opened it up to women, it's going to be a whole new ballgame. I so co-sign this, Poms. Like I am telling you, it's like, I, we really have a lot of similarities. And I think that the

I think the lack of like the sexual dreams and stuff. I think that I was repressed because I remember when I was married to Wasbind. So my therapist, when I was married to Wasbind got me out of my marriage to him. He was like the greatest therapist.

But like pretty shortly thereafter, and I kept seeing my therapist after we were separated, I was like, I'm strangely attracted to my friend who's a lesbian. I only have one lesbian friend. And I, now that I'm like a free bird and I'm like on the road to divorce and I can do whatever I want, I want to make out with her. And he was like, I'm not surprised at all. And I was like, but I'm not even sexual. That seems like there's like heterosexual. And then there's like bisexual feels like black diamond skiing. You know what I mean? Right. And so he was like, no, he said, I think that you like you're,

Like, you're very asexual, but I think it's because you've been so repressed by like your upbringing, the Catholic Church, yada, dada, dada. So he said, I don't think you even let yourself go there. Like, but you're a big lesbian. Yeah.

That's exactly what I say to pumps. You're a big lesbian. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Taylor, this has been a total treat. It's so effortless to talk to you. It is. I love how self, where you are, how funny you are, self deprecating. You have our kind of humor.

And I love the example that you're setting for my friend, Pumps, who I've just recently nicknamed Judy Diana. Always a different nickname. Now, Taylor, you are so much fun. I totally understand why everybody loves your show.

Oh, thank you so much. I feel the same way about you guys. I mean, I know we can't like podcast together like all the time because we like have businesses to run. But like I'm here anytime you need me and like vice versa. I'm obsessed with you guys. Seriously. You're so great. Thanks so much, Taylor. Thanks for taking time. Yes. Bye. Bye. Well, Pumps, there is inspiration all around. She's a breath of fresh air. Love her. I mean, she really is just easy.

I love that she's going through vlogging her grocery trip and the whole time. We had to call her out on that. We could not let that go. I mean, here's the deal. I love to beat up on the suburbs. I love to beat up on shit. I love to trash talk shit. But when she was kind of trying to defend the crazy look she was getting when she's running around whispering with her cell phone vlogging in a grocery store, it doesn't matter if that's in an urban area or suburban area. She's the problem. Yeah.

I just love her so much. I do too. I love that she immediately goes, y'all are right. Immediately. I'll take the L. Yeah. She took the L like a champ. She took the L like a lesbian. Yeah.

Listener, go to Apple Review. Give us five stars. We have a goal to try to get to 10,000 reviews. So please help us meet that. Patreon, all the extra content that you want. We post on there two to three times a week. Hot shit tour. All the stuff that you want to do with us. Voice memos to the I've Had It account. Voice memos to the Instagram. And then pumps you tell them. Judy Diana. See you next Tuesday. Bye. Bye. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Charity.

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