What the Hell Is Wrong With You?
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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Oh, that was shit. That was total dog shit. Okay. One, two, three.

better but not my best it's a bad sign i mean this is going to be a great episode regardless of your inability to start it off properly that's i mean let's hope let's hope so a star like you you're not a one trick pony no i've got lots of tricks yeah i mean that's just if if the podcast lived and died on that clap we would have been over a long time ago yeah it's inconsistent it's been really good lately so you can bank on that pumps what have you had it with

What I've had it with, Jennifer, is the Department of Motor Vehicles. Oh, yeah. That's awful. I've had it with the incompetence. I've had it with the attitude. And I've had it with making simple things so hard. None of this shit should be so hard. Had to go get all my new tags for the cars. So I go in there.

And the first thing she asks me is, are you paying cash or credit? And I'm like, well, I don't know. I don't know how much it's going to be. And she's like, oh, and I'm like, can you tell me how much it's going to be? Well, no, I can't tell you. And I'm like, well, then why the fuck did you ask? Then she takes each insurance, each car, she pulls it up individually. So she takes the first car and then I have to go sit down.

And then she takes the second one and she hand writes all this shit. I was probably in there 45 minutes to get car tags, which should have taken approximately...

Two, three minutes at tops. The inefficiency. Why don't you mail in your car tags or do it online? Well, I didn't know you could do that. And then I just got the one for Sam's car. And that's what I'm going to do. It's sitting out on my desk. Like, that's the first thing I'm going to do. I haven't been to the DMV in forever because everything's online now. I mean, I just didn't know you could do that. Yeah. You just got to stick with me. I could have steered you. Maybe that's why they punish you when you go in. They're just like these fucking idiots that come in. Probably that. And could you imagine working there? Yeah.

No, but here's the deal. I was being nice. I was being friendly. I was like, okay, you know, dah, dah, dah. And she was acting like I was bothering her when she was sitting in a bubble bath. I'm like, honey, you're at work. You're not in a bubble bath.

This is your job to do this car tech at the glacial pace. But anyway, I did get it done. My next one, I'm going to do not in person. I'm just going to mail it in. Let me ask you this. When you have a series of issues in a 60, 90 day span, wherein you don't receive what you perceive as good customer service, do you ever think to yourself, am I the common denominator? Absolutely not. Never. I was just curious. No, never. Never.

All right, let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I have had it with monthly memberships, a gym. Kylie has one at a tanning place. And it's some local racket you're a member of. Right. And when you want to cancel the membership, cancel.

They mandate that you have to come in and do it in person or it's not canceled. Right. Because they just think you're going to give up. I think that is total exploitation. I'm a member of this gym and I want to cancel it. And I've called them multiple times and said, I just want to cancel it.

And they say, I have to go in there. They make you do the walk of shame. And it's like, this is 2023. Everything's digital, right? Everything's online. And I don't want to go in there. I just want to stop paying for it. Yes, immediately. Well, but here's the deal. I think they just assume you'll give up and forget to go in there and they can charge you another month. Then

Then it'll go another month. That's why they make money on it. It's exploitation. Yes, it's consumer exploitation to where you should be able to go give your, and I don't have a problem with them saying, you know, 30 days. Right. I don't have an issue with that. It's the in-person dick over. Yes. Kylie, don't you have some sort of tanning membership that you never use? I pay a hundred dollars a month for this tanning membership that I literally have not used in years.

Because every time I called to cancel, when I would remember, I'm like, oh, I should cancel that. They say, come in. So I've just let it sit for years. See, you're the... I'm like, fuck it. It's worth $100 to not go. Right. See, this is why they keep doing it. I think that they just know that you forget about it most of the time. And if you have to go in, you're not going to prioritize it. I have an idea. Okay. You're an attorney. Right. Why don't we have you write a document? Okay. That you demand that it be...

uh canceled immediately and that their policy of in-person is somehow prejudicial like maybe kylie is agoraphobic or she has a fear of getting covet etc etc right or maybe lesbians don't like to go cancel tan memberships whatever who knows what the reason could be right and then you don't you have like a notary seal yeah let's make official documents and you could sign you know

We could prepare an affidavit. Yes. And then I could write a letter on my letterhead with the affidavit and say, I need to see proof of cancellation in five days. Yes. Yeah. Let's do it. Okay, let's do it. People's Court.

I still don't really know what that is. Oh my God. Because you're too young. It was so good. It was so good. I loved it. The People's Court was so good. Doug Llewellyn. Yeah. Yeah. I always got him. No, I think that's what needs to happen. Yeah. We'll do it next week. Yeah. All right. Welcome to I've Had It, where we are canceling in-person cancellation memberships through our in-house attorney. That's right. I've had it. Pumps. Attorney at law. Yeah.

Membership canceler extraordinaire. Now people are going to assume that they just send me their membership to where to cancel it and I can cancel it. It'd be a great side hustle. It would be a great. Let's see if I can get it done with Kylie first. Let's get an LLC whipped up. Right.

All right, Kylie, do you have any documents or anything you want to share with us? I have an email from a listener. Okay. And we don't talk about this, but a lot of people send us, they write out their I've had it's instead of over voice memo. So I thought we'd read one today. Meredith emailed us and said, ladies, I wanted to write in to tell you what I have had it with. I've had it with women who use the word tribe to describe their friend group. You are not a part of an indigenous group.

You are a white Instagram mom and sitting in a circle drinking wine does not make you a tribe. If I hear I'm so thankful for my tribe one more time, I may actually implode. I'm going to start reporting these bitches on Instagram and Facebook. It's my mission in life to see all of them blocked. I must stop the infection. She's so right about the tribe. She is so right. It's 100% white Instagram moms that have the tribes. Yeah.

But I have something pretty hilarious to share with everyone right now. Okay, what is it? Josh Welch has the word tribe tattooed kind of up here on his shoulder slash collarbone. For what reason? Okay, so let me explain Josh Welch's tattoo journeys. Okay.

When I first started dating him, I was in my late 20s and he was in his early 30s. He had like one of those Pamela Anderson style tattoo anklets with the barbed wire. Right. Those were popular. And then like maybe some peace symbols. And he had like two tattoos that he had gotten just the year before meeting me. So zero tattoos until like the age of 30, 31. Okay. Okay.

So then I would be at home and then he'd come home and he'd have saran wrap wrapped around some bodily part of his. And he had gone rogue to the tattoo shop and gotten more and more tattoos. He has a, uh, the tattoo that says tribe, because that's like his relation with me and the boys. Like we're his tribe. You're his tribe. Okay. Then he has a tramp stamp above his ass with the own prayer on it.

He does. He has a tramp stamp. He has a tramp stamp. He has some like Chinese characters here on his forearm. And somebody asked him the other day, like, what does it mean? He goes...

Honestly, I don't even fucking know. He doesn't even try to fake it anymore. He used to be like, I think it's diversity or something. Right. You know, he has our family nicknames. So which was because he changes those all the time. So it's Denise, which is my middle name, which is the worst nickname.

worst middle name ever. Denise. Dawn's bad. Yeah, Dawn. D-A-W. Those are horrible middle names. So it says Denise and then he calls Dylan Shoes and then he calls Roman Broman. So that's tattooed. So he has all of these tattoos but he has a tribe name

And I can't wait to read that. Yes. Next time we guest him, Kylie, I just want you to say, hey, Josh, I got an email. Let's just cold read it to him because I don't think he listens to the episodes unless he's on them. Right. Right. Well, of course not. Why would you assume that? I also want to let you know he came in here today before this episode to let me know that if we want him back because he has become such a big star that I need to reach out to his reps. Right.

Right. Get him in the chair from now on. Right. And he wears reps, me pumps. It's funny because he said that same thing to me and I was like, who your reps? And he couldn't come up with any. He just thinks that's, it's just a real, sounds cool to say. Real knee slapper. That's just real funny. You know, he did give a dad joke the other day. I'm like, what is going on with the dad jokes? And he's like, I know it's bad. I was like, stop. He did a dad joke. And then he's just like, I'll tell you what he's been doing a lot.

I mean, we'll be at a restaurant and we'll run into somebody. He's making you look quasi normal with this. He'll ask people questions that you know are going to solicit a long and lengthy and boring and unclever and uninteresting and unfunny response. And I sit there and fucking suffer through it. Then the person leaves and he goes, God, he's a yak mouth.

I'm like, well, gee, I wonder why. I wonder why he felt that he could stand there as I have a fork in my hand with my bite on it. Right. Because somebody kept fucking feeding him cat food. Yeah. And that stray cat just kept answering. I'm glad somebody's worse than me. It's Josh. It's bad. Okay. It is. That's a group that I want to be. And then I'm in a situation where I'm a forced listener. Forced listener. I've had it with being a forced listener. Yeah.

You do it to me and Josh does it to me. And I'm a force listener. Probably our listeners feel the exact same way. What a heaping pile of dog shit. Instead of saying listener from now on, I'm going to say listen up, forced listeners. That's great. That's great. All right, Kylie, are we going to hear more? I think it's a voice memo day, right? Yeah. Oh, good. I love voice memo days. Did you welcome the pod? If I did or didn't, let's do it again because he heard I've had it.

We dot our I's. That's right. Cross our T's. Welcome to this forced listening hour. I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is the pretty one, the old one, I'm the young one, and the smart one. And I'm the youngest. And the gay one. Yeah, there's two gay ones. I heard a voicemail the other day that they said, Hi to lesbian podcasters and Jen.

I love it. Okay. You know, pumps, so many of the things that we've had it with, we can't do anything about. Right. These gender reveal parties, despite our best efforts, they keep going on and you read about them in the news nonstop. But one thing that we can fix is perimenopause and menopause. Thanks to our friends at Happy Mammoth.

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All right, up first, we're revisiting a topic from McKinsey. Okay.

Hey, y'all. I just have a comment about the scrub abuse, the scrub fraud, because I've had it too. I saw someone, a stay-at-home mom, with the most peace and love for all stay-at-home moms, but a stay-at-home mom wearing scrubs. And everyone said, oh, like I thought you were a stay-at-home mom. She said, I am, but I just come in contact with a lot of bodily fluids, a lot of blood. And so I think I should wear scrubs.

bitch get a grip you don't need scrubs on that is the most ridiculous out of touch thing I've ever heard and I had it with that ridiculous oh man that is scrub abuse to the nth degree listen I'm gonna let you take it from here because I beat up on these women all the time why don't you give Kylie some shit to chop up and spit out on Instagram I'm not as hateful as you but I'll try

I think that the scrub abuse, here's what my mind goes to. She obviously wants people to think she's a doctor or a nurse or a dentist or somebody that would wear scrubs. Why she is saying to people, I get so much bodily fluid on me is fucking stupid. I think that's a wannabe. I think it's a huge wannabe. And I think you'd be better served just owning who you are running around in your Lululemon clothes.

I mean, why are we wearing scrubs? I think this is a crazy fucking person is what I think. I think so too. That's nuts. I think this is a cuckoo for Coco. Yes. I think she's... She might also be trying to get laid on the side, thinking that people think she's got money because she's a physician and that she's going to have an affair with him. Because I think that's why guys do it. Wearing the scrubs for cock? Yes. Yes.

Scrubs for cock. Scrubs for cock. Hashtag scrubs for cocks. I mean, you went right there. I didn't think so. I think this is a cuckoo for Coco that's been at home watching children's shows with her kids. Now she's at a state where she can probably drop them off at school. She's like, what the fuck's going on with my life? And so she thought, you know, kind of in a crazy bender, like she's online. She's like, fuck it. I'm going to buy some scrubs. And she just started wearing them.

You know what? Sometimes I think it would be liberating to be that fucking crazy. Yeah, it would. No boundaries. I'm just going to start wearing fucking scrubs. What do you do? Do you work in the medical industry? No, I'm a podcaster. I know what we should do. What? We should make, I've had it podcast uniforms that are scrubs. And you know, they have those cute little jogger scrubs now. Yeah, they do. And we can put our logo on.

On the scrubs. Yes, we'd never have to worry about we wore again. We're just going to start wearing scrubs. If you can't beat them, join them. Yes. I'm ordering scrubs. That's a great idea. You're always thinking. I am fucking chock full of good ideas. Chocked full.

Not chalked. Chalked full. Chalk full. Chalk full. Yeah. Do you know how scary it would be to go to the doctor and they're wearing eye pads at scrubs? I would love that. I think what we could do though, this would be really fun. So like, let's say we have an in-studio guest, right? So they come in.

And the receptionist, Hoffie, downstairs could be like in scrubs as well. And he could be like, hi, what time is your appointment today? Would you please sign in and write the reason for visit? And then we'd have a clipboard with like literally 15 different pages. And I mean, we could get so much information. Like if you ever had an STD, we'd fill it out. Yeah.

And then before they come on the pod, they have to go in the bathroom and change into scrubs. We need the booties for the feet. Yes, with the sticky stuff on the bottom. Yeah, do you think anybody would do that? That would be kind of a fun test to try to do. Pumps, you would do it. You'd fill out that social so fast. Oh, yeah. We know I would. Yeah. But I just, I wonder if we could get somebody to walk in here in scrubs if we were like, oh, here's your outfit to be on I've Had It. Yeah, probably. Yeah.

I like a clipboard asking them all about their medical history, relationship, what religion you are. What drugs are you on? What sexuality? What drugs are you on? How often do you drink? How often do you smoke? When was the last time you smoked? When was your last period? When was the last time you had intercourse? I mean, just all of it so that we could sit down and say, so, so Jared looks like you got laid 48 hours ago. Why not last night? What's going on with you?

I think it'd be liberating to be that crazy. Yeah. I think the mom is fucking ridiculous. I've had it with her, but also I kind of want to be that crazy. Why does she get to be crazy? I'm going to wear scrubs because I get bodily fluids on me. We're wearing scrubs because we have to keep a very sanitary podcast studio. Right. No germs in the podcast studio. Yeah. That's what we can say. Yeah. And we can just say it. I love that. Yeah. Great.

Great, Kyle. I did not know that voicemail was going to take this route. Yeah. Thanks for bringing that to our attention that we've been neglecting work uniforms for the podcast. All right. Up next, we've got Katie. Paget and Pumps. It's Katie. I've had it with the GoFundMe abuse that I have been seeing lately online. I mean...

Should I just start a GoFundMe to have all of my student loans paid off? Because that's what people are doing these days. I literally got a notification from my cousin of his GoFundMe to help him get through school. He's asking me to help him pay for his schooling on GoFundMe. I've had it.

I have a great idea. What? I'm going to start a GoFundMe for our new scrub uniforms. Again, why does everybody get to be fucking crazy? Why do we have to be on the moral high ground all the time? I want to wear scrubs and I want you to fucking pay for them. I think she's so right. The GoFundMe thing, it just, what I always think about when I see these stupid, crazy ass people with the GoFundMes, I think who is putting money into those?

Like who would actually do it? But people do, obviously. You know, those fucking nuts that are on trial in Georgia. Everybody's got to go fund me. I'm like, let them fucking burn. They did it. Let them pay for it.

You mean the... Defendants in the Fulton County case. Oh, in the Trump deal. Yes. Oh, they all have GoFundMes. Yes, they all have GoFundMes. Doesn't Rudy Giuliani have a GoFundMe? I don't know if he has a GoFundMe, but he's trying to raise money because he's just ass deep in alligators on that deal. It's a total grift. It's a total grift. I mean, some people...

Like if you have a sick child and people know you have a sick child, that's completely different than we had a Parisian vacation GoFundMe. Yeah. We've got this guy going to school. Get a student loan like everybody else. Like why are you making other people's problems? But the thing is people put money in there. What about when people like put their Venmo in?

In their like bios. Yes. I've seen cars driving around with their Venmo handle. Just for like. On the back. I'm driving behind you, so I thought I'd give you five bucks. Yeah. You know what? You could send them a dollar and say, you're a fucking nut. You're a fucking nut. You're a fucking nut grifter. But you know what they'd say? Thank you for the dollar. Go fuck yourself. That's right. Yeah. So it's not the burn, the win you want it to be. That's right. Yeah, you're exactly right. Okay, Kylie, who's next? All right. Up next, we've got Nicole. Nicole.

Hi, Jenny Hat Pumps. First time caller here. So this is my flagship grievance and it's a fucked up one. I'm going to admit it. But I've had it with the fact that we do not put cause of death in an obituary. I believe in my core that if you have died outside of the normal realm of circumstances, that it should be required information in the obituary.

Is your grandma 99 and she died because she wrecked her Harley? Did your cousins, brothers, sisters, babysitter get eaten by a fucking shark? We want to fucking know. I am a nosy bitch. I do not want to have to sift through 100 Facebook comments to figure out what the fuck happened. I'm not going to ask because that's rude. And that's what I've had it with. I think that that's what that should be the norm. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

It's so good. It's so relatable. It's, I mean, we need to know. We need to know. Were you banging out your secretary while your wife's at home making dinner? Those are the things that we're interested in. The fact that you died peacefully in your sleep, no one cares. No. We want to know the juicy, gory details. Yes. My favorite part about that voice memo is that she goes, I don't want to have to go.

Facebook comments deep because you know I've done it. I've been like, well, what the fuck happened? You know, and then you're like clicking on people and then you're like, how did this happen? Especially if it's a death that's like premature. Unexpected, yes. Yes. Yes. And the obituaries, like we need to know. It would really spice up the tail end of all of these, like if they died on time. Right. If it was a...

You know, like, you know, Lola Mae, she got Parkinson's. Right. She had a courageous fight for three or four, you know, and then you kind of go, okay, Parkinson's. You know, and then you could kind of be like, okay, well, Parkinson's really took out four or five people this week or whatever. Right. You know, but I just, I think we need to know because at least a few times a month, you're going to get something, you know, Jim Bob was fucking some hookers and smoking some crack. Right.

At the Motel 6 and his heart finally gave out. Right. Now that, I would start reading the obituaries every day if I was going to get that kind of juicy scoop every now and then. You know, once or twice a week. Yes. Yeah. I wouldn't miss. Yeah. I'd be all over that. You know, Josh reads the obituaries every day.

See, that's weird. I think so too. That's like what old people do, like what my mom does. No, he reads them every day. He has this kind of like, he romanticizes with depression. He's always kind of had that component. Right. And so it's always like this narrative, like, God, there's just a lot of sadness in the world. And I think that's maybe just having been an addict or, I mean, I don't know, but it's always, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing reading the obituaries? You don't know. She was like, I don't know. I just need to know. Yeah.

Who died. All right. Okay. Okay. I'd start joining them if it had the cause of death. Absolutely. That would revamp. Right. The obits. I know. And I'm shocked that as capitalistic as this society is, why aren't they marketing this? Right. Like you could, you could advertise like, you know,

kylie died from vaping and then it could be an ad right below it stop vaping now right and people could start profiting off your death and i'm a little bit disappointed in capitalism because it's so fucking cutthroat right that they haven't taken it all the way there with these cause of death agree opportunities the newspapers if they put cause of death in the obits i have something i have to tell you what the newspapers are now all online

No, I know, but nobody really reads them, do they? Yeah. I read the New York Times every day. Oh, I just get the blurbs like on the app, just the interesting stories. I don't like, do you read it like cover to cover or just the stories you want? Not cover to cover, but I click my New York Times app. I play Wordle, you know, I play Connections and then I go read the news of the day. Do you read like the lifestyle section and all that? I click, I do a, I do a... Do you just do a full preview every day? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I just have it all curated in one little thing, like the stuff I like. I'm part of the algorithm problem though. Yeah. Because I like- Yeah. I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Yeah. All right. All right. Up next, we've got Luke.

Jen and Pumps, I have absolutely had it with people praising normal behavior. Like people, you know, somebody shows up to work 10 minutes early. Oh, look at you. No, this is normal behavior. Somebody performs like they're supposed to. Oh, oh, look at, look at Betty. She did a great job on that project. She blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, dotted her eyes and crossed her T's. No, that's what she was supposed to do. That was her job.

Why are we praising this behavior? This is creating monsters. We are creating monsters over and out. He is right. We're creating monsters. It's like we've always said, like our kids –

age people, like everything they do is perfect. And I'm, I'm guilty. I'm not saying I'm not guilty, but like, Oh my gosh, you did a great job over nothing. And then it's like, at some point they're going to go into work and you know, like, here's my project. They're good. Okay. Thanks. They're not going to go, Oh my gosh, you did such a great job. Here's to you. Let's get your picture with it. You know, all that stuff. Right. And I thought of two experiences that I specifically remember. One was when I was married and,

If my ex-husband was like, well, I unloaded the dishwasher. Like I fucking do it every day. I don't ask for a fucking pat on the back. Like, why are you making an announcement? That was one. And then, I mean, I know it's tried and true, but well, do you need me to babysit the kids? You can't fucking babysit your own kids. It's not a thing. You can't do it.

So I just, I've had it. He's 100% right. Right. Yeah. You shut up at work on time. Oh, good. Let's run a parade down your street. That's so great. Yeah. You're supposed to. Yeah. No, it's, I think it's a big...

the praising, when you start praising everybody for doing the bare minimum, we're celebrating the bare minimum. Right. Mediocre. Yeah. Yeah. Mediocrity. Mediocrity. Yeah. It's just, I don't, I'm not a fan. I think people praise their kids too much. I think that

You have to do something kind of extraordinary to get a fuse of praise out of me. It's very difficult for me to muster up praise for somebody doing the bare minimum. I just, I don't get enthusiastic about it at all.

All right. Up next, we've got Megan. I have had it with my uber Republican parents convincing me that my dogs are not gay. They hump each other. They kiss each other like two old Italian men that own Ferraris. Again, they hump each other. They're in love. My parents say, no, no, no, no, that's not true. It's just brotherly love. I don't think you love your brother like that.

Anyway, I love you guys so dearly. A piece of my heart goes out. I've been watching your podcast and then rewatching it to make sure that I didn't miss anything. Love you guys. It's true that dogs can be gay. Right. I have a gay dog. Yeah. And I have super Republican parents. Right. So we have a lot in common. We're like bonded over that. Yeah. Have you told your super Republican parents that your dog's gay? I don't think it's ever come up. Yeah.

I don't think you should. They hate him anyway because he's a big dog. Yeah. They only like little dogs. Yeah. I remember once you were out of town and your mom was keeping him and it was like –

seven degrees outside. Yeah. And she made him sleep outside. In the garage. No, it was outside. No, it was in the garage. It was outside. It was in the garage. Okay. She had his bed in the garage. Because she said she Googled it, which I don't even think she can Google. So that's probably in retrospect that because he's a Siberian husky, he could survive in this much heat, blah, blah, blah, whatever the temperature was. And he had it by like 10 degrees. How do you think like, you know,

His, he's like you've shaved him. He loves it. He loves it. He loves it because we are like...

so bonded now. He does not get one inch away from me. We spoon at night. He gets right up on the pillow. He loves it because I love him so much more without the shedding. So when he, when it comes to winter time and it's cold, are you going to let him grow his fur back or keep him shaved? I'm going to keep him shaved. He will never get his fur back. Will you get a sweater for him? Yeah, I can get a sweater for him.

Yeah, he'll need some sort of sweater. But he's not outside. Other than our walks, he really doesn't go outside very much. He's going to need a puffer jacket. That's a great idea. I'm so glad you said that. He needs a little Montclair puffer jacket. Well, I don't know that I'll spend a Montclair, but I bet I can get one from Amazon. Yeah, he needs a little puffer jacket with a little hood. Yeah. Well, see, he still has it on his head. You know what? Since he's gay, you could do like a rainbow puffer.

great idea. Yeah, you could have your very own gay pride parade each and every day that you walk in the winter. Yes. Oh my gosh, I love that. I'm still not changing the permanent record about your pet ownership. I know. You won't change it, but no. But I like this idea. I like the idea of the sweater. That was great. And then you just built on even a better idea. The gay sweater. The gay sweater. We gotta have that. I bet you can find that for sure. Gay dog, gay sweater. Gotta have it. Yeah. And

Other dogs need to know he's available and gay too. That's right. Has he ever gotten to fall in love? He's in love with my dog. Yeah. Tubby. Tubby doesn't love him back though. No. No. No. Tubby's not attracted to him at all. Do you think Tubby is straight or just not attracted to Blaze specifically? Tubby's in love with me. Tubby's in love with Cha-Cha because they do the bone dance. They do do the bone dance. I've talked to him about it. I'm like, she is a minor and she is your sister. It's wildly inappropriate. Yeah.

We've talked about it multiple times. Right. And like last night when I tucked him in because he sleeps right next to me, I was like, you've got to quit dry humping your sister. She's two and she's your sister. And it's just not okay. It's not okay. So I don't know. I mean, we're working through it, but yeah. Yeah. But like a lot of people don't understand this and Kylie might understand this. My son Roman understands this, but like tubby for me.

He's my biological son, my husband, my boyfriend, my soulmate, my brother. All of those things are true at the exact same time. And a lot of people can't understand that level of nuanced love. Right. You know, but Roman understands. Do you understand it, Kylie? Absolutely. Yeah. He, he, it's like there's, if my life, my love life were multiple baskets, that motherfucker has eggs in every single one of them.

I do have to say in Tubby's defense, because I've witnessed Cha-Cha and Tubby, Cha-Cha kind of starts it. She like runs over, flops on her back, spreads her legs. She's like, where's Tubby? Are you slut shaming Cha-Cha? Yeah. I just think Tubby's getting like all the rap. Yeah. Yeah. He's getting mixed signals from Cha-Cha. But he is older. She is a minor. She is a minor. And...

A sibling. A sibling. Yes. Yeah. Well. And they are not technically related, but considering they're both my biological children. Right. Chacha's my wife, my sister, my girlfriend, all of the things that Tebby is, she is that.

But Tebby just has just an incredible bond with me. He was your first one. Yes. And I just, I think that he's jealous of my relationship with you. Yeah, he definitely is. And therefore, Blaze gets penalized as being a potential boyfriend for him because of,

to be jealousy. Like when I go home today, he's going to smell you on me and he's not going to like that one bit. He's not going to like it one bit. The only time that he likes me is when you're not around. Yeah. And then he'll come right snuggle up next to me. You'd think we were long lost best friends. The minute. The minute he like hears you coming out the door.

He could give two fucks if I live or die. Yeah. You've created a titty baby mama's boy. Oh, he is a titty baby mama's boy. The situation is this. Everything that I hate about people, it's completely different world when it translates to dogs.

Completely baby talk. Perfectly acceptable. Titty babies recommended, encouraged. I need it. Codependency. I wish Tubby and I could have a public relationship online where he could communicate back to me. Pumps, as I've been shopping for my fall wardrobe, I have been looking to find some new blazers. You know, I love a power blazer. You do love a power blazer. My friends at loft have these fantastic boucle blazers that are dynamite with all of my outfits and,

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As a special offer for our listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code HADIT at LumeDeodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit LumeDeodorant.com and use code HADIT. L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T dot com. All right, the last one. I just really love this woman. Her name is Juju. Perfect.

You fucking bitches. I just listened to today's podcast about the fucking bathroom and how people leave it a fucking shit show. And let me just tell you this. I fucking had it with people who don't know how to clean up behind themselves. What the hell is wrong with you? Your mama raised you better. I know she did. And if she didn't, I should whoop her ass.

I love you ladies. Love you pumps. And you look small, girl. Bye, guys. I love her. I love the enthusiasm. I think she's 100% right. Your mama didn't raise you like that. And I like the enthusiasm. What the hell is wrong with you?

You know, there's no reason to just have this puffer, puffervilly soft talk with soft people. It's pointless. Right. You say, what the fuck is wrong with you? You know, when we were little and you could feel like the fear of your parents punishing you. Right. I think that's an important guiding light through life. Feeling that like just a tinge of fear to keep your shit in order. I think.

I think that's probably right. I do. A tinge. Not overwhelming anxiety. But just this little tinge that if I left this bathroom like this, Juju walked in behind me, she is going to chew me up and spit me out. I think that that can be a way to keep the general public accountable. Right. Just a tinge of fear. Not a lot, but...

And everybody's going to go fucking crazy. I've had it, ladies. I encourage everybody to live in fear. No. Yeah. Just enough to take it over the finish line. You know what else I liked about that? She's going to whip your mama's ass too. Loved it. Yeah. She's going to kick your ass. And then she's going to kick your mama's ass. And your mom's ass. You're both fucking going down. Yeah.

That was an A++, five gold stars. Which means we are moms. We could get our ass kicked quite a bit. Oh, my gosh. Messy Marvin. One of my kids is messy fucking Marvin. I cannot imagine how many times my ass would get kicked. Yeah. I mean, it's just bad. One of my kids is super neat. The other is kind of messy, but I've noticed he's getting neater and neater now that he's in college. He's getting more...

Like a self-starter on getting stuff done. Is it your oldest that's messy? Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm just like, how is this possible to be so messy? I think I know why. Because I'm a mom. I was both the oldest. We did everything for them. Everything. We were going to be fucking super moms, power moms, fucking moms to end all moms. And here's the deal.

moms, over-mothering comes back to kick you in the ass. Yes, because there's still underwear on the floor when you're off to college. And sometimes the best things you learn, you learn on your own without your parents coming in and parachuting. Oh, absolutely. I will never forget. I was like eight months pregnant and I went to lunch with a friend that has always worked. And she was a judge at the time. She still is, I guess. But she said,

Angie, I'm telling you, if you decide to stay home with this baby, do not become one of those mothers that does everything for their kids. Because when those kids come to my kid's house, I can find them immediately. They don't push their chair in. They don't take their plate to the sink. I mean, she gave me a laundry list of things not to do. And so in my power mom days, I'll never forget it. I had this like epiphany.

It's like one, two, three, four, five of those things that she told me. I was like, I've done every single fucking one and had to call her and say, I have become the worst, worst, worst. Yeah, it's bad. You got to let them do shit for themselves. I remember just a couple of years ago, we were in Mexico and we rented that house and we took all the suitcases and

We went to check on the boys room and I looked over and you were unzipping your 20 something year old kid's suitcase and unpacking and hanging everything up for him. And I said, you can't be doing this. Like you can't do this anymore. And you were like, I can't help myself. I know. It's like a disease I can't get rid of. It's a compulsion with you. It's a compulsion. Yeah. You know how I'm about laundry anyway. No, this was the unpacking. No, I know. But I like to unpack. I like, I can't.

I can't feel at home on a trip until all my stuff is put away. Like I can't just throw my bathing suit on and go to the beach. I have to unpack. No, I unpack. Right. But what you're saying is I was unpacking an adult and I was. You were unpacking an adult. I was. Let me ask you just one follow-up question. Okay. Are you still in the group me? I'm not in the group me. I didn't leave the group me, but I deleted all the group me's off my phone, like the app.

Wow. I just. Is that liberating or what? Well, I had all the notifications off and stuff. But one time I asked a question and they were like, yeah, it's on the group me, but it's like from four days ago. And I thought, okay, well, I'll just look. And it was like, I was 286 pounds.

messages behind it and I was just like I don't want to know that much I just don't care that much to go through all this I'm not going to deep dive to find that out no it's so I just thought you know I'm out yeah the group me group me is absolutely positively

Absolutely, positively ruining children's lives. Right. It's an endurance test for adults too. Well, and because the adults are just doing all... I went to Roman's group meet because he's a junior in high school. And it was, here is the class t-shirt link. Yeah.

Here is they have to do service hours. Right. Sign your kid up for service hours. Do this for your kid. Do that for your kid. And I just looked at all of that and I thought he is 17 years old and drives a car. All of these things are Roman problems. Right. None of these things are my problem. If he wants a T-shirt, he needs to advocate for himself first.

To get it, let me know what size. He can get on the computer and do it all himself. I'm not fucking doing it. I'm not. And I think it's fucked up that all these parents sit and stew in all this shit when these kids are that old. I think it's super fucked up and I've had it. I mean, there's a lot of them out there. I want to get juju on them.

Oh my gosh. Yes. We need to get Juju on it. In the group me just to send like voice memos to the group me. What the hell's wrong with y'all? What are y'all up in here wiping your kid's ass when they're 20 years old? You fucking freaks.

Yeah, no. Juju is a queen. I want her. I want. That's my fantasy. I want her to make a voice memo that I can drop into the group me. Yes. Now that's a voice memo. Ash chewing all of those fucking morons out. Here's the deal. I've had it. They need to stop. I'm worried about the trajectory of

of this generation and not because they're not willing and able because their parents won't let them be willing and able right right but somehow we're the assholes that beat up on moms all the time right we're pro kids i have to tell you i still haven't unpacked from tour oh my god kylie are you serious right now yeah i need someone to come over and do it for me

I immediately. Immediately. I get home, I pee, and then I immediately unpack my stuff and take my suitcase out to the garage. You have to immediately. Immediately do it. I have the laundry done within two hours of being home. Everything's washed, dried, folded, put back up. Was your mom in a group meet? No. Didn't exist. But you're not super OCD about stuff like that. I mean, you're a perfectionist about the pod and stuff, but you're not- It's the only place. Yeah.

You're not? Are you a neatnik? No, I'm a train wreck. And I'm the youngest, so that's something to study. I'm an absolute train wreck. Well, that surprised me. Okay, Kylie, I mean, I'm just telling you, that's going to sit on my brain. I'm going to worry about that suitcase. That's just going to be like, every time I see you, I'm going to ask you about it. You have to let it go. She's an adult. I know, but I mean, I almost feel like going over there. She has that camera at the police station. Her mom, her biological mom calls her all the time. Her only mom. I don't know why I had to say that.

You two are my podcast moms. Yes, exactly. But you're also our mom. Right. It's kind of hard. But her real mother that gave birth to her has been on her for like two years because one of her cameras got stolen. They recovered it. It's at the police station. She won't go to the police station and pick it up. And it's a nice camera, Kylie. Yeah. She's learned to give up because I'm an adult. Yep. You got it. You got to let the suitcase go, Pumps. I know. I'm going to send you my address. Yes. I've been to your house. I want to note it in the permanent record that

That we, everybody's saying that we're anti-mom and that we're not nice to moms. And it's because we are so pro-children that we beat up on the moms themselves.

that are codependent with their kids. The only exception I take to that is that you're a raging codependent with your kids. Yeah. I was going to let that slide. No, I am a raging codependent. I'll own it. And I've been a power mom. I mean, I used to iron my kids uniforms iron. No, I I'm talking about the power moms that are up Tomahawk chopping around the schools. Yeah. No, I've never, I've never been a huge Tom, uh, chocker. I haven't. I went to one party and I thought this, what chopper?

Oh, chopper, chocker, chopper. Yeah. Okay. All right. Listen up, listener. Do you want to tell that story? We're at 50. No. Okay. That's what I thought. Listen up, you forced listeners. Five-star reviews, Patreon, voice memos. Hot shit tour coming to a city near you. Look at our link tree in bio.

voice memos to our I've Had It Instagram documentary club on Patreon every Wednesday. And we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

Two sisters, one a respected TV producer, Jill Blackstone, and the other, Wendy. She was disabled, nearly blind and deaf, and Jill had devoted herself to taking care of Wendy. Jill was her best friend, her sister, her everything. But the sister bond was shattered when Wendy and some of the sister's rescue dogs were found dead in a garage

next to a toppled over barbecue grill. Jill says accidental carbon monoxide poisoning killed everyone. Police do not believe her.

Police arrested Jill Blackstone for the murder of her sister. Investigators think it was staged to look like an accident. Who will you believe, especially now that a secret source has come forward with evidence never made public before? Jill was a good producer. There's no doubt about that. But would she produce murder is the question. Season two of Bad, Bad Thing, The Blackstone Sisters, available now wherever you get your podcasts. I always say, show me a perfect family. I'll show you a family with secrets.