Side Stories: Attack of the Drones
54:15 Share

Credit Union West opened a brand new location in Phoenix on 16th Street, just north of Camelback. Drop by, open a new rewards checking account, and earn $150 for making the switch. Plus, we'll donate $50 to Kitchen on the Street. Cash for you, funds for your community. Visit Credit Union West's new Biltmore branch. Go to cuwest.org slash Biltmore for details. Get $150 when requirements are met. See website for complete rules. Federally insured by NCUA.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive, where drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average. Plus, auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Quote now at Progressive.com to see if you could save.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May of 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Do you want to listen to Last Podcast on the Left without ads? Do you want extra content? Do you want to see what it's like behind the scenes? Patreon.com slash Last Podcast on the Left.

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, yeah! Yes!

First of all, what a lovely day to be in New York City. Our childhood homes. Comedy childhoods. Comedy childhood. You're from here. I'm from here. I'm from here. Not to brag, but I never get to do this. We never get to do this as a show. What's that? Bringing somebody new, a new permanent...

co-host to Side Stories. Big news. Big news. Big news. I can't believe it. Obviously, it took a lot to really work it out, but I'd like to introduce you, one of our favorite comedians who's going to be joining Side Stories permanently. Big news. Big news. Rock and roll. Hunter, come in here. Yes. Hunter Biden, everybody. Come on in, brother. Come on in. Fooled you. Ha ha ha.

you you fucking idiots free at last free at last i love you hunter he went to the mountaintop folks dude i love a guy that got to smoke crack smile along the way and make it out alive who do you think has had more sex in the white house hunter biden or jfk oh man bill clinton

in terms of gay sex it might be abraham lincoln now they have free chelsea clinton where is she at yeah let's investigate chelsea clinton can we investigate chelsea clinton welcome to side stories i'm henry zebrowski i'm sitting here with ed larson yes and we are going to be actively investigating chelsea clinton and whether or not she has nipple rings that's right i want to see him we were here we're here in new york city we're big show on

Saturday with the last podcast on the left at King's Theater. Come check us out. It's going to be fucking great. We're in Philly on Friday, but it won't even matter for you because those tickets are sold out. Sold out, baby! That's right, man. And I will be making an appearance as everybody's favorite not president. Whoa!

Oh, who's that going to be? I'm guessing Jeffrey Epstein. My favorite guy. You know, you guys, I love him. Your favorite politician. I love that guy. He was honestly one of the most powerful, one of the most powerful politicians of all time, if you can call him that.

Also, don't forget, we're going to be at the Masonic Lodge on December 21st with Classy Night Out. It's going to be a blast. There's still a couple tickets left for that. That's in Los Angeles at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Please join us for that. All right. Now, this is a lot of news is coming out. Obviously, we celebrated Hunter Biden's freedom. Goddamn. I just love it. I love his smile. I love that.

It's another person related to a president that I could draw his cock by memory. And I really appreciate that about him. I get it. We love his energy here. That's right. We love what he brings to the table. We think he's a fun guy and he's going to get out there. And I'm hoping next. What's Hunter Biden's next steps, Eddie? Hunter Biden. I'm thinking either WWE or you porn. Wow. Yep. I could see imagine fucking Kim Kardashian.

Can we make this happen? Can Hunter Biden start dating Kim Kardashian? New sex tape. See, I feel like even Kim Kardashian's old. I think we need somebody new. I think that he needs to go steal Bianca Sensori. Who's that? From Kanye. Oh, my God. New nipples out lady. Dude, I mean, honestly. I feel scared for her. She makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. Man, do you think Hunter Biden's strapped right now? Like a gun? A dildo. What?

It's a huge penis. There's a neat one. He really doesn't need one. Imagine if he had one on his back, though. He could strap on on his back. Come on now. Come on. Come on. Hop on the small of my back. Hop on the small of my damn back. I want you to come on the small of my damn back. Ah, yes. Good old free free.

Hunter Biden. Yeah, I love that he's out there and I love that he's going to fuck your wife. He's going to fuck your wife. He's going to ruin a dinner reservation. And I love that for him. He gets to be out there. You know what? Also fight Mike Tyson. Oh, my God. Hunter Biden should fight Mike Tyson. And then with the winner of that fights Donnie Trump Jr. Wow.

I think that's the way to do this. Come on, let's just turn it all into a big, giant, soul-sucking, empty entertainment venture. Oh my God, we should know who he should fuck is Guilfoyle. Oh yeah. That'd be a really great move for him. She's very skinny. Very skinny, maybe too skinny for him. She creeps me out. Yeah, that's her whole thing. She creeps me out. She's very frightening. Speaking of frightening. Okay. Big news. So not just, this is the second big news. Are we going to skip updates? Yes.

Well, the updates I have...

Orcas are wearing salmon hats again. Well, the orca, yes, that is true. That's a huge update. I feel like we're the ones who, I feel like the orcas have been listening to our show. They've only been going up in popularity since we've been talking about them. We brought up the salmon hats months ago. We did. And now, guess what? Wearing them again. Wearing them again. Back in style, dude. I mean, it's like when you walk around New York City and everybody's dressed like it's Kramer versus Kramer. Yeah.

Everybody here is dressed like it's an episode. They're all like NPCs from the background of Seinfeld. But yes, this is, it is true. Orcas are wearing salmons again on their heads after a 37 year gap. I found it interesting is that in 1987, I was reading a cool article about this, is that

Apparently, they do sort of... They don't really know the source of why. They know that they have communities... It's a style. But they said that there actually might be a real reason, too, is that they were... At that time period, 1987, when it happened, was a time when this group, this pod, the K-pod or whatever, was in this harbor, and there was an overabundance of salmon. So part of them thinks that maybe some of the...

behavior is literally salmon storage on the edge of their heads and that they think... They'll get to it later? Yes, and they also think now the reason why that's actually coming back is kind of interesting is that now it's the J-Pod, I think is what they're called, that are now doing it and they're saying that they think that some of those guys used to be members of K-Pod. So it's like they're bringing back old... It's like they're retconning. They're bringing it back. They're nostalgic. It's nostalgic again. The member berries.

That's amazing. That's all it is. I love my orcas. Congrats on the salmon. Salmon probably easy to catch. By the time they get to the ocean, you know, they're slower because they've been working so hard. Their skin's off, you know, so I think that easy to catch. Wear them as a hat. He's just making judgment calls about salmon, and I'm not going to do that to you. I love salmon. We both had salmon for lunch. We did. And he got a bigger piece. That's right. I watched him get a bigger piece. I should have gotten the bigger piece. Why? Because I'm bigger than you, and I need more food. But I'm just...

dense. Yes, you're just as dense, but I need more salmon than you do. I don't agree, to be honest with you. Yeah, of course. I eat a pound and a half at home in one plank. It's not good. But yes, this is one update. The other update, there is another update which you're not going to be happy with. What's this one? Our favorite lady, the sexiest person in the influencer world, Chris Chan. Might be a mommy.

We are looking at it right now. Chris Chan has made a bit of a, what they're calling a coquettish statement of

about maybe being a mommy saying that they are now they've been seen regularly at the same con I was with last time with a really good friend of mine, Ked Cadet, who runs these cons. This is the same time when Chris Chan just showed up at that place I was at in Raleigh last January. You remember that? No. Do you remember when I was

saying that he met all of... I just learned about Chris Chan on the show a couple months ago, that their existence. I think we talked a little bit about this, about how Chris Chan was at this Comic-Con, this Animate-Con in Raleigh that I went to, and... Did you put a baby in them? She was there. No, they can't hold the baby yet. She...

She's got a girlfriend that goes by the name of Flutter. At the time, remember I told... Oh, yeah, it's gross. It's not good. It's not good. My favorite Robin Williams film. Chris Chan, again, and I can't wait to tell Dave Willis this because at the time I was trying to...

explained to the crew from Aqua Teen, you might not want to be hanging with Christian, this person that's going to come. And they were like, who? And then I described Christian to them. They're like, oh, we met them today.

they are very strange. And I was like, big fans of Aqua Teen. And then they brought, Christiane then brought her new girlfriend, girlfriend, Flutter, to the Anime Raleigh Con today. Literally, it was like two days ago. I saw the same pictures. Guess who was in the background of all of them? You? Dave Willis. Oh!

He was in the background of every one of those pictures of Chris Chandler and Flutter. And he is going to love that. Another Flutter. That is actually, I would call, she is definitely another Flutter. Christine Chandler, also known as Chris Chan, was seen out and about with their new girlfriend. Now, we don't know whether or not Flutter is a girlfriend. I thought they were in jail.

No. So the story was that Chris Chan was accused of doing full-on, full-court press incestuous upon their mother. She apparently did a sexual assault to her mother. The charges were dropped by her dementia-ridden mother.

Okay. So those charges were dropped. Now, that was kind of put together. I forgot the name of the troll. It was Bella, Isabella Jenke, who was this horrible, horrible person that it seems put Kroger

put Chris Chan up to either do it for real or just talk about it and put it in writing, which got them arrested. Then they were released because the charges were dropped. Now they are out. They are obviously, they are strange, obviously, but they are, it looks to be,

happily in love. If you look at this, they are being, again, very, very coy about it. But you see a picture of, it's Chris Chan with a young, very, very young lady by the name of Flutter. Tiny. According to internet rumors, comes from big money. Doesn't need Chris Chan's influence, which makes it pure. Is Chris Chan a get?

Are they like a hot commodity? Look at her. It's a fucking nightmare human. No. Oh my God. Absolutely not. But we're just talking about this a little bit. We're going to move on right now. I'm just saying that it turns out, but according to Christian, they made a statement about them possibly being pregnant. And that statement is rather vague, according to Christian.

When the child is actually coming in to play for summer, somewhere around that point, I just might keep y'all in the dark and let y'all know until and wait till after the child is born. That's word for word, the statement. So, Christiane, congratulations. I hope she is a feminine child.

I hope she's an abortionist. We'll see. I don't know if we're going to get there. I don't know if we're going to get all the way there. Christiane first has to run for House of Representatives, which I will be proudly voting for the first trans member of the House of Representatives. Oh, yeah. By voting for Christiane. Is that true? Might as well at this point. No, there's someone in there now. Who's in there? I don't know their name, unfortunately. Sorry.

You fucking piece of fucking shit. How fucking dare you? Sarah McBride this year. Yes. Congrats, Sarah McBride. I won't take that from you. You can't take it from them. You can't.

I can do a lot of stuff. Oh, yeah. They're telling them they can't use the bathroom already. I just am so... We got to move past because I can't talk about that it makes me... Everybody's really stupid and it's a fucking massive waste of time. Just the idea of telling someone where they can go to the bathroom makes me want to fucking flip out. It's weird to have a news show when I refuse to read the news these days. Yeah.

Well, we read the real news, Eddie. That's right. Such as this extremely, extremely real shit that's going on. We just did a little bit of a breakdown of this on Dan Soder's podcast, but we got to save it for here.

I am in New York City during what has been called, what they're trying to say might be a predicted alien invasion. This came from a person by the name of Cliff High. Cliff High predicted this. Now, they did a computer scientist known for his past predictions using a tool they called predictive linguistics. High, who previously predicted the 2004 Indonesian tsunami...

Okay. But that was one. All right. And they also say... Like to the day or that that was just going to happen? To the day. And they also said that they called 9-11. But you can't say you called 9-11 after 9-11. They said after that they had called it before. A plane hits the building. I called it. I was like, no, you didn't tell anybody. If you didn't tell anyone, then you're a criminal. Then you're implicated. You're correct. But have you seen any of the stuff with LeBron James pretending to have read or know things? No.

No. Like LeBron James has. I mean, I do that all the time. He has an issue where he has been caught red handed, not knowing what he's talking about. And he always says, oh, yeah, I read that. Oh, yeah, I'm working on that. Right. Of course, he doesn't know anything. He was a pro basketball player at 18. How would he know anything? I like that he's into candles and he is trying to read more.

Yeah. And I love LeBron James. I love him. I think in terms of a man to look up to as a business leader and a father and a competitor. I'm wearing my LeBron James Miami's right now. He's good to look up to. Right from your grave.

If you ever worry about the safety of your home and family, there is no better time to act. Right now, SimpliSafe is extending its massive Black Friday deal. For our listeners, you're going to get 50% off a new SimpliSafe security system just in time for Christmas to keep that conniving Santa Claus away from your family. SimpliSafe keeps that creep.

Out of your home. And you will have to explain it to your children that it's due to the new SimpliSafe outdoor protection technology that will keep Santa at least 25 yards away from your home, and you get them the gifts. You're the one with the money who bought the gifts, and you're the ones that are providing the gifts for Christmas. And you're going to tell them that. All right?

SimpliSafe is extending its massive Black Friday deal for my listeners. This week only, you can get 50% off any new system with the select professional monitoring plan. This is your last chance to claim their best offer of the year. Head to simplisafe.com slash LPOTL. That's simplisafe.com slash LPOTL. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.

This is an ad from BetterHelp. BetterHelp has improved therapy, making it affordable and convenient. And now it's even better. Sign up for BetterHelp between December 3rd and 5th to get one free month of therapy. Take a breather from the hectic nature of the holiday season. BetterHelp can help you pause and take care of yourself.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash LastPod between December 3rd and 5th for one free month of online therapy. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash LastPod. Valid for new U.S. customers only. Everyone loves a good deal, right? Yep. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless for $15 a month with the purchase of a three-month plan, we had to call them on it. I called my deal lawyer.

And he was busy in the day I actually had his assistant in. Turns out it really is that easy to get wireless for $15 a month. Yep. The longest part of the process is the time you spend on hold waiting to break up with your old provider. I say ghost him.

All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. G-g-g-g-g-g. All right? I love Mint Mobile. It's cheap. I love Ryan Reynolds. Handsome as a devil himself. He slings these phones faster than anybody I've ever seen sling a phone since Naomi Campbell threw her phone at her assistant.

But I'll say these mint mobiles are just absolutely dynamite. To steal another catchphrase, you're going to love your mint mobile because I'll tell you what, we all hate cinnamon mobile. That's for certain. I'm keeping that one. We're keeping that one.

To get this customer offer and your new three-month premium wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash LPOTL. That's mintmobile.com slash LPOTL. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash LPOTL. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

Now, according to this guy, Cliff High,

Talks about, I guess, what they say is some form of predictive analyst. So this Heise predictive system works by analyzing internet data and identifying patterns and language that can indicate major upcoming events, including political changes and natural disasters. His latest claim about an alien invasion has captured significant attention because what he basically said is that when Trump floated...

that he might be on Rogan. Of course he was going to be on Rogan. There was a couple days where we didn't know whether or not because they were trying to get Kamala and him and then Rogan came out and just became a Trumper and all that shit went down in like four days. Of course he became a Trumper. He came to his studio and did an interview. He always was. Now we know that Rogan is, but he always was and then having...

Trump be there is how we then know that he is, for certain that he is, and that it's why he's complicit and why he's going to be, and eventually be sort of to blame for everything that's to come. But this guy, Donald Trump, so they said that Trump,

According to Cliff High, putting to the machines, that if Trump does agree to go on Rogan, and I don't know why. I think it's because this is considered to be a high benchmark for audience. Like 20 million people about listening to Rogan, I would say. It's close to rivaling Howard Stern at his peak level.

which is probably one of the most listened to shows in modern history. It's crazier with Rogan, though, because with Stern, he was the only thing people could listen to. Well, also, he did it in the OG way where they had a spread from terrestrial radio station to terrestrial radio station. It's different, but it's just more just maybe that's why he said that when that was triggered, it would trigger a 39-day sequence of

that would end in an alien invasion. That would be, the way we'd see it is a fight between U.S. military and these unknown crafts or whatever the shit is. But that didn't happen.

Did it? So in the UK, for the last two weeks, outside of the Lake and Heath, this is another, this is an Air Force base, the Royal Air Force base. They have been getting these drone incursions that they have, they've been calling them drones. This is now all over the place. It happened all over this weekend in New Jersey, Arizona. You need to look at this shit. Didn't they say, wasn't there a one over Brooklyn?

I did not see the one over Brooklyn, but I just was watching live footage of New Jersey drones. Okay. This literally happened. He said that... So the 39-day... That time meter ran out December 3rd. Okay. So...

So on December 3rd, mysterious drones, this comes from USA Today, mysterious drones have been reported flying over parts of New Jersey in recent weeks, leading to an investigation involving multiple police agencies, even the FBI. So this is, it's legit. How big are the drones? They say that they're about the size of sedans. Oh, that's huge. And they are...

shaped. They look like stingrays. They have an odd assortment of lights, different colored lights, and they keep showing up in front of the airport. Now, this is images and footage of the drones. They've been circulating online. We saw these. This was in Morris County. They were, they've emerged from multiple counties, Morris County, Somerset, Warren, and Sussex Counties.

They have no idea what they are. They were first spotted on November 18th. This is just the New Jersey drones. The UK drones have also been seen for the last two weeks. And now the UK stuff is getting so hot and bothered that they're starting to shut down civilians filming the drones. You have to look at the footage.

The key is to really see what this shit looks like. And the stuff over, the stuff over, not just Arizona, the Arizona stuff is also wild. Look at this video. This happened three days ago. Okay. Look at this massive...

Yeah, that's clear. So this is, and you're going to see. There's three objects. Dude, it's not going to even be one. Watch this. So it looks like it's three separate objects. You see this big, massive kind of squiggly light. Yeah. By a little red light and this other light on top of it. What you're going to now see is these other lights. I'm going to skip ahead a little bit so you can see. You can see the guy now. See how this other light has popped up? Okay. This light. Were any of those helicopters investigating? Nope.

And then you're going to watch it slowly but surely. It's one object, buddy. Oh, you think that's one object? Yeah. And it's in Arizona. It is one. You see how it forms a darkened triangle? Cool. It is one giant triangle.

It is very, very, very similar to the Phoenix lights. I have a theory on whenever we see stuff like this, like, you know, like I said, I'm still dipping my toe into aliens and ufology and all that stuff. So I feel like I almost have like a clearer view of it because I don't know too much information. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You're not as, you're just not as,

bong down as I am. I think that whenever you see stuff like this, it's actually like a malfunction on their part. You know, they actually talk about this. They do talk about this within circles, about the idea of, let's say...

This is highly protracted. There's no reality to this, but it's a thought process. Let's say they are actually biological creatures. Okay. Let's say one of the things... We talked about this today in Soder's episode, but what I hold is that everything is real in terms of if one thing is real, everything is real.

So I think that not only do they live in the ocean, they also come from other planets. They're also interdimensional. They're also us from the future. And they're also like they are. Yeah, there's multiple different races from different places. Yeah. But let's say they're biological ones. That's real. Who? Let's say we think like people and they want.

The goal is for it to be a recon mission, right? That's why that's maybe that's ostensibly why they're doing these things. They're going to go, they're looking out into the various folds of the universe to find resources. You know, there's always that kind of story that they use. Independence Day famously uses it with the, they've run out of resources, so they run here to get ours. Yeah. But who would you send across the universe to go look for shit? A drone. A drone.

I think that's one unmanned. Yeah. Or an idiot. You would send it. Well, we first thing we sent into space was a dog, a dog. Yeah. You'd send somebody you could afford to lose out there. This is an 18. Yeah. Oh, you think so? I think that if you get here.

You were sent here to get away from your family. I mean, Columbus was B-team. He was B-team. He was B-team. Italy's like, go fuck. Yes. We're going with America. Vespucci. He's B-team. He was B-team. Yep. So it's like, maybe these guys are B-team. If that's one of the angles. But look at this. This was also seen two days over Jersey. Again,

It looks like a big, yeah, it looks like a big thing. It's a big, it is one big object. Now, we talked a little bit last week about the UAP congressional hearing. We're going to go into more detail over the next couple of weeks about what a congressional hearing is, all that type of shit. But they talked about how some of this stuff is obviously retrofitted human technology. But this fucking ain't. I mean, it's just lights, though.

I know, but it's what the lights are. They don't know what the living fuck they are. They are thick, dude. So they were only up for one night and they were gone the next day? No, they've been saying that they've been coming for repeat performances. People are going out. For the UK, they've put out a live stream. I found it on Reddit. They keep shutting them down. There are live streams of Lake and Heath.

that you can go watch. And they've been calling them. They've been saying, here they come. They're coming now. And then you watch these little points of light. And they're not... They keep saying that they're researching this stuff. And the only answer that they can come back with is, like, they seem to not be dangerous. So they're up there. But the ones in Jersey, man, some of these ones in Jersey are... They are physically... Like, they are there. They look like actual...

I don't know how to describe it. They look like little planes. There's a reason why they're calling them drones. This is the Brooklyn, NYC, November 12th footage that I saw the other day. I don't know what's real and what's not real. It all looks like it's easily made. So, you know, obviously, I don't know for sure. But yeah, there was some weird object over Brooklyn.

I don't know where. There it is. There it is. Yeah. A metal sphere. Yeah. Yeah, man. I don't know what that is. You know, they're coming. Who cares, though? Right. I don't think that. How do you put it? It's not that I don't hear this one. You'll be flying over Mexico last night. Look at this fucking thing. What's that? That's creepy as fuck. Yeah. But the thing is, it's like, well, it's just ramping down.

up like a mother but do you think it's ramping up because we are getting better with drones and people just think that our personal drones are fucking uaps i this is we this is a question that we have to figure out this is a question we have to figure out because there's just more and more drones everywhere and all of a sudden now there's more now there's more uaps it's just that they look like they're uh

They don't look like anything that anybody has. That's what's fucked up. They don't look like anything, Eddie. They don't look like other planes. We don't know where they're coming from. They're saying that we can't find their origin of flight.

They don't know what direction they're coming from. They're just popping up in the sky. They're not, like, that's what's fucked. That's why there's also a part of me that wonders if it's a fully natural phenomenon. If the stuff that comes out of the ocean is, like, literally another type of animal or something that we just don't physically understand. We just don't understand. Like the abyss? Maybe. Maybe.

I have dreams about the abyss all the time. I love the abyss. I always have dreams where I, that is a common occurrence for me for dreams that I fall into a big like ocean and I can breathe the water. That's fun. Maybe it's because I'm a fish. You may be part fish. Who knows? Definitely a little bit of a walrus. Whatever, dude. Oh, God. Man, I don't know. I mean, but what, they're doing nothing.

What are they doing? Just observing? They don't know what to do. Hanging out? Dude, they literally don't know what the fuck to do. Look at this. This is what they're talking about. This is over Jersey. See this weird ass configuration? It looks like a natural formation. Like it doesn't look... And it is moving. It is moving and it's swirling and the fucking like... You see, that's solid as fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, what is this shit? Like, legitimately. It's just... I just... I don't know, man. Because it is ramped up noticeably. Okay. In the last month. So what are... Do you have any theories? You keep saying, I don't know, but like... Well, it's...

If it could possibly be... I mean, all of our audience is going to be like, you know how much of our audience they all hate? Half of them hate that shit. So it's so hard to like... I mean, I hate it too, but I'm doing my best to learn and be a part of it. Look at the news and tell me it's not going crazy. You know what I mean? That's the difference. It's like when the legit news...

stands there. Like, not even the funny, silly news. You have two anchors. Like, you're watching in New Jersey. And that New Jersey, when that all, these two anchors are openly arguing about what it is. And they're all, like, they're talking to the police and they're talking to the FBI. The police are asking people in New Jersey to tell them what it is. They don't know what the, so they're all, like, that's what's hard is that you'd expect that, because obviously a lot of it will, does end up getting debunked.

Which is good, but they try to do it kind of quickly, and it seems to be coming faster than they can debunk it. Yeah. And it's... I... What if we made a big mistake on November 5th? Oh, it doesn't have anything to do with that shit. I don't think so. It's a coincidence. Yeah, I honestly do think it's a... There's a lot of people that want to attach it to it, and I don't want to attach it to it, because I don't think that anybody's any... I don't think in the end, like...

If they don't understand Hitler, like if he literally didn't come for Hitler, like you're not coming for a president. They don't understand the news. They don't understand English. Then why is it happening now?

Then to you, why would it be happening now? To me, why would it be happening now? I think that it's always happened. We have more cameras than ever. I think we have more drones than ever. I think there's more technology than ever. So I think there's a lot more things being mistaken as UFOs. But we had that five years ago. We had the same stuff five years ago. Pretty much. Don't you think it goes in fads?

It does. You know, famously it goes in vats. They call them flaps. UFOs are, you know, like they do. They go in waves. It is very, very all the time. And we're going to, if there's like three shark attacks next week, we're going to forget about this. Dude, this is these again. These are these. It's this is why it's weird, man. It's because of the way they blink.

Yeah. And they are in a situation like the Phoenix. They're in a line. Yeah. It's really weird. And that's why they keep. And but and I guess that my main issue truly is the is the fact that they're calling them drones. Yeah. You know what I mean? Is that if they weren't calling them drones. Look at this one. Well, it's the ultimate. This is the one I saw. Look at this one.

This one looks like a plane. This one literally looks like a plane, but it's not one. Yeah, no, it's mimicking a plane. That's fucking frightening, right? That is frightening. That's weird as fuck. And this is on the actual news. This is on the news. This isn't one of my silly little websites. This is on the fucking NBC news. So whatever it is, even though I'm like, let's just say I'm not going to put them above. I'm not going to put the media above.

being full of absolute shit. Yes. But this is pretty interesting. I don't know. Everyone's going to be yelling. Everybody debunks. Everybody's so smart, Eddie. I know. Reddit's so smart. All the people out there are so smart. They know so much better. So I know you're all cursing at me and calling me an idiot, but I do think that maybe there might be something there. But, you know, go on. Just live in your life. It does technically change nothing, so it doesn't really matter. What would it take...

for people as a whole to believe. Other than like Trump shaking hands with a fucking alien. I wouldn't believe. I'd believe it less if Trump did it. I think that we are past that point.

I don't think that we'd ever believe it. I think that it would have to literally take a mass actual invasion for people to think it's actually real. And I think that if it happens in a subtle way, people will acclimate to it so fast that it also won't matter. Do you look in the sky all the time? All the time. Trying to find something? Every time. When I'm in a plane, when I'm out anywhere in the country. And you've found nothing. I've never seen anything. You've never seen anything? No. No.

I had a dream we saw something recently. What did we see? We saw a little light in the sky that zipped. It could fucking happen this weekend. It's all over the place. But I don't know why. Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. Why do you think, if it's real, let's just cut all the people who don't think it's real. Just don't pay attention to that. For those of you that think it's real, why now? Why would there be an uptick? We'll find out.

We will fucking find out. I put it to the audience. New DB Cooper alert. This guy's not anything. I barely want to cover this story. It's just in the news, so I just figured that we should just at least talk about how the family of a guy by the name of Richard McCoy was the... This family is fucking certain...

that this man was D.B. Cooper because he also got arrested for a skyjacking, I guess just months after the D.B. Cooper thing and they found a retrofitted... So that would assume that D.B. Cooper lived then? Yes, and that they found his... They say that they have his parachute that was retrofitted specifically and it could not be anybody else's parachute according to this family. And they had to wait for their mom to die. Okay.

to talk about it because they're more than certain she's involved oh because she had the money yeah but db cooper jumped out of 32 000 feet no it was like lower than that i think that's the reason why it was so dangerous is because it was i don't remember i don't remember all of the you wouldn't just freeze it's cold i think that he died yes i personally think that he died but these but they never found anything they never found the cash they never were they over the ocean

No, they were in a mountain. He splatted into a side of a mountain and a bunch of birds took that money and made fucking nests with it. As far as I'm concerned. But they keep pushing it. Because there was a book, D.B. Cooper, the real McCoy that does talk about this being the actual D.B. Cooper. That McCoy was the real D.B. Cooper. But the family sued them.

This family? Yes. Sued the author of that book and they got it shut down. Okay. So they even said themselves it's not true. They do. Because I think it's because the mother, that's the only thing that makes me interested. It's because the mother has something to hide. They should have to give the money back to the guy they sued if they're going to come out and say that it is their father now. I'll tell you that much. I think that's why they're trying to do this. They're trying to get money because I think that money's gone.

Yeah. I don't think they got any of that DB Cooper money because it was like 75 grand 100 years ago. Yeah. That's not too much. No, I don't know. I don't remember what it was. It is not enough. And also DB Cooper. I just, people love the story of DB Cooper. I think that people like it because he got away with free ass money. And people like when somebody gets away with free ass money. Well, and also just jumping out of a commercial airline. There's something that was like, people love and are fascinated by DB Cooper. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I like a good bank robbery, you know. I wish that there was still a chance for criminals to commit crimes. There's too many cameras. You know, the playing field isn't level anymore. Because as far as I'm concerned, rob as many banks as you want. Oh, yeah. Rob stores. As long as you don't hurt nobody. Yeah, of course. Just don't hurt people. Like, banks are insured. Stores are insured. Major banks. No credit unions.

Even them. No, no, no. I respect the credit union. Hey, you respect your credit union. I don't. Yeah. Oh, you want to get in the fucking bank business and you want to be innocent about it? That don't work, buddy. All right. Your fucking hands are covered in blood too, credit unions. All right. You're just as complicit. The only thing that's not complicit, pure, raw, uncut diamonds. TD Bank's fucked again. They got caught embezzling over a billion dollars.

They're motherfuckers. Man, you remember when you'd go to TD Bank? That was my favorite because we used to go because you used to bring your change in. And then you used to go put your change in the change machine. I like playing the change and you try to guess and there was that little girl who was like, nah, you don't know what you got. Is that real? Still? What? The change machine? I don't know. I stopped going to TD Bank after they stole from my mother. Yeah. Those motherfuckers. You remember they used to give us piggy banks though? Yeah, they did. But that was back when they were... New. New.

There was a different one. There was a blue. They were blue. And then they turned into TD Bank. Yeah. What were they? Who gives a shit? You're fucking assholes. Hey, you're here to hear us struggle through trying to remember something. Fucking how dare you criticize us? Yeah. Well, you know, as long as do you think that D.B. Cooper could have been scooped up by aliens? No. You fucking piece of shit. No. D.B. Cooper's fucking. I think he's greased.

Yeah, he is grease. I think he's a wet spot. A shit spot in the mountains. Yeah. You trying to find your loved one something nice, something comfortable, something sleek yet chill? Go to Quince. What's wrong with you? Quince.com. They got all the nice clothes, man. I've been wearing my Quince. That's right. You can do whatever you want with Quince. And you know what they got? Linen wafers.

I love my linen. It breathes so nice, man. I tell you, I got my linen pants. I use them as pajama pants. And then I go out and people are like, wow, nice pants. And I'm like, yeah, they're my pajama pants and my going out pants. Do you have pants like that?

No, you don't. You want the fleece? You get the fleece. You know what they say. Fleece nice for the niece. All right. We're giving gifts over here. And now their packable puffer jackets are perfect for anyone who's traveling for the holidays. Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com slash last for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's

Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash last to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash last. You want to dress like a prince? Get yourself some quince.

boy texas peat is a sauce that allows you to sauce like you mean it it's what people gather around it's generosity in its simplest form and it's a swagger people have who know what's good each texas peat hot sauce is packed with bold balanced flavor this signature tanginess is what makes it a legendary hot sauce that can be used on just about anything it's been at the center of dinner tables since night

and is still heating things up today. You're definitely going to want to try every flavor. The original hot sauce has a famous secret blend of fermented peppers. The hotter hot sauce is three times hotter than the original and not for the faint of heart.

Sabor by Texas Pete adds authentic Mexican flavor, and their dust-dry seasoning matches the flavor of the original hot sauce and a flavorful dry rub. Tell you what, the other day I was having myself a good old refried bean burrito, and I wanted a little bit of kick to my morning, so I got myself some Texas Pete sriracha sauce, and I smothered those refried beans in that chowder.

That cheese and them eggs and a whole bunch of chai. And it started off my day correct. Texas Pete. Sauce like you mean it. Visit TexasPete.com and use the store locator to find Texas Pete products as well as purchase sauces and get recipe inspiration. And use the promo code PODCAST24 for 20% off at TexasPete.com.

The holiday season is just around the corner. We're all looking for ways to spend and stress less. Yep. HelloFresh makes mealtime nearly hassle-free. Nearly. With delicious, home-delivered, chef-crafted recipes that come together quickly and are less expensive than takeout. And they're better than takeout. You can actually decide how much oil and butter you want to use. You can choose things. Like, it's just a great alternative.

alternative and with your craving hearty comfort food trying to please picky eaters are looking for a calorie smart meal plan HelloFresh has all those options and we use HelloFresh every week I love it we use the vegetarian boxes they're absolutely you know they inspire me because sometimes I don't know what to eat that night and then you're like oh we have a HelloFresh thank the Lord because if not

We'd be starving, Beth. So think to you, HelloFresh. Yum, yum, yum. In my tum. Over my gums. Into my, my hums. My hums. Give me that, HelloFresh. Get 10 free meals at HelloFresh.com slash free L-P-O-T-L. Applied across seven boxes, new subscribers only varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to HelloFresh.com slash free L-P-O-T-L.

All right, let's see what else we got here. What else we got here? Do we have any... We got some UFO mail. I mean, we do have some UFO... I'm going to go into a little bit. I was trying to think of... There was the one story, because this story is like a nothing burger with the thing. He said that he couldn't...

The guy killed his brother accidentally on Thanksgiving because he says he sneezed too much. And so but then you looked at it. I thought it was like a really good kill. And I thought it was like a strangling or stabbing. But then he just accidentally knocked him over and he hit his head and then he had. So it really wasn't. Yeah, that's it. That's an accident. It's not exciting. Oh, you know what? Other people that miss 9-11.

You remember we talked about on Side Stories a couple weeks ago, we talked about people that missed 9-11 because you brought up the alligator attack that the guy got ate on 9-11 and how he got to live a blissful life. You know who else who didn't know? James Cameron. Okay. Because where was he at everybody else's favorite disaster? The Titanic. That's nice. He was under the water at the Titanic. Okay.

Missed 9-11. Came back up being like, what'd I miss? They said a land-based Titanic. And you know what actually made me upset? He didn't immediately go look at it. Because that's a land Titanic. You could get there by car. 9-11. Like 9-11. You can drive to 9-11. But not when you're in the middle of the ocean.

Dude, get on a boat. You're already on one. Come back. Fucking go to New York. Take a picture of the new Titanic. That's a ground floor Titanic. You're getting in right now. You get to see it at the top. You get to tell everybody you were there. You get to take pictures. Dying off of that. Rudy Giuliani should have still been, he should still have goodwill to this day, but he ruined it. God, both him and Chris Christie like had goodwill because of the disasters and immediately destroyed it. Yeah, because it turns out the disasters are

was them after all Rudy Giuliani was his own 9-11 Bill Paxton was the one that told James Cameron yeah and you imagine that when he came out of the water Bill Paxton just said hey James guess what it's game over man game over man it's game over man they fucking flew two planes into the towers they're coming for our

man. We got to get out of our buildings, man. I got a little dick. Yeah. I love the fact that it was Bill Paxton. And then someone else wrote an email. I forgot what I was saying about if you could just miss 9-11, how nice that was. Oh, yeah. Although I feel like if you missed it for a couple days and then you found out about it, it'd be even more depressing. Because then you just feel like a fucking idiot. Like, what's going on with my life? There's a part of me that would think like...

Still got it. Yeah. I could definitely not remember this. I could definitely, definitely not remember this. Should we get to one of these UFO stories? I got a couple of them. All right, let me listen to this. We got a couple of good ones here. We got some good longer form letters. All right. I wanted to read because I wanted to read this first one that the other UFO because I'm in a UFO mood.

I haven't seen any yet. I've had people, but also people have just been texting me all day. Yeah. Also, be on the lookout. If you see anything, please let us break it for you. Take a picture. Yeah. I actually got a lot of footage also recently. I've gotten a lot of footage, but I'm saving them for my man. Personal footage from people? Yes.

Also, if you know how to make some fake footage, send that too. Don't muddy the waters. CIA already has enough fun doing that. All right, let's get to some of these. It would be good to see some fake footage, though, that people make in order to determine what's real and what is fake. I will say I have seen a lot of fake footage. Yeah, so have I through you. Some of what I have shown you is just subtler than you want it to be.

Which I do understand. We all don't want it to be subtle. We want it to be forthright. Yeah. Now, do you think they would walk around or is this just like globs of jelly? One of my feelings is that the ships themselves are the aliens. They're not piloted by things inside of it. Okay. Like, nope. Yes. Okay. Yeah. I think that the things that we're looking at are literally the aliens. All right. That's cool. And I think that they are trying to look like our stuff. I mean, it makes sense. I mean, look at a stealth bomber. Yep.

Yeah. Which is awesome. Very similar. I know, man. I've seen a stealth bomber up close. Yeah. That shit's fucking wild. Just cruising real slow, too. It looked like it was just floating. Yeah. I want to scare somebody in a plane. Do you think that's where we got the technology from for the stealth bomber? Well, that's one of the things they say. It's silent.

But it's the cloaking technology and it's the, it's whatever these, the TR-38, I think is another example that they said is going to be a triangle shaped UFO. Okay. That is a, what is it? The TR-3 something. Yeah, the TR-3B.

Does America have a reverse engineered UFO? This is what they say. They call this an anti-gravity spacecraft. Okay. But we don't know yet quite what it is. And what keeps them invisible? Like giant ghillie suits? Yes. Yes. They know it's them fucking with lights. They're fucking with imagery. All right. So let's get through some listener emails.

Around a year ago, I was working as a freelance gaffer in Los Angeles when I was offered a job on a low-budget indie documentary centered around psychics in Sedona, Arizona. Congrats. Hey, this is where we all make our money. I took the job, thinking it would be a fun excuse to get a paycheck, see Arizona, and entertain myself at the expense of a couple of phony psychics.

Though there was a fair amount of bullshit and charlatans among the psychics we interviewed, I am writing about an indisputable experience I had while interviewing one specific psychic that fundamentally shifted my worldview. During this part of the documentary, we were to accompany one of the psychics on something called a vortex tour. One of the big spiritual tourism draws to Sedona are the spiritual vortexes that are supposed to enhance your spiritual energy.

Our guide was a guy who went by the Hindu name Bana, despite being a tall white dude from Portland with a youth pastor vibe. Oh. That's the, um, Bana is also the American name.

Oh, he carried a guitar just like Bono and kept saying, send it. If there was anyone I expected to guide me to a life changing spiritual experience, it was not him. It was like our our guide in Hawaii. Yeah. It's like, come on. You're from North Carolina. Your name's Ryan. Yeah. Todd. Yeah. He took us on a short hike up a small hill called Baby Bell, slightly off the main trail.

During the hike, we were interviewing him, shooting B-roll, etc. And so was the lighting guy. I was very much in work mode, our entire ascent. When we reached the top of the hill, Bana had the entire crew stop working for his demonstration. He had to stand in a circle, rimming the top of the hill, facing away from each other and toward the Sedona landscape. God, I love rimming a hill. Nothing, especially in a group. Yeah, and then I'll meet Hill's father. Yeah.

There was nothing that seemed to set the top of this hill apart from any of the other. No crystals, altars, carvings, anything else. Just dirt, plants, and sky. He instructed us all to breathe in and exhale. Then proceeded to strum his guitar twice. I focused on a faraway mountain range, fully expecting to have a nice little break before getting back to work. That is not what happened.

Almost instantly, my vision changed to what I can only describe as a high-definition filter, similar to the crystal clear effect people get when consuming marijuana, paired with a blurry vignetting effect.

Before I could even process what was happening, I started to see every possible iteration of a mountain forest Mother Earth spirit flashing frame by frame as visualizations until they became one. It wasn't quite a hallucination. If you can imagine in your head a cube floating in front of you, it was very similar to that. The difference was I was not in control of the visualizations.

These visualizations were paired with an innate understanding that whatever this entity was, was introducing itself to me. I would describe it as a loving mother's energy. It began to communicate with me without the use of words. It was as though thoughts, ideas, and intent were transferred to me with little to no room for misinterpretation. Most notably, it seemed to lack any kind of emotion, not in a heartless way, but in a precise yet loving way. It began with the classic,

Don't be afraid. I am not here to hurt you. Followed by everything as it should be. Nothing is good nor evil. It just exists. An instant understanding of the oneness of everything. Before I knew what was happening, I felt my head turn from the mountain ranges I was looking at and focus on a particular rock spire to my right. When I say focused, it was as if I mentally zoomed into the spires dozens of miles away. This entity began comparing me to this spire.

how it was shaped by the wind and the rain, but still stood strong against the elements, similar to how I've endured the hardships in my own life. Because the entity could see and communicate their understanding of specific hardships back to me, I began to get emotional.

Okay.

After this incredibly personal and emotional message, the entity asks if I would like to ask it anything. I would like to keep my requests private since they are deeply personal to me. What I will say is that the answers to my questions were given to me in a cryptic visualization of little beings made of blue light with veins of white light pulsing through them. I have yet to figure out what those mean. And just like that,

It was over. The experience could not have lasted more than 10 minutes, though my perception of time was very warped, so I'm not sure. Before we descended the mountain, I had the biggest, almost involuntary, shit-eating grin on my face, to the point that other members of the crew were commenting on it. I found it difficult to speak for almost our entire descent. Sounds like you sat on a peyote cactus. It does sort of sound like... I mean, when I had my full...

truly last full ego destroying trip. It is like that.

I think you can trip naturally. Yeah? Yeah. I'm still waiting for my flashback, man. I ate so much acid when I was a kid. It's like, where is this? I use it as an investment. When I'm really... I go to concerts. I don't eat acid. I want my flashback. I have found... I saw David Gilmour a couple weeks ago. Nothing. Yeah, you don't remember any of that shit. I would say get to meditating. Meditate.

Meditating is what allows me to feel sort of a natural buzz. And then you know what also really helps with it? Couple Bud Lights. Yeah. Really gets you set. Really gets you set on a meditative mood. All right, let's do one more of these UFO encounters. All right. I was out in my backyard smoking a cigarette. Fuck yes, dude. Good for you. Miss it. Waiting for the dog to do his business. Mm-hmm. My whole life.

When I noticed the constellation Orion in the sky, maybe a bit brighter than normal. It caught my eye and I stood watching for a few minutes. Orion was out hard when we were in Humboldt. It was. I don't know if you noticed. Oh, yeah. It was fucking, it was there. I saw his dick. Yeah, no, it was pretty cool. But he was like, look at this, look at this. Check it out, check it out. That made me weird. I didn't realize he'd be moving around. That's what we saw. Yeah. I heard they're actually going to change the name of Orion to Hunter Biden. No.

Oh my God. Congratulations. Big, huge dick. And then he had that little line of stars that look like a crack pipe. The crack pipe. You know, Hunter Biden's dick can actually do cocaine. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty great. Pardon him again. Yeah. Pardon me. I'd like to meet Hunter Biden. All right. Imagine that though. If you're doing blow with someone and they put it out there and fucking snort it up with their dick, you're just like, God damn. Wow. America. Can I vote for you for anything? Yeah.

All right. So up in the sky. So the Orion was a bit brighter. It caught my eye and I stood watching for a few minutes. I began to notice a movement in the stars. It seemed like the figure itself was waving or wiggling a little bit, like it was twerking. Like a person holding an uncomfortable pose for too long. My mind went to UFO.

Okay. Okay.

Finally, I also knew somehow the head star was a face looking directly at Earth, looking directly at me, and it knew I was looking right back at it. Orion's left hand began to shift up and slightly to the west. It quickly returned to its original position near the base of the belt. It then again, and it returned again. The star hand seemed to wave in and out of the belt area repeatedly for around two minutes.

The head start began to shudder, and from Orion's belt erupted an aurora borealis-like plume of prismatic blob, which flowed outward and coalesced into twisted ropes that grew larger in my vision until I felt my balance failing, and I was suddenly laying in the wet grass, kicking my legs up to protect my face from the stellar rainbow jizz. I writhed in the ground, wailing, ORION!

as it washed over me, warm at first, but becoming cold surprisingly fast. I laid there afraid to move and afraid to open my eyes until I started getting chilly and I stole a peek. Sky looked normal.

I wasn't covered in space goo, and I had lost my cigarette and put my elbow in dog shit from writhing around. I am still unsure if this was a nuts and bolts UFO trying to psychically invade me or an interdimensional trickster figure taking the form of Orion. Please share this story and help me unlock the meaning of this experience. Sounds like he had a stroke or a UTI and was just hallucinating. Who knows? You know? But then is this hallucination not real if you're seeing it?

It's not. You're right. It's a hallucination. You're correct. Yeah. But if it's sucking your dick, as real as it gets, buddy, and you just got Biden'd. All right? All right.

That's right, man. You never know. You never know. I got to go down there. I love every day knowing that I get my crack rock from my local crack guy. He gets it from these farms upstate. And then I love... Then I laugh. Taking my freshly made... I got my little picnic basket with my rocks in it, my freshly made glass. I go down and I visit the sex workers. They love me. We laugh. And then I live a fun life knowing that...

I could fucking get off free. That's right. Woo, because I'm having too much fun for this to be illegal.

love you hunter biden miss you buddy you know what though seriously never text me anymore yeah well you old biden the president go ahead and pardon all those people with marijuana charges too while you're at it fucker eddie let's not get sorry i just wanted to i just wanted to say something no let's not ever let let's you know let's not him do something well yeah you know what i mean

Well, Joe Biden, oh, we're going to miss you. Yeah, that's right. And I hope that when you go to heaven, Jimmy Carter's there waiting for you. Man, you know Jimmy Carter's going to outlive Biden. It's very possible. It's definitely. Jimmy Carter is like the king of hospice. They put a little crown on him. He won't quit. He's the Kenan Thompson of hospice.

He will not leave. Anything else, Eddie, before we get out of here? No, nothing. We did our plugs up top. We did our plugs up top. Go to patreon.com slash last podcast and left to watch this horribly filmed version of Side Stories. We're in a hotel room. Yes, that's right. And it looks like this.

Also, go to lastpodcastonlife.com, buy those tickets. We gave you all the live shows. We show you when we're doing it. Just fucking show up. Atlanta in January. I can't wait. January 11th at the Coca-Cola Roxy. That's the next one after this. And still, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this yet. But there might be another thing in Atlanta. The day after. Yeah, keep your ears paled. Yes, because Eddie and I might do a full-on podcast.

Improv show. Yeah. And not that we've ever done that before. Yeah, no. So keep your ear to the ground. We might do it, we might not, but we're looking to maybe hopefully jump in there. And for you idiots putting your ear to the ground, check your laptop. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's not where you're going to get your information from the ground, all right? You're not Pocahontas. And clean your ears. Because they're covered in dirt. Safely. Safely.

Outside. No Q-chips, apparently, even though I do it because I'm a rule breaker. I can't stop. I'm not stopping my Q-chips. I put it right in my ear. See, I don't care that I'm wrong. Yeah, yeah. I know it's wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, fucking without a condom. It's my ear. Yeah, it's my ear. What do you want from me? Yeah. One day I'll go get it, like, dripped out, but for now, I'm stabbing. If you have so much wax that you have to go to the hospital? Yeah. Like, that's bad. Yeah. Also, there's a drum in there. Beat it. The fuck? Neil Peared it. Hail Satan. Hail Satan.

Hail Gilbert Gottfried, baby. I found this t-shirt. Oh, wow. Yeah, I just saw that. Great shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. Rock and roll. See you guys next week. Bye.

The first ever Kia K4 seamlessly combines bold style and advanced tech. With striking star map LED headlights and an available panoramic display, the Kia K4 delivers design and function. The available surround view and blind spot view monitors can help provide added confidence. Plus, Sirius XM comes standard, bringing you closer to what you love. The Kia K4 balances aesthetics and innovation. Learn more at kia.com slash k4. Surround view and blind spot view monitors may not detect all objects around or behind the vehicle.

20 years later and you still can't return my backhand. Surprised you still got it at your age. You're three weeks younger than me. Yeah, okay. All right. One more set. You're on. At Banner Health, we offer the care you need to stay at the top of your game because we know your health is what enables you to relive the glory days any day. Banner Health. Exhale.