Side Stories: Breast Friends
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There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, yeah!

I think we're going to have to reevaluate our friendship, Eddie. What happened? What are you talking about? Because... Do you want to scale it back a little bit? Because I can scale it back. I'm just saying no. No, unfortunately, no. We can only scale. We have to scale up. We have to scale up. But I saw these... I was reading some research for this week's episode of Last Podcast on the left. Yes. And they were talking about how Abraham Lincoln, or you guys know, the 16th president, he had a very, very good friend.

named William Green while he was in his 20s. I like to call him Billy Weed. Billy old Billy Weeds. Billy, Billy Weed, Billy Nugs. And Lincoln and him shared a cot together and they slept chest to chest each night for years. They slept chest to chest. And these guys are best friends. Breast friends. Yeah, chest to chest. Exactly. But, you know, he had the true bravery to

to say that his best friend, Abraham Lincoln, straight, married. Not at that point, I don't think. Not married. Yeah. But he said that he, quote, wrote in his journal that Lincoln's thighs were as perfect as a human being's could be. Yeah. I bet. He was a wrestler. Why have you never said that about me? You don't have perfect thighs. My thighs are the best part of me. Yeah. They're the best part of you.

But they're not great. You don't think that my thighs aren't great? I think Ronnie Coleman has great thighs. But I don't think that you have... Well, Ronnie Coleman, he worked himself into paralysis. Yes. I won't ever do that. Yeah. I'll make sure I could jump and flit and kick and dance and tap. You know, honestly, I don't think I've seen your thighs in a while. You want to? Sure. Rob, look away. Flex them. Oh, my God. They're good. They're fine.

There's no definition. You're my best friend. I'm being your best friend right now. I let you take your pants off and I'm staring at your thighs. Who else is going to let you do this? The president of the United States' best friend looked at his thighs. Jeffrey Epstein, yes, when he was... Honestly, he was more like Bill Clinton.

If you read the documents, Bill Clinton's on there a little bit more. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. You have great thighs. See? You have great thighs. And before that, you get introduced. Ed Larson. How are you doing? Yes. They look so good, they should be fried. Mm-hmm.

I'll take that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm hungry. They're good. I'm very hungry. But, you know, we don't eat here at Last Podcast and 11th. We won't. We only do the news. That's it. That's all we do. And stare at the back of our World Trade Center effigy that's currently sitting on the table here today. That is about to make its first trip to Indio Wells for contact in the desert. You know, I think they should change the name to Indio Finds.

It's definitely in the O'Fines. But it's a nice place. Honestly, you're going to have to come and check out what we're going to do with this World Trade Center effigy. Yes. This Saturday. Saturday night. Coming over to Contact of the Desert. If you're in the Los Angeles area, we are doing this wonderful, wonderful comedy night inside of the...

biggest UFO weekend in the world, and it is going to get some people upset. Yes. Comedy goes really well in the middle of a conference hall. It really does. Every time. I remember last year at the comedy show. Oh, wow. Right before I went on stage. 3.30 p.m. Oh, yeah. They did me the favor of getting rid of all the chairs. I remember when they said that. We were like, we don't want people to be hanging out. We're like, it's an hour-long show. Yeah.

But this year, it's going to be different. And you're going to see, separate from the main events, it's going to be a nighttime event. And we are going to bring, we're bringing out all the stops. I'm going to be doing a live UFO mandate. We have some guest comedians like Billy Wayne Davis, one of our big friend of the show. Amber Nelson, Travis Irvine. It's going to be amazing. We're going to have a lot of fun. And then also, we're going to be doing a live...

We're going to be doing a live taped podcast that you can be a part of the live studio audience for with Whitley Streber. And we put headphones on everybody, right? Yes. That's what we did last year. Are we doing that again, Rob? I don't know. We'll see. We'll find out. Last year when we interviewed Dave Foley, everyone got headphones and it was a very interesting experience. It was very intimate. It's like a silent disco. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, and I believe Whitley knows this, we're going to be playing Hot Ones. Yeah. Yeah.

With Whitley. I am really excited for that. I got Pepto already. Great. He's going to need it. He's going to need, to be honest, we might need a doctor. We were talking, Kelly said she was going to go to Wingstop. We might need to find somewhere slightly better. What's better? I don't know. Wingstop's not great. But it's not, I mean, unfortunately, it's Palm Springs. It's not chicken wing world. I know. Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. If you're in the Palm Springs area, where do you get your chicken wings? I do have a Margaritaville in Palm Springs. Ugh.

We can get them from there. They're not as good. I mean, I'd rather have Wingstop. You'd rather have Wingstop than Margaritaville? Very much so. You are being bad. I am not bad. You are being bad. No, I like a better chicken wing. I go, I think Margaritaville, corporate office, Florida. Wingstop, corporate office, Dallas.

Okay. Yeah, that's kind of how I go with that. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah. I could see that, but still, it's Palm Springs. I wish we had a Flanagan's out here. Yeah, I mean, nothing. Every single day. Flanagan's. I pray for a Flanagan's. God, I love that fucking place. It's fine. But, you know, we're going to have a great time at Contact in the Desert. We're also going to be doing a bunch of interviews that are not going to be for, you know, an audience that we're going to release later on in the month. I'm introducing Ed Larson to some true...

I'm not going to say the word kook. You just did. I'm just saying that we're going to meet some real members of the ufological society. I'm there to learn. You've only met classy people so far. Nick Pope, classy. Vaguely. Yeah. And then we got George Knapp, the most classy. The most. Oh, my God. That hair. High end. High, high, high end. God. We're going to see some guys who are a little bit lower on the ladder. Yeah.

But they're going to be just as incredible as anything else. And we might get you hypnotized. I got to say, lower on the ladder, probably better interview because they're not thinking about what they say. No. And I appreciate that. I like a little loose, loosey goosey on the old lips. Same thing. I like somebody who doesn't quite understand that the Internet is forever.

That's one of my favorite attributes of someone old. How are we going to destroy this again? Because you want to set it on fire. We're going to find out. I think that's a bad idea to do indoors. We've already been told to not set it ablaze due to the problems with Michael Sedona's original World Trade Center effigy burning and the issues that arise.

So we are going to... An audience member had to put it out with Gatorade. Yep. I remember. Which is the most that Gatorade served its purpose the entire weekend. I will say that. That's where the last time... That's the only place I saw electrolytes at work. I heard it's going to be 106 degrees. It's going to be real hot, buddy. It's real hot. And guess where you're going to see us?

By the pool. And that's why if you wanted to have any sort of unofficial conference time with me and you're coming to contact in the desert, bring your fucking bathing suit. I am sick of this. We're not all just going to be hanging inside talking. We're going to be in the pool this year. I can only rub so many crystals. I need you to come to the pool. We need to be drunk in the pool. We can get into the real stuff in the pool. What time does the pool close? I don't give a shit. I like a late night pool. Pool me out.

Yeah. You have to fish me out. Yeah. Time to go, sir. Call the police on me. And I just want to be like, I'm a Bonvoy member. I'm a Bonvoy member. Which gets you anywhere. It gets you everywhere. All right. We got some updates before we get into the rest of this.

Annabelle's gone. Maybe. There is a lot going on here. We've gotten some tips. Thank you for everyone who's reached out saying that Annabelle is missing. Annabelle's been kidnapped. They're saying Annabelle is missing. The Warren estate says...

No. Well, because who does this benefit? The Warren estate. Because the Warren estate doesn't want to believe that the weird relative that they let take Annabelle out of her little protective case out into the world so that she could finally go get woke, burn down a plantation, free all those prisoners. She's a full leftist.

Comrade. Anarchist. Anarchist. Renegade. She's in Tifa. Now she's free. Oh, she's in Tifa. Annabelle Tifa. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's all about Tifa. And so she's out there, but now, yes, obviously, the person that was responsible for Annabelle, what's his name again? This fucking... Isn't it Warren's son?

whatever he is, he looks like a guy that would lose Annabelle. He looks like, he looks like the competing tiger, like zoo owner in the Joe exotic documentary series. Cause he's got that like LA hat culture thing going on. So what's his name, Rob? Uh,

It's at Annabelle Tour. Okay, so he's doing it through the Annabelle socials where he's saying there's no way Annabelle's gone. Annabelle is absolutely fine. She's not missing. Was never in Chicago. Is not there. Then he shows this video being, look, here's Annabelle. It's in the occult museum, which could have been filmed at any time. All of this could have been filmed at any time. I actually, I'm watching this fucking show talk. I...

I think that's green screen. Whoa. That's TikTok. He's TikTok'd. That is a fucking green screen. Does that not look like he's in front of a green screen? Well, he's putting his face over the footage. The footage, which could have been shot, which is a lie. At any time. This is a fucking lie, dude. I think Instagram Live is the only way to fucking prove this shit. Put a newspaper

Keep her in front of Annabelle because right now, as far as I'm concerned, Annabelle's on her way to the fucking White House and I'm cheering her on. Yeah, I don't think... I need proof. Right now, I don't have proof. You just keep saying you want us to just believe that Annabelle's not missing. That's fine. I got messages from at least a dozen people all connected truly within the oddities community. And if anybody knows, man, I hate to say this.

Fucking Annabelle representatives. But I've got my sparrows everywhere. Yeah. I've got my little spiders everywhere. And they've got the ears on spiders with ears. And they hear all your fucking moves, dude. Yeah, and for the record, we didn't even ask for these sparrows. No. They just come squawking.

But now I feed them little bits of seeds, little bits of rum. Seeds and rum for my sparrows because, oh, I treat them well because their eyes and their ears are open for all the information that I need. You know what I think happened? I think this guy hitting the road with Annabelle. First time, like, because honestly, your first time hitting the road, you get a little full of yourself. You get a little excited. You party too much. You party too much. You make some bad choices. I bet man's drunk and he's like, yeah, you can

borrow Annabelle. Yeah, sure. He's talking to some 25-year-old. She's just got to be in Illinois by October. He's putting Annabelle on the shoulders of some 24-year-old who's going to come in and try to take over the Warren Museum because that's what these 24-year-olds do now. We saw that with Bill Belichick. They're coming in there to take care of our, take over our establishments. That's what we're doing here and they're trying to get through. Look at this guy. This guy is no name for this guy yet? I don't trust him. I mean... This guy is a total...

I want to trust him, but I don't. Let's hear him out real quick. Hey, guys. This is Dan. I'm here right at the museum right now. I just want to show you guys that Annabelle is in the Warrens of Colt Museum. And let's go inside and let's check. Cuts to footage that he's not in that could have been done at any fucking... And who's there? I don't know. Annabelle. He could have recorded this over this. Annabelle.

Annabelle's not missing. And now he's put himself in Chicago. Although it looks like he's there. Look at his hat. That is a green screen, dog. He is putting himself in that footage, dude. If you guys want to get tickets for that, you guys go to warrensconvention.com.

But he's still promoing the event where he says she's going to be at. They've replaced Annabelle. Also, Annabelle's just an old Raggedy Ann doll. It's very replaceable. They've replaced Annabelle. And she looks brand new. Why doesn't she look old? I don't know. I'm just saying. I know a lot of people say, like, you know, you don't want to fuel misinformation and shit. This isn't... We're investigating. I honestly...

I need more information. Sidestories, LPOTL at gmail.com. If Miss Sparrows are out there, I need you to give me a bit more tweets in there. Because what I think is going on here is that he, yes, I already see the situation. A 23-year-old with a fucking leather cowboy hat on and a halter top that says, hey, look at these. And she's talking to him. And he's just going, yeah, I'm on tour right now. I'm super all about it.

protecting little women from ghosts and shit. And she's like, oh, God, this is amazing. I don't believe you, though. I don't believe you. I'm going home with my ghost. He's like, no, wait. No, I got her in her fucking cage right here. And he goes and he pulls out Annabelle. And they're like, oh, God. Oh, it's Annabelle. He's like, hey, you want pictures with Annabelle? And they're like, yeah, you bet. You bet.

And then they're all taking pictures with Annabelle. He's doing a bunch of shots and shit. They're getting the blowjob shots. You're getting all that kind of stuff going on. Annabelle's then, they're doing karaoke. I'm just saying that she is in way too good of condition for being for the 60s. That's what they said about Jill Biden. Yeah.

Good one. Thank you. Really, thank you. But don't, yes, the Warren family and their museum and the Warren Occult Museum saying, oh, don't worry, there is no way Annabelle is gone. But we want to see a picture of Annabelle with a fucking newspaper in front of her face. Yes. Because if not, I'm meeting her at the front steps of the Capitol building.

And I invite you, Annabelle, to come with me on our brand new August 9th insurrection. Yep, I'm planning it now. August 9th. Yeah, so everybody come meet me there. It's going to be me, Annabelle, the Green Lantern. We're going to take down the White House together as a team.

His name is Dan Rivera. Oh, Dan Rivera. Thank you. All right. Yeah, Dan. Oh, he's with Nesper. Yes. I know about Nesper. Yeah, please. What's Nesper? That is the New England Society for Psychic Research. I would love for them to reach out. So if you want to possibly defend yourself or wonder about... Because I still think... I think Annabelle's out there. I think Annabelle's going to end up joining Doge. I don't know what's going to happen. Yes. And for the record, we're not anti-Annabelle. No, I'm right now...

I'm willing to see her out. Yeah. I kind of want to see what she does. She burnt down a plantation, which is kind of fun. I got some great emails on why plantations are bad. Oh, really? Why are they bad? It's got super bad history. Really? Yep. And then he burnt one of those down. She freed a bunch of prisoners, which again, largely neutral, except for the fact that a lot of them were murderers and rapists. Well, Annabelle...

is partial to murderers she is she likes murderers she does i think there's one living inside of her correct i think so yeah brad dorff yeah pretty certain i know i know i'm i'm a robert boy through and through you know but annabelle i'm down to hang and if you want to fuck robert i'm your end you want to get down like you want to get some fucking weird ass doll sex with robert

Come talk to me. I just heard from the little Robert doll that you have. You just went like, yeah, you fucking bet. Yeah, man. Yeah, you fucking bet I'll lay that fucking pipe. I'm going to turn that bitch out. Yeah, you bring her out here. Once you go, Robert, you don't go backward. That's right, man. She's going to need more stitches when I'm done with her. Yeah, I'm going to fuck her. I'm going to make her mouth open. That's right. Whoa, Robert. Hey. I know you're a sailor. But yeah, holy fucking shit. He's horny. I know it's Fleet Week. Hey, I know you're horny as hell. But.

But no, this is, yeah, Annabelle's out there, and she is going to affect the stock market. And I think that is going to be one of the bigger problems that we're going to see. It's a regular Raggedy Ann doll. They can make these, she can be 10 places at once, as far as I'm concerned. That's what I would do. Yeah. If I was Dan Spavara, whatever his name is. Why is she in such great condition? If she is such a murderer. It's a narcissist.

Yeah. They take great care of themselves. That's a good point. That's what happens. I mean, Lori Vallow looks like shit now. It's only because it's hard to work out where she is. And she's too busy. It's prison. That's all they do. She literally is spending her days writing nonsense pages long declarations and motions to this judge, this long-suffering judge that is now a part of her. This is now her second trial of...

She has had three trials, but two were back-to-back. So now she's still in Arizona. She's still her own representative. Okay. And she's still pro se. And it's the same judge. And the judge is getting over it. You can't.

you can tell the judge is over. Just wants to go back to being a normal judge again. So sick of dealing with her. There's so many things not getting solved and cases not getting closed because she's fucking tormenting everybody. And she's just, she's a villain. She's a literal villain. True villain. She's a homicidal maniac and

And looks like it gets more and more in hinge every day. She's trying to get a new trial. She tried to get the judge recused. She tried to do all of this stuff. And she's just writing all day. Just sitting in her cell. Like, she should be working out. Yes. Because honestly, getting swole is the new thing for chicks. I got to tell you.

It's crazy that I like Annabelle the doll more than Lori Vallow. I would rather have lunch with Annabelle. The doll. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Than Lori Vallow. I'd sit next to a doll that just does sitting there. Of course, it'd be much better. Yeah, much better. Yeah. I'd rather go on a date with Annabelle. Yeah, absolutely. Versus Lori Vallow. You got to be respectful. Yes.

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We have another update, which is very interesting. We talked about last week about the story of a guy who got the tip of his finger, the meat. Casper. Casper. He got the meat ripped off the edge of his finger. It's called degloving. Right? When they strip a bit into his hands. It was like we had a biter guy last week that we were covering. Yeah. And we got such horrific footage.

Imagery. From surgeons that have sent all of the things that you can do to fingers, what you can do to fix a finger, what you can do to pop new meat on the finger, and it is rough. It's wild. This one right here where it shows that you could reattach the finger by attaching a lump of

of your belly meat. So it's like you take what's left of the nubbin on your finger and you make a tube out of skin from your belly and then you wrap it around the edge of that finger while you're, I guess you're sleepy. The bone, yeah. You gotta be asleep for this, right? Of course you're asleep. Do you stay awake for it being attached to your belly like this? You have a finger full of stomach. But then the finger's attached to you, to your own stomach so that it can grow back. Yes. But is that then

Do you walk around like that? Like you're a fucking teacup all day? Do you have that picture, Rob? Let me throw that picture up real quick. Yeah, you want to look at it? So basically, I'm looking at it right now. So basically, this guy's middle finger was stripped

The meat was stripped off and it's just the bone and the bone needs blood to live. The bone is also alive. The bone is alive. So what they did was they grafted a bunch of the stomach skin around this guy's finger. Go down. And and then they attached it to him. And while it grew back around, so he's going to have like a weird.

formless middle finger, which will be so much more insulting. I mean, honestly, when you flick it at somebody, I'm going to put it this way. You can hear this Eddie and you probably should. Cause you probably be with me. Okay. It goes half far. Chop it off. Yeah. I don't need a, I,

I don't need a floppy, useless finger for aesthetic reasons. I'd rather have no finger. I think finger is okay to lose. Because then it's like you got a story. You got new ways to finger your wife. You got new feelings. Well, you can't if it's gone. Well, no. Then you switch to these two. It's like, oh, baby, would you like less finger? But...

I would just- Try explaining that. You mash these up in there, right? Or hitchhiker. Hitchhiker? Hit her with the hitchhiker. Oh, okay. No one does that. No one ever hits her with the Roman. Does yours go backwards? Because if it doesn't go backwards, I'm supposed to not trust you. Okay, good. Yeah. What? Did you ever hear that? If your thumb doesn't go backwards, you're supposed to not trust that person. What the fuck? Like if their thumb just goes straight up, like they're supposed to be evil. Is this stuff you learned in prison? This is stuff my mom taught me. Oh.

She said, don't, don't trust people that their thumb doesn't go backwards. She's very superstition. Very. So yeah, that was the whole thing my mom was doing. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta, yeah. So if they don't get their thumb, does it Rob, does your thumb go backwards? Let me see it. Oh yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Very far. We should have checked that months ago. Yeah. Um,

All right. Well, yeah. They use leeches also to suck the blood out. If they put the meat in the blood, if they put the skin around the bone and there's no meat in there, it gets filled with old blood. And the only way to get the old blood out is to have medical leeches. And sometimes you have to get special medical leeches that have to be flown in like organs. Wow.

Which is cool. Then cuts to the leech dealers, you know, for the fact that the leech dealers have their own fucking problems with each other. There's better leech dealers. You know, that's like one of those funny things about like any form of any business slash art where then like, you know, that there's politics.

in the medical leech world. Oh my God, there has to be. Oh, well, platinum leeches is definitely, they win the award each year for best leeches. Like, you know, they have to go to some award contest for breeding leeches. These leeches only take human blood. Yeah, yeah. These leeches, though. These are actually typo negative. If you could. If you don't mind, they're very particular. And these leeches are raised only to take llama blood for when we want to put leeches on a llama. That's just fun for us. Some people like to. Yeah.

So that's it. Most of this is just there's a lot of medical information that they sent us that we're not going to read. Yeah, we're not doctors. But apparently you can just reattach. You can sew it to the finger next to it sometimes, sometimes the palm. And it'll regrow once you sew it to another part of your body. And then once it regrows, you detach it and you got a finger again. Good Lord. So that's fucking cool. It is cool. That is very cool. Fuck.

But it's, you really fuck, the idea of sewing your own, sewing your own finger to your hand and then letting it cook there for a while. I love it. Humans are fucking crazy. Man, human, the human meat bag is a very interesting thing. And it's just important to remember that

We all eventually head towards the grave. Yum, yum. Give me some. All right, let's go to this story. Now, this was my favorite story of the week. Natalie sent this to me originally, and then we got a bunch of emails on this. And this is just another of like...

Crypto sounds rough, though. Oh, yes. This one. Okay, yeah. Crypto sounds rough. The old days, you know, like, you just keep your money in a bank. It's hard to get at. People carry their crypto around. It seems kind of... I think it seems irresponsible. If I had crypto, I'd bury it in the ground. I don't think you can, though. You put it on a hard drive and bury the hard drive. I guess. I guess.

Yeah. But I just don't even really understand. I'll never understand why you need a hard drive and why it can't just be on the cloud because of its fake money anyway, but blah, blah, blah. Again, everyone's yelling at me. I don't understand economics, and I never will. I had a meeting with a financial advisor who told me to get into crypto, and I just stopped talking to him. Yes. My guy specifically said, don't get into it right now. Yeah. It seems like a bad idea. I just don't really want to, and I don't want to give money. It doesn't make sense. I'd rather have less money. I don't need to give money to people that are...

Like at least sometimes when I give money to a big corporation, yes, it is to a bunch of criminals, but then I get something in return. I feel like when you start dealing in crypto, you start dealing with weird internet criminals somehow. You know, and it's just, I don't trust it at all. No, because it's for grifters. But I also understand people have made quite a bit of crypto money on crypto, but I do think it was because you got in like 15 years ago. But also other side of it. I just thought of this.

Fuck the bank. Yeah, fuck the bank. Fuck the bank. Why am I trusting the bank? I hate the bank too. They hate me more than a crypto hates me. I hate both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate both of them. Money's not real. Yep, no it's not. So this story is an example of when you really believe money is real.

Italian tourist allegedly kidnapped and tortured for weeks by a crypto trader in swanky New York City apartment. This guy was renting a $30,000 a month mansion in Manhattan, which is definitely not worth it. But this Italian tourist who this guy was working with, the guy that the Italian tourist went to the

Suspect's place to visit America. A man by the name of John Waltz, who's 37, he's from Kentucky. He lived in Nolita, which is, you only call it Nolita if you have money in Manhattan. Where is that exactly? I couldn't even possibly care. Yeah. It's one of those micro-neighborhoods in Manhattan that really only exists as a, in my term, as like essentially a real estate place.

way of giving, of making you make money. Yeah, it's like right above, like it's in the house scenario. Okay, it's basically, they don't want to, it's almost alphabetical. It's the East Village. It's Soho. Yeah. It's Soho. And so, very, very expensive. So, this guy was working with this Italian tourist, and apparently they had made a couple crypto deals before, and they had a big falling out. But then the Italian...

Like, they cut off work with this guy. He's like, I don't want to work with you anymore. And somehow, this suspect, John Waltz, convinced him to come back to America and say, hey, we're good. Let's do this. Cut to, he lands in America, meets up with his buddy. He then, I guess, fucking...

Tied him to a chair. Gagged him. Did all this fucking shit to him. Like, beat the fuck out of him. He said the one thing, one interesting torture I heard that he was doing to him was that he was putting his feet in a bucket of water and tasing him. Whoa. Because apparently it extra hurts you when you do that. Okay. He also was doing a lot of stuff like, you know, attacking his fingernails, hitting him with a hammer, hitting his knees a lot, doing that style of shit. He had a chainsaw, but he didn't use it. No, he kept going like, I'm going to give you the chainsaw.

I'm going to give you the chainsaw. Because the problem is that he couldn't give him the chainsaw because the guy had the code to his crypto banking hard drive. So the guy had his crypto banking hard drive there with him that he was trying to get. It doesn't say how much money was in it. No. But it sounded like it might have been quite a bit. It sounded like it might have been in the millions. And the man was tortured for two weeks. But then he managed to escape. There's been no details about how he escaped.

But it's a, that's a long time to torture somebody. Also, yeah. I mean, that's the thing. Especially that pro-rate. I don't want to be this kind of guy, but Italians are going to escape. They're slippery. Yeah, yeah. They're going to get out of there. Unless you have like a professional like prison, prison, prison.

Titans are getting out. Unless you put his mother in there with him, he's going to leave. Breaking news. We have a second suspect arrested in the crypto kidnapping torture case as of 1130 this morning. Oh, wow. There was a guy that was with him that he, I guess he did. He turned himself in as well. William Du Plessis.

Oh, he's rolling. Oh, yeah, yeah. Look at that fucking guy. That's a roller right there. He's rolling on his dude. He's fucking, yeah, he's a guy. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go fix this for myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's always the key, guys. I'll never say this enough to our crew. Always flip first. Yeah. If you're talking to cops. If you're going to flip, don't wait. Flip. Don't wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Flip immediately. Either flip or don't flip. Flip immediately. Just remember this. I also want to say, like...

Every single time you believe that some other criminal is going to honor the bond amongst criminals and they're going to do things in a way to protect you, remember that that's not going to happen. No. Ever. Anybody who's also a criminal, it's going to be a criminal. So you're a criminal. They're a criminal. You're both independent criminals, even if you're on the same team.

Just how it works. Yeah. Also, I want to say Waltz, when they arrested him, they arrested him in his bathrobe and he perp walked him outside of his fancy apartment and his dick came out. Yeah, it's kind of funny. That's all TMZ is saying about the story. That's all they're saying. I will say, though, like, I don't understand why, like, I've never been, unless I'm out of the shower, if I'm in the robe, I'm at least in my underwear. Mm-hmm.

Can I ask you this question about kidnapping, hypothetically? Sure. So you have someone kidnapped in your house for two weeks. Yep. What a hassle. What are you feeding them? You've got to feed them something if you want to keep them alive. I mean, I probably...

To be honest, I'd probably feed him well because I want him farting and shitting everywhere. Yeah, yeah. I'd let him sit in his own shit. So I'd probably give him a nice couple, like an egg white omelet in the morning. Well, that's not a shitty. That's good. That's what I'm saying. Keep him healthy. I'd probably give him a nice Caesar salad for lunch. Probably order a Caesar salad. You don't want to give him a fork. No. You don't want to give him a fork. No, you got to eat it horse style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to eat it like a horse. Put it in a wrap. Caesar salad wrap, maybe. You could use a wrap as a weapon.

You think so? I don't know. I'm just saying I'd rather see me with his face. Because it's my kidnapping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then later on, I mean, some nice chicken. Yeah. Again, this is if I'm cooking. If it's my house, there's also a place like this that's probably got a wonderful kitchen. Know what I'd get? I would just get what I'd get and then probably an appetizer too and just he can have whatever's left. Wow. Yeah. See, I'd want to keep him fed.

Yeah, oh no, that's good. That's good eating. I eat plenty. I probably keep them big. That's how Julie eats. Yeah. I get whatever I'm going to get. Whatever falls out of your mouth. And I get something else on the side so she can have something. That's how it always is. Natalie also doesn't eat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how it goes. What are you going to do? I don't know. Yeah. But yeah, I would take good care of him. You got to take good care of him. Because again, I'm trying to get the password. At least for the first week. I'm trying to get the password. Yeah.

So for a while, like you could smack a guy all you want, but they always said this with the extreme torture techniques and what do they call advanced torture techniques is that it just makes somebody say anything. No, what you do get a wire stripper, strip the finger.

sew it to his belly. Whoa, cool. That's healing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you want me to sew your bone to your belly so you build a finger, you have to show them the diagrams we got. And then you could just see in the middle of me just going like, I don't know what I'm doing. There is blood everywhere. It's a nice apartment. But this whole thing fell apart pretty quickly. And the Italian guy does look like

How do you put it? He looks like a little crypto man. Little crypto men are everywhere. The little crypto men with their little haircuts and their tiny mouths. There's something about them with their V-neck shirts everywhere that cost like $350, but it just could be a Hanes shirt as far as you're concerned. Yes. I just will never understand. Crypto is like the way to make money if you are just independently wealthy and never have any experience, no proper education. Well, it seems like it's just another way to make money.

a lot of money quickly if you know all of the people involved and you have to be a part of one of these like rug pull things yeah and if you like crypto good for you I mean yeah teach me yeah or you know what keep it to yourself

We've had it explained. We've had it explained multiple times. I've talked about this in the show every single time. And people have tried to explain it. And I guess, well, I just don't care. I get it. I understand the concept. Yeah. It's new money. But I don't like it. Yeah, it's just new money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just other money. Also, thank God NFT's bombed. Oh, I mean, they're still... That made me so happy. That made me so happy. That dumb shit still pops up. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. What a waste. You fucking jerks. Listen, sorry about that, everyone.

I just get so mad when it comes to useless money stuff. Listen, we had another police, another prison break. Oh, great. This guy is very interesting. It's not a long story. Okay. All right. So, but this guy, former police chief serving for murder and rape sentences, escaped from an Arkansas prison. This dude looks crazy.

terrifying. I just don't even understand how the fuck. So he dressed up like a police guard, but not a police guard. They don't know how he got or made this outfit. Obviously he's an ex police chief. I imagine he had some fucking help and he definitely had some form of connections to, but he just kind of walked out wearing this outfit. I'll never understand guys within the police force helping someone

like this level of crime. Like I could see if you're doing a financial crime or if you're something else, like I could see. He probably got something on him. But it's just like the idea of wanting to help a rapist is the lowest form of like the brotherhood in blue. So you're fine that he raped somebody? It's weird. He got 30 years for the murder, 50 for the rape. Well, I mean, that's actually weirdly...

refreshing, but it's also probably how serious whatever the attack was. It was in 1997. There isn't much information on it, but the man's name is Grant Harding. He's a big scary kingpin looking motherfucker. He does look like kingpin. I don't know. He's apparently taken... They call him the devil in the Ozarks. He's a very scary dude. He was...

Police chief for a couple of months and then immediately got locked up for murder and rape. See, it's like he became... I mean, I guess that's what it takes, you know. Look at people like Selena Gomez. They make it. So you're comparing this man to Selena Gomez? I'm just saying, mediocre people make it to the top all the time. Really? You think she's mediocre? She's the definition of mediocre. Really? Yes, she's a baby face. She manages to stand between...

Steve Martin and Martin Short, two of the most entertaining people on the face of the planet. I was wondering where this was coming from. She's wonderful. She's fine in it, but she's only because she's next to those guys. I feel like she doesn't, you know, I like her for the record, but I feel like she doesn't move her mouth when she talks. She has a, she looks like the, remember in Muppets Christmas Carol? You remember the ghost of Christmas past? Do you remember what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah.

That's what she looks like. The little doll girl. Yeah. The sleeping doll ghost girl. Yes, but I know she's like 40 now, but she still looks like a child. She's not 40. She's something. I hate to break it to you. She's not your age. Come on, everyone is. She's younger than you. Everyone's either 40. What is she? 32. Yeah, it's the same. No, it's not. It's much different.

It's much different. She's 10 years younger than you. So deal with that. I think she's beautiful. She is beautiful. I'm not saying anything that she's not. She's gorgeous. I'm saying she's mediocre. I think she's talented and beautiful. I'm saying she reminds me of this sheriff that was convicted of murder and rape. Yes. And that is broken out of jail. That's all I'm saying. Six foot five, 320 pounds. I'm just confused.

Comparing her rise to stardom. How this man is hiding anywhere, by the way, is blowing my mind. He's a gigantic fucking booger. Because he's in Arkansas and half of them look like that. They said he's taken to the woods and eventually he's going to run out of supplies. And it's hard. We're the land that he's taken to. He's like Rambo.

They think it's very rocky and they can't get up there. They can't get the dogs up there. But I feel like he's a very, how do I put this, unathletic version of Rambo? I think he's sitting up there being like, once this last bush is done, last when I take the city myself.

Once I'm done with this lash slits. Yeah. But a lot of people turned on him. Yeah, of course. And they're very scared that he's going to come take revenge. Yeah, he's a murderist and a rapist and a former fucking sheriff. Yeah. Yeah. He's a dangerous man. He's a sheriff. Oh, yeah. And he did it to a teacher, too, which is always the worst. But, you know, and there was a documentary about him in 2023. Yeah, it was The Devil and the Older. So now they get to make another episode. Oh.

Isn't that nice? Hollywood wins again. Hollywood comes out on top one last time. We did it, guys. I just want to talk about this next little topic because I just want to rail on this for a little bit because we're already in kind of, you and I are in a bit of an uncle mode anyway. Yes, absolutely. Let's just continue. No, let's lose some more fans. Let's just fucking stay in there today.

Listen, we got a lot going on. I just need to get a shit. Anytime you say anything that's really upsetting, just touch the World Trade Center effigy for thankful. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I'm sorry. I wish you were still there. We used to do that in the roast writer room. Whenever someone said a joke that was like way too awful, you just touch the table and say apologize. I'm sorry. And then all is forgiven and then we move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you have to. You got to get it passed.

I'm sorry if Selena Gomez Nation comes after me. Guess who's also fucking absolutely mediocre? Taylor Swift. Whoa. Yeah. You know what? Fighting words. I'll touch this for you. Fighting words. Taylor Swift. Tower one for Taylor. Tower two for Selena. The only thing Taylor Swift could be good for this world is if she snuck her way into the White House and made some good decisions by pretending to be a fan of some people within the administration. Get in there. Take them out one by one. Then...

I will tell you honestly that I'm a fan. You know who the new Taylor Swift is? Kendrick. Kendrick took it. He's great. He took it from her. What? Just the biggest act in the world. Yeah, but Kendrick's a far better artist than Taylor Swift. Of course, but he took it. That's what I'm saying. He's the new, he took over. She had the heiress tour and now his tour with SZA is fucking way bigger. I couldn't afford it.

Yeah. I really wanted to go, and I just couldn't. It was like thousands. I was like, really? I just can't even. You know how we'll get in there, man? I can't even break the bank. It's over. No, no. I know how we get into the next one. Let's go find the next one. We're going to battle Mike our way in there. Whoa.

We're going to wrap our way into the concert. Oh, my God. Should we put out a Kendrick distract? Hey, what do you say? I don't think Kendrick is not that gay. Ooh. We're workshopping. Yeah, we're coming for you, Kendrick. You better watch because my incendiary take on your lifestyle is going to go viral. Oh, Mr. Kendrick, you give me the ick. I wish you could get yourself sick. God damn, that's hot. Woo! Yeah! Woo!

Yeah, Mr. Kendrick, I think you're lame. I saw those pants. What are you, a dame? Yeah. Honey mustard! Woo! Chicken nugget! Chicken nugget! We are going to get in this concert, Eddie. He's going to be so impressed by our lambasting him with words and rhymes and guplets that he is going to put us directly on stage. You're fucked, bro. Coming for you, Kendrick Lamar. We're next.

You're not like us. You're not like us. How about that? How about that, Mr. Patrick LeBron? You ain't like me. Shots fired. See if we get on. See what Charlotte Mending the God has to say about that. Yeah, we're going to be. They're going to put us on. What was that? What's the show? The Breakfast Club. We're going to go down. We're going to talk some sense to these fools. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But over lunch. Yes, please. If we could. I don't like to get up that early.

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Now, I want to talk about this because let's just stay in this place because I just want to complain about this one thing. All right. French pizza chef accused of killing man before dismembering and cooking body parts in pot of vegetables. Now...

Wow, I just flipped this. First of all, this French pizza chef, right? He confessed to killing a six-year-old man in his isolated home. This is the saddest thing I've ever seen. He ran this thing. He ran a French-Italian fucking whatever restaurant called Don Filippo in this very, what a wonderful Italian-sounding place. It's in the St. Sernin-sur-Roch restaurant.

In fucking France. First of all... The village of Brasque. If you tell me you're some kind of French pizza maker, I'm going to tell you...

Get the fuck out of my face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay? Because you're some kind of fancy ass, French ass, fucking pizza faker. That's what I'm calling you. Pizza faker. You're a pizza faker. Yeah. Okay? Because guess what's not French? Pizza. And guess what's fucking dumber than your French ass trying to make pizza in the world? What is it, Henry? Killing a man in his isolated home to steal his weed. Yeah. That is literally why he killed this man.

God, people say weed's not addictive. It is. But weed's not that hard to get. In France it might be. I don't know. In France? It's got to be easy. They love smoking. I've seen it. I've seen it. I smelt it when we were in Paris. Yeah. I smelt it on the struts. You know, but how stoned do you think you've got to get to eat French pizza?

Maybe that's the problem. Oh, wow. So cannabis is not legal in France. But that doesn't mean anything. Weed's still easy to get. You have all the French rappers and stuff wearing their tube hats and stuff. French rappers are the weirdest. You see the French president or premier, whatever the fuck he is, prime minister. He got hit by his wife. Slapped him. She's like 30 years older than him. It's like a teacher thing. She's older than him. Yeah. And she hit him. Yeah. He said they were being sexy.

Oh yeah? In front of everybody? French, they can hit each other He can't hit her He can't hit her on the face And then she can hit him I guess But babies can smoke

Yes, babies love snow. Now you're looking up- What about French bread pizza? French bread's fucking American. French bread we made. It's so stupid. Anything called French bread is American made. Yeah. All right? Because guess what they call bread in France? Yeah, what do they call- Guess what they call bread in France? Bread. And guess what's all over there? Yeah, it doesn't look like that. I had it over there. It's nicer over there. I had their sandwiches and Paris French-

Sandwiches were good. Ham and cheese croissant. That was good. Not a croissant. I even had a baguette. Whoa. I did it just like those little fucking big-titted French girls where I went to the... Are you trying to say big-titted French girls don't like croissants? No. I'm saying I was like those big-titted French girls where I went to the little wagon and I saw a man with a big mustache and he was like, much for your wife. And I was like, you don't have enough to buy my wife. And then I went and I bought him, but then he kind of showed me my...

I was like, no, no, no. And then he went and bought, and then I bought like a sandwich just off a cart. Yeah. And he was absolutely, it was just like, I felt like, what's her name? Madeline. Madeline? From the children's books. Oh, I feel like Madeline. I wouldn't have gotten a Claire.

And I fucking, just like I did with Rob, I fucking full-on Jenna Jameson to Nick Clare in the streets of Paris. Well, that's how you're supposed to do it. Oh, dude. Yeah, no chew. Yeah, no chew. No chew. Swallow that shit. Yeah, I felt like little Madeline with my yellow hat. And I got my big old baguette with ham and cheese in it. And I was like...

Oh, wee, wee, wee. It's a pee-pee. Wee, pee-pee. I remember that fucking chick. Yeah, dude. She was annoying as fuck. Yeah, you get a smaller hat. She was always getting into issues. Yeah, get some parents. Honestly, with Madeline, too, it's like, you better be careful you're not getting trafficked out in fucking France, dude. Amen. So these guys, this guy fucking killed this old man literally to steal his weed. That's fucked up. And I think partially it's because he is so fucked up by being a French pizza chef. And then knowing that that's fake.

And it's bad and it's stupid. Yeah. And obviously people are going to attack me, but I will take that because I looked at the pizza in Paris. All right. I was in Paris. I looked at the pizza. It looked bad. Yeah. It was just hanging out.

I remember French bread pizza was given to me as a lie when I was a child. French bread pizza was fine when you were a child, but it's for a child's palate. Well, the thing is, it was when I was a fat boy and Weight Watchers would make the frozen French pizza. I remember. And my mom would feed it to me all the fucking time. Exactly what.

And it's like, there's no way this frozen French bread pizza is making me lose weight. Dude, we used to go through, it was the same. They would just give us piles of spaghetti and tell us it was Weight Watchers. I remember this. It was crazy. We went through all of that. Fettuccine Alfredo.

Alfredo, and it's like the worst shit in the world. Snackwell's cookies? I would just take down a sleeve of those Snackwell's. Oh my God, and they were horrible too. I'm on a diet. Yeah, I'm on a bit of a diet. So I switched to the diet cookie. Can we look up what's the best...

Best pizza restaurant in France. Look at this fucking loser. I thought this was a good pizza in France. That's him. This is the murderer. Oh, that's him. His pizza looks terrible. His pizza does look terrible. There's hardly any cheese on it. You know what it is? If you call your eggplant parm cheese an aubergine fucking pizza, lose me. I will say, looking at this man, he does need weed.

He does. He does. Someone like, honestly, like someone needs to get this man some weed. I'm looking this up. Just the old fashioned internet. Is weed hard to get in Paris? In Paris. Yeah. Well, he's not in Paris. He's in a little village. It's all close.

There's big estates. Yes. All right? That's the thing about Europe. We forget. Each one of their whole countries is the biggest estate. They can drive anywhere. All right? So fuck whatever, dude. Yeah. All right? So it's weed legal in France. France has the highest cannabis consumption in Europe. Okay. That makes sense. That is what they're saying right here. Over Amsterdam? That's over six months. Yes. Well, there's more of them, though. Than in Amsterdam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that makes sense. Yes.

But look at this. Why in the living fuck are you not having free ass legal weed in France? Yeah. Does anyone other than the Dutch have legal weed in Europe? I believe the Germans maybe? No. They're too strict. They're not though. Germans are extremely liberal. Really? Germans are technically German society is perfect right now. I mean, if you smoke weed in Germany, would you have to like wrap it in leather and beat the shit out of it? I think that's how you get the weed. Yes.

I think you have to do that to a big German man. Yeah. But I think that weed, is it? Yeah. Germany countries, Netherlands, Germany, Malta, and Luxembourg all have legal cannabis consumption. I mean, that's a fucking advertisement right there. Germany's fucking, I mean, we love Germany, but I mean, Berlin is the place that we went to that I felt, I felt the least cool I'll ever be.

Well, man, I'd love to be stoned there. That sounds great. It was awesome. Yeah, so this is what I'm saying. This guy didn't have to go that far to get weed. He didn't have to kill. You never, I'm just going to put this out there. You never have to kill for weed. You don't have to kill for weed. Kill for crypto. That I understand. That I understand. But this guy didn't even kill for crypto. No, because he couldn't because he needed a fucking password. Yeah. You know what you don't kill for? Fish. Zachary. Fish.

I'm mad at this guy. He's a fisherman. This story's fucking brutal. It's brutal, but like, fuck this guy. He's a fisherman from Panama City, and he just got 30 days in jail for killing dolphins. And he runs charters off of... Hear this again. 30 days in jail. Yes. For openly shooting dolphins. In front of children. With a shotgun. Yeah.

Yeah. Taking a shotgun out into the water, shooting dolphins in the head like he's fucking Travis Bickle over the water. And he went out there. He literally, because he was mad that they were eating the snapper. Yeah. He was fishing and he would catch a fish and then the dolphin would eat the fish that he caught. And I don't know how often this really happens. I mean, come on. But they're saying he also poisoned a bunch of dolphins and he poisoned up

to 70 fucking dolphins this guy um he would put in he would stick methanol into bait fish and then throw them at dolphins when he saw them and he'd get them to eat it and it would it would it was a it's a toxic pesticide that acts uh that acts against the nervous system of humans mammals and other animals yeah and so this guy he's fucking killing up to 70 dolphins

And they gave in Panama City, Florida, which is a bad place. It's bad. You know me. I fucking love Florida. Panama City's garbage. But he, 30 days. That's just crazy. For 70 dolphins. 30 days. You shoot one dolphin in front of children? More than a month. You know? More than a month. Well, how'd the kids react?

If they were like, oh, thanks. Another one. Yeah, there's another one over there, sir. That's the difference, is that if the kids are all like, yay, yay, now kill my dad. That's different. If they were all ready to go, that's what's hard. If the kids asked for it. Yes. Hey, mister.

Have you ever used a shotgun? Yeah, I used a shotgun all the goddamn time. But never. Have you ever used it on the ocean? Oh, yeah. When the dolphins come in here and they start eating my snapper, I'm like, hold on, there's one right now. Bam! That's the funnest time.

God damn it, someone get that kid some binoculars. Yeah, I want to see its guts. Shoot it in the dick. Ah, that makes sense. Florida makes killing dolphins. Oh, that's why he was... That was what he got was $51,000 in fines. That's still not even $1,000 a dolphin. They just don't care enough. That's still not even...

that much. It's the Gulf of Mexico. We're limited. There's oil spills. It's Florida. The measles are killing the children. I want to say it's raining fire. They don't care about the dolphins.

70 of the most beautiful creatures in the ocean. They don't care about the dolphins. They gave this guy 30 days. That's crazy. Yeah. Dolphins, are you ready for this? You kill a dolphin, you should be in longer than if you kill a dog.

I think dolphins should be one of the highest sentences you can get for killing an animal. I'd put them all in the same bracket, but the only one I'd put above all of them is a chimpanzee. Oh, absolutely. I think if you strangle a bonobo, it depends on how you do it, too. Bonobo's the closest to human society. I thought that was a macabre.

No. Oh, okay. Oh, but Elbow is the closest. It's the closest, right? They're tiny. They are, but they're the closest to us at our brain power, right? So I think that if you were to kill it, also if you were to kill a Bonobo in a way like stabbing it to death or doing it in like an arm bar or something like that, you should also get more. Yes, of course. Of course. I don't think it matters the way you kill it as much as you're just doing it. I feel like you should. Yes. Yes.

Just funner for the jury. Oh, yeah. Funner for the jury. Oh, you lit him on fire. You didn't strangle him. So we're going to have to give you two years. If you strangled him, we'd give you one. See, fire is different. Fire is different. How did he not get the maximum punishment? What is the maximum punishment? I can't read that. One year in jail per violation. $100,000 in fines and one year in jail. He should get 70 years in jail.

Call 1-877-WHALLE-HELP to fucking register your complaints. This is fucked up. Like, I really think this is crazy. Also... It's Florida, buddy. He should be... They should take his fucking boat. He should never be allowed in the ocean again. It's the most corrupt state. And also, it's one of the most corrupt areas. Yes. So it is not a... They don't care. I know.

They don't care about humans. Why would they care about the dolphins? I feel like if it was in a different county, this guy would have gotten more fucked. Like if this was down in Key West, Key West, they'll lock you up for more than a shift for just taking too many conch shells. My father was attacked so brutally by a pit bull

in his neighborhood and the cops did nothing you think they're gonna this is the most they'll do this is literally the most they will do because it is for dolphins if you didn't shoot the dolphin in front of children unless the kids were the ones that were into it and then again it probably was just because they were mad that he was wasting bullets elementary school children they were elementary school

Those aren't even high school kids. Not even middle school. I weirdly think, though, if I was in elementary school watching it, I would have been like, wow, yeah! Yeah, get him again! I feel like middle school I would have been like that. There was a couple of rough years for me in middle school where I was very anti-people being alive. And I'm glad I got past that. But weed really helped me explore my empathy. But...

But you really have done it, Eddie, and you have grown and you have changed. Yes, yes. Yeah, you owe a $51,000 fine and 30 days in jail. It's almost worth it for this guy to keep doing it. Maybe he likes it. Yeah. Maybe. Who knows? Move to Japan. Join the Cove. Do it right. Yeah, get paid to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Get out of America. That makes sense. Deport this guy.

I think they're going to import more of them. Unfortunately. This is what we like. Do we have any... I don't know. I have one letter. It's too long. It's too long. Is there a shorter way? There's plantation houses. It's all just saying they're bad. Of course they're bad. Yep. Yeah, why would they not be bad? But they're just obviously. Yeah. Of course they're bad. We have a feeling. Yeah, no one's happy about them. Yeah. Yeah.

No, but they used to be around more often. And a lot of them have been left around. But I think my question was, can we build new ones? Well, you can. But the idea is that the letters I received said the issue really is that also the style of home that it is is considered like a colonial. It's considered European style of home. And it was considered a tribute to the glorious days of the powerful white man in Europe.

I mean, that's all Europe is to this day. Depends on the country. Depends on the country and also... That's right. It's just getting the land, plantation home, and then I just think... I love going to Solvang. Little Dutch town, windmills. Adorable. I think as long as you just keep saying, I'm sorry, it should be okay. You also can just build a different style house and it'll be fine. I do one that looks like a UFO. I just... Yeah. But still, I gotta say...

Wraparound porch. I mean, that's the only thing. The wraparound porch. That's all I really like about it. Total wraparound porch. I mean, that's like when you know you've made it. Or like that thing in New Orleans homes when you go through and they have like the middle part that's outside. I love this. That's one of my favorite things. Oh my God. It's like a house all around it and they have an inner courtyard in there. It's so cool. So fucking cool.

cool. That really is cool. I don't think I'll ever have that kind of money. Is that a UFO home? Yeah, this is in Palm Springs. We should get this next year. You can rent this. I actually looked into renting this UFO home for a whenever, like some...

The problem, though, is that it's got very bad air conditioning, and it really just looks cool. Okay. It just looks cool. Go in the winter. Go in the winter to the UFO home. It's very warm in there. It would be fun to do during contact, though. It would be. Honestly, it's available for contact. So come check it out. Contact in the desert. You can stay in the weekend in an extremely expensive UFO. Hold on.

It's available for contact? It might be. How is the UFO home not taken? It might be. I mean, I might be wrong. It's taken. It's taken. I was going to say, if someone is not staying in the UFO home during contact, then the whole fucking festival is a sham. Fucking better be George Knapp and Jeremy Korbel. Breast friends. Breast friends. They just sleep chest to chest on a tiny cot. That's what people don't understand. They do sleep in a bed together. Yeah.

But it's not sexual. Yeah. And I'm surprised you brought up William Green and not Josh Speed. I want to save Josh Speed for our episode. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because that was his real boyfriend. Yes. Yeah. Tune in for the Josh Speed love affair. Abraham Lincoln was a man.

About a man. Complicated morals. No, not morals. Just he had a complicated life. He lived every day. He loved the man who owned slaves. You know, but he loved the man who owned slaves. Uh-oh. And then he loved the man who owned slaves. It wasn't just that the ninja says he's a slave owner. There was a man in there. Okay. And Abraham Lincoln made sweet love to that man. His mouth, his butt.

Honestly, you could live every day being like a president. You know what I mean? Have your wife, have your best friend lover, be best friends with somebody and best friends with them at the same time. Tall, strong man with perfect thighs. Yeah. Fucking split my rails any day. Love getting absolutely having your butt handed to you by an old friend and then laugh knowing it's just another funny story.

to tell all the guys down at the VFW about how you, Abraham Lincoln, Slimer from Ghostbusters, all had a full-on gay ass orgy, but it doesn't make you gay because of how much you love this country. Well, back then they had VAWs, Veterans of American Wars, because it was a civil war. But I don't know if they had it by then. No, they probably didn't. I'm just saying if they did, it was the American War that they would have been celebrating.

It's nothing. It's the War of 1812. And what's civil about war? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. We already made this. Yeah, you already did. We did a whole episode about it. But they haven't heard it yet. No. Because it actually comes out on Friday. This week. You'll hear it. So get into it. It's about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. If you didn't know. Did you know it was actually Lee Harvey Oswald? Yeah. Crazy. His time traveler.

Wait, you get to episode four. You're going to love it. Go to the patreon.com slash last podcast left and you can watch us yell and do all of that and all that shenanery. And you can see us also perform live every Tuesday for our stream last stream on the left. Every Tuesday, 6 p.m. PST. You can go and see us flap them gums. And it's only through the Patreon. And also just know nothing's changing about the stream.

Nothing. About last stream on the left. Nothing's changing about last stream on the left. It's staying exactly the same. We're going to have a bigger announcement about our next couple years of here at LPN. Yeah. We're going to be doing our keynote commencement speech this Wednesday. Our own Z23. Yes, it's going to be coming out today when this episode comes out. So you'll see me and you can talk to me and ask me questions.

And... It doesn't mean our YouTube. How many fans do you think we lost today? Oh, the weak ones. The weak ones, yes. Not you. Never you. World War Trade Center. World War Trade Center, FG, you get our content.

I'm so sorry you have to die next week. I can't wait to kill you. You should take it in the pool. Oh, what a good idea. It never got to go. It never got to go in the pool. It never did. Wow, that's cute. But now it is pools. Come out and check more of that at Contact in the Desert. Coming this weekend. All right, fuckers. Bye-bye. Bye, everybody. Hell, the World Trade Center. Bye.

Go on, get a little out there into the big heart of Nevada, where you can go off road and off the map on two lakes or on horseback. Dip into hot springs and dive into deserts. Climb a mountain or make your best effort. See thousands of stars in some of the darkest skies. Stake out haunted hotels. Can you make it to sunrise? There's always something new to see because we've got plenty of space to just be. Plan your trip at TravelNevada.com.

Thank you.

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