Side Stories: smartschoolboy9
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There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes.

All right. Let me know whenever you're ready to go, Mr. Edward. I'm ready. I'm sitting waiting. Oh, you're sitting waiting for me? Yeah. On today? Yes. Of all days? You're waiting for me? Yes. To begin comedy again, Eddie? That's right. Our favorite comedy holiday. It's so good to be back from break. Yes. On the funniest day of the year, 9-11. I got two of them. Yep.

Yes. Not for very long, though. Not until 9.15. When was it? I was asleep. It was an outside job. That beautiful Tuesday morning. It wasn't an inside job. The planes are outside. It was all outside. It was all outside. I didn't see it happen in the lobby. Nothing happened inside. No, nothing happened inside the offices except for financial corruption. Yes. But that's where the buildings crimes themselves. It was the death of paperwork. You know, everyone went online after that. You know, no one's seeing giant files anymore. See? Guys, guys.

So change did come about. Positive change. 9-11 in that way then was good. 23 years young. It's just nice to see a fucking, it's a nice natural disaster that can't yet rent a car. But when it can, man, it's going to be driving all over the roads of this great country of ours. Do you think they'll ever let it fly a plane? Not for, you know what? Let's let it last to 40. Because you know how I know about 40? Yeah.

is that you're finally a real person when you're 40. I would tell you how my mom thought that the 9-11 hijackers were using the same library as her. Let's save this. Let's save this. I don't know when. I don't know when we would bring this back. It's 9-11 today! I know. Save it for when? When?

Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henry Zebrowski, here with Ed Larson. Please describe your mother's connection to the pilots that did 9-11. Well, you know how some of them trained in Delray Beach, Florida? Yes. Well, that's where my mom lived, and she didn't have the internet at home. And then so she was always using the internet at the library. And then she said some not so...

nice terms about some people that were also using the internet library. I feel that some of this might have been your mother's present. But the timeline lines up the location and time because they were using library computers. And my mom had to use the library computers. But I believe they were in Western Ware. They spared her.

She wasn't in New York. She was in Florida. But she wasn't in the building. No, no, wasn't in the building. They couldn't leave a trail. Well, your mother should have done something. She should have stepped up. She should have done something. Yeah, Ma. Yeah, holy fucking shit.

Well, she's in heaven now. And so I hope that she's just hanging out with them and they're all having a conversation. First of all, she's probably dealing with the piles of virgins that are surrounding them that have to be at this point at 23 years. Super fucking annoying. Yeah.

Oh, man. What if my mom was mistakenly given to them as a virgin? And she'd be like, I had the biggest baby. And then they're like, let us check. 9-11. 9-11.

11 brings the hymen back. Remember that. Side stories. We've been gone for two weeks. We haven't gotten better at podcasting since, as you can tell. But it's good to be back, isn't it, Eddie? It really is. You know, it's weird to have a vacation so long that by the end of it, you're like, please.

make me... I started having conversations with you on the phone, and I was like, we shouldn't hold this. Yes, exactly. We should stop. Save the joking. I didn't want to say anything funny to you while we were on vacation. This is called monetizing a friendship. But we...

It's funny because I definitely got fully bored. Like, I got to the point where I was so happy with myself. Yeah. Where I got to entirely bored. Yeah. Where I was so ready. I spent three hours looking at... You ever do that thing? This is my relatable content for the week. You ever do that thing where you're online shopping, right? Yes. But you're online shopping for...

for a person that doesn't exist. Like, that man is not me, who I'm looking at the clothes for. He'll never be me. You bought it? No. You did give me random shorts. Yeah, I did. They're great. I did buy random shorts, and they did not fit me, but they fit you. Yes. Because they were too big for me. Yes, and they were just right for me. Yeah, but guess what, Eddie? Okay.

Getting fat again. Dude, I put on 10 pounds. Yeah, me too. Same thing. That was one of my big projects during the break. Yeah, I really put on some weight. You went full Nona one night. Oh, buddy. I made fucking my homemade raviolis. I was doing that. I was barbecuing for myself. I was just getting hoag. Fucking wild, dude. Night Horse came out. Hardcore, dude. One night, I did it. It's been so long. And I...

I don't know if I should be proud or not, but I ordered $85 worth of dim sum for myself. Whoa. And I just fucking. That's great, man. Like an old age, dude. How many Cokes they give you? Just fucking, they gave me two. Yeah, that's nice. And I was just like, no shit, dude. And so I ate all, but then I, yeah, so, but I am now shamed and ready to move on. Yeah, I had a little bit of a spot of the COVID. Yep. And then. A little dollop of COVID. Right atop. And I was so, I was first, I was furious. And I was like, you know what?

Everyone stay away. Yeah, yeah. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. Definitely don't talk to me. I just loaded myself up with edibles and slept all kinds of crazy hours. I'd wake up at 2.30 in the morning and stay up till like 10 a.m. Thank you, Wouin. And it was nice. Sometimes it is nice. Sometimes a good spot of COVID is so nice because then nobody can tell you to do jack shit. Yeah, especially COVID on vacation. Fuck you, everybody. I'm not doing anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cannot literally, cannot make me do anything. Yeah, man. It was pretty great. But. I watched four different alien movies. I watched all of the movies to gear up for Romulus, but I haven't seen Romulus yet. Oh, you haven't seen Romulus yet? I haven't seen it yet. Whoa. I literally did very little. I did very, very little the entire time. I ended up seeing Deadpool and Wolverine. It was entertaining. It was good. It wasn't bad. It was fine. It was a bunch of stuff I didn't understand. I saw Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Good. Fine.

It was fine. Heard it was fine. Better than I thought it was going to be. I'm going to go look at it just for the sake of, I believe as a millennial, I have to or I can't get my retirement. There were moments where I was watching, I was like, oh, that's funny. You see, and that's, what is a comedy more? I feel like that's called comedy in 2024. There's so much of that of being like, oh, that is funny. Yeah. That is technically funny. That is a technical funny joke. Good work. But as I was saying,

Yes, we did very little. We did very little, but we did get a lot of updates. And so there's one piece of missed news that I wanted to cover while we were gone, but you got some important updates to Soupgate. Yes, I got some Soupgate updates. Because that shit still... One thing, right before I conked out into total unconsciousness during the break, was I saw...

that somebody had gotten the license plate of somebody dropping off. Drew's on this shit, dude. And he's got a crew. We're in the hazy legal grounds of this. Whoever's out there slinging soup, you're going to get gone. We are coming for you, dog. Yeah, man. And we know what car you drive, and I know you smoke cigarettes. Drew's fucking outside your house looking in your windows, man. He's not. No, he's not. But he is. Legally, let's cover and say he's not. But also, someone did post a picture of...

Of the, apparently the very suspicious vehicle that had left some bags of soup behind. Again, for those of you that are completely have no idea what's going on, just quick sum up. Bags of soup are being left all over Southern Knoxville. Pickens Gap. It's fucked.

And it is getting to a ludicrous amount. We're talking to over 60 bags of various materials that have been left in the middle of the road, and it's going to get dangerous. Somebody eventually is going to skid over one of these things and kill themselves. And the cops are on it. Well, now they are. Because of people like us. Because reporters like us. That's right. Because the thing about journalism is that what I learned on break is that journalism is all about...

Putting power to task. Yeah, and then blindly calling people over a Facebook messenger. That's the idea. And just sort of pin in a bunch of crimes on somebody that it might not be true, but then you try to clear it up later on. Yes, yes. Yeah, that is very true. Also, you know, we never know what's going to happen. A lot of people still think it's an inside job, but the soup went quiet for a week. It did, but you keep saying again, how could it possibly be an inside job? It's happening outside. Yes, very true.

Very true. Very true. Update, please. Update, please, is the soup stopped for a week and everyone thought it was over. Then this morning there were two bags. Soup's on. Soup's on, baby. Guess what, man? Soup's on. Fucking early bird special, bro. Guess what, dude? And yes, and I think I said this right before the break. Do you think that maybe it could be the Super Capra? See, now you are trying to tie in some of your extended lore. Yes. Our lore. Our lore.

Yes. And the thing is, there's other lore that is trying getting connected to this as well. Did you hear about the Southern Knoxville Jester? No. This is apparently also real. Okay. In Knoxville, they say it's a homeless man artist that dresses as a jester. Look at this shit. It's the Harlequin, the Knoxville Jester. Oh, okay, yeah. It is literally the Soup Joker.

Not so cool, man. Is this cool? I mean, it's wild. That's for sure. There's less rules than here. This is my thing. Seems like. I will say. It's a beautiful town if you've ever driven through it and not stopped like I have. I've seen Google pictures from space.

See, this jester is walking down the street. Again, this is not wild. That's just a man in a costume walking down the street. If he was doing something else, I'd actually know more about the Knoxville Jester side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. Maybe he loves the graphics clown bong. Remember him? Oh, yeah, I remember that. The graphics bong? Yes, but I think that there are some people trying to attach him to...

This jester. He would have been caught. Well, if he was slinging soup in that outfit, he would have been caught already. He's extremely doing this out in opening because what if this is the smoke screen? What if the jester stuff is the smoke screen and then he uses that as a way to hide from the fact he's like, but you see...

If I were to be the soup minister of this town, how could I possibly be the South Knoxville jester? See, the thing is, he might be controlling. The soup guy might work for the jester, but the jester needs a sidewalk. And there's no sidewalks where the soup's getting dropped in Pickens Gap. It's actually, you know, Eddie, I don't give you a lot of credit.

I don't even like you a lot. I hear you. But I think right now you might be on to something. Look at him. So he's just walking. Well, this guy is apparently as soon as I brought this up because they brought this up on the fraud stories episode with Sina. This came up. Someone had sent this into an email. But now I'm looking at this because I got a lot of defense of him. Yeah. He's a fun little freak. I mean, we don't know what he does.

Let's just be frank. Oh, for sure. We don't know what this guy does. As of right now, until someone tells me or shows me different, I like it. Good. Good. And I do like it, too. I like the idea of adding atmosphere. Remember the guy in Tallahassee who used to always run up and down the streets dressed as Superman? Yes, I do. He died of carbon dioxide poisoning.

That's not a super way to die. No, it's not. But this guy, whatever he is, he's neutral. That's right now. He starts at soup troll for me. When I look at a man who casually dresses as a jester for his whole life, and that's his thing, but besides that, that's all he does. Yeah.

Oh, actually, he'd be great. That could be the new tagline for Knoxville. From soup to nuts. Whoa, yeah, you got the two sides. Guys, South Knoxville, we're putting you on the map. I want to do a show there so bad. You hit us up, Knoxville. Let us know we're a good place for Henry and I to come perform. We'd love to do it. I'll do Side Stories Live, yeah. Free soup, too. And... I want to get a soup chef.

I'm waiting, though, until we catch the Soupgate guy. Yeah. And then what we do is public hanging. Public hanging? Public hanging. Or at least spanking. I've always been a fan of pulling pants down, spanking them in public. You know what I like? That's what a soup singer deserves. I completely agree. But you know what we do is? You set it up like a hangman's noose, right? Yes. So first- Well, you got to tie him down somehow. He gets tied. He comes up. We ring the bell. And you wear a big hooded-

hood with an axe. Oh, I would love an executioner's hood. Yes, and then everybody comes, everybody's watching. This will be how we close. We bring them out. Again, we're sort of busting this, though.

Well, I mean, he might want the... But if he walks up to the gallows, thinking he's about to hung, we're like, last words, you soup molester. And then he, you know, gives his speech, his final speech about whatever thing, about how soup needs to be free and like this idea about how he didn't do it. He's just doing the soups bidding, you know. Yes.

But then the rope falls. He falls too, thinks it's safe. Then we start spanking. Yeah, just his ass stays up. Yeah. Or it sticks into the ground. It falls down and his butt sticks underneath the fence. Well, the audience has to see. They get to spank him. Oh, the audience gets to spank. VIP package. Whoa!

Oh, we've been thinking about VIPs for the side story shows. We haven't done it yet. That's a great idea. You get to spank the soup slinger. You get to do it. Wow. Because, I mean, he's fucking up their town. Oh, this is justice for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is justice for Knoxville. This is about Pickens Gap and what's going on in the heart of Pickens Gap. Amen. Which is going to go solidly red in the election.

But we're still going to fight for you. We're going to fight for you. So that was a very great update. Yeah. We'll see. I'm hoping this guy comes around. We know what he drives. We're coming for you. The net is closing in. You soupstral. Woo damn. Have you ever felt the sense of unease when you leave your home? Wondering if everything will be safe while you're away? Go back to your home.

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Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, Squarespace.com slash left to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Also, big fun update. Big fun update. We had a couple of like more grisly stories, but I think that kind of got covered to death. But one of my favorite news stories is the fact that Casey Anthony is not only back. She's looking thick. She's looking good.

And she's also got a brand new dude, right? You're so attracted to Casey Anthony. Honestly, I'm more of a Jodi Arias man myself, but I think she's looking better now than she was. I think she's grown into a fine not-a-milf.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's not a MILF. She's absolutely for certain not a MILF. Or unless it's a murderer I'd like to fuck. Call me that. And I'm in there. But she is... She's gallivanting with a new man about town. She's got a boy. He's also from Tennessee. Oh, very much so. He was married with children when they met. He's still married. Oh, yeah. You know how she does with that. So she, I guess...

sucked him out of that family, threw his dick in balls, and then he moved to Tennessee, left his family out of South Florida, then sent an email to his wife saying, I gotta go where my heart's telling me, and that's Tennessee. And then guess who then moved to Tennessee? Casey Anthony. They met where? At the gym. Right? You can see they have a gym...

sex relationship, you could tell by the way she holds the water bottle. A lot of naughty things happen at the gym. Not to me. Certainly not to me. But to some. And so she was, she's going, she's walking with him, she busted up this marriage, he has left her, he has left his wife and kids to be with Casey Anthony. It's wild, but as soon as this news hit

the airwaves immediately the two other women that this man, her paramour, went and he is already messaging two other chicks on Hinge. And the other chick, first one found out from him, he said that he's divorced, which is a lie. He's not. And then second of all was that she sent a message saying, hey, did I just see you on the front cover of the New York Post with Casey Anthony? And his only response was, yep.

Yeah, and he was proud of it. Yeah, he's just like, yep. That's me. I'm popular. But he's still telling people he's single. Tyson Ray Rhodes. Oh, yeah. He looks like a Tyson. Yeah. He's got that thing where he's got... How do I say this? I know he's from Florida, but he has Tennessee face. Yes. Oh, yes. He's got that little chin. Yeah. Like, I have a little chin, but he's got a... I got a horrible little chin. But he's got a super little chin. Inside of the...

Courage to cover it up. He's got mouth cancer face. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely tiny head syndrome. He's got mouth. And so maybe that she likes that. Maybe there's something about that. But he's got a little, yeah, he's got a little top. Yeah. Wow. Look, he's got a weird ass face, right? Yeah. His neck's as wide as his head. He's one of those guys. And that's great because he's got a Blue Lives Matter shirt on and she's got a shirt that says, I need a hug.

Oh, it's a Margaritaville shirt? Nice. Of course it is. Yeah. Of course she has Margaritaville merch. She lives in Margaritaville, man. Yeah, she does. She's the queen of St. Lauderdale, man. Yeah. But Fort Lauderdale, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everybody. I thought you were calling it St. Lauderdale as like a compliment because I feel like that is nice. Fort Lauderdale is one of the great South Florida cities. I like Fort Lauderdale. Fort Lauderdale is wonderful. I was just sitting in St. Augustine. Yeah? How was that? Fine. Fine.

They could call it Fort Augustine because there's a big fort there. Absolutely. The oldest fort that still stands in America. First city in America. 11 and 0, that fort. I went and I walked around it. Yeah? Did you see the fountain?

The Fountain of Youth. No, I heard it was shit. You went to St. Augustine and you didn't go to the Fountain of Youth? They said it was garbage. What do you mean it's garbage? It's the Fountain of Youth. It barely even takes you back to 35. And I was just like, I don't need to go back. I need to go all the way back when I was best, when I was swell. First city in America, but do you know where the first Christmas was? Where? Tallahassee.

They landed in St. Augustine and by the time they walked to Tallahassee, it was Christmas. There you go. Facts. Tallahassee facts. Mission San Luis. It lives in the back of my brain. It's good. There it is. And now it's out.

All you Tallahassee people, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm supporting you and I'm bringing up your accomplishments. Choose my Tallahassee lassie down in LA. I like Tallahassee love. Oh yeah. Tallahassee love. Is that like California love? It's similar. Well, so that's why she's out there.

Apparently, reportedly friends of Casey Anthony said, oh, but he's married to Casey. Anthony's response was, ha, I'm just living my best life. Yeah, we know how she respects family. Oh, and she's been living her best life for a long time. She is. And his wife seemed lovely. I'm looking at her new boyfriend's wife. He does not look lovely. No, he is ugly. His wife is beautiful. He looks mean-ass.

Whoa, and he's bald too, dude. Oh, secret bald. He's crazy bald. Secret bald. I hate anything worse than a secret bald. Yeah, show it off. Show him. Show him you're bald. Yeah. Come on, buddy. I guess he does when he's making us with love. You never know. But, you know, maybe she'll get pregnant. Oh, you think so? Maybe this is the time she can finally settle down. I mean, she's got to have her tubes tied. I think she had her tubes knifed.

But to also bring it up, you know that Jodi Arias is also selling paintings. Oh, that's nice. I got into a whole deep dive of art by Jodi Arias dot com. She's selling paintings and she's selling like that was like I could I can't believe it. She's fully allowed to because I guess she's working with her family and she's giving some kickback. You're not allowed to make money off of the crime, but you're allowed to make money.

It's like a weird world. I'm not quite certain how they figured it out, because why couldn't John Wayne Gacy or David Berkowitz sell paintings and make money directly? I'm going to go ahead and say they were worse. Here we go. It says right here. On Arius's website, her family writes that the revenue from the artwork is used to purchase more supplies. 10% of it is donated to select nonprofit organizations.

Some of it will go towards Jody's appeals. Yes the Jody areas justice for Jody calm it ain't gonna happen No, it's not gonna happen Especially after I just re looked at all the pictures cuz then I wanted to look at her butthole again just because I was she was already there So I might as well just look at her butthole again And then I went to go look at it and I saw all the crime scene photos, too So it's like pretty butthole and then stabbed dude and then like her boobies and then stabbed dude that her butthole Is that on her page?

No, she hasn't done a painting of her butthole yet. But hey, maybe that wouldn't be something she could sell because it's part of the crime. You know, she's saying that she's not she hasn't been open to commissions for a while, but she will take some. I would pay some top money. And I feel like if we could put together a GoFundMe and I swear to God.

We'll get a GoFundMe. We'll get this painting. We'll commission her to get a painting of her butthole. Yeah. Self-portrait? Yes. A Belf portrait? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know about portrait. And we take that and sell the painting and give it to the children of Gaza. Oh, that's...

To make a steflon? I don't know if that's how it goes. Oh, thanks, Rob, for putting up that picture. That's her butthole, yeah. Yeah, there it is. God bless her. I don't like buttholes. I don't care who they are.

I don't know. It's not my thing. That one's different. No. No? Thanks, Rob. Thanks, Rob. Really good. I'm glad we got to see it. Honestly, I just feel calmed and heartened. Mm-hmm. So... Do you know in her bio she barely mentions the murder? She barely mentions why she's in jail. I don't know why. So this brings me back. So...

Looking at Jodi Arias' butthole makes me feel like a boy again. And there's one guy out there who's really trying his best to be a boy again, but it doesn't seem to be really working out. Oh, yes. This guy is, let's just say, how do you describe him? He's finally popular. In a way that he never asked for or wanted. I think he did ask and want for it.

Well, I think it's definitely a side product of fame. Yes. You know, is the attention. And yeah, sure, the money, the sex, the power, but the fame. It's one of the worst things. That's one of the worst parts of it. You know what I mean? But this guy found out the hard way. Now, this is a story about a... Now, this information came out over the last couple of months.

And it kind of just arrived to me, but I am now fully ensconced in this story. I'm deep, deep, balls deep in it. It's completely insane. It's horrible and fun. It's called, it's about this internet personality by the name of Smart Schoolboy 9. Now, if you look that up, you're going to immediately go, oh, cool, cool, cool, cool.

I have my long legs on. It's very long legs. He is very similar to the main titular character of Long Legs. He is a man that goes by the name of Smart Schoolboy 9. Amongst many other names. Yes. It's also Truth underscore Sticks underscore 11.

There's also several ones where he poses as a little girl. Now, this is an older man by the name of, he's 59 years old. We now know him as David Walter Alter. Please do not contact this man. He's extremely mentally ill and he's active on the internet. Yes, and the police are looking into him. Oh, very much so. Don't interfere with the investigation. The other accounts were at smarts. But if he starts slinging soup! Oh, hey! Oh, we got him! He's our fucking boy! If he starts slinging soup! I will destroy his fucking life!

All right. So the next one is at truth underscore six. And the third one is at girl Chloe 12. Now, this guy, this came about, somebody discovered a Redditor by the name of NumerousCut792. They said that they discovered these various Instagram accounts of what seems to be a very obvious person pretending to be a child. And then within those child accounts, first saying, you got to be careful.

Because he impersonates a child's voice. You better be careful of people pretending to be children online because they're always going to be predators trying to seduce your child. And then it turns out that he's that. Yeah.

And so this guy posted this. People were watching these accounts of these extremely strange, all the world leaf, like it started with a mother posting about her child, quote unquote, over on an account called truth underscore sticks underscore plays many characters. And he does. And so it starts as this and it starts as a woman talking about her child or gifted child and how she wants to let the world know to be careful of online predators and

And it starts with sort of infographics about online predation. And then it slowly turned into sort of ghostly pictures of a little boy in class with these sort of meandery writings at the bottom of it. I don't think ghostly little boy like accurately describes this image. Then it.

into an photograph, like an edited face where the little boy slowly becomes white skinned with big red lips, cartoonish blonde hair. Yeah. Eventually the little boy starts transmorting into that head starts getting put onto more and more suggestive body positions of children. Yes. So that was the first, that's like the first line of it.

We start noticing that the Redditor starts noticing and the people following this they start noticing that a thing of another other accounts are messaging this account and one was by the name of smart schoolboy 9 now that brings us a smart schoolboy 9 where this guy that is pretending to be this children is also pretending to be little girls like Chloe Stephanie and they're all commenting with each other to create this quote-unquote real group of friends on the internet and

He then reveals his face where he is a truly extremely frightening person.

Again, he is a big man, very large man, with a schoolboy outfit on, not rocking like Angus Young. No, no, no. It's not cool looking. Opposite, like opposite vibes. Yeah, but he does make music. He does. We'll get there. And so he does. He wears this tight-fitting outfit, the little boy's outfit. You notice he's got rubber bands on?

strapped around him and very disconcertingly. I couldn't tell what it was, but yeah, he's definitely got straps. I found a bunch of his archived stuff because everything got pulled down because of where it was all leading to, which is pictures, Photoshop pictures of his face on children's bodies with other children and they're all doing very suggestive photos.

fucked up stuff. Now, Natalie covered a lot of this on Someplace Underneath with the family exploitation series that she did about how there were families that were basically subtly monetizing their children in a sexual way by doing things like showing pictures of them on their account in their bathing suits or eating hot dogs or being sprayed with a hose. Your favorite stuff to do with kids, Anthony.

I mean, I will say those are fun activities as a child. When they're innocent. Yes. You know? But then, so he starts putting himself- My father sprayed me with a hose in the front yard naked one time. Yeah. But I was covered in ants. Yeah.

Where were your uncles? I covered his aunts. So, there is a documentary about this guy that tracks all of this. It's on the internet. I watched it. It's really good. It's really good. Yeah. But,

The thing is, is that it kind of brings up this interesting point where the cops are now sort of looking into it. But what has he actually done? What he has done, because this is actually what I asked Natalie, because I broke the whole case down to Natalie. Because I hate this guy. No, it's bad. Whatever it is,

It's bad. Public spanking for sure. He's talking to kids. He's talking, yeah, fake guillotine, public spanking. We're going to, he's next. Yeah. But I wanted to show, let's just like, this is the first clip I sent you, which is smart school boy night. This is just like a little, like a smattering of like what the content was like. So this is just one of his posts that he is singing a cute song that he wrote to himself as a child.

I think he's got the X Factor. If I was on the voice... You know, like as I turn around...

No! The thing he has done that should be illegal if it's not is he has contacted children and commented on their Instagram pages. We know that he seems to be escalating. So he has other accounts. So one of the accounts has been shown him taking pictures of children that are at a playground from afar. Yeah. And there are other things that he does. And then, you know, even worse is the music that he was making.

This is under lyricist David. Okay. What if it counts? You know what's funny? You know what I heard?

Marcus gave that an 8.9 on Discogs. So he... These guys... He's a British-based creep. But basically, it's the talking to children is bad. Number one, it's extremely bad. We've got to figure out what to do about that. Don't talk to children unless you're forced to by their parents. Yes, and then number two is the fact that he made child sex material. He made the CSAM, which is... Yes, it's not full penny, but...

But you still can't do Showtime level. Now, explain what you're talking about. So he created it with AI imagery. He used pictures of kids in semi-innocent, out-of-context pictures that then would look suggestive when you move them. So stuff like a child happening to be on all fours or a child's...

like this on a spread out on a bed. Nothing you wanted. Nothing that's good. No. And then he put his own hauntingly weird childlike face on it. Yeah. He is obsessed with rolling it back and becoming a child again. Now, for a while, people were like wondering if this is because we've we have covered this

We already ran into the diaper baby community this year. Yeah, but they're cool. We talked about the ABDL. But this is the thing is that the people like the ABDL are trying to come up with all of this shit. The ABDL groups are essentially being like, this is age play. Yeah, they're not hanging with children. No, it's the opposite. They're not online pretending to be children. They're just hanging in diapers and being treated like babies.

Doing their liberty. Yes. That's their liberty as an American citizen. They're allowed to do that. Right. As long as they keep it to themselves and everybody who wants to be doing that. Yeah. This guy, they're like, well, there's nothing wrong, honestly, with the age play of it. But the thing that is wrong is obviously the reaching out. And he is obviously he's starting to grow.

escalate. Yeah. And so the cops don't, I don't think they know quite what to do. This is, again, this is in London. So right now he was in Doncaster, South Yorkshire. And apparently due to the, due to this new attention, he's been chased out of town.

Oh, so he is now someplace else. He shot a video in a playground. Yes. During the day. Yes, he did. And he has another video of him chasing a child. Yes. Which we don't know if it's doctored or not, but it looks like it's him chasing a child. But what is interesting is that some there is a whole obviously now Reddit world researching this guy. Yeah. And one thing that came up was that they were going through these various old school Usenet groups and.

And in this town, so they would like basically looking for people talking about an oddly dressed man doing weird things around children. And they found at least 10 instances in this area, this man doing stuff like this for a, since the nineties and that he's been doing this since he's like in his thirties and that they've talked about the same thing. A man of white makeup in far too small of clothing and,

Acting super fucking weird, doing things in a sing song, childlike voice and dancing around. Now, again, it's if you're just like the Knoxville jesters allowed to exist because the Knoxville jester is an adult and pretending to be an being adult. He has yet to touch anybody. Yeah. And jesters are adults.

Sure. You know? Yeah. There's no wearing kids. I view them as ageless. I don't know if I... I'm not saying that like... Well, I say if we're going to go by ages, it's jester, clown, shithead.

Well, Jester's like, I have a job working for royalty. It's a career. Yeah. Jester's a career. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. But, uh, but, uh, Knoxville Jester does not have one. No, he seems like he doesn't have a career. No, man. He's free. He's fucking away from all this dude. Yeah. He did have to get enough money together to buy the outfit. I feel like that. I feel like at some point there might be somebody who's supplying that for him. Okay. Cause the last one, the last picture I saw of him, that outfit was pretty clean. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, so this guy is, they're chasing him everywhere. So I just want, I would love to know if you guys have any more information. Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. This story is fascinating to me. It's now kind of running through the whole internet, like this idea of adults pretending to be little kids. Thankfully, this guy is so fucking frightening, no one will buy it.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Because if you're watching any of this footage about him... He's 59. He's 59. He's extremely frightening. I'm just going to... I'm not going to sugarcoat it. He's a fucking freak on a goddamn leash. You know, I don't believe in public violence, but he's the kind of guy, if you saw him out and about, you'd be like, should I attack him? Well, you just know... I was like, I don't want to be anywhere near that guy. You know, that's what I know. But...

There's other things that are kind of attached to this. So it's like, yes, he talks to himself as other children, and then he talks to other children as himself. And so this guy is obviously, we're going to find out more, but it's not the only one who's doing it. Natalie brought to my attention a woman by the name of Britannia Razavi, who was on Rock of Love. Remember that show back in the day? Yeah. Now, she's become sort of like...

I'm going to use the very generous term manager for a series of OnlyFans models. Okay. And she is putting all these things on the internet. She's an OnlyFans like madam. Yes. Kind of. She's like helping them. She's like, she created sort of like a group of models and she is taking them and editing their faces to legitimately look like children's faces, to look like little baby's faces. But they have like big honking tits.

You know what I mean? They got big tits. They got big butts. You showed me these. I didn't see it looking like a child as much, but maybe I was just staring at the breasts. Yes. You were. You were.

And I, me as well, and I said this, but you see, these are the ones that got deleted. Oh, that's, yeah, that's bad. You see, the ones that got deleted are the ones that are really, so she went through and deleted some. Because, like, this is what we were saying. This is the one with the one, like, yeah, she got made one that looks like a six-year-old girl with braces with huge honking boobies. Okay. Which is. Yeah, that's, oh, and it's a poor editing job. Yes. This toddler with huge tits is not going to show up if you pay for this person.

Yes. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. Oh, this is upsetting. Yeah, Eddie. See? At first, I was like, I don't see it. Now, this picture is like... This is upsetting. And I just don't know... Hammer attack upsetting. Because I do believe that we're in a sexless age. We're in a distrustful age, which I do... But it's all sex.

but no one's doing it. So it's all outwardly sexual, but there's not quite a lot of intersexuality necessarily happening. There's lots of weird shit going on in the chat rooms and the internet, I'll tell you that much. That's what this is. And so I think that what we're seeing is a little bit of these, this is one of those maybe weird side effects of the loneliness thing. Like whatever, I mean, it's been going on forever, but the fact that they're actively like,

She obviously is changing these faces of these women to look like children because it has some positive effect on her business. This other guy obviously has no, there's no money coming in. No, he only had like 17 followers. For Smart Schoolboy 9. I mean, if he's smart, he could pivot.

Well, I mean... Look at Hawk Tua. Yeah. This Nick Crowley documentary has two and a half million views. That's the most viral he's ever been. Eight million views. I'm sorry. If he could Hawk Tua this, he could fucking make a fuck ton of money. Yeah. Yeah. Is she making money? I don't know. I think she's doing fine. Yeah, she's got a podcast. Really? And you know how hard that is to get. Hey.

You know how difficult that is to put together? She does seem like a decent human being, though. Yeah, she seems fine. She seems fine. Yeah, she's doing good. I'm just saying, he should take a thing off of hers. Because, like, who do we love most, right? I'm looking at him. Yes. He's frightening, frightening, frightening. Well, he doesn't have a catchphrase. My whole body is just saying, yeah, yeah. No, I think his catchphrase is, oh!

Oh, let me fuck ya. Oh, I'm a little boy. His catchphrase is, he's got to work on some of this material. Because some of this stuff is bad, dude. No, he's really rough. People are saying here, they've seen him every day. And Don Caster, this person said from 2003 to 2010, they saw him every day.

And then as him as his self. So he has lyricist David that's old him. Right. So he then will go. Not only is he going and talking to children, he's also then harassing adults. And it's all about feet. So he's really into high heeled boots. Yes. He loves these boots. I kind of love them.

The boots? They're cute and fun. Well, you know, they're very popular. He just kind of looks like... You don't have to worry about liking boots because you like them on adults. He likes... But he has... He sort of looks like a big perverted child like Yosemite Sam with the little feet. I mean, yeah. Big body. I mean, Yosemite Sam, I think, is giving him a little credit. But you know what he's got those little boots?

Yeah, he looks like a shaved bear. I just mean like he's got the little boots. Yeah, he's got the little boots. But then he focuses on feet and ankles on these other accounts. He puts the boots on images of children. He does, but then he also does stuff like this where they found an account from him on some another, this is a famous actress's page. He was talking to her about her role as a teen in a television series.

Good ankles. And whereas in So Awkward ankle socks or full-length socks for school were expected, it's just as cool to see your clearly good ankles in individual choice of shoes. My guess is that in the school-based series as successful as So Awkward became, you were at times annoyed that there weren't more options for shoes.

That was sadly Forrest Gump at the end there. I've got my magic shoes. Do you think he says that? He tells me anyway. You can tell a lot of us about our shoes.

But yeah, so he's the creep. Yeah. I'm not going to say attack on sight because we don't know. So I do think that he's going to be one of those guys that we are going to probably hear about again. I can pretty much... He's definitely a suspect in any crime in that area. Oh, very much so. I mean, he might be on my suicide squad, though.

Oh, you think so? I mean, I'm still recruiting because I got my tiny maniacs, which is full steam ahead. Yeah. Because I got a shipment of tiny little shoes in. I'm going to teach them how to tap. Are they heel boots? No. I wouldn't steal it from... I don't steal material. I'm a Carlos Mencia. I'm not going to do that. I am a Russian spy, though. Thanks, Russia.

Me and my best friend, Tim Pool, have been spending that money together doing our favorite things, buying stupid little hats. You and Natalie do kind of look like Boris and Natasha.

Give us money. Try to give us money, Russia. We won't take it. But, China, I'm looking at you. We're for sale. All right? I'd be fine with being bought by the Chinese. All right, so go and look out, smart schoolboy. Go and look him out. Go make him your friend. Europe United is a nonprofit that exists to close the opportunity divide and give young people access to the resources needed to get a job in the field they desire.

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And then afterwards, I thought I was saying something funny and nice. And then afterwards, everyone told me I'm frightening and I scared them and I'm isolating people. And it would be nice to have somebody I can just call and check. Like if I describe the taste of blood to a bunch of ladies wearing sandals at the coffee shop, am I going to get kicked out of here?

And that therapist can at least give me some form of advice. But they can't tell me what to do. Visit BetterHelp.com slash LastPod today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash LastPod. Also, I watched... Did I make you watch it? No. What? Because it happened right before the break and I made Sina watch it for no reason and we never talked about it. Oh, what was it? Did you ever get to watch the body cam footage of Chris Chan getting arrested? No. Man, oh man. So...

Chris Chan. Yeah. You know about Chris Chan now. Who is he again? She. Oh, sorry. Piece of fucking shit. I'm sorry, I didn't know. You fucking piece of fucking shit. Christine Chandler, otherwise known as Chris Chan, the creator of Sony Jew. He was arrested under suspicion. She was arrested. You fucked her up. She! How dare you fuck me up! You fucked yourself up! You started this with me! She fucked her mother until she whinnied like a horse.

Now, but again, that was alleged. And her dementia-ridden mother had dropped the charges. But there was a recording. Is she allowed to drop charges if she has dementia? Yeah, isn't that fun?

Isn't that nice? You know, they did a bit of a research in there. Now, Chris Chan was essentially given up by a troll to, you know, long story short, there's some story about how Chris Chan was put up to by this troll woman to talk about having sex with their mother. And then when it happened,

and they then went and described all of these things that she did to her mother and how she whinnied like a horse and how much she liked it about how they've been kissing and stuff like that. But now there's many people that are saying Chris Chan just did that to appease the troll because this is what Chris Chan does. Chris Chan's entire audience is trolls. Chris Chan is troll material. And that is like what they, that's the only way that they've ever lived. They've been a part of every single internet forum ever. Okay.

Like, I mean, since the old days, since PlayStation, before PlayStation Networks, it was like all on like GameCube networks. Oh, wow. Where it all started. Chris Chan has been a lol cow. That is a term for people that people make fun of on the internet. Okay. That is somebody that, she has been a lol cow since the very beginning of social media. Oh. So she is actually like a historical person in the world of...

of 4chan, 8chan, she would be on the Mount Rushmore. It's like her, Pepe the Frog. I want to see who else would be on that Mount Rushmore. Who else would be on that? 4chan and all that stuff. Yeah, of course. I'm lucky. Rob refuses to participate. I understand. You don't need to. But Chris Chan was arrested, and so one of my favorite body cam channels...

with us, put out the body cam footage of her getting arrested. And it's awesome because these cops roll up and they have no fucking clue what's going on. So when they roll up, they're told that this person might dangerous and might fight on the inside of this hotel room. They're inside of a hotel room. The cops are fucking ready to get there, like pumping themselves up. They,

open it to reveal, if you want to even just show some of him the clips of Chris Chan sitting this, right? So Chris Chan is in there and they're like, okay. And Chris Chan starts talking all this stuff about how they're like, are you alone in here? Chris Chan says...

well, you don't know that I'm alone. Like to you, I'm alone in here, but my husband is in here. He's invisible. They're like, great. And then she starts explaining about Sony Chu and all these various worlds that she, like, if you want to know a quick sum up of the lore of Chris Chan, just watch this arrest video because she downloads it onto the cops as they go. And then as Chris Chan is pulled out of the hotel room, people start going crazy.

Free Chris Chan! Like yelling. In the street? Yeah, because people constantly follow Chris Chan. Like in real life? Chris Chan has a constant monitoring by trolls at all times. So people are following them everywhere they go. And so...

The cops are like, what the fuck is going on here? Because they start to think that they're all going to get attacked. And Chris Chan's like, no, those are my fans. Those are my fans. I told you this was going to happen. And so fans, quote unquote fans, started surrounding the area just going like, free Chris Chan! Like she's Jason Momoa? Yeah. But the cops are laughing their asses off because they're like, what in the fuck is going on here? But it's very... It's sad.

Chris Jane is not going to have a good ending. Like, whatever the ending is going to be is not going to be good. But I know I'm here for it.

Well, yeah, obviously. You're very invested in all of this. I have watched 70 hours of the Chris Chan documentary. 70? Dude, the Chris Chan documentary. You should watch it. Who makes a 70-hour documentary? No, I'm not going to watch it. A real historian. No. Yeah. I want nothing to do with this. This is as far as my Chris Chan knowledge is going to go. It's by Gino Samuel, too. There is...

I am not even fucking with you. 70 hours? Dude. Yeah. How do you have time to do everything else? Hotel rooms. Hotel rooms? Is this what you do when we don't hang out? Yeah. You go watch Chris Chan videos? Hours. Hours? That or now I'm into remote viewing. I've been watching a lot. And then it's like my body cam, police interrogation. I'm watching a thing about Gerda Jeff. And then I'm watching all the Chris Chan stuff. And I just pound it in. Right now I'm not watching Chris Chan. It was more so last year. I listen to music.

That's what I do. No, I don't. I listen. I have a nice time. I put on like a live King Gizzard show or something. You gotta prep more. You gotta prep more. There is, I mean this, there's 85 parts to this documentary that Chris Chan, about this documentary. And it's the single most comprehensive story of a person's life on the internet that you'll ever see. And that's really why it's so compelling is that you're looking at...

Right now about 20 years of a person's life that almost every minute of it has been documented on the internet Lots of people look at this. Let me see how many people are on this how many views this is like a reddit, dude No, it's got millions of views each one's got one million each each video has got a million views of the 85 The arrest footage alone has 3.4 million. No, it's huge. Christian's huge on the internet proper, but it's

But the only audience that exists for Chris Chan is to troll her. You know what I mean? No one's watching Chris Chan as a necessarily, like, as a fan. Well, you are. Well, I'm not actively a troll, but I'm watching, I watch out of, which I think is probably the other good quarter of the people that watch, morbid curiosity. Do you have a Chris Chan shirt? They don't sell them. I was looking for Chris Chan merch.

They're controversial because of the incest allegations. Yes. And then also they've just done a lot of weird stuff. You know what I mean? But we don't even know if the allegations are true if it's all done by trolls. We don't know. That is the issue, yeah. Yeah. Completely. But you know when something tracks? Like, you know how like... Yeah. Like the JD Vance fucking a couch where it's just like, I don't care if it's real or not. Like, I believe it. Yeah. Just looking at him. No, that's fun. You know, but Chris Chan, it's kind of the same. Chris...

Chris Chan's not running for office. Not yet. Not yet. Honestly, I just don't know if Chris Chan can fill out that paperwork. Oh, no. Chris Chan's got, there's a melange of issues. Are they rich from how popular they are? Oh, no, Eddie. Oh, no, quite poor. That's too bad. Yeah, dude, no. You can't, little cows don't make money unless they flip it.

So you have to flip it into something else. She's trying to sell him milk? I mean, I think that would be a great idea. I think Hak Tua could have sold lube, right? But Hak Tua is trying to be classy. Hak Tua has a belief in Christ. Oh, okay. So Hak Tua is not going to be that, like, all up in this shit. Mm-hmm. Where Chris Chan...

Something like whatever smart schoolboy 9 has I feel like I've learned more about you than Chris Chan in this whole I'm an anthropologist

I'm an anthropologist. This is all I, this is my job. My job is to consume this content. You've made it your job. Don't act like you're a slave. What am I supposed to be doing? You're in charge. You want me to sit here and be talking about like, oh, the border. Yeah. No. That's stupid. That's not for this show. No, it's stupid. It's dumb. Everybody hates it. All right. Hey, it's stupid. It's boring.

We could have talked about how the Boeing astronauts are still stuck. They're stuck as fuck. But we're not going there. Do you think they've banged yet?

Apparently that question's been asked so many times by all the astronauts and they always say no. They're always like, no, no, no. And largely, truly, I think the main reason why I'm starting to think the reason why they haven't fucked in space is just because it's gross. Yeah. It's really gross. That's like one of those X-factor things that you don't know until you hear these guys talk about how like,

The inside of a space shuttle and a space station just smells like BO, farts, metal. Oh, yeah, you can't air that out. No, it is gross in there. I mean, they have an air filtration system. Of course. They do filter the air. I have one, too, but it only works so well. I stepped in the office today after you had a pretty thunderous fart. Well, there's no filter in there. No, but imagine on the ISS. That fart was old, too. I thought it'd be gone by whenever you got there. That fart was like...

30 minutes old. No, dude. It was as sticky as the memories of Gettysburg.

I remember just the same. I think, man, we did a full hour already. We're very close to it. We got to almost no stories. Yeah, I know, but these stories we got to are very intense. I cover very big stories, and I want you to go and watch the documentary about Smart Schoolboy Night. I think it's very interesting. It's very good. You should definitely check it out. I watched it today. I was blown away by it. At first, I was like, what am I watching? And then all of a sudden, you're like, what?

We gotta get him. Yeah, well, he can't. What do we get him for? I know that's the problem. It's the child sex material. That's what you get him for, is the making suggestive pictures of children. But he's not using real children. It's so cloudy. It's a very cloudy place because they have shown that child, like, B-S-A-M or whatever they call it, does not help pedophiles get

Like, not re-offend. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't work. Like, having them jerk off. The only thing that they can do as a pedophile is, like, not practice, which is just like, you know, like... Or get put on that island outside of Seattle, apparently. Of course, again. And then you can surf. If I was a pedophile, I would go to the government and say, take my dick and balls. Take them off of me. Get this off of me. You're about ready to do that anyway. No, I love having sex with my wife.

I'm saying if I was a pedophile, take my dick and balls. You don't know what you'd be thinking if you were a pedophile. I'm just saying. That's like saying if you were a dog, I'd go on more walks. You have no idea what you would be like. The fact that the government refuses to take the dick and balls.

the balls of every single pedophile, which I think they might need to do, is the same as them telling us we need to recycle and that we're the reason why the planet is failing. Because guess what, man? I do know I do recycle out of fucking love of Mother Gaia, but I know for a fact it's your shit that's the thing that's fucking up the face of the planet. So take my

balls and don't give me an option. Well, also, you don't recycle well. You don't wash it out or anything and take the wrappers off. I do some of it. You know, but you don't take the wrappers off or the caps, you know. It's just like they can't even do enough with it. What do you mean? Yeah, because all the little pieces of plastic get stuck in the gears. If you put it in a plastic bag, it's a whole mess. Recycling, no one does it right. You have to take the caps and the papers off? I learned it at Bonnaroo.

Yeah, you gotta do some work. You can't just take yogurt stained cup and throw it in there and be like, oh, they'll wash it. No, you gotta wash it. Isn't it nice to just throw a soda cap in the ocean and say, there's a little hat for Herman Crabbe? Is that wrong? I think it is wrong. Isn't that what they build their shells out of? No, they use shells. Yeah, they're supposed to use shells. But sometimes they have to use a soda cap bottle because it's the only thing presented to them. Henry. But in that way, it's good.

No, it's not. Because there was nothing there before. They should die over a soda cap. Why? What do you mean why? Keep it alive. Let it adapt. If it can adapt to the trash, well, that's kind of cool in a way. No, it's not. It's very sad. Or, if you don't make it sad... There's whirlpools of trash in the ocean. I'm not even starting. I don't know. I'm just saying.

Do you know the Grand Canyon killed seven people in six weeks? I love this thing. It's like, they send this very end. I love this headline for this article. It was like, Grand Canyon claims six lives. Seven bodies in six weeks. Yeah, seven bodies in six weeks. And it's like, that's how dangerous in America it is.

Our natural fucking, even that's going to kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grand Canyon, 15 deaths so far this year. And apparently the average is 17 a year. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're shooting high this year. Hey, man, let's go find out. I think we need to arrest the Grand Canyon. Arrest it. I want at least a menace. Always look for the closest person to the victim.

Never trust the giant hole. Hey, I learned that from who? Jody Arias. Now, let's get to some letters. I actually got several letters about how dangerous exo-execution is because I covered last week with C and I made him watch this video of a woman getting electrocuted so bad it made her head pop off. I didn't know that it could do that. And apparently, like,

Which I've now heard, if you work in the line, that's the hardest job in the world. I can imagine. The ones who work on power lines and shit. It's apparently one of the most dangerous jobs in the world and they don't really talk about it. Yeah, because not only are you...

playing with electricity or working with electricity, you can fall. Oh, yeah. And then, because I believe Mark Wahlberg was in a movie about working on the power lines. Was he? I think it was called The Line. He does all these stupid fucking... It's everything that's masculine. I can say this now. Deep Horizon. One time we went in to do a pitch to Mark Wahlberg's production company. And so we were like, so does he want to play a serial killer or something? And he's just like, they were like, no, he wants to play a hero. Do you guys cover heroes? And then I was like, no, no.

But, you know, like, maybe we could do a thing where he gains a bunch of weight and plays like David Berkowitz. And they were like, absolutely not. Mark Wahlberg's an American hero. Also, gaining weight wouldn't work for him because he gets up at 2 a.m. to work out. He's got to get prayed up. He gets up at 3.45 a.m. He prays. He goes. He lifts one dumbbell for three hours. Then he goes, gets prayed up again. He eats some egg whites, gets prayed up. He goes. He goes.

He reads his screenplays about being from Boston. Then he goes, he gets prayed up. He goes, he does some pull-ups. Then he fucking has court-mandated sex with his wife to try to create a child. And then he goes to sleep approximately every day at 5 p.m. Did he ever apologize to those Koreans he beat up for no reason? Nobody.

You know who's got two thumbs and attacked several different members of other races? This guy. That's you. You just said you did it. But that's if he did it. Yeah, yeah. But that wasn't even a Mark Wahlberg impression. That's a joke, but that's a joke from the movie. Yeah. I like Pain and Gain. That's a good one. It is pretty good. That's a good one. But the rest of them, I mean, they're pretty bad mostly. Yes.

He did the Boston Marathon bombing movie. I remember also that. Yeah. I'd go see him. I don't know why. You just like giving him money. I really do, and I wish I didn't. I should stop. Yeah. You should stop. I'd like to tell you a bit about a weird little story I have for my youth. This happened back in 2001 when I was 17 years old. I would often take my horse up to the national park behind my parents' property on my way home after school. We called it the bush in Australia.

It was a great way for an angsty teenager like myself to unwind and relax after a chaotic day of school. I always like to do it with a beer and cigarette. Anyway, it's pretty quiet and isolated up there, and as my horse Dusty and I were walking along, I heard something faint in the distance. I couldn't make it out at first, but as I got closer, it sounded like someone calling for help. The sound was coming from the general direction of a smaller track that led down towards an old lookout no one ever really went down.

As a cautious 17-year-old, I was unsure of what to do. But my sense of altruism was strong and I couldn't ignore someone calling for help, so I ventured down the path on my horse. My horse was normally a calm mare, but she was getting progressively agitated as we got closer to the voice. By this stage, I could hear clearer, and it sounded like a man saying, Hey, is anyone there? I need help. Long pause. Please help me. Long pause. Help! Can anyone hear me?

Then after a few minutes, it would repeat. After about five or so minutes writing down the sidetrack, we came to a smaller clearing where I could hear the voice loud and clear. I dismounted and took a few steps ahead and called out, Hello, are you okay? There was a long pause. And then the voice said, Help! Can anyone hear me? Chill immediately ran down my spine and I got that horrible, like, I don't feel human because anxiety sensation. Suddenly it occurred to me that there was no one there.

And what I was listening to was recording that kept looping every few minutes. I didn't stick around to find out what the hell was going on. I quickly jumped on Dusty and we got out of there. She was more than happy to hoof it home. Honestly, I don't know why or who would put a recording of someone calling out for help out deep in the bush. It honestly felt like some kind of lure, like someone was wanting to get a well-meaning person out there on their own. I did have a few other weird encounters with a man that lived at the edge of the national park.

And I've always expected it was he who had something to do with the recording of the voice. This guy would offer me lifts and then get aggressive when I'd say no. Walk around naked on his driveway like he was suntanning when I'd ride past. And he once walked down my driveway at 2 a.m. when I was getting back ready for a horse show, claiming he needed to help as his tire was flat. What 40-year-old man would need help from a teenage girl at 2 a.m.?

I think it was the guy. Yeah. My glass Ouija dad went to help him and when he came back, he said his tire was fine. Spooky. I felt like I came close to becoming abducted and locked in some sex dungeon by that creepy guy. Who knows? Don't sound good. No, certainly not. Never just follow a voice in the desert. Also, Dusty seems like the name of a boy horse. Yeah. Not a girl horse. Oh, Dusty Springfield.

Is that a lady? Yeah. Oh, I always think of Dusty Rhodes. The son of Preacher Man. Oh, okay. Yeah. White. Oh, there you go. Is that interesting? Yeah, sure. It just didn't sound like it. You know. That story was nice. It was. Yeah. It was nice. The voice of the bush. Voice in the bush. You know, that's what I say. You know, live every day knowing that...

There's two in a hand. There's one in the bush, if you're lucky. Right? You got to take those two in your hand. You got to fucking laugh all day long knowing, hey, I got two, you fucking stupid ass one-holding bush. Right? But then, the thing is about the bush is you don't know what's in there. Right? So...

You love the fact you're going to end up digging around that bush. And you're going to have nothing at all. There's a lesson in there. Somewhere in there, there's a lesson. There's a lesson in there. If you put your ear to a vagina, do you hear the ocean or the lake? Sometimes you just hear your wife complaining. Get your ear out of my vagina, you idiot. You idiot. Go to patreon.com slash podcast and live. You can watch us do this.

You can watch us do how good this was. You're going to love it. Go in on the social medias at LP on the left. Just go on those. Yeah. YouTube. All our shows from our Twitch, twitch.tv slash LPN TV are going onto our YouTube. Go and watch that. It's all on YouTube. Go look at it and go last podcast at left.com. Buy tickets. Eddie and I are going to be in Chicago this week.

Come and see us Friday. Two days. The Park West. We're going to be there. Come and see this show. We're going to have fun with it. There's lots of stories we didn't get to this week that will be in the show. We will be covering it. Yes. Yes. So we're very excited to be in Chi-Town.

I can't wait to be in the Windy City. Come on, you motherfuckers. Let's have a good time. We'll continue to be fat there, Eddie. Oh, my God. I'm so mad that I have to get blood work after Chicago. I know. I'm like, it's one of those. Next week, I just went to the doctor today. Like, all right, blood work next week. You're like, oh, can't we do it today? No, because you really don't. I'm about to fucking fill myself full of beef and pizza and like soup pizza, whatever they have. We just got to pace ourselves. No, my Lord.

Anyone who tries to give me Malort, it's not, I know what it is. We've been to Chicago enough. Yes. We're past the Malort stage. I've had Malort. I don't need to try it again. He knows. We know. We've all had it. It's gross. Yes. And we know you like it. Oh, um, James Earl Jones died. He didn't get to see another 9-11. I'm so sad for him that he never got to know Christian. Do you think he was thrown off a mountain and trampled by wildebeest? No!

What if that's how he died in 93? Yeah, that'd be incredible. That's the way to go, buddy. All right, hail Satan. Hail Drew. Keep up with the soup. Yeah, yeah. Come on, man. We need more updates. See you next week. Bye.

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