Side Stories: The Healthcare Killer
01:09:42 Share

Do you want to listen to Last Podcast on the Left without ads? Do you want extra content? Do you want to see what it's like behind the scenes? Patreon.com slash Last Podcast on the Left. There's no place to escape to. This is the Last Podcast on the Left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Yes!

What was Luigi Magnoni doing in the McDonald's? He was ruining his cholesterol count. Oh, you better be careful with that. Luigi. Luigi, why? Luigi, why? Tell me, Luigi. You told your mother you were going to be a priest.

Oh, Luigi, you got such a big eyebrow. You make the ladies faint. See, I think it was more like a... Oh, Luigi, you're such a good boy. Oh, thank you so much. Oh, Luigi, I always remember the day I had you. I had such a shattering orgasm that the doctor thought I was having a seizure.

I came when you were conceived and when you were born. Ah, Luigi. Ah.

Where's your green overalls, you mook? Yeah! Welcome to Side Stories. You're here with Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing? And I'm sitting here as far away from Henry without still being on camera. I like being next to you, though. It is nice. We spend a lot of time together. We really do. We really do. So, for those of you that don't know...

What happened? Has anything side stories-ish been in the news? There's been a lot of news. A lot of news. A lot of news. Did you know fucking Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are breaking up? Again? Yeah. Again? I just lost $30,000 in the Las Vegas market betting that they would make it. I can't believe it. And she's pregnant.

I just lost 60. Put a NuvaRing on it. Fuck me. I got to get off this fucking, I got to get, oh God, I got to, oh. Celebrity gambling. These bookies are everywhere. So for those of you that don't know, see, we were in New York City for this entire news story. Yes. We were in New York City doing, having a blast. We performed in Philly. Holy fucking shit. Was that show great? Wild show. Wild show.

We got some more coming up, by the way. Now's the perfect time to just plug them real quick. Classy Night Out, 1221, 8 p.m. Masonic Lodge, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. We got Jackie and Cara Clank, Holden McNeely, Amber Nelson, Blair Sochi, Sina Ghaznavi, and Logan Metz are going to be on that show. And also, Side Stories is coming to Dad's Garage.

Which is almost sold out. I can't wait. And this is going to be a fully improvised show. Not like all the rest of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're professionals at this. Yeah. Well, we won't even have a structure. No, I can't wait. Usually we have some sort of structure. They're going to tell us what the show is. That's pretty great. I'm pretty excited. So Dad's Garage, that's going to be on January 12th at 7 p.m. in Atlanta. So come check us out there. And more shows are coming. Yes. And while we were having a fantastic time...

A CEO of United Healthcare, a person by the name of Brian Thompson, was shot dead outside of a Hilton in Manhattan. We now know. The whole country went to flame. And when the story first broke, and I'm proud of us. He kind of looks like the bad guy from Incredibles all growing up, like the kid. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, he does. He does kind of. So when the news first hit that there was a shooter, this guy got shot, Brian Thompson. I think it was Tuesday. We recorded Side Stories Wednesday of last week. We decided to hold off and wait. We talked a little bit about it on Dan Soder's podcast. We kind of hemmed and hawed a little bit. But it was right before the whole story went. It was still developing. I almost didn't believe that it happened.

Oh, yes. At this point still. Well, because then we recorded the last podcast last week, and that was when the deny, depose, delay. That was, turns out, that the shooter had on the bullet casings carved in this would seem to be sort of like a manifesto. And that was when they found the bag of Monopoly money also supposedly left by the shooter. They had the smiling picture of him flirting with the person at Starbucks. I think he was at the hostel he was flirting with, which is also, again, just...

Let the penises take a fucking break, Luigi. He's excited. I know. No, of course. But we went through a whole, like, and so we waited. And I think it's good that we waited because now we know who the person is. Because we were all certain. Everybody I was talking to in New York City, everybody that was around me were all like, he's a professional assassin. He seemed like it. And he is going to work his way John Wick style.

through the healthcare industry. And then it just doesn't happen. He's a kid. A kid by the name of Luigi Mangione, 26 years young. He was found in a McDonald's in Altoona, Pennsylvania. And my God, does he have a body that just won't quit. Yeah, no, he definitely looks like a G.I. Joe. Luigi Mangione, he is the most important fuckboy of 2024. Yeah. He has done crazy. And those brows want to kiss each other. And I can roast him because he's a murderer.

Yes. I can roast him because I'm looking at him and it's like, not that Brian Thompson looked any better and I can roast him too. Yes, Brian Thompson is super fucking ugly. Yeah, this guy's beautiful. Now, it seems that the entire country flipped the ever-living fuck out because it seems that, Eddie, tell me if I'm wrong. A lot of people are angry.

with the healthcare industry. Oh, you know, I haven't heard about this. Isn't that weird? Because at first I was like, why would you be mad at the healthcare industry? Yeah, all they do is take care of you and make you feel better. Nothing. What I loved was how many times just this year I had to reapply to get my important medication, my medication that I'm...

enough to get. Oh, yeah. And how long it took to get and then how many times I've had to pay for something out of pocket just for the sake of not wanting to deal with it. And that's also just draining me. You know what I mean? It's just draining you. It really takes a lot out of you. I remember when my mom had her blood sugar machine taken from her.

because she didn't have $800. And then, you know, because it would go off when her blood sugar would drop. Did she think of just dying to sort of like do that, just kind of stop the... Because my thing is, I feel like the healthcare people got to get so sick of hearing from everybody. Yeah, I mean, well, the thing is, she did. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because her sugar dropped when she was asleep and her blood sugar monitor didn't go off because she didn't have it anymore and she didn't wake up.

Yeah. So you're saying that America killed your mother? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the thing is, and then you go and you think about this stuff, and then my father, a couple years later, he finds himself in a little trouble. He gets COVID. Yeah, he had me at bad COVID. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he died, and then we got a nice, I think we got a $30,000 deal.

dollar bill for his death. Oh, God. Honestly, I'm kind of angry that it wasn't more. Yeah, well, it was $2 million and they took care of a lot of it. Oh, wow. Oh, then why aren't you thanking them? Yeah, you're right. I should just thank them. We should have been at Brian Thompson's funeral. It was cheaper for him to die. Oh,

than it was for him to keep going. Now, there's a lot of people that are angry and it's because... Why? Why are people angry? This is the circle of life. People should just be fine with this. Of course. No, it's just choices that your father made to get COVID and to go to the hospital. He chose to go to the hospital. He could have died at home. He could have easily. It would have been free to die at home. Free. He could have died for free at home, Eddie. Yeah. Actually, no.

Because you would have had to have someone come and pick up his corpse and take it to... And you'd have to pay that guy. That's not covered. No, no. Definitely not. None of that would be covered. People are angry because people like Brian Thompson made a lot of money and they look at us humans walking around as a bunch of numbered coin-filled pigs. You could say that he...

helped contribute to hundreds of thousands of deaths. And Luigi Mangione, who is not, he's not perfect. No, I don't agree. He's a murderer. I do not agree with vigilante justice. He's a murderer. For the record. But, you know, you wonder, you know, maybe he was pushed to a limit.

I don't know, Eddie. Because it seems that it's shocking to both the media and the various other CEOs who went immediately into hiding that Brian Thompson would be shot because they didn't think that they would ever be treated like one of the numbered pigs that they look at

with no feeling from giant glass towers as we all walk around. Because guess what this shit comes for? Everybody. It comes for everybody. As soon as you, even if you have money, because we talked about this, why did Luigi Mangione do this? He has a manifesto. I read the manifesto. How was it?

Hilarious. I know he's a Ted Kaczynski fan. Well, I'm kind of sad because we didn't get a shout out. You'll be on one eventually, Henry. Come on. Come on, guys, please. Come on, guys. But yes, he is a Ted Kaczynski fan. He said that felt like it was very chilling, his final words and his Goodreads review he did of Ted Kaczynski's book.

Manifesto under his review of industrial society and its future. He I think it's really, really interesting. He says that oil barons haven't listened to any environmentalists, but they feared Ted Kaczynski. I think it's interesting that he went out there. He said, I do think he said that Kaczynski was a violent individual rightfully in prison because he maimed innocent people.

Yeah. And in the idea of moving his manifesto along, he did attack innocent people, people that were not a part of the system. And actually, in many ways, that's why Ted Kaczynski was wrong, is that he had a lot of ideas, but he did not want to do anything to really fix them besides kill people and maim things. And that's not actually it isn't actually helpful.

But what Luigi Mangione... At least he had the good grace to live in the woods. I mean, especially from apparently what his balls smelled like. He said he just smelled like fucking rotting milk 24-7. But hey, what are you going to do? Luigi Mangione is not a hero, but he is a reaction. And I think that we are seeing why people are extremely angry. And according to his manifesto, his mom was also put through the entire healthcare mill.

And he was put through the healthcare meal. He got a fucking horrible back surgery. He's living his life in constant pain. He's never come back from it. No one, there's no help. There's nobody to look out for. So he did reach a breaking point and it's,

I'm just actually surprised this is the first time. Yeah. And it'd be different if the company mourned Brian Thompson's death. They moved on. They did the meeting that hour. They did not care about his own death. They didn't even wait at all. They put up a fucking LinkedIn notice for his job 48 hours later as if some other fucking stupid felt-vested Brooks Brothers

brother's shirted motherfucker couldn't have just stepped in place. He's literally just... Someone did step in his place, so what's that guy feeling right now? He's wearing a bulletproof vest, that's for fucking certain, because these guys are... Because UnitedHealthcare is responsible. They said apparently they have the highest rate of...

Of not giving insurance money. It's like 30% of claims they've denied. They're united on not giving money. That's the only thing they're supposed to do. And right before, and I talked to you about the manifesto. I said his mom was run through the mill by healthcare. He was run through the mill by healthcare. And then you said... He's rich. He's rich. But guess what? It doesn't matter. No. Because they will come home.

For every single penny that you have because you are vulnerable, you are sick, and they got the fucking medicine pipes. And they have the control over it, and they hold it over you, and they got your head in a fucking bucket, and they don't...

care. They don't care whether you live or die. I have pumped thousands of dollars into GoFundMe campaigns because insurance companies will not cover people's cancer treatments. They won't do it. It's fucking insane. Or they don't have insurance because they can't afford it in the first place. One of the new CEOs. It's so crazy because why would they not pay out if it's already so fucking expensive? I pay

Top dollar for health insurance. And I still get fucked. Me too. All the time I get fucked. All the time I get fucked. Yeah, so you wonder why it happened. Everyone's so confused. Why would this happen? All the media pretending, the media that has been

lying to us and I'll put it this way too we were coming in like I was talking about with this Marcus this afternoon I think it's really interesting is that everyone was obsessed with this story for five days he got caught it's gone it's like they are they've stopped talking about it same thing with the fucking what's going on in Syria with the drones no one's talking about the fucking drones which we're gonna talk about soon we shouldn't be the news this shouldn't side stories shouldn't be where we're talking about this shit

It shouldn't be here. I mean, he did kill someone in the street. That is kind of our territory. Exactly. And that's why I'm thankful. And for that, I'm thankful. All I know is someone was shot in Williamsburg three nights later and they never found him or give a fuck. Where's that person's manhunt? They threw so much money at this manhunt. Everything. Across the nation. We watched it. We watched it in front of our eyes in New York City as we were sitting there. They had a phalanx.

There was, like, stop points. There were all this. And you're just, like... Didn't they just kill three people for, like, for skipping fare in Subway? Yeah. They just killed, like, three people. So...

You know, there's a world for them and there's a world for us. And weirdly, we're in your world too, guys. I thought we could be good enough at entertainment to go to the better world. All right? And we can't get there. All right? So it's fucked for everybody. If it's fucked for us, it's fucked for everybody. All right? So these guys...

And then I wonder, why did he get caught? He wanted to get caught. He definitely wanted to get caught. But I have a little theory about whether or not- But he was hiding. It was where he is interested. It's like he didn't know if he wanted to get caught or not. But now I'm putting thoughts in his head. Sure. Well, I will put this this way. I keep saying that he has fuckboy vibes, right? Yeah. He's a young guy. Yeah. Good looking guy. Valedictorian. A lot of people were.

But he's a good looking guy. He's obviously deeply plugged into social media. He's a young person. I think that he saw his own attention that he was receiving. And I think he really liked it. And I think that it was, obviously he wanted the attention. He wanted to do something like and have people read his manifesto and move on. Like, but it's,

I do think that that's where the faulty reasoning came in, is that he probably should have been long, long, long, long gone. But instead they found him in Altoona, Pennsylvania, like not that far. It's not even that far. No. So they... And then I think a lot of people are giving shit to the person that ratted him out, the person that saw his picture. Because number one...

I love everybody, and I loved all the funny little memes about him, but the memes helped him get caught. They absolutely helped him get caught. Oh, for sure. Because it blasted his picture everywhere, right? And then two, so it served a function. And then two people are now attacking, I believe it was a McDonald's employee that called him in. But even though that money, they were given, I think it was a $10,000 reward. It was up to $60,000. But I don't think they got the $60,000. They're not getting any of it because they didn't call Crimestoppers. They called the wrong line, so they're not getting any of the money.

They get none of it? They get none of it. Because... I was just talking to Sina about it upstairs. What they do is they lowball us. They lowball us. Right? Because that person that called in desperately needed that money. Yeah. That is the only reason why they would get involved. Who would call the police voluntarily and bring them to their job? Nobody. Nobody would really do... Unless it was like somebody that...

I'm not saying real criminal. He is a real criminal. He's a killer. How do you feel about the person who turned him in? I mean, personally. I don't feel bad for them. I know that they... They need money. They needed the money. They work at fucking McDonald's. They needed the money. They needed the money. The people have turned their fucking brother in for 60 grand. Yeah, so they got... And what's hard is to say to somebody like that, even that kind of money is not going to fix everything. No, 60 grand really isn't that much. It's fucked. I couldn't believe the number was that low.

I thought for sure that was like a $100,000 reward at the bare minimum. That's how little they think of us. Yeah. That's how little they think of us. This is like the guy who's top. You figure the guy at the top gets killed. There'd be a big reward. No. Nothing. I mean, his own people didn't care. His wife had to put out a statement when Brian Thompson's wife, they put out a statement saying he's a loving father. A lot of people come forward saying he's a nice guy. I know a lot of people are nice guys. Apparently,

Apparently Goebbels was hilarious. Yeah. So was Bill Cosby. It's hard. And I don't think he's in that level. I'm just saying that, yes, it's just he took the money and the goal for him to make his money when Brian Thompson- You don't think Goebbels is as funny as Bill Cosby? Is that what you're trying to say to me right now? I don't. Definitely not.

Bill Cosby is by far. Okay. Let's just say this outright. I'm saying this on the show. Bill Cosby is definitely funnier than Goebbels. It's not a question. Did Goebbels have even one special? No.

No, he didn't. I guess David Tell hasn't either, so. Well, he's had plenty of specials. I thought he's had no specials. He's had plenty. I thought he only had a half an hour. He never had a full hour. Oh, he's done lots. He's done crowd work specials. He had a couple on Comedy Central, I think. Well, then I take it back. David Tell's nothing like Gurbals. Also, I produced Bumping Mics. But that's like him and Jeff. Yeah. Yeah.

But, you know, it's a comedy special. I'm just saying. That the person next to you produced. I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm sorry I brought it up. It's nothing like Goebbels. I take it. I scratch it from the record. He's nowhere near. He's no. And Goebbels is nowhere near as funny as David Tell. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. I besmirch the good name of David Tell. Fly from your grave.

Don't know what to get your loved ones for the holiday season? How about the gift of sound? The gift of music? The gift of information? They can use it every day to learn, to be a better person, or just to feel better. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds will help them with just that. Featuring a 32-hour battery life. Are you kidding me? More than a day!

That's wild. Multi-point connectivity and active noise cancellation. Raycon's everyday earbuds are a must-have for any audio lover. Mine are wonderful. I'm bringing them on the road. These things have seen Australia, Iceland. They work awesome.

All the time, I can't tell you how in love I am with my Raycon Everyday Earbuds. And now, oh man, I got another pair. You believe that? I got green ones because that's my color, if you know what I mean. And the best part is, it's in a small, easy-to-gift holiday present. Are you looking? All right.

I can't wrap presents, all right? This is a nice, tight little box. It works perfectly when you're trying to wrap presents, even if you got monkey fingers like mine. Just remember, make Z-Biotics your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly, and you'll feel your best tomorrow, unlike all those other suckers.

Save big for the holidays and get up to 25% off site-wide at buyraycon.com slash last. That's right. You'll get up to 25% off everything on Raycon's website when you go to buyraycon.com slash last. Buyraycon.com slash last. Be good to your ear holes, baby. You only get two.

That's why it's like, I think a lot of people, obviously we have advertisers and there's going to be a lot of people saying like, and I don't think that murder is the solution. Never the solution. But,

At some point. I've never seen anyone get murdered and the world be so happy it happened. Because again. Since like Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. And you know why? And the reason why is because of the way they look at us. That's why. It's because just for one time, that CEO got treated like some other nameless person in the street.

that like they're used to, they live in a separate world. Yeah. They get the best healthcare in the world and they're fucking million. They get everything. They get everything. Dude got over $10 million before bonuses. And the way here and how we, how did he get that money?

By cutting as much as he possibly could. And when he cuts, it's not like, this isn't Frito-Lay. You know what I mean? This isn't like, oh, you know, which I do am mad about the fact that they're definitely putting less chips in the bags. Oh, yeah. We know this. We know this. It's shrinkflation. Don't even get me started. Oh, you want to hear me really go, right? But, you know, it's not that, all right? Every time they cut, people die.

So that's why it's very charged. So, I mean, this guy's going to get the book thrown at him. We're going to find out a lot more about him. What do you think his jail life's going to be like? Do you think he's going to be a hero? I think that eventually he'll just... They don't care, right? Nah, I don't know. He's going to be in a federal prison. Yeah, I think that he'll... It depends. He's a young guy. Or it's at State. It was a murder in New York. Yeah, he'll go to federal prison. He should be in Rikers.

I don't know. I actually don't know. They might have to protect him for a while. Who knows? But again, I think that he's also throwaway. Like, fuck Luigi. Fuck... Like, it's not even about it. It's about the moment in time and everyone's so... Everyone's wondering why this, like...

why everybody's so angry and why they feel so justified. And it's just because this one single issue, it unites every single one of us. Every person in America knows somebody who got very sick and couldn't afford their health care. Whether they helped them or they didn't, they know somebody. Or they had someone in their family, or it was a parent, or a child. And guess when they fuck you? When you're most...

Yeah. They know it and they smell it in the water like sharks. They know that you're fucked. That you have to pay. You have to pay. Honestly, I can't say on record enough that I don't condone this behavior. No. But I'm certainly very surprised it hasn't happened before.

before. Well, we'll see what happens. You know, I mean, we had one child. This is the second child assassin. Well, the first one wasn't an assassin because Trump never got shot. That is, I'm just saying that straight now. I'm not even going to fuck around with that anymore. Trump was never shot. It doesn't seem like it. No. So that was, uh, we made a big deal over that guy. And now we're also going to seem the media very much. So try to shatter any sort of belief that

in Luigi Mangione because unfortunately the internet requires you to have some form of moral purity even if you're an assassin so they're going to come after his like you know he'll probably have said the R word on a video somewhere and then everyone's not going to hear anymore. Is he going to get cancelled now? Is he going to get cancelled? That's literally all they're going to do but they're already like setting it all up because they're so used to. I love you with the murder someone and then like well we're going to have to cancel this guy. It's just

Unfortunately, that's how the internet works because they are not really grasping how fucking serious everything is. They're just not, they will yet, they cannot understand that we're joking ourselves to death. And this is from a comedian. Yeah. So it's hard. We have to figure out.

What's serious? What's not serious? What's funny about it? I think the funniest thing about Luigi Mangione is the fact that he could get his fucking eyebrows sculpted and probably should have the second because that was the only thing anybody recognized for him was his Groucho Marx fucking eyebrows. He definitely should have got some threading done. He was already in New York. There's eyebrow threading places everywhere. Yeah, I don't think he tried enough to disappear. Well, I think also the eyebrows, you know, some people really dig it.

Yeah, they do. They do. I'm not going to say again. That is the one thing on a sale. I cannot say against him. He is he is attractive. Now, one rumor I've been hearing a lot of conspiracy theory I've been hearing a lot is that it's not him. Sure. No, it's him. Because they released different pictures of guys in different jackets. I'm pretty sure they just had the wrong guy in one of those pictures. It's possible. I might. You want another big old conspiracy theory? Sure. Zebrowski.

is that they don't really want to talk about the way that they caught him. Because if we really understood how far they could see us from space, we would not feel good. Yeah. I think that if we knew that if there was... I mean, he was good for days. I think that they just didn't... I don't think... Like, how do you put this?

I think there's a kind of a period of time where like maybe he's going to turn himself in. You're talking to all these forensics experts. It seems to be a political hit. He might turn himself in. If we tell him we have all this information on him, he might show up. I think that it makes everybody look like they're feeling a part of the investigation, which I think helps the media and the police. I think that they maybe corroborated his location with a in-person sighting. But I do think that they don't want to broadcast the fact that they

kind of maybe knew where he was really quickly because maybe they can see us from space. And they are. And that the surveillance technology is so good that they literally have to pretend that it's not very good. So they let him get away with it for three days? No. They just... Followed him? Well, they had to make sure it was him. Yeah. But I think that they had to

They had a much more detailed idea. You don't think they were just picking up random dudes in the street that looked just like them and fucking taking their pants off and slapping their asses and putting their fingers in their butts? What levels are we? So there's the beat cop, the guys you're going to go send out to do all that shit, right? I saw some cops when I was walking around New York. I was like, you guys find them yet? They literally threw their hands up in the air like they could give a fuck. Yeah, of course not. What the fuck?

They literally are. If you're a beat cop in Newark, you got a lot going on. And just another dead guy. All right. Where it's like, then you got the higher level. You got the homicide section, which is kind of doing a little broad. And then you have the FBI. And once the FBI gets involved and then they got some kind of private contracting thing or like somebody else they talk to, they call up somebody from the military. You never, you don't know. You don't know what they have access to. Do you think he did like everything he could to not get caught? Or do you think he wanted to get caught?

I think my... I mean, Altoona is definitely a place you go where you don't want to be found. Yeah, absolutely. My full out-of-the-ass opinion... Yeah, we're just throwing our thoughts into his brain, so it doesn't matter. My is I think that he saw the thirst and he saw the attention and he lingered. I think that he saw how much everybody wanted to fuck him. Yeah. And there's just so hard... As a 26-year-old... But he's got a bad back.

He can't be fucking with that back. You're right. I take it back. You know, I think that he, I put the human layer I'll put in is that I think that he legitimately saw how popular he was and he wanted the credit. It's not far. No. He really didn't get that far. It's only like four hours away. That's why I also just kind of wonder if...

Yeah. If there's something happening there. So he had his ghost gun with him. He had 3D printed a gun. I mean, that's a good thing that's going to happen about this. They're going to fucking definitely crack down on ghost guns now. I mean, how difficult it is to get. They're never going to crack down. They're pretty much legal. They're literally never going to crack down on a gun anywhere ever. They will never crack down on anything. It wasn't until 2022 that they started making the kits where you had to like...

You can fucking fill out a... What is it called? When you buy a gun. Oh, when you register? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you get your gun license? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before, you could just buy one, but now you have to actually apply for one. Yes, but still, you can get all of the 3D printed gun parts online are extremely easy to get. We've seen there's now been several crimes, high-profile crimes that have used ghost guns. We know that you can also put them together using other pieces, and we've seen that

using pieces from non-3D printed guns. But he kept the gun, which my mind says he was planning to do something else. Should have just melted it. I don't know why he kept the gun, but I do think that there's a...

an issue here where he's a young man that saw the attention and he was excited about it and he didn't know what to do. He's not a professional assassin. He's just a young man that wanted to... He seemed like it. Well, he thought about it for a long time. Yeah. He thought about it for a long time and he probably tried. He seemed calm as fuck. He practiced probably with the gun a couple times. Yeah. Definitely a sociopath. I think that you'd put him in the sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. Are you a sociopath? Yes.

If you can feel those emotions. I don't know if you can. I think that sociopaths wouldn't feel the excitement of

I think I hate Brian Thompson as much as Luigi. I will say, I don't know Brian Thompson. So I will not say I hate that man, right? I think that that man thought that, as everyone does, they're the hero. Everyone's a hero of their own story. So in his own mind, he's got his wife and his kids and they go to fucking some private school and everybody's got all the time. He's taking care of all of his bullshit and he's a good guy and

He gives them, maybe he'll give them a Planned Parenthood every year, or maybe he goes and he'll buy like a wreath from a poor person every once in a while, and he says, you see, honey, I did good. You see what I did? Like, I'm certain that he's not, you know, running over dogs and beating the help and stuff. I'm certain that if you met his maid, she'd be like, he don't kill me. Yeah. You know, like, but I think that if you, Brian Thompson...

Just, you know, he was a part of an industry. He might as well have been in the weapons industry. Yes, exactly. And then I think that you just don't know what you're asking for.

with that because when you're a CEO it all falls on you yeah you're the face you're the face and it was a big face big head huge head yeah and it's really dude had like a fucking 40 pound head but yeah I'm not gonna I'm not gonna malign the man I'm not gonna malign the man because I don't know the man but I do know that I don't know but I fucking hate his ass because of his face and his job

I think anyone who's the CEO of a company like that can go fucking hell. Well, you're definitely making money on the pain of millions of human beings. I don't think he deserved to die, but maybe take his pants down and spank him in front of a bunch of people. I have been saying this for so long. I still feel like if we could bring out all the CEOs and politicians, if we could make them dress up like jesters and make them do it once a month,

where they all have to embarrass themselves and wallow around a bunch of paid shit. Pull out their tiny little dickies and just get slapped around a little bit. I'll tell you what, People United's a miracle. We'll stop murdering you guys if you just let us do that once a month. And we can all show up and everyone can pay a dollar. I can pay a dollar and I can go throw a water balloon filled with good pud into the face of a senator. Yes. Oh my God. God, how I would get so much out of that.

But, you know, this is now we'll see. I feel like, again, I don't know. I don't think anybody also really understands how bad the revolution will be for everybody in between. I think there's a lot of people online that are always like, oh, my God, leftist revolution. And it's like, but I don't think you understand that. Like after the first wave of the revolution, like that's when the mass executions happen. That's when all the kind of bad stuff happens. So I don't know if people are going to want a full on big one.

But it's just important for us all to remember the fight is not between us. It's between us and them. And they're going to do everything they can to make us fight each other. They're going to call us racist. They're going to call us stupid. They're going to do everything that they can to make sure that we're all fighting each other and not all fighting them. Exactly. Yep. And maybe a good example of that is what the fuck is going on with these drones? Oh!

Good segue. All right, so let's go look at this real quick. What do you mean real quick? This is the biggest alien news since I've been alive, and you're just going to blow right past it? Well, you know, it's funny because now I'm almost...

I'm almost at the it's past aliens point. Okay, so you don't think it's aliens. I don't know what the fuck it is. Drones the size of Buicks. I don't know what the fuck it is. That's not something, although it does sound like something a Jersey dude would make in his closet. Oh, yeah. Look at that right there. It's called the Santa Maria. That's it.

Nice. Right there. We're going to go up there. It's got a godfather horn on it. But I have a couple of interesting takes here. I asked the audience last week when we were doing our episodes, those of you that care, what the fuck is going on with these drones? Because New Jersey, now if you're looking at footage right now, we're looking from NBC4, the drone footage from New Jersey, I cannot state enough.

how many emails I've received with personal footage of the drones. I'm talking 25, at least, videos from New Jersey. Just from their own phones. Yes. Staten Island, I've got emails from. I've got emails from Ohio. I had emails from North Carolina, South Carolina, all showing the same, literal same, exact, different styles of drones. Because the

thing that is most curious about what's going on for those of you don't know there has been these wave of drone sightings seen over New Jersey over the US airfield in UK Lankenheath and all over the eastern seaboard and apparently some off the west coast as well but I didn't see photos of those and

The thing about these drones is that, yes, some of them do just look like drones. Drone-y. Drone-esque. The problem is that they're all different types. We've got orbs, circles, boomerangs. We've got things that look like mini planes, but the lights are wrong. Yeah. And the size is wrong. So they're super small mini planes. Yeah.

But I thought they have the right lights as far as like left and right. Well, they do, but then they'll have a bunch of weird middle lights and then a bunch of different colored lights that they don't normally use. Things with blue lights. A lot of things, similarly, just red lights. It's very, very strange. And while all of this is going on in New York, we're running around. The city is insane. The city's on fire, right? Well, it's Christmas season. It's also Christmas, so it's packed.

And it's just a very intense week, honestly. It was cool, but it was a very, very heavy week. Yeah. And everybody is just sort of not caring, right? So they have a bunch of people. The government keeps saying, don't worry about these drones. They're not doing anything. They're not doing anything. They're just up there. But I mean, I agree with that almost. Sure. Yes. But the footage I'm looking at, and I'm talking each one, the helicopters are following them.

F-16s are being scrambled. That's what Knapp always says. There's black helicopters whenever you see... He says those black helicopters might be UFOs. So, again, this is how far it's going. This is another... This senator, a guy, a New Jersey senator...

John Bramnick, again a Republican. Republicans are the only time Republicans jump into anything that I care about. Which is, he's been saying that the public must receive an explanation regarding these multiple sightings. The Governor Phil Murphy went as far as to say that the drone sightings are under investigation. They all keep saying they don't know what it is. And if you look at the footage...

They are physical. Yes. And I got some great opinions from the crowd. I want to get some great opinions from the show. So I want to go through some of these great little letters I got in response to why now. Also, thank you, everyone who wrote in. So many people wrote in. Keep them coming. Please send in the footage as you as you get it. You know, we fucking are horny for it. Yeah.

The drone story is way more than the news is sharing. Last year, a large amount of drones were over Langley Air Force Base in Virginia. A mass of drones literally flew into the base, flew around, and then straight up vanished. The base tried to keep it hushed up and went as far as telling families and military housing to not discuss the issue.

What was also hidden was the fact that the government acronym groups were brought into the base for an extended period of time. Since then, Langley has kept their lips sealed as far as any discussion with those below a certain rank. Lank and Heath has been insane with discussion, too. The base has a confessionals page on Facebook where everyone posts anonymously. One post was up about the drones in July, and since then, they've attempted to also quell the topic.

What is OSI?

Operation of Special Investigations. What's it? The Office of Special Investigations. Henry recently asked on Side Stories, Attack of the Drones, why the activity is happening now. My two senses is that this stuff happens more often than we think, but places tinfoil head on head.

The media wants to distract us from all the terrible stuff happening in the world right now. World War III, Israel, Palestine, Turks with Syria, and South Korea, Russia, and the like. None of it was on the news. Do we have South Korea also declare martial law for like six hours? Yeah, and... And all this with Syria. None of it was on the news. Well, Syria was all over the news. But guess what it was covered with?

All of the dumb shit that whatever fucking fat boy was saying. Yeah. New president was saying. And so fat boy was just talking and all they do is run every single fucking syllable that he says because they couldn't possibly give a fucking shit about any one of us. Well, guess what? Go out of this shit cell. This is very interesting. I think so, but I don't think many people care, man. I guess not. By the way, I spoke to my friend's father-in-law drunk at his wedding.

He revealed to me he was he's a retired aerospace engineer who worked on some top secret projects for the United States military. He cannot go into detail about the stuff he did, but he did say it had to do with weapons. I asked him what he thinks about all the UAP events going on. I found his answer very compelling. He said he believes that whatever the famous Tic Tac videos were, were human made and they are essentially essentially hyper secret weapons aircraft that

were basically unveiled to these pilots in particular to see how they would react in the moment, like a test. Not only to see how they would approach the aircraft and if they kept their cool in the air, but to see what happens when they land. Will they follow protocol and keep it a secret, or would they be able to handle seeing something they had no answer for? These would be need-to-know answers not only for our men, but how adversaries would react

would react as well. Once these encounters occur, the clock starts ticking. How long can the government keep a secret? Again, probably a good thing for them to know. We'll find out. I am now of the mind that some of this stuff...

is man-made technology. It has to be. It has to be. Some, it's too much. But it makes sense for that Tic Tac video. Like, I still believe, I will still believe the Tic Tac video is a UFO until I see other, like, information, right? I'm the opposite. There's no reason not to believe it's not a UFO. Why would you think it wasn't a UFO? I don't know. That's what they, technically, that's what they want me to think, right? That it is a UFO. Yeah. So, I wonder, right? I said, I wonder, but that,

hyper secret technology was displayed out in the middle of the ocean, right? Like when that, when the USS, when Indianapolis saw that they were dead in the middle of the Pacific on a training run, like they were no near civilization. So there's a lot of people that I've, I have heard and I've, I, I understand why you think that, that this could be secret technology that we're testing and,

But why the fuck would we be testing it in such a public aspect? We've never done this before. We've never done it like this across the Eastern seaboard and then act like it's nothing. It's like, no, with Roswell, they gave us an excuse, right? With other things, they tell you what it is. They just said when we showed the pictures of what we shot over Alaska and Canada the other week. And they acted like at first they didn't know what it was, but they still don't know what it is.

You just don't know what it was and they shot it down anyway. And it looked like something they couldn't recognize. But they shot it down. So why aren't they shooting this stuff down? Well, it's overpopulated areas. So I just don't understand. But yeah, that's double sure to shoot it down. Then definitely shoot it down. Well, because then it'll fall on the people. You can't shoot it down. What if it's going to be dropping bombs on the people? Well, then the bombs are still in the plane. But you've got to shoot the planes. You've still got to shoot the planes. Then it crashes and the bomb blows up. I don't know.

I'm just saying. I just don't really fully understand why they would test it out loud in front of that many human beings. It just doesn't seem to work like that. But this is a... Could be private. We don't know. This last little opinion, I think, is fascinating.

I'm an electrical engineer who was in college when drones were really taking off as a thing 10 years ago, so I've had a fascination with them ever since. My theory is that this is companies testing new ways to mass deploy offensive AI-powered drones, suicide drones. My rationale, the Russo-Ukrainian wars let frog offensive drone technology and anti-drone defenses.

Ukraine has begun using swarm of suicide drones to swarm targets. These drones cost $400 to $10,000 apiece if you bought them off Amazon, and they are destroying tanks that cost a million plus dollars, so it's an amazing tradeoff. But most commercial drones have a maximum range of five miles before any additional equipment is added. This makes it so these drone swarms are useless against Russian artillery, which is usually fired 15 miles from its target.

Artillery is the main thing Ukraine has had difficulty fighting against since you need to either hit it with your own artillery or with airstrikes. Ukraine has needed to ration its artillery shells, firing 2,000 a day compared to Russia firing 10,000 a day, and airstrikes can easily be countered if you know where they will target. So you either need to get the drones to start closer to the artillery or have longer flight range. The two easiest ways to do this would be to fly the drones closer to the target.

Drones usually need to take off like a helicopter or to be thrown like a toy plane. So they could be test dropping them from planes that get them to take off because you don't want to either have drone collisions that destroy half the swarm on launch. But again, this is happening in front of our cities. So I don't know if it works like that, but I like this concept of that's where maybe the private money is. It's like, can you show the U.S. military we can sneak up on you?

Can you show the police and the FBI that the drones can just out of nowhere? I mean, well, there's a very good chance, I feel like, that the drones are ours. That they are the military showing everyone else what we got. But then, so Alex or Coffee Guy?

Let's just say he's paranoid, right? Yeah. Love my beloved Spring Hill Jack coffee. There's a fucking reason why those beans are so fucking delicious. Reptilian in the morning. He is awake. My man is, his eyelids are peeled.

You don't see like he sees. We have been talking for days. I think there's staple gun to the back of his head. Whatever makes those beans good, I told him. You do whatever it takes. So, you know, last week I was talking about, oh, it's aliens. People don't want to notice. I just think this is, I think that there's something, something's going on.

Yeah. And we don't quite know what it is. I'm going to go ahead, which is what I always say, because I am a clinical, full-on, I am utterly agnostic. So I believe it's all things. I believe that there's very possibly to have, there's alien technology that looks like us. There's us that we've made stuff that look like alien technology, that we have figured out our own stuff, that we want people to think is UFOs, blah, blah, blah, right? All this shit. Yeah. Yeah.

But this is a, so we were coming back from Philly and he sent me this little story from Reddit from 13 years ago. And it's fascinating. Okay, let's hear it. For me. For the rest of you, you suck my fucking balls. It was April 2nd, 2007, around 9.30 p.m.

I was coming out of Orlando, Florida on the 408 West at about exit 12. I saw a red light reflecting off the buildings and thought it was funny because of how high up it was. I thought maybe it was some emergency lights. I saw between the two buildings this red pulsating light that was enveloped in what looked to be a plasma-like shield. My best way of describing it would be a red blood cell complete with plasma membrane. I had a funny thought pop in my head. So that's what you are.

when it turned to its left and came up very quickly upon me in my minivan, which I was driving alone. It proceeded to come about 20 to 30 feet in front of me and slightly above the van windshield.

It pulsated to deep red, and when the inner sphere would light up, the plasma outer clearest sphere would catch the light. The inner sphere reminded me of a front loader washing machine. It was not a solid glowing red sphere, but instead it appeared to be a red light liquid was washing around.

There was an inner yellow light liquid with some white in the very center. It was very bright inside, and this white light peeking through caused the red color to really light up, making it appear as if you were further away, that it was simply pulsating a red light. And as I'm watching this, I'm realizing the plasma around it is dematerializing. The center red pulsating ball of light started to spin from right to left and stretch, and it grew wings.

plane wings. It looked a lot like a drone plane, complete with a silvery finish and what looked like a cockpit. However, there was no tail end to speak of. The outer sphere was now completely gone and it was facing me as I was driving at a constant speed of 75 miles per hour. I had cruise control on.

Each wingtip, there was a light, one yellow and the other white, blinking on and off, back and forth. At the underbelly was the same red ball of liquid light, still blinking, but it seemed wobbly. The best way to describe it would be if you held a baton in the middle and made figure eights with your wrist. It would be that motion, which we were looking, I'm literally looking at some of these drone footage. Mm-hmm.

I remember looking back at one point to see if other cars were around me because I noticed the cars all in front of me had pretty much well taken off. My rearview mirror, I saw cars were also far behind me. I was alone.

Not moments later, after looking, a police cruiser with lights flashing, but no siren, came from my left and almost sideswiped my van, come between myself and the craft, this drone plane lookalike. The craft was directly above the hood of the police cruiser. The craft responded to this by veering off to the right. I watched as it grew, for a better lack of term, a spotlight.

and that I believe was behind the red light and as it had flown up to this brick building, it shined a light on a window on it. I tried to watch as it flew away and I kind of wanted to come back, but I lost sight of it. I'm just saying, when I saw that, now that's 13 years ago. Yeah. I'm looking at this mystery drone in Somerset, New Jersey that has the same fucking thing.

That that guy just described. Yes. That is fascinating to me because what if we're really fucked and we don't know jack dick about what's going on? I think it just makes it seem like to me that it is the government. Sure. It is us because why else would they be keeping it secret?

Because I don't think that if everyone knew it was aliens, I don't think it would be the big to-do like everyone thinks it is. See- Because they've told us there's aliens multiple times since COVID started, and no one gives a fuck. I'm back and forth. Only just because it's so hard to pin it down. I'm looking at this phenomenon. They want it to be ... It's happening in plain sight. They-

Spent so long ridiculing anybody that believes in this storyline. Yeah. Now they're leaning in. I trust them less now that they say that there's aliens. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I don't need to. They're hiding their own shit. True. But I don't need the government to fucking tell me it's OK for me to believe.

Right? I don't need that shit. I tell myself that it's okay for me to be fucking high and believe. Right? But the thing that's weird is why are all the drones different? In Denver, when that drone thing happened a couple years ago, all the drones were exactly the same. Why are all these drones different things? Why do they look like different shit? Why are they different sizes? Why are they doing different stuff? I don't know what purpose it serves to

to dangle this in front of us. I don't know. I guess that's my... Who benefits? There's no one that benefits. There has to be. If it's done on purpose...

If it's an action by a government, they believe. Then it's to show other governments not to fuck with us. But why? We don't need to show them don't fuck with us. We could fucking blow up the world. That's true. We are the most powerful. Yes. America doesn't. Guess what, Eddie? They shouldn't be fucking with us. Yeah. We could very much fuck up. Yeah. Not to mention our positioning.

Dude, we're so far from them. Yeah. They have no idea. That's why we shut the balloon down. That's why we shut the other thing down over Alaska is to show them that we can. Yeah. So why? We're not shooting these down. Why? And we have to know that they exist. Yes, they do. We're seeing it all over the place.

What's Buttigieg say about this shit? He said something about this new line of like he's doing, it's called compopery. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to spread it into construction sites. I mean, but he's the secretary of transportation. This should be his department, right? This should be his people. I'm going to write him an email right now. All right. Pete Buttigieg. We're going to put it right here. Pete Buttigieg. How do you even spell his? This is why he can't be president.

How do you spell his name? Buttigieg. Buttigieg. This is not going to work. Manifesto? Pete Buttigieg Manifesto? What's that? It's B-U-T-T-I-G-I-E-G. You really put the ass in Buttigieg. Buttigieg UFOs. Nothing, right? He doesn't give a fuck. You don't think he doesn't fucking look like one? He looks like a goddamn alien. He's got that big head.

No, he's been silent. Silent. Silence is deafening. Yes. Deafening. It's kind of funny how the people we love most are often the hardest to shop for. People say that, but I think I'm easy. But people say it's hard to, you know, what do you get for the guy who has every single graphic tee on the face of the planet?

I don't know. I don't even know anymore. But something like this could really work. You gotta make it personal with an Aura Digital Picture Frame. Named number one by Wirecutter, Aura Frames make it incredibly easy to share unlimited photos and videos directly from your phone to the frame. I kid you not, it is an amazing gift.

for friends and family that you haven't seen in a long time. You can preload it with photos. They can see, like, it's great. And then they can add their own stuff. It really is a good and easy way to share some memories. Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carvermat frames by using promo code LEFT at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com. Promo code LEFT. This deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.

There's a lot of people that want to put spiritual importance to on this story, but this idea that this is just the beginning, that we're going to be seeing a lot more UFO sightings. I saw one conspiracy theory saying that... What, God's an alien? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. We're aliens. And they're coming to take us back. It's like a nuclear crisis. The idea that maybe the drones are going to one conspiracy theory. I like this one. It was that this again, no real fact. This is a conspiracy theory that we're just talking about. That's my job. So the idea that they are moving nukes around to our allies.

So ostensibly, if we back out of NATO over the next four years, then we'd have to figure out how to get our nukes back if he wanted to use them, blah, blah, blah. Or there's something going on. And then the aliens are coming because we're moving the nukes and they have an eye on our nukes. Because they're scared of nukes. Because if we just start shooting nukes into space, they'd be fucked. I think that it's just more neutral. I think it's way more like they are...

whatever it is that makes this sort of reaction, it reacts to the nukes. And it's not even that they think about the nukes or think about us. It's just there's something about even the nuclear material or what we do that attracts...

this some form of foreign plasma right like that is just imitating us because there's that story too like what if it's barely even a thought like what if it forms and it looks like something that we recognize because it's just this sort of mimicking material that's around the planet earth that comes from the ocean yeah and that it's just been here

for a long time. And who knows? That's one thing. And there's also this thing that they're going to come and they're going to help facilitate a world change. And then there's going to be a new era of peace. And I think that that's when it starts getting religious.

You think so? That's what I mean in terms of... I said that sounds nice. I think that anything that's biological that's going to get here is not good news for us. And so I don't think... Also, we all... I think the new era is not going to include us. I mean, well, you know, if you go all the way back to, you know, Christ, if you believe in that, you know, as soon as someone starts saying we should all be nice to each other and be peaceful, we'll just kill them. Well, maybe what they understood...

Because very, very deep down, we are all connected.

some weird neural network that doesn't need to have God to exist. It doesn't even have anything that it's literally we are made of the same stuff. We are connected on a much deeper level. And maybe one day science will show that and that it does hurt us when we hurt ourselves and that it hurts us as a group and that we maybe could move together as one and not think about it as the NWO, that we could understand that we're all just people.

Or is that just fucking dumb shit? Yeah. Well, also, alien invasion, people say, is the only thing that could bring the world together. That's what Project Bluebeam says, that they're going to create NWO by doing a fake alien invasion. That's the other thing people are talking about. Is it all fake? Because I did get some footage that was just straight up drones. If it was fake, then the government would be talking about it more. I don't know.

This is why it's confusing, Eddie. That's why. It's because their reaction. They're not saying like, oh, we know exactly what it is. It's just silence. Yeah. It is just total fucking silence. And then we're all just supposed to sit here and act like it's not happening. But then also, I mean, we say it's total silence, but then you got the New Jersey senator who

is wanting to know what it is. Yeah, in between slurping down pork rolls and fucking his mistress, he doesn't fucking really care. I mean, like, these guys, senators, don't fucking give a shit. At least he's asking, man. Yeah, he just got an email that was like, you know what I mean? Like, these senators are garbage. All these fucking pieces of shit. So how are you going to believe anything, then? I don't. I believe these papers. I believe in the American people.

To fuck shit up. Because they have been. They really have been. But I believe in humanity. And I believe that there's some kind of lesson, it seems to be here, that we don't know quite what the beginnings of is or what the actual lesson is. And I think that it's going to be a little bit.

Before we figure that out. Yeah. So right now, it's just innocuous activity that has not hurt anything in airspace. That's mostly what they're kind of saying. They're waiting for it to fuck up a plane for they'll do anything about it.

That's like one of the big excuses. But if I was flying a plane over there, they would shoot me down. Dude, you hear about the story about the, one of the stories I got sent this week was about a sovereign citizen that crashed his own plane but almost murdered a commercial flight because he took off in a plane without telling anybody. Yeah, you gotta tell people if you're gonna take off in a plane. There are rules. Some rules.

rules are there for a reason. And there's not a lot of them. Not social rules. Like, not a lot of these rules, but when it comes to the flight...

In the sky with other machines. That's not about liberty. We need to know. We got to know, buddy. It's not impinging, man. You know, like, of all of the stuff, let's talk about that, buddy. In the sky, you're not traveling. If you're flying that real, you must have a license. Yes. That's why there's no flying cars. But look at that. So that guy, exactly. Except we're about to get flying drones for the 2028.

LA Olympics. Well, I mean, those are... You're supposed to get taxi drones. Taxi drones? Yeah. That's a really bad idea. But the drivers in LA are so great on the ground. Yeah. They're definitely going to do great in a 4D space. I feel like every other month, someone I like...

kind of know gets hit by a car in LA. It's just fucking crazy. There's no way. I love Gavork. He's my favorite Uber driver and I can't wait to see him in a B-52. We're going to have so much fun. Yeah, you can smoke. Tell them you can smoke. The best part about these Uber drivers flying the taxis is that they can smoke. Yeah. Because you can open the window. Oh, yes. Oh, I mean, Gabby, if you can smoke, I'm for the flying the drone taxis. That's all. All

All Uber drivers want to do is be able to smoke in the car. Get stoned and shit up there? That'd be fucking wonderful. No, dude. I'm talking cigarettes, man. Oh, you want to go backwards. I was just saying. I feel like whatever relaxes them. You want to go forward so we can go backwards. Let Gvork smoke his Bulgarian cigarettes. No, he has to smoke American cigarettes. You're right. If he's going to smoke cigarettes, he's going to smoke our cigarettes. Thank you, Eddie. Yes. That's right. Give back.

Well, today was filled with a lot of emotions, wasn't it? Too many emotions for side stories? I got one thing I just want us to keep our eye on, and I don't know much about it. It just happened real quick before we go. This story is fucking not serious. This story is fucking insane, and I don't get it. It's very serious. And I feel like no one's talking about it. I think I want to talk about it more next week, but here's a little teaser. Apparently, yesterday or two days ago from when you hear this, there was a giant...

Gang massacre in Haiti. If you don't know, Haiti is completely run by gangs now. Oh, it's not doing great? The government doesn't matter anymore. Yeah. There is a government, technically, and they say they are going to go after the gangs because of what happened. But in short, one of the gang's leaders, their son got really sick and

And someone told them that it was a voodoo curse. And so and that the elderly were responsible are the people who practice the voodoo. And so he went to a slum and killed 180 residents over 60 years old.

You know what that's called? And he dragged them all in the street and shot them and stabbed them and killed them. I'm not happy with this guy. I'm not happy with him. I don't think it was the right choice, but he got stuff done. He probably did more for that. I mean, think about how hard it is to pass a law in America. Yeah.

You know how hard it would be for Joe Biden to murder 60 voodoo preachers in a town like without a... You need a warrant and stuff, which takes like 12 hours. The gang rounded up scores of residents over 60 from their homes in the Wharf Germain area and shot or stabbed them to death with knives and machetes.

Witnesses reported that mutilated bodies were burned in the streets. The death toll could rise. The UN Human Rights Chief Volkner Turk, which is, I mean, a scary name. It is. It's cool. In a way, though, it's kind of funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it at 184 people estimate, the number of people killed in gang violence this year in Haiti is over 5,000.

Jeez, Lou. So Haiti is- It is a small country. It is a very small country. The gangs have completely taken over and they had a mass execution of the elderly this week. And they're saying that the gangs control everything and are taking everyone's cell phones away so the residents aren't able to spread information about this attack. So we really don't know anything yet. This-

We will get deeper into the story. It is a fucking insane story. It is just, that is intense. Yeah. Because I'm surprised. Because I guess, like, I'd actually want to know more about that side story. Tell POTL at gmail.com. Anyone knows anything, please. And the state of voodoo in Haiti, it also must be, that is interesting. Because I thought it was really a popular, like, folk.

It's obviously not real. Well, unless you believe it. Unless you're getting murdered by a Haitian gang leader over it, then it's pretty fucking real. Yeah. Also, I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anywhere that the child actually died.

The child's just sick. Well, that's the thing. I mean, for me... That's crazy. When I have a cold, I might as well be dead. Oh, the kid died? Oh, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Good? No! No! Not a child! No, it's not good. I'm not saying it's good. Also, in just as important news...

Apparently, according to our favorite Gypsy Rose, with her former husband, the D is in fact not fire. Even though she said in a sworn statement that her ex-husband's D was fire. I'm on a high right now. I'm living my best life and y'all can't take that from me. And the D is fire. Yeah.

Yes. So unfortunately, no. And I actually don't know why she would say that because I'm looking at Ryan Scott Anderson now. And yes, he does look like Winnie the Pooh. But you don't think that Winnie the Pooh knows how to fuck? It looks like if you cracked him open, Brian Thompson would come out. You see, we always come back to humor. We'll always come back to humor.

Oh, wow. What a day. So next week, don't worry, we're almost at Christmas. I feel like that's also part of the reason why I'm feeling extra edgy. But I'm happier this year than I've been in years. Two weeks away. I'm fucking stressed. It's a fucking hard holiday season. I think that we gotta be... I know people talk about this, but we gotta be good to each other during this time period. You gotta live every day knowing for a fact that yeah,

Sometimes grandma, she's a fucking bitch. Amen. But hey, you know, it's Christmas time. Everybody just shut up about it for a little bit. You can laugh about it with your grandmother. You know what I mean? She's got some fucking bad things to say. She's got some bad thoughts in her brain. But you know, fucking put Sebastian Maniscalco on. Yeah. And smoke weed. Dude. Get your grandmother an edible. Go for that walk, man. Help out. Take the dog for a walk. Go get stoned. Some people get pet.

Paranoid, Eddie, but for those of you, but if you get paranoid and you're not into it, I totally get it. It's entertainment for everyone else. Fucking make yourself come in your asshole. Yeah. Like, honestly, I want to say this. When's the last time you shot one in the air, then threw it on your pants and caught it with your hole?

It's hard. You come. You jerk and jerk and jerk. We were just in New York. And you come in the air real far and then you take off your pants and you lay down on your belly and you try to catch it with your asshole. Yeah, it's called the Bellagio. Yeah, I was just in New York. So yes. Very recently. But if you ask my wife, she would say yes, the D is fire. Because oh man, oh man. When I catch that cum in my asshole...

She's the happiest she's ever going to be that week. She comes to your ass? No, when I do it for her. When I do the Bellagio in front of her. It's a great trick. That's how I got her. Just because I'm fucking sexy. That's not just why she's with me. I'm funny. I'm entertaining.

I said some stuff today, right? I don't even remember what I said today. I feel like I blacked out in rage. Well, that's the thing. I promise we're going to get back to the jokes next week. I feel like we were still vaguely funny. Yeah, I know. Big stories. It's big stories and we got to talk about them. You know, it's hard because it's like the information is very important.

But we're also, you shouldn't be getting info from us. Well, you know what? I think whatever you heard today, let this spark your interest and go out and learn a lot more from credible news sources. Who? That's my only thing, though. The Guardian. I trust The Guardian. I trust The Guardian. I read The Guardian. Yeah. Yeah. I read The Guardian. Al Jazeera, honestly, is pretty good from the outside. Do you know who I trust? I hate them, but you know who I trust? Who? TMZ.

TMZ knows what's happening the fastest. They have connect. We've talked about this. I do hate them. Oh, yeah. I don't think I don't because they're classless. They break stories faster than anybody else. Oh, my God. If you hear a rumor that someone's dead, it's like, oh, Prince is dead. It's on TMZ. He's there first.

But we'll do some listener emails tomorrow. Next week, we're going to get really silly right before the holiday. I do believe we're going to do a little, we might do a little something extra for the holiday. I think it'll be fun. Yes. Go see us. Go watch the stream. The stream, I promise you.

It's going to be a laugh a minute. What? The last stream on the left? The last stream on the left. Go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. Also, check this out. I'm wearing my, for today, I'm wearing my last podcast on the left, Alien shirt. That's awesome. Yeah, go pick yours up. There's lots of good merch available. Get your orders in soon if you want them for Christmas. We're getting flooded right now, so if you want your shit for the holidays, make sure you put your order in today. Show people that you...

are cool with the podcast community. Also, I've got to say, might be a merch drop on eddytoons.com this week. Might be. I saw some of those. I tried to put in some feedback. We took your note. Well, we took your note. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. I really appreciate that. And yeah, if you want, you go check out Luigi Mangione's, I think his manifesto will be on the internet for a little while longer. And if you want, or anything else you should check out, you should probably give...

your fucking mother a call or something? I think if you have one, you should probably give her a call and you should probably...

This might be a good time for us all to have a very peaceful Christmas season. Yeah, man. I saw that fucking Emilia Perez movie. What was that? What is that? Everyone's loving it. It was garbage. Zoe Saldana. Yeah, Zoe Saldana musical. Netflix. Netflix. It is. You were all saying things. I don't know who Zoe Saldana is. You know who Zoe Saldana is. Who she is. She's the hot. Who she is. She's Columbiana. Which one? Remember the movie Columbiana? Nope. She was the hot fucking assassin.

Nope. She's the most popular actress in the world. Avatar. Yes. Yeah, I know that blue woman. Yes. She's been in the most popular movie in history. Oh, yeah, Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, she's very good. Yes. She's very beautiful. Yes. Movie's not good, though, that she's in now. It is bad. It is bad. I love Sully South Island. That's why I went and saw it. You know, I literally, I was at the IFC Center in New York, and I literally walked out like 40 minutes in. I was like, listen, this movie fucking sucks. Yeah.

can I go see Carrie? Because Carrie was playing. And then he's like, all right. Yeah, you're the fifth guy here. No, he literally was like, you can tell people have been bitching about this movie. He was just like, yeah, we do know. Are we doing ads for Gladiator 2?

I don't think so. Because I fucking walked out of that movie. That movie sucked. We both walked out of a movie this weekend in New York. Yes, man. But you know what? I didn't walk out of one. Denzel Washington's great, though. Yeah. Yeah, he's fine. Yeah, I didn't see it, but I'm not going to, though. Go see Enora. Enora was wonderful. Everyone's saying Enora's supposed to be great. It's unbelievable. Sean Baker movies are always great, but Enora was perfect. Go see Enora. If you see anything, it's holiday season. I also got my Christmas Day Nosferatu ticket.

Oh, yeah. I'm going on the 27th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's talking fucking hot ass shit about this movie. It looks fucking awesome. I can't wait to see this movie. He's looking good. You see Stellan Skarsgård kiss his son in the mouth. He was so happy. Oh, he pulled a Brady. Tom Brady.

The other goat. Tom Brady loves kissing his family on the mouth. He really does. It's weird, right? That's why he, you know, he unretired. You know, what's he going to do? Stay home and play spin the bottle with his kids all day? Ha ha! Gotcha, you fuck! Ha ha! Fuck you, Tom Brady! Ha ha ha ha! You big-headed motherfucker! Please don't send the Starwhackers after me! Ha ha ha ha! Wow, what a great episode. Ha ha ha!

Hail Satan, everyone. Oh, yeah. Go to all the other stuff. LastPodcast.com. Buy live tickets. We're going to be doing a lot of different shows. Our live show is better than ever. Go check it out. Yeah. And Twitch.tv slash LPNTV. And Good Podcast is new. And the new episode's all about Japan. Ooh. Oh, my God. Did you see? We got the numbers back. Brighter Side went up over 100%. You're doing very well.

Go listen to Brighter Side. We're fucking crushing it right now. We're doing very well. Come on with it, folks. I love you guys. We'll see you next week. Hail my mom. Hail my dad. Yeah. I'm sorry that America killed them. Yes. But I'm going to confess here, unfortunately, Eddie, it was me. Oh, shoot! But hey, you're funnier as an orphan. I am the biggest orphan in the world.

So many options for toilet paper. Quintuple ply? This roll is titanium enforced. This one is made from elderly trees. Is that good? Just grab Angel Soft. It's simple, soft, and strong. And for any budget. Angel Soft. Soft and strong. Simple.