The Gud Pud PUDcast: Episode 2 - Rising Fascism
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Yes. In the streets of America, Nazis run free. And only the artists behind good hood can stop them. You're giving real Roosevelt vibes right now. Oh, you want to hear some Roosevelt vibes? Yeah, please. Yeah.

How did I know? How did I know? Yeah, I'm scared of it. I'm scared of the rise in fascism. But when you sing about it, it actually makes things a lot easier to digest. Like in Cabaret when all the Nazis came and killed everybody at the end? Life is a cabaret, old son. We don't have the rights.

Welcome to Good Puckist. Hot puds and even hotter conversations. I'm scared of you today. Why? I think it's the sunglasses. What's wrong with the sunglasses? I think that it gives you like an air of like, oh, you're going to cut off my arms and beat me with them, but then also jerk off while you're doing it. That's a great idea.

I'm wearing an outfit today that is, again, I'm trying to, we here at Good Pud, we got back into the podcast game because we wanted to connect with the youth. We heard your cries, all of you under 20-somethings that are always listening to us. And you all sound like this. Eee!

And that's how we know that you're young. Because you sound young. Because you say that you're young. And we suck your voice out like, I'm the Ursula now, dog. She is the Ursula. But what we wanted to do, again, connect with the youth. I'm Henry Zebrowski. This is Jackie Zebrowski. Hello, Jackie Zebrowski. Good, good guest. I knew that if we were going to message about the dangers of rising fascism in this country, that unless I look like one of you,

There was no way you would believe me. It's why they wear suits. It's why the president's got to wear pants everywhere he goes. It's got to be annoying, though, because if I were the president, I'd probably make a law that says pants are illegal. Makes it sound like you'd create a world of sexual assault.

It would be unfortunate for the people of America. That's what you're trying to do. But that's why it's like, as you see today, I'm dressing in the guise of the youth, somebody who knows video games, anime. Did you show them your armpit hair? What do you mean? No, no, it's wispy. It is wispy. Yeah, I don't have thick armpit hair. The reason why I wore, again, I wore this whole outfit is that you know I'm young, you know I'm safe.

You know I'm approachable. Like, you know that if I'm the kind of guy that at the Magic the Gathering meetups, like, I'm the guy that's bringing apple slices and the Thorazine. I'm the guy that's going to go and give you your IV drip. I'm the guy that's going to call your grandmother to come pick you up because you got, like, you lost your car in a swamp or something. We all know that's an excuse. Which is always happening at those Magic the Gatherings.

I know how it is, but it's just like that's why I'm like this today, just so that people that are watching this can feel at ease. Are you worried? Like, I can't believe Natalie actually allowed you to leave the house dress like this because like I'm sure women are throwing themselves at you in the street. Natalie actually said that if I have this hat on, I'm not allowed to touch her.

That's what she said. She says that I can't enter into the bedroom space while in this outfit. I do. I understand that. I feel that's what makes me safe to kids. Is that the fact that I am not. If you came up to my not alive child, I would be like, excuse me. You're talking about your boardie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep it in my purse. And I say, you keep that man's way from my boardie. That's my boardie. Not without my boardie.

Just like the Sally Field movie. Not without my body. Bring me that plastic bag. My body's inside the plastic bag. We're not talking about abortion. We're not. No. That is another hot topic for another hot day. That is one of the topics. It's abortion. Yeah, we're not talking about it. We'll bring up 40 another time, okay? But today we're talking about the dangers of rising fascism and what we can do about it. And I tell you what you can do about it. Sing.

You better dance. Because that's what dictators hate. They hate you dancing. They hate tractor races. Yes. And that's one thing. So if you want to tell a dictator to go F, you go, I'm going dancing, bitch. And then they'll just leave you alone. That's it. That's what I, every time, you know, every time a dictator comes into power, if we could just show them that joy is,

Joy will take their power away. Joy is what love wins. And that's why this house chooses violence. Yeah. Yeah. What if I did just deck you? That would be so crazy. At least it would be something different. Your mouth to God's ears. That's why. But what we decided to do today to represent rising fascism in America. Honestly, I wish fascism would go back to sleep.

I don't know what to say about it. Because it's awoken? Is that why? Because you want it to go back to sleep because it is being awakened? I'm going to confess to you, Jackie, right now. Okay, yeah. No, they can't hear us if you cover your mouth. I had a lot of ideas about climate change and what to do to fix climate change. Yeah, but we didn't talk about rising fascism at all. We talked only about climate change. We didn't talk about this episode at all. Well, the thing about rising fascism is that where did it get its alarm clock? Where did it get its alarm clock? Where did it get its alarm clock?

I think fascism is actually very scary. But to celebrate, not celebrate. I was like, I don't know what we're celebrating here. Is it because we're maybe, maybe there's, maybe there's a monkey on our back right now. All right. Get off my back and get on my front monkey. You're the only person that just wants to fuck the monkey.

On your back. It does sound... It sounds like a saying from an AA. It sounds like a title of a chapter from AA. I'm just saying there was no dictator in the movie where they snapped West Side Story. There was no dictator there. That's Romeo and Juliet. What? It's a version of Romeo and Juliet. All right, let's just get... All right, so Jackie's avoiding this. Jackie's avoiding the pudding. She doesn't want to talk about the fact that on theme today, which we decided, and I...

We did. We talked about this last episode. We had several meetings about the puddings that would be in hot puds. What would best represent the topics. And for rising fascism, which is bad, we decided to do, we said the words Wienerschnitzel pudding to Sam Wurtz, our producer. And again, like, you know, at points, sometimes,

I kind of wish she'd defy us and make something good. But she, man, down to the letter. Sometimes, no, exactly. But that's what she says. That's what she keeps us honest. She's just like, no, this is rising fascism. Yeah, fascism is unpleasant. You know what else will be deeply unpleasant? Fienerschnitzel pudding. Fienerschnitzel pudding, yeah. So what I know now is that this pudding has veal in it.

I know I've never just straight up had veal pudding before. I know it sounds crazy. Whoa, wait a second. You've never. It's like he hasn't even lived. I've never had veal pudding. So I literally am. Very upset. I'm curious about what this is going to be like. And even I am sort of hesitant. How long have we been talking?

Eight minutes. A long time with the pudding left. So we're going to continue to know. We're going to do this because rising fascism is a problem. And maybe that's what it is, Jackie, is that how do we expect the poors to rise up against the Nazis? Unless we show them how we can also be brave. Through PUD. I mean, this is our Vietnam.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I thought I was hearing choppers. That was last week. Oh, that was last week. Oh, yeah. That was really just a lot of there seems to be a lot of a lot of celebrities are in trouble right now. Let's get to the pudding. OK, because you're obviously avoiding the pudding.

I'd rather be in Vietnam than eat this pudding. I've heard actually Vietnam's wonderful. Yeah, just the country. And it's a lot of guys that look like this in Vietnam looking for a wife. Only you'd fit right in. I do think that I would be a very comforting sight to a 30-year-old single mother from Vietnam that I was going to bring over from America. I guess this is the man that I choose. He doesn't beat me.

Yeah, because you can't see her. Because you can't see out of your glasses. Where are you? I would be beating you. And I want you to know that. Fascism is rising. So we better kiss. Uh-oh. See, that's what's also important. Keeping it bisexual. Thank you. Thank you. I feel seen. I feel validated. Let's just fucking eat the pudding. All right, so now this is Wiener schnitzel pudding. This is another parfait. I know that there are. So we'll see the toasted. That is wildly, wildly smelly. Ooh.

Wow. Oh, my good Lord. That is wild smelling. It just came out of the. Oh, wow. We wow. Oh, man. Oh, no. God, I actually got that was that was a little heat. All right, let's do it. Let's eat it because I'm going to try it first. Right. Yes, it might smell like Gary Busey's belt buckle, but I think this is going to be good.

I don't know. All right. No, I'm psyching myself up. I can't believe we decided. They can't see us. They can't even see. They can hear. Those of you that are watching can see the struggle. But if you're just listening, understand how we should be as worried about trying this Venus nistle as about how fascism is getting up and going to lunch. Oh, yeah. Fascism's going to lunch. Look at this. Yeah. And this is what it eats. So think about that, fascists. Think about that, you fascist pigs.

Here we go. Wow. Oh, my God. Whoa. This is a lot thicker than I thought it was going to be. Oh, man. I don't know about this one. Oh. No, I think it's going to be good. All right. So I'm going to try it. Big old heaping spoonful. Big old heaper on there. Yum, yum. Oh, no. My stomach is already turning. Look out, teeth. Look out, gums. Hello, stomach. Here it comes. No. Please don't make me eat it. That's tremendously bad. Don't make me eat it.

I don't want to. Henry, why? You know, we're the ones that come up with the puts. Like, why do we do this to ourselves? All right. Oh, wow. That's horrendous. All right. One, two, three. Down the hatch. Just like rising fascism. Just like rising fascism. It is something that cannot continue. Jackie is like, ugh. She is actively throwing.

Oh, okay. Do we have to pause? Do we have to pause, get a bucket? I just had to throw it up in the bucket. Oh!

That was it. That was the worst one. That was the worst one. I almost threw up all over the floor. Oh, God. That was it. Oh, my God. It's so stuck in my teeth. It's so bad. Oh, my God. This is why fascism has to be stopped. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Do you want the trash can? No, no. Fascism has to be stopped. Fascism has to be stopped. We're doing it. We're doing it single-handedly. How are we doing?

Oh, fuck. I can't believe it. Man, we're here in our library here at the Zabrowski compound. I don't know if there's any books that can describe what's happening. I don't know that can try and help us. Oh, God, Jackie. God, it's all over the microphone. Oh, you got out the microphone. Oh, now it's on my gloves. Oh, God. For those of you who don't know, I'm wearing gloves. I almost drank my vanilla latte after eating it. Oh, fuck.

Al Gore was screwed. Al Gore was screwed in 2004, man. That's where, honestly, that was like a big thing. Remember when he brought up the climate change? That's what I wanted to talk about more so was how Al Gore got screwed. Because he wasn't exciting enough. How much time left? 15 fucking minutes. All right. All right. All right. Let's get back into it because we are going to have to eat this one more time. No, we are not. Yes, we are. It is literally called good bud. If we don't eat the pudding, because again, if we don't,

We win. Yeah, the fascists win. Stephen Miller right now. We are doing this for you guys. There are people sitting somewhere in a compound in Washington, D.C. with the plans open for how they're going to distribute the country states in a new way. They're flipping Alabama. They're going to make it into Missouri. There's a bunch of stuff that's going to happen that you don't understand. Is that what the fascists are doing? Gerrymandering is everywhere. And his brother, Stephen Mandering, ain't that nice either. Ah!

Wow, that one is kind of spicy. I just got a little spice in there. No, that's vomit that you're experiencing from inside of you. But yeah, so we have to do something. And I'd say the big number one thing truly to do is rock the vote. Yeah, you've got to get out there and vote. You got to vote for, I don't know.

I don't know who to tell you to vote for, but I do know... I feel like a lot of people say vote. I say, honestly, we've got to make something else that's not voting. Yeah, vote instead. I say voting, not voting. Let's get on some yachts. You're just saying about riding in a boat. Wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah. I think... Yeah, riding in a boat is much more fun than going to vote. Yes, that's why we should get...

An LPN yacht. Why are there not voting machines on gambling boats? Yeah, it should be a one-stop shop. Why are there not, like, why can't there be a place that I can vote and gamble? Because then actually, then I'd like it. If there was a buffet, this is always about packaging. This is what nobody understands and I wish more people would understand. Talk to me.

Talk to the American people. Don't you trust this man? I mean, look at his sunglasses. Talk to me, all right? I'm going to eat another spoonful of this veal-based pudding for you to show me. You want my vote? Then you got to come down and eat this pudding. There's nowhere for you to put. Give me a trash can. Pass in the trash can. All my brothers puking on my puke.

He's literally spuking on my own puke.

You can see what that looks like if you want to take a look at it. Brother, sister, puke. I will. You know what? First puke of the show. I didn't puke. I just can't let it back. I can't go past the teeth. But you're going to have to do one more because if you don't, you know who wins? You know who I heard that they're going to run? The Republicans. I heard they're going to run Pinocchio. Honestly, we'd know if he's lying.

I'm just going to open up the trash can.

Because, Jackie, you're doing this because there are kids in Somalia that can't come to America and go to the football game. You know, people ask. They're like, your parents must be so proud. We're fighting fascism every fucking day. What are you doing to fight fascism? You're just sitting there listening to a fucking podcast. We're sitting here and we're doing what we have to do to fucking fight fascism. Because you know what happens? It's not the bad guys win. The bad guys are not as bad as the good guys who do nothing. Wow.

So now eat that pudding. Eat the truth. Eat that Venus Dental pudding. In front of my face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta get your yeah, yeahs out. No, no, no. Spit it right back out. Yeah, you don't have to finish it. Just spit it right back out. I also forgot to wear deodorant.

So not only is just the, I am kind of, I forgot to wear a new order. So I'm just smelling myself as I'm bringing the Venus desert to my own nose. At least you don't smell worse than this smells. I am, I feel like I'm in prison in a way, which is what we're all going to be in.

Yeah. If fascists rise to the... They're rising up against. There's lots of things rising up against because, you know, you've brought up the poor's rising up, Henry. Cartier boss with $7.5 billion fortune says prospect of the poor rising up, quote, keeps him awake at night. Oh, yeah, because he's preparing. Honestly, I think he should be prepared for it. I mean, I just feel like, well, Cartier, they're not coming for the guys from Cartier. They're going to come from the guys that are doing a... Oh, so bad. Wow. Wow.

I almost said something real. Yeah? What were you going to say? I don't even remember. I was going to try to say something else. It's a real fact. You're so upset by how disgusting the put is that we almost had a real thought come through, which is scary on this show. See, but look at this next side. That's what we're doing. That's what we're destroying. Silence is dangerous in the current age of rising fascism in the United States. That's why we're here. Freedom! Freedom!

I actually feel like... I'm sorry. I feel like if more people yelled the word freedom... Freedom, yeah. That maybe... You know what? Like in the morning, you're supposed to like for your cortisol levels, you're supposed to like get the sun on your face. We're not supposed to be looking at our phones. And I think the second you wake up in the morning, don't tell your partner you're going to do it. Just the second your eyes squeak open, you go...

Freedom! And that's your freedom to do it. Because you're letting the neighbors know that you don't want to not be free. That's the key. We ain't rolling over for nobody. Not today. That's one thing that we're going to show you here with Zebrowski's twosome show here. We don't roll over for anybody. I'm not rolling over for any fucking dictator. No, I ain't a dog. I don't do dog tricks. Nah, man. I don't do no cat licks. Nah, man. I ain't got no sandpaper tongue. No, I ain't got no little box.

But I could shit inside if I wanted to. I do shit inside. It's called in a toilet. Yeah, good for you. I got rid of mine. I spent a lot of money for a toilet. I did. Yeah, I got rid of mine. You got an extra nice one. I got it. I got rid of mine. Why? You're doing no toilet? Yeah, I was just like, you know, what are my pots doing?

Oh, you should have brought this up for our climate change episode. You're right. I should have. Because you're saving water. I didn't know that you were using that to save water. That's so brave. Yeah, I'm doing it because, again, this is what I give to our community. And if I can shit in a pot and say, like, this is my Mephisto, like, I want everyone to know. What does that mean to you? It's my Mephisto. Oh, wow.

What are you saying? It's like manifesto, but there's like a fist in it. It's a thing that you made up and didn't tell anybody what that was. And then Mephisto is the name of a...

My manifesto, yes. My manifesto. My manifesto. And I've been working. Again, I'm just like the Cartier boss. You're just like him. I'm up at night. I've got my fashion. I've got my fashion. Yeah, because how are we supposed to sleep when all these rhinestones shine into our eyeballs? It's hard. Well, you know, we sleep under the lights. We sleep right here. Oh, I sleep.

In order to be ready for camera, camera ready, which is what we say in the industry, I sleep with lights on. Yeah, because they come in and they just put this on us. Yep. You have to constantly try to close his mouth, which is hard. I go being like, Natalie, help me find my light. And she moves my chin back so I can find my light while I'm sleeping. While he sleeps. But not while he's wearing this, because as we all know, you're not allowed in the bedroom wearing this. Because again, because...

She can't keep her hands off me. Yeah. She's trying not to get a peregrine. Man, there's something about the Zebrowski upper arms. It's like it's this pasty. Man, people are just like, ooh, show me. It's my best part. I don't care what anybody says. Show me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, ooh, yeah. This is my best part. Also, best part, truly, my fins. Right there, my fins. I don't know. Is that what they call it in the? I got front tits and I have side tits. And my back tits are getting smaller. Yeah.

Yeah, but also you will learn as someone that's like, you got to take that side tit, push it to the front. Yeah, but I mean, once I'm on Drag Race. Well, I think that we did everything we could. Are we close to it? No. Wow.

So fascism. What is fascism, Henry? You know what I say about fascism is that that's the real F word. Yeah. Yeah. It's not fuck. No. And also what they say is that the pen is mightier than the sword, but tell that to somebody with a drone army. Oh, my God. But we are going to come out there. We are...

All the different ways we're fighting fascism can't even be named because if we started, the show would never end. So I'd like for you to do. I'd like for you to email thegoodput at gmail.com. G-U-D-P-U-D.

What I'd like for you to do is tell us what you think you're doing to fight fascism that's remotely better than what we're doing. All right? Because as you can see, us fighting fascism is not only fun and engaging, but we all learn and it's 2D, 3D. Yeah. And I feel like, you know, part of the thing that we can do to start fighting fascism is volunteer work.

Henry, what kind of volunteering will you be doing? I volunteer to make sure my home is safe. I don't know if that's going to... I will volunteer myself going downtown.

To Osteria Mozza. Yeah. And I will say to everyone at the mozzarella bar. The restaurant. Yeah. I will tell everyone at the mozzarella bar that fascism is on the rise. Yeah. And they hopefully don't have a reservation here. Yeah. Because we don't want them on our mozzarella. And also, yeah, I didn't know what word you were saying. Did you say mozzarella? Because that's not how we say it in this family. No, it is a mozzarella bar. Yeah. It's a mozzarella bar. I know. I forgot. I said too many letters. Yeah. Now,

Now, I feel like people are like, it's scary, right? It's scary what's happening here. Fascism? Yeah. But like I watched American History X and like that was a while ago. And I feel like it's like, didn't we defeat it then?

Didn't he overcome it then? Yeah, I hate the sequel. I feel like we're in a sequel and I'm like, can I leave? Yeah, where he was just like, oh, I'm going to curb you again. And then he's like, JK, curb you with flowers. And then like what? It was after his after him. I know what the curbing is, but what is curbing with flowers mean? They throw flowers at him instead.

But curbing is the act of a man biting the curb and then kicking his head. Yeah, but he's reformed now. He is reformed. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. That like he lost all the weight. Oh, good. He's looking good. Yeah, he is looking good. He turned his flappies into tighties. Man, it's so hard to do. It's extremely hard. That's what they don't tell you. No, I wish it more. People would stop fighting fascists and then go back to fighting some flappies. Yeah, because my flappies loud.

As is the beating of the drum of fascism. Yeah, and that's why it's scary. And I think that we should nip it in the bud. I don't know why we're allowing it to happen.

That's just a good question. Yeah. I don't know why. Why is it happening? I don't know. I don't... When we... That's why I'm glad people are turning to us to ask these questions because it's like, who would they go to? Obviously, you watch Good Pud. We obviously are like harbingers of truth. And like, who else would you want to find out these like scandals

scary things from and because i know that most of you are listening to this like fascism what like i've never heard of this before and and that we are the ones it's not just a river in egypt yeah and we're telling you about this and it's got to be hard to hear oh yeah everyone's surprised everyone's surprised and you know that we're on the front lines here and it's a lot for people to take but i uh you know and i'm sorry you have to get it this way but fascism is on is going around

And that's why I just think we really got to get at it. Do you think that? I think that we should change it to fashionism. Wow.

Wow. Wear a shirt. And then we would obviously really fit right in. Look at this fashion, everybody. Do you think that Sam felt bad about having to buy baby lamb to make us a pudding? It's a full waste of the flesh and its little life. Do you think that his little life, yeah, do you think that maybe— No, his life was worthless. His life was worthless. We're going to throw this in the garbage. Because normally we would come back to the pudding several times. We can't. Like, I can't do it.

I cannot consume any more of this. Much like I wish that our parents would say the same about Fox News. Oh, yeah. Because talk about Viennese stencil pudding. Yeah, they're eating it over there. They're fucking sopping it up. I am so...

fully nauseous yeah no it's like it's so inside of my teeth and i i can't wait to brush my teeth people could taste it so they know what it would feel like to have the physicalization of what it's like to read the news someday because that is what this is the wiener schnitzel pudding is just the news it's just bad news we made it it's just bad news

But I guess to sort of wrap it up, what a perfect episode. What did we learn today? All right. We learned Wienerschützel might not be the best pudding. Or at least like when we start selling our line of savory puddings, like it might not be the front runner. Jackie, you know what? I mean this. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and had an idea and I wrote it down on my phone. Hear me out.

savory rice crispy treats. Ooh, because then it's like a scavenger hunt for your teeth. But it's bacon in it. You put meat in a rice crispy treat.

Okay. You don't think that's good? I think it's good. I was like, that actually sounds really good. I think if you can make a putt out of it, then you can make a marshmallow out of it. That's what I'm saying. Marshmallow. But you start with the marshmallows. And so you like cook it down in the gelatin. In marshmallows. So you make it sweet and savory with the sweet marshmallows and the meat in it. Like chorizo. Oh.

Okay. Chorizo in a Rice Krispie drink might be pretty fucking good. This is our problem. Then we start talking to each other and we go, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. I'm not high. I'm trying to fight fascism. We're eating Wiener schnitzel pudding. We're trying to fight fascism. All right? And everyone's saying that you can't do it. They're all just saying like vote, but voting's fucking boring. Yeah. All right? So we got to do something more fun. I wish we could play tennis to beat fascism.

But we can't. No. Because I wish there was. That'd be good. Where we send our tennis guy or lady in and then fascism sends their tennis person in. Like Zendaya in the tennis sexy movie. Oh, she in a tennis movie? Tennis sexy movie. It's going to be sexy. That's fine. Why are you? Yeah, it's going to be. It's like, remember when Andre Agassi was around? She needs to do more dunes.

Less sexy tennis movies. All right, guys, we fought fascism. Yeah, so we fixed it and you're welcome. So now that fascism has been wrapped up by saying the words freedom. So we now know you say the words freedom every morning. Dancing cures fascism. Yes. Don't start a savory pudding based show.

Because you find yourself in a situation where you get trapped. I'm going to liquid shit. I'm going to just throw up out of my ass. My ass is going to be... Because we also are recording some of these in a batch way. So we really just got them just mainlining a whole bunch of pudding at once. But that's why we're American. Yeah, and we do it for you. We do it for you because you can't do it because you won't do it. Because you're scared. And...

We can. And so thank you, Jackie. So first of all, thank you, Jackie. You know what? Thank you, Henry. This has been really illuminating. Go to thegoodput at gmail.com. Explain to us about how you are ineffectually fighting fascism. Unless you're actually fighting fascism. But then it's just like, just make it, jazz it up.

jazz it up with something. Just put a couple, yeah, dance vids. Something fun in there. All right? Something that gets people attention. You know, something that makes people want to get involved. Jump them up. Yeah, because people hate, you know what it is? Clipboards. Everybody hates them. You're right. You know what people like? Bare human breasts.

Use those. Not those. Yours are... I'd cut them off if I could. I'd cut them right off. I'd cut all your parts off. I'd just make you a sexless stump torso if I could. I can't wait for the day. Sew it up, Henry. Throw me in the ocean. All right. Wow. Get out there. Put some put on it. Put some put on it. And have a good put day. I just realized Sam forgot to make this spicy.

Yeah. Banana pudding. Banana pudding. Banana pudding.

Toyota.

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