Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 49 | Hungry Like the Wolf: Part 1
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Mikey Gilder, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. You began the session last time sitting in front of Count Escher Kreskov. Vampire Count... Extraordinaire. Extraordinaire. Master Alchemist and Machinist. And... Machinist. Machinist. Probably both, actually. Okay.

And you asked him for help, you told him you were there for Xurn, you basically... I don't know what the fuck even happened last... It's only been a few weeks. You brought the child, and he said that he would be in that catatonic state.

He told you that he could help with creating an alchemical brew that could cleanse her of whatever the Shadarchai, the Dusk Elves of Scephaniel, had done to her. But he was basically fresh out of the incredibly potent reagents that grew with the negative energy of the Shadowfell that seeped into this land.

You also requested his help in fighting or in uprising against the Carrion King Vorok. But he seemed very hopeless and said there was no point.

He told you his story eventually, that he had had a daughter, an adoptive daughter who was a vampire like he was, and that she had become restless. - I have in my notes here, it says that she took a dark dump. I mean gift, sorry. My handwriting was a little... I can see that. - And that his daughter, Ravinovia,

had become restless. And although she had the body of a girl younger than 10, she was 200 years old and she had gone restless and gone to something called the Amber Temple and taken a gift from a dark power there.

and basically defected and joined the Carrion King to become the princess of Skaath R'neil, where she utilized her newly gained dark

flesh-shaping powers to help whatever the carrion king was doing. So obviously he's very hopeless. And you go out the next day and manage to conquer your emotions and really realize just how much of a negative energy connection there is to this place, how deeply connected to the Shadowfell and encounter all sorts of undead and malevolent shadow creatures.

You eventually were able to fully replenish his stock. He created a brew and the child was awakened. The child revealed her name to be Valeska, a 10-year-old Vistani child from several hundred miles into the south. And she said that she had heard howling.

And she had then made her way into the woods away from her camp when they were almost returned to their home and suddenly woke up there. And that was all you knew.

You had a feast to celebrate her and make her feel special and at home, and then that evening you all settled down after bleeding out or something, and it was goofy. Shooting each other with crossbow bolts. Sam, what? Yeah, we basically tried to summon bread. You summoned bread, you shot each other with crossbow bolts.

You bled everywhere. And then, in the middle of the night, you were ambushed by burrowing undead spider beetle monstrosities and worms who were trying to encase Iris in webbing and drag her into their burrows. Not on my watch. You managed to smite them. However, Escher had-- and then as you made your way to the foyer and the whole castle was under attack,

And Escher, returning from the dungeon with blood running down his chin, fully rejuvenated, finished off the rest of the attackers. And when you made your way to the child's bedroom, you found that she was gone in a smooth, clung-up, burrowing hole in its place. Does that all make sense? Did I miss anything? Any other questions? I don't think you missed anything. Where are we? So, I will set the scene.

Blood, bread, and beetles. That's the name of the episode now. That's the name of my new movie. It's perfect. Beetles are really annoying. You are standing in the bedroom, the former bedroom of Ravinovia von Zarvich, and...

You see now that where the child Valeska has been, there is just an empty bed and a sealed up hole, a smooth patch on the floor.

As the sounds of the battle with the gargoyles finally finishing off the rest of the undead abominations that had crawled and burrowed through the stone walls and floors of this castle subsiding, you hear the loud booming of thunder all around you that shakes the castle. As it feels like a storm is roiling and gathering over top the castle directly.

What do you all do? You see Escher. You see his grayish skin with thick, dark veins and hollow eyes. His skin seems pristine. His hair is glistening. He has blood running down his chin and there's only a single line of putrid ichor from the remains of the spider creatures that he bisected with his rapier.

on his cheek as he just stares at the hole and he looks down and he seems to be absolutely brimming with rage as you see a level of energy and vitality that you have not experienced since arriving at Castle Remordia. What do you all do? Is the siege still happening?

It sounds like the... It sounds like the... that there is still some minor conflict throughout the castle, but it sounds like the gargoyles, the stone watchers are getting it under control. Is he just me, or does he look like... I don't know. He looks a little different.

The child is gone! Where did she go? But yeah, is that true? But, I mean, look at him. Aesir, you know this place way better than we do, certainly. It's your home. They can't have gotten far. Where could they get him? Can we head him off? Is there a way? What is the easiest way for burrowing animals to get into the castle? We have to cut them off. We have to save the child. Are we in a tower?

You're in a tower on a large cliff face. I mean, a castle on a large cliff face. Okay, okay. Yeah. He looks and he's fuming with rage and he says, If only I had had her power to just slip through the floors. Well, if only you'd allowed us to keep the child with us like we had recommended. Not again. Yes, no, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Float off. You hear the booming?

of thunder again. As you see now, you hear the pitter pattering of heavy rainfall as the sky begins to open up. As you actually see the clouds start to shape and through the window, you see the flash of lightning, not only is it arced down to the valley, but also the arcs all across. You actually see as the clouds start to roil and take strange shapes in the sky, it booms out in thunder.

I mean, is that whole storm thing, is that natural? Is it normally what storms look like? Is it you? Is it because you're sad? He... He's trembling with anger as he narrows his eyes and says, No, it is him. As he turns and pushes past you. Then... And...

He pushes past you as he begins to descend. He steps over the ruins of a gargoyle. It seems to have been crumbled into four pieces and is covered in some disgusting webbing. As he just walks, he pushes past you and he disappears down the stairs. I really wish he'd be a little bit more vocal and communicative with us. I know that we were going to go meet the other count, but...

Does that need to wait? We need to go after this kid. We have to help the other children as well. There could be many of them. Maybe this is our chance to just strike into the heart.

I agree that, I mean, if they need a raven child for some reason and she ends up being the raven child, it's probably bad that they have her now. Should we go after, excuse me, how can we help? Or do we just like wait here and just stand around? Come on, talk after her. I'm going to go with you. And I'm going to try to push Toa towards where he went. You call out and ask that and you all turn and you look and you just see Brutus looking up at you. Oh, I don't know.

of really bad and stressful situations, I'm sorry. As he waits for you all to pass, as you, as you continue, as you follow after Escher, and you see as he turns and goes through a door towards a central tower that you hadn't been in before, as he begins to ascend a spiraling staircase up as the,

as the entire castle shakes from the thunder. And then as a flash of lightning illuminates the sky out the window, you hear a booming voice radiating all around you.

and it says, "Count Kreskov, I have my prize!" As you, it booms and shakes out with the thunder, with the furious force of thunder, as he makes his way out to the very top of this tower, and

He leans the door open and rain is melting down and the wind is howling as he steps right out and you follow him. And you see now as there's a massive gathering storm, but it's entirely centralized over Castle Remornia. As you see far ahead out into the valley, the sky seems to be clear. As you then look up and see what Escher is looking at.

And you see now the clouds have formed and taken shape and you see a head. It's naked and entirely bald, fleshy and bloated in certain parts.

A long, extending, black beak that's curved with jagged teeth from within. Small, beady, malevolent eyes all formed out of the roiling clouds as the flesh from the beak curves up into these strange-looking cheeks as this vulture-like, the head of this vulture-like entity.

stares down with this wicked glee as it looks onto the castle. And you see now Escher in his clothing now is whipping in the wind as his hair is falling, soup completely drenched now, as the rain drenches all of you.

as you hear the voice boom out again, and it says, "Count Grascoff, now you see the price of your betrayal. You see that me destroying your castle is not at all

As delicious as stealing your daughter? Did you like her new creations? As

as you see the mouth opening up, as it doesn't, the eyes don't seem to be locking in on any individual creature, especially not Escher, and it just seems to loom over the entire castle. And Escher looks and he screams up, he's like, "Is this what you want, Vorlock? Is this?"

"What are you doing, Carrion King? "You have no idea what you began tonight!" As it booms and echoes throughout the storm, and almost illuminated, or increased by a magic of his own, not drowned out by the wind. And the figure in the clouds does not seem to be able to hear, as it does not respond.

We now have the final piece to our plan. Vengeance will be mine. It's finally finished for you, Count Kreskov. And now, my vengeance, as I peer through the mist and through the sand,

And your counterpart will be getting his comeuppance soon enough. And then you will be carrying more than you already are. They will be carrying. Skafranil, Striga, all will be carrying.

Your daughter says she hopes you can see reason. And join us. The gates of Castle Bloomvale are open and waiting, Count Grasgow. Goodbye!

as he croaks out as it booms and in a single crash of lightning and thunder, the clouds lose their form and begin to shift back into storm clouds as the rain falls. And Escher stops for a moment and he turns to all of you and he says, I've changed my mind.

I am going to remove his head myself. Well, that's something we can probably help you with. That's sort of what we're kind of here doing. You heard that. She's alive. She's okay. We can go get her at this gloomy place. That's right. Any other plans that we had, I mean, it sounds like the other count might be in trouble, and we can deal with that too, but we have to worry about the children first. If those creatures are hugging,

Underground, I have no idea where I've scoured these mountains and this valley for any caverns. And beyond the spider burrow and the tombs that I took you to, I'm not aware of any. I mean, is there any way that we can just plan to strike quickly before they have any time to mount any kind of a defense? And then we'll find them when they pop up. We have to tell Alexei. He has an army. He has crusaders.

We- Certainly sounds helpful. I- I... We have to go. I have to go back. Well, we can go with you. Is there a fast way to get there or do we have to walk again? Do you think I traveled my ground, Tony? Well, I meant really for us.

Leslie's down for the rain. As he turns and completely drenched, as the rain starts to dissipate, as he storms his way back through the door into the tallest tower in this place and slams the door behind him. We'll follow him. No, wait, don't leave us out here.

It's raining. Somebody in chat mentioned the Skeksis and I am triggered. Okay? I am going to rain unholy or holy fire and purge all of them. The Skeksis make me so mad.

Oh, okay. No, most don't. Yes. Holy and unholy fire. I will purge them from existence. The Skeksis make me so mad. Um, as he leads you all to the, uh, the foyer, the foyer of the castle, as, uh, as the fireplace, uh, immediately roars up and you see that Brutus is, is there tending to it, as he, uh,

As Escher stands by it, and his eyes are darting back and forth, he says, I can't believe it. I thought I was safe, and all I took was burbling insects and raffinets. Don't blame yourself. I mean, presumably this was your daughter's doing. She would have known the castle and its vulnerability in that way. How did they know she was here? It doesn't make any sense. There haven't been any vultures here in...

In weeks. That's a good point. And maybe, do they have some kind of spell to spy on you? Would you be able to see through that? He's gaining in power every month. I no longer know what power he has access to. Maybe when they put her in the state that we found her in, they'd also, you know, found some way to scry on her. Who knows what they saw while they were able to do that. But why this child?

Well, I think that's... If they're looking for the Raven Child, whatever that means, maybe they somehow know that this is the real deal and all, you know, they could somehow tell given that they've had so many sort of false guesses so far. He bites his lip and his eyes are staring into the flame as if searching for some kind of answer. And he...

He turns back to you and says, "They are attempting to go through the mists. There are far darker powers than I even anticipated." Like the mist of, sort of, Misty Land? Or is there some kind of other mist that I don't know about? "Of the world, you saw just a taste of the Shadowfell, but there's parts of it lost. Souls of choking mists.

Iris, why would they want you?

Homeless, you know. I don't even know what they were. Did they look familiar at all? Have you seen anything like that from where you're from? They looked like bugs. Well, I mean, like, they were really big bugs. And they were kind of, like, dead, but not really dead. I live in a palace. I don't normally keep very large, mostly dead bugs. But I'm from a palace. I guess that's fair.

It's kind of like match your vibe, you know what I mean? No, I don't know Chimmy. It seems quite rude. I don't know. I don't have any moss-eaten holes on my robe. I'm like desperately trying to make eye contact. Oh, um, I mean, no, I mean just, you know, that they were going after you. So like, you know, some kind of connection. Anyway... No, she's very desirable. Who wouldn't go after her? Thank you.

Oh, oh, that's right. Maybe she wasn't being singled out. They just went for her first because they're like, wow, she's very desirable. When Escher said Unholy Alliance, I think back again to the shape of the face in the clouds. Yeah. Does the beak strike a resemblance to the creature that I met while I was, let's say, traveling with you?

I would say no. I would say that this looked like a strange alien vulture creature with strange teeth and it looked just very unhealthy. Meanwhile, the creature that you had mentioned was absolutely statuesque and perfect and was not vulture-like. It was more of a raptor-like than carrion. Very good. Hmm.

Hmm, as Asher turns to Yuto and says, "I don't... there's no way that she would have any way of recognizing it. Those were the creations of my little bat." So she just can make those? Like, just... just put them together and build them? She can put together whatever she can imagine. Her flesh crafting powers granted by that temple. I would... I'd recognize her.

unique signature of a woman. But! That... that is not for us to bother with. They have the girl, they're underground. I have no way of sipping through the walls and floors of my own castle. What kind of vampire count am I? But! We... we can perhaps warn Alexei. Perhaps rally him to our cause. Find the mother of the child.

She said that she had a mother, right? Most girls do. Yeah, I think she has a mother outside of some kind of town or something. In like a camp, maybe. Why would we want to do that? We don't have her back yet. I mean, we could see why she might be so special. Get some information. It certainly doesn't hurt.

Just be like, that's kind of pouring salt in the wound. Like, oh, they took your kid and like, we can't get her back, really. Maybe we'll get her back. Please drag up all the feelings and then be very sad when she's dead. It's kind of cruel. We're gonna get her back. We don't disagree with you, Faith.

Yes, we rescued your daughter, and then we lost her. By the way, what can you tell us? Well, maybe we don't tell her that we rescued her. Maybe we can say, hey, we're really close to rescuing your daughter, maybe, and if you tell us everything you know about her, why she might be special, maybe some kind of special powers that she had when she was young or anything else unusual about her, it might help us find her. Or at least understand why they need her. Right? I mean, it might be kind of unpleasant, but...

Only if it doesn't take much of a detour to get there and find out those answers. We're on a clock now. We're on a clock. I guess I'm gonna be like, "We're on a sand timer now." Do you mean hourglass? Hourglass. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like sand through the hourglass. These are the days of our lives.

I don't really know what Caprice is doing, but I do agree with him. We are short on time. This song sounds very apropos. Okay, I mean, it's nice. Is that you actually playing your violin, or just me? Well, I'm playing my violin. And yes, I watched it live at some of our live shows.

Fucking Stefano, get out of here. Fucking Stefano. The hell? God, Stefano. Either way, we need to find how to travel. So, I mean, if you can travel faster than we can, maybe you just tell us how to get there and we'll meet you.

A few days? A few weeks? Do we have a teleportation or something? Yeah, we got something like that. I'm looking back here, trying to recall. Is there any- One to Zentra, one to the Eastguard in Ostengard. Yeah, I don't think we have any into Skaffronil. You see as the fire flickers and lures in the fireplace, illuminating,

the Count, that his youth has returned, and there is, where there had been a weary defeat before, there is a resolution and an intelligence as his eyes dart back and forth, as if he's piecing something together. And he takes a breath and he turns to all of you and says,

You all look terrible and you need some rest. Of course you're not going to walk, we're going to all fly together. I need to prepare your mounts. Get me into a morning, we'll leave first thing. All right, fair enough. I hope the mounts are a nightmare for you. Do you think I have any more Persephone's lying around?

I don't know your life. Well, I'm impressed that you think that. My wife. I don't know your life. I don't know you, man. We just met. Damn elevators and shit. Well, yeah, I can definitely use a rest, but that's for certain.

It feels weird. Well, it's the middle of the night, right? Yes. And we didn't finish a long rest. Yes. Correct. I guess we could try to get some sleep. Is there anything we can do to help you prepare our mounts, or should we just go to bed? Go to bed. You're going to need all your strength to fly and make sure your mounts do not kill you. All right. We'll make the journey in two days. Bye, Skye. It'll be a long night in my laboratory.

If you need something, Brutus should be able to provide it. Do not come and disturb me. All right, understood. I guess that's that. All right, well, good night, good luck, and we'll just be, you know, in our rooms. Do you have a part for you, sir?

If Brutus knows what that is, he'll fetch it for you. As he glides off in the direction of where you know he'll be allowed to be. Is that like a cheese sandwich? Brutus! Brutus, who's just been sitting there watching, trying to calm down, his tail flipping back and forth, he immediately snaps to attention. "Oh, yes, I'm here to see what you need!" Do you have a cheese?

Could you describe it using this sentence please? Do you have Parcheesi? Um, what is Parcheesi? It is a game. Do you have one in colour? Oh! Or do you have games? I'll just bring all of them and you can see if one is Parcheesi or colour. I'll be right back. Bring a bunch of knives too. Yeah, all of them. Okay, games, knives, anymore.

Not necessarily in that way. Um, I think that covers all of my needs. Um, some cheese, maybe, given the subject matter? Eight cheese. Okay, I'll bring you all that, and then I'm gonna go clean up the dungeon, and then you hold it down toward the dungeon area after, I'll bring everything back if you need anything. Goodbye! And he shuffles off. Well, let's make our way back to Aldrin, then. Um, all right.

I guess we'll walk back to the room. You're in your room, and it is an absolute fucking disaster. There is soggy bread, there's blood, there's webbing, there is a bunch-- the corpses of a bunch of undead, spider, beetle, and worm abominations strewn about. I just, like, when we get up to the room, I'm just like, and I just begin waving my hand and, like, trying to prestidigitate things and, like, clean things up as I move around the room. Yeah, you do that.

You're moving things around the best that you can. You're piling up all the pieces of bodies. Just like pushing stuff. It's all charred from the fireball. I'm like scooping out the window the best I can, you know, just like trying to clean it up.

Why don't we sleep over there instead, because the other... We were sort of on one side, right? There's a sealed out hole, but there are a couple beds that have not been cut. The other half of the room is completely fucked. Maybe we just sleep over there for the rest of the night. Yeah, I suppose that's fine. I just want to clean this up a little bit. We should definitely take watch and maybe, you know, set a few alarms and... Sure, and...

We'll see if we make it to the morning. I know about that ritually casting alarm after I've cleaned up a little. Uh, Brutus arrives, uh, with wine and knives, uh, a large stack of these wooden, long wooden boxes, some are square shaped, uh, brightly colored and painted, uh, filled with all sorts of, of, of pieces, and, uh, he, he lays them all down.

and brings out a plate of cheese and some wine and there's actually a few crackers and biscuits and things that he's added and he said "Okay, this is all you need. Like I said, I'll be in the dungeon scrubbing out... Do you need me to clean this up? No, I need to clean the dungeon up first. Would you like me to take care of this?" "The dungeon can go, sir." "Yes, of course, sir." "Why is the dungeon so messy? Oh, just because he ate that guy?"

You don't have a cash no more. Oh, that's sort of what I kind of... He checked out. If you know what I'm saying, he checked out. Like he... Like, I don't know, he's like, he checked out. So he's like, he's... Like, you know, like he's... He checked out. You know what I'm saying? Oh, sort of like... Oh, I'm deep.

Have you used, uh, Spookwood Dead in this campaign? Yeah. Is he, uh, is he intact? Well, uh, he's, if blood is required to be intact, no. If blood is not required to be intact, then yes. But minus the blood, he's whole. So he just kind of like...

He kind of looks like an empty Capri Sun! I'm so glad he said it. Did you just say my name? Why would I? He doesn't say that. Why do you care? Well, do you remember that one time, Iris, you know, with the "Hey, I'm dead, but I can answer your questions and whatnot"?

They was like yesterday. Oh yeah. Yeah, okay. What's happened? We've been through a lot, Tora, right now. Sometimes I pee now. It's been like, it's been over half a week. Oh, it has? Yeah. Okay. Do we think there's any value in questioning our intact guest who checked out? Who's what? Just some dirty dungeon guy. Who cares? He could tell us about being him and...

That's like intel that we might be able to use as we infiltrate the culture that he represents. Maybe we can understand why his leader has that horrible beak thing. Do you know what he does?

We know he comes probably... he probably works for the Carrion King, I mean... What did Escher have to say where he came from? Just that he had someone locked in the dungeon? Well, he said that he was a vulture rider that he had captured, I think. I'll check my memory banks and confirm with the dungeon master. I can't always tell that. That's not right.

Oh, well, that's what I remember now. I mean, the first question we ask him is like, "What's your profession?" He's like, "I make barrels, and we can just call it a day." I mean, I'm not gonna turn down information. You know, I think that's wise. We gather what we can. That would make him a Koopa. I'm sorry, I think-- A Mercer. Is it a Mercer? Mercer. Oh, it was a Koopa, like wagon wheels? Yeah.

"Ahh, you want me to clean up the beetles first?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "I think I do--" "Rose spiders!" "We're passing on the guest interaction, that's fine. That's fine. I'll just sit over here and listen to music." "If you-- I mean, I think, you know, the master said you could even go basically wherever you want as long as you don't disturb him into the laboratory." "Were there any-- were there any holes in the dungeon?"

Like, that they got through? Maybe, I mean, it's... They had to have gone somewhere. We can see where they went down in the floor. So where did they come out of the floor? So, I mean, it's sort of, if it's in the bottom of the castle, it might be a good place to at least check out to see if we can maybe plug up a... Oh, do you think there's some shoe down here? I haven't checked. Um... Yeah, well, maybe you should have checked. Maybe you should go first.

Um, I could certainly go down. We probably, I don't know, you guys could come with me if you want. I'm doing your voice now. Oh no! What's happening to you? Oh no! I mean, you guys could come with me. I'm not going to let you go down there by yourself. If that's what you want to do, then I'll go with you.

I mean, just to kind of take a look around and if you, you know, if you want to come over so you could ask him questions, but I mean, I don't know what more he would say or they or whatever. It's like four o'clock in the morning. Yes, I'm just very full of adrenaline. I can't imagine sleeping right now. That's why I asked for Parchinsi. Oh. I thought we could all get into our jammies and play a game or two. We're going to be here for two days, which seems...

irrationally long things are, which is the hip cord going down and the other areas of the shoulder.

We're going to be in this castle for two days? Yeah, he said we'd leave in two days. No, he said the journey would take two days. And we'd leave in the morning, I think. Did you? I mean, I'm not sure. If we're leaving in the morning, I need to get some sleep. I heard two days, too. Which means that as long as Brutus doesn't leave the body, you can clean up around the body. Brutus, could you bring the body to our room? Yeah, that's way better. And I'll go with you. Oh, I'll carry you.

I'll go check it out. No, you aren't a guest! No, you should go check it out meself. So this is not enough knives. More knives. Oh, I'm so sorry, please forgive me. In case we have Monopoly. A fortnight's 14 would be enough. I'm sorry. Move along. You immediately move along. I reach down.

If you're concerned, let me assist you. And I put my hand on him and I cast Anti-Life Shell on him. And this beautiful golden shimmering barrier surrounds him. Now, nothing can enter the barrier that you don't want it to. Oh! How does it work? Does it just happen? Or do I gotta like focus on something? It just happens. Okay!

Does that mean I'm... So because he's dead, you'll be able to pick up his corpse and carry it up there. But if any of those creatures still exist, they will not be able to touch you. Okay, I feel like I can do it. Yes! Yes, I feel very protected and not scared anymore. Good. Okay. Okay, so we need one...

Body and knobs. Okay, and he scampers off and he jumps down as he makes his way. Have we been to the dungeon? No. No. I don't think so. Would it be a place that would be a place that's known, that's unfamiliar to me, but obvious?

Yes. As in, like, there would obviously be a dungeon, you know where the door is. I would know roughly where I could place maybe a censer, roughly. You watch Brutus shuffle off, and you're all in your room, waiting for him to drag up the corpse. I'm casting alarm and trying to clean up the room, and, like, I'm still doing my thing. Beatrice is fluttering around. It doesn't take long when you hear a...

What is that? You can't guess? Do you want me to guess? Yes. Yeah, I really would like for you to guess. I don't think I can say it in mixed company. It's not really mixed company. We've been together for like a year at this point. I don't think that's what that means.

Do you know what an awesome witch is? I have the clue. With her little hands? They're kind of like sloth creatures, right? Goddammit! What is that?

You basically hear grunting and just... I'm just gonna stare intently at the door. It's like 20 minutes. Ah!

I'm playing a game of Parcheesi. Then you hear someone outside the door and then it opens. Then you see Brutus and there is the corpse of a Shadarchai, a Dusk Elf.

very hollow and sunken, this slightly purplish grey skin, and you see Gruz grab this elf by the scruff and sort of eat your... Something is dragging along the stone as he drags the body and drops it. "Ah, okay. Here. Ow, ow, ow, ow." And you see that

that tucked under his arm. He lets his arm go and four more knives clatter to the floor. - Perfect, thank you. - How do you think I was before bed?

No, I think we're good. You should get some rest as well. I mean, do you sleep? Yeah, well, you just throw him out the window and one of the blockheads will take care of it. When I left Galtica, I did not appreciate how comfortable I would become around dead bodies, but sure, absolutely. No problem. Easy. I mean, this is just kind of life and stricter.

"Oh, sleep tight! Don't let the bedbugs..." "Oh, well, guess we shouldn't joke about bugs biting us!" Yeah. Good night! Good night! And he closes the door behind him. So what do we want to do with this thing? I have no idea.

Tomorrow, I thought we might do the questiony-questiony thing. Unless you've got juice enough right now, I don't know. I could question him now. Do you know what questions you'd like to ask him? Who are you? What can you tell us about the Carrion Gang?

Maybe it's a little late and I might be a little delirious as I'm still casting spells and walking around. But I'm going to be honest, I'd really like to see Capricious try to take this one on himself. All right. Then I cast Feet of the Dead. Go for it. Yeah.

You... You take out the bow. The Bower of Anubis and a shimmering wash is over the body, and you see just the... It's the sunken in, it looks very... The lips are incredibly parched, but it looks like this...

This elf is quite malnourished for meeting its end. You can see now there are two holes on its neck, and it's a male, Shadar Kai, and there's two holes on his neck. Then there's a tiny little trickle of blood, but there's really nothing left. And as you cast the magic iris, you just see the little purple. And you are able to do whatever you do.

This is about five minutes we need to cook. Oh, uh, only five minutes? Oh! Come on, Mike! Hey, buddy, how's it going? Hold on. This one? Yes!

And that's the second one. No, that was for the second question. Hey, buddy, how's it going? I know. I know the game now. What can you tell us about your living life? Oh, bitch. Oh, bitch.

For real? That's a question! Yes! Oh, shit! Um... Fuck! Um... Okay, uh... I think I've got one or two more. Um... Uh... You! What?

I've never seen him so tongue-tied. I... Yes. What on earth was he planning to do? As I'm casting spells and I'm trying to clean up the room, I just look and I go, who thinks that it's worth summoning all of this bread? What is your best way to get into the Carrion King's castle?

As you say, the mouth opens and it says, "Bread?" And then the body completely stills. He continues to stare at it eagerly for the answer to his question. And you look as the body is just a corpse, and where are the mouth and moving?

It is... Wow. Did you find anything good, Caprice? That seems like it was a valuable use of my divine energy. Now I would like to go to bed. Please, throw the body out the window, Caprice. What a waste of time!

It smacks into a gargoyle on the way down. It's like one of the guys that falls off the back of the Titanic. Thank you. I'm literally going to say that. That fucking shit. Oh,

That's exactly what it looks like. It was a corpse, it's a ragdoll effect. And I was like, "Oh shit." All right, well, I'm tired, I'm out. That's it? It's just not gonna tell, I guess it didn't go well. I don't know, did it not work? All right, well, I'm going to sleep as well. All right. I'll take first watch. I'll wake somebody up when I'm done. Not me, goodnight. Or me, goodnight. All right.

And once everybody's asleep, I go back to the Parcheesi board and I just roll. And then I move one piece and I'm like, okay, well then I roll and I'll move the other piece and I'll just play Parcheesi with myself. Aww. That's the saddest thing I've ever seen. For two hours. That's even more sad than us throwing that body at each other. You do that and you're able to get to bed and you all enjoy long rest.

Thank goodness. We roll a list. As the Parcheesi doesn't equal pass the time quite as much as you do, so it actually makes it go by slower. Oh, piz. And you all enjoy long rest.

You awake to what can be, you know, what you can call a morning in Skaffdornil. The sky is incredibly cloudy. It's another gloomy day. And you all have some time in the morning. I'm gonna immediately call for Brigadoon or whatever his name is. Brutus! The Major Dumbo. Oh, Brigadoon! Brigadoon, where are you? Brutus. This morning, Brigadoon?

And Brutus arrives not too long after you awake, and he's carrying a large tray of cooked meat glistening in fat, and cups of milk.

and some light pastries as he carries it. Oh, good morning, everyone. I hope everyone's ready for a travel day. Thanks for just getting rid of that body. I hope it was useful and entertaining. Hopefully you enjoyed the knives. I see that you got some of the buttons pushed in the side of the room. I'll handle that. After you all leave, here you go. Here's your breakfast if you need anything else. The master wants to see you in the stone carving room. Oh, yes? Do you have a...

A gem encrusted bowl with at least 1000 gold pieces which I could destroy at my leisure. Oh! A gem encrusted bowl with exactly 1000 gold pieces? Yes, that I could destroy at my leisure. What would determine the worth of a gem encrusted bowl? The owner of the bowl. Oh! I could check!

I like how Nikki just solved that problem. At least until there's golf balls. We'll see. Well, technically it would be the buyer.

And if I would be willing to buy it for a thousand gold, then that determines its value. It's funny you mention that, Iris. I have a drawing of a spider that I didn't hear that I value at a thousand gold pieces. Does that make it work? As the buyer knows. Fuck, Drat. It looks like the dead spider in the windowsill you do at the Nightmare of Water. Anything else? Well, if you procure me as both,

Great response.

I mean, you know, he's got goblets and he's got plates. I'm certainly no expert, but I imagine that that would probably work. He's got cups. Is there a room full of little spoons somewhere? Yeah, there's spoons. I mean, there's some bowls, sure, but, I mean, jam encrusted. I mean, you know, encrusted very specific. Yeah.

Agreed. Maybe just do the best you can. Or bring a few things and we'll put-- I mean, he's got some gilded bows, I know that, but it's more like a nice powdered filigree. Well, what's the definition of encrusted? Like if there was one gem, would that technically classify as encrusted? Oh, doesn't he mood in one gem? So if there's only one, is that enough? No, I think one is perfect. Wouldn't encrusted kind of mean like all around it? No.

So the definition of encrusted is one or more. It starts at one and then it works its way up. Yes. Oh, well, good luck, Prudis. It doesn't say... It does not say gems encrusted. It says gems encrusted. Ooh. Well, would gems encrusted be...

Grammatically correct, given the hyphen in "gymnas"? But now we're getting into the conversation of the different... the differences in... Just... find me the damn bowl! Okay, I will check the "define porcelain" and whatever else bowls are confined. You got this, buddy, you're really good at what you do. I inspire, I inspire. Would a basin, like a shallow basin, would that count? Yes. I think so.

Okay. Do you happen to have a set of divinatory tools, such as bones, ivory sticks, cards, teeth, or carved runes with 100 gold pieces and an object from the location I would wish to find?

I'll check that too! This one would not need to be destroyed. I'll see if we got any in the bag. And just in case, I could use a bit of fleece. I could use two lodestones. I could use tiny tarts and a feather that is waved in the air. I could use a snake's tongue. And a bit of honeycomb and a drop of sweet oil. A chip of mica. Herb from a featherer.

What? A reliquary. What? A reliquary?

I'm not sure how to pronounce it. I think it just means like a valuable object, almost like a relic. It's like a thing. Isn't a reliquary sort of like an urn to hold ashes? A focus worth at least 1,000 gold pieces, such as a crystal ball or silver mirror or a font filled with holy or nether month. What's the definition of a focus? I mean, that's pretty general. I mean, really anything could be a focus. I'll start with the ball. Come on. LAUGHTER

He's inspired, I'm sure. You'll be happy to admit it! I don't think he heard that. He's pretty quick, Toad, it'll be alright. Alright, well. Let's hope he can use his inspiring inspiration. What's the d for--? Give me an additional 1d10. Oh, d10, okay, roll a d8. Okay, I'm gonna roll an investigation check. Okay.

I start walking to the stone carving room with all my things. I walk to his collectibles area with the small spoons, one side of the room is hard rock cafe memorabilia. I'm very excited. I'm really confused. Oh, Ozzy Osbourne wore this same outfit on his 1983 tour! It was pretty cool. He sweat all over this thing. I don't know if they washed it.

You think that would increase or lower the value, speaking of value? Does anyone remember Planet Hollywood? Holy shit. Oh god. I think there's one still right next to the Baltimore Aquarium. No, I think that's gone. No, he's in Relay! Well, we'll find out when we get back from Gen Con, because that's where the Cody concert is.

I'm on my way. I leave everybody behind. Where are you actually going? To the stone carving room, stone cutting room. You are... Okay, all right. I'm joining, Toa. I support you in your endeavors. I'm going to enjoy a luxurious coffee and breakfast and just put my feet up and... I'm going to have coffee as well and focus on preparing my spells for the day. So I can be done with the shenanigans. Making notes. Toa, what do you think the stone cutting room is for?

I'm not really sure. I mean, I guess I'm a little bit sure. He probably cuts stone in the stone cutting room. Why? For what purpose? I mean, like, you know, Brutus is sort of cut out of stone. Those big, like, blockhead guys are sort of kind of cut out of stone. So maybe he, like, cuts all sorts of...

Do you think he crafted Brutus? Well, I think he said as much. So yes, I'm confident and I can confirm that he crafted Brutus. I don't think that he actually carved him. I thought he just kind of like enlivened him. From what? Like a pile of clay? Can you just buy them in bulk?

Oh, like from a catalogue? From like a medieval... Yeah! Like a medieval gifts catalogue? Yeah! I guess it'd really be Renaissance. Oh, no, it would be more Gothic period, wouldn't it? Do they have those kinds of catalogues in Striga? I don't know. Oh, well. Gothic call. Anyway, he's probably just carving.

I realize you don't know where the, uh, the- Yeah, no, I have no clue. So I'm just like wandering around, like looking. Make an investigation check. Just straight. And we'll see how long it takes you. Uh, ten. Ten. It takes you a while. You and Lufty are always wandering. You poke your head into certain rooms and most of them are all abandoned. Oh, not here? Oh, no, no, no, no, not here. And so, while, what are you all doing while they wander the castle?

choosing my spells for the game. I'm obviously putting out as much music notation as I can, just writing. Felix and I might enjoy conversation. Maybe we even pull out a board game, see if we can enjoy one of the... And I'm assuming that, brightly colored being that they are, these are board games that are for children. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ravine yeah it's a candy land ship yeah exactly right

I feel like we've done this session before. It must be that it's changed a little bit. It's that Moncala effect. You want to play Candyland? Let me put it another way. You want to play a game where you roll a D6 and try to climb up a ladder from 0 to 100, but some numbers put you down and other numbers take you up, and the first person to get to 100 wins? Sure. Oh. I tried to make that sound as boring and horrible as possible. Okay.

You guys talking about Monopoly? We were talking about Candyland. You're Smanny. Oh, I don't know Candyland. Yeah, I'm in. Can you explain what you're doing next? Oh, yeah. You roll a d6 and you try to climb up a ladder from 0 to 100. Is this a d6? But randomly, some numbers take you down and others take you up for no reason. I got a 6.

Oh, you're back down to two. I was on zero. Yes, I know. So you went up to six and now you're at two. Welcome to Candyland! It's almost like Candyland. As you do that, Brutus comes back and...

You actually see that it's a gilded bowl that has some very small bedazzling in it. And it's a bowl, basically a plate with slightly raised edges, and Brutus comes in and says, "Aight, this is the closest I could have. Is this worth... I mean, I'm thinking probably worth about 200 gold pieces, but here you go."

I will give you one thousand gold pieces of metal. Will you give me money? What do you mean to steal from the master? Oh no! Is that what I'm doing? Does this bowl belong to you too? I don't own anything. I can't believe it. You're trying to charge a guest. I thought you needed to say what the price was of it.

Yes, and I'm willing to pay 1,000 gold pieces. Are you going to give me 1,000 gold pieces? Are you trying to steal my money? I'll take it. I was really hoping you'd get the 1,000 gold pieces and be like, Brutus doesn't need this job anymore. I'm out. Brutus is out. Quick.

All right, Iris, I don't really know what you're trying to do, but with all of the studies that I've had under the weave and about the way that magic works in our world, I gotta be honest, I'm really interested to see how this turns out. Oh, I'm not doing anything with it now. I just wanted to follow me in case we need it in the future. What do you plan... If you don't mind me asking, what are you planning on doing? Well, I'm hoping that eventually we'll be able to create not bloody bread...

all bloody watered down blood, I guess. But it will be able to create food and drink within this vessel, and Anubis will embolden us when we need it the most. And it will be a... What is the hip term? Crotchet? You keep turning me and asking me for hip terms. I don't know what that means. Yes, you know what they call them in Lennyville, aren't you? Well,

They're like a million of you or something. I think what Iris is trying to say is, look at your jacket. You're clearly the coolest out of all of us. Yes, you got that at the Hard Rock Cafe. I mean, there's not a single... Yes, Hard Rock Cafe. It's right here on your lapel. There's nobody...

in Striga that dresses anything like you. I mean, you're very cool. - Well, nothing is more hidden cool than stealing. - Oh, well, then, yes, whatever you say, absolutely, no problem. - So when that time comes, you let me know, 'cause I wanna watch this. - Yeah, what do you say? - What's the worst that could happen? - I'll put it in my bag. - I mean, it's just food, right? - Right, a complete waste of my divine ability, but we'll see. We'll roll the...

Six-sided die, as it were. Ooh, another six. I guess I'm back at zero. No, you're at eight. That jumps you up to 22. Fabulous. Well, I'm feeling lucky today.

Lifting Toa. After you wander the castle, you finally find up on a high tower. You actually see a red glow from behind the cracked door as you enter it. And you open, you actually feel the crack. I gently knock and kind of creak it open. Excuse me.

That would get spiley. As you knock, your huge knuckle pushes the door and creaks really loudly. Good morning! You feel the whip of wind as you realize that this is a room that basically has a large balcony out into, that's fully exposed. And you can see the whole valley sprawling out thousands of feet below you as you enter

this large room and there are blocks of stone and marble, all sorts of carving tools, as well as strange alchemical tools and devices. And you see Escher, he is in what looked like writing leathers. And he...

He calls you. Did I say that out loud? Yes! Careful, Icarus. He says, "Well, I hope you got a good night's rest. Where are the rest of you?" "Oh, what do you ask? Are we ready to go?"

Well, I... was it just two of you? No, we were just checking to see how you were doing. I mean, unless we're ready to leave right now, I mean... Yeah, there was a little bit of unclarity on Wyn... Unclarity?

Lack of clarity on when we're leaving. We were supposed to leave at least two hours ago. As you enter the room-- We're still playing Candyland! Well, about that, I think they may have just started a game of Twilight Imperium, so we may need like seven or eight more hours. Oh, they're playing Axis Allies! No!

What is the Dracula board game? Is it just called... No, Twilight Imperium for sure. And as you enter the room, you see Escher. You see where the glow, the glowing red light is coming from.

At the very center of this room are five huge gargoyles that are standing motionless. They all seem to have the same general body shapes. They are humanoid-esque, but shorter back legs and larger front arms that they seem to be standing on all fours. Large bat-like wings from their shoulder blades. Um...

and tails that have slightly different variations, and you realize that each of them, however, has a separate distinct head, and there seem to be stone saddles that have been carved into them. And behind each one is a large, what looks like a crystalline canister with a shimmering metal filigree that's filled each one of these canisters, five in total,

is fastened into the ground and is pulsing with this glowing red alchemical fluid. As you now notice there are grooves in the floor running from each of these, where these canisters are fastened into, to all around these strange alchemical symbols all around each of the gargoyles.

And Escher is, as he stands, the wind whipping through the space, completely exposed to the outside, his hair majestically whipping in the wind, along with his coattails, as he is awash in this radiating alchemical glow, he looks at you and says, "Well, we're going to need the rest of you."

Oh, well, um... Yeah, go get them, Tawa. I'll stay here and... Yeah, there are probably optional rules to figure out if you run out of time who wins, so I'll be right back. And I start hustling back to the room to grab them. Very impressive. Did you make all? Ah, yes, I knew I had. Can I write one? Which one strikes your fancy?

"You made me mine in the Lord." Oh my god. Elmofty's dead when we get back. Oh my god. He looks at you, and there's a flare in his eyes. The vitality and youth that came to the Count. We didn't even know his name because we didn't even ask the dead guy's name.

Sorry. That's why it has so much vitality. The vitality that had washed him up instantly. As he takes a few steps and he is looming tall. This is a very tall man, vampire. And you see that the heels of his boots are also giving a little bit of a boost as well.

As you're standing by the door and he leans forward and he presses it closed. Well, if it's exes and allies, they probably still haven't said it off yet. We have at least several weeks of passionate lovemaking.

He doesn't say that. Enough time to fall in love, grow tired of each other, and fall in love again. Bring me the mouse. All right, Iris, that's the action phase. We're entering the negotiation phase. So what do I do next? Well, you have to choose whether you're going to play or not. I got a four on the little... Wait, wait, are we actually playing, or are we still setting up? I'm confused. No, I thought we were playing. No, no, no, no. We're merging all of the board games now.

We're gonna play them all at once. In order to determine who wins the combat phase, we're gonna play a game of Candyland. Every single time. I have 20 in and I feel like that's not enough. Not enough games of Candyland? I agree, which is why. Did I win with a four? No, you dropped back down to two, I'm sorry. I was at 39! Everything leads to two.

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Escher is standing over you as you say that, and he looks down and says, "It's taken a long time to get back." He says, "I have a very big castle." Who do you like on my map?

Are you willing to give me a... two? I really hope Loki makes a bag of my hair. It's Nikki.irons. I'll give you the... VIP package. I hope it's not expensive. I don't have that much money.

I've always had a thing for porn. I have another thing. No, don't stop on my account, keep going. Shoveling like mayonnaise. Uh-huh.

I had a big portion of salad! Instead of the meme in the comments of the guy eating popcorn, it's Andy eating a salad. It's a meat salad. It's a big portion of salad! I'm very full! I'm very full. This is horrible! This is terrible! This is horrible!

I have a spellbook on my face, so I'll go with that. Should be the only spellbook that's ever there, so I can follow the vampire. He looks at you, unexpectedly. You look so expectant. What? Why is this Mikey asking what? You look so expectant. Do you like what you see?

That's how I get laid. I feel like you picked me up from that one. Hold on, let me hide my magic cards. Alright, a little too close. Let's move on. We're playing D&D here, folks. This is serious business. And I'm Enos Al. This isn't about me, man. It's not about me. Let's focus on the hero here.

You know what they say... To a starving man, anything looks delicious. Didn't you just eat? We tossed him out the window, were you not done? I have a bit of a ravenous appetite. Maybe a sweet tooth.

He leans in, and you feel his hot breath on your neck now that... You have to lean very, very deep, because he is considerably taller than you are. And you feel his mouth just inches from your neck. Centimeters now. As...

I swear to god you just said fart beat. I heard fart beat. Is that his fart beat or are you just happy to see me? That's what I heard. I'm just saying, I heard it. Continue Mike. I read this book. I'm trying to do it in the form of a heartbeat.

Thank you. Thank you. What in the hell? I can't make a fart sound with my hands. It takes a lot of practice.

Kelsey's a master fart maestro. You can see her in the mirror. Come on, Kelsey. She's like, the textbook's spread everywhere. Diagrams of hands. Focus. Don't lose focus. You can do this. You've done this a thousand times before. Her entire YouTube history is fart hands. No. No.

As Mikey tries to remember what was said last. Oh! Sweet tooth. And he says, very softly in your ear. And you can feel, when you've been close to him before, that he was starving, that he looked cold and dead like a corpse. Now invigorated by the blood of this Shadar Kai, you can feel this paradoxical warmth. And he says, let's see how sweet you really are.

I go, uh-huh. Toa. Wait, so there's a lion on the box, but this is just a bunch of colored blisters. Three seconds. Blistics. I was at 22. 22, and what do you want to do for your combat phase? Are you going to pass or are you going to play a strategy card?

Oh, well, I... Toa, combat or strategy? Wait a minute. Where are the lions? Toa, what are you doing here? Why are you looking at this drunk guy? If I were in a prairie full of lions, I would do strategy. Oh, yeah, we're like three hours late, but I wanted to let you guys finish the game of Twilight Imperium. Three hours? Do you mean the cow is waiting for us? We're not even supposed to leave until tomorrow. No, we were supposed to leave three... Or maybe it was two hours ago. I can't really remember. Away from Queen Karzus! And I'm like... No, you missed all the games!

- I flip everything and put Jack's arm there. I'm backing up my book, shoving papers into my bag. - But I picked strategy and I'm a fund. - We don't have any time for this. We have to get down there. We have to go. - We'll play when we're back. - Where's Lufty?

She's just waiting somewhere in the castle, probably. Where did you leave her? With Esha. Oh, let's go! Then we're going to run. I grab my veal pack and I'm on my way. No, no, no, he was just ready to travel. He had his riding leathers on. His riding leathers? Yes. What did it look like to her? I mean, it was... Could you see the bloodless veins in his thighs? It was very form-fitting, if that's what you mean. Run! Run!

Smuggle a little salami in there.

- She wants a bath. - Ah, Kelsey! - You should be ashamed of yourself. Or not, I don't make the rules. - We're at Kibdasa levels. - You make your way back and you are running through the castle, Toa. You-- - I'm in the back, I'm like, I'm so confused. - Toa's gotta roll to see how quickly he gets there. - Well that's what I'm saying. - Your memory, Toa.

Yeah, well I'm like trying to direct them, but Iris is going so fast she can, you know, roll an intelligence check at disadvantage. Four hours later. I think it was this way. Oh, disadvantage? It's a four. None of you know where it is. Oh, I think it was this way. Toa now immediately forgets with the situation is so, he's so high strung now.

Nervous. So I'll keep-- continue. He's nervous and understand. You actually make it all the way down to the dungeon and you see Brutus trying to scrub out a blood stain. Oh wait, hold on, hold on! I know how I can find it easier! I could ask one of my ancestors to go to the room since I was just there! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I can look at the room! And I

So I'll kneel down real quick and I'll take out my figurines and place them and I'll say, "Could you please just show me the stonecutting room and try to help me remember where it is?" And I'll place a censer in the middle of the stonecutting room. How long does this take?

I would say, Toa, you're able to react however you would like to. So that's what I do. So now there's a sensor in the... You would see exactly what you expect. Toa, what do you see? Are they okay?

I immediately cut it so I can pick hearing and vision. So I did vision. I'm like, ah! And I switched to hearing. Ah! And I knocked my figurines. You're scared. What's the matter? What's wrong? Are they okay? Are they safe? She did. Ah! Ah!

No! She's alive! Yeah, yes. I don't know if it was blood or... We need to get up there and get to her! Leave the way! Come on, come on, come on! I don't want to!

Oh no, I know I still have to clean him all this blood, I'm just having as hard as I can! And I intentionally, now I'm intentionally taking as long as I possibly can. We just looped through here, you're taking us in circles! Um, you know, I could've... No, I think it's this way, just trust me.

You make several loops through the castle. As you then eventually find the room once again, Toa, and you take them to the door at the top of the landing. Okay, we should all, he told me that we should wait here. What do you mean? You said we were three hours late. Well, I mean, you guys were busy. Is that my fault? It took you like three hours to set the game up.

Is this the stone cutting room? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, this is it. Lofty, Lofty, Lofty, it's Iris, Lofty! Lofty, can you hear me? Lofty, Lofty! You knock and you don't hear any response. Is the door locked? You haven't tried opening it. Okay, yeah, I haven't. What? No, I haven't. I'm just knocking. Yeah, you're knocking and you hear and you don't hear any response from that. Lofty, are you alright? Venture?

One second! What's just going on? Oh, see, I mean, I think he's finishing his alchemical ritual, so to speak. I'm gonna swing open the door and just be smoking a cigarette. What? What is all the noise? Oh my god, I was so afraid that you were hurt. Toa put down his censer and he was watching you.

And he seemed really concerned. You seem incredibly relaxed. Yeah, it's something about this castle. So what was to him freaking out about? Who knows? He gets a little tightly wound. I feel like I could have him with this.

You enter and you see as Escher is standing by a table in the corner, his hair is completely messed up, where it had been just perfect, this perfectly brushed mane, it's now in every direction, and he's holding up these two vials, "Hmm, yes, alchemy."

Oh yes, of course. Ah yes, this appears to be alchemy. Nothing other than alchemy. Long night, Esher? Long night? Yes, yes, lots of work to be done. It's been a long time since I've done that much work.

You look closely, there's a bite mark on his neck. Yes, yes, it's an indication. Not quite fangs, but honestly, it hurts. Well, Toa said that we were really late this morning and that we were ready to leave three hours ago. We can go now. We're ready. No, I assure you, you were right on time. Oh, well, see? What was the big deal about it? What is going on with you two?

Why are you all out of sorts this morning? You're telling nothing but lies to us. I was just confused. I'm confused a lot, you know? I don't think he was intentionally lying. I think he's just struggling. You can tell us what's wrong. There's nothing wrong. I mean, I think we're just ready to go. And I was just making sure that, you know, you guys had fun. Did you have another nightmare? No. I mean, I've... You can tell me if you did. I won't tell anyone. I don't want to.

It wasn't a nightmare, but I did play Parcheesi by myself for two hours. So, next time you could have just woken me up and I would have played for you. You could have taught me how to play. I love Parcheesi. I did not. No, I was keeping watch. If you were awake, I wouldn't have been as alert. Oof.

Alright, well, fair enough, I suppose. You know, if I'm the only one playing, then I can keep my ears out and my senses... Fair enough. ...for any kind of danger or bugs. You keep yourself warm. I really like having a hard time managing it. That's what she said. Alright, well, we're ready to go. I mean... Is there anything else we need to do before we head out? No, I think we should definitely go as quickly as possible.

By very soon, I'm done with this alchemy. Okay. Good. Are our mounts ready? Yes, it looks like alchemy. Please don't do that to me. Don't do what? Don't scare me with your clout.

You cannot let Lofty know that she means something to him. Let me turn him off, okay? Oh. You do that, and you all see the same number of gargoyles, the five gargoyles all facing each other with each of the large crystal canisters filled with the glowing red fluid. And as your gesture to all of them says...

Well, these have been collecting dust for a long time, but I suppose that this is a good enough time as any to actually wake them up. There's a process to ensure that you are bonded to your new mount. Oh, right. And how does that really work? So, you must, each of them, to ensure that no one can sneak in and ride off with one of these things, there's a

Look into your soul, judge, to see if you're worthy to ride it. It's nothing. And when you attempt to bond with it, it judges that you are not the right match. It will smash you into a bloody mist. What? Like, so that's it? We choose wrong, we just die? Yes, that's exactly how it works. Which one is the most expensive? They're all the same, I think.

See, do you happen to have a bowl, a gem-encrusted bowl worth around a thousand gold pieces? I've used all of them. I was looking this morning. How much would you value this bowl?

I pull out the really toughen bowl. And consider that more of a dish. Shit. Shit. Well, shit. He ushers you all into-- Escher ushers you to get on with the fucking heist!

I had all of this for last month. Holy shit. Well, we've added like ten sashes of Neat Dog wings then today alone. Holy shit. As you see, each of the gargoyles, once again, is that same shape with the saddle and it says, well, these have been carved for a while and now that these were made for my friends and now that

You're my new friends, being as lonely as I am, you're the biggest kid who chooses. He looks at you and gives you a little bit of a sly wink, and bites his lip. You see a little bit of a fang almost pierce into the flesh as he gestures to each of the gargoyles.

And so he gestures to one that is a gargoyle that seemed to have this ogre-like face. And it has these large lower teeth and upper teeth that kind of curve off in different directions, and a large underbite. There's these wild eyes as well. And he says, "This one is Kanamo."

and he then gestures to one that has more of an avian face, it's almost like a raven, a raven's face. This beautiful creature is Lecivia, and he then gestures to another one that seems to be somewhat humanoid, monstrous, but it looks, these large horns, and it looks devilish, and it has this angry-looking face to it, sneering.

And he says, and he says, "This one is Cogsworth." And there's another one that looks reptilian, almost dinosaur-like, as it has this elongated snout. "That is Gerald." And there's one that is very lupine and wolf-like, and with these pointed triangle ears. And he says, "And that is Lupe."

Loopy. What was the first one? The first one was Kanabo. K-A-N-A-B-O. What did he look like? He looked like an ogre. Ogre type. With these strange teeth going in curving directions. But how are we supposed to know which one is which? Inscriptions. You can read them and make a decision yourself. I don't know you very well, so I can't make a determination. I'll walk up and read Kanabo's. Uh...

Kanabo says, "For the one with the commitment to protect family, friend, and home." Hmm. But clearly this is Taurus. Yeah, that sounds very Taua. And then you were able to read all of them. I'll just read them all off. Mm-hmm. Lupi says, "For the one with relentless curiosity that is sometimes ill-advised." That's lufty. Gerald the dinosaur says, "For the one with the desire to grow and transform for the better."

Oh, clearly, Helix. For Lecivia, it says, "For the one with the indulgence in all that life has to offer." Oh, that's my... And then for Cogsworth, it is "For the one with the commitment to seek out and destroy evil wherever it looks." There isn't one for me. You're pretty good at destroying evil. No, not really. I stand in the back and I protect my friends.

Well, but you, you know, you smite things too, with like horrible locust swarms and stuff. I'm really good at nagging and yelling at people who are mean. Bad. It's kind of like the same thing. But I don't want to be smashed to a bloody pulp if I pick the wrong one. I don't think any of us do.

Well, this guy looks like he could be, like, a distant cousin, so I'm gonna just go up to this guy, and I'll go to Carnivore, and I'll, like, I guess attempt to mount him. Oh, so we're doing this again. And Escher stops you.

And he says, that's not how it works. Oh, when you've made your choice, you're going to make your case to the gargoyle. I'm going to turn on the device. And he looks at you, Lufty. And then the gargoyle will make its determination. Do you know which one is Matt, or is it...

I don't know you know what? If you survive the process then you'll have a mountain we can fly through the skies of Scythrania. If you just happen to have five that have five specific traits, what if you have a group of five people that do not have those traits? Then they don't get a pair of wings or they get smashed into a fine mess. I didn't make these from you. So there's a chance that even if we get some of them right, some of us might get smashed.

So maybe we should think of a different way to get to the point. - I think that Toa should follow his heart. - I do not want Toa to be smashed. - I don't either, but if he does get smashed, then by process of elimination, we'll have... - Then I think that you should go first. - No, no, no. - Because if we're looking at this logistically, if any of us should be smashed, we need to send the person who is the least valuable through. You have deceived us.

Well...

I was going to choose the same thing Toa was going to choose. I mean, that's where I want to go. Over to Cannibal. And I do say all of that love, please. To Iris's point, I think that out of all of us, you've probably done the most growth lately. Thank you. You are...

Harm? Harm? He has done the most harm. But he's trying to fix it. Which is why I was still his friend. Right, so maybe you don't go for this carnival, but maybe a Gerald is more your speed. You have died before, so you are the one who's the most familiar. Well, I think that when Count Kreskov talks about being pummeled in the red mist, he's probably referring to an average non-Goliath.

Yeah, Toa's not gonna die. I don't think so. I can take a punch. Toa can destroy that gargoyle, no problem. I could definitely take a punch from one of these guys. My money would be on Toa. But, again, I still think that Caprice is more of a Gerald as opposed to a Conagher. You think so? I'm glad you're not going with Cosworth. Yeah, you're such a Gerald. So, what did Caprice, what did Gerald say? He's all about growth and transformation. I suppose he's an application of that.

Felix does have a point. So all of the things I said about you were pre-Desk Priest. Right. Post-Desk Priest, you've been a pretty stand-up guy. I'm trying. I know I need to take my lump, so if you want me to go first, I'll...

ask the group. Gerald's the way to go. I can make my case. But what if he punches you? I think he might explode your head like a watermelon. Let's look at it again. One of them was very clearly looking. Well, I think

There were a couple that Lufty could probably do. I think there was one that probably stands out amongst the others. Which one do you think, Phoenix? You're the smartest of them all. Oh, absolutely the one that involves indulgence and is very close to the word lascivious. Yes, of course! I only speak 13 languages, but I know that lascivious means the same in all of them.

That sounds like what lives in this DM. Don't forget Abyssal. That's not... I'm still working on that one. How do you say it? Oh, yeah. That was really close. Nice. I'm getting better. It's really... I'm in the wagon. I'm in the wagon. There's more of a guttural pitch on the ending. I'm still trying. Thank you. I appreciate all of you being so gracious. I may not be a big-brained Felix over here, but I feel like there's one that fits you extremely well as well. Looney.

Oh. Oh! The one about, uh, curiosity. You're Mr. Luringall. I can't disagree. Uh... And again, you don't have to be first. I'm willing to try. I think that fits. Oh. I've been told that I should wait. Law of large numbers. The same conversation that we had about which one of us should die if one has to. If we were going to take collectively a punch from a gargoyle,

You are the one that would not survive. Oh, I would definitely put my money on the gargoyle. If a gargoyle were to punch me, I would, my body would just... If you take the chance of who is the strongest enough person to take a punch, it would be Doa. Okay. I don't want to risk it. All right. If someone does have to die, it should be Caprice. I don't want to risk it. This is a very blasé conversation we're having about one of our very good friends' death. It's amazing, since I left Galtica, how comfortable I've gotten with dead bodies. Well...

You may have to get even more comfortable with one very shortly, but either way, step up and become the writer of Jerrold, I say. Do you know what you want, Kanabo? Yes, if you don't mind, I mean... Which one does that leave for me? I'm kind of with Toa. I've seen...

Yeah. A curiosity kills the kitty. You know. *laughs*

No. I mean, look at you. Don't not be this disgusting. Excuse me. Complete waste of a castle. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Why don't I just go and see what it's like?

I really don't want you to die, Toa, especially not if you spent your last evening playing a game of Parcheesi by yourself. Yes, as we are, sir. It was for the good of the group. I know how you resolved this. Who has, over the past 24 hours, had the most fun? I did enjoy myself playing whatever those games were. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I kept one of the D6s just in case we want to pretend. I don't really know what fun is.

I think the last time that I had fun was when I ate ice cream all the way back in that

small little village. Oh, we got sundaes! Yeah. And we had a pivify! You got sundaes in a village and you didn't get any for the rest of us? It was so long ago and the rest of you were in a cave and some of us got to stay at the inn. You left us in a cave? You don't remember that? Only some of us were able to go back and then there was ice cream. But that was when we all came to the tavern. We were all there, we just had different rooms. And honestly, I wasn't really even able to enjoy it. I was so guilty about the whole thing. And we didn't really know you very well. Like, that was like day two.

Maybe three. It was... Well, to be fair, it was really good. That would probably be the last time I knew anything about fun. To be fair, it was really good. You see Escher step in front of you. Is that really the last time you've had fun? No.

Yeah, probably. I mean, we've been through a lot of really horrible things. You pull a thing and it runs a finger along your cheek. Stop. I'm trying to tell a story here. Don't waste your time. I've been after that one for a while. My brother's been missing. It's been a really harrowing experience. It's been a really harrowing experience, as I was saying. Anyway, I think Loopy's the one for me. And I'm willing to take the risk...

I think it'll be fine. In fact, Toll will protect me. I will go. If I have clearly had the most fun out of all of us, then if one of us should die, you must protect my soul. I went out having a lovely 24 hours with my closest and dearest friends. So I will step in front of Hogwash, whatever its name is. Yeah, Hogswath. Yes, the one about smiting evil. And I will let him judge me, of course.

I think, I think, you know, we'll just have Toa stand by and he could probably save you. I mean, we'll definitely try to save you. We won't let this thing kill you. No, I'm picking my fate. If I were to be smote into a bloody headmistress,

Is that what you mean? Don't you think I should-- If you'd like to see that carriage, let's see how it goes, shall we? And Escher walks over to the canister and there's a large lever between each one and he, uh, he grips it with both hands and he looks at it and he says, "Are you ready?"

I stand very close to Iris. Very close. I take a step back, but I do say, I believe in you, Iris. You'll know when to stop talking. And he leans forward. And you hear a...

As the canister begins to drain, as all the lines around the floor fill with this alchemical solution, then in almost an instant, a large transmutation circle appears, filled with its fluid and glowing, and it illuminates

this huge gargoyle named Cogsworth, as it then begins to rise up all of these alchemical designs all along the hide of this gargoyle. And then you see as it finally fills the eyes, as the eyes glow in this bright red, as then you hear...

as the creature finally begins to move and then leans forward. You see this devil-looking face now staring directly at you as it seems to be waiting for something. All right, Coghloves, be my guest. Are we having a staring contest? You have to make a case about why you are worthy of the inscription thing.

Why, worthy of inscription? Or to ride on its back? Well, of what it says on the inscription. I'm worthy to ride on your back because you're made of stone. This is ridiculous. I'm worthy to ride on your back, Codsworth. Because... I've seen evil. I've faced evil. And I've not turned from the light. For my friends guide me through. And my heart will always wait for morning. Now, with the wicked on your back,

You wait as Cogsworth leans forward and you see now it's this, what was just a statue beforehand, and not quite a breathing creature, but is now very clearly a living creature that leans forward, the mouth opens and closes, and as you finish it stops.

And then it leans down and you see that the saddle now is perfectly level against the ground as it leads you mountain. Do you have a side saddle? I don't ride this way.

Oh, whatever. I climb up on the gargoyle. You climb up on the gargoyle and you feel that there's actually two grooves for hands and they glow with this red magic. As soon as you put your paws on there, you feel this wash of alchemical energy and you get the sense now that this gargoyle will follow all of your commands and will follow it to the best of its ability and you now have a loyal trusty mentor.

Well that worked. Look at that! Good job! I think that was the riskiest one that might- that- I'm so glad! Who should go next? You see the tail with the spade at the end, flip around. Who had the second toast, huh? I mean, that's sort of a relative term. That's one person not dead. But who's next? When I go, what do you do to have a good time? Well, I always have a good time, everywhere I go! Yes, I can- I'm like a walking good time. Okay. Then talk to the guard boy.

The boys used to call me a good time gal. That's one of the things that's important. I'd like to add another Thor: Poor Day's star review. What? Did she cook you breakfast? Where does the stars come into play? So to speak. And he steps forward and grabs the, uh, which one I guess are you, are you standing in front of? Uh, Lasivia. I was already up. And he grabs the level. Are you ready?

When you see the alchemical solution, once again, fill that transmutation circle and rise up. Fill the raven-like head as the avian face stares into you as it leans towards large wings with a little bit of slight-less bat-like, with a bit of a feathery design as it stares at you.

I can already tell we're going to be best friends. I like to have fun, you look like a bundle of fun. We're going to... suck all the joy out of life. Ring every little bit. You and me turned into a story. What? And even you would be fine as a story. I think I could. Tell it.

Well, don't turn me into mist, but I could have fun as mist. You don't want to do that to me, do you? Can I get a word back? You're so cute. You see this bird face stare at you and lean in as the eyebrow hair of the bird furrows. As it leans down, I'm going to kiss it right on the beak. You kiss right on the beak, and as soon as you do that...

And it leans down. She likes it. The claw of my hands settles down and you're very easily able to mount the door. Bound up. Once again, those same hand holds. You feel like you're able to control this car well. Oh, I love her. Well done. Easy. Easy.

I have fun. I'm having a blast. I get to sing and dance and do all kinds of fun stuff. And I get to hang out with you guys. We just played three hours of setting up a board game. Great time. I think I'm ready. I'd like to go and walk up to Gerald, if you don't mind. Sure.

"I don't mind at all." And he steps over to the lover. "I guess your friends are right, you do look like a Gerald. Are you ready?" Yeah. He pulls it forward and once again, the reptilian dinosaur-like, the long, much thicker tail with spines down the back of it, as it then leans forward,

and looks at you expectantly, you see that there's very, not sharp, 'cause it's a stone, but very prominently carved teeth in its mouth. - I give you a deep bow. Hi, Gerald, my name is Capriccio De Sesto. It's a pleasure to meet you. You can call me Caprice. I don't know if you could hear anything before you were animated by this red boot.

However, my friends tell me that, you know, I am good at transformation, growth, that I would make a good Gerald. I turn into a Commodore, you can call themselves. But I can be all sorts of things. I turn into a lizard folk, just like you, reptilian style. I am a king of transformation. I'm bopping myself through a variety of different characters. But you know what? That, uh...

That's cheap tricks. That's just an illusion. The reality is that very recently I passed through the first veil and came back from the other side. And to be frank, I have been very much reborn. I no longer wake up with existential dread in the way that I used to. I feel great burden off of my shoulders and I'm here for it. It's just, my heart sinks. Gerald, what do you say? You want to be my mouth?

There is no hesitation as Gerald leans forward and rests down and is effortless for you to hop on on his back. I jump up and I... Oh, it's a little pokey reptile style. All right. And then...

And Asher looks at his own to be able to wake up without existing to prayer. I feel for you, buddy. I feel for you. That's three out of five. Well done. I must say I'm slightly surprised. Who's next? What are you saying? What are you thinking?

I think you should go so I can be ready just in case you get punched in the face. Well, that is very generous of you and something that someone who protects their family, friends, and home would do. Wait, can you read that one more time? Something that someone would protect their family, friends, and home. Carnival isn't animated yet.

He's just been taking notes. It helps if he studies. I'm just trying to... The inscription's really squiggly and swirly. It's a cursive? Is it Welsh? Oh, Welsh. Is it the same thing as cursive? I'll be honest, I don't really know. Is it Welsh or Gooch? Gooch, Gooch, Gooch.

Alright, here we go. Alright, Loopy, that's me. Alright, here we go. Voluntlessly curious, that's absolutely me. I'm ready. Escher, fire it up.

"Will do," and he leans forward on the lever, and the alchemical fluid once again forms that circle and animates this lupine creature, and it's a bushier tail as it leans down. You see the fur-like design on the wings as this wolf-like head stares directly at you like a predator. All right.

all things considering that have happened in my lifetime, I still consider myself pretty lucky because I've always had my brain. And because of it, I've ever since I've been able to read, I've learned like 13 or 14 different languages and every single day I learn something new and I've devoted my entire life to studying and learning and trying to cram as much knowledge into my brain as I possibly can even in the short few years that I've been on this planet. But

It's not going to stop. I promise. I know. And that until the day that I can no longer breathe, that I'll continue to learn and pick up new things. Because there's always something new you can learn every single day. And that's what I've devoted my life for. And then hopefully using that knowledge to save some people.

You see it leaning forward as if it's attempting to smell you. As soon as you finish, it then kind of, the tail starts to move back and forth a little bit. And then it...

It looks at you expectantly as it lays down. Ha! That's it! Look, easy as that, we can do this, right? And the best way to learn is just try things, because you never know what's going to happen. And I will jump on to look his back. That's awesome, I'm so glad! Wait, what if I pick wrong and there's only one left and it's not a good fit?

What happens? I mean, you're not gonna... something like this isn't gonna hurt you, and even then, I think that we have full command over these things now, and I can make my gargoyle mount destroy that one before it hurts you. You look close enough to Anoni, I'm sure it'll be fine. Alright, okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. And I'll walk up to, uh, to Karabo. Kanabo. Kanabo.

Sorry. He leans forward, and it starts to get illuminated. You see the ogre-like face close with difficult, strange curved teeth that it has, the tusks and fangs, as it then leans forward, definitely the biggest of the lot, and much more muscular. It lowers its head at you, almost menacingly. I'll ride up.

My name is Toa. We both look like rats, kind of. You know, sort of just, you're made of stone and I have a grey skin. Do you speak Ogre, I mean, Giant? Not Ogre, Giant, well, Ogres speak Giant, but do you speak Giant? I could speak in Giant if that would be more comfortable for you.

I look for any sense of recognition. Not in any sense. Oh, well, okay. And I'll take my block and I'll say, well, I think that I would be a good partner to take flight on your back because I love to protect my family. I love to protect my friends and I love to protect my home.

And I already did that last one. And sort of the first one, and I'm kind of in progress of doing that middle one. Let's hit the second one. There's a delay. As the Overlike phase... ...moves...

ZARRRR! He was supposed to be COGZWR! Five minutes later, Harry's brother shows up. Hey everyone, I'm Molo. As the oni face looks at you, it almost looks mask-like from how it's carved on the head of this gargoyle. It hesitates and leans forward, and then very slowly...

It lowers. Thank you, this is a great honor and I will respect any boundaries you may or may not have as I ride you into possibly battle. And I'll just, I'll like climb on them. And just like all the others, you feel like you are in full control of these mounts as Esher stands back

And there's a look that he has as if his stare lingers as he watches all five of you atop the

these gargoyles, they begin to move around and you're getting a sense of how they work. And it's a little bit of an awkward gait that they all have as they move around, but you all get a sense of it as the wings unfurl and flap a little bit and you realize how, despite these massive constructs, whatever kind of alchemical magic, the amount of lift that they're able to get with each movement

beat of the wings actually lifts it into the air quite easily. And Ezra just stands and stares and he... he's... there's actually a smile to his face that you haven't seen that level of warmth. It seems a bit surprising given that you guys are riding gargoyles. And he takes a moment to take it in and he just nods and says, "Well, I'm glad they're no longer collecting dust." "Are you all ready?"

Yeah, I don't see why not. No time like the present. Let's go. What are you going to ride on? He whistles and immediately into thin air, Becephalus appears, floating in midair,

Have we seen Bicephalus before? Yes. We did. As Bicephalus, this horse-like face that really isn't a horse, but then as you realize it looks more snake-like and fiendish as it stares at all of you with this malevolence and as it chops. Bicephalus, no. These aren't friends, not food. As eyes like you, don't worry. You'll grow, man.

as he leaps into the air, does a flip and lands on Becephalus. And you realize now that there is, that he has all of his travel bags with him slung over Becephalus. And he looks towards the door of this, of this balcony room and he says, "Brutus!" And it booms out magically. And you hear,

I don't even have lungs, I don't know why this is happening! As the door opens, as Brutus appears, and Escher looks at him and says, I don't know how long we'll be gone, but you know that you are in charge while I am not in the castle. Make sure that the

that these stone waters are keeping extra high alert. I made sure that we are extra fortified, but if there are any problems, you know how to contact me.

"Yes, of course, master! Anything you say, I will run a very tight ship. Well, no, I won't run a ship, because it's a castle, we're very keen on a ship. I've never been on a ship. I only know from what you put into my not-brain about what a ship is. You don't have to worry about anything, master! Goodbye, have a lovely, lovely trip! I'll make sure there's a whole feast when you guys are back! Have a good one!" And Escher just sits and listens and just nods at him and says,

"Take care of yourself, Lucas. Friends, we fly south." And with a horrifying whinny, Becephalus... That was great! Becephalus lets out this booming fiendish sound and immediately starts galloping through the air as Escher takes off and pulls out a...

a parasol and holds it over his head as Becephalus rockets through the sky. Somehow the parasol does not get immediately ripped out as he holds it. Just before I start to join, I will turn up. Brutus, leave our board games where they were. We may still be able to recover and pick back up when we get back. Oh!

And you see absolute horror come out of his face. Oh, I wasn't supposed to pick up all those pieces and put it away? No, leave them exactly where they are, and if you see anything out of place, put them back exactly where they should have been. Yeah, okay. Oh, dude, I won't touch it. I certainly haven't already cleaned it all up. Certainly have not ruined your game. Thank you. Um...

I'm ready to go. We're just following Asher, right? Yeah. Come on, let's go. No time like the present. All right. Here we go. Remind me not to become an alchemist. This room smells like garbage. Whoopi, away! Yay!

As you all take into the gloomy skies of Sceathronil and begin your journey south, you all take off from Castle Remornia and leave it behind as you soar through the skies of Sceathronil. And...

It takes a little bit of getting used to, but after several hours of flight, you get adjusted to riding on the backs of these huge gargoyles. And despite their size and then being made entirely of stone, they're surprisingly fast.

As you travel for hours, you see the distance of valleys and mountains, castles off in the distance, small towns around them. And you occasionally see a vulture rider off in the distance. And Eshrel will tell you he'll be back in a second. Disappears, he goes invisible. And then off in the distance, you see the vulture fall.

followed by, you hear a scream as the body of a Shadarchai falls shortly after, and Esha returns with blood dripping down his mouth, and you continue on your way. It was like a Wilhelm scream? Yeah, exactly. Like Boba Fett into the Sarlacc pit style? Yeah!

It's impossible to impersonate because I don't think it's like a real scream. It's very difficult to do. It's like... Yeah, it's hard. We need a soundboard. You travel all day and you eventually have to make camp.

for the night. And Escher invites Lufty to help find firewood. Oh boy. How do I look like to you? Don't you have servants? And... And...

Escher will look at you, I guess. You're all at camp now. We want to roleplay this. And he says, "No, I'm gonna fire wood. Fire wood." Hey Toad, do you want to go get firewood?

Yeah, sure. Yeah, do it. I'd love to get firewood with you. It's been a long time since we've... I like stupid men, but not stupid... We go prancing off into the dark woods together. We're like skipping along to find firewood. Oh, this is a good one. Oh, that's a good find. Here, let me see what I... Look, this one kind of looks like a snake. This one's going to burn for hours. Nice and dry.

You eventually, unless there's anything you'd like to do, you find a spot that's pretty protected out in the wilderness and you're able to make camp unless there's anything you'd like to do. Just collect firewood and then burn that firewood. Collect more maybe, if we run out. So be it, you know? So be it, yeah. I'd like to follow through on that one. You do that.

You take off the next morning. Oh, we get a long rest? You get a long rest. It's great. I used a lot of resources right now. Actually? No. I'm still getting a long rest. Because of my immersion. No. No, we didn't do shit for an entire day. We literally did nothing. We just fucked around.

As you fly all day, and once again in this gloomy land of Skaffronil, it's sometimes hard to gauge where the sun is because, and what time of day it is, besides just the slightly, basically how light gray it is. It goes from lighter, dark gray to light gray to dark gray to night.

And you continue to fly for many miles and you're able to avoid the gaze of the vulture riders. And when there is a vulture rider nearby, Escher handles it and there he is with him. And after what feels like you've been traveling all day, you finally see

these large mountains looming over you, and you see that there's two massive mountain peaks, a good number of miles in between each other, with smaller mountains forming a bit of a valley. As you turn around, you get a view, and you see something that you haven't seen, you realize now that you haven't seen since

who came here to discover the sun. Interesting. And you, as you fly, you see as the, you see a bit of orange and red and pinks and violets of the sky at sunset.

As you turn around the bend, as you curve around this bend in the mountain to get a look at where you're headed, and you see that there's a ring of clear sky and sun shining through, the colors of sunset painting the entire space that you can see. And as you look down past the ring of mountains and highlands,

You see where there had been these dense dark green forests. What looks like now to be a ring of gnarled black dead trees that form the outskirts of a valley that make a ring around a forest that's grown throughout the entire space of the valley that seems to be entirely bathed in the sunlight of the light of sunset.

And as you continue to approach, you see the shimmering of golds and reds below. As the entire valley, besides this ring of black gnarled dead trees, is absolutely filled with these huge, brilliant trees of red and gold glinting in the light of sunset. As you see a large castle at the far end of the valley rising up

and it looks like a verifiable city built into the moors that surround it. And as you fly forward, Escher turns to you and he extends an arm and says, "Welcome to Berlovia."

I know it! As you draw nearer, you see that there's an incredibly large lake and there's two massive mountain peaks that seem to flank each side of the valley. And you see that towards the one side, it's...

It's, despite the time of year, it's covered in a dense snow color. And despite the temperate force of the valley below. And as you approach, the ring of clear sky never dissipates. As the light slowly disappears and sinks below the ring of mountains, and twilight falls over the valley.

Just a quick question. Do I get the sense that Scepternell and Barovia are like neighboring states or that Barovia is a county of Scepternell? The latter. Okay. The latter. A literal county. Okay. And you see now that as the sun sets, you see the small villages throughout this forest of reds and golds.

as the light seems to bathe only this one count, as Esher starts to descend on Micephalus. And he gestures all of you to follow. And he calls out as he rides, I don't think that they'd appreciate us dropping in. We should, you should proceed on foot.

Oh, so do we just like right here and we walk, are we going to the big castle in the middle of the city? That was where I was aiming, yes. As you skirt the valley and you see that there's a wistful look to Escher as you all descend as night falls. And Escher stops right at the tree line

of where the forest of gnarled dead blackened trees stops and borders the brilliant forest of red and gold leaves. And he stops and stops you. I think this is where we should camp for tonight. Um, I guess it's late. I think that's fine. But we're so close, we can see the castle!

Yes, we can. And Escher dismounts the Cephalus as he looks into, he looks up at the treeline, those golden red trees, and he takes a few steps and looks down at his feet. I haven't been home in so long. I don't know if I can enter. This may be where you have to move on without me.

It's not, it's not, it's night time. You should be fine, right? There's no sun right now, and maybe we could just, like, stay shaded during the day. Toll purposes. Hallowed. All of it. The entire valley. Wherever these trees grow, it's hallowed ground as their roots grow deep, and the branches grow tall. And I am the creature of the night. Do not believe I am well thought.

Is there a way we can test that theory without risking you or anything? Or is it sort of an all-or-nothing type deal? No, what happens? It's a very painful. And as you all land in this mountain, you see now that this strange, spooky forest that you've landed in, these trees seem to have these sunken, wailing faces. And they look familiar.

You have first encountered trees just like this in Erius, in the grove of the Cult of Garrix. And you see that there's, at each one as you look around, that there seems to be a hole bored in at the base of these trees. And they seem to be hollow and sunken and brittle.

Despite that, the trees, even with their bare branches, form a darkening canopy. As Escher looks up at the tree line and says, I am not sure. I could always just write, without further introduction, just be here to communicate. And that was going to be my question, was if we have to go on without you, what do we say to the Count to convince them to be on our side? Well...

"Tell him everything. Everything that we've seen over the past several days. I'm sure that if he knows what is coming for him, it's a good thing that he seemed to have arrived before the Vorelockians made his move. I'm not sure how much time we have." "Can he make a move if this place is hallowed and protected with sun and polydynic times?" "That's a good question." "I thought I was protected too."

I do not know what the nature of the extent of the power of the Carian King, especially every week and month that goes by, his power grows, it seems. And the creations of my little bat keep getting more monstrous and vile. Well, then, yeah, if you could write us a letter, and we'll be real quick. We can sleep tonight, and then we'll just go straight to the castle, and we'll beg for help, and then hopefully we'll ride out of here with the whole army.

Yes, yes, that's a good plan. I do see that. Oh yeah. You all look and you see into the forest of trees of red and gold. Off in the distance you see a light that seemed to be flickering off in the woods. What is that? Is it in the Holied? Hallowed Woods? Yes. And we're not near any of Holied Village, so that's what we'll be off, right? Yes, yeah.

Is that a person or is it some kind of... What would they be doing all the way out here? It could be anybody. It could be some sort of the county's guard. I mean, we just... We don't know if it's good or bad. Just... Let's just see what happens, I guess. They must know we're here. It could be maybe like a ranger, you know, just keeping up and maybe collecting some texes. What's a texas? No, texas, like... Yes, which is Texas. Yeah.

It's like when you have to give a portion of your money to the count of the county that you live in and then he has to give part of that to the king. Do you need taxes? That's what I said. Yeah, like a tithe. Taxes. I don't understand how you pay with taxes. My point is that he probably means well. And we can explain the situation and maybe he can give us an escort tomorrow. Do we need one?

What? I mean, he might know like a shortcut or like places to avoid, although I mean if it's so holy maybe there are no places to avoid. It might be easier to get audience with the Count. We have someone who would, you know... Let him in. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't seem to be listening to what you're saying. He stares off into the forest. Just like, at the light? Yes. Yes.

Alright, do you wanna go? Yeah, let's go. How dark is it? Night fell very quickly. I'm gonna just snap my fingers and create a little flame and like... You do that. And the flame... Because I don't want darkness, I'm very blind. As... I just hold my hand up as I walk forward. Totally ahead of me. You step forward and you make it about 50 feet in.

And the light continues to flicker, but you don't seem to draw any nearer to it. It seems to stay at the same distance and move through the forest. And you look back and you hear Escher's voice call out. I think, I think it's calling to me. Like, do you hear it? What does this mean? I hear, there's a guy, I don't know.

I'm going to try to step across the threshold. - Is that a good idea? - Yeah, I don't know about that, Escher. Can we still see him or is he like, how far away is he? - He's about 50 feet back. - He's not that far, okay. - No, he's not that far. - So the three of us are in the woods following the light and yelling back to Escher, but the two ladies are with Escher at this point? - I don't know where the ladies are.

I would have been walking with the police. I would have been walking with the police. So I would just be like turning around back towards him and just say, I don't think that's a good idea. You already said it could be horribly painful. Yeah, stay there. It's not worth risking it. We're okay. If there's one thing I know, but don't follow, when something is tempting you, it's probably a bad thing. Might be fine, but probably bad.

Do as I say, not as Lufty does. Yeah, that's good. We should have roidered that somewhere. We'll figure it out. You stay there. And you can just see him just very, very, very faintly in the light of moon. And you realize now that the moon's also mostly been clouded this entire time. And you just see his silhouette, and then you see a leg rise.

and he steps forward. Oh no, come on, dude. Into the forest. And then he takes another step, and another step, and another step. And in several moments, he approaches you. You hear the rustling of the underbrush as Escher joins you, looking around. You all right? Do you feel okay? I feel fine. It's not me, Matthews. This forest is no longer hallowed.

Maybe you're not a vampire anymore! Oh, that's so amazing! Congratulations! I think it's much more likely that the Count's county is no longer as safe as we thought it was. Are you still a vampire?

Yes. We should probably hurry. And I begin to hustle through the forest with the little flame that I have. You see the flickering lanterns going off to the left. And Esher says we must follow it. Are you sure we don't want to just head right for the castle? No, there's a reason why this flame is here. Okay. And I start to veer towards the lantern. Is Gerald and the others going to be okay? Yes, they'll be fine. Persepolis will keep an eye on them. And...

You keep making your way through and you see that as you approach and get closer to this light, it never gets any nearer and it continues to move through the forest as you follow this light that looks like it's someone holding a lantern guiding you through the forest. Oh, hold on, Felix! I can't see very well! Alright, alright, alright, what?

As you continue to follow this light, Escher is walking alongside of you, looking towards the back. And as you continue to make your way, you, priestess, continue to follow. And suddenly he's in the lead. And his eyes are wide. And he says, no, I think that these forests still have a

He looks down at his own feet as he continues to guide you as you follow for what feels like an eternity until you suddenly emerge into a small clearing and you see what looks like a lantern flickering in the center of this and suddenly it shimmers and fades and the light disappears and Escher takes a few steps more and looks around. What? Where? And then...

You feel warmth as the cloudless night reveals the large moon shining down in the light. And you hear a voice around you. It's not too loud, and it's not threatening, as it seems to be centered around Escher. The first step, or the millionth step on the path to redemption,

Both equal. Both are equal. A creature of night that is an ally of light. And the little friend is welcome to sit down. And then it fades. As Escher stands, his eyes are wide. He looks up at the meteor. Yes, you have that. What was that? Is everything alright? What was that? Some kind of ghost?

Everything is alright. This land is under care and in good hands. Oh, hell, hi. Pretty good. And you now see the power of lights. As you see a very thin tree line of this forest. As you see the light of villages just on the other side. As you

We've arrived through the forest to the valley of the Roguen. Well, yes, whew. I was worried it was something bad there. Sure, we're okay. We're all, everything's under control, right? We're good. We made it. Are there normally spooky disembodied voices? To be fair, Toa, that's probably one of the least scary things that we've encountered in our time together. It sounded like we were all welcome. Yeah, it was a good thing, right?

Yes. Yes. We are welcome here. There is power here. The voice that you heard was the goodness of the forest. Do not be alarmed. I... We all are. Well, then let's go. Let's not give it, Ali. Right. I agree. We need to get to the castle and we need to see the count as quickly as possible. Yes. Of course. And he guides you...

out of the woods, the tree line now behind you. And you see now that this village is still filled with these trees of leaves of red and gold. And you see that there's the flickering lights of villages through the valleys. You see farmland. You see far off a vineyard by a tall hill. And all nestled

between these two huge mountains and the smaller mountain ranges along it. Something crosses above you, casting a shadow beneath the moon, and you look up and you see what looks like a small raven flying overhead as it circles a little bit and then flies off. Escher looks at all of you and says, "I think we should perhaps stay off the road. There's enough drama. Too much attention to ourselves."

I'm not sure if Alexei is going to even want to see me. Alright, if you think that's for the best, that's fine. Well, if the forest was okay with me, why wouldn't Alexei be? Well, I'll come for you. Everything will be fine. Well then, if you... I mean, you can lead us now. I mean, if this is your home, do you... I mean, is it still familiar?

It is both familiar and unfamiliar. 200 years is a long time. But I know where to go. The castle is not that far. You see it looming, tall above you. You get the sense that it's probably a several hour walk to get to the large sprawling town that's been built into the moor that surrounds this castle. And you make your way, and you occasionally

see a little bit of movement off of these sleepy homesteads as one by one the lights dim as this town starts to settle in for them. You walk for probably another two hours undetected and then

You feel as the ground beneath you starts to rumble and you see a dust cloud off in the distance from behind the hill. A dust cloud? Dust cloud. A large dust cloud that continues to move and get closer. As you then hear the rumbling, thundering of hooves, sounds like thundering galloping horses.

Approaching them. Oh good, they've sent carriages for us. It must be some sort of guard or some sort of night watch or something. Alright, well, you can explain the situation and you can just, you know, tell them what's going on. Yes, of course. And you see that Escher seems to be a little bit nervous. There's a bit of trepidation in his voice.

As the thundering of the galloping grows louder and louder, and then from around the hill that you are, around the hill that you're approaching, on the road that you're staying on the outside of, you see a dozen horses galloping in your direction. And you see the glinting of moonlight off of

the shimmering plate armor of a dozen knights atop. And you see that one is carrying this standard of a rising sun, as there seems to be one that had with the most decorated horses, as they be in the thunder forward. And

They are probably about 500 feet from you when Escher steps out into the road and raises his hands. I suggest you all do the same. Of course. I raise my hands and one of my hands still has this flame in it. And the line of galloping knights stops at you and

You can't even see any faces hidden beneath all of them. As the one at the lead with a very large sword with a gleaming golden event at its side rides forward, trotting, looming tall over you. The horse is huge. And this knight

is no small man. He... He leans forward as Escher steps forward. "My name is Count Escher Kreskov. I come seeking Count Alexei Von Zarovich to warn him of the dangers that is thundering towards Barovia. We mean you no harm, quite the opposite." And... You see the one at the lead steps forward and

reaches up and grabs the helmet and pulls it off and we see shining, shimmering blonde hair fall out at about shoulder length as a middle-aged man who is very strikingly handsome with strong features looks at Escher and then all of you. Well, you have found me.

My name is Alexey Von Zarovich, the Count of this valley. Oh! Oh! Hi! Hello! Hello, Count Von Zarovich. It's... We mean you no harm, and we have very, very important information to give you. It's a bit of a long story, but it's, like Toa says, very important. He looks at all of you.

And you see as he looks back at his knights and he trots up to Esher more closely. I will not recall seeking you in council or the presence of the vampire here in my family. But we have, you know the same, strange occurrences. I will hear you.

Thank you. That's fantastic news. We appreciate it. He gives a hand gesture to his guards and they begin to ride forward and make a circle around all of you as Alexei Vanzarovich rides up and dismounts. And he stands even taller than Asher. As Alexei

He looks at all of you and says, "I know Count Kretzkov and the alliance that he had with my ancestor, but I do not know you. You do not look like you are from... most of them. With whom do I have the honor of speaking?"

Oh, well, my name is Fiela Tacherman, sir, of Kesselfield from Corvacchia. Sir. You do look Corvacchia. That's right, sir. My people also came from Corvacchia. Many centuries. Wow, that's... I didn't know that. I'm from Corvacchia, too, sir.

Kirstein, I moved behind. Hi! Hi! He nodded, yeah. Hello. Hello! You do not know Kordokia. No? But we have been in our valley for many years. I do not know what Kordokia is like.

Well, I can tell that we're going to get on very well. So if you want to come back, I will give you a tour. First class. He just gives me very slow go at it. But we're not looking for Korovaki. They just happen to be from there. We're with him. I'm Queen of Asher and I'm Toa Kamanui. Some people call me Wind Chaser. Or

Nobody calls you that, let's be real. I mean, you guys don't call me that, but you don't know my friends back home? Sometimes they call me. I'd like to make an insight check, but I don't want to see if anyone's ever called me. I'm fucking making up. I'm telling you, my friends call me witchies. Can you believe it? What's your insight check? 29. 29.

13. He feels he's telling the truth. He feels he's telling the truth. He feels he's telling the truth. Word in character. I'm from across the sea. I'm from Magaltica. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. It's a great city. And yeah, I'm with these folks. We're here to help. My name is Capriccio Vecesto. You can call me Caprice. It's nice to meet you. You...

Look like you're out of place here. I don't look out of place pretty much anywhere. I'll tell you this. Shouldn't say the odd, but it is the odd story. Welcome to the road. I beat down, holding my tail in one hand. I'll step forward and I'll reach out my hand. I will say the same. Don't hold your head in this hand. In a fashionable order, just absolutely open your eyes.

and I'll bow my head, but I won't actually curse him. He will look at you and you can see that there is... And I hold out for my hand so he can kiss it, which is proper. He looks at you and he gives you a nod and he reaches down and he grabs your palm.

And despite the size of his hand, he's a very large man. It's a very gentle prick. And he leans down and his blonde hair brushes against your hand and gives it a kiss. Royalty. I will speak for you. You speak for your guards. Friends.

I lean into it. I'm like, why do we always get that? Guards, servants. It's never just, you know, people. We're never just along for the ride. I'm not like guarding and serving people. So it works for me. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying it's an interesting observation. I wasn't talking to you. No, I am. The adults are talking.

Maybe if you cleaned up your clothes a little bit, you'd look a little dusted. I take it back, not friend to guard. After someone makes a comment about my clothing, I just look deeply wounded. Guards and criminal. This is all starting to make sense. And yes, I am also a coward. And also, I'm dead. I respect the stories that have been sung about you.

Countress of love. But I will speak to the royal team in my presence first, and then we can discuss what we must. You look wise, my lord. So I ask you, what is death, the second day of the structure? In my faith, death should be the state where you no longer walk without the use of darkness. In my faith,

Simply put, there has been an attack on Count Asher's abode, Domseil, Count Franklin Court and Castle.

and a warning from the Carrion King himself, and your name upon his lips. He claims to be coming for you and your land, and though Count Asher feels that you do not have quite the connection he would hope, he could not turn away from you, and felt that though our journey lies further into this land,

that we must make a detour and warn you so you could protect your people and that maybe you would see it in your heart to care for those in this land by lending us your aid. My name? My honor. Whatever you can spare. We are capable. Myself and my friends. Tz'arikosa. Is that the place we're going? All these names are so strange to me. I don't know. Where are- Yes!

Thank you, Timon. Yes. Persuasion check advantage. I look at all of his guards and I like how they're standing and I like trying to match how they're standing so I feel like a guard too. Is it persuasion? 19. 19. He looks skeptical. The Carian King is attentive to

with revenge of my family for generations. What hope does he have now? What is... what is his plan? His plan we do not know of, but we do know that he may have acquired something he has sought. The Raven Child that he wishes to use. The Raven Child? Yes. Where did he acquire the child?

Upon our travels, we came across a band who believed they were working for him. Keret, a ninet, a coffin of a small girl. We rescued her and brought her to the castle. But the Kerian king was smart. He infiltrated the walls of the rooms and he stole her back. It was then that he gave us this warning. She...she...oh. Her name was Valeska.

I believe. Does that name ring true to you? Yes. Psst! She was understating. You may speak, Tilla. Oh!

Can I speak, sir? I mean, can't I? Toa, just speak. Oh, um, yes, uh, Toa, uh, lead dog here, um, and, uh... What's it? Do, uh, um, she, I believe, I believe, um... Toa, spit it out. I'm nervous. Uh, I believe it was mentioned that she was a Vistani. She was a Vistani, and she was from a Vistani camp outside of Vallaki, maybe?

See what she said? I don't know, all these names and places and people sounds the same to me. And she had a very bright blonde head, not too dissimilar from yours. My character looks at you. I throw him a Scooby Snack. And then turns back to you. Tongue comes out. I had been informed that I was a child.

They're saying that she's lost. Well, our hope... Our hope is to retrieve her. I know that I can only speak for myself, but I know my friends well. We will not rest until she is safe. That's right. He steps forward. You have good intentions. My God speaks to me. He tells me to trust him. Is that how you knew that we were, like, right about here?

Did you intentionally write out "Tameda" so it was a sort of a crazy coincidence? A leader who rules wisely, makes great alliances and he looks up and he sees three ravens circling over him. As he then turns back, I have eyes over him and that is what alarms me.

We've had several missing children in the past months. The houses and the bistroys that surround this valley continue to become more present every evening. The distant fire is nothing but the hills and the mountains. I had hoped that this was just because times were getting desperate beyond the edge of our minds.

Yes, that is what she told us. And she also mentioned that she heard a howl in the woods and she went out to follow it for some reason and that's when she was taken. The first time. Oh right, the first time.

She was taken a second time that I don't even remember hearing any howling. I didn't hear any howling. No, just the chittering of insects. Yeah, more like a... Did you actually do that? Yeah. Uh, Caprice was spiking his laugh. Derek laughed openly. He looks around his guards and then back at you and says...

You are welcome here in the mine, but I ask you to not speak of this habit. You cannot afford fear. You mean of the girl being taken or this meeting right now? The children being taken to the Zoroastrian. He's bad enough. The children are wandering from the woods being taken by the villains. No problem. You got it. But wouldn't they wander less if they were more scared?

Maybe you should scare them a little. Rio is an incredible motivator. I'll agree under one condition. This is your home and your county. I'll abide by the rules provided you give us all the information that we need to save these kids. And help us in any way in furthering that goal and making sure that these children get home safely. I am not sure if I can pledge my men and women pride

Oh, jeez!

We're just gonna cut that. Cut it? Did you not see the charred corpses of the ghouls in Shadar-Kai that tried to infiltrate? To be fair, we just kind of saw some weird trees. I didn't really notice any charred corpses. It's generally a thing I'd pick up on. You are lucky that your guide looks over at us here. Did not lead you astray. We are protected here, but there is something that is wrong.

With these days getting darker, the clouds encroach even on this blessed land. The howls and the fires, there is movement in the pack. They are waiting for something. Do you... Do you wish to stay the night? Yes, it would be much preferable to sleep in the woods.

No, we traveled a very long way. And I feel like we have a lot to talk about. Even if you can't lend us people, which we can hash out the details later, any knowledge that you might have is good. And a long talk might be helpful. He thinks for a moment and then looks at Escher. I believe you and I have to speak. Following up on our correspondences. And he steps forward and says, yes, of course.

I must ask you a question. Is the box that your ancestor had gifted to Victoria Isaacs, is it still at her residence? And he nods slowly. Yes, it might be right. Given that we are dealing with a raven child that our common foe had mentioned peering beyond the mists and piercing through them,

I believe it has parts to play. The secrets that she and I discussed her last trip before she passed. I would very much like to take a look at the box. Very well. You and I shall meet tonight. The mother of the child has gone missing as well. I would send my own men to look for her as well.

I cannot risk any more disappearances. The more the morale breaks, the more the hope fades and once hope is gone, you will have nothing left. We may want to weigh the walls or something rowdy in the distance. Oh, they've quieted themselves. Please, little one. Kreskov. Yes. Clonsar of Rage. You will come with me. My guards

We'll escort you to the Estonia camp. You will be welcome there. It's fine by me. So we shouldn't come into the town or the city? Are we not welcome there? I would prefer no bands of strangers coming under cover of darkness. That's a good idea. Go waiting in Don Moran, if you prefer. Yes, the light of morning will put people at ease. You understand.

Sure. Is there anything we should know about the Vassali before we meet them for the first time and try not to offend them and be generally good strangers, friends? Sweet their customs and each and every one of them respect and they will respect you. They are the ones that welcome strangers of all kinds. You will not be out of place there. Terrific. Escher, um, Escher like friends says, "I ride in with you."

Yes. You talk as he mounts his horse and Escher gets on the back of the warhorse and looks back and says, "Are you going to be alright?" "Yeah, we'll be fine." "I think we've escaped burning with that, so I'll go from here." "Yeah, it's pretty normal for us. Pretty good talking to people."

We must discuss our country duties. I think there may be hope here yet. I'll fetch you in the morning. All right. Good luck. You as well. And with that, Alexei and Escher join most of the knights as they ride off.

and one stays behind and gives you the directions to the Vistani camp nearby the town of Alake.

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