Ask Uncut - An Ick From The Aisle, A Suspicious Training Camp and A Cheating Boss
55:42 Share

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany and I'm thrilled to be here today. I am. I'm on a high. I had a great sleep. I'm feeling good. I woke up vomiting. Does that count? Okay, well I take everything back. We're like from the highs to the lows. I woke up vomiting and then I was mad at Matt because all I wanted was for him to like, he knew I was vomiting. He could hear it. He was downstairs. He was downstairs.

And all I wanted was for him to just bring me some water. But he just like, he's now so used to it. It didn't even register. He just cracked on with his day. But that's the problem. And I'm like, and all I was trying to do, sorry for anyone who's like a sympathetic vomiter when they hear that noise. And then I was trying to call out to him to bring me water, but I couldn't because every time I called out, I started coughing and vomited again. I was so mad.

I rate haven't calmed down yet. But it's also the thing that happens when it's, it becomes like, oh, that's a part of your pregnancy. You get morning sickness. Like I don't think that they realize how much it affects you. I wonder if other people experience this and it's absolutely not pregnancy related. It's any type of sickness related.

Does your partner have a limited time of empathy? Because I would say, and like this is, I don't want to criticize Matt because he is, he's really, really great. Like he genuinely is. But when it comes to like prolonged sickness, God forbid anything really bad happens. He's like level of tolerance for it. Like he's really good day one, day two, a little bit less good. Day three, get the fuck over it. Like you've been sick long enough now. You get three days. I reckon I get three and a half minutes.

I will criticize my partner. This is actually something that genuinely it still doesn't sit comfortably with me.

And the lack of care when I am not feeling well, he also claims that I'm like not feeling well all the time. And I'm like, yeah, because I'm a woman and that shit happens regularly. Yeah. My thing is, is like, I'll say I'm sick and he'll be like, oh, you're sick. I didn't know. And that's his response. Yeah. I actually think I'd have to be dying. And I give him some lenience because he is a doctor. So he does actually deal with people who have genuine emergencies. But that doesn't take away from yours. I agree. Yeah.

Thank you, Bri. Like someone is always going to have it worse, like in every capacity of life. That doesn't mean like you're not allowed to feel it. Yeah. The amount of times he's like, have a Celebrex or a Panadol and like, you'll be fine. What's a Celebrex? It sounds like a chocolate. It's a full on form of like Nurofen, I think. I don't actually know. I'm not a man. He's just drugging you at home. He's like,

I would also like everyone to know that this is not us endorsing any kind of medication. I was just purely curious because I don't know what it is. Yeah. Britt, what's Ben like? What's your timeframe window? Ben is actually brilliant, but we don't live together. So it's different. But I was just trying to think about it when we're talking about it. My migraines, when I met Ben, I wasn't doing Botox and they were every day. I was in so much pain every single day. And I would ask him to like,

For the first six weeks when I went over there, I asked him to massage my neck every day. And then at the end of it, I was like, I need to stop asking him because he thinks that I'm just being super needy. But he still would come out the next day and be like, how's your neck today? Do you want a neck rub? And I was like,

Oh, that's nice. But like we don't live together, so I don't know what it would be like. But he's a very empathetic person. I think that he would always be like that. Maybe if I did long distance, my husband would care more. Maybe. I was going to say, maybe you need a neck rub each day. Matt's new one is he'll go, oh, are you pregnant? Anytime I say anything, it's like a whinge about a pregnancy symptom. He'll be like, are you pregnant? I'm like, mate. Are you kidding? You have no idea. No idea. You don't even know. I'm raging for it.

for you. You grow a whole human in your body. And you know what? Like I said, I'm paying him out and he'll hate this, but he is brilliant. He just has a tolerance for it. It's like he's really good day one and then it kind of slowly fades. And so this morning whilst I was vomiting up my hole before I'd even had breakfast, I was like, fuck man, just bring me a glass of water power. Do you know something that I've just realised?

Also, I love you, Matt, if you're listening to this. No, we all love Matt, but be better. He hasn't listened to an episode in so long. What I have realized is I used to have not only my headaches, but really severe back and neck pain. And I always thought my headaches came from that. After I did Dancing with the Stars, it's gone.

I don't know if it like realigned my back or if maybe Craig threw me in some position where it cracked it back into place. But I've not had one bit of back pain since I did Dancing With The Stars. And it was all I thought about every day of my life before Dancing With The Stars. I wonder if it's fitness related or just exercise in general related. Like, you know, moving your body in a way that's different to how you normally move it. Yeah.

Stretching it in ways because, I mean, dancing does – this is the thing about when we were training for Dancing with the Stars. You find muscles in your body you never knew existed. It doesn't matter how fit you are. You absolutely – or you wake up one day and you're like, why is that – like, what is that? Where did that even come from? Yeah. When does the show start? I think next month, but they haven't actually told us. I imagine one day I'll walk out and it'll be on the TV. Oh.

So it's soon though. I think it's supposed to be the end of June. But they literally, when I say they haven't told us, I'm not faking that. They don't tell you. They decide, I think, only a few weeks out. Then they'll let us all know. But there is publicity gearing up for it. So I imagine it's on the way. But I almost forget that I did it. Has the full cast been announced yet? Or is it still? Yeah, it's all out. It's all out. Yeah, we did all the publicity. Yeah, I know all of that. Thank you. I'm staying up to date with the biggest thing in my life. Look guys, the biggest thing in your life is your

life is your wedding. Okay. I'm up to date. Dancing might be bigger. Well, we'll see. Look, you're here for Ask Uncut. Let's get into doing it. First, advise on subscribers. Britt, what is your vibe for the week? My vibe is, sorry, it's for dog people. So you have to have a dog. I mean, you don't have to have a dog. You could get it anyway. It is actually by the brand Dog. I don't know if you guys have seen it. Lisa is the... Dr. Lisa. Yeah, Dr. Lisa. She's a vet on TV. I think she might've taken over Chris Brown's

brown on Bondi Vet, like the TV show. Fantastic dog bags, like poo bags. Yeah. They're great. Little handles, thick enough. It's a really great brand. Actually, yes, the dog bags, people laugh. Dog bags are important because if they're too thin, your finger's going straight through or a stick is going through.

And you're getting shit on you. Yeah. Those are great. I agree. Also, no one cares if we talk about dog bags for a while, but like the bright fluoro green ones are too thin and they're so translucent. So you're walking around with a shit you can see in a bag. Whereas at least with the black ones, like there's some sort of, you just don't feel as...

Exposed. There's discretion. You don't feel as exposed. You don't feel like, yeah, such a street rat carrying a shit around your hand. So this is something that I've had for a while and I rethought about it last night. I have stopped varying Delilah's food so much because the vet told me that like just put her on the same kind of thing. So she has a mix of like this raw salmon patty and I mix it into a dry kibble every day. And I put it down last night and she just gave me this look that was like this again.

And then I remembered I had this product that I used to use and for some reason I stopped using it. Now it's called Dog Taste Boosters and you can get them in beef, chicken, fish, or like a variety pack of flavors. They're literally, it just comes in a pack of like a hundred or something. It's a tiny capsule that looks like a Panadol. You twist it open and you sprinkle the flavor over. So it

It just jazzes up your animal's food. You're seasoning Delilah's food. I season it like salt bae. I season it like salt bae and she loves it. And sometimes as she doesn't love her dry kibble, I'll put a taste booster on there. It changes the flavor for them and all of a sudden she'll gobble it up.

So it's a really good product and it's got really good things in it. Like it's not just a flavor. It is genuinely good for their gut. Yeah, I do love this. But I also love that Delilah, she just has such high expectations that she knows that if she stands off for long enough, you will do something to boost her food. Whereas like Buster's like, all right, I'll eat the cat food.

Whatever. It's really good. It's got prebiotics, postbiotics and parabiotics. So it helps with it. It's actually genuinely a really good thing for them. And if you need to give them medication, it's really good to hide the flavor of the medication and stuff as well. So that is, we'll put the link up obviously, but that is my vibe this week. If you want to, like me, jazz up your dog's diet.

My vibe this week is one of my favorite I think I've ever brought. It is the book by Sarah Wynne Williams called Careless People. Now, I listened to it on Audible, but I'm sure you could get a physical copy. Now, she was a former Facebook exec and she worked there for six years.

And this whole book is unpacking the things that actually happened behind the scenes during her time at Facebook. So she finished up in 2017. So it was kind of that period of time. You remember 2016 being called the Facebook election and that's how Donald Trump got in. She goes through what happened beforehand and kind of the ways, the really insidious maneuvers that the executives in Facebook come

kind of didn't pull. Like, I mean, the book is called Careless People because I've always had an impression that, you know, these things were done quite recklessly. I was still so shocked and surprised at the amount of like juvenile behavior and just lack of consideration of their power.

And it was so abundantly obvious. And I know that listening to this, you'll probably be like, yeah, duh, that the only thing that they cared about was power. But I didn't understand the layers to that and how bad it actually was. She also worked there, like I said, until 2017 when she was fired and they fired her for poor performance and toxic behavior.

behavior, but it was very coincidentally just after she launched an HR complaint against one of her bosses called Joel Kaplan for sexual harassment. And he was a former Republican staffer. I mean, I'm kind of giving you a bit of an impression as to what

went on behind the scenes. It was really shocking to hear about certain things like this woman called Cheryl who had this movement and this book and it was all associated with like motherhood and empowerment of women but behind the scenes it was the absolute polar opposite. Like when Sarah was on maternity leave for I think it might have been her second baby she nearly died in childbirth and she was in a coma she was in a really bad way and

And there were reports that she was difficult to contact during that time. So she's absolutely amazing. She's a Kiwi woman. She was a lawyer before. She was a diplomat before she ended up working at Facebook. And what I thought was the most interesting advertising that ever could have come up about this book was

was the fact that Facebook tried, or Meta, I should say, tried so hard to block the publication and the promotion of this book. They've also blocked her from distribution in the States of this book. Is that correct? They tried to block it. And I think they initially may have had some success, but that has been overturned. So you can listen to it in America. But from what I understand, she is still blocked from promoting it.

And she's also still blocked from going and speaking with lawmakers in other countries about the way that Meta actually operates behind the scenes because they don't want them to have that information. And the whole book, to be honest, the start of it took me a little bit to get into. There was just a little bit of a lead up. But once I kind of got into, you know, chapter six or seven, I really felt like I was just humming. And it's completely changed the way that I look at certain aspects of advertising and not

that I ever thought that they were moral. I just didn't realize how immoral it was. But you

But you remember, and maybe you didn't read it at the time, but a few years ago we spoke about like the original Facebook whistleblower from the Facebook files, Frances Horgan. So she, that was back in 2021. She copied tens of thousands of documents from Facebook and released them to the media. She went and spoke in front of Congress and the same sort of thing happened to her, but hers was trying to highlight profit over safety. And we ended up having that discussion here based on the fact of

Facebook meta having the information on how damaging it is to teenagers and young kids and ignoring it. Well, this was Frances. So she was like, I guess, one of the original whistleblowers.

And it's a shame because I feel like it shows you the power of meta on Facebook because it's sort of people forget. And even you reading that book have forgotten that she released thousands of documents on it. It just sort of gets buried. And also there was actually an interesting crossover with the interview that you guys did with Sean Turnell. And I know I'm going on a little bit long here, but I really was just so fascinated by different aspects of this.

Sean Turnell was the guy who was imprisoned in Myanmar for 650 days, I think it was, and he shared the most incredible story with you guys. But that was because the military coup happened and he was, you know, supporting democracy. So he was put in prison. It's really interesting understanding the ways that Facebook has

got the internet into Myanmar and how much control they had over what was, you know, released from those Facebook profiles of people. And kind of, I guess I was like, oh, this is so fascinating. I've known about the next part of what happened next and it's that the military took

over. Yeah. And it's also like how it influences politics and literally everything around us. That's what happens when you have a monopoly. And unfortunately that is what Facebook is. I mean, apart from the fact that there's TikTok now as well, but Facebook meta is a monopoly. They own everything. So the book is called Careless People. It is by Sarah Wynne Williams and you can get it. I got it on Audible or you could get the physical copy, I'm assuming from most places. I have a skincare recommendation and it's because I have had to do this

overhaul on everything that I'm using at the moment in terms of like what is pregnancy safe or what is suitable for my skin. I don't know, but like since being pregnant, I'm always a dry person, but like it is like 10 times worse. I'm so dry. I like a little prune. I literally am, but I really enjoy this. It's something I've actually used for a really long time, but since being pregnant, I have ramped up. It's a Weleda product. I don't know if you use Weleda at all. I've seen all the skincare.

Skin food? Yeah, skin food from Walida. It's brilliant, but it's kind of a fantastic all-rounder. So it's like the type of product that you can use on your kids. You can use it on chapped skin. You can just use it as a moisturizer. It's one of those kind of like almost like

I liken it to, you know, like papaya. What was the papaya cream or whatever it's called? Or the ointment. Papaya ointment. Is that what it was? The red thing? Yeah. That everyone got obsessed with. Poor, poor. Poor, poor. That's it. My brain couldn't. That's because you were eating so much papaya in your pregnancy. You're like dreaming about it. Papaya. Papaya.

The pawpaw papaya cream. The pawpaw ointment. It's kind of like I liken it to that. That kind of took over as like an all-everything ointment. And I think the Weleda Skin Foods is very much on par. But also like I find it probably –

I find it more usable. I really enjoy it. And I think that if the, where my skin has been at recently, it is like the most intensive version of what I need. And my makeup artist who I use, Jen, she puts it under makeup. Like she absolutely swears by it as well. So I think it's a great one. It's Skin Foods from Walida. They also have a fantastic range for like mums and babies as well. That's separate to this. I'm really enjoying it. It's Australia made and it's also all of the good stuff, like ethical certified, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Question one. I'm getting married soon and feel a bit icky about my dad walking me down the aisle. I'm not a fan of the tradition of being given away from one man to another. For context, I'm not super close with my dad, but we don't necessarily have a bad relationship. My dad is a good guy.

My parents are quite traditional. Growing up, my dad was the provider. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. So I really didn't have much of an emotional connection to my dad. He was always working. I know it will upset my parents if I tell them I want to walk down the aisle by myself. So I'm not sure if I should just suck it up to keep the

What do you think I should do? Can you not walk down the aisle with both of them? Like, do you have to just walk down with your dad if that's something that sits uncomfortably? I'm a bit confused about why you're feeling icky. Is it because you don't like the tradition or the idea of being given away? Or is it because you feel weird because your relationship's not so close with your dad? Because there's like two things going on concurrently here.

If it's more just that you're not that close with your dad and you were closer with your mom, I would walk down with both of them. And I don't think it means or it has to mean what it used to mean. So I'm obviously getting married soon. I am going to walk down the aisle with my mom and my dad. And there's no part of me that sees that as my dad giving me away or my mom giving me away. I don't correlate those anymore. I know that was the tradition.

But for me, I'm really close with my parents. I'm very close to my dad. And for me, I just see that as a beautiful moment to experience with my parents. But that is my perspective and the way I view it. But I think you can reframe it any way you want. It doesn't have to mean what it used to mean about

I've owned my daughter and now I'm giving her to you. So for me, this is what I do. I've reframed the whole idea of what a wedding is, what a wedding means. It doesn't mean to me what it traditionally does. I understand that, but I think it's tricky to kind of go down the track of being like, I've totally reframed this and therefore it means something totally different. I understand that that is what it means to you, but there's also going to be lots of people there

and it means to them something else. Like weddings are traditionally rooted in culture. They're traditionally rooted in, I would say, and not to get too serious, but like a very patriarchal sense of like a woman is being given away to the man from one father to her new husband, blah, blah, blah. That's the tradition behind it. And so...

I guess for me, when I got married, I had my mum and my dad walk me down the aisle because it would have been weird for me to just have my dad walk me down the aisle because my parents are divorced. I'm not closer to my dad than I am to my mum and equally as close to both of them.

They both co-parented me growing up. The thing that felt weirder to me is that I didn't have my granddad there. I always saw my granddad walking me down the aisle, my papa, and that was probably the most devastating part of my wedding was that he wasn't there to do that because he'd passed away by then. But you saw that. You pictured your granddad walking down the aisle to you because he's important to you, not because you think he's the man that should be handing you over and giving you to another man. You also reframed the meaning. To be fair, though...

Had Papa been alive, it would have caused some fucking issues in my family because then there would have been three people and that just logistically wouldn't work. He could hold your train. Like, yeah, yeah. Like, Dad, hold me from behind. Oh, that was weird. Maybe Mum should do that. Let's take that out. No, your Mum probably shouldn't do that either. I don't think anyone should hold you behind. Except for Matt. Oh, my God. I really regret everything. No, but I think, look, it's...

If you feel icky about it, I would suggest both parents. I don't think that that's weird. I think it's so normal now to have both parents. But if what you're actually saying is that you don't want anyone because you just don't believe in the tradition and you want something completely different, then I think that's okay and have that conversation with them. But I definitely don't think that you need to have the version of a super traditional wedding because clearly it means to you what it means to you and that's why you feel uncomfortable about it.

But yeah, I do agree with you, Britt, that like there's a lot of reframing that's going on around weddings at the moment, around like what a wedding means to someone, what a marriage means to someone. But I think if you have been brought up in a traditional sense, then it still has the original meaning. And so, you know, if you've been brought up Christian or Catholic or in a traditional family, even if you're trying to rewrite those meanings, you

The fact that your parents believe in it for what it is makes it really hard for you to say, well, this means something else to me and that's why I'm doing this. There's pressure. It's also how we change history. It's also how we rewrite the patriarchy. This is it. This is it by doing it and saying it doesn't mean this anymore. I'm doing it my way because in five or ten years, this will be normal. No one will even remember what it was. Of course, in your religion, if you were deeply embedded in that, it's always going to have those meanings and people want it to have those meanings forever.

also fine. Like I'm not here to yuck anyone else's yum. The world has changed quite a bit. The problem is though, is like, and I do what you said, Britt, about this idea that like, this is your moment to change the perception. Am I American? This is your moment. This is your moment. Take a bite of the balls. I guess the thing is though,

That sounds great in theory, but when it's your parents and you have to deal with the drama of your parents and you have to deal with their backlash, their feelings of hurt, their feelings of guilt tripping and all of that, especially when they have a perception about what your wedding should be, it's really, really hard. And I don't want to discredit that, you know, it's something that a lot of people have to navigate is the family politics around weddings. It's a

constant, constant question that we receive. And I think you have to be able to play it by ear. And I think the only way to answer this question is to sum it up yourself. Is this going to be so much drama that it's not like the juice is not worth the squeeze? In which case, then I would say make the decision to walk down the aisle with your dad. If it's going to be something that you can't live with because you're like, I

absolutely do not want him walking me down the aisle, then maybe explore the idea of it being both your parents or no one. But I think only you can make a decision that's best for you based on the drama that's going to follow from this. And that's a really shitty situation to be in, but it is not uncommon and weddings and marriages create a lot of this sort of family dynamic rift. Yeah, and I don't get the impression that it's anything about religion as such. You said they're traditional, but I think it's more traditional

You've said your parents would be upset if you wanted to walk down by yourself. Yeah. I totally understand that. Like it's a really special time to a parent as well to watch their child go through that moment. Me wanting both of my parents there is because it is one of my biggest moments in my life and I want them to experience that moment with me. It doesn't go further than that. I just think who, why would I want anyone else next to me? And I also don't want to be by myself. But I think if you do go down the track of

explaining to your parents that you want to go down by yourself. My suggestion is to really explain why gently, hear them out, but also give them another job. And I don't want to say a job, but something else that makes them feel really connected and special within the wedding. So I get that.

Yeah, like just give them something else so they feel like it's a big part of their day. They've watched you grow up your entire life. And I think sometimes we forget how much these moments mean to our parents. But I think it's just a conversation. You don't want to look back at your wedding. If you actually have the ick, which you've said I feel a bit icky. I don't want to say the ick. But if you do deeply feel that, you don't want to look back at your wedding and think back to that moment and have those feelings attached. So just work out how much it is actually putting you off. Yeah, I know.

I understand why there would be some parents who are sad by this. I really do. And I say this because, you know, if Marley was getting married and she just turned around and said, like, actually, I don't want either of you to walk me down the aisle, I would absolutely respect it. But there would be a little part of me that would be like, oh, I...

I really wanted to do that with you. You know, I really wanted to share that moment with you, not because it was making it about me, but because it's something that feels really special that a parent gets to do with their kid. And I don't want to make a gender that could be either parent, but there's something really, I don't know. I think I didn't really, really think about like how important it

the wedding would be to my parents and what it meant for them yeah I hadn't really thought about it at all but when I put myself in that position as a parent and watching my kids get married one day if they choose to like that's something that's really cool like you've made it through all this phase of life they've met someone who they love who hopefully is gonna mutually take care of them and it would be so nice to be involved in that in some way I

I just wonder if like for a lot of people, I think that there is a little bit of a deep seated and I might be projecting a little bit of resentment for certain ways that their parents were involved in their life. And if you felt that kind of like a, I just don't want to really have that.

I don't really want to have that moment. And so I would understand if you end up just going, no, I just want to walk down by myself because I just don't want to have to deal with the complexity of pretending like we're this really close, you know, family when we're not. Like, I just want to enjoy my wedding day as my wedding day. Even if there's not something that's been particularly bad,

You don't have to have your parents do that. You know, you don't owe them that necessarily. And I just think it's more about the authenticity of having that person next to you. Do you know what I mean? Like if you're not close, that can feel weird and that can feel like you're like, oh, I'm kind of pretending like we're all happy families. Yeah, I'm keeping up with the Joneses. Yes. And that's what I want you to unpack, whether you're going to feel that way. Because if you are, I wouldn't do it.

Yeah, I totally agree. Okay. Well, question number two, my partner has just left for five months to be trained in his soon to be career. I was obviously very sad that he was going, but proud of him. The week before he left, I noticed that he was acting a little bit strange and constantly texting somebody. I've never had an issue with this before as my partner is so loyal and so loving. When I was looking at something on his phone, a girl's name popped up. And when I asked him about it, he never said her name, just said, it's

it's the guys, quote unquote. It was a message from her about said training. So I had a look and found messages back and forth about how excited they are to see each other down at the training. Something didn't feel right. We had a conversation about how this made me feel and I was still left feeling weird about it all.

The day before he left, every time I looked at his phone, he was talking to her and flicking his screen up. So the messages went away. I asked him if he could not be so chatty with this girl and that I didn't like it as they were about to be spending months and months together and having very limited communication with me. I'm guessing he might be like in the army or something. I was just thinking it's got to be some army, navy. Yeah.

Should I bring this up again with him about how it makes me feel and that I would like for it to end? I want him to make new friends and focus on his training, but I can't stop thinking about this situation. I don't want to be constantly worried about this for four to five months. Yuck.

Oh, I don't think this is going to end well. I hate that. I mean, it might. Of course it might. But like, sorry. No, actually, no. He's not being honest with you. He's flicking away messages. He's lying about who's messaging. And you've seen that he said he's excited to see another girl. This isn't a weekend training camp. This is like half a year. It's like five months. Yeah.

I would be so uncomfortable with this. Like you are so valid in feeling uncomfortable about your partner going away with someone he's been lying about and he's excited to spend five months with. Also, look, this

This is a time when he should be giving you so much reassurance. Like you're about to go and do long distance. He's pursuing his career goals. You're supporting him in that. You are going to not be able to contact him as much as normal. It is crazy to me that this period of time, he is not putting his time, energy and focus into ensuring that your relationship is set up in the most stable way so that you both feel completely confident going into it. He's making an active choice, right?

to be so available to this person. And the fact that he's not being transparent with his phone, the fact that he said it's the guys when it's not the guys, I want to validate how you're feeling as well. I would be feeling exactly the same. The problem is, is I don't have a solution for you because I'm not at a point where I'm going to say,

break up with him because it might not be the case, right? Like it might be that everything works out to be fine in the five or six months when he comes home. But you'll also never know what happened there. You've got to be okay with that and just trust in him. Yeah. You have to have an immense amount of trust that this next few months you

you were kind of in relationship purgatory and you're opting for that purgatory as well. Maybe that's too harsh. Your relationship is not going to be able to progress at the same rate that it was progressing because right now he's prioritizing work goals. I'm not saying that you should break up with him. I'm not saying that you should not be monogamous or any of those things, but I do think you need to assess how insane this is going to make you feel over the next couple of months. Because if this is something that you're not going to be able to be okay with, you're

five to six months is a really long time to be paranoid. Like it's a really, really, really long time for you to live in this state of feeling hypervigilant, hyper anxious and unsure about what he's doing. Yeah. And obviously like I, you know, I don't have a problem with long distance. I was just shy of four months the last time I saw Ben. Like there is a long time that we would just online. So I'm all about it, but that works because I'm

I don't have anything, any uncomfortable feelings. I trust him. I'm not unsure about it. Like you said, you've got these off feelings. You think something's not right. This is where it's different. The other part is...

There's nothing that you can do. Like you said, I want it to end. Can I tell him I want it to end? You can't, unfortunately. I can guarantee you if you say that to him, it will push him away, probably push him closer to her. Like if you put those limitations and say you can't be friends with this person. The thing is, is he's already gone and he's at this training camp and he's going to be gone for the next four to five months.

I think you need to just have another conversation with him about how you feel. And he needs to, like you said, Laura, he should have already been doing it, but he needs to be turning up tenfold, making you feel so, so secure. And if he's not, I would be asking myself if I'm comfortable in that situation because there is no worse feeling. And I feel like probably everyone listening has been in this situation at some point where

That sick, anxious feeling that lingers with you constantly when you don't trust your partner or something is up. And there is nothing worse for you to spend the next half a year feeling like that, driving yourself crazy. What is he doing? Hang on. He hasn't messaged back in this long. Is he with her? You know he's with her. He's on a training camp with her. Like not necessarily with her. But I mean, you know they're there. They're excited to see each other. They obviously have some sort of a friendship. It could be extremely platonic, which is so fine. But.

But it's the secrecy that it was shrouded in before he left. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, not wanting to, not saying who it was, not letting you see it. And you're in a really tricky spot now because he's gone. I would have pushed the conversation a bit more before he left and asked for some transparency, maybe asked to see some of the messages because you feel so uncomfortable, asked for some reassurance, but he's gone now. So it's like you have to decide what you're comfortable with. Yeah. And the only other thing I want to add to this is

I do think you will continue to get indications throughout the next couple of months because you're going to know if he's pulling away in the way he communicates with you. You're going to know if there's signs that something's not right. I know you've said that you won't be able to communicate as frequently as what you normally do.

But that doesn't mean that that communication would be any different than what it would be if, you know, if it was, you know, actually to be fair, if you're able to only communicate less, he would be giving you more. I miss you so much. Oh my God. You know, like anytime he has the ability to message you, he would be taking that chance and you will be able to tell if something has shifted. Like you will feel it in your bones. You will have all of the red flags and the warning signs. And I just think like you've already had red flags. Yeah.

Really be – I don't want you to be hypervigilant, but I just don't want you to discard them when they come along or if they come along. And I guess like ultimately you're on pause for four to five months. You're not going to do anything in this timeframe. Focus on yourself. Focus on your friendships. Focus on the things that make you happy outside of your relationship and then make an assessment once he's able to be back. I think that that's the only thing you can do because breaking up feels way too drastic at this point. I also wonder how long they've been together. Yeah.

Like, I wonder if it's quite new and you have, you know, you don't have that deep-seated trust yet. Or I wonder if you've been together five years and you've decided to do another career. Like, because I do think that matters. I think how long you've been with someone, if you were living with them, like your living situation, have you had issues in the past? There's a lot of things.

of things that come into account when you consider what to do here. And if you're in a very new relationship and this is happening, I'd be considering, I would be thinking it through. But the thing is, with a long relationship, where it's different is that you really notice behavior changes in a long-term relationship. Like if Matt all of a sudden was always on his phone and not showing me who he was messaging, I mean, that did actually happen at the start when he started his podcast with Ash. Yeah.

He was fucking messaging that man. And also, Ash isn't a big US name. All hours of the day, he'd get a phone call and he'd be so lit up. And I'd be like, oh my God, you're talking to Ash. Am I jealous of the male podcast host that you have? Who's also married with kids. Who's also married and has children. I think I am. But the thing is, it's like...

You notice behavior changes. Like I noticed that in Matt instantly. Obviously, I wasn't jealous about it. But like it's not something that someone can hide when you've been in a long-term relationship. You see when they're on their phone more. And it's also in a long-term relationship, it's easier to say, look, I feel uncomfortable. Can you show me those messages? Yeah. Almost everyone would say yes if it was fine. It's harder to have that conversation where you've just met someone because you're like, whoa, bro, like this is my privacy. Like, you know, if you're in a very early relationship, you can't just –

go up to someone and say, show me your phone. Do you know what I mean? It just hits a bit different when it's like super early days. I find this next one really quite tricky to answer. Recently, we had some questions from a woman who was pregnant and her friends weren't showing enough effort and weren't showing enough interest in her pregnancy. This is the flip side of that. What about for friends who don't have kids?

For example, my mum friend is now on baby number three, which spans over five years and we have been friends for 10 plus years. She's been to my house once in that time. It's not for lack of trying, but it's always on her terms. I understand mums are busy, but where do you draw the line and expect your friend to put in more effort too? It's always at her house or on her terms because that's what works for her and for her kids.

But is it unrealistic to expect them to put in the effort to see you and to always spend time together away from kids? General thoughts appreciated. This is interesting because there is a truth to it that doesn't

mean it makes you feel good, but it is the hard truth. The hard truth is people with children are very, very busy. Their life is 10 times harder. They can't just spontaneously say, hey, I'm going to pack up the three kids and pop over to your house. It doesn't work like that. Of course, it's not rocket science to say, if you want to catch up, hey, do you want to, like, if you are child-free, hey, do you want to just pop over after work? We'll have a drink. The kids can play or watch TV. Like that is just,

going to make sense always. Having said that, I get it. You are not the priority. You never will be. And that is a really hard truth, but it is the truth of it. Like if you go down the priority line in a friend relationship, especially if you don't have kids, because obviously it's easier to meet up with kids as well. They can play at the park or whatever. You notice things a lot more when you don't have children and you hang out with people that do have children. Even if you say, hey, I'll meet you at the park and hang out.

You're never going to have your friend's full attention. She's making sure her kids don't get hit by a car. She's making sure they're not pushing each other or falling down the park or whatever it is. It's like, it is just the way of the world. It is unreasonable to expect your friend to give you a ludicrous amount of attention, but I want to validate how you're feeling. Like every one of my friends almost has children. I've been in that situation and I'm nearly 38 years old. So it's not like I'm in my twenties. Like I've been around it a long time. I have friends that have kids that are 18 and I have friends that have kids that are babies.

It sucks because you are never going to probably feel that level of love and attention from those people in your life. But it is pretty unrealistic to expect them to consistently drop everything. I think the thing is, though, is she's not asking for something that's unrealistic. She's saying in five years, her friend who now has three children has been to her house once in that time. And that

Whenever they catch up, it's always on the mum's terms and also it's always at her house. So it's always the effort is being – it's a one-way effort that's being made. Yeah, but I think that – I'm thinking of all the people in my life with kids. That's how it is. Yeah. Look, I think to answer this –

In a perfect world, and I know that there's going to be people who hate this answer because I hate this answer. I hate it. In a perfect world, I want to say friendships are two-way streets and they should be mutual and your friend should have shown up more than once in five years to your house. I do think that. I genuinely do. Like that to me seems like a totally imbalanced friendship. I also know that I have friendships like that, unfortunately, where especially now that I'm pregnant and I've got two kids and I'm working, I'm

I know that there are friends in my life and I actually reading this, I was like, fuck, that could be one of my friends where they've come to my house. And it's just because it is so much easier for me. And I know that that's not fair. I know it's absolutely so selfish to think that everybody else's lives should bend to what is easier for me and for my life. I don't expect that either. If, if a friend turned around and said, Oh, actually it's not convenient for me to come to your house. It's not like I'm then offended by it, but it's just, if I have the kids, I'm

Otherwise, if it's the problem is, is like, otherwise I have to organize a babysitter or I have to get Matt to take the kids, which is absolutely fine. He will do that sometimes, but that's also me forfeiting the only time that I might get time to myself, or I might need it to do something else to go and have this friend catch up. And so like a lot of organization needs to go into that because I need to be like, Hey Matt, on Saturday, you've got the kids because I'm going to go and have a coffee with Brit at this time. And that's,

People who don't have kids can often be a lot more spontaneous with their schedules. Like the amount of times that you guys have been like, hey, Laura, we're at Blackwood. We're having breakfast. And I'm like, fucking lol. Not sponsored. Good luck. Good luck me ever being able to get to that, you know. Totally. Yeah.

I know that the dynamics in friendships can become really imbalanced and in no way am I saying that I think it's okay. I'm saying I relate to it. That's all. And when you think about the difference between a single person getting themselves ready to go to a hangout or a meetup or a catch up or whatever it is, it's like they get themselves dressed.

They get in the car. They go. It's like point A to point B is so linear. A mum has to get herself ready, get the kids ready, pack snacks, pack a drink bottle, pack a fucking change of clothes. I mean, I have to pack snacks and a drink bottle for myself too. But there's...

It's just there's so many more pieces to the process. And I think for a lot of people who are already overwhelmed, it just then becomes too hard and the friendships change, the dynamics change. And it is this constant conversation as to why a lot of people are not able to sustain friendships when they're

life situations are in such different points. I do think it's important that you still try to have those catch-ups without the kids. Like, and I don't know what that looks like for your friend. It also depends if she has a partner. Does she have the resources to get a babysitter? Like you've got to think they're paying three hours for someone to come and look after the baby. There's a lot going on, but I think there are ways that you can try and have that catch-up and maybe you try and like, we had this conversation last year with Elizabeth Day about saying,

you have to put in effort with your friendships as an adult and you have to put it in your diary. So maybe you say to your friend, hey, I would really love to try and once a month have a date night with you. Like let's catch up if you think that's an option to leave the kids at home. Like can we do it? If nights are not okay, you can do a lunch or whatever it is. I think if you structure it and make it a plan and you put it in your diary and every four weeks you do it, then maybe that is what is best. And I'm not trying to

avoid your feelings, they are completely accurate. But you do have to put yourself in other people's shoes sometimes and realize how much harder it is for them. I totally agree with you, Britt. And I think it's when a catch-up plan is not set in stone and it seems like to be spontaneously based around a weekend. So for me, when...

the friendships that I know that this is the most dominant in, it's when they've said to me, hey, do you want to catch up on Saturday? And I'm like, sure, I can catch up on Saturday. No plan was put in place. No structure was put in place. And that's fine for someone who doesn't have kids. You don't need plan. You don't need structure. And I don't say that to be dismissive. I say that as someone who for a long time didn't have kids and could easily be like plans on a Saturday. So long as I know the general time around, is it daytime or nighttime? I can make that work.

the difference when you have kids is you need to know the when and you need to know the where because you need to be organized. So I have an amazing group of girlfriends, there's five of us, and we only do dinner catch-ups, right? Like we'll put it in the calendar for three weeks time and we know the date, we know the time. I know I'm not coming to that with my kids. Like that is absolute me time and it's scheduled and it's planned. So I think sometimes with those types of friendships, we have to be really purposeful and I don't think all

all of our friends offer us that. I think a lot of friends want the flexibility so they're not putting things into schedules or calendars or it could be a work friend. So you see them heaps. So you're like, oh, we'll do something on the weekend, but there's not actually a plan put in place. And I know for me that for the friendships who aren't

actively do that and are happy to put shit in calendars, I have one-on-one time with them. For the friends who don't put stuff in calendars, I only see them with my kids. And that's because like I can't rally myself fast enough to be able to do stuff for them and with them where my kids are just not a part of it. No, Keisha and I sometimes will message each other at like 5.30 and be like, It's a bit sad that none of us ever have plans for that.

But we'll be like, do you want to get dinner at six? Like that is the turnaround we have because we don't have lives. No, but it's not that you don't have lives. But the thing is, it's like if you messaged me that, which you do sometimes. I always ask. You do. I never want you to feel as though you're not welcome. I never want you to see it on social media and be like, oh, they could have asked if I wanted to go. But it is a balance because I don't want you to feel guilt about not being able to come. And I also don't want you to be like, yeah, guys, I feel...

physically could make it, but I've got better priorities and those priorities are my family time. But also the flip side of that is, is like, there's definitely been times where I can come, but like, I'm not going to drag two kids to dinner at six o'clock. And then, and then it changes your experience. Like then it turns into like dinner with kids, which is annoying for people who just want to catch up with their friends. I do love your kids. I know, but it's, it's a totally different experience. And like, all I want to say is, is that I absolutely validate this question because I know how unfair it is and

And I hate that in a lot of my friendships, I'm your friend. Like I hate that I'm that person. I would have prior to having kids said like, that's shit. They don't put in the effort. Like they're being selfish just because they have children. They still need to try as hard. And, um,

Part of me still feels that, but I do know that I really struggle with it. I struggle with it so much. And I know that there's other mums out there who would struggle in the same way. So I don't think anyone would look at this question and be happy with the outcome that you're experiencing, but I think there'll be a lot of people that relate to it. Yeah. And the last thing I want to say is where do you draw the line and expect your friend to put in effort to?

I think you draw the line when if you have tried to put the once a month schedule in the calendar and she still can't show up for that with like so much pre-planning and thought, then that is where the line can start to be drawn. But there's got to be a fair bit of grace to be given here. And, you know, my maid of honor, my best friend of my whole life since we were five years old, Shannon, she's got kids. She's a teacher. She lives in a different state. But like we have a friendship that is strong.

Low maintenance. Is so low maintenance and it's reciprocal. Like we would be there for each other in a heartbeat if we needed it, but we get each other's lives. If the message hasn't gotten back straight away, like you have to have grace in relationships. And some people, their maintenance level doesn't match up in a friendship. Some friends are high maintenance. I don't want to say that in a negative way, but some people need more. They need more attention. Their cup is filled by seeing people all the time. Totally. And other friends, like I have friends like that.

We love each other, but I don't match on the same level of what they need. I also have one big question to ask. And I think that this is probably a question that we could all ask about friends who have kids who are in relationships, who are juggling like the mother load and everything else. And if you feel as though you don't see them enough.

How supportive is their partner? Like when you guys go and have lunch, is she saying he does fuck all and like I'm doing everything? Because if that's the case, if she doesn't have a supportive partner, you also have to factor that into the load that she's currently carrying with three children and potentially work or whatever else she's doing.

having a supportive partner gives you so much more freedom to be a good friend. Having a non-supportive partner takes all of your autonomy away because everything revolves around being 100% clocked into the kids because you can't rely on your partner to do it. And I know a lot of people experience this, like where the moms are just so 90% weighted towards the childcare. And so it's so hard for them to like

organize or to get prepared or to like have free time because their partners are you know useless which is shit like I'm not in no way am I I'm not excusing that it's a whole different conversation but it's something to have a high level of empathy for for sure all right question number four

My boss, let's call her Sally, confessed to me 10 months ago that she has had a fling with a married man during a business trip. She was convinced that she was in love and even planned to move to America for him. That is extreme. This is a HR absolute situation. Know your boundaries, boss.

Not just with the cheating, but why are you telling your staff? Yeah, it's weird. It gets worse. This is HR, HR, HR. Anyway, thank God she didn't move to America. That ended. But for the past eight months, she's been secretly seeing another guy in another state. The problem, Sally has two kids and a long-term partner that we're calling Fred.

Fred just thinks she's traveling for work, but she's in fact going interstate to see this other guy that she's seeing. Sally is a hot mess. Sally is a naughty woman. In reality, she's been maintaining a whole other relationship. Meanwhile, Fred is amazing. He's a supportive father who has no idea what is going on. Sally has shared way too many details with me and sworn me to secrecy. That is also not fair. That is really shit.

But I feel awful. I was cheated on by my ex-husband and when I found out, it absolutely crushed me so much that all these other people knew and chose to stay silent. Now, Sally and Fred, these names, where did she pull these from? Sally and Fred are now semi-separated, but they're still living together. She plans to tell him this new relationship has just started, but I know she's been cheating on Fred for over a year.

Question. Do I tell Fred? I don't want to blow up his life, but I would have given anything for someone to have told me. What would you do? These aren't their real names. What's your take on the anonymous text or the anonymous DM slide in? Do you know what I think in this situation? Burner account. What's your take? I think it's shit because unless you're going to follow through and explain it and give them evidence, it's shit. You could be anyone that's left a note on a car. I don't like that. What I think in this situation is this is different because they've already split up. So...

I guess what is going to come from it, unless he's really actively going above and beyond to try and win her back and they're trying to sort it out, might be different. But for now, you said they've split. She's going to tell him she's seen someone else anyway. I just don't know what good's going to come from saying, hey, guess what, Fred? She's actually been fucking him for a year. Like if they've already split, I just wonder like why you would go down that hole. This has too many complexities. And we've answered many cheating questions in the past. And I often circle around the same thing.

I know that you've experienced this and you would have done anything to have received that information. The thing is, though, is like you have to assess what drama is this going to bring into your life. This is your boss. This is your workplace. Two massive things that like make this a very unique situation are

I think it's very important. Obviously, you're friends with your boss. Obviously, you guys are close. But I think it's really important that you lay down some boundaries because it's not acceptable conduct that she's telling you the intricacies of her personal life. I do wonder, though, look at this relationship. I tell Keisha way too much. Yeah, probably. But also, like, imagine if you put Keisha in a situation where you were telling her that you've been cheating on Ben for a year. You wouldn't tell Ben, would you? I would keep the secret. Or

Or me saying that I was cheating on Matt. Like the ethical issues with that is so shit. Like I just don't understand why the boss chose you to say that too. But what I'm saying is possibly the relationship that they have obviously is they're all friends. She's friends with also his husband. So I'm assuming it is more of an intimate workplace that you can still be a boss and a friendship because obviously

We always joke about us here. We always cross the lines with each. We always make the, oh my God, if HR knew, but it's okay because we're also really good friends. So I'm assuming their relationship. Imagine if our boss at radio came up and was like, hey, don't tell anyone. I've been cheating on my wife. Yeah, I'd probably tell her. Do you know what I mean? Like if something like that ever happened where they weren't in my intimate friend group, I'd be like, you're crossing a line. Why are you telling me that? But in our little community here, like,

But the thing is, yeah, see, but the problem is, is even like in radio, if the boss came and told me that he was cheating on his wife, I'm not losing my job. I'm not getting involved. I know that there's going to be so many people that disagree with me, but like you really are taking on a huge burden about someone else's personal life by getting yourself involved in a way that could cost you your job. Like, and that is a huge thing. I'm not saying it's fair. You can obviously fight it if that outcome happened, but like, it's just such a gray area. I wouldn't want to insert myself into. I think it's,

It is probably really important to be like, hey, I know that you're going through a lot at the moment. I know that there's stuff going on between you and Fred and whoever Bob is down the road. But like, I don't want you to tell me about it because I don't want to be put in this position. You can say that. Like, I think we need to take responsibility for the information that we're given if we don't want it and we don't want to have the burden of what to do with it. You don't have to listen to it. And no one's going to get angry at you if you say, hey, look,

I know that this is what you're doing. I don't want to hear about it. I just, I can't because it puts me in a totally uncomfortable situation. I know you don't want me to say anything. I'm not going to say anything of what I know so far. Don't tell me anymore because I don't want to have to keep your secrets. That's okay. And I think we need to be better at doing that. I think sometimes we...

and I'm not saying that this is you, I'm saying in general, sometimes we enjoy the gossip, but then we've got all the gossip and we don't know what to do with it. And it's like, we enjoyed getting the story. We enjoyed being the closeness of being included in that. But then once you've got all the pieces of the puzzle, you're like, well, this is a heavy weight. Now what am I meant to do with this weight? And that's really not a situation I'd be putting myself in, in a work environment. Well, I'd still be worried about how

that to a boss could be. No, if I turn around to one of you and I was like, hey, I know that you've been doing the wrong thing. I'm not going to say anything about it, but like don't tell me anymore. Fine. I feel completely fine. Yeah, but you guys are reasonable. I would strap you down to my couch and I would make you. Where's that HR department?

And I would tell you, I actually genuinely think that there's not a bad outcome that can come. Obviously, you're not going to say it and like, tell me more. And I'm going to tell him, give me a pay rise. I feel like I'm in a really uncomfortable situation and I don't, I don't want the burden of it. I don't want the burden. Please don't tell me that's okay. The only thing I, and like, I want to unpack this a little bit more.

I know that we have in the past said the anonymous text is careless and it is. A lot of people, and we've heard about it in the past with different, you know, someone slid into their DMs or someone sent a message and like the outcome never is a good outcome because if you're going to play the anonymous part and be like, hey, I know, I'm

that your partner's been doing X, Y, Z. There's no aftercare to it. There's no like consideration to answering the questions that the person has. And it makes it really easy for whoever was the cheater to lie and to kind of cover or create a story around that. So I guess I already have a lot of feelings about it, but I do wonder if there's ever an instance where a well thought out, Hey, there's many reasons why I can't tell you who I am.

This is the situation. I know that you've separated and I just want you to know this information so that you don't make a choice without having the full, you know, conversation about what's happened. Is there ever a place where that type of approach might be beneficial? I don't know. Yes.

Yes, but only if you're going to give so much detail and evidence that if you know you don't want to go and answer any further questions, you need to provide them with absolutely everything. And I still don't think this is your first port of call. Like, I don't love it. I remember someone did it to me. I think I spoke about it on the podcast when I was with Jordan.

towards the end, I remember I got an anonymous message on Instagram that was like, Hey, just so you know, he's seen this person and he absolutely wasn't like, I know that I believe that with every ounce of my being. And I wrote back to this person and I said, okay, do you want to tell me who you are? Do you want to tell me how you know this or give me anything further? They're like, no, no, no, I couldn't possibly, but I, I know. And I was like,

Shut up. And I went and spoke to Jordan about it and you know, like we didn't have any trust issues in our relationship ever. So there wasn't anything preceding this message. I took it with a grain of salt, but this is the problem, right? If you are not that comfortable in your relationship, you don't, and there's no proof. People can just be blowing up things left, right and center. But also I think that usually comes in and I agree with the detail aspect that usually comes with the people who write messages like your husband's cheating on you. You're

Your partner's cheating on you. Totally. Leave a note in a car. Like that is not going to do anything. That's not going to shift the dial. Like if you are going to go down the route of sending the anonymous message, you send it all. You send everything exactly as you said. But the problem is, is you've got to know that sending that information to someone and not being able to be there to be like,

Are you okay? It's crazy. You have no idea what state you're leaving that person in. You have absolutely no idea of what mental state they are in when they're receiving that information. And you have no idea of what mental state they're in when they have finished reading it. And I think both of those things are critically important because you just don't know how someone would respond to their entire life being blown the fuck up. Well, it's not going to be well. You don't have the details. They're not responding well.

At the end of the day, they've already broken up. It's your boss. Leave it. Just leave it. Leave it. Let dead dogs lie. Okay. Maybe we do a poll on that because I feel as though some people who have been cheated on would do anything to like know the truth. And so therefore that like sways the opinion on it. I might feel different if they were still together and they had kids and they were working on it. I might feel different, but they've split and she's going to tell him she's with someone anyway. So I feel like now it's like.

I don't know. I'm just like, it's causing a lot of unnecessary issues. And yeah, I agree. And to be honest, like I say this from the perspective of someone who has been cheated on and I understand the reasons why the people who didn't tell me, didn't tell me. I get it. I understand. I don't hold resentment for them. And I know that that's not the case for everyone, but I don't expect them to have taken on the burden and the drama of what my ex-boyfriend was doing. Do you know what I mean? I don't expect that of them. I also forgot to even mention this.

I've been in that situation where we broke up, like the person was cheating on me. I didn't know they were cheating at the time. We broke up, found out they cheated on me, whatever, moved on. I had received messages six months down the track, a year down the track from people saying, hey, just wanted to let you know, like,

This happened. He was cheating on you. And I remember being like, why the fuck? I don't care. Yeah. We've broken up. Why are you bringing this back to my forethought? Why are you making me revisit that? Like, it's done. We're not together. It doesn't change the rest of my life. You know, it makes it worse. It doesn't add to it. And I think if they've already split up, it's just not adding anything. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I had the exact same thing happen. Yeah. I remember looking at the message being like, why the fuck? Why?

Why? What are you getting from this? Thank you. You're such a good vigilante. I already knew. I just didn't know he was also doing it with you, goddammit. Thanks for being another one. There were ones I didn't know about, but it just didn't change anything for me. I was like...

But you also are not surprised. You kind of get those messages and you're like, yeah. Yeah, whatever. I was like, cool. We're broken up. I did the group chat. Literally. Anyway. All right, guys. Well, that's it from us. If you have a question for Ask Uncut, slide into the DMs. Send us your saucy, deep, dark questions. I feel like these ones were all very level. We need some fucking insane ones. I'm looking forward to them. We know you're out there.

We do. I've said it before. We'll find you. Like the stepdad who, not the stepdad, the father-in-law who was sniffing the dildo. That's what we need. We need that sort of stuff. We hope that's not happening, but if it is, get it off your chest. Get it off your chest, guys. We're here. We'll help you, Ben. Slide into the DMs at Life Uncut Podcast. You can also watch it all on YouTube. We have a great YouTube channel and you know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because love. All on my own. I love love.

I love it. It would be good on video.