Shownotes Transcript
This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is our radio show. In fact, not our podcast. If you are new to the show. I mean, technically it is the pod. It is, but it's like we do a radio show. We package up the best parts of the week. We give it to you in one cute little bundle. And here it is. Yeah, it sure is. Well, look.
Big show. You got up the duff. We've moved on. Yeah, lots of pregnancy chat. No one cares anymore. We did it. It's done. If you didn't know already about the gender reveal of what the gender is of the baby, I reckon you guys already know. But if not, it's in this episode. So, yeah, you'll find out. Surprise! Surprise!
hook for the 1%. Yeah, for literally whoever has just started listening to this podcast and this is the first episode they ever clicked on, well, enjoy. But also, I feel like I shared some doozies of stories this week. Firstly, I asked the big question that everyone's been asking. When does falling over turn into having a fall? I know you've all been curious. Yeah. But it's because
Ever since becoming pregnant, I think that my weight is not evenly balanced anymore. Like my center of gravity is shifted and I have fallen over so many times. The other day within the space of a 48 hour period, I fell over three separate times and they just got increasingly more embarrassing. So we talked about that. And then I also shared a story about Matt and his favorite new toy, which is an electric bike. Yeah, I was hoping it would be something else. I was hoping the toy would be something else. Do you remember when I shared the story about the cock ring?
Yes. How could I forget? That's what I thought was going to go down that path. We never used it. Yeah, he tried it. He didn't like it. You know, I forced it on the guy. True. That's true. But I, you know... Squeeze it on. After eight years... Hold it when it's soft and push it on. You can't do that. All right. Well, look, what have you got for me, Britt? Well, nothing is equally as exciting as that. No, we had one of the loosest interview chats that we've had in so long. I actually loved it so much. Funnily enough, we're talking about like a woman that cut her own mole off and it
And one thing led to another and we ended up chatting to Tilly Whitfield. That name might ring a bell, but she was from Big Brother a couple of years ago. She's like this beautiful young blonde, breath of fresh air. She's so funny. But she sort of became pretty well known for these DIY beauty trends that she was trying to do on herself to save a buck.
They went horribly wrong. Like she tried to tattoo freckles onto her own face and it was like horrific what happened to her. I have never had a conversation with someone that was as unhinged as that radio break. Oh, she's the best. She's so funny. She's such a loose cannon. But I really enjoyed the chat even though it was very rogue.
I think you guys will love it too. But there's a bunch more stuff coming up as well. I also think that we can take that chat as a true life lesson that there are some things in life that we should just get an expert for. And there's reasons why people go to university, spend many years studying, become surgeons. And we shouldn't try and do some of those things ourselves. 100%. Enjoy the show, guys. Let's get into it.
I've turned myself into a real pickle, Laura, by choosing the fiancé that I have. I mean, he's great. He's great. So I think the pickle's fine. So my fiancé's German. Well, he's Swiss.
but he speaks Swiss German and German. So I've been trying to learn German. It is so hard. I've essentially given up. You have been trying to learn German for two years. For nothing. And I don't, I didn't want to insult you, but I don't think you've made any progress. Well, you'd be surprised. However, I find it quite funny because you're the first person to pick on Ben when he says something wrong in English. His fifth language. But he speaks literally six different languages. He speaks five
languages and I have so much satisfaction when he gets a word wrong, but I don't give him a hard time. I just, I just correct him. Just laugh at him. The audacity that you have to correct him in his English speaking when he can speak everything. A hundred percent. And I understand what that says about me. He did write, I did have a giggle. It's really cute. His English is amazing. Like I cannot fault it, but sometimes English is hard to write and read. But yesterday he did write to me and he said he had a toasty.
And he wrote T-O-W-S-T-I-E. And I thought that was really cute. Toasty. But that's how it sounds, right? Anyway. So he now lives in Italy. So I just went to Italy and now I've realized that I need to learn Italian. It's a new language. Yeah. So I went over there and I did have a few mishaps with not being able to understand what I was buying. So my sister and her partner also came over and they had their little baby, Maya, who's 10 months old. And I went to the supermarkets to get some things. And...
My sister asked me to also get some baby food. And I was like, yeah, cool. I was like, what does she have? And she's like, oh, just get a packet of Rafferty's. No, she's like, get some of those because it's easier, right? Like the yogurt pouches that come with a swivel top. You squeeze them out. Like you all know those yogurt pouches. That is literally Rafferty's. Oh, is it? Yeah. Well, I don't have a kid. I don't know the names. Sorry. And this is not sponsored, Laura. Sorry, it's not. It's just the one that I used to buy.
Okay, so anyway, I got some other stuff for Ben too. So fast forward, I go to my sister's to give her the baby food and I'm in charge of feeding the baby because I'm, you know, I'm like taking all the time I can with my niece. I'm like, do I want to have this soon? Do I want my own child? Let's see. So I open the yogurt and my sister's like a couple of meters away and I go to squeeze it out and I was like,
That doesn't look right. And my sister looks over and she goes... I was like, is this what this is supposed to look like? And she's like, what the hell is that? No. I go down and sniff it. Dog food. I got a squeezy pouch of dog food that I was about to feed my 10-month-old niece. Cat food would have been worse. Real fishy smelling. Or maybe it was cat food. I don't know. It was some kind of pet food. But in my defense...
It was quite like neutral packaging. And then there was just like this really fine line art drawing of what turned out to be an animal's face in a bottom corner. I don't think that this is something that is like specific to being in another country. I don't know if you remember this, Britt. It was a long time ago now. But I got sent – I have a dog.
I do. I have a dog. I got sent a beautiful package of what were little donut biscuits. And like it was obviously from a very organic brand made very naturally. It looked like something that you could have picked up at the farmer's markets. Yeah. And they were these cute little donut biscuits that had icing on top and they were in little individual bags. And my nephew at the time came over. He was about four years old.
And I gave it to him. Didn't read the packaging, didn't pay any attention to it and I handed him dog biscuits of which he ate all of them. So at least I took it one step further. You ended it before it could have gotten worse. But you know what? He's never had nicer biscuits. To be fair, I was going to say. His coat looked immaculate. His hair was so shiny. Nails, amazing. So shiny.
I think my sister thinks I can't be in charge of looking after Maya anymore because then I went to make us coffees. This is the same day from the same shop. Went to make us coffees and I went to pour in like the long life milk into the coffee. Chicken stock. Chicken stock.
Because it both, it just comes in the exact same long life. I don't believe it. You know, those like cardboard cartons. It comes in the same thing. And I can't read Italian. It's weird that one of them has a picture of a chicken on the front. But like, you would never guess that they didn't just milk a chicken in Italy. Anyway, it was chicken stock. So obviously canned that and canned the baby food. Mine did not eat the baby food. But I'm like, what am I going to do?
am I going to do? How am I ever going to go and live over there successfully if I can't read anything? No, just smell things before you take really a committed stance. I did. That's how I knew it was chicken stock. I was like, well, this is really salty. I don't know. I feel like maybe you just need to let Ben be in charge of everything from now on. Oh, don't let him hear you say that. Rip. Yes, Laura. I have a question for you. Hit me. What age? And I want a specific age. Am I now? No. 27. No, because it's always a lie. You've never told us the truth. You'll never know.
know. Even Daily Mail doesn't know for sure. Every article, there's something different written about you. It changes every article because they'll be like, we'll get it right at one point. Okay. So everyone has fallen over, right? Like kids fall over. You know, you might have a couple too many drinks on the weekend. You might fall over. But when does the transition happen between when falling over, the description of that turns into having a fall? Oh,
Oh, like when you're old. You didn't just fall over, but you had a fall. I feel like it may be, you know, great question, by the way, Laura. I'll just add that there. I think maybe. It's what everyone's been considering on their Monday, isn't it? The thing is, maybe it's when you can't get back up. So great. Do you think that's when you've had a fall as opposed to fell over? It's like, or when there's a bad injury. It's definitely age related because you don't say it.
I guess you do for a kid. You're like, oh, they had a fall. I don't know. It's weird. It does sound very like retirement-y. Doesn't it? So either it's severity or age related, right? But then it can't just be a number of age. It's got to be like the age of the person. Because like some people, you might get someone who's in their 80s, but they're a really young person in their 80s. You get someone in their 70s, but they're a really old person in their 70s, right? Like people don't just age the same. Right.
I say this because I have recently, and I don't know why it is happening, but I have become particularly clumsy. And in the space of three days, I had three separate episodes where I fell over. We're not calling them falls. But if you call, you can't call it an episode either. That's age thing as well. Like if you've had an episode of falls, you're doomed. Well, I fell over three separate times. And I'm not talking like little falls. I have a massive bruise across the whole of my left ass cheek because I fell over. All right, hang on. Set me up.
First fall, what happened? And now my husband's describing them as I'm having falls. Okay, first one, I was running backwards on a beach because I was like chasing my daughter and I was running backwards. She was chasing me. And I didn't realise that directly behind me was a massive log with sticks sticking out of it. And I fell over the log and I fell into the log full of sticks.
And then I rolled around on the ground for a while because it hurt really bad. Okay. I would say you fell. In front of people as well. Yeah. I'd say you fell over for that one. That's not a fall. Okay. Yeah. So. So the next day and we were at a rock platform. So little cute rock pools. Uneven ground. Yep. I took one step onto the rock platform. Everyone else was on there.
comfortably walking around looking at the crabs. I took one step and I slipped in some algae and then I rolled down the rock platform back onto the sand. Okay. So green moss has entered the chat. I would also say in that circumstance, you fell over. Okay. Okay. Three. Same day, but in the afternoon I was rushing because I had to go and pick up my daughter and I was trying to get my youngest into the car and I was wearing crocheted pants and my big toe from my left foot hooked
into the crochet hole of my pant in my right, like my right pant and I tripped over my own pants. This one was like, I flew through the air and my phone went, my keys went, everything. It was like very dramatic and my foyer walks up and she goes,
Mom, what's wrong with you? Why do you keep falling over all the time? And I really don't have an answer for it. I'm not sure. I would say in that one that you had a fall. The third one, you had a fall, guys. Do you know what I think I've realized it is now that we've broken it down? I think having a fall is when you fall –
for no apparent reason. Like you're just walking. I just was walking. Yeah. So I think that's when it is because you got caught in your pants. That's having a fall. But when you fall ever backwards or you slip on algae, you fell. I also had platform sandals on. So I really... Who are you? Platform sandals on at the beach? I really took a dive. But anyway, my four-year-old really added insult to injury the night of. So like...
She was very confused by my constant falling over. And then that night I was putting her in bed and I gave her her like drink bottle and I like went to pat her hair with my hand and she just looks at me and she looks at me with this real look of concern on her face. And she goes, honey, you're getting old. And I was like, sorry, what? Why? Why, sweetheart? She goes, look at your hands.
And I looked down at my hands and I have kind of particularly veiny hands. Also, so does Angelina Jolie. Sorry, you have beautiful skin and young hands. You could be a hair model with veins. You could be a vein model. Thank you. I'll be a vein. Yeah, I'm very good if I need to go in and get anything done intravenously. Like, yeah. I could cannulate you easily. Yeah, you could. Great. Okay. So, you know, I was slightly offended. But then she doubled down. And I said, I don't think my hands look that old, do they, sweetie? And she goes...
Yeah, and all the lines. And then she went through and pointed all the lines out on my face. Oh, no. And so now I'm, yeah, she told me that I look more like a nana than a mum, so...
Anyway, guys, happy Monday. Oh, my God. That is the worst. You know what? The lines I could deal with, but saying you look more like a nana, that, like, would hurt me. I'd be looking straight in for the Botox. I'll be, like, getting them on the line. Give me everything. Clear the schedule. All right. So I booked in for a facelift. It's happening next week. I'll have six weeks off, everyone. Be like, Mom, you look like a baby. Today is a very big day. Laura got laid. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay
No, I am pregnant with number three baby. So it's very exciting for me. But also, I'm not the only person who's responsible for this whole pregnancy that's going on here. What? How do you make that happen?
How do you make babies? My husband, Matt, who has been on the show many times, is also someone who I don't know whether we could say is also to blame for this. So congratulations, sweetheart. He's right here. Look, a lot of hard work has gone into this. Blood, sweat and tears. It's not been easy. We got there. It's weird that everyone, obviously we're married. People know that we're going to be being intimate. But yeah, it's weird that people know that we've been...
14 weeks ago, we've been having sex. Well, I'm actually almost 18 weeks along. So great that you've been paying attention. You're lying. Yeah, I'm 18 weeks now. Matt, you're having a baby. This pregnancy is flying through. We'll be giving birth any second. To be fair, it's because Matt missed out on the first half of it. So when I found out that
that I was pregnant. And, you know, if you guys have been listening to the show, you would know that Matt was on I'm a Celebrity this year. So Matt had gone into the jungle. He had had his phone taken away and it was two days after he was non-contactable. And so I went and bought a pregnancy test, peed on the stick, and then I looked at it and I just remember sitting there and seeing these two lines. And at the same time, your sister was over and your mum was downstairs. And I walked downstairs to them and I was like, hey guys, sorry to interrupt. And
They were putting in a Woolies order. And I was like, do you reckon this is two lines? And it was the clearest, most evident two lines that there has ever been. So you told Matt's family before you told Matt? I pretty much told everyone before I told Matt because he wasn't here. We had a rule. We were loosely trying. But when I went into the jungle, I said to Laura, if I make it as far as the moment on the show where you guys come into the jungle, can you tell me if you are pregnant?
And then she came in and there was a thought in the back of my head. I'm like, well, she hasn't said anything. Sure, you're not going to say that on TV. No, it was too early because we've had a couple of pregnancy losses as well along the way. So I didn't want to have that conversation which felt too early to have it, especially publicly. I wanted to make sure that we were in the clear in lots of ways. So then here's the question –
You guys haven't been on the same path for a long time, for probably the last 18 months on if you wanted more kids. Like one of you wanted them when the other one didn't and then it swapped and Laura would want it and Matt wasn't ready. How did you find the balance of getting to the same place at the same time?
Something happened around Christmas time where we thought we should do this. It was like the one little window where we're both like, let's have a kid. It's hard because number three, like I think for anyone who goes from having two kids to three kids, like there's a lot of mental gymnastics that has to happen because when you've got two kids, you're like, oh, we've got a car that fits two kids. Like, you know, we're not outnumbered. It just...
Two kids seems like a relatively manageable family unit. And so I was the one who proposed, like, let's have another one. And for a little while there, Matt was like, absolutely not. I think it was whenever I was ovulating. I was like, we should have another kid. It's interesting that it happened at, you say it happened at Christmas. It is the number one month of the year that people conceive. It's because it's happy and joyful and people are drinking and getting loose. They're stressed. Well, tracking back when the baby was conceived, it was Christmas Day. So it really was a Christmas.
Christmas miracle, everyone. Oh, wow. They're getting into the Christmas spirit, weren't we? And so how did you react when Laura told you? How did I tell you? It was an interesting scenario because it was a couple of weeks after we returned from the jungle and
And before we went to bed, I went to Laura and said, well, I guess you're not pregnant because you haven't said anything. And then Laura said, yeah, I've been thinking about it. And I don't know if it was the right idea to try and have a kid. And then in my head for the next two days, that thought process was marinating. And then Laura gave me a scratchy. It said on the scratchy that you could win $100,000, but you had to scratch every icon. And one of the icons said, we're having a baby. There was like 60 icons. How big was this?
Matt got over it halfway through and he was like, oh, this game sucks. And I was like getting quite annoyed at him and I was like, just scratch all of the scratchy. Just keep playing. And so eventually he scratched the scratchy, but he just looked more confused than actually thrilled, I think, at the time. Well, I just, I didn't know if it was part of the game. I was like, have I won the money or not? Or a baby. I don't want a baby. Yeah, I was like, so there is no money involved? It's just a baby. Okay. But now I am excited. I'm also very, I'm nervous.
I look at people with newborns and I think to myself, I cannot believe we're going back there. It's like we've run a marathon twice and now I'm lacing up to go back to the start line to do it all again. Yeah, it's really, I mean, I wonder if other people have felt this when they've had their third baby. Number one and two are like we were so excited. And I guess now going into this pregnancy period,
It's like the blinkers or the rose-coloured glasses have been taken off and we're very aware that as much as we are so excited and couldn't be more thrilled, we know that it's such a privilege to be able to have another baby. We're also just bloody frightened about what is the next year of our life and what's in store for us. I'm equally as frightened.
Look, the reason why you're here is because we do have something really exciting that we wanted to do together. We both have spoken a little bit about the fact that we're having a baby, but something that we've never done before when we've been, or I've been pregnant, is find out the gender of the baby. So it's always been a surprise at birth.
I've bullied Laura into this, by the way. And this time that was the one who really wanted to find out what the gender is. And I, you know, he wore me down. So we're going to do it. And if you guys stick around, we're going to do it next. Yes! So live on radio, on The Pickup, after the break, we are going to be finding out the sex of Laura and Maddie J's baby.
Look, this is really big for us for a couple of reasons. I mean, if you guys have been following the show for a while, you would know we have two little girls already. They're incredible. Shout out to Marley and Lola. Marley and Lola, five and four. We never found out the gender of our babies before the
the delivery day. It was always that moment of like, it's a girl as they're kind of put on your chest, which I love. And I find that so deeply special. And I didn't want to find out the gender. However, being that this is baby number three, Matt was like, just give me something. I don't understand why people want to lump in all those surprises on the one day. Why not spread them out? I like
that you're meeting halfway and you're letting Matt find out, I think that the woman is the one that goes through the whole thing. At the end of the day, she gets to decide. For the first two. And the third one, the rule is it's up to the man. And also, I'm going to say it has to be a water birth.
Matthew. What? Emma. We'll discuss that one later. Okay, hang on. What do you guys want either way? Like if you had to... I know it's the old like we just want a healthy baby, of course, but you get to pick what you want hypothetically in this situation. What are you having? I mean, we really, really do just want a healthy baby. That's like number one. Of course. I...
I'd like an athlete. Okay, tennis or golf? Football? Healthy is good, but I want it to be like a genetic freak of an athlete. I want it to win gold medals. Do you want it to be a boy or a girl? Look, I would be happy with a girl. Just going to say that because I love being a girl dad. But at the same time, growing up, I always envisioned being a dad with
with a son. So you can go and do those like father-son things. That's how you imagine. Obviously, you can do it with daughters. But you do that. All those things that you think you might want to do if you had a boy, you already do them with Marley. Marley and Lola hate going to the footy. I'm like, who wants to go watch the Roosters? And they're like,
Not at all. Paint my nails, Dad. But also, like, you're very good at being a girl dad. Like, you have no reservations going getting your nails painted on a Saturday or taking them out for baby chinos and doing, like, tea parties and stuff. Like, you really slot into girl dad life in an incredible way. I love it. I love it. But I just think it would be great to experience...
being a dad to a son. Yeah. Change of scenery. Exactly. All right. So we've got Matt Anson locked in. He would, happy either way, but prefer to add a male to the already three female scenario. Laura, how are you feeling? You know what? If you'd asked me before having Marley and Lola, I always thought that I would be a mum to boys.
But now that I have two girls, I deeply love being a mum to girls. So I don't care at all. Like I feel as though – You're bad at this game. No. Boy or girl. No, I mean it. She's such a politician. I will be thrilled with either. Like I'm such a fence sitter. Like I do not care. Well, it's your lucky day because you are getting one of them. I will be happy with a girl. I love what we have and I think three sisters for them would be amazing rather than having a little brother who might be – who will be five years younger. I think he might get left out a little bit. Yeah.
Well, we've got the cake. Laura has picked up the knife. Are you all ready? We are going to live on radio. Find out the sex of your baby. This is so exciting. Right now? Right now. Oh, my God. Are you guys excited? You're actually about to find out what you're having. Okay. We have a gender reveal cake. I am cutting the cake. Okay. Don't look. Don't look. I'm not going to look so that we can all see at the same time. All right. Pull it out. Both hands. Both hands. And it's a... It's a girl.
Oh my God, you're having a third little girl. Congratulations. Oh. There's a lot of estrogen in our household. Matt, Matt, can we zoom in on Matt? How are you? How are you? You okay? Am I capable of producing boys? I'm worried. No, you're not. Let's go again. Let's go for a four. Matt said we're having three kids. Turns out we're having four. No, you don't mean that. Oh my God, guys. A baby girl. How do you feel, honey? You okay? Do you have a kiss?
No, I feel good. I feel good. I feel good. When I look at young boys and I look how turbo they are, there is a big part of me that goes, I stuff that. I don't want to be involved. No, I'm thrilled. I love being a girl dad. Obviously, that's matched with a feeling of the fact that I'm never going to have a son. Oh.
No, you watch now. You're going to go for round four. I can't. Guys, I'm tapping out. I'm almost 40. I'm not having number four. Excuse me. I haven't even started. So you don't have to tap out yet.
Age is but a number. I love you, honey. Guys, congratulations. Thank you. And thank you for sharing that with everyone. Everyone just found out with you that you're having a third baby girl. I think that's really, really cool. And I'm really happy for you. I do think I was hoping for a boy just for some like differentiation. But I do think overall it's going to be easier for you. You've already got all the girl stuff. You guys don't have to convince me. I'm thrilled, guys. That's all for that. I'm like...
For the record, I'm happy. I don't know if you can tell by the tone of my voice, but I'm smiling right now. I'm thrilled to have a beautiful girl.
Now, I did not see this on my bingo card today, but I have become a bit obsessed and equally grossed out with a story about a woman that is going viral online for her own beauty DIY hack. Now, she has a mole, quite a big mole on her face. She got quoted between $500 and $1,000 to cut it off. So she decided to
to cut her own mole off her face at home. Have a listen. Let's talk about the mole situation, shall we? The scissors that I use, I would take some alcohol, boom, boom, spray on it. And then I just kind of took it out and I just went in like that. It didn't hurt. It wasn't painful. I
She used manicure scissors. Firstly, I just have to say this. So, producer Grace created a prep sheet for this and there is a great big photo of this woman holding her mole up to the camera. She just plucked it up off the table that it fell down on and she's holding a full... I'm talking this mole is like the size of a pinky fingernail. It's huge. Yeah. It makes me feel like...
like viscerally unwell to think about and look at. And also, I don't know how she said it's got no pain because moles and stuff have blood supply. Like, you can feel that. You can't just take a pair of scissors at home and hack your face off. I understand that some things are expensive, but there's still some things that we shouldn't DIY. I learned a lesson the hard way when I was in my early 20s. So I've always had... Well, like probably from my early 20s, I started to get some sunspots, right? Like little bits of pigmentation. Yeah. And I really noticed it around the age of 24. Anyway, of course...
back then trying to book in to go and see a beautician or whatever too expensive. So I went and I did my own Googling online and I read on some Reddit forum somewhere that wart kill, so like the stuff you would use to kill off warts on your feet. Literally toxic. Is really good for removing pigmentation. So I painted it onto my face and I gave myself a third degree burn on my forehead, which the scar is still there. Now, look, I made it 10 times worse, but it is literally on my forehead.
where I burnt myself with water. How could you be so ready for? All right. Well, I've actually called up. Do you remember Tilly Whitfield? She was on Big Brother. She's just a breath of fresh air. She's the best. But one of the things that she was speaking about is a DIY beauty hack that she tried to do that was like an absolute fail. So I want you to hear it from her. Tilly, welcome to The Pickup.
Hi, guys. How are you? Hi, Tilly. We're good. How are you? Tell us. Wait, wait. Can I say something before you even go into that? Yeah. When you're talking about warts, you're going to die at this. My uncle used to bite my cousin's warts off. Oh! Tilly!
Yeah, I come from a DIY family. That's not DIY. Wait, he put his mouth on the wart and just bit it down? Yeah, he'd bite them and spit them out. Are we talking like a normal wart? Does it matter? Sorry, he did it to himself? No, no, his kids, his kids. You can't bite a wart off a child. I could vomit in my mouth. I actually feel... But also...
Tilly, no wonder you're trying to tattoo your own face. Oh, my goodness. Okay, that's a whole other conversation, the wart thing. Tell us what you did and why. I was going on to Big Brother. I had to have, like, all the permanent makeup. So I, like, got the, like, eyebrows done. I got, like, the permanent, like, lip tattoo. Just, like, got it all. It was COVID. So I was, like, low-key running low on, like, funds. I was, like, 19 years old.
And I was just looking up like how to like look cute with no makeup on. And you could like tattoo makeup on, but like I didn't have the machine for that. Like you needed like this weird like needling, micro-needling machine. I was like, okay, that's too hard. So I went for the next best thing, which was like freckles. Yeah. And I saw it on TikTok and this like –
professional tattoo artist was teaching people how to do it at home and yeah I did it and it was completely like chalked. What happened though? So did you give yourself an infection or did you just botch it? No,
No, like I literally like went blind. Okay, you guys, if anyone's in the car listening, have a look at the photos because it is, and this is actually such a great message. I know we're laughing and joking, but it's a really good message about like what not to do at home. But also that makes me mad for the tattoo artist who's encouraging people to try it at home. Like this is the issue about like influence. This woman who's saying, oh, cut off your own mole. It actually went fine.
all the people who might try and do that now thinking that it's okay. Well, also don't bite warts off with your mouth. Yeah, sorry. So, Tilly, did you, so when you say you went blind for a while, like was that from an infection or, and how long did that last? Like what happened? Yeah,
Yeah, it was from an infection because I literally like ordered the stuff off eBay. So it was like eBay ink, eBay needles and they just honestly got so infected. My whole eyes closed up and I was like, oh crap, better go to the hospital and like just had to get like on a full drip and everything because I was so sick from it. Tilly, did you end up doing any permanent damage? Well,
Well, the thing was, like, I also tried to DIY remove them. So I think this is why. Stop, please. How do you try to remove it? Like, you use, like, whale pumice or, like, lemon or, like, a scalpel to cut it out. Like, I tried multiple things. So this is why it went so bad. Yeah.
Yeah, that's why when you say that wart, I was like, I literally ordered a scalpel off eBay as well and cut off one of them. Like, my nose is so bad. Like, there's a full scar in the middle of my nose, like a dent because I cut that one off. Tilly. Oh, my gosh, Tilly. That is honestly the craziest story I've ever heard. And if anyone has ever thought it might be a good idea to DIY, don't do it. Even if you're going to laminate your own brows, maybe think twice at this rate. Oh, my God, Tilly. Well, I'm glad that you've...
sort of starting to give up the DIY. I think that, um, I don't think she is. Thanks so much. Thanks for coming on the show. All right. Bye guys. Bye Tilly.
Now, Brittany, yesterday I got home from the show and I walked in the door and Matt, my husband, he barely kissed me hello and he was like, oh, I'm so rude. He's like, can you watch the kids? I've got to go. And I was like, where are you going? And he's like, I can't explain it to you right now. I'll tell you when to get home. It's pouring with rain. He runs out the house, gets on his electric bike that he's recently purchased, which he ferries the kids around on. He uses it for like the school drop-offs and the daycare drop-offs and stuff. Is that imperative to the story or are you just feeling it? It is. I was like, I don't know. Do you know how Matt gets around to you?
But thanks. He just buries it for some – sometimes he gets the milk and sometimes he walks. Wow, that's crazy. What does he do on a weekend? No, please, continue as you were. Sorry.
He gets on the electric bike in the rain and it was all very frantic. Off he goes, comes back 20 minutes later, drenched, carrying a tiny little toy, like a little one of Marley's little teddies. I was like, what has happened? Anyway, so during the day he'd taken Marley out for a ride and they'd gone down to the cafe or whatever. And as he was riding and he went from on the footpath down onto the road, he hears this man going, oi!
Oi! And Matt assumed that the man is yelling at him. Like abuse. Yeah, and even Marley was like, ride faster, Daddy. That man is yelling at us. Quick, he's coming with his pitchforks, Dad. So Matt assumed that this guy is yelling at him because he was riding on the pedestrian footpath where you're not really supposed to ride and then he'd like gone onto the main road. But, you know, he's got two kids in the back. He's just trying to be safe. Still illegal. Continue.
Fair. Anyway, I'll change that part of the story. So he's got this guy yelling at him. And so, you know, when you've got a bit of road rage, but you also can get bike rage. So he turns around. Electric bike rage. He's going fast on his electric bike. He turns around and says a few choice words and flips the guy off at the same time, like sticks his middle finger up. Great. This story's wild. Really great example that he's setting for our kids.
Anyway, they go to the cafe. He gets home. And then Marley turns around about two hours later and she goes, Daddy, I think I lost my teddy on the bike. And that's when it dawned on Matt that actually the man yelling at him had found the teddy. The toy had dropped off the back and he was trying to get him to stop riding. And Matt turned around and was like,
And then stuck his finger up this poor guy on the street. Well, you realise that man went home and burnt the tooties. He was like, stuff you. I'm going to put that out the back and burn it. No, he just left it on the street in the rain. Matt had to go and fetch it. I reckon you could probably safely throw that out now. It's been on the ground. It's been outside. I don't know if you want that, do you? No, you have to. If it's your kid's favourite toy, you've got to bring it home. You've got to put it in the washing machine. You've got to do what you can to revive it. Can't the dummy fairy take that too?
Surely there's more use in this. Well, Matt's learnt a very valuable lesson, has he? Not being an arsehole? I don't know. What was it? You're telling the story. I was hoping he learnt something from it. I don't know. There's definitely been times where I've gotten like unjustly angry in a car and then I've realised actually I'm in the wrong. So I probably shouldn't be screaming at people. I don't, I'm trying to think off the top of my head if there's something where I've like abused someone. No, you're a saint. I don't really, I'm pretty perfect. Yeah, so I just can't think of anything.
Megan Markle has given us the inside scoop, the inside tea that everyone has been waiting for, everyone has been wondering about. Now, good question, Laura. What is it? Well, me. Are you drunk? Have you been sipping Prosecco's underneath that microphone? No, I just genuinely am not sure anyone actually cares about what I'm about to say, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Megan Markle, she's the person that people love to speak about, but I don't think anyone actually wants to hear about. We
Which is a funny place to be. It's because she is an easy person to dislike, which is a shame because I love suits. I love her as an actress. But every so often I do hear her say things and I'm like, oh, that's a bit insufferable. Well, Megan has finally revealed the reason behind her and Harry's nicknames for each other. Now, if you're wondering what the nicknames are, they are M and H. M and H.
And I feel like I just got dumber talking about this, but some people apparently don't know what the M and the H stood for, which, I don't know, seems pretty obvious to me, but have a listen.
Probably at the beginning of us dating, when everything was in code. I couldn't tell anyone who I was dating and who I was keeping. So I think we were just on a letter basis. And then it stuck. And do you both love it? Yes, and I like nicknames a lot. Wow, that's crazy. I can't believe how they figured that code out. Wow. Wow.
Do you know what, though? I can relate to the code situation for very different reasons. Not because I'm a princess or anybody cares about anything that I'm doing in my life. But when Matt and I got spat out of The Bachelor, like when that show finished, and for anyone who doesn't know, just to give you the background, my husband, Matty J, he was The Bachelor, I think it was like 2016 maybe, and I met him on that show. So we finished the show together. But when you finish the show, you're not able to be together for almost six months because –
It takes six months from when filming ends until when it actually is on TV screens. I wouldn't know. I got dumped by the honey badger. But please tell us what it was like to be in love after The Bachelor. It's always too soon, isn't it, Britt, for you? Well, the thing is, okay, so even though they don't know for sure that you've won, so like when I say they, like the paparazzi, the media, they don't know for sure who's won. So they follow around the few girls that they think are the numbers one, two, and three. And so for about six months there,
I got followed every single day from the second I left my house until the minute I got home. There was always a paparazzi following me in my car because getting that shot of the bachelor and bachelorette together and spoiling the ending was worth so much money back in those days. It was a really lucrative shot. Imagine how Megan, oh sorry, M&H. Yeah.
Yeah, I know, right? We're a little blip on the radar. So we got told from production that we couldn't have our names saved in each other's phones because sometimes the paps have telescopic lenses, they can see who you're messaging. So I have Matt still to this day saved in my phone as Derek and he has me saved in his phone as Cindy. We had to just pick these names. So the reason why I chose Derek was because Derek was the hot bartender who was working on our season. Yeah.
That is such a weird flex. But it was funny because he got, so all the girls. I think I had the same bartender the season after actually. No, you didn't. Do you know why? Because he got fired. So all the girls were flirting with him instead of putting their focus on Matt. And so he got fired. And so then we had this big ongoing joke that instead of calling him Derek, we started calling Matt Derek. And so that's why he became Derek in my phone. Okay, sidestep. This is very similar to...
Kylie Jenner at the Met Gala. Wow, that was a real link. So, bear with me. The mental gymnastics to get there is a lot. No, because there was a really hot, I want to say escort. He wasn't an escort, but he's the person that was employed by the Met Gala to escort the celebrities up the stairs. When you said escort, I thought you meant... I know, I know. So he would...
He went viral last year because he was so good looking. He did nothing. The poor guy did nothing except be born beautiful. And he was walking her up the steps, escorting her. And he was in a photograph and he went viral, took the attention away from her. And he got sacked because he was too hot and took the attention away. Well, this is exactly what happened to Derek.
Told you. So anyway, we had like quite a funny story. Matt and I, like, you know, he understood and it was all a big joke. Anyway, I remember asking him this one day. I was like, but why Cindy? Why did you pick Cindy for my name? And he goes, oh, it was the name of my first bike. And I was like, that's weird. Bike.
Push bike. Wait for it. I thought motorbike. I was like, oh, yeah, no, boys and their motorbikes. And I was like, that's kind of hot. It wasn't until after the finale happened that I realized, actually, Matt's never ridden a motorbike. He meant about his push bike that he puts lycra on and rides it. And he named that Cindy and then named me the bike.
And I was like, there's a lot of connotations here that I could take as a deeper fence. I got in trouble recently, actually. I'm getting married very soon, my fiancé Ben. But up until recently, Ben had been in my phone as Ben Football Raya because I met him on a dating app, Raya, and he played football.
And he was like, why did you have to be specific about even the football part? And I was like, well, because funnily enough, there was another Ben on rail. I was like, I had to like specify. I had to put them into categories. He's like, now we're getting married. Do you think I could just be like Ben? You're like, no, I have too many of them on my phone. That name is too common. To be fair, I do want to defend my husband for one second. He did love that bike. Anyway. All right. We know because he still rides an electric bike currently.