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cover of episode The Catch Up Trap & How To Speak With Your Friends Who Are Struggling With Fertility. Uncut with Tanya Hennessy

The Catch Up Trap & How To Speak With Your Friends Who Are Struggling With Fertility. Uncut with Tanya Hennessy

2025/2/20
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Life Uncut

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Tanya Hennessy: 我意识到自己陷入了‘赶进度式’友谊的陷阱,总是和朋友们回顾过去的生活,而不是创造新的回忆。这让我感到厌倦,也让我反思这种相处方式的价值。我开始重视创造新的共同体验,从友谊中获得更深层次的快乐,例如和朋友一起出游、做陶艺等。在生育方面,我已经尝试了七轮IVF,经历了多次失败和身体上的痛苦,也经历了流产和宫外孕。我公开分享我的经历,希望能帮助其他有类似困境的人。面对朋友怀孕生子的消息,我感到既高兴又失落,这是一种复杂的情感。我学会了在社交媒体上屏蔽一些内容来保护自己,也珍惜与朋友们在没有孩子干扰的情况下相处的时光。 我呼吁社会关注生育困境,改善医疗体系,为经历流产或IVF失败的人提供更好的心理和医疗支持。我渴望成为母亲,但我也明白,生育并非人生的全部。我努力在工作和生活中寻找快乐,并感谢我的伴侣Tom一直以来的支持和陪伴。 Brittany: 我非常认同Tanya关于‘赶进度式’友谊的观点。在生活中,我们常常忙于与朋友们回顾过去,而忽略了创造新的共同回忆。这种相处方式虽然能维系友谊,但却无法带来更深层次的满足感。我们需要主动创造新的体验,让友谊更加丰富多彩。在生育方面,我理解Tanya的痛苦和挣扎,也体会到在朋友怀孕生子时,如何平衡自身情感和对朋友的祝福。 Laura: 我也深有同感。在朋友们陆续结婚生子后,我们的相处模式发生了变化。我们很难像以前那样轻松地相处,因为大家都有各自的家庭和责任。我们需要找到新的方式来维系友谊,例如在不带孩子的情况下相聚,或者一起参加一些活动。同时,我们也需要理解和支持那些在生育方面遇到困难的朋友,给予他们更多的关怀和理解。

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Today’s guest is one of the most funny, relatable and completely open people we’ve been lucky enough to chat with. Tanya Hennessy is a comedian, radio announcer, TV presenter, multi-bestselling author and content creator. 

We kick this chat off by speaking about something Tanya recently wrote about called the ‘catch up trap’. It’s where we all seem to be just ‘catching up’ with our friends and recapping our lives rather than actually creating new memories together. It can be reflective of the stage of life that we’re in, but it can also make you question whether it’s a good use of our time to just be relaying what we’ve been up to since the last time we spoke. When was the last time you created ‘new’ memories with your friend? Tanya is now all about creating these new memories and seeking deep joy from her friendships. 

Tanya has been very open with her long ‘journey’ with challenging fertility. The main difference is that Tanya speaks about it in real time, not hindsight. Tanya is currently going through the process of her 7th round of IVF and has tried quite literally everything that you could imagine.Something we are often asked during Ask Uncut is how to speak about kids, pregnancy or trying to conceive with a friend that you know has been struggling with their own fertility. Unfortunately there is no one size fits all answer of how to do it right. But, we ask Tanya how she navigates her friendships with her loved ones that have kids, how she responds to social media announcements and things like baby showers etc. Tanya also speaks about the things that we need to address on a systemic level like pregnancy loss care and removing the deafening silence of fertility struggle stigma.

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