Gabriel Iglesias: The Merch Master
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What's up? Wow, there he is. How are you? I'm good. So thanks for coming on the old podcast-a-roon. Dude, this is awesome. I've known you for so many years. Well, I haven't known you, but I've known you for so many years. Oh, thanks. And we meet via technology. I wish we were meeting, you know, in a bar or something or a restaurant or something, but we'll take what we have to. I'm not going to lie. That's probably the most awesome thing I've heard. Right? Oh, dude, this is so cool.

One of the things I love is being reminded that dreams come true and they do come true in show business. Look, there's a lot I don't like about show business. If you've listened to this podcast, you're starting to probably intuit it. It's been really good to me. It's great. It's all great. But let's face it. You guys are real people. You know, there's a lot of bullshit in show business.

But one of the great things about it is people who come from nowhere can come out of nowhere and absolutely crush it. And today we're talking with Gabriel Iglesias, who was working for a cell phone company when he was 21 years old and now is one of the few people ever to sell out the Staples Center and Sydney Opera House and Madison Square Garden.

Just, and one of the nicest guys that I've talked to on the podcast. So I'm really excited. And wait until you hear what this guy has collected. It's a mind blower. Stay tuned. Tuned like you're at radio. Stay tuned on this radio podcast for Gabriel Iglesias. I'm so psyched to talk to you. I can't, I'm just like so in awe of your ability to put asses in the seats when you get out on the road, man. You are the crusher. It is amazing.

I can't believe, like, I'm so... I have my stupid little one-man show that I do, and I can't even imagine what it would be like to have the kind of following you have. It's so cool. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, well, 23 years in the making. And thanks to technology, that helped out quite a bit. Because I don't think comedians could have had followings like this years ago. There was no way to get it out there. I remember when the internet...

was new. Like people would be like, there's this guy, Dane Cook, and he talks to every person on his phone afterwards. And like, it was like,

I just remember like my agents being like, you need to do more on social media because Dane Cook has created his following after his concerts by social media. So probably right. I think a lot of entertainers, not just comedians. Oh, Dane Cook a lot for a play for trailblazing that one, him and Tila Tequila, even though they don't like her anymore. They were the first ones to really grab hold of, of that just social media. I don't even think it had a name yet. It was just called MySpace. Yeah.

And they ran with it. And everybody saw the arenas that were getting filled up, like basketball teams that couldn't even sell out their own places. Dane was going in there and kicking ass and taking names. And it was because of MySpace. And so by the time I jumped on,

You know, it was kind of too late. Everybody had moved on to Facebook, but then I jumped in. Now I'm on TikTok. I don't know how that happened. Okay, well, there's a lot to unpack here. Okay, so first of all, I have two questions. One, and then I want to, don't let me forget because I have like a mind like a gerbil. I forget things fast.

And then I'm screwed, but cause I want to talk about Tik TOK in a minute. But so what do you think those guys were doing? Like, like what was Dane doing in the early days? You, you do the show, you'd sell whatever you sold. It was great. You'd go back to the hotel room and you'd, you're on the, the, the, well, my space. What's, what are you saying? Did you like the show? Did you not like the show? What's, what do you think he was doing? That was so revolutionary. Um, at the time, uh,

The only real way to get your name out there was obviously if you did television, if you had a TV show, because a lot of times comics wanted TV shows so that they could have that exposure so that then they could use that to go sell tickets for regular shows. There was radio. People go on morning shows and, you know, power this or mega that. They'd go to other shows or old school flyers. You would print out, you'd go to a...

some graphic artist in his garage and make flyers. And you would take the flyers and you'd physically either yourself or you'd hire somebody to put them on cars near the comedy clubs that you were going to be performing at to get your name out. Or you'd talk to people. That was something different back then. You'd actually talk to people and say, Hey, you know, I do comedy. Would you like to come see a show? Here's two free tickets and you know, blah, blah, blah.

And that's how they did it back then. And so when this whole internet took off, it was just like, whoa, you were able to touch not just the people in the parking lot, you were able to take this all over the planet. And so by uploading your content, you record your content and put it out there, encourage people to share it if they liked it. And that's how you got a name.

That's amazing. And so now, so TikTok, are you doing dances and what have you? By the way, my part of my brand is old white guy who understands nothing. So it's like...

I'm like, that's my brand now. I'm leaning into it. I'm like, TikTok, are you? That's the dancing app, is it not? My kids love it. I love that you still have to try to make that voice because you don't look it. Seriously, you do not look it. Oh, my God. I've aged like 19 different ways since...

You're so nice. I want to age at the Rob Lowe level. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. I made you like a dog, man. You're aging like one of those Greenland sharks that lives to be 400. I love it. Somebody told me that I had terminal Benjamin Button disease. You know? I'm going to be a baby in diapers in another decade. Oh, man.

Can I just tell you this one? People might say, oh, he's kissing his ass. But at this point, I don't care, man. I'm talking to Rob Lowe. Yeah, come on, baby. Let me tell you something. I'm a huge Marvel fan, and I watch all the movies and just a huge fan. My favorite character is Iron Man, and clearly that's played by Robert Downey Jr. And I always say, if Robert Downey Jr. couldn't have been Iron Man, I think Rob Lowe would have been an awesome Iron Man. Thank you. I would have loved to. I would have loved to have been Iron Man. That would have been great. I mean...

And, you know, Downey and I go way back. You know, we were in sixth grade history class together. Man, is that crazy? I'll ask you questions off the thing. I mean, I mean, it's amazing when you think about it. You got Iron Man sitting next to you.

So good. Those were the days, though. Those are the days. So we tell me about. So what are you doing on TikTok? What kind of stuff are you doing, man? So I'm TikTok. And by the way, I just found it interesting that with TikTok, my numbers grew like just overnight, whereas I had to really, really work. My space and I had given up on my space. I'm sorry. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

I never jumped on Snapchat because I always said, ah, Snapchat, that's for kids. I'm not trying to get on that. I'm not trying to. And I fought it and fought it and fought it. Never got on it. And I missed out on an opportunity to, you know, further expose my career. And so when TikTok came out, I jumped on it. I can honestly say I was one of the first comics to start using it. And the numbers just overnight, I surpassed my Instagram numbers and my Twitter numbers within months.

And just by making silly videos. So, yeah, I would I dance? Yeah, I would dance. I would do all kinds of random just, you know, little costume changes, stuff that I wouldn't do on the set. I was doing these little, you know, 30 second clips. Costume changes. And I think also, too, right now. Yeah. Costume change. I think right now people are bored and I know I don't I don't want to do stand up if I can't do stand up.

Meaning that people are asking, how come you don't go online and do a standup show? And I'm like, cause it's not the same. You don't have that feedback from the audience. And it's, it's a watered, watered down version of what you really do. Like when you say arenas and now you're in a living room and hey everybody, what's up? It's, it's not the same. Yeah. TikTok, you don't have to take it serious. Would you consider using the old laugh track from the Brady Bunch?

You know what I'm talking about. When we were kids, do you ever notice that the same laugh track was on every show? The canned laugh? Yeah. The Brady Bunch, the Partridge. And there was always one guy would, you could always hear like that one laugh. It was the best. That guy that had emphysema didn't even know it. Anyway, I had read a thing that said that if you watch a show from the 90s, you're probably hearing it.

laughter from those old shows, those... Dead people. Yeah, basically. You're hearing the laughter of dead people. Dead people. It's like looking at the light of a star. If you're looking at the light and you're seeing it, the star is long dead. If you're watching a show in the 90s and hearing somebody laugh, that person was recording laughing so many years ago, they're long dead. Yeah, no, for real. But...

So as far as the laugh track to do a show, I saw Bill Maher do that on his show, but he's making fun of that. So he'll crack a joke and then you hear a laugh track, but then he'll show the audience and the audience is black and white. So that, you know, clearly it's not the same. It's not the same. And this is the longest I've gone without doing stand up. I miss it, but I won't go back to it until it's in a place where people feel comfortable being around each other.

Yeah, no, that makes sense. I mean, that's it's one of the just happy accidents about launching this podcast for me. It happened at a time when I have the time to do it. And because, you know, usually I would be in front of a camera on a set with 250 people.

And so it's been a really good – not only has it been a good use of my time, but it's become equally important to me as anything else I've been doing. There's nothing I hate worse than dilettantes, people who kind of dip their toe into something because everybody's doing it. And then – you know what I'm saying? It's like if I'm in it, I'm in it to win it. And this has been –

It's, it's, it's been awesome, but, but maybe I, would you recommend I have a laugh track on this? Would you recommend that? No, no, not at all. Not at all. I'm still trying to process the word dilettantes. You know, you know where I learned it? Some of us didn't have sixth grade history with Downey. That's right. He would tell you all about it. Downey was also in, he was also in Madrigals. Do you know what Madrigals are? We've heard of Madrigals. Anybody, anybody out there? I,

So this is tells you how much public education has changed. We went to we didn't go to fancy schools. I went to Santa Monica High School. That's a big, giant factory, you know, of public education. And and but there was still a culture where you you could go and take madrigals and madrigals was Latin hymnal choir.

Oh, wow. Yeah. So you would. So instead of like, you know, oh, yeah, I got six period. I'm doing choir. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's like AM top 40 compared to Madrigals. And so be like, yes, I go. So I love me like that kind of stuff. And Downey was the crusher.

That sounds like the kind of music that's used like in evil movies. Yes, 100%. The devil's about to come out. Yes. That's what that music is? That type of music would be sung in a madrigal choir. Wow. Okay. And yeah, so Downey was, I got to get him on the show. He says he's coming on.

But I think he's scared to face the music of Madrigals. Madrigals. Are you a big weightlifter? On my notes, it says you love yoga. I want to know what your workout is because I love knowing what people are up to. That's actually a typo. I love yogurt.

Oh, yeah. It makes much sense. I did yoga for a spell. And, you know, it just is one of those things. If you don't stick with it, you go back to just being stiff. But I do lift weights. I'm

I'm not going to say I love it. I have a trainer that shows up here and makes me lift because I really should. I need to take better care of myself. So it's not something that I do for fun. I'm not that bored where I'm like, I got to lift. So you're not – you haven't gotten that bug yet. See, I did – I got the – I hated working out and training and all of it until I –

Years ago, I did a movie where I had to play a professional hockey player. And so I had to learn how to do – I had to get – I was too skinny. I was like this little Twiggy. I looked like Twiggy, the female model. And you don't want to see Twiggy out on the ice. Just not believable, I don't think. So I had to put on weight. I had to do this whole thing. And I learned how to do it. And I ended up loving it. And it's like I'm obsessed with it. My addiction, my addict has moved from drugs and alcohol to working out. Like –

you know, in the 80s. Yeah, right. It's a good thing though. I mean, you know what, by the way, I've only heard one other person say that working out was their addiction.

Was it somebody cool, I hope? One of my assistants. He's like, I'm addicted to lifting. And I'm like, you know, you could be addicted to like, you know, so many other things. But okay, working out. I'd never heard anybody say it. So now, you know, bro, Rob Lowe confirmed that it's an addiction. It's a good thing. I mean, like, look, you know, in the 80s, I would be spending all my time thinking about how quickly can I get to the Hard Rock Cafe and have a kamikaze and some tootski.

And, you know, now I'm like, how quickly can I get to the gym and pound off some high intensity training reps? You know, it's a lot of growth, really. A lot of growth here. Hold that thought. We'll be right back.

All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I'll never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel. ♪

Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. Okay, you know one of my favorite things that you've done, dude, is...

When you do Family Guy, when you were on Family Guy and you would do the entire voice of the Mexican family? By the way, I only got paid for one character, but Seth had me voice all these different Mexicans. He's such a cheap, he's a cheap, cheap bastard. But at the end of the day, one check, one check. He's like, hey, man, I'm doing like five different voices. Like, whatever, it's your show.

But yeah, that was fun. Did he yell at you in the booth? When I did Family Guy, Seth's only director was louder.

Did he tell you to be louder? Like, I mean, I don't think I'm quiet, but apparently he was just... It felt like he was yelling, but I think it's because he had the headphones on. Because it's like, he's right there next to you. I thought most voiceovers, and I'm sure you've done several, it's just you. You don't have the director in the booth with you in your face. And he's right there next to you. And he's just like, okay, do it again. Here we go. But the whole time he's got the headphones on. So yeah, he was yelling, but I don't think he knows he was yelling. It is. It's really impressive though, actually, that, you know, at this point,

That thing is such a cultural juggernaut icon and that he would even be there. And, you know, I came in for two or three lines and he was right there. And it's a great lesson. I always try to figure out where the lessons are in life. And the lesson is, you know, all the people I admire, the auteurs, the people who really have created something, there's no detail that is too small. None. No detail is too small.

And he's very passionate about it. He's very protective of it. So he wants to make sure that every single part of it is done just right. And I get it. And like you said, anybody who's been that level of, had that level of success, they've been that involved with what they do. For sure. And I love that show. They make a lot of fun of me on that show. So, yeah.

I really, you know what? Anytime you get made fun of on that show, that just means you've made that much of an impact in your career. So they're not making fun of you for looking bad. I also love, you have a collection of VW buses. That is the most obscure. Is this true? Because I'm obsessed with VW buses. Oh yeah. Yeah. I've got about 30 of them. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. I know. You have 30 VWs?

VW buses. That's pretty random, right? I have an actual Volkswagen museum. I can say that I have more Volkswagen buses than the actual Volkswagen museum in Germany. That was my, when I went there, I was like, I got more. I thought that was pretty cool. What? Okay. But do you have a turtle top model? Nice. See, see, I have many. I've never heard of the turtle top model. That's weird.

The turtle top? You mean a bug or? No, of the van, the VW van, right? That's what we're talking about, the vans, the old with the sliding door. Split window. Yeah. Yeah. No, because when I was a kid, we had one and I wanted to get the turtle top. The turtle top was just the one, the top that came up and there was like a little camper compartment on top. Yeah. Yeah.

So I have one of those and the rest are just regular cruisers. You know what? I'm wondering if I could, can I detach? No,

I can attach. And you know what? I'm going to take you for a little tour. Oh, yes. I'm going to take you for a little tour. That's my buddy Juan right here. That's the guy. Hey, man. How are you? He's addicted to working out. You go, Juan. All right. I'm going to take you outside so you can just take a quick look at this and then we'll come back in here where the lighting's good. Dude, I love wherever you are. You look like you're at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It looks unbelievable. Yes. It's my compound. So take a look at this place. What the living? Are you kidding? What?

Okay, there are more amazing cars that I am looking at right now. My mouth is on the... Dude, my mouth is on the floor. Oh, these are fucking amazing. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? Volkswagen, car... This is... I'm speechless. I've been doing this podcast a while now. You've rendered me speechless. Please keep going. I'm loving this. Oh, my God. Rob Lowe just said, keep going. Yeah, I'm doing it right. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude. So...

It just keeps going all the way down. And then here's something really cool. I was on a show called Tanked a few years ago, and they knew that my love for Volkswagens was real, and they made me fish tanks. No way. Yeah. I'm looking at a Volkswagen, a vintage, two vintage Volkswagens that are completely filled like an aquarium. Unbelievable.

Real. What are the, what are the, okay, what's the most expensive, what's the most valuable one? What's the most valuable VW bus? Oh, dude, I don't even know. I mean, they've gone as high as a quarter of a mil for one. Wow. Right now to get one in really horrible shape, just to say you have one, you can still get about 10 to 15 grand.

for uh just a pile of junk when was the last year that they were made uh like this well there's there's different models there's the original one that came out in 1950 and uh they're they're about to bring them back again uh i have from 1952 all the way to 1975 whoa since i'm giving you so for here this is my little marvel collection oh there it is no kidding

You got everybody up there. Do you have the guy who sang in the madrigal choir? Can you pick up Iron Man and make him sing some Latin shit? There he is. Where's he at? He's right up. He's right there. I'm just going to do the scary, the scary voice, scary music.

It's really good. I have my washers and dryers here. See, the whole idea behind this, I collect washers and dryers. I was going to say. The whole idea behind this building when I first put it together was I wanted to have my own studio. I saw that there was a lot of people doing their own thing. They didn't need Hollywood. So I said, you know what? I got the money right now. Let me buy this building. Let me make a studio. Let me have my own makeup area, my own wardrobe area, my own production area. That whole spot where you see all the cars, that used to just be space where I would do production.

And little by little, I realized, ah, you know what? Maybe I got into it a little too over my head when wanting to have production because I wasn't doing enough production. Most of the stuff I was able to do just like this without making it bigger than it really needed to be.

And I hooked up with Jay Leno and I was telling him about my space. And he goes, sounds like you should put some cars in there. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And then I got to hang out at his spot. Jay's the one that got that started. He put me in touch with his car guys. Next thing I knew, I had a Volkswagen. Then I had two, three, four. I built that collection in under five years. What was it about, you can collect any car in the world. Jay Leno, who is the- First car. Yeah.

he's the he's the the the king of it why did you pick that of all the things you could pick it was my first car and that was your first car and so yeah to be in love with your first car and to be able to get it back and then just multiply it you know just it seemed fun i like the car it's such a fun car it's so easy and it's just cool and it's so throwback and just it's really really cool um

Seinfeld was known for the Porsches and Jay with those collection of cars. And I have no problem, you know, cause Jay goes, it's so boring. You have the same car over and over and over. I go, dude, I picked the coolest car. And so if people associate me with those, that's what I want.

So I love it. I enjoy it. And they all run. They can all handle the freeway. They can all carry people. They're functional. Now, I feel embarrassed at my original question that started us on this thing. It's like I feel like I asked Michael Jordan. So you enjoy the sport of basketball. Am I reading this correctly? That's that's how I feel right now. Yeah. Anytime you want to tour, man. Yeah.

We've got to give shop. Where is that, this amazing space that you have? Long Beach, California. Because, you know, I love people who – I want to get to the point where I can build my own professional compound. I've been to Oprah's. She had a great one in Chicago. Yeah.

Um, Tyler Perry obviously has a crazy one in Atlanta. I've not seen. Um, but that one you're, you're right up there, man. You're, you're swimming with the big fish with, with what I just saw. I mean, that was the building. It's, it's its own, you know, it's like I said, it's, it's its own little mini museum. And, uh, I collect Volkswagen's and muscle cars. Some of them you might've seen on the walkout. Um, but you know, it's also, it's my place of business. So every business gets ran out of here. That's awesome. Um,

You know, you and I have something in common. We both worked with Steven Soderbergh. You did the Magic Mike movies, obviously, which were great. Those movies are so fun, right? I mean, there's just it's fun because of the people you're working with, because, I mean, you've been on sets, I'm sure, where you've had the best time ever. And you've been on sets where you're like, oh, my God, this is not not another day.

Yes. Right. It's all the people that make it good or bad. And working with Steven was awesome. By the way, that was my first real, real movie. No. And yeah, to get to have your Hollywood thing broken by Soderbergh, that's, you know, first time out, I'm working with Soderbergh, Channing Tatum, McConaughey. I'm like, are you kidding me?

And here I go like, well, okay. I was just telling jokes last week in Nebraska and now I'm here doing a movie. So that for me was mind blowing. It was, it was awesome. How'd you, how'd you end up being in the movie? Channing is a fan of mine and he had called and asked me to, you know, basically be come and read, not even audition, just come and read it and be in the movie. It was, it was that easy. I was just like, wow. Okay. And to get there and have so many people already know me. So it was like, it was weird.

And it's different if you go to a comedy club or you're at a show venue, but to be in a Hollywood, real legit Hollywood environment and be called out, hey, my kids and I will watch you and this and that. And I'm like, oh, my God, I hope I don't screw this up. Oh, that is what a great opening moment.

You almost kind of go, well, time to quit. I did this with all these guys. I don't really need to do another movie. And it was a hit. Yeah, so that's... I was excited about doing that. And then to get asked to do the second one, I was just like, wow, okay, there's more. This is awesome. And it's a great one. I mean, I think I like the sequel a ton. They're both really great. I just remember...

Every girl, woman in the world was just so obsessed with that movie. And I remember reading about it going, I don't know about this movie. And then you see it and you're like, oh, yeah, this is so fun. So let me tell you, promoting the movie Magic Mike is really, really challenging when your whole career and your brand is about family.

and family environment. And so now you're going to go from that to promoting. Yes. You know, McConaughey had to work out really strangely for six months to fit in that thong. It was such a shift. It's like, yeah. Okay. So you're in what movie? Magic Mike. You know, people would find out I was in that movie. They'd want to meet me. And then they're like, you, you were not in magic Mike. You were in tragic Mike. Look at you. Like, no, no, no, no. That's no, no.

That was a tough one to sell too. You were in that really, you, you were in magic, Mike. Yeah. I was in magic. Mike. Not like, yeah, man. That's why they called it magic. Did, um, CGI, CGI. And see, cause since it was your first movie, you probably thought all movies were made the way that Steven Soderbergh makes movies. And the way he makes movies is, I mean, I did a movie with him called behind the candelabra and, uh,

On the last day of shooting, everybody has their champagne. They're going to celebrate the last day of shooting. Right. And he says, hey, everybody, we're going to celebrate. And I just I just like 15 minutes and I'll be back and we'll celebrate. He leaves and everybody talks and waits for him and he comes back and he's got his laptop.

And he says, I would just like to let you know that we are not only celebrating the wrap of the movie, but I have also finished my first cut as a director. And they clink glasses. He had cut the movie while we were shooting it. I mean, it's unheard of.

He's badass. Did he actually show you guys? He was always, well, he showed me on the days that I worked, the scenes that we had shot the day before, the day before. The day before. Shot all day, all day, 12 hours. We're back on the set 12 hours later and he has all the scenes cut as exactly like they're going to go in the movie. And the other thing that was great is he operates the camera himself. And I always knew that

Things were going well when I'd see him sort of his body shaking behind the camera and see that he was he was laughing and they he moves so fast. There's really nobody like him. I think we're both really lucky that we got to to work with him and also just to see how how how much you can do and how quickly you can do it without all of the sort of artifice that goes on with with most people.

Most movies. Now, you're a big Marvel fan. I assure you, those movies are not short like that. No. Can you imagine, though? Oh, man. What would a Soderbergh Marvel movie be? Okay, I want to start an online petition. A trillion dollars? Yes.

I want to see a Steven Soderbergh Marvel movie. That would be the absolute greatest thing I could possibly imagine. Oh, man. I don't know if he'd agree with you. I know. Why? Yes. We know that. And we'll be right back after this.

All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I'll never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel. ♪

Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. I am a big stats accomplishment guy. I also love, here's another one of your great accomplishments. Very few people have sold out both Madison Square Gardens, Staples Center, and wait for it, the Sydney Opera House. Yeah. Dude.

Tell me about the Sydney Opera House. That's really cool. And you know what I think was funny is that I had, when I did that show in Australia, I want to say there was probably a thousand Americans that were at that show. Really? I mean, the majority was Australian, but when I said, is there any Americans here? I was like, oh, wow. And I says, I remember saying, I says, who would have ever thought you'd see the day where Americans would go to another country to see a Mexican?

Right. It was, it was, it was a good time. It was a good time. Australia is one of my, uh, one of my favorite markets. Uh, my, definitely my favorite country outside of the United States. There is so, so much fun. I feel like, um, I agree with you. If I, if I were going to live anywhere else, I mean, I love, I love the UK. There's a lot about the UK. I love too, but there's something about Australia. Um, it reminds me of going back in a time capsule to what California might've been like, uh,

In a lot of ways. And for somebody like me who loves to be outdoors and surfs and does all that stuff, it's so good. But the thing that's insane is that you are so far away. It is like you have no comprehension to what down under means until you go there and realize you might as well be on another planet in terms of geography. Yeah.

Yeah, and when you think about how they discovered Australia, I mean, you can find it now, clearly, because we've got technology. But back then, when people would sail, you know, to sail and get it just right, like, how'd you even know? No, I... I won't get in my car unless I turn on the GPS. Well, drive to Hawthorne? I don't know how to do it unless I turn on the little, you know... Do you remember, were you in LA in the days when we had to look at the, what were those maps? Thomas Guide. The Thomas Guide. Yeah. Yeah.

Remember those? Racking my brain. I got an audition and then you got to get the pages and line up and get the sheet. Yeah. A little tape and put on the dash. I got this. I'm telling you, if you didn't drive yourself to an audition using a Thomas guide,

You weren't really in show business, right? Yeah, you're spoiled. You're spoiled with your little Garmin. Well, I don't even think, I think the Garmin, does they still have Garmins? Or basically, they use your phone now. Yeah, no, now everybody's like, has their own ring light and does a self-tape in their, you know, in their, you know, living room. You and I are out there beating the pavement. What do you have to get in the traffic? There are Thomas guides, or for me, getting on the bus. It was like, you know. Cussing out people on the 405, yeah, yeah.

Right? Yeah, no, that'll discourage you real quick. If you can't hang on that 401k, I gotta go where? Are you kidding?

The part's not even that big. Have you ever been in a really gnarly wreck in one of your fancy cars? No. I will only drive the cars when the conditions are right. So if it's raining, I'm not taking the cars out. And if it's a busy time of the day, I try not to take them out. So, you know, I stick to weekends or just in the middle of the day. And that's when I can take them out and about. And what's your favorite drive?

I call it the lap because I'll leave my building and I'll just, I'll take a small little lap around. I'll either go to Seal Beach, Huntington Beach, just drive down the Pacific Coast Highway. I like to drive it right by the beach. Kind of gives a little extra like, oh, a little nostalgia there. And then everybody loves seeing them. So you're just getting thumbs up everywhere. Like, hey, so they'll see the car and then they'll see the driver and they're like, it'll be like a double. Like, hey. Yeah, right. Right.

But it's a nice drive. I don't need to go very far in them. You know, I got reliable cars that I can use to drive to San Diego or wherever else I want to go. But the buses, I keep them nearby. What kind of thing have you been concocting during this COVID? Because I know I've been talking to a bunch of people on the show and a lot of people, some people started writing books that they never thought they would write. Some people are celebrating the fact that they're doing absolutely nothing

living like, like, ah, I, I can be good in my own company. Where, where are you on that spectrum? Uh,

Well, when everything first went down, I'd say the first three weeks was just more so like, what am I doing? What's going on? What's going to happen? It was more just freaking out, not really having a plan or anything. And eventually I got to a point where I'm like, you know what, let me try this sleep thing that I haven't had ever. And I started getting a lot of really, really good sleep. I was averaging eight to 10 hours at one point. And so, I mean, I noticed I'd function so much better. I'm like, wow, that's what it's like.

So I caught up on a lot of rest and I have my own merch company. So like when I go on the road and I do my shows, I sell stuff after the shows. And so I took that and I just, you know, started doing it online. And we've been selling stuff here from the building and people are bored. They want they want something. So I've been I've been selling and promoting my my Funko Pop. I made a yeah, you've seen these, right?

Oh yeah. Yeah. The heads. Yeah. The new version of the bobblehead with the, yeah. Basically. So this company, man, every year they kill it at Comic-Con. You know, everybody wants these and,

I said, I'd be cool to have one of myself. And I reached out to the company a few years ago and they were like, well, we don't really know who you are. We don't think that there'd be a demand for you. And so I'm like, no, look, look, I got stats and numbers and I know that I could do well with this. I already sell merch of myself. I know what I can do. And they weren't feeling it. And so we tried again a couple of years later and they said, all right, we'll tell you what, if you order so many units, we won't sell it, but you can sell it.

I was like, all right. And they're like, really? And they're like, it's going to cost this much. And I said, okay. And they're like, really? Yeah. Next thing you know, here comes a giant truck. They're unloading everything. And this was that figure. And now we're getting ready to release the second one. But I was very happy because I'm number one. I'm the first comedian, first comedian to have one.

So that for me was a big deal. So I'm the first comedian. And I got the first one and the second one. And now other comics are jumping on board. Like Jeff Dunham just recently came out with one. And I know that Joe Coy is going to be producing one very soon as well. Just spoke to Joe Coy. Did he tell you he loves you? He was very happy to be on the show. Good.

I don't know how he sleeps. He has more energy than anyone I know. He's just got an incredible energy about him and an aura and he just doesn't stop. Right. It's true. Okay. So I'm obsessed with merch. We did some, we're starting to do some merch on, on this show. Tell me you're the, you're the master. You are the master of merch. Tell me what I need to know about merch. And what I'm thinking is like, whatever you do,

don't go down the rabbit hole of coffee mugs. They're very underrated. No one likes them. I mean, is there, what's the counterintuitive merch knowledge that I'm looking for? I sold coffee mugs. I've, uh, I've, you know, it's one of those things you don't know until you try it. And so you just got to grab a whole bunch of ideas, apply your brand to those ideas and throw it out there and see what people like and see what people don't like. I

I thought refrigerator magnets were going to kill it. And right now, if you need some magnets, I got you. See, but this is exactly. Let me know. This is exactly what I'm. This is exactly what I'm saying is, you know, there's stuff you think is cool. And then it's like, turns out it's crickets. People like, I don't know, fucking refrigerator magnets. I would think that would be a good idea. That,

The merch game is, it might as well be your own personal Vegas. You're gambling. You're gambling on yourself and you're taking a chance that what you're coming up with might work. You're not going to know, again, what might work for one person might not work for another. I thought it would be a no brainer for me to sell Hawaiian shirts because I figured I wear Hawaiian shirts.

I found a company that can make them relatively, you know, for good price and try to sell them. And man, I could not move Hawaiian shirts. You would be the big guy that wears Hawaiian shirts. And I couldn't, I couldn't move them. Now, maybe if I would have had another company helping me to do that, maybe that would have been a different case, but me trying to do it solo, it didn't fly. However, me selling a regular t-shirt with just some squiggly lines, my logo, that actually was a hit. And so I built most of this off of those t-shirts and,

And then, of course, there was other things that we added, like little minifigures, plush dolls. The Funko was just this year. So, yeah, I was going to ask you what the most successful thing you had was. It's the T-shirts. Straight up T-shirt. And then, of course, you know, over the years, CDs, DVDs. Sorry if it sounds like a zoo. Let them in. I got a bunch of dogs here. Here's my favorite.

Okay. I have a contest for you. How many dogs you got there right now? Cause I'm going to beat you. I got three, but this, Oh my God. That is amazing. That Chihuahua is amazing. No way. Are you kidding me with that damn thing? That is, that is all time. That dog.

You know what's crazy? She's 15 years old. Oh, that's really old for a chihuahua. Yeah, that is ancient. That's ancient for any dog. Oh my gosh, she's amazing. And what's her name? This is Risa. That's like Lisa with an R because you can put a little roll in it. Risa. And she's... For those of you who can't see, her tongue is sticking out permanently. That's amazing. That dog's tongue is sticking out all the time. You can't make it up. She's...

She's 80% anger and the rest is love. But she's still huffing and puffing because we've got people here. And then pass them over here. By the way, that face should be your logo or something. Yeah. And then I got Vinny right here. So...

Okay, I don't know which I would be more excited to see if I came to visit you. The VW Bugs are these insane dogo's that you have going on here. The baby dingo's. I have six dogs here today. Oh, wow. Is that even legal? No, the truth of it is I should have a kennel license.

That's the truth. Once you get above it's five, you are officially a kennel.

Nice. Today, I have a kennel, although two of them are visitors. So I'm fine. Just what I need. I already have, you know, four dogs. Why I'm having two visit, I don't know. But that's what's going on here at this house today. Oh, well, it's pretty quiet. So whatever you're doing, man, it's... I'm in a bomb-proof chamber. Anytime I talk, these guys are like, let me in. They have to be in the room. If they're in the room, they're cool. But if they're out of the room, then they're going to just be loud until I open the door. So I've just learned to accept that I have to, you know...

He's very, I mean, I can barely concentrate because that dog is extra cute. Since we're talking about animals, it's a perfect segue into, I like to ask people, I have a questionnaire thing called the low down that I do. And they're just quick fire questions. And I'm going to lead off if you're happy to be in the low down with me. And I think you're down to clown. Down to clown on the low down. Down to clown on the low down. Good. Good.

Did you think Bugs Bunny was attractive when he dressed up like a woman? No. No? No. God. I've asked this to a number of people. I am the only one. I wasn't like, hey, he's funny. Oh, hot. No. Yes. That's what didn't happen. It did for me, though. So what's wrong with me, do you think? Hey, absolutely nothing, man. Whatever floats your boat. Yeah.

Somebody, I forget who I asked that question, he goes, no, but I was attracted when Porky Pig wore high heels, which made me laugh. Okay, yeah. Would you rather see a UFO, a ghost, or Bigfoot? And if you did, would you tell anybody? I think all three would scare me, would terrify me probably, but I think the one that

would be the most like, wow, have the most impact would probably be a UFO. And so I'm assuming you've never seen one. Unless I was camping, unless I was camping. And then of course, Bigfoot would win because it's the forest. But no, no, I've never seen one. I've seen a lot of cars in my neighborhood that I don't recognize. Equally scary. Yeah. Well, the next question is really, really good for you because having just seen

The sort of scene you've got set up for yourself. If your house was on fire and you could only grab one thing, what would it be? Did your, your, you're in a world of trouble over there. I mean, I don't know where you got your bobblehead. You got 75,000 VW buses. What, what's your most prized possession?

These guys. So I'll grab them and then head for the hills. Because I've asked myself that question. Well, the most important thing would be, you know, make sure that no one's in here and that my dogs are out. Once the people are out and the dogs are out, if I had to grab, you know, just one thing,

I mean, all the cars are insured, so that's not an issue. The building's insured. Look, this is the first thing that ever have my name on it. Oh, look at this. It's a poster.

A poster, a comedy night poster from 1997. How did you save it? How did you know to save it? Just because it was the first thing you were like, I'm going to save this. It was the first thing. And I figured, you know what? I might not ever have anything else with my name on it. This because also my name's prominent on it. My name's the biggest one on there.

You had a good agent. Did you have an agent then? Or you just were smart enough to go like, Hey, make my name bigger. How'd that work out? I think they just figured since the last time was Iglesias, that part's already famous. So they said, well, let's gamble on this guy and, uh, and see what's up. But yeah, that was a show that I did in Tucson, Arizona. Uh, what was the date? July 9th, 1997. So I was doing comedy for a couple of months and I already had my first road gig. And, uh,

So they had those posters everywhere and I grabbed one and I rolled it up and I took really good care of it and got on that flight and came back home and just saved it and put it in a frame. Were you ever tempted as you were new and struggling to pass yourself off as a legitimate Iglesias? Like there's a world in which you just, you're like, look-

This is Julio Iglesias' cousin, and he kills it. As a comic, right? Yeah. I always had people asking the question. A lot of people would ask the question, hey, man, are you related to Julio? Forever it was Julio, and then, of course, right around the 90s, it turned into, or I'm sorry, the early 2000s, it was Enrique. But yeah, it was always a question, but I never thought about Julio.

Because I don't look anything like the other. So there was never that. Oh, yeah, I'm so-and-so. And you'll get this or you'll get that. But something interesting, I'm trying to find it so I could show you because I think it's like it was really, really cool. You know, I'll just go to my Instagram and pull that up right here about the whole Julio Iglesias Enrique thing. This had come out. And I don't know if you can see it right there.

Oh, that's amazing. The heading, it says, Julio Iglesias has a huge family, but is he related to Gabriel? This is the first time I had ever seen anything in writing where they said, is Julio related to me versus the other way around? And when I read that, I was like, I made it. Yes. I reached the top of the Iglesias mountain. Yes.

Everybody has that moment in their careers where they go, you know what? I never thought I'd live to see the day. That for me would be the mic drop. If I were in a glaciers,

That would be the mic drop. That's it right there. All Iglesias have the same story. They say that the story of the last name comes from Spain. Iglesias in Spanish is churches. The story was that there was a kid, orphan, left on the doorstep of a church. And they didn't know what kind of a last name to give him. So they just gave him church, you know, Iglesias.

And so they say that all iglesias from everywhere come from that original one. That's a story that we've all been told. Wow. And I actually asked Enrique, and he goes, oh, yeah, I've heard that story. And I was like, okay, cool. Yeah. So it's everybody. Clearly, that's not the case. And I'm sure if we did a DNA test, it'd probably be more related to a banana in Brazil than Enrique. But you never know.

That's awesome. Well, this has been great. I love having you on the show. I love getting to meet you finally. You know, I've followed you forever and to have you on this has been great. Thanks for taking time out of working on the VWs. I know you probably just are like underneath there working on them yourself, right? I mean, or... No. No.

I don't know. I'm not like JJ. I give Jay a lot of credit. Jay's hands on. He's getting his hands dirty. He's fixing cars and getting all oil everywhere. Like, man, I spent too much money on manicures. I ain't trying to mess with those engines. I play a pro who handles it because I love it. And when it comes to making sure it's done right, professional has to do it. That's right. I don't want to be a watchmaker. I just want to have good watches. That's the way I look at it. I totally get the vibe. I could not agree more, by the way.

All right. Thank you, man. You've been great. Appreciate you. Thank you. Open invite anytime you want to come check this place out. Yeah, I want the 1972. That's what my family had. We had the red and white 1972 VW bus. Sick. Sick. I appreciate it, man. And hey, if Marvel calls, don't say no. Well, if you talk to Marvel, tell them to call me. I know a guy. I know a guy. All right, brother. Thank you. Thank you again. Much respect. You too. Take care, man.

Okay, I want one of those VW Bugs so badly. I mean, it's funny. It's not something you think you are going to think is all that cool, and then you see them all lined up, and you're like, oh, yeah, I want one of those. That was fun. What a wonderful, sweet man, and that dog. I love that dog. All right, I'm going to go play with my dogs. That's inspired me. My kennel that I've got going on here. If you work for the ASPCA or law enforcement,

Please do not come to my house and arrest me for what you've just learned. All right. It is time for the lowdown line. Hello. You've reached literally in our lowdown line where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-4551. So have at it. Here's the beep. Hi.

Hi, Rob. This is Amelia. I'm 25 from Chicago. So this might sound a little strange, but I was really excited when I learned that you were deaf in one ear because I am too, and I work in TV behind the scenes. And it's super rare that I get to meet someone who's also partially deaf, but especially in this industry. So I was wondering if you have any funny or frustrating stories from a time when you were on set where you either didn't hear something or have to pretend that you heard something.

Thanks for being so open. Love the podcast. Oh, Amelia, welcome to the half-deaf club. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Isn't it weird having like one ear that works? And it's really weird in like doing this or when you go on live television.

And they stick that IMFB. What the hell is it called, people? FMB, IMB, whatever the damn thing is that they put in your ear and they talk to you in the control room. I can never hear anybody. I always feel like I'm doing a live stand-up from Mars. To me, that's the hard part. I'll tell you the other hard part, and this is only stuff that is relatable doing what I do, but it's stuff you never really would think of, is like doing stunts. Like I'll be...

You know, we're doing a stunt this week on 9-1-1 Lone Star and they're going to let a firebomb off. And I can't hear people. I'm like, so the fire's going to go on action? What? And then everybody has the face masks on, of course. And that's no good. So I listen. I think it's a great thing that we can only hear in one ear because we can sleep on that ear forever.

And we don't have to have earplugs. We put that one ear down on that pillow, man, and we are gonzo. And that's our leg up. I'm telling you. Don't ever forget it. It's all good. Thanks for your question. And I will see you next week on Literally with me, Rob Lowe. You have been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe. Produced and engineered by me, Devin Tory Bryant.

Executive produced by Rob Lowe for Lowe Profile. Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Stitcher. The supervising producer is Aaron Blairt. Talent producer, Jennifer Sampras. Please rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. And remember to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.

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