Natasha Leggero: Anything for the Laugh
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Welcome to Literally with me, Rob Lowe. My guest today, Natasha Leggero.

an amazingly spriteful, effervescent, really funny comedian, writer, producer, star, stand-up. And she's written a very funny book on parenting. And if you listen to my show, you know I love talking about kids, my kids, and all that stuff. So let's get into this. It's going to be a very fun conversation with Natasha Leggero. So Natasha, you used this studio that I'm in today for your book.

Yes, for the audio version. How did you like doing the audio, like reading it? What was that experience like for you? It was pretty taxing. Right? Isn't it? And I feel like, you know, I feel like I talk so loud as a performer. I just felt like, are people going to have this in their ear and I'm just going to be like pressing really hard? But hopefully people say they like it. And I mean, when I like a book, but when I get a book by a comedian, it's always better to hear it read.

Yeah, I think it's better to... Or an actor. I think it's better almost always. I always liked...

I guess Bob Dylan wrote a book years ago and it was this big thing. Bob Dylan finally wrote a book, but he wouldn't do the audio, apparently. So he had Johnny Depp do it, but Depp, like, after, like... I mean, can you imagine? Like that... And then Johnny, I guess, bailed after, like, halfway through the book and then somebody just comes in. But it's always super funny. Wait, it's only half of it is Johnny Depp? Yes, I'm pretty sure. Isn't that great? Because it is really...

A lot. It's a lot to sit and read a giant book out loud. Yeah. And, you know, you're reliving these stories and you're wanting to change things sometimes or just say it in a different way. And then they're like, you do it one more time. Exactly how you wrote it. So, you know, it was. But yes, it was a cool experience. And probably Bob Dylan does not have the voice to read it. Right. I mean, have you seen him perform? He.

He doesn't really. I think he'd just be running out of gas. Like every sentence, he would kind of run out of gas.

Yeah. It would be a very long listen. I love Bob Dylan, but I've seen him twice and both times were terrible. You know what? It's so funny you say that because he's notoriously either good or awful. I've been super lucky. I've seen him twice and both times he was great. I bet you that you just probably think he was better than I would have thought. You were probably more forgiving. Yeah. I mean, maybe I think I'm probably a little more.

A little more forgiving. Your book, I want to make sure I got the title right. The book is The World Deserves My Children, which I get. I like that. You have children. You have like your children are old, though, right? They're old. They're literally they're old. They're this and this does freak like I'm way more freaked out about my son turning 30 this year. Oh, 30, 30 year old. Yes.

We're probably the same age. My kid is five. But I'm older than you. I'm 59. What? Yeah.

Wow. Okay. Like I'm more worried about, freaked out about him turning 30 than I am getting within striking distance of 60, which really sounds nuts. Age is but a dream, darling. It is. It is. At least that's the hill I'm going to die on, literally. I think that it's so much of it is mental. And I think we're just starting to uncover that. And, you know, I feel, I felt the same age my whole life. Yeah.

Yes. But it is weird having a kid and, you know, you have adult kids. Can you give me some advice? How much of it is nurture and how much of it is nature? Like, I feel like right now I feel every single thing I'm responsible for and I could totally make this person amazing or totally fuck them up. And I'm putting so much pressure on myself. Well, here's one thing. You will fuck them up no matter what you do. There's going to be some element.

for sure that they're going to have resentment over, that they're going to be like, no matter what happens, that it just is the way it is. Everybody has that. There's going to be a mistake that you don't even know you're making. I know. That only they know. And that comes down to the nurture nature. It's like the nature of your kid affects you.

How they perceive what you're doing. So you could do the same exact thing with, you know, two kids and one of them grows up to be like resentful of it. And the other one would never even bothered or whatever. But I mean, I, I was a bit, I was super,

My wife, Cheryl, and I, luckily, we're on the same page about literally anything. We have the same worldview, which is how I think the real reason that we've been married like 33 years is because we see things differently. And as you raise kids, as you know, if you're on different tracks with your partner, it's super, super hard. And one of the things we agreed on was super disciplined behavior.

super on top of everything this wasn't like an airy fairy let them find themselves you know willy-nilly hippie dippy type of we weren't those people we were super on it like

And I think you were like academics, overscheduled extracurriculars, tutors, anything they saw an interest in or a talent and you tried to nurture it with mentors. Yeah. Our kids were not going to schools where they were learning like pottery and jazz harp and all that shit. It was like hardcore. I remember looking at different schools and one of them.

It was like one of those great schools everybody was trying to get into. And we walked in and the teacher was wearing shorts and the kids were calling the teacher by their teacher's first name. I was like, we're out.

See, that's so funny because me and my husband see eye to eye on the hippie version. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And by the way, it's a choice. And that's great. I was like... It's also different for a five-year-old than like a 15-year-old, possibly. Yes. Yes. And you never know what's going to work. You know, maybe things have been better if I had let them go to the school where they skateboard down the hallways, which they were doing also, which I did not appreciate. Right.

It's an adventure. It's so great. How old is your daughter? She's five and, you know, she's an only child. I have no plans. I don't want to have any more kids. And I think that maybe it is when you have one child, you believe it's more your responsibility because you don't have the two to compare them to. So you just somehow think everything's on your shoulders, you know? Yeah. And because it's your only kid. Yeah.

But I really love it. And, you know, it is I have a share worldview with my husband, but I have found that we really agreed more before we had a kid. We do agree on some basic things, but like I would like to get back to that eye to eye feeling like having a kid just like brought up so many different minutia that we have to agree on.

Yes. And, you know, so anyway, this is a lot of the stuff I talk about in my book. Do you guys alternate on good cop, bad cop, or are you just good cop, better cop? You know, my daughter definitely likes me more and he definitely does more discipline. What I found is that changed. Like growing up, I was the bad cop. And not like I was like, I'm going to be the bad cop. It's just my nature. And Cheryl was definitely...

They for sure preferred, I think, you know, like they were mommy's boys. And then and then it somehow shifted. And then she was like, you're so easy on them. You let them get away with murder. And like, I was not that guy for the first probably till they were about 18. But because at 18, I'm like, they're done. They're cooked. They're they're they're out of the oven. So I have till I'm 18 and then she'll start liking him more. Yeah.

Well, that's different because I don't have girls. And that's a whole other conversation. I have two boys. I know. I mean, you know, I'm not the first person to warn you about 12, 13, 14 when the daughters just think mom is the lamest. Oh, yeah.

How painful. See, that's what I that's what I want to like launch my return. You know, like I'd like to take a few years off right now. And then when she starts hating me, I'll like start doing movies, go on location, go to Atlanta for six months. You know, that's I could not agree with you more. I think I think you should just tell your agents and managers right now that when your daughter turns 11. OK.

Get booked. OK, I got five years. You can go do like one of those James Cameron Avatar movies that takes takes from the time she's 11 to 17. No, my daughter is going to be different because I'm so cool. And, you know, we just have this bond and she's going to like know how cool I am. I sacrificed my career for five years. So, of course, she's going to appreciate that.

And adore me still. So I'm really looking forward to that. It'll get there. It'll get there for sure. It'll get there. I mean, everybody is like, how do you survive the barren wilderness when your kids think you're the worst? But what percentage does that happen, Rob? Is it 90 percent? Is it 70 percent?

Is it inevitable? I think it's well, first of all, it's really healthy. I mean, I mean, my experience is only with with sons. And, you know, it's it's it's it's biblical and historic that at a certain point that the sons have to metaphorically kill their fathers. I mean, they have to.

Break that tie. And I think in today's world, they also have to do it with their mothers because mothers play such a bigger role, I think, than ever before in the culture everywhere else. And I have found that my boys have had a much harder time.

Carving out their identities and separating from their mother than they have with me. Interesting. Well, you know, I have this like added thing where, you know, my kid's five now. She's very verbal and she'll hear me like tell my husband or repeat something she said to a friend. And she started doing this thing where she's like, Mom, do not tell anybody anything I ever say. Amazing.

Amazing. But it's like, that is how I make a living. By exaggerating things that she has said to me. Yes.

And so now I'm like very self-conscious of it when I'm on stage and like, you know, sometimes things are an exaggeration. It's not exactly what she said. And what if I do a Netflix special? And then when she's 12, she can see that I've like said these things about her that maybe weren't necessarily true or maybe they were true, but they violate some sort of privacy code. So I'm like, OK, well, maybe I can tour for a while, but I don't want to put any record any of this. So there's no proof.

I have a one-man show that I do, which is basically just a way of saying it's my stand-up. Awesome. I talk about the family a lot. Same. And I decided, and I've always thought this, anything for the laugh. I'm sorry. That's a hill I will die on. Interesting. Anything for the laugh. Your kid's disowning you? Anything for the laugh. Rob, stop.

This seems wrong. Anything for... This seems unhealthy. But here's the thing. Your kids know you love them. You're a great mother. You're there for... They know that. And if you get up and tell a joke or two at their expense as a loving mother, it's all good. It's all good. Listen.

Listen, I'm down with anything for the laugh. I would just say since I've had a kid that has changed slightly in terms of like, I don't really want to fuck up my kid. That's like the one thing where I'm like, maybe that's I don't know, because I feel responsible and I don't know. You know, it just is a lot of pressure. It's this is it. This is the stuff that, you know, folks like us, it's the grist for the creative mill. Right.

Yeah. Well, that's good. That's interesting advice. I do. I do love to laugh at almost everything. But thank you for the advice. I mean, what do I know at the end of the day? Well, you have two kids who are adults who are successful. You know, that's something. I just have a five year old. You know, in the my youngest son, this whole stuff is the basis of our Netflix show, which is like father, son.

You know, living outside of somebody's shadow, trying to carve your own way. Helicopter dad. Are you a helicopter dad? In that I was super involved in everything and paying attention to everything. You know, it's so embarrassing. Like, I never thought I would be like this. I thought I would be like a cool 70s parent, you know? Oh, my God. No, you're incapable of that. Wait.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Do you really know what a 70s parent was like? Because I'm because I lived through that. I really do know. I remember all my my parents were like that and everybody's right. You never saw them. I almost drowned in an above ground pool. I remember that. Yeah. No one was around. That's it. Yeah, that's it. That's we were out on our bikes all night long. We were, you know, sitting in a car while my mom would run errands.

My husband remembers sitting in a car and having a guy like almost try to abduct him. It's just like...

like trying to like tell him he would buy him a bike if he came with him. Like we were all just like sitting in cars in the seventies and eighties. I'm so glad to hear you say that because, and this is going to, this is not a bit, it's honestly not a bit. And you know, I'm sober 30 plus years. I continue to work on myself. I do. I do lots of therapy. I'm a firm believer in it. And one of the things eventually you work on is like, what trauma did you have in your life? And,

And it's all relative, right? Some people have like trauma with a capital T and some have trauma with a little tiny T. But one of the first thing I can remember in doing the trauma work that came up for me was being left alone in the car.

Left alone. And why was it traumatic for you? Because I just remember being hot and annoyed. Well, I didn't remember it as being traumatic until I did the work on it. I see. And what it was, was you don't know when they're coming back. You are bored out of your skull. So bored. You're so like want to jump out of your skin. And for me, what that was the beginning of trying to self-medicate when I'm bored.

Because I am not in a good place when I'm bored. Not at all. And I realize that's where it comes from. That's so interesting that you say that because I keep thinking, you know, I keep throwing a phone in her face whenever she's bored. And I was like, oh, she's going to be like a stimulus seeker. That's going to, that could make it happen. But what you're saying is it happened the opposite to you from how bored you were. But on the other side of it, the other side that I'm super aware that

You know, that sort of self-soothing really made me go into my imagination. And people always comment on how I'm fine in my own company. Like I can literally go outside and sit and look at the mountains for 45, as long as, and be fine. And there are so many people that cannot be alone. I can do that too, but I'm usually high. Well, that's, that helps.

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I was always so paranoid whenever I was never a pot guy. And I'm sure now they've micro engineered all of it. So there's like a non paranoid pot. It would be my guess.

Right. Yeah. But, you know, it's it's also you need to, you know, see what your relationship is to the drug because. Mine was not good. Yeah. It was not. I was like, oh, and I kept trying because in Malibu and when I moved to Malibu, I was 13. So it was like in those days, that was the age when you started figuring you started doing drugs in the 70s as a kid in Malibu. Oh, my God. Really? Oh, I went to the cool girls.

I somehow made the guest list for the hottest, like, you know, cool girl in Malibu Park Junior High's eighth grade birthday party. And I just remember how cool it was that she got as a present a vial of Coke. In eighth grade? Oh, yeah. Probably for her parents, right? Some kids stole it from their parents, I'm sure. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. So I thought I would be like a way more relaxed 70s style parent. And now I'm just like helicopter. I'm always standing over her like I'll be brushing her hair. My husband's like tying her shoes. And I'm just like, I feel like I'm just a butler all the time and like just like completely like trying to fulfill her needs. And I know that's bad. And I know that's probably fucking her up. And I, you know, I have to as a practice try to say no to her. And, you know, it's really challenging. And.

Especially when you see yourself doing something, you're like, what is why am I standing over her? You know, why? Why can't she be roaming around the house by herself without me knowing where she is for 10 minutes? Way do you get to for me, the most difficult phase by far, by far was, I want to say, probably 15 to 18.

And it's because it's like the weekend would begin to roll around and I would just feel the anxiety because I knew I was just going to get hoodwinked, lied to, grinded.

From your kids? Yes. Oh, yes. Wait, they would be like, no, I'm not going there. And then they're just totally lying. Yeah, okay. Here's the thing. Everything coming out of their mouth is a lie. And also no. Oh, my God. And that was exactly me. I would steal money from my mom's purse and give it to my boyfriend for bus money. I was just lying, jumping out the window of my house in the middle of the night. Like, nightmare. Well, that's the other thing is,

If they tell you something they did, what they actually did, and I'm not exaggerating, is 100 times gnarlier. I don't know. Maybe your kids were really popular, though. And, you know, maybe not all kids would be like that. I know. I do think I had one son, my oldest son, it was more of a homeboy relationship.

And my youngest son, who does Unstable with me, was definitely the mover, shaker, ringleader, social butterfly. And that was brutal. And so what do you say to them when you know they're lying? You try to call them on it, but that doesn't really work. You just know that you're being worked. And the other thing is I made the – there's always going to be the – and I'm sure you had it. There was the – who was it in your neighborhood that was the house? Yeah.

Like it's where it all went down. Right. I don't know. Did you not have one? Because I most people I know, they everybody. Oh, you go over to the Browns house. Their parents were never there. Yeah. Ours was usually not my house for sure. But I was always trying to get out of my house. And like I just made the decision to make our house the house. We like to hang out in parking lots of like, you know, cars.

Waffle houses. Oh, I was a big I was a big Dairy Queen parking lot guy myself. Yeah. Parking lots were like where it was at. Like that's where all the cool people would go. And we would all just sit and stand in a circle and talk and they would skateboard and you'd lie to your parents and say you were somewhere else. And yeah. So good. I didn't know that this was I wasn't I'm not really prepared for this.

I guess all you can all you can really do is be there. Right. Because they can lie and they can do the thing. But if you're home and you see what's happening, they're either coming home or not coming home. Yeah. My kids used every escape hatch in and out. I mean, the stories I get now that they're grown. Holy moly. We didn't know that. And honestly, we were all over it, all over it. And there was an entire other life we knew nothing about. Really?

And they didn't think that like you were cool at all? I mean, they will say they we have great relationships, always have. It was never it was never we never went through things that some parents do where it's super combative and a strange. And it was always really, really, really good. Their friends will say and they will say that we were.

The nicest parents, the most welcoming parents, the most fun parents, but without a doubt, the most strict. Wow. Well, you know, I don't think the world will be around in more than six years anyway. Anyway. I'm not that worried about it, Rob. No. I'm just going to try to enjoy it. You know what? You just do what you can do on any given minute. And it's the...

It's the best that you can do. I was looking at some of the stuff you've done. You've worked with some of my favorite people. Like who? Thomas Lennon, Ken Marino. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I love them. Thomas Lennon and I did maybe the worst movie in the history of the world together. But it was called Monster Trucks. So bad. Is it for kids? It was supposed to be. It was supposed to be the new Transformers. It was like Hot Wheels that became real Transformers.

And took over the world. It was a debacle. But he and I had so much fun together. He's the absolute best. Yeah, he is hilarious. He gave me my comedy start because he was doing Reno 911. And when I moved to L.A., I got an audition and I hadn't quite chosen comedy. I knew I wanted to be an actor. But I started to realize like the comedy...

audition rooms were way more fun and I liked the people more. And then Tom Lennon had this thing for Reno 911 where you had to come in and say either, you know, you called the cops, you got to improvise with them and either someone called the cops on you or you called the cops on someone and then you just had to, you know, improv with them. And I had never done much improv. But anyway, I did that. I was like a girl who couldn't find my pants and they played the cops. And like, that was the beginning of like,

You know, I did that with him, Reno 911, a few times and it was like such a great experience and I just kind of started doing comedy. And so I'm very grateful to him. Isn't it funny how it takes, all it takes sometimes is one person to go, you're funny. You don't need to be Meryl Streep. And Tom was that for you.

Yeah. And he's so funny. And, you know, we wrote a movie together and he was great to work with. And I always want to work with funny people. It's just like, well, you know, it's like the best. And it's such a great way to spend your time. Ken Marino is another one I love.

Ken is so talented and I did Burning Love with him and he directed it. He's such a funny actor, but also like... Great director. Great director. And it was very low budget and he would have this little timer and like every 10 minutes it would go off and he'd be like, okay, next scene, we got to move to the next scene. And it was just like, he was so disciplined about it. And it was so smart because so often in these low budget things, the director will get overwhelmed and then there's no time left at the end. And, you

Ken just kind of knew exactly. He just went with the flow. And yeah, he is definitely a dream. And I love him. You also were on two of the biggest roasts on Comedy Central, Franco and Bieber. Wait, there was a roast of you? Well, yes. And what happened was they had asked to roast me

And I was like, I'm not. No, I didn't want to do it. And then they did Franco. And at that point, Franco was like a big deal actor. And then they did Bieber, who is one of the biggest stars in the world. And then they came to me and I was like, OK, I'm in. Right. Well, actually, what happened was this tells you all you need to know about my relationship with my wife is I said, hey, so I have an offer to be roasted.

on Comedy Central. She said, absolutely not. She goes, honey, you're going to look like a fool in front of America. I said, honey, that ship has sailed. And she goes, well, do they pay you? And I go, actually, they do pay very well. And they pay. And I told her how much they pay. And she goes, oh, well, you have to do it.

Wow, I didn't know it paid that much. Yeah, for me, it was like, because I remember there was the roast of you and I just kind of wanted to stop doing roasts because I had a baby. And I was like thinking you're either a slut.

Or an old hag. You know? Those are the two lanes for the roasts. Yeah. And so I kind of like, if you're a woman, you know, and I already kind of did the whole slut thing. And now that I had a kid, and especially I had a kid in my 40s, I started to get worried that they would like,

attack her. I don't I didn't know. And like and I and I know people who've gotten blindsided before by the roasts and not expecting it to be as mean. And I felt like I got out unscathed both times. So here's what I don't get. It's funny you talk about people who get blindsided at the roasts. So

You know, as the roasty, you get to invite the panel that you want to invite. And then they fill it in with people as needed. Yeah, I don't think I was on Justin Bieber's list of who he wanted to host. But, you know, he approved. He approved. You're there. And I remember...

You know, I one of my oldest pals is Gwyneth Paltrow. And I was like, she'd be great on the panel. And I call her. I said, so I'm being roasted Comedy Central.

Will you be on my panel and roast me? She goes, Robbie, you know, I'll do anything for you. She goes, can I? But I'd like to see one. And I go, yeah, here's a comment. So look at it. She looks, she calls me back. She goes, not only will I not do that, I don't think you should either. Yeah. I mean, I think what happens, too, is people don't realize, like.

You know, women will feel like they're at their prime and they're, you know, everything's great. And then like every single person will zero in on some feature or...

Or like your age or whatever, you know, when it's just like this like vague sense of you're a whore, you know, that's kind of easy to handle. But like, you know, if everyone's saying you're, you know, you have fat arms or your face is so ugly or whatever it is, you know. It's probably one of my many flaws that I love those roasts so much and loved being roasted. I loved it. And they were rough on me as they should be. Oh, really? By the way, the rougher the better. Yeah.

I know. I know. Look, at least I'm consistent. Like, I like people getting roasted. The rougher, the better. But I also like being roasted. The rougher, the better. I'm down. Nothing hurt your feelings? No. Wow. That's special. Now, there were jokes that were so rough.

That I was like, oh, my wife's sitting right there and my two kids. Right. And some mutual friends who aren't in the sort of comedy world that we all are in and get it. And I was like, for them, but not for me. I was like, that's hilarious. Like, you can't, if it's funny, I can't deny it.

Which goes back to anything for the joke. This is clearly the theme of this interview. Clearly. You definitely have a stand-up mentality. This is how stand-ups are, you know? Like, you don't take yourself too seriously. You're willing to go there. Right, yeah. The darker the better. I mean...

Yeah, I think I really did lose some of my sense of humor when I had a kid. And that's what my book is about in a way is like getting back to this pre motherhood personality. And it might be different for mothers than it is for fathers. You know, like I used to be someone who had so much joie de vivre. And I was always like going to Africa, going to Thailand at the drop of a hat, traveling here, traveling there.

you know, white water rafting without a helmet. So I still looked cute, you know, like I would do whatever. And now I'm just like terrified. Like I, you know, and I think the pandemic obviously didn't help having a young child,

In this like time in history and, you know, might have fucked with my head a little bit, but I definitely have lost some of my sense of humor and it sucks and it's hard on my marriage. And, you know, because that's not who my husband married necessarily. And, you know, it's it's definitely a process and I'm working on it. And, you know, it's a challenge. But, yeah, I want to get that back. It happens. Look, you are you are literally physically changed.

Like guys don't go through that. We don't physically change when, when kids come into the world, we, we, we mentally and emotionally change, but you're chemically, it's a whole different thing for women. And you see it all the time you see. And I think it's super appropriate and, and, and the way nature intended it to be, you know, maternal instincts are probably not comedic instincts. They're probably very at odds with each other.

Right. And I think also like a challenge for women is like my like making time for yourself. Like my husband, he just instinctively follows his passions. Yes. He's like always surfing. You know, he gets into like electric bikes. He gets into like kickboxing. He he's he's camping. He's always like following his DJing. He's like always following his passions, whereas like my free time is usually spent like picking up.

the slack in a way and and I and I think it's I I'm probably in a martyr sense you know agree that I will do it like you know the woman's in charge of the scheduling and then I'm also happen to be packing her lunches and buying the food and you know all of a sudden it's like my time is spent doing all of this prep invisible labor it's called you know and it's it's but he's but he's so cool he's always like do your own thing it's just getting out of the mindset that I you

You know, yeah, I should do my own thing and let the other things just fall where they where they go and everything will be fine. It makes perfect sense to me. I mean, you know, the it's also the thing that you people struggle with where there's the now the kids are in the life is like keeping the romance and the marriage alive and putting you yourself as a couple.

You know, first, because without it's like it's like the old thing of the airplane where the oxygen mask comes on. They say, put it on yourself. They don't go look around the cabin. See if you see someone in need and put it on them. They don't say that. They say put it on you. Yeah. If you aren't taking care of you, then you're no good to anybody. Got to put those those masks on.

It always blows me away, that thing. Because it's such a great thing that we don't think of in life. It's not selfish to take care of yourself because if you're not doing what's right by you, you can't do what's right by anybody else.

And, you know, they could easily say that. They could easily go, when the oxygen mask drops, look for somebody who is older and infirm or somebody who may not have access to the things that you do. And they don't say that. Well, you know, it's so important to take care of yourself. And I don't mean to gender at all either. I'm sure there are men in my position and vice versa. It's just I find that a lot of women I know feel the same way. And it can be a challenge to be selfish because...

you know, it does seem like the world is scary and you do feel like you have to kind of, I spent so much of my time in COVID just like trying to understand science because I felt like I had to read all this stuff and make all these decisions and no one was telling me what to do. And then people would tell me one thing and then the other thing was true. And so I felt like I had to be the person to, to make my own choices and I had to be informed and, you know, it definitely turned me into this like more scared person. And yeah,

Yeah, I want to shed that in 2023, Rob. It's time to shed your skin. I also got to ask you about your movie, Old Dads. You're working with Bill Burr, who I adore. Oh, my God. He's so funny. He's so genius. It's almost hard for me to watch him as a comedian because I'll watch his stand-up and I'm like, wait, I was thinking of something like that, but he already took it to the place where it's so hilarious and you just kind of want to give up sometimes because he's just such...

a master, you know, and I love Bill and it was so awesome to be in his movie. And, you know, he directed it and he's such a like, his persona is so like hot headed. Yes. But working with him, like he was so like, he was a great director. He was really easy to talk to. He had a vision. He was so calm. Then he

Have you directed and acted in your own thing? I have. I don't love directing myself. When I direct, I'd rather just not be in it. Was he starring in it as well? He's starring in it and directing. It's so hard. It's hard. I know. And first time director. So it's like I'm always kind of in awe of people who can do that because I would be so self-conscious. And I worked on a show another period where I got to be show running it and be in charge and

It was exhausting and everything was like so important to me and like, you know, it was just like I was just like too stressed out, you know, I was. And that's part of the fun. But I think if you're when you're starring in it, it's like you got to find that balance. Like, how do you strip it all that director hat and then go into the vulnerability of like your acting? So.

All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I'll never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel.

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And also, how many podcasts have you done on Endless Honeymoon with your husband? So I have a podcast with my husband, the Endless Honeymoon podcast. We just celebrated our 200th episode. Oh, congratulations. Is that a lot? How many have you done? Yeah, we're right. We're, I think, at 170. Okay. Okay. Neck to neck. Yeah, we're getting there. So we give relationship advice. We sometimes get into actual fights, which is something we're working on now.

Sometimes I'll be like, we need to bring this to couples therapy. And he's like, no, let's just bring it to the podcast. And I'm like, but we'll crowdsource things. And, you know, people do like it's actually coming. It's favors me most of the time. I think people agree with me, but it's good. It's good for him to like hear that.

And we also have a secrets hotline. People call in and, you know, tell us their deepest, darkest secrets and we get to make fun of them. And tell me, do you remember one in particular or two? I'd love a highlight of that if possible. This girl called last week. I sometimes put these out on my Instagram, but she was like, my secret is that, you know, I started jerking off my dog so that he would calm down so I could cut his nails. Oh, my God.

And she was like, you know, it's seven dollars to clip his nails and, you know, I can do it for free. And I was just thinking like that is not about the money. Right. That is so fucked up. Like that is not like who goes there. Yeah. So it's some woman told me she put she gave her baby Benadryl so she could watch the Game of Thrones premiere. I don't know. Like people just have like crazy. Listen, I was a big Benadryl supporter for my kids when traveling.

Oh, OK. That's interesting. Big time. Big time. I mean, listen, maybe I'm bad. I'm a bad dad. But little, you know, a little little Benadryl never hurt. Hey, Rob, anything for the joke, right? Anything for the drugs. And by the way, anything anything that lets me sleep anywhere. And I mean, because I will I will drug anybody if they're going to get in the way of my sleep, including my own children.

Let me ask you this. OK, this like sometimes will bring things to our podcast. This was a recent thing. Moshe uses my toothbrush whenever he wants. And I keep telling him that is not OK. No. Until I brought it out on the podcast. And so many people like I would say 99 percent of people were just humiliating him. Yes. He finally like stopped doing it. So, you know, we've had we have had some positive effects. So you think that's disgusting, right? Like disgusting. I don't want that. Like.

He just would he's you know, he's he loses things he couldn't can't find can't find things. So it's just easier for him to grab any toothbrush and he's kind of absent minded like that. But it was happening like every day. And now he doesn't do it anymore. He bought a bunch of toothbrushes. So, yeah, our podcast has actually been good for a relationship. Do you have when you give marriage advice or advice, are the people on the podcast with you or are you getting you getting it from like calls or they they call in they call in there?

They're usually on video. It's usually one person wanting advice, but sometimes we have couples. Yeah, and comedian guests. And, you know, we're obviously all experts on relationship advice, right? Well, clearly, if anybody has listened to this podcast, they know we're experts, clearly. I like to hear how you parent. I wouldn't have pegged you as a strict dad. I would have pegged you more as like a Malibu, fun, give the kids some cocaine dad. Yo, they were there. Oh, my God. It's a wonder.

What I witnessed as a kid in Malibu, one, it is, I think everybody in them has their, the story they were truly meant to tell. And I, and I've kicked around in different iterations and I've wrote a little bit about it in my books, but the, the real story, it's, it's kind of like, it'd be like,

I mean, like Boogie Nights meets Euphoria of Malibu in 1975 and what it was like to be a teenager. Yeah.

is it's not what anybody thinks. It was mental. And one day I'll figure it out. I haven't figured it out yet, but one day. I love that world. That is like so, I mean, because it's also like euphoria. It is kind of glorifying it in a tiny way or making it. Oh, for sure. It does seem, it's like euphoria but with better music.

Well, it'll be the music of the time. And there was no better music. I know. Exactly. We started the podcast talking about Bob Dylan and Bob Dylan used to come and watch the soccer practices because his kids were on my soccer team. And like only in Malibu does that kind of stuff happen. But don't you also think that it was we didn't know it was that bad, like cocaine? Wasn't it kind of new? I say this all the time. It was good for you.

Right. Like we give our kids Red Bull and we let them watch our phones all day long. Like I'm probably that'll be bad at some point. I don't know. When I came up, cocaine is what successful people did. Really? Yes. It didn't have a negative connotation? No. It was good for your mental acuity. Like Adderall. Movie stars did it. You know, Wall Street guys did it. The toll of coke hadn't

The bill had not come due yet. Right. It had not been measured. No, it the the the devastating effects of it weren't readily apparent.

I see. And it was still like it was super innocent. And like you'd you'd go to Aspen and you'd leave a line on the table as a tip for the waiter. Like that's the world you lived in. Rob, it sounds like fucking fun ass time. I got to tell you. It was until it wasn't. I mean, that's the problem. Yeah, then you get out of it. Then you get out of it. And then, you know, it was like it.

I've had more fun sober in the last 30 years than I ever did then. And I meant more, but a different and equally fulfilling type of fun. But I don't regret any of it. It was a blast while it lasted. I couldn't. It was unsustainable. Right. But it's part of life for sure. That's what I heard John Waters say. The problem with drugs is people forget to stop doing them. So, you know. It's a good quote. Although.

I, you know, I like to smoke pot, but I never, that's the thing. I didn't grow up in that kind of, I grew up in the Midwest and was straight edge and sober until I was like 30. So I actually feel like I afforded myself more time. Like I never had that thing where like,

I went too far and I woke up and it was rock bottom. And, you know, it was like it never really accelerated. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel very lucky in a way. I almost want to tell my daughter, like, you know, your dad did this and he was a drug addict by the time he was 16. He was in rehab because he went crazy on acid. And, you know, and now he can't do drugs for the rest of his life.

As opposed to me, I waited till I was like 30 to even drink or try pot or whatever. And I feel like I've been able to maybe it's also brain chemistry and who I am, but I've been able to, you know, do it my whole life. And it's never like affected me.

dramatically or traumatically or negatively, I don't think. I mean, by the way, that is the other big thing about parenting, obviously, is helping them. And we could do a whole podcast episode or series on this is helping them figure out what their relationship is going to be to drugs and alcohol. I mean, it's a big, a big, big. And I was I never understand the parents that go, oh, I don't

I abused everything in college. God, I was a mess, you know, so I don't really have a leg to stand on when I bullshit. It's like you just be honest with them. Tell them what you did. This is what you know. I'm saying it's I think that's a very bad take. The take of I don't want them to know what I did. Right. I think it's a super bad take. I think I think it's a very self-serving take. That's more about like, you know.

keeping up some sort of image you think you have as a parent to your kid, as opposed to educating them, which is really your job. Right. But also, I think like my daughter worships me and I drink wine all the time and I'm like, oh, is she going to want to just like she wants to do everything like me, you know? Guess what? She's going to drink wine.

Right. But maybe she'll be one of those people who like, I don't know, you know, it's just like, how do I but I don't want to hide it because it's, you know, you know, I don't want to. Imagine you're in your pantry. Just a minute. Mommy needs a minute. Mommy's very dehydrated. I don't know. Yeah, I just you know, you just want the best thing to happen for them.

Until AI takes over. Oh, yeah. Then we won't have to do anything. This is so fun. This is great. I may bring some of my marriage stuff to the endless honeymoon. Oh, my God. We would love to have you as a guest. The next issue I have with Cheryl, and we have so few of them. It may be a while. You may be on your 400th episode by the time it happens. It sounds like you guys have a good thing. It's a good thing. I don't want to jinx anything, but we're 33 years in. But the next time, I'm going to be like, look...

I have an idea. We're not going to therapy about this. We're going on a podcast. She might go for it. I love it. The pandemic didn't make it hard for you. Like, I feel like everything was great until the pandemic and that was just too much time. I had a very unique pandemic. I worked I worked more than I've ever worked in my life, first of all, during the pandemic.

Um, my show 911 Lone Star was one of the first shows to, to continue. So I worked all the way through it and, and I'm such a loner when I'm not working that I didn't feel the, the lack of social interaction as much as I think other people did because I was working and I was resting. So I had a very unique, my take on the pandemic is probably not, um, valid because it was super, um,

Super different than 99.9% of the people had, I think. You got lucky, Rob. I did, for sure. 100%. And I only got COVID like...

Four years later, whatever it was. I thought you were going to say four times. And I only got COVID four times. Oh, my God. Well, we would love to have you. And you've got great advice. And I feel like I learned. I learned a lot from our podcast. And if I ever do a roast, you've got to be on the panel. What? No. Did you see my roast? Have you seen it? No. I'm just telling you.

You have to watch it. It's one of my career highlights. It's the famous Ann Coulter. Oh, she is really. She didn't understand what the roast was. Ann Coulter was on your roast? Yes. Oh, my God. And she did not understand that she being on the panel made people. And really, it was the roast of Ann Coulter. Really what I mean. Oh, I remember this now. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. She is something. She is unique. The best was Jimmy Carr. My favorite was what he said. He's so funny. Pete Davidson was on my panel. I had a really good panel. And they said, Pete Davidson will always talk about losing his father in the Twin Towers, but I don't want to spend any more time. This is not the roast of Pete Davidson's father. That was on 9-11.

I knew where you were going. Yeah, but it's just. Damn. Yeah, it's just like it's gotten a little too mean. And, you know, as a I just was not I'm not up for that anymore. You know, it was like it was Amy Poehler when I was like, Amy, be on my panel. And she's I'll do anything for you because I won't be on the panel. But I wanted you some. She played. We had a bit that we filmed for her so she could be a part of it at the beginning. She didn't want to be mean. And she was a new mom, too. I think it's a body chemistry thing you guys get anti roast.

I know. My husband, like he I think he sees it as weakness or it was like, but, you know. Well, he sounds like he sounds like a boss. I mean, he does all the he does all the things I do. He can't remember where anything is and he surfs. It's perfect. Tell him I said hello. He seems like a great guy. Surfing does put him in a better mood. So that's good. Yeah, for sure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. OK, bye, hon.

Well, I'm going to immediately subscribe to her podcast, Endless Honeymoon. I really like that. And I'm always down for marriage advice. I will take good marriage advice anywhere I can get it. And clearly she's super funny. Thanks for listening. Please do me a favor. Pick somebody in your life that you think would enjoy the show.

And send them a link. Let's go through the go through the menu. You got people in your lives who are like, I love Matthew McConaughey. Send him that show or. Oh, my gosh. I just love Oprah. Whatever. We got some peeps. Send it. That'd be super cool if you did it for me. Anyway, ring, ring. What's that? Oh, it's the lowdown line. Hello. You've reached literally in our lowdown line.

where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-4551. So have at it. Here's the beep.

Hey, Rob, this is Billy from Kansas City, and I want to know who does the best Rob Lowe impression. Is it one of the pros like Dana Carvey or Seth MacFarlane? Or I bet it's just a crew member from Lone Star or one of your shows that can get on that radio and just got the hook. Let us know. Love the podcast. Love the shows. Thanks a lot. Bye. Okay, you've given me a great idea. I want anyone out there

who thinks they have a good impression of me to call the lowdown line and we'll pick the best one and we'll play it because I don't really know if anybody's ever done an impression of me because I'd be the first, I would be the first to love it. I mean, I love impersonating people and I think one of the great compliments is being impersonated. And so I wish I had an answer for you and it makes me sad. Maybe I'm not as accomplished as I think.

Because no one's impersonated me. You'd think Dana would be able to do it. Dana Carvey is the man. He would be the one. Next time I have Dana on the show, I'm going to ask him to impersonate me. But in the meantime, I'm throwing it back to you. I'm crowdsourcing this.

If you think you can impersonate me, please call the lowdown line. We'll pick the best one. All right. Thank you all. Thanks for the call. And thanks for the great idea because this could be fun. Come back next week. We have more interesting stuff to be done here on Literally.

You've been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe, produced by me, Nick Liao, with help from associate producer Sarah Begar, research by Alyssa Graw. The podcast is executive produced by Rob Lowe for Low Profile, Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and myself at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Stitcher. Booking by Deirdre Dodd, music by Devin Bryant. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time on Literally with Rob Lowe. This has been a Team Coco production.

All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I'll never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel. ♪

Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply.