Sofía Vergara: Free Tastes Better
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Look who's here. We're ready? Now I'm chewing. Hold on. Where's the paparazzi? I heard they like you when you're chewing. I heard paparazzi have a thing for you when you eat. I know they do. They do. No, the thing is that I'm eating all day long. That's my problem.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Lit Trolley with me, Rob Lowe. So I'm pretty pumped right now. Sofia Vergara, we've been talking to her for many a moon to get her on this show. She is America's, she's the world's sweetheart. She's not just America. She's America, Latin America, Europe, Antarctica, Greenland, Finland, Africa.

She's truly, there's nothing anybody could possibly say sideways about this woman. She's funny. She's beautiful. She's sweet. She's got a great family. She makes you laugh. She's got a great attitude. There aren't many who tick all those boxes, but she does. And just coming up right after this.

Hi, darling. How are you? I'm good. I'm very happy to be here finally. I know. We've been trying to do this, but it's like, you know, like there's always something. And during the pandemic, everything has been so hard too. So confusing. I know, but you're here and I'm getting to watch you eat and listen to you eat. And it's making me very happy. Yeah.

I wasn't eating anything exciting. It was just like some old like almonds that I found upstairs. Old almonds. Not even. Not even fresh. You see, and people think Hollywood is romantic. I know. We eat old almonds. Yeah. Whatever I find, I eat. We don't even eat new ones. It's just. Stale. Where are you living these days? Where are you? Well, I live in Los Angeles. And.

And it's kind of like it was kind of like good to be here, I guess, for the pandemic, because we have a house where we had. I mean, I had room and so I could live with my son and my niece came here when, you know, at the beginning that we didn't know what was going on. We were going to run out of food that we all needed to, you know, be together. So it was it was good to have a house where they could stay with me and not run out of almonds.

Yeah, no. I think these ones must be from the beginning of the pandemic because horrible. Because horrible. Yeah. Because horrible. Yeah. Not good. It's funny. Now that we're all kind of coming out of the pandemic, everybody's kind of, I feel like everybody's crawling out of their like manholes and caves and going, what did you do? What was it like for you? Yeah.

And like, we're all kind of like, did that really happen? I know it's still like surreal, but you know, I think,

I'm so like thankful because I thought it was going to be, you know, for me worse than that, that what it was actually, I have to be grateful because I, like I said, I was able to be here in my house with my family. I was able to still be filming, um, AGT, which, you know, we thought that we were going to have to stop because it happened like right in the middle of the season. And I was able to finish the whole season. So I'm very thankful. I mean, it was,

But I have to say that I'm thankful that I was still able to work and be with my family. I know people who are able to work. I mean, that's kind of amazing, particularly in our business where we're on a set and there's 200 people every single day inside of an enclosed space.

space. What was it? Did you, like, were you, how were your protocols? Do you get tested like every three seconds and all that? Yeah, like every two days we were, and also because it was the beginning and AGT had like the, were they like the first ones that were allowed to start filming? So they were kind of like opening the doors for everybody and they did such an amazing job. Yeah, we did have to be tested like every two days and we

couldn't have people around us. We were very isolated. I mean, there was no snacking for me because there was no craft service at all. You know, they, they close. That's a non-starter. That's a, that's a non-starter. I mean, that's horrible. That's super depressing because you know, you go to work and one of the most fun things of being on a set is the craft service table. Yes. And when you don't have that, that was kind of rough for me. Let me ask you this. What is your dream craft service table? Because I had,

But for me, one of the things I loved about Parks and Recreation was they had the best craft service that I've ever had. And I've been doing it a long time. And it was, I mean, there's something about, I think you can tell everything you need to know about a production.

by its craft service. Don't you think? Don't you get super mad when you know that the production is like, you know, it's like a super expensive movie or TV show and then they come up with this really not great craft service. You're like, oh my God, they're so stingy. Oh, and here's the thing is like, I'm a cheap date.

Because it doesn't have to be super fancy for me or even super... But what's so special about Park and Recreation craft service table for you? Well, okay, let's do a deep dive in this. This is... We're now into the stuff that I live for. So, look, you don't have to spend a lot of money on craft service, okay? Like, I'm good with red vines. I love red vines. I love red vines, too. If they're fresh, if they've been in that big bucket for a long time, they really are. Boy, do you know there's a whole thing about...

red vines in the internet and like there's a certain subsect of people with red vines where you are supposed to it's like it's like aging a wine there's you're aging red vines and i'm not kidding you're

Google this. So you take the red vines. I don't really have time to be Googling stuff about red vines. I have nothing but time. So here's what you do. You take the red vines, you put them in apparently an old school grocery bag. Then you put them in the trunk of your car. I'm not making this up. So it's like a technique, like a protocol. It's a protocol for aging red vines, 100%. I like them fresh. I don't want to do that because I like them fresh.

Well, a lot of people don't. I'm just saying a lot of people like them very, very, very stale. You like them stale? I can go either way, honestly. I see the pros and the cons of both. Okay, so it's good because I buy them for the house. They get stale. I have to get rid of them, so I'll send them to you. Send them to me. I'll just find out the address of your studio and I'll send them to you. You can send them to me. Mike Schur, who created Parks and Recreation, is a big stale Red Vines guy. This is where I learned all this from.

So I'm good with red vines. I'm good with sweet tarts. I'm good with cheap like candy that you would get. You would go trick or treating like I want my my craft service table to look like a kid's dumped their trick or treating bag out. And then I'd like to have healthy stuff.

But I need both. What about you? What's your dream craft service? Well, my dream craft service, I had it, and I'm going to tell you where. It was in Italy. Of course. That's cheating. I was like in heaven. It was...

I did a movie in Italy and I walk into the craft service and it was decorated like it was, you know, like, you know how Italians do things. And imagine the coffee. I am very peculiar about coffee. I'm Colombian. So I have to have like amazing coffee in the craft service. And then I arrived to Italy and the craft service has like this espresso Italian machine with like round, fresh coffee. And you do it like everything. Like it's like, what is this?

service, there were like tiny little sandwiches, fresh, warm all the time with like prosciutto and mozzarella. I mean, it was like all like fresh crottas and it was like, that's the best. But that's like a little bit impossible to have anywhere in the world. You know, that was, I knew it was something that I was only going to have one time in my life. I also go through phases where

And by the way, so craft service for people who are not in show business, it's weird. I wonder where it got that name from. I think the theory is we're craftsmen. This is all I can think of. And this service is in service of the craft

I think you're making it very confusing for them. You're making it very confusing. You just have to tell them to the people that don't know. It's a table that when you go to work, it's free. Free food, free candy, free everything for you. You can take all you want and it's free. That's what it is. It...

Well, it is that too. I remember being when I was 15, my first big job I ever got. I was like 15. I just could not believe that I could have as much coffee and donuts as I could fit in my belly. I couldn't believe it. Because they were free. Free. Isn't it funny? No matter how successful or old or worldly or whatever. Or how much money you have. Free stuff is awesome. Free tastes better.

Free tastes better. Title. Free tastes better. It's really true. How was the craft service on Modern Family?

It was great. It has its days. Some days it was spectacular. Some days it was so-so. Some days my favorite is when they would have like, like, you know, pasta or they would have like, you know, tacos, like when they had like a nice, you know, kind of like a complete meal, but it was just a snack. Those were my favorite days.

Taco Tuesdays are great. Amazing. Yeah. But like, you know, I have a theory of people who are starring on network hour television shows. They are either getting skinnier or

Or fatter. But they're not staying the same. And I defy you to watch a show where that is not the case. My favorite is, and I love him to death, Billy Peterson on CSI. Started out Billy Peterson, live and die in L.A. By the 17th season, he was dressed like Bea Arthur from Maud with like trench coats on.

But what else can you do when there's the free food and you're waiting? We wait so many hours. The only entertainment you have is to come out of your trailer, walk around, say hello to everyone, stand by the craft service. That's why COVID has ruined it, I think. Because when are we ever going to get back the craft service? That's true.

It's one of the many things that we're going to look back and remember certain things that left after COVID and craft services for sure. Imagine we were complaining, people lost their jobs and you and me were complaining about craft service. This is horrible. I know. But listen, the notion that like we used to like have a box of free donuts and 200 people would pick them up and look at them and go, I don't want this one. And then you'd come and eat it. It's like, bleh. Gone. It's gone. Gone.

Hold that thought. We'll be right back.

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I heard that you were...

That you didn't audition for Modern Family, that they wrote the part for you. Is that true? Did I make this up or is that true? No, the only ones that didn't audition were Ed, Ed O'Neill. Of course, they were not going to make Ed O'Neill audition. And me, I don't even know why. I think they met me. I met with the creators, with Steve Levitan and Chris Lloyd, and we had a big conversation. I think at the beginning, they had written the role for someone else.

another ethnicity that wasn't like a white person but it was I think they were looking more towards like an Asian girl and when they met me they changed their mind thank god and they gave me the part so that was great and I had already done like um like some pilots and I have done some tv series so they looked at it and and they thought you know I could do the job it was it was really good

Well, I mean, you're fantastic in it, obviously, and it's one of the great – it might be the last great –

Network, it might be. I mean, it really might be. And for sure, for sure one that runs for so long, 11 years. I think that's what it's over, the long run, you know, TV series. There might be, I mean, amazing ones, but they're just going to be six episodes. And, you know, now people want like new things all the time. Yeah, we were very lucky, very lucky. And you would do on any given year, your season would be how many episodes?

24. 24. Let that sink in, everybody. What's the fanciest comedy on streaming? Ted Lasso. Everybody loves Ted Lasso. How many episodes? How many episodes of Ted Lasso? I think it's eight. That's it? You did 24.

Yeah, 24 every season. For 11 years. Yeah, for 11 years. Suck on that, Ted Lasso. I know. We were so lucky. I mean, I still cannot believe it. I can't believe it that I was so lucky. I mean, I had really no experience that much and that I was able, I mean, and sounding like this, for God's sake.

There was no one on television at that time sounding like this. So for me, I really, I don't take it for granted what Steve Levitin and Chris Lloyd did for me. Did anybody ever...

in your career talk to you about the accent one way or the other, positive, negative? Because I can only, because I'm friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger and people told him forever that, you know, early on, they're like, you're going to have to change that accent. Arnold still sounds as Austrian as the day he arrived here. I would think you'd have to work at keeping your accent after so many years.

by people without an Austrian accent. Not when you have a bad ear like him and I, because it's like that's been happening to me. I mean, I think I've been sounding worse and worse and worse actually, because now you realize that you don't have to make an effort because people already accept you. People already understand you. They know what you're saying now. So I feel like I don't have to make an effort. I think I, to my husband now, I'm just like, and he knows already

whatever I am saying. It's like, I think that's how that happened to him. But yeah, at the beginning I did, I did had a lot of people say, well, I not, not even a lot of people, me, I wanted to change my accent at the beginning because I thought I'm not going to be able to have, um,

that many opportunities. I mean, and I would see, for example, Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek, who are two Latin girls that have a lot of accent. And I was always like thinking, it's like, why wouldn't they have taken, you know, they were so famous already at the time. Why didn't they have taken the accents out? I'm going to take it out. And so I started thinking,

with a coach for six months and it was horrific. I didn't get any job because all I was thinking was, first of all, it was like three hours a day and you have to do it like five times a week, super expensive. And then I would go to auditions and all I could think was, where am I putting my tongue? You know, where, what, to create the sound that I wanted. So then the acting was,

There was no acting. It was just me trying to speak English. So I said, you know, I have to accept myself. This is not going to change. I am who I am. There's nothing I can do. I have such a bad year. And I said, let's just...

I am just going to go to roles where they need somebody that sounds like this. And that was it. That's such a great story. Do you like is any is any of it left? Could you still do your American act, your bad American, really expensive, super coached, long, long since ditched accent?

No, I mean, if I had seen it one day, if I had heard myself done it right, at least one day, I would have kept going. But there was nothing coming out right for me. It was really bad. And then I realized, you know what? People laugh at my accent and I liked it. And I realized that if I made it, you know, even worse, it was even funnier. Yeah.

So I even, you know, instead of saying, yeah, instead of saying yes, I was saying yes. And you know, so then you start like manipulating the situation. And I'm like, you know, this, this is what, this is my gimmick. I have to, you know, embrace it and, and just try to do my best with what I have. Well, that's, that's always the thing that, that,

you know, whenever I talk to young actors and things like that, I'm like, whatever is your unique thing, that's your thing, man. Like that's what is, what, what is makes you different is what makes you different, which is the good. That's the good. Don't let anybody beat it out of you. You know, can you, can you imagine where we would be if you didn't sound like you and Arnold didn't sound like Arnold? I don't want to live in a world like that. I don't want to live in a world like that. I should do a movie with Arnold to see what happens. Yeah.

The accent wars. No one will understand a thing. No, but it's true. I think also it makes you different and you have to appreciate it and just make the best out of it. And because right now also, you know, there's so many talent out there. There's so many people, you know, competing for acting jobs and everything. And so if there's something that makes you unique, you should, you know, make the best out of it.

You received a congratulations, by the way, on your walk of fame star on the walk of fame. That's that's a big deal, man. I that's that's a very cool thing. Do you where where is yours located? I love asking people where their stars are. Where?

Where is it on Hulu Boulevard? It's in front of like a shoe store. I don't even remember where. Yeah, it wasn't like a great, great location, you know. But I loved it. I had so much fun. I brought like a big chunk of my family to come. They were so excited. Ed gave a speech for me. So that was amazing. I love it so much. And so it was like really special and fun.

to be there. I never thought, you know, when I started acting and doing what I started doing and it was never in my head that I was going to be nominated for anything or winning anything. I mean, that wasn't even, it didn't even occur to me that that could happen to me. So when it started happening with Modern Family, I was like really like,

you know, like I appreciating it. I had the best time those 11 years. I mean, you've got, I've got the stats right here. I love, I love this stuff for supporting actress in the comedy series, Emmys, five golden globes, seven SAG awards,

And by the way, SAG Awards are, for me, that's the one. Yes, that's so great. Because it's the screen actors, those are your peers. Yes. And if ever there was a cast for it, and what I like about the SAG Awards, it's always the ensemble. It's the whole cast.

they don't do best show. They do best ensemble of actors. And that group, that group of actors on, on, on your show. And I'm, I'm, I know a lot of them. They're such great people. And so fun when it's Eric and, you know, and Ed is a legend. Ed O'Neill is amazing. Amazing. I get so lucky with him. I see him in whole, I see him in Hawaii all the time. He's,

Always in Hawaii. Never wants to leave Hawaii now. No, no, no. He loves it. He loves Hawaii. I mean, I have never been with him into Hawaii. I always want to go there. He, I mean, he was such a, like a pleasure to work with because imagine at the beginning, I was a little worried because he,

Ed and I have like a big age difference. You know, it's like 20 something years different. I am Colombian. I am. If you look at us, you would think that we have nothing in common. And I can...

I assure you that in 11 years, there wasn't a second that we weren't talking about something, laughing about something. Most of my scenes were with him. Most of my work days were with Ed. So I would see the rest of the cast, but not as much as Ed. Ed and I, we were every day together.

And it was so amazing. In 11 years, we didn't even have one disagreement or he never annoyed me. We were kind of like, you know, try to do our thing and go home. We didn't like drama. We don't like, you know, lose time. We come, we try to come prepared. I mean, he comes super prepared.

And for me, which, you know, this was one of like my first big acting things. It was like to have someone like him supporting you. I would like if I would do something, I would try something. I would look at him to see his reaction. And, you know, it was like really amazing for me to have a partner like him. Yeah, he's...

It's true, because he's an actor's actor. He's a dramatic actor. He's going to be on the show at some point, too. I've known him forever. He's seen it all, done it all. Everything. The stories he has. Right? Yeah, he's insane. He has great stories. I love him. So let me ask you, so Modern Family, you're on the Fox lot. I think we might be doing my show, 9-1-1 Lone Star, in your old...

I think we're in your old... Stage five? Stage five, yeah. Okay, so it's going to be great. Did you leave any graffiti? Any messages, anything? I must have chewed some gum and left it somewhere for sure, you know, hiding somewhere, but I don't even remember exactly where. You're going to have to look for it. Some old almonds? There's some old almonds on the floor? Oh my God, I love that stage so much. It was great. It was amazing. And it was, you know, it's to shoot right there in the middle of...

You don't have to drive far away. For me, it was great to go to work over there. It was like five minutes, 10 minutes away from my house. That was great. How are you liking America's Got Talent? Well, so when Modern Family was ending, I kind of had a little bit of anxiety about what am I going to do next? Because what are the odds of...

an actress or an actor to hitting something as good of modern family after having 11 years of our run like that that you're going to immediately find a show where it's going to be like that that only happens to eroneo for example but he didn't marry with children and then he he got modern family but that doesn't happen to it to everyone yeah and so i was like what am i gonna do and then

Then they proposed to me to do AGT and I'm like, what? Why am I going to do AGT? I don't know anything about music or I don't know anything about magic or how I might be judging anyone. Who am I to be judging anyone? And then I thought, well, I guess I can be like, just be fair, say what I think and just...

pretend that I'm just like someone watching TV and be like the voice of the people that are watching TV. You know, they're none of them are experts like me. And I thought, you know what? This maybe is the job that I need to do because it's so different for modern family. This completely, completely, you know, like,

everything. And I'm glad that I did say yes because it's been an amazing experience. It's such an amazing group of people also. Who's the current lineup of judges representing

right now? It's Simon Cowell. It's Heidi Klum, which I love. And it's Howie Mandel, who's been there like from forever. And so they've all been there for forever. So it's great. I like working with people that have done it before so that I can, you know, I try to follow the lead and then I know that I'm doing the right thing. Wow.

I'm a big Simon fan. I always thought Simon was the best thing about American Idol. The Simon years and the American Idol years were great. I've always thought that there – I don't mean to sound mean, but I've always thought that there should be a – you'd have to – when they give you your Screen Actors Guild card, you should have to go and meet Simon because I think that there should be somebody. Because, darling, it's never going to work. Exactly. Darling, please. Please. Please.

Go back to Iowa. I think having a Simon would be a good thing. I know.

I know that's what my husband always said is like, you guys need Simon because Simon is the only one that really tells them to stop losing their time so that they can move on and start something in their life and they don't get stuck. He's great. You know, he's very, very into what he's doing. He's very fair with his judging, which I love. And, and he loves his work and he loves, I think he loves being there. He loves all of us. And,

And it's been super fun. I got super nervous because last year, which was my first season, the day before we started the live shows, which I had never done live shows, he was in an accident and broke his back.

So we were alone. We didn't we weren't able to have him for the live shows. So I was super nervous because I'm like, oh, my God, Simon is not going to be here. The show is going to who am I going to look up to? The show is going to fall apart. The audience is not going to watch it. But we did great. It was amazing. Heidi and Howie, you know, raised up to the situation. And it was amazing. We finished the season without him. Now is how Howie is a noted germaphobe. Is that true?

I don't know. I think he is less than what he says he is because, I mean, I forget all the time that I'm not supposed to touch him or whatever. And I touch him and he's never like pushed me away or, you know. Wait, wait, wait, hang on. Let me just see if I can understand this concept. Hang on. Yeah.

And you, no one's ever pushed you away when you want to touch. I just think that says more about you because I don't think there are very many people that are going to push you away if you want to touch them. I'm just saying. I think Howard Hughes would let you bear hug him anytime. Well, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but certainly I think he sometimes...

I mean, he says he's medicated so that he's not that bad. Because I always ask him, you don't seem that bad. You know, I just hug you. I just kiss you. But he's amazing. He is. Do you think COVID for somebody like Howie Mandel is just the ultimate I told you so?

Imagine. Yeah, he was really happy. He was like, like, well, not happy because COVID happened, but he was happy that, you know, finally that people were, you know, doing what he wanted them to do. Yeah. Hi, Mandel. Wear a mask. Wear a mask. People, I've been telling you this since 1973. Don't do handshakes. That he was very happy about.

He probably is the Yoda of COVID. It's like Howie Mandel is like who you would want to go to. Give me all your tricks, man. How have you been living? Tell me about the bunker you have at your house. What's going on? Poor guy. I mean, but I think he does pretty well for it. Whatever it is that he's, you know, that thing that he has inside of him, he's, I think he has it under control. That's amazing. What's the, do you have any memory of

What's the worst thing, worst group you've seen on or person in America's Got Talent? Like we like, oh, my God, I don't even know if I can properly judge this. I'm going to struggle for something to say. Like, has anybody come on that stage? You're like, oh, boy.

Oh yeah. There's many times actually that you see these people come in and you're like, they do what they came to do. And you're like, you feel so bad or you feel like a little bit annoyed or you feel like angry. It's like, why is this guy here making us lose our time? This is serious for God's sake. And yeah,

Yeah, there's been there's been horrific things, but I think it also becomes part of the fun of the show because, you know, we all give them the X's. But there have been I mean, oh, my God, a lot of them that have been bad. And but we but for some reason that we end up laughing about them. So it's it's all good. Do you have a category that you like more than others like?

Some people love magic. Other people are like, oh, my God, magic again. Like, is there a certain like if here comes a contortionist and you're like, yeah, I'm down with the contortionist. Like, is there a certain like area that you like more than others?

Well, this has been like a completely new experience for me to see all these acts. Like last season, this season that we just finished half of it, we saw 200 people, 200 auditions. So I didn't know that, for example, I enjoyed so much the dancing ones. I love when the people come out and dance like seriously. I didn't know that. I didn't know that I hated the ukulele, for example. I never even thought about that instrument in my life. And now...

It kind of like every time I see it, I'm like, oh, by the way, the ukulele, the ukulele is having a moment. I'm sad to say. Yes. No, I know. There's a lot of people playing it. And it's not that I hate it. And it's not like I'm going to immediately say, you know, give them an X because they walk in on this on the stage with a ukulele. But immediately kind of like it has to be really good for me to get excited for it. I didn't know that, for example, I didn't know I had such a strange feeling for a little guitar.

But, you know, it's a fun show. There's something about the ukulele. I don't know what it is. One of my favorite movies in the world is Moneyball, a Brad Pitt movie. It's one of my favorite movies of the year. And every time I watch it, I'm just enthralled by that movie. It's just better than I remembered. He's a genius in it. It's so well written. It's all good. And then it ends with that little girl with that goddamn ukulele singing that song. Oh, so you don't like it either? It's not only me. I want to murder somebody. Do you like it?

He turns down the job of a lifetime to go back to the ukulele song girl. Don't they use the ukulele a lot in Hawaii? Yeah, they do, right? That's different. Oh, it's different? Yes, they play it differently. How do you call it over there? I don't know. But I do know they play it differently. It's like they play the slide guitar there. In Nashville, it's the slide guitar. But in Hawaii, it's the same exact instrument. But it's played so differently. Like, I'm down with it. Because that's what I thought. It had never bothered me.

And I've only seen that in Hawaii when I would be in Hawaii or in, you know, like in Bora Bora. It's kind of like the same instrument. But it had never created any feelings for me. Because here's what it is. You want the ukulele playing...

Polynesian music. That's what it's made for. It's gorgeous. You don't want the ukulele playing Hey Jude. Yeah. You don't want that. Nobody wants that. But do you think that nobody or it's just us? I don't know. Oh, I think there's a great uprising coming. There's a big anti-ukulele thing and we're going to lead it. You and I are going to be the faces of it, clearly. And we'll be right back after this.

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All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I'll never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel.

Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply. Which is more uncomfortable for you? Because this would be my thing if I were a judge. I don't know which would make me more irritable, angry, like want to give them an X more. Somebody who is bad and doesn't know it or somebody who knows they're bad and is there just to goof and waste everybody's time. I'm not sure which is worse.

Well, I thought at the beginning that when they would come and they were really bad and they knew it and they were coming just to move, it was like a waste of our time. But then I realized that when they're editing the show, they kind of, you know, make it like a package of the bad things. And that kind of works on the show. It's kind of fun. So now I'm like, I am I now I'm like, oh, OK, so this is part of the show. But it is very hard when you know that these people have been rehearsing for years, that this is their dream, that this is what they want to do. And they're not good at it.

It's super, super hard. And that's why it's so amazing to have someone like Simon Cowell, because you let him tell them and destroy their dreams. I mean, like, it's hard. You don't want to you don't want to say that to someone. It's like it's super heartbreaking.

But you have to be fair because it's a competition about who is the best. And you're loving it. You're having a blast. And it's a good change of pace. What I like about it for you is that it's...

You're not trying to do what would clearly be the next step after Modern Family. It's not another show. It's something completely outside of it. And I think that's really cool. I enjoy trying to do the same thing myself, to just completely turn the page and do

do something new. And if, but I mean, obviously if something came up, you would, you'd do another comedy in a minute, right? Oh yeah, of course. If it was something that I thought it was going to be great. Yeah. But like, not just to work because I mean, the good thing is that now I can, you know, I can pick whatever I want to do. And so that's great. But, but definitely, I think I would do it. I mean, I don't know if I would want to do a show that is not a comedy for

you know, a hundred seasons because it's a lot of work. I'm going to be almost 50 in a year. So I don't want to be working that much anymore. But, but I like working. I like working. I just want to work in the things that I, that I really enjoy. Now I don't need the money. So now I can pick. And you like the theater, right? You've been on Broadway. I know that. Would you, would you ever have any, do you want to go back and do that area?

Oh, I know. I don't think so. That was like super stressful for me because I mean, this is the story of my life. I mean, I I went to an audition because my agents said, of course, I have told my agents I can sing a little bit. I can dance.

But I never thought that there was going to be an opportunity. And then they told me, you want to do this? And I'm like, you want to go to this audition? I didn't want to say no to them, you know, because and seem like, oh, this girl does, you know, it's not a

appreciating that they're offering her to audition. So I said, you know what? I'm going to go. I want to do the audition in New York, whatever. They're going to say no. And that's it. I'm not going to do Broadway. Why? I didn't deserve to do Broadway. I've never been on a stage. I've never seen professionally. I've never done theater. I've never gone to an acting class. I don't deserve to be there. So I'm just going to go to prove, you know, to be

her working so my agency see that I'm up for everything and I'm not going to get it and period. Of course not. I leave the audition two hours later. You got the part. What? I would. I'm like, no, no.

no, please, I don't want it. I can't do it. I beg you. I can't do this. So the story of my life, I had to suck it in and pretend I knew what I was doing. I went there. I had only two weeks of rehearsal. Wait, what? It was horrible. It was amazing. It was like I had to learn all the songs in two weeks. Then I had to do like it was like another week of rehearsals in New York on the theater with the whole crew.

with the whole cast and then that was it go out there and do it um i played mama morton and it was a lot of chicago chicago yeah and it was like i did it for two months it was like amazing i mean i

It's unbelievable what those actors, those performers do day in and day out. Like sometimes it's two times a day during the weekends. It's hard. It's hard work. And it's a lot of fun. I had a great time, but I don't know if I can do that again. It was like really nerve wracking. It's eight shows a week in the theater. Yes.

is just an unbelievable discipline and just an unbelievable. And when you get beyond a hundred, I feel like a hundred shows, uh,

is, is, is the barometer. If you, once you start getting beyond a hundred shows, it's just a whole other animal. It's not for everybody. Yeah, no, but, but I'm so grateful that I got to do that experience. Imagine, I mean, I mean, and I never even planned it. So I'm super thankful, but I don't think I can do it. I'll, I'll give the opportunity to someone else that deserves it. See, that's, I love being on stage and I love, like, my thing is I, there's a,

If I lived in New York, I would I would do it. It's the living in New York part that would be hard for me because I love where I live now. But like, I love the theater. I would love to just do that. Because you're a real actor. You've been I mean, for how long have you been acting? Yeah.

Since I was eight. Imagine you are an actor. You're real. I'm not. I started super late. I was like 30 something. I mean, it's like, all I ever wanted was to have jobs, to make money, to be able, you know, to, to survive. I was never dreaming of being famous or being an actress or anything. So of course you would love it for me. It's like, you know, I just lie and never, ever, ever get tired of it. Look at, and I'm,

Whenever I talk on this show about show business, which is a lot, people know that I'm ambivalent, probably at best, you know. But one of the great things about show business is how people come to it, you know. And you came to it in your 30s. It was not something you – I was a kid who – that's all I wanted. You were somebody who was like, I don't know, I'll try it. And it works out. You just – people come to this –

crazy thing we do from a billion different areas. Well, I had been in the entertainment business for a long time in the Latin world, but not acting. I had been, you know, a TV host and, but never really acting. So I kind of knew what, you know, to be,

You know, out there was to have fame to all of that. I knew about all of that, but I didn't know anything about acting. Who have you learned the most from Ed? Ed knows. It has to be. Yeah, that's it. Right. Yeah. The best. He's so good. Ed is a lot of people forget that Ed was in Wayne's World and he has this tiny little party, plays the owner of the donut shop.

And he's so... And he's like a psychopath. He may be a murderer in it. He's great. He's really dark in it. Like super dark and disturbing. And it's so funny in the middle of this...

romp Ed shows up and just is like, like, what movie is he in? I only knew Ed from Married with Children, but which I would watch in Colombia in Spanish. So I didn't even know how his real voice sounded. You know, I thought he sounded like Antonio Banderas in Spanish because that's I always knew Ed's voice.

So it was like a lot of fun when I met him. Wow. That's yeah. Yeah. Your people's dubbed voices are kind of amazing, aren't they? Yeah. It's a completely different thing. It's like, I hate it when I hear myself that it is like, but no, that was not the joke. She ruined the joke. Oh yeah. I, my, I was in France and one of my movies came on and,

I mean, I guess the good news was the guy, I guess he sounded sexy, but his voice was like this. I was like, what? I'm not like Darth Vader, like hot Darth Vader. But you don't know, you don't know French, so you don't know really if it was working, what he was doing.

No. But I know Spanish. So when I hear myself in Spanish, I'm like, no! It's like, no. Wait, why wouldn't you? Well, because you're too busy. That's why. But I mean, it's almost like insane that they wouldn't just have you do it. But I mean, I know that's a whole other thing.

I thought about it at the beginning, like, come on, I'm going to do it. But it would have been insane. I mean, we did, we did, I don't know, 300 episodes. I mean, I would have, I would have not been able to do it. I mean, they would have, I would have done it at the beginning. Then I started getting so much other work that I wouldn't have finished it. So no, but it would have made sense that I would have done it. Yeah. But you're right. That would have been way,

too much work. Yeah, yeah. Too much. And for way too little extra pay, for sure. Okay, so I need to ask you just quickly about the Three Stooges. Now, you may go under of all your filmography why I want to talk about the Three Stooges. But the reason I want to talk to you about the Three Stooges is this. Why? So, Three Stooges was made in 2009? Yes. 2012? Yeah. Right? I think it was 2012. 2012. 2012. So...

I grew up with Sean Penn. We went to junior high together, went to high school together. Sean Penn was always and still is one of the great. He was when we were coming up, he was the greatest actor who ever was. And we were all just scuffling around behind him. And nothing has changed. And so then Sean finally wins the Academy Award for Milk. Right. And in one of the great performances that I've ever, ever seen, ever all time.

And I run into Sean, not, it must have been maybe five days after he's won the Oscar for Milk.

And we're talking and I'm congratulating him. And I grew up with him, but we don't, we weren't, he was a little bit older and we weren't really friends. We knew, but we certainly knew each other and our families knew each other. So, but so I'm hugging him and it's just a, it's just a great moment. And he's like, you want to see something? I'm like, sure. He goes, this is what I'm doing next. I am. And I am so excited. I mean, I just am. And he's like a little kid and he's so giddy and he pulls out a phone and it's a makeup test for the three stooges. What?

Yeah. No way. And it literally is Sean.

In Three Stooges makeup. What happened? On his phone. And he's like a kid. He's so good. He's won the fucking Academy Award for milk. And his follow up is going to be the Three Stooges. Are you kidding me? No, I'm absolutely not kidding you. He didn't do it, I think. And obviously he ended up never doing it. But it was he and Jim Carrey. Oh, my God. I love Jim Carrey.

It was he and Jim Carrey, and I forget who the third person was. Can you imagine that version of the movie? Oh, my God. Now I want that version. Why didn't they do it? That would have been spectacular. Oh, my God. I think the only... So he was playing...

So there's Curly, what was I going to say? Curly, Merly and Moe. That's not right. No, I remember Moe. Moe, Curly. I feel like we're on Mental Samurai, my game show now and about to get ejected. Name the three stooges. Curly. Well, I should know them. Merly.

Moe. It's Moe. Curly. Yes. Moe for sure. People, podcast listeners all over America are going, those are the two stupidest actors I've ever heard that they don't know the Three Stooges. Well, at least I am Latin and I'm not expected to know these things. You, on the other hand, that's what they're going to be thinking. No, you know what? You're right. I shouldn't have included you in my incompetence. Yeah.

But I don't know the... I only did a movie, The Three Stooges. The problem is I mix them up with the Pep Boys, who I know who they are. The Pep Boys are Manimo and Jack. You don't have anyone in the studio that can tell you, for God's sake? You don't have anyone there? No, my producers are looking at me like laughing and shaking their heads, but they're not helping. Yeah.

Like, would it kill you? Larry. There it is. Jeez. This, by the way, there's the title. The episode where Devin speaks is the title of this episode because Devin never pops off. And I wish he would more often. Larry, Curly and Mo. Yes. Sean was the one in the bowl haircut. No, no.

I don't know who is who. But anyway, I would have liked to have seen that movie. I would have loved to see that. I love Jim Carrey. My son used to be such a fan of Jim Carrey that I watched all his movies like 100 million times. He's a genius. Total genius. Genius. Who were the three stooges in your movie again? It was Sean Haynes and... Love him. Um...

I don't mean to put you on the spot. Yeah, no, you did. Now I can remember any American name in the world. I can remember names like Jose Raul, Guillermo Andres, Francisco Javier, Alejandro Mario. But if you tell me someone like John Smith, that name to me, it's like, you know, that's amazing. But give me like a complicated name and that I'll remember because that's what I'm used to.

Well, because we don't have any names where you can roll your tongue. That's really what it is, basically. You can't go George Smith. It doesn't work. It's not like I like the way I like the way you said espresso. You were describing that craft service table. I mean, listen, I love coffee as much as the next guy. But here you talk about it. I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Expresso.

Oh, I love it. I love coffee. Now I can't drink anymore that much coffee, but I used to a lot. What? Wait a minute. I'm, that's the, it's my last vice. That and a good Cuban cigar now. Oh my God. That's great. My husband loves Cuban cigars too. Yeah. Have you ever tried the Cuban coffee? You would love that with a cigar. Absolutely.

Have you tried? I'm going to have to. I mean, you die. It's amazing. It's the most delicious experience in the world. Yeah. But no, I don't drink that much coffee anymore. I have like it gives me like I'm almost I guess I'm old now. So it gives me like I like a heartburn if I have like too many coffee now. You're the farthest thing from old. I'm looking at you on my little Zoom thing and you look like you're 30.

Yeah, right. I mean, yeah, because I have super dark room here so that everything looks blurry. I didn't know that you were actually a blonde because I'm so used to seeing you not not blonde. And were they in early in your career? Like, don't be blonde. Yes, yes, yes. Of course. Yeah. I did a screen test with a movie with Adam Sandler and the director told me you should put your hair dark. And I did put my hair dark.

And I didn't get the part. But after that, it kind of like clicked everything. Then I started getting jobs because at the beginning, you know, in Hollywood, you would only think of Latin as...

dark skin, dark hair, you know, more Latin looking. And I am blonde. My whole family is blonde. And so it clicked. And then when I was already famous with Modern Family, I started, you know, letting it go back to my real color. But now everybody knows me. Now everybody knows I'm Latin. So now I don't have to pretend. Yeah.

I can be myself now. You can be yourself. Yeah. But it worked. It was the best thing I did was to change my hair to dark. Isn't that funny how something like that can happen? Even athletes, baseball players and hockey players have that thing where if they have a great game, they don't shave. That's what you see in the World Series. So many people with beards is like,

People get very superstitious also. Well, I didn't do it because of superstition. I did it so that I could convince people that I was Latin. That's so insane. Like your accent wasn't enough. That my accent wasn't fake.

That's amazing. But I don't mind. I don't mind those things. You know, I don't mind those things that need to be done for you to to get what you want. You know, if I if what the people needed was for me to put my hair dark, I mean, of course, I'll go ahead and I do it. I would do whatever needs to be done. It wasn't like anything, you know, dramatic or offensive for me or they don't appreciate me now. Like, OK, you think that's what's going to work? Let's do it.

I think that that's such a great attitude. And, you know, I think people who have that attitude at the end of the day, rise, you know, rise up. Well, I think it's because we're from another generation. You know, I think we have like, we have thicker skin. I think we grew up, you know, in a different generation where I think we're like that. I, it's different now, you know, I guess for some things is good, but I think for some things it brings a lot of,

Unnecessary drama that, you know, just makes things harder for everyone. How old is your son? He is 29. He's going to be 30. Oh, my God. So we're sort of in the same boat. My son's a little bit younger, but they're like adults. I was going to ask about his generation, but they're adults. They're not even the young. Yeah, they're not even the young, young anymore. Yeah.

But, you know, he's great, but he does have a little bit of, and my niece too, I have a niece that is like my daughter. She's 29. And they, you know, they're different than our generation. Yeah. And listen, we were different than our parents. I mean, you always think it's not going to happen to you, right? You're always like, well, it's not, that's not going to happen to me. And then sure enough, it's like,

it is what it is. The world is what the world is. And my grandpa was different than my dad and I'm different than Mike. And it just, it just keeps the beat just keeps on playing. Yeah. And I think, you know, the harder you had, you had, it doesn't mean that you become, you know, a tougher person or a better person. It's just, you know, it makes you different. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. When do you go back to the next season of, of,

We finished the auditions a month ago. And now in, I want to say like a month and a half, in a month and a half, we're going to start the live shows. So, and then that's, that's going to take also like, like another two months and then the season is done, but it's been great. It started like a couple of weeks ago and

And the people have been, you know, loving the shows. We have a lot of great talent this year also. I think a lot of people were in their house rehearsing because of the pandemic. So the people that were good have been really, really good. Well, there's a lot of ukulele players coming out of the woodwork. No, no, this is not that much. Nope.

There were a couple that not like a lot. Last season when I did them the first time, there was a lot. That's when I realized, for God's sake, why? But yeah.

Please do that this season. If somebody comes out, just be like when they pull out that instrument, just be for God's sakes. Why? Before they even start. Why that tiny little guitar? Get a big one. Tiny little guitar. Is it? Now, let me ask you a question. Is it the size of the guitar that's offending you or is it the sound of the guitar? I don't know. Now that you say it now, I'm going to think about it. Maybe it is the size.

It might be the size. Maybe it's awkward. It's awkward. It doesn't look like it's proportionate to the person. I mean, unless you're a tiny little girl, then it fits great. And even then, I don't like it, clearly. With a tiny little guitar, it makes no sense. No, it doesn't. We've solved a lot here. We really have. I think we've started to trend the anti-ukulele trend. Yeah.

And, you know, I feel like that's all I can hope for for my day. Yes. Right. Don't you? I mean, we I finally I I got you here. You see, now we're going to offend people that like ukulele. We have to be careful nowadays.

Yeah, it's true. Like I said, you can't win. No. I guess I could say I also like ukuleles, but the truth is I don't. What are you going to do? You were great. Thank you so much. This was so fun. Thank you so much, Rob. Catching up with you. Thank you. It was great. And say hello to Joe for me. Give him my best. I will. I will. Thank you so much. I hope that you get to talk to Ed too soon. I'm going to. Well, first of all, I'm going to see Ed over 4th of July because I'm going to Hawaii and we always end up at the gym together.

He's always on like the elliptical next to me. I always look over and it's always Ed. You know, Ed used to work out a lot. You know, he's super fit. Ed is like 70 something, but he's solid. You touch him and he's, you know...

He's great. Well, I will give him a big hug. Tell him I love him and that I miss him so much. I will. Thank you. Thank you for being with me. And I'll be watching for you judging some more ukuleles very shortly. Thank you so much. Bye, honey. Big kiss. Bye, darling. Bye. Spending time with her, Sophia, is like spending time with a dolphin. Like, you just feel good. Do you know what I mean? It's like you hear a baby's laugh.

It releases something inside your body. You see a dolphin or you feel good and you have a conversation like I just have with Sophia and you just feel good. I'm feeling good. I hope you're feeling good too because the world could use it and I'm happy to provide it when I can. Okay, so before we wrap up for the week, it is time. Yes, it is. I know you're ready. I know I am for the lowdown line. Hello, you've reached literally in our lowdown line.

where you can get the lowdown on all things about me, Rob Lowe. 323-570-4551. So have at it. Here's the beep. Hey, Rob. Randy from South Carolina. You've mentioned several times that you're a big Dodgers fan, great sports fan. So if you became a major league player, what would your walk-up song be and why?

It's got to be a good one. It's got to get everyone on their feet to cheer for Rob Lowe when he comes to bat. Let's hear it. Well, Randy from South Carolina, I am a Dodger fan. In fact, I am going to a Dodger game the minute I'm done talking to you. And Randy, I'll have you know, I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. A lot, a lot of time. In fact, I commute so much in my car that one of the games that I play is

switching channels and whatever channel that comes on, that has to be my walk-up song. And then just loving the debacle that that inevitably becomes like, that's the song I have to walk up to. So that's a good, by the way, I'm giving you a good game. If you want to have a good game and you're boarding your car, you're like with your kids, like, all right, all right, junior, this is going to be your walk-up song. You ready? You turn it and whatever song it is, that's his walk-up song. All right, honey, it's really fun. But that said, um,

I mean, I think I'm going to go with maybe Eminence Front, Sweet Emotion. And maybe, and there's a part, it's in the, it's not the bridge, but there's a very specific part of Baba O'Reilly and Won't Get Fooled Again. And then if I really wanted to fuck someone's head up, it would be the opening to Gimme Shelter.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Randy. Those are good ones. Huh? Huh? Then you can choose. You get to choose which one of them. Thanks for the question. Great question. Thanks for listening. And I'll see you next time. Don't forget to subscribe so all of us end up in each other's lives in perpetuity. And I'll see you next week on Literally. You have been listening to Literally with Rob Lowe. Produced and engineered by me, Devin Tory Bryant.

Executive produced by Rob Lowe for Lowe Profile. Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Stitcher. The supervising producer is Aaron Blairt. Talent producer, Jennifer Sampras. Please rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts. And remember to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.

At Ashley, you'll find colorful furniture that brings your home to life. Ashley makes it easier than ever to express your personal style with an array of looks in fun trending hues to choose from, from earth tones to vibrant colors to calming blues and greens. Ashley has pieces for every room in the house in the season's most sought after shades. A more colorful life starts at Ashley. Shop in store online today. Ashley, for the love of home.

All set for your flight? Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T-Mobile, headphones. Wait, T-Mobile? You bet. Free in-flight Wi-Fi. 15% off all Hilton brands. I'll never go anywhere without T-Mobile. Same goes for my water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm going to leave you to it. Find out how you can experience travel better at T-Mobile.com slash travel.

Qualifying plan required. Wi-Fi were available on select U.S. airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15% discount terms and conditions apply.