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cover of episode Breaking The Anxious Attachment Cycle: 3 Steps To Take

Breaking The Anxious Attachment Cycle: 3 Steps To Take

2025/4/10
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Conor Beaton
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Conor Beaton: 焦虑型依恋的核心在于,我需要你没事才能感到安全。这源于童年时期,可能需要承担照顾者情绪的责任,导致将安全感外化,缺乏内在的安全感。 第一步是培养内在的安全感。这可以通过呼吸练习来调节焦虑情绪,例如腹式呼吸或方块呼吸法,让呼气时间长于吸气时间,从而降低心率和皮质醇水平。同时,要将伴侣的情绪与自身的安全感区分开来,即使伴侣情绪不好,自己也能保持平静,并用积极的自我肯定来应对。 第二步是识别“错误警报”,即在关系中看到不存在的问题。焦虑型依恋的人往往会过度解读伴侣的行为,产生不必要的担忧。要学会识别这些错误警报,例如伴侣没有及时回复信息就感到焦虑,并提醒自己这可能是自己的焦虑在作祟,而不是伴侣的问题。同时,要减少过度沟通,专注于自我调节,避免将焦虑带入关系中。 第三步是练习平静的连接。焦虑型依恋的人往往在连接时会感到紧张和焦虑,这会影响关系的质量。要学会在连接之前先进行自我调节,例如深呼吸或冥想,让自己处于平静的状态,再与伴侣沟通。这有助于建立更安全和信任的关系。

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Talking points: attachment, relationships, mindset

Anxious attachment can make any relationship feel fraught with tension and threat. It doesn't have to be that way, and there are clear steps you can take that really do get results. Start with these ones.

(00:00:00) - Anxious attachment refresher

(00:04:04) - Priority number one: develop safety internally—and how

(00:09:37) - Number two: recognize false flags

(00:14:10) - Number three: practice calm connection


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