Shownotes Transcript
The Wild Wild West. And hey, we're here live. Verdansk. We're starting now. The beginning of that didn't count. Verdansk. Verdansk returns. The box of rations. What an insane choice that was. What? To say that right away. I know. It's pretty crazy. Verdansk. Where is Verdansk? Is that just a made up place in Call of Duty? Yeah. The original map. I think it's in the Ukraine. They're getting fucked up. True.
verdansk ukraine verdansk i'm excited i like call of duty is important man call of duty is like a it is for like dudes well-being i feel like dudes need to play call of duty at nighttime now more than ever i think yeah men are lonely it's actually the most stressful dejected right yeah i got mlb this show going myself you what i got a career going road to the show baseball
What's going on with it? Taking Joey Weaver. He got drafted. I went to TCU. They included college baseball in it for the beginning, and that got me high school and college. You played high school baseball? I played a little high school baseball. Wait, on a video game, you're playing as high schoolers? Don't worry about it. That's crazy. There's nothing I can do. That's when the career starts. What do you want me to do? That should be illegal. And you were playing as the high schooler? You play as girls in Call of Duty, dude. Shut up. You play as girls in Call of Duty? Dude, I'll be that chick she's got like Vitiligo.
Yeah. That's a character you can choose is a black chick with a vitiligo. What? Yeah. It's crazy.
I think Vitiligo, that's the skin. Yeah, where she's got natural camouflage. That's why I chose her. The Vitiligo community might be the most overrepresented community in the world. It's a very small percentage of people. Every fucking model I look at's got it. You know what I mean? They're everywhere. I've never seen one of them in real life. I've seen a couple in real life. Yeah, take that back. I think there's that guy that hangs out at the bar by us.
I saw a bit of Lego, bro, walking. Yeah, I would say there's definitely more. I feel like they're outside, bro. There's more than you think. A lot of them wear makeup to hide it. Now it's becoming a thing where they're normalizing it. And you're like, nah, dude, get that makeup back. No, normalize it. It's nice. Normalize it. I'm excited when I see it. I've talked about it before, but there were some albino Indians that worked at the Sbarro's in my mall growing up. The original Aryans? Yeah.
And I was very excited to see them. What? Every time I go, holy hell. Dude, that's something I've never seen. This is like the 90s. I was like, we don't have any differences in Mechanicsburg. I never even knew Indians could be Albino. They were. I think the fucking alligators can be Albino. Anybody can be Albino. Public constrictors, Indians. Yeah.
That's a fair point. That's exciting. What was their vibe? They were great. They were running around. They have to be. The family owned the Sbarro's and they were just, they were having a good time. And that's genetic. Was the fan, was like a portion of the family? A lot of the fan was Albano. There was Albano kids. And the wall, they were right next to the wall.
In the food court, so they would just run over there. Why did they immigrate to America? Do you think they're being worshipped too much over in India? Probably. They were probably on one of those 900-foot towers that everyone in the village carries and drops. They keep dropping them. They drop them every day. No. In India, there's some ritual where they build a giant tower.
It's like a parade float and they carry it and it collapses every time and everyone has to run. I've seen it. It's my algorithm is Indian towers collapsing.
India's sick. India's getting like a lot of recognition right now on social media. Not a lot of it's great. I'll be honest. People are being pretty negative towards them. They were negative for a while. Now they're back. I think so. It's pretty. They survived it. India got canceled for like a month. And now they're back, dude. They're getting that bump. Well, dude, fucking Ramaswamy's back. He's going to be like the governor of Ohio, I think. Yeah, Ramaswamy's giving it a shot. He bounced back. He was going to be president. Then he spazzed on Twitter. Now he's governor of Ohio. Not bad. Yeah.
Not bad. He's got a lot of time. Shoot for the moon. Yeah, exactly. Where's Casey? End up in fucking Ohio. Aim for the stars. Yeah. And you'll land in Ohio. Well, it's good to be here with Luis J. Gomez. Thanks, Shane. I missed you, buddy. I missed you, too. It's been too long. It has. What have you been up to?
Me? Just working hard, man. Working hard. I told you guys I applied for Beast Games. Applying for Beast Games is... You applied for Beast Games? I applied for Beast Games. That's why we need to move it up a little. He's got a meeting this afternoon to apply for Beast Games. What the fuck? I don't know how much I'm allowed to say at this point. What are the challenges? I don't know. What if they put me on the spot right now and they have a gun to my son's head? They're like, how much? $5,000. Let me pull the trigger. You got it.
What is the layout of that show? I didn't watch it yet. The first layout is, it was great. There's like, everyone's in the same room and they offer your row. Like you can eliminate your entire row and take the bribe, the money. Yeah. But then everyone else in your row is eliminated and it gets up to like 150,000 and people are like, no, I'm staying. I love you guys. Got up to a million. I love you. They did this the entire fucking time. The million thing made me want to kill myself. The million thing's crazy.
I think we talked about it. As soon as they hit $100,000, I was like, psh, goodbye. This is what I've been laughing about. I hope you get the show and you bail on five bucks. Eliminate 100 people, go 10 bucks. But what if they counter-eliminate you? How does that work? You're out. You get nothing and you're done. Yeah, you could walk out with nothing. No, it's a psychotic show. $10 million was the grand prize on season one. But how do you get it, though? I don't understand. Then there's a bunch of challenges. But the first thing to eliminate half the contestants was people being greedy and taking it and eliminating everybody. But-
The whole time, everybody was going, I love you, dude. I'll never... They just met. Yeah, dude. Within the first hour, there's people crying. Everyone's crying. It's crazy. It's actually crazy. People are sacrificing themselves. They'll be like, I'll get eliminated for you, dude. Go win this. You need it. They don't know each other. They've never met. This is the most insane... You're going to fit right in. It's going to be nuts, dude. You're going to beat the fuck out of someone for taking the bribe. You're going to fucking... You're going to go insane. You cannot be on the show. Did you see the one where they're in the cube? Yeah.
Did you watch the whole thing? I watched, hold on, was the cube worth three people going? The guy who didn't take a million got eliminated over like a sandwich. So at one point, each group, there's like four groups of 100 people. Maybe they have to pick one person that they think is trustworthy. That won't take the bribe. Because if you take the bribe, your entire team is eliminated and you get to stay.
Yeah. And a chance to win. So they have four, three or four people up on the stage. They're on this big platform. They're offered a million dollars each. No, but it starts off as $100,000 and then it's going to keep, they go, it's just going to keep rising. And if you hit the button, you take the money, your whole team gets eliminated. Which helps you. Which, and then you stay in. Which helps you get a chance to win. And it gets to a million dollars and all four leaders didn't take the million dollars. They're out there crying. Again, they're all doing this again. Yeah. Yeah.
When did that become... Are there 99 people watching you? Yes. They're all like, don't do it, please. That's the best thing. And there's just guys up there like, I love you guys so much. I would never do it. How did they pick the trustworthy people? They picked the most insane... Yeah, they all vote who they think is the most trustworthy. I would do... That's my thing. I got to get in in the first couple episodes, act like I'm a sweetheart. You got to pick up like a $20 bill and like, someone drop this. Yeah.
This isn't mine. Anyway, I'm just going to leave it here. I would never do that. I don't even care about this stuff. That would be standing in front of 99 people. You just like a kicked off a TV and be like, just dash their hopes of making millions of dollars would be a pretty interesting feeling. Yeah. Santa, if I don't let go. Not doing it is the dumbest thing ever. Yeah. Cause at that point it's supposed to be one person winning $5 million. Yeah.
Yeah, the end result is everyone gets eliminated except one person. Yeah, exactly. So who won? Who won the whole thing? I didn't finish it. You want me to give a spoiler? Sure. Is Beast Game still ongoing? No, the first season's done, but the guy who won his...
He was like a really nice guy. His kid's got some disease, some like creatine deficiency disorder. And he's like, dude, he's like, I'm going to use this entire $10 million to cure my son's disease. You're like, that's a good guy. That guy should win the game. I'm going to buy a jet and hookers. So I'm going to spend all my money on hookers from Verdansk. And I'm going to fly them in. Wait, the son can't like produce creatine?
I guess it's something. He must not have gone to high school with me. All we did was creatine. We just bullied this little kid. I really used to think creatine was steroids. I thought creatine was like an insane thing. I had no idea it was a natural thing in your body. Yeah, like it's apparently something you like kind of have to take. I've learned. I take it. So do I. I don't know what it is. I can tell you take it too, by the way. You can tell I'm getting all swollen. You did get jacked. Full of water. See, you look like me. I look like I'm fucking drowned. Yeah.
Damn. So he used the whole 10 mil? You're taking creatine? I've been taking creatine. Goddamn, man. I've been taking it every day. Yeah, I like it. You're all over it. That's good. Hey, Matt. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. I'm pumped for opening day. It's good to see some Phillies baseball again. Hopefully our bullpen improves with Jesus Lizardo.
Speaking of pitching for the Phillies, what was throwing out the first pitch like? I'll tell you what. I was probably more nervous about that than hosting SNL. I just didn't want to end up like 50 Cent. And get shot nine times or what happened? If I had to do it again, I'd take myself more than one nervous breakdown throwing out the first pitch. Citizens Bank Park, baby, book it. Wow. That, dude. This week on PrizePix, I'm going with...
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Really? Yeah. I've been talking to you guys. You can talk to a fellow. You cannot talk to the other guys. You cannot talk to guys. Unfortunately. But you can pick more or less. That is not part of the ad. That's something that may matter considering pitching two prize picks. Let us talk amongst each other. That'd be fun. Nice to chat with guys. Chat, meet up.
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Download the app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, run your game. Run your game. Must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details. It's time to run your game. Me and Lewis are stacking right now. We're T-maxing right now. You guys are fucking jacked. No, we're T-maxing right now. We're both trying to do endogenous T-maxers. What's that? Just boost your T with like adaptogens and shit. What's an adaptogen? It's like an herb. Anything like a natural substance.
Basically, adaptogen is just like a word for an herb. Your body adapts to the... Yeah, it just gens it up. But yeah, dude, I've been taking maca. I know about the maca. Maca, shilajit. I've been waiting for you to go on some shilajit. And moringa. And moringa? Bro, I woke up this morning...
With a boner. What are you doing with a merengue? It's my third day on it. I woke up for real like afflicted. Just kind of like, Jesus. I don't know. I didn't take anything in the whole. I flew home from London. I was hard for 11 hours. 11 hour flight. I had a boner the whole fucking flight. You didn't go rub one out? It was great. I considered it. You had a private jet? No, I wasn't on a private jet. I was just, but I jerk off on almost, almost every flight I'm on.
Whatever it is, the way I sit, I have fat thighs, so it just feels like my dick is inside of something, and I just get turned on by sitting for that long, and I go get one out. I shoot it right into the sink. The sink? The sink. I'll usually line it with paper towels, and then I, you know...
The sink is diabolical. Come on. Look, I've been there with you before, brother. I'm saying hit the toilet or like a napkin or something. The sink is crazy. No, I put napkins on flights. I've jacked off on flights. Sometimes, like you're saying, I've had that like crazy flight boner attack. This is the closest I've considered. And it was 11 hours, bro. I would take a nap. I'd wake up. It'd be harder. It'd be nuts. 11 hours. I would have jacked off five times on that flight. It was close. In your mind? It was close. On a flight, I will say, you're...
It's a quick one. Fast one. Quick one. Yeah, you just shoot it. And also, my head hurts immediately for some reason. Really? I get a really nasty headache after I come out of the vampire. It's probably because of all the pills you took to get super hard. It's probably a StemFap thing. Maybe. You're taking fucking Molly and meth. No, I don't take drugs anymore. I stopped smoking weed five months ago. Are you totally straight edge?
no i drank here i shouldn't have but now i'm back to not drinking again this was a lot what was the thing that sparked this what sparked your like i wanted to raise my tea but what like what brought it to your attention my doctor saying i had the tea of a young lady he was like are you a 12 year old girl i've ever talked to is like yeah i have no testosterone i was 339 was my testosterone number
I don't even know what that means. I have no idea. Whoever the big tea salesmen are. Joe Rogan? They're making fucking money. I've never talked to one guy that's gotten his tea checked that isn't like... Dude, I was talking about this on the podcast. That's why I'm tired all the time. It's like, no, you're just getting old. You're fucking tired. I agree. I was talking about it on the podcast and Tony Hinchcliffe was like, I'm going to set you up with my tea guy. I was like, it's okay, Tony. I'm not taking your testosterone.
Close your eyes and open your mouth. I'm going to give it to you.
What are your plans, though? What are you trying to get your tea up to? You want to be more aggressive. I want to be more horny. I want to jerk off more points. You're the horniest, angriest guy I've ever met. You have too much tea. No, I don't. The doctor was lying, dude. I've never met someone with more tea. You're high tea for sure. You're screaming and coming constantly. Yeah.
It's all you do. Chill out with the tea. It's all you do. If there was a Mucinex commercial for tea, you'd be the Mucous guy. I would not have you pegged for low tea. Did you like, you know all this stuff? Not low. So for my, I'm turning 43 next week. It was the lower, lower end of average for my age.
yeah but did you like sleep bad the night before i know that stuff affects it maybe i don't know i mean it was you know well you can't hurt you if you're just taking like moccas i'm taking i'm taking tongad ali that's my tongad ali is nice too yeah yeah that's my shit how did it work on you i think so i'm getting my teeth tested on april 3rd so we'll see if i've raised my testosterone levels nice i feel like nobody ever thought about this stuff ever before no people were mostly fine
yeah yeah you know what i mean like it was too much information we know too much we were we were all good but before we had social media and we can communicate you used to be able to talk to six people nobody was comparing tea nobody was talking about anything you know what it was i didn't even know like and also i think it's like kind of a gift from god that it drops off as you get older that's the last thing you need yeah just to have like high tea and be like fucking 50 it's just like you're setting yourself up for the most potent disaster ever
The thing with it, it's like, I think it's the, the manosphere podcasts have really fucked a lot of people up. Yeah. But it, it all does stem from Rogan, but he was being original.
You know what I mean? He's just like, now those were his interests and he got so popular that it's every dude in America's fucking interest. That's a fair point. He's like, I love jujitsu, tea. Space. Space is fucking nuts. Well, I've been on a space train since a young man. I used to read astronomy. Yeah, I used to read astronomy. Astronomy. Astronomy. I used to read astronomy all the time. Space, animals, animals attacking you, animals attacking each other. I've been on animals attacking you since I was a young lad, dude. Animals do rule.
Animals rock. I will say the tea is nice for end of life. If you want to, I really want to save it till I'm like, I'm going to really feel a dip to like the lowest possible, pretty much borderline trans. Yeah. And then just like a Phoenix out of the ashes. Yeah. Just be sitting there one day being like, and it's like, it's time. And just fucking just take so much tea and,
No, I'm not injecting anything into my body. I wouldn't inject. I'm not going to put a needle into my body. You have to. The pills are going to fry your liver.
No. Well, I don't take pills. I take a little powder. You do a little patch? You got to snort it? A little powder. A little rhino horn? If they made a snortable tea, I would do it, actually. Oh, that's a more fun way to do it. That would just be boss. You could probably snort creatine. I bet you it would go into your body the exact same way. I'll do a line of creatine with you right now. I think more people have snorted creatine than they realize. That's a common cut for cocaine. Really? Oh, yeah. Creatine is like...
Have you seen it? Creatine drip? A lot of people have snorted creatine without realizing it.
Get the creatine. Get the creatine out right now. Let's bump lines of creatine right now on the show. What a fun bit. I bet Call of Duty would love that. You can just do lines off that fucking load box or whatever that shit is. That's what it's for. Bumping creatine off it would be kind of nasty. I might bump some fucking coke off that.
We got a fucking Call of Duty sponsor, baby. We did it.
Fucking tea dosage, bro. A little bump, bro. Shane, you got high tea. No, I don't think I do. Yeah, you do. Super high tea. You haven't had it tested? Fuck no. That's a sign of high tea. Yeah, you're like, I know. I don't need to have some pussy doctor tell me what my number is. I've also, I've been doing my best. I've been a crybaby. What do you mean? I mean, we always talk about it, but I was just, you get done with a long weekend. Like, I was in the UK. I was fucking totally exhausted. I came back home and I was like, no.
I was like, the fuck am I doing again, dude? Obviously, I'm just hungover, so I'm sad, but it's like, cut it out. Although with high T comes high estrogen because they do kind of couple. Oh, really? Yeah, if you have high T, you usually have high estrogen as well. Yeah. Because your body has to, that's why sterile bodybuilders, they take estrogen blockers because their estrogen raises with the T. Is that why they get titties? I don't know. Maybe. Could be.
Could be. Or maybe they're just in the gym working on it. Maybe they just worked hard and finally got the results. They got big woman's tits. Rockin' tits. I'd be in the gym like crazy if I could get woman's tits on my butt naturally. You can. Dude, you ever see those like jacked fucking, they have. Really? It's funny. Sometimes, yeah, I'll see a dude in a movie that's supposed to be like a jacked, ripped guy. And he is, it's just because his pecs are gigantic.
But just a smooth set of woman's tits. Damn. Yeah. Small nipples. Yeah, tiny nipples. Ooh. Yeah, dude's nipples poking out of their shirt is for real like the opposite effect. I see a dude's nipples out of their shirt, I'm like, bro. Yeah. A woman is like, this is, what have I done to deserve this sight? Dude, if I see a hard nipple on a guy, nipples on a guy. Oh, yeah.
I mean, these dry fit fucking polos, this nipples, it's a nipple show. Yeah. Your nipples aren't poking out. Not right now, but I'll get them going. If you were to broad set AC kicks on. Do you ever run in the cold and your shirt rubs against your nipples? Your nipples get all chafed. That hurts. It hurts like hell. I get that normally. If I wear the wrong shirt, if I get a shirt with a patched on logo, my nipples get, or a dress shirt. You have giant nipples. You think I have giant nipples? No, I don't.
My nipples are good. I think you have perfectly normal nipples. They're perfectly normal, dude. I just wanted to put that on someone. I instantly believed it. I was like, I guess I do. No, you have great nipples. I have beautiful nipples. You have big nipples? No, I have nice little Puerto Rican nipples. Do you really? Little fucking brown pepperonis. Yeah. You've been sending me some shirtless pics. I have been sending Shane some shirtless pics. Every time he makes progress in the gym, I think it's just for me.
yeah i think you go to the gym to be like shane check what i've checked what i've done to my body post immediate post pump picture oh yeah it's the best i do it in the dude from i get in the steam room i come out i have a glistening glaze on my body bro and i send it to shane i'm like look at this bro this is nothing sam hyde has been sending me nothing but pictures and facetimes from when he's in the sauna and he puts the phone at his feet and goes
Dude, I wish I had that confidence because Sam Hyde specifically tries to make himself as ugly as possible. I'm like, he just has whatever it is, like the way he's wired. He's like, no, I'm going to look at like the biggest fucking ugly freak. He's high T for sure. Oh, he's super high T. That's like, yeah, that's a problem. Yeah.
Yeah. Super high tea. Super high tea. Too much. Super high tea. There's no way you're low tea. Go back and fight the doctors. I'm going to go back. That's the proof of high tea. Yeah. I tried to get him to put me on testosterone. He was like, no. It's not even like a scam where he was trying to get me to like. He was like, no. He was like, you smoke and drink every day. He was like, stop doing that. That's a long sell. Getting rid of smoking and drinking is low tea. That's a low tea activity. That's literally a girl decision. Yeah.
You drink too much. Shut up, bitch. That's the slow sell, too, to be like, dude, I'm on your side. He's going to do the same test. He's going to print a fucking furniture fax off his printer. Oh, yeah, dude, you actually dropped. That's crazy. You're fucked. He's on the semen scale. But that's cool. Yeah, that'll be fun.
It is cool to look forward to. I say it all the time, man. If you get older, you can just smash the T button and go nuts. Just go, dude, double whatever they say. Just go, I'll double that up. Double that up. See what the fuck happens. I watched a video because they were like, dudes are taking, I watched this last night. They're saying a lot of dudes are finding out theirs are average and taking it. And they're like, it's only for people who are very low. Yeah. Well, I think it really, if you're high T, taking more T doesn't really bring your T up. Right? I don't know.
Also, there's a question of absorbing it. You could put it in there. You might not be able to absorb it. So whatever. That'd be cool. I think it'll be a lot of it too. It'll just be nice. If I'm getting injected by anything by a doctor, I'm going to be like, oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. You'd like it. Yeah, I would like that. I hate it. I hate taking blood. I hate taking needles. Yeah, I'm not a big fan actually. Can't do it. This would be like a needle in your butt, I'm pretty sure. Okay, I can do that. No, I'm not trying to be like you're making it hard. You put a needle in your butt cheek.
So I'm very self-conscious about my ass. So it's kind of flabby.
What? The doctor's gonna do it? You got a flabby ass? Dude, my butt sucks. Are you serious? Dude, my butt. This is also another female psyop. Men should not have fucking sculpted, cropped butts. No, I should have a nice... Dude, I bet Matt's ass is a fucking thing of beauty. I got a peach. Matt's got a dog. Matt does have a dog. I admired Matt's dog several times. Matt's ass must be just fucking beautiful. Just like on a shelf. He does have a nice dog. Yeah. I would...
I was watching White Lotus and the guy comes in and fucks a lady who has a giant sculpted ass. I was like, ew. Who, the Schwarzenegger? No, the guy when she fucks one of the Russian guys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He crawls in the bathroom and he had a fucking jacked ass and I was sitting here by myself and I was like, ew, what the fuck is that, dude? It's the guy's body. I remember she was dong. You're on a flight from London and you're like, Jesus Christ, will it ever end? Will it ever end? The moment is not going away.
did you did you watch that episode i'm caught up it's the funniest thing possible unbelievable kid there was a clip recently i saw online of him like finding out he was in white lotus with his family and he like crying and be like yes oh no he's also at a white resort he was his rich family's at like a beautiful resort yeah it's like i thought it was on set yeah that's funny yeah oh my god but then you get the script and you go
Wait, hold on a second. I know, dude. You're going to jerk your brother off.
Although, dude, I will say he's been, I'm so impressed by him. His acting is unbelievable. No, he's really good. He's unbelievable. This season's great. I mean, the first four episodes blew, but now we're fucking getting there. Now we're cooking. Now we're cooking. Episode five, episode six. It's really just brothers jerking each other off. But that's the funniest thing possible. It's hilarious. It's unbelievable. They kissed, and I was like, that's not that bad. Bro, if his dad would have blown his head off, that would have been the funniest day ever. You got jacked off by your brother, came home, and your dad blew his head off.
You always think it's because he knew. You're like, dude, this is definitely my fault. 100%. Yeah. It's also so sick being like, yeah, we blacked out. I don't remember anything. And he's carrying the memory the entire time of being like, when the girls confront him and he's just like, that didn't happen. Like, no, I watched it. And he's like, can we just stop talking about this right now? Yeah, I don't know. You have to kill yourself. That whole family might...
Suicide. Yeah. My mom was talking about it. She was like, I can't live any other way. I'd kill myself. Yeah, she might be the best character on the show. She's hilarious. Unbelievable. Yeah, Parker Posey. She's fucking hilarious. I got a theory of what's going to happen. Do you really? I heard a good theory, too. It's going to be Goggins and the Bulldogger go to try to fuck with that guy. The guy they've been trying to fuck with. Yeah. And then there's going to be a shooting at the place. And I think that's sweet.
guard is going to be the one to set it. He's going to get popped trying to protect his babe. I had the, I, my theory right now is the younger brother or the older brother wants to keep that rumor at bay. Cause there's two girls. No. So he might want to fucking murder is these fucking sluts. I think so. That's a fair one. I heard a really good theory from one of my producers.
They think a monkey gets a hold of the gun because they keep on showing monkeys. I had a feeling somebody from Legion of Skanks was going to come up with the dumbest part.
Could be multiple shooters. It could be he brings his gun back from Bangkok and then he hears maybe a suicide shot go off. He's thinking it's the other guy and he fires. There could be multiple gunmen all firing at each other. You don't think it could be monkeys? I hope it's monkeys. I hope it's monkeys. That'd be the funniest thing possible. Like one of those little fucking capuchin monkeys. If we just got to watch a family fall apart and then get killed by a monkey, that'd be great.
Yeah, that would be... You got jerked off by your brother and then a monkey shot you. True. But I can get past being jerked off by my brother if we were both blacked out on drugs. No chance. But you remember...
It's not you. It's like you guys chose to do it. No way. Never, ever. I don't have a brother. Maybe I have to have a brother. Yeah. Do you have a sister? I have a sister. Can you imagine doing drugs and her jerking you off? Yes. I would kill myself. That's different, but still fucked up. Your brother jerking you off? I mean, it's not ideal, obviously. I don't have a brother. I can't. I mean, dude, I like was watching it. Sisters, it's all hell. It's hell, for sure. But dude, having a brother jerking you off is crazy.
You and baby Billy. That's crazy. I was sitting there with, I was watching it last night with Brittany and she was like, I was like, dude, he's like visibly sick. And she's like, do you think you would get sick from that? I thought about it, immediately felt sick. And I was like, yeah, I guess so. I was like, yeah, that made my, it turned my stomach immediately. Yeah. Who's your brother? It would suck if it was one of your boys. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's like you and me did something and I, you know, you ended up.
I feel like our situation would be different. Our situation would be different. If we like kiss just to make it a funny joke and then you ended up stroking me, that'd be fucking crazy. Our situation would be different. Yeah, our situation. We'd have a different sitch. Yeah, that'd be different. He was his brother. To be fair, to your point, Lewis, his brother was plowing. So there was a woman involved.
So it's just the South Park episode with the aliens. Well, they're like, oh, God, you suck in my thing with like the Jewish aliens. No, I didn't see that. It's great. It's a reality show and these aliens are coming to cancel it, which is just they're going to blow up Earth and then the boys go and hang out with them and they start to blow and they fucking suck each other.
Anyway, that's what it reminds me of. Just to hang over the next day being like, oh my God, what did we do? Yeah, you do have to bury it and move on. You could file that under like that was a truly wild night. Yeah, that was just drugs. If it was like, if they're completely sober, I would understand like wanting to fucking kill yourself. But it's like, you know, people do crazy shit on drugs. That's true. The problem is, this is the thing I was wondering about.
is it like something where he's like dying to relive it that could be part of his revulsion because they were like kind of like he was like showing his brother's ass and jerking off yeah there's a lot of weird like incestual shit even like uh the arnold schwarzenegger son like with the the the sister he was like is she a virgin i was like she's hot like why is she not like yeah it's like so we it was a weird sort of conversation yeah and then the younger the younger brother and the younger the sister sort of have like a little bit of like they're a
Well, the older brother is like just a sexual pig and then it's just coming full circle. Like the thing that he prizes the most. The older brother rules. It's all we've been talking about. The whole weekend, that's all we've been talking about. Because I was with DeRosa just calling people pigs and that's the funniest. The best. We had the pig rankings of all of our friends. He was the top pig. Really? He was the top pig. I can't say it here. You can say it. I'll tell you later. It was the funniest. Give me the first initial, the first name. Nope.
But it was funny because he'd be furious. Really? The top pig? That's a compliment. I'm hoping it's true. I think if you just do it. I don't know. Yeah, I could guess. How do you define a pig?
Just pig behavior, dude. Just the trowel. You put out the fucking slop in the trowel and they're fucking... Drink, drugs, women. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The most vice-versa, man. Top pigs. Maybe you. I'm up there. I'm a good pig. That's why I assembled. On this trip, I took O'Connor and DeRosa. Yeah. I needed the pigs to ride in. I'm not going to go to the UK and fucking not be pigs. You know, pigs choose a best friend.
I saw this on my Instagram algorithm. Yeah. They choose a best friend and they'll have sleepovers with them. What? Yeah. They are super smart. Yeah. I feel bad about eating bacon. Every time I see those like pig pet Instagram videos, I'm like, fuck, it is kind of like eating a dog. They're great guys. Yeah, they're awesome. We had a pig when I was growing up. We had a little pig kicking around. What'd you do to it? Just chilled. Actually, they're very sexual, by the way.
He used to hump. We had like an exercise ball. Yeah, dude. We had an exercise ball. We threw it in the pen and it just like for real in front of all of us just humped it and jizzed all over it. And we were all like, damn. Dogs are like... Dogs are the same. They're just very like...
It's almost like, aren't you embarrassed? Like, you don't just fucking hump your leg and cum. Oh, yeah. You jack off on airplanes. Not in front of anybody. Imagine your loved ones who are like, that's just like jacking off in front of your family, just cumming on the couch. I mean, dude, that's exactly what you would do on an airplane with no societal training. If you saw like a hot flight attendant, you would just go up to her and start being like, no, all right, fucking...
Okay. He's like, walk back. Maybe be like, come on. They just like fight. You just fight your dad. Go sleep by yourself in the corner. Dogs do growl a little bit when they fuck. Do they really? Yeah. They bite the back of the other dogs. A little Shay Shay. Shay.
How was it, UK? It was awesome. It was nice? It was nice. Yeah, it was fucking great. But we went to the UFC fight on Saturday. I didn't know there was one out there. Yeah, it was in the same... I was doing the same room the next night. It was great. But we were sitting there and we were up close. The chair next to me had Jared Leto on it.
And I was waiting the whole time. I was like, damn, Jared Leto's about to sit next to me. This is going to be crazy. I'm going to fucking talk to him about Thin Red Line. He just never showed up. I was like, fuck. What?
But it was nice. A guy from Philly beat the fuck out of Leon Edwards. That's sick. Yeah. Sean Brady. And the entire, anytime he had him ground and pound, cause the whole, it was in London. So everyone's cheering for Leon. Anytime, the whole time it was ground and pound and Brady was just fucking destroying him. And I was just sitting there going, go birds, go birds. They, I haven't watched it back, but you have to be able to hear it. That's awesome. And then after he won, he was like, all right, thank you guys so much. Go birds. Oh,
Then they played Meek Mill. It was just the nicest moment. That's awesome. Yeah. He beat Leon Edwards' ass? Fucked him up. Dang. Yeah, it was crazy. I got to meet Louis Thoreau. He was with us. That was awesome. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That dude rules. Yeah, he ruled. Might be one of the best investigative documentarians ever. Yeah, he was the fucking man. Ever motherfucking do it.
Dennis, what the fuck is that? Noel Gallagher came and hung out at the London show from Oasis. Oh, really? Yeah. He's the fucking man. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, apparently there's a lot of drama with that whole band. I didn't know. Oasis? Yeah, apparently. I could be wrong, but I remember watching something on it. They haven't been together in 16 years. Yeah, I mean, that story might be more famous than any song they've ever made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that the Gallagher brothers hate each other. Yeah, it's some bullshit.
They're not talking about fucking White Lotus. Maybe Liam jerked him off. Yeah, they gotta watch White Lotus. I mean, yeah. Would you like a wank? How about a wank? I did that on stage. That's funny. Because I was talking about jacking off and I was like, oh yeah, you go, how about having a wank? It was nice. That is the funniest way to say it. Dublin, uh, I was talking about black people in Dublin boot. What? It was so funny.
When's Conor McGregor going to become the president of Ireland? They hated him. Did they? I was shocked how much they hated him. Really? He's a piece of shit. He's one of the top pigs. He's one of the top pigs. Oh, he's a huge pig. Yeah, true. One of the all-time pigs. Oh, yeah, dude. Dude, rape is a very big... It's the pigs. It's one of the biggest pig qualities. And he got, for sure, busted. See, I thought it was allegations.
until the people that were in Dublin were pretty confident. Oh, no. I think he lost. Yeah, I heard he lost the case. Damn. And then he punched some old guy at a bar one time.
Dude, if you just like, if you. He for real pigged. Like he. He's a pig. Yeah, dude, beating up old people, pig behavior. Pig. He like morphed his entire physical. Yeah. His being just morphed in like a year from pigging out. But also, like if an old guy's talking shit to you at a bar, at what point do you punch him? There's a moment where you're like, yo, I fucked this dude. I'm going to just beat this old guy's ass.
Yeah, I'll be honest. I wouldn't mind whooping the hell out of an old man every now and again. I'll be honest, bro. Just his bones are breaking. They're all brittle. Yeah. Yeah. You can only take so much. But, I mean, as a UFC fighter, you can't beat up an old man. Well, the guy, he tried to buy the old guy. He was like hammering on coke. He tried to buy him a drink. And the old guy was like, I don't want a drink. And he was just offended that he wouldn't take his drink. So then he punched him. Yeah, that's...
though. It was his own whiskey? People hate his whiskey. He was like, fuck that. I mean, that's setting yourself up for his people. If you're like a rich guy starting a whiskey company in Ireland, everyone there is going to be like, I don't want your fucking whiskey. It's terrible piss getting out of it. That's just a recipe for a giant Irish spaz. That's the best whiskey I've ever had in my life. Don't talk about me whiskey. How dare you talk about me whiskey? Man.
no i don't i mean every every place over there london's fucking great yeah dublin rules uh yeah it was awesome yeah i just i can't get over they everyone american outlets should be universal everything over there every other country on earth does suck and going to it's fun while you're there but then just little things that are different for no reason they the water they never give you water
You can't get water. There's no ice for some reason. Yeah, that's fucked up. Ice is a delicacy there. They literally wait. I got the hotel room service knocked on my door. And I was like, what's up? And they were like, ice? It was just a fucking tray of ice.
I was like, no, bro. Are you serious? What the fuck's going on? Why are they so anti-ice over there? They hate ice and they hate air conditioning. I will say ice is a low T thing though. I said no. Yeah. But where is it? You should have it. You should have room temperature water. Room temperature water. Love room temperature water. That's what I drink. See my brother up there? Sitting out. Love room temp. It's my favorite thing. Yeah. I'm big room temp water, but if a country is being like, we don't really do ice, I'm going to be like, that's fucked up. Yeah, it's stupid. Yeah, bring some ice up. Air conditioning, they despise. That's weird. Yeah.
It's light switches. Nothing makes sense. Yeah, they have like turny dials and sideways light switches. They need to put their pride aside and realize America figured out. Yeah, I mean, we have the best plugs. Best plugs. No doubt. Bro, their plugs have like voltage limits on them. Yeah. You can't plug in. Their plugs are like weird, wonky, like alien shape. Yeah.
It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for the rest of the world and their domestic electrical appliances. They're 50-50 on deodorant. No AC. There's never air circulate. I don't think there's a ceiling fan in Europe. They don't have fucking lights in the ceilings either. It's all lamps and shit. I can get down with lamps. I do like lamps.
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Rated M for mature. Yeah, actually, I got shocked recently. We bought shock pads for our couch for the dog. Dude, I got fucking rocked trying to pick those things off the couch. I thought you sat on it. No, no, no, no. I was trying to roll them up and I hit the power button once. You'd think like you hit the power button, the thing turns the fuck off. Yeah. All it does is they give you a thing saying how many times the animal attempted to touch it.
Which apparently one day, I don't know if this is right, but it said 23. Is it Jackson? Matilda. Oh, man. Matilda was, and now she sleeps like on the other side of the entire, she doesn't even go near. These are like pads that give electrical shocks if your animals try to go on the couch. And I always, whenever I'm doling out a punishment, I do like to try to like see what's up. So I look, I touched it, nothing. I'm like, man, I was kind of like pussy touching it. Like, no, this is not on. And then I thought I turned it off and picked it up and I was like, no, no. It fucking rocked me. You're sort of shitting everywhere you put your tongue. Yeah.
Dude, and then I hit a button again. Now you're afraid of the couch. It got me three times. What? Yeah, dude, because I kept trying to hit the buttons. I'm like, it's got to be off. And I would start picking it up and just crush me. Got to hold the button down. Three times? Yeah, dude, it fucking rocked me. I had three attempts on the meter.
You had too much maca on the brain, bro. You took too many supplements. You can't get shocked three times it's on you. I know. That was my bad. But I also was just like, how hard can this thing be? I got a little buzz. I was like, whatever. Second, once I gripped it, I was like, damn. How's your cut? Did it heal up? Fully healed. Oh, nice. Fully healed. That's the supplements. That's the subs, bro. I would have been scarred for three more years. Really? Yeah. No, that's the subs. I also swam for an hour today. I did one hour.
Dude, it was... I've never swam that long. You get into an actual flow state with swimming, might be... You just kept on doing laps? I took breaks, don't get me wrong. I took breaks, and I did my aqua aerobics in between, so I would run, go back and forth, which is...
People are sitting on their decks outside this morning. I always watch people get up. I mean, because I'm not a good swimmer. So hard. Yeah. But dude, once the first 20 were rough, once I got into like minute 30 and I can't do free, like I can only do this one. I was doing just a slow, continuous breaststroke.
Dude, at one point I did do like, it's only like probably 25 meters, maybe back and forth or whatever. But the when I did like 10, like this up, down, up, down, up, down, you get into a flow state where you just feel like a fucking crocodile, dude. It's awesome.
Was in the water just gliding through the slow - I was moving very slow just gliding through and I was like dude I gotta start doing alone just with your thoughts myself You can't no music you can't you can barely hear anything and like when you when you can't like keep going you start going underwater like obviously Yeah, it sucks. So you're like you have this weird like primordial panic kind of fueling you especially when you're really tired You're like I got to make it to the other side. You're like I would die if this is a real I can't swim two laps
I could run for like 4 or 5 miles pretty easily but I can't swim for shit it's totally different dude it's crazy it's so fucking hard I tried doing backstrokes I was doing all the strokes too backstroke's impossible until you got that butt how do you see where you're going you can't see where you're going how are you going to do that you gotta check the markers on the pool I might set out some markers that's how you do it
I was just looking at the pool by my feet and being like, all right, I'm that far away. And then towards the end, I would just do a little. Yeah, you got to stick your hands out. I was trying to invent new strokes, too. That was tough. That's tough. I came up with one where it was just a feet kick, and I just go like a platypus. That's not very useful. Yeah, swimming is where it's at. The only reason I'm doing it, my left knee's been fucked up.
So I had to take it to the water. Of course. Take it back to the source, dude. You might be a seal. Dude, I for real felt like that. It's hard to explain. When you do an hour, and again, I was taking plenty of breaks. I can't swim continuously for an hour. But when I got on my nice stretches, it's maybe the best feeling ever. So check it out. Hell yeah. I don't know what it does for the T. It's got to help the T. I would hope so. It's got to help the T.
I don't know why. I'm trying to get like hard ass boners too. I'm like, what am I doing? Like I've been ripping these like fly flight dude. I don't care. Every now and again, what happens to me on a flight? If I had been drinking the night before, I'll get like devilishly horny on a plane. Yeah.
devilishly. Yeah. I was with Oasis the night before in the O2 arena. Damn. Had a couple drinks. All of, just the one Oasis? Just the one. They're never together. That's fucked, man. Yeah. But they're going back on tour.
What yeah hell freezes over for Oasis yes, they're coming back dude. I'm excited for that dude boy He told the brothers just slip into Wonderwall. They're gonna look at each other like I'm sorry brother I was being a bit of a cunt wasn't on He invited me to go bring whoever you want damn they're gonna do MetLife
uh soldier field in the rose bowl sick in the united states sick and then they're gonna do mexico city and i was like maybe i'll do mexico mexico city would be tight yeah so much of mexican oasis fans hilarious probably a lot of mexican oasis fans yeah i would have to imagine oasis would hit the lads pretty hard yeah well who's gonna build the wonderwall
come on folks come on folks i was working on that what yeah and i was like it's too it's so bad it's so bad yeah thought about it i was like they might get scared of wonderwall they're a very dreamy bunch the lads they are they're very dreamy i can see them getting down with some oasis for sure what do you think
The Latinos? No, Mexicans specifically. Puerto Ricans, I think, would hate Oasis. Puerto Ricans would get angry and try to fight Oasis. What other hits they had? They had Wonderwall. Champagne Supernova. Champagne Supernova. What's it called? Don't Look Back. True.
true that one album was just banger after banger yeah what's is the what's the story is the name of the album yeah yeah it's gotta piss you off of your oasis and then you're like getting a fight with your brother and then coldplay comes out of nowhere like dude we could have been coldplay yeah they probably fucking can't say they were like the new beatles like for a very they were crushing it and i mean they still you know they're both hilarious are they really watch any clip of them getting interviewed they're the funniest that's sick
One of them, I forget which brother it was, but there's one that's like, how do you deal with hangovers? He's like, straight back to the pub, no questions asked, don't dwell on it. You're like, fuck it, dude.
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I can't even put it into words. It would be like for real if like... It's probably like AI. If the stock market made music. Exactly. It is very AI-ish. Some of the songs are just emojis. Just like the world emoji is one of the songs. What do you mean? Like for the song title on Spotify, there's no words. It's just like a globe emoji. Fuck them. Fuck them. Dude. I like sat down and I was like, let me see what they're up to. And I tried to get into their latest album and I'm like, bro, this is insane.
But it's like genius from a perspective of like if you're trying to gather a ton of like 17 year olds or whatever. And I am. Hold on. What are we talking about here? Dude, I was I can't get over the I was listening to I was in the obviously I was in the car with my wife and I was listening to Not That Innocent. That's all my Britney. I did it again by Britney Spears. Yeah, it's a tough one that came on and I was just like, dude, hey, she didn't write this.
They were definitely adults writing those songs for children. And that was the craziest period. Just to think about, like, we took so many kids. American Beauty came out. I just watched American Beauty for the first time. I never saw it. I saw it on the flight.
oh it's fucking hilarious it's awesome great movie did make the boners a little uncomfortable oh yeah true yeah all these hot teens she's a hot yeah high school kid constantly also like that's the with uh whatever thora birch she's actually underage and does that nude scene her parents signed off on a nude scene who which one thora birch one with the big tits i didn't know that the daughter or the other lady the daughter
So when she's... I'm surprised Kevin Spacey would be involved in something like that. But she was like 16 when they filmed it and they filmed the nude scene with a 16-year-old girl. That's called a loophole, folks. Getting the permission slip? The field trip permission slip? You get to just watch child porn in American Beauty because it's art? I was watching it on the plane with a fucking boner.
Yeah, but here's the thing. Shane, you already had a boner. If I was your lawyer, I would say, if it pulsed, did it pulse? That's your business. Did not pulse. Don't disclose that. We can talk about that. Did it pulse? That's confidential. That's lawyer client confidentiality. Hold on a second. I have to talk to my attorney. Pulse like crazy.
I'd like to ask for a brief recess. Covering your face. Oh, yeah. I'd like to have that thrown out, Your Honor. Objection. Yeah, that's all that matters. You get a boner.
The pulses are, that's your, even that, I could argue a pulse too. I could stand in front of the good people and argue a pulse, but guys, that could be anything. It could have been anything. It'll glitch for the Twitch. Not that 16-year-old's rocking tits on an airplane. Her huge, her huge bare breasts. They were covered in flowers. That was the one thing the movie did. Didn't they cover, I don't know, that was Nina Savari. The other girl shows her boobs. You do know these girls' names. What? What?
True. Hey. I can't believe you know the daughter from American Beauty's name. Dang, it's turned into a pedophile hunter. Thora Bircham. Thora Bircham? I don't know any of the adult names. I've never heard that name. I don't know a single adult's name in that movie. That's a crazy deep cut, too.
No, Thora Birch. Yeah. How do you not know her name? Who's the girl from Fast and the Furious? What other movie is she in? You're the one who gets Scott. You have high D, bro. Yeah, dude. What are you talking about? I'm pretty sure Mina Suvari was an adult in that movie. Like, in real life. What about Birch? What are some other movies you enjoyed her in? I don't know.
I don't know. I can't name a single other Thor movie. Who's the actress in that old Romeo and Juliet movie? Oh, dude, I loved her. If you know this, you're out of your fucking mind. No, no, no, I got it. Fuck, I got it. I really have this. She just died. What? Yeah, that's how I know about this. I didn't know about this. Yeah, she was like 16 as well. This was another CP thing.
Yeah, they just filmed it. Was that Leo, too? Was it the Leo? No, no, no. That was fucking flat-chested Claire Danes. Show those little shitty titties in your mind. What was that guy's name? He might be Mr. Celeb, or what was that? Dude, what's her fucking name, dude? Give me the first letter. Fuck. I don't know. Olivia, Olivia, what was the last name? Olivia Hussey. Yes.
I just got a slutty name. You're going to get punched at Walmart, dude. You're going to get punched at Walmart, dude. All-time top picks. You're going to get caught at Walmart. Olivia Hussey, yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Because when I was in high school, they showed us that, and we were all just like, she was so hot. What happened in that one? They just showed like a negative. They also showed that guy's butt, Romeo's butt. I never saw it. He had a sweet rocking ass. What?
Romeo's ass was fucking delightful. We should get more. Yeah, there should be more representation. We were like lusting after this girl. When's the last time you saw High School's Fair? I mean, we think we watched it on Legion of Skanks. We looked it up. It's not illegal. It's not illegal. Yeah. What? To watch it now. If it's in a movie. If it's in a movie. Yeah. I might have been in the room.
That's why I'm like, where do I remember this from? Yeah. But you don't see like, you do only see rocking asses from men on TV. We got to start. Nice dog butt on. Yeah, man. Well, yeah, nobody's showing their like, dude, my ass. I feel bad. Like I get naked in the locker room now with my little pud and my fucking flabby ass. It's so funny. I just do it to make everyone else uncomfortable.
Everyone else in the locker room has a flappy fucking crazy hat. If you're showing your ass and your dick, it's because you have a nice ass and a nice dick. The other guys put a towel around themselves, take their underwear down underneath the towel. I don't do that anymore. You just rip it. Yeah, I rip it. That's nice. That's good. It's pretty sick. It's important. Yeah. I'm at that age where I feel good naked in a locker room around other men. I was thinking about that today. They're like, dude, gay dudes, it rules for them. They just go to a locker room and just see all these hot dudes with their cocks out.
Like, they should have their own locker room. Nothing hateful there. I'm just saying, they should put gays in their own locker room. They deserve that perk in life. Yeah. All the bullying, all the stuff. They got to peep your dong. Yeah. It's only fair. Speaking of gay guys, I watched this documentary on the Joplin tornado.
What happened with that thing? It's just a giant F5 tornado that ripped through the middle of the town and killed like 160 people. Damn. But they filmed this documentary. Every person that was in it was gay. What? They interviewed like three different people that were clearly gay. One of them was a young boy newscaster from San Diego that wanted to be a meteorologist. And he was corresponding with an adult meteorologist from Joplin.
They had a little thing going and he was like, I'll tell you what, we usually get crazy storms in May if you want to come by. No. And then the mom was like, I'm coming with you. What the fuck? So I think that guy might have been caught at Walmart by the mom, but then had to be like, nah, it's just a storm. I don't know. Storm chaser. But then the kid happened to be there when the most devastating storm ever happened. Was his mommy there too? Mom was there. Damn. They made it out. They were all right. Thank God. If you get killed by a tornado. Also, thank God you didn't get a...
You can get rocked by it. Oh, dude, you serious? You go into a basement, you're fine. Then the house falls on you. I don't understand how that works. It's the biggest tornado ever. The house gets lifted up. It's the biggest tornado ever. They got fucking killed. I don't believe it. It would fucking rock you so hard. Dude, they were trying to drive away from it. Any natural disasters, I just don't buy. I was in a hurricane. They were trying to drive away from it. One group was getting chased by it. One of the dudes got sucked out of the sunroof.
Who, the kid who went over there to hang with the old man? No, no, no. He made it. But it was a different kid that, you know. He got pulled out of the sunroof of a car? I keep calling them all gay. Yes, he got launched out. I mean, that's kind of sick. That's a great way to die. If you got to die, well, yeah. No, apparently it fucking hurts because it's all debris. You're just getting hit by glass and dirt that's going 300 miles an hour. Just cows hanging in the fucking gym. You're getting hit by the worst shit ever. Entire houses flying. Dude, no.
Yeah, I feel just thought you got launched like super high and fell I didn't realize all the debris would fucking the debris just hurts sting brother one Because it ripped through all this old dead soil and dead Vegetation it had
fungus in the air that was like a flesh-eating fungus that got into people and killed a bunch of people. Oh, no. Yeah, it was... They had a flesh-eating fungus in their dirt? Everyone does. That sucks. Yeah. You're thinking about your garden. Yeah, I mean... I saw that face. I've been playing it fast and loose with my hands in the garden.
I just added another roly-poly to my garden today. Dude. You added it? I find them. I find them walking around. I keep them in my hand and toss them in my garden. That's nice. What do they do? They're just good. They break stuff down and eat other pests. Nice. Very beneficial for gardens. I didn't know that. I was fucking with roly-polies my whole life. So, yeah. Everyone. Just watching those fuckers when I find them. Everyone fuck those things up. Watch it roll up and you go. Toss them. Yeah.
Yeah, it was like smashing. Sure, they were fine. I used to tear the legs off of daddy long leg spiders. Yeah, and the legs still twitch. It's just a little fucking ball. I'd love to condemn you, but I've seen a couple of those legs come off and keep moving. Yeah, they just keep, yeah, it's pretty sick. Yeah. Damn, so you turn it into just a fucking head? Just a fucking little ball. Just a daddy. Just a regular daddy. Yeah.
That must be crazy. Just be a fucking legless daddy long leg trying to like interpret the world and just sitting there like. It's got to be terrifying. Yeah. Sucks. Poor guy.
But yeah, we used to do stuff like that. Frogs, all that shit. Yeah. I never did anything. A handful of like bugs I would torture, but not really even torture. I mean, I guess it's torture. If you're tearing all of its limbs off. Yeah. Yeah. It's literally a medieval torture. Do you think it hurts? I did that to William Wallace. To a daddy long leg. Say mercy. We fucking...
Yeah, but did they hurt them? Here's the thing. Because they say they don't have the pain receptors, but even if it doesn't hurt, it's still got to be experienced as a giant inconvenience. Yeah. Yeah. To just be like, you know, on your P's and Q's trying to munch some ants and all of a sudden you just, all your legs have been ripped off. You're just rolling. Not even rolling. They can't even roll. At that point, they just. Kind of just a disc. They're just like a little observation point. They're just. Until they die. Yeah, probably quickly. Yeah. Yeah.
It's probably sweet for birds, though. Do they grow their legs back? No. Not like worms. In my head, they grew their legs back. Worms can do some weird stuff like that. Yeah. But no, I don't think a daddy long leg spawns legs. I don't think they could survive the period of growing new legs. You know what crabs do? What? You ever watch them rip off their claw? No. Yeah. They'll rip off their own arms. They get bigger, better? Yeah. Shit. They'll take its one fucking claw and just go... What the fuck? And just sit there. What?
crabs are that you ever watch moose shed their and deer and shit i've seen their antlers that is pretty sick just standing there and they go like this and both their antlers fall off and they get scared i've never seen them knock them off i've just seen them just like scratch now they'll fucking literally just shake their head and their antlers fall off and then they take off it's pretty fun and it's pretty tight anyway that should probably be the end of the episode bigger betters how are we doing
Oh, I thought we were well past. Never mind. I was going to switch over. I know you guys have – I know you have to get to your Mr. Beast interview. Yeah, true. I have an interview with Mr. Beast. What if I have Mr. Beast himself interviewing me? That'd be cool. That'd be great. We'll see. He did Kill Tony with me and Matt. Oh, did he really? Yeah, he did give me a little inside. Get me on, dude. I'll try to help. Get me on. That would be the best. Talk to Mr. Beast for me. That would be the best. It would also add a lot of viewers. I promise. But otherwise, actually your viewers – yeah. No, they don't want my viewers.
Yeah, true. You'd be in the middle of taping. They'd be like, actually, we're taking you home. No, I hope you get that. Unless you stop naming underage girls that have been naked in movies. It's like, well, I'm just saying. It's not your fault they were in the movie. Yeah, it's not my fault. I'm sorry that I'm a movie buff. Yeah, you're just a consumer. Yeah. That is crazy to be a director. Like, what trophy are you going at? Like, you don't need it. You could totally... Bro, it was totally fine until after American Beauty. It made it that far.
Yeah, I think American Beauty is the last one where they put a child, a naked child in the movie. That is true. You know, yeah, at that time we definitely were like parading kids around and like putting them in makeup and making them sing. Remember like Brooke Shields in fucking, what was it, The Blue Lagoon? No. Dude, when I was a kid, I would beat my dick until it was fucking...
I mean, until it was in pain to that movie. And I believe she was a genuine child. How old was Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon? She had to be like...
Yeah, maybe. All right, LeMaire. He's like, oh, yeah, 14. I've heard. I feel like I heard of this movie when I was younger. Like, my older brothers would talk about this, but I don't remember. Yeah, it was like a brother and sister. Also, that kid's ass was sweet in Blue Lagoon. 14, nailed it, LeMaire. Dang, LeMaire, that's even worse. LeMaire, one of the all-time pigs.
Yeah, dude. They just... What was she doing in the Blue Lagoon? It was her brother and her were shipwrecked, and then they were on an island, and they were both just naked the whole time, and they start banging. And that's the whole movie. Her brother? It is just a straight-up child-born movie. Incest child-born, too. Yeah. I believe that was the premise of it. I don't know. I never got past the first 15 minutes. It's the Blue Lagoon. Oh, they're cousins. They were cousins. He had a sweet ass, I remember. Yeah.
Hold on, Your Honor. And they couldn't get off the island? They waited as long as they could. They had to repopulate the island with Southerners. Yeah, dude, they start banging into, I guess, Korea to society. I have no idea. I don't know if they ever get rescued.
I remember seeing her as a kid being like, she's so beautiful. I mean, yeah, that's a wretched thing to put onto a kid's mind, being like, and then this guy gets stuck with his cousin on an island, they have sex, they're 14, and you're like, I know exactly what cousin. I know exactly which cousin I'm thinking of. Like, Mom, I'd like to do a carnival cruise. We don't see each other as a family.
Every time that boat rocks, you're like, this is it. It says online that they did use a body double for the nude scene. Oh, man. You've been jacking off to the wrong scene. I've been jacking off to an adult? Not for the boy, though, just for her. Sweet Edward back. The boy was 18. And it's suddenly awesome again.
Damn, shout out to that kid. That boy. He was 18, dude. Sweet ass. His name was Chris Adkins? I know that. Did you just know that? Okay. I know who Christopher Adkins is.
Let me take a look at this movie. Also, as a casting director, it's going to be crazy to be like, we're trying to have someone who can pass as a naked 14-year-old girl. And then they got to... That might be the ultimate transcendent pig who got to go through the lineups. Oh, man, this is child porn. It's straight-up child porn, dude. It's crazy. What the fuck? That's the...
Oh, dude. I'm just looking at the posters for the movie. Looks like they remade it. In 2012, Blue Lagoon, The Awakening. Probably two 40-year-old fat lesbians. Eric Bross and Mikkel Solomon were the directors and put those boys on the list. Wait, the remake? Yeah, they remade it.
You know how many times you have to watch the original movie to remake it? Yeah, that's nuts to remake, to be like, let's run that one back. Although Romeo and Juliet, technically they were probably like 12. In the original story? That was back then, dude. Shakespeare times, that's when you'd have a baby. You'd marry and have a baby. Life expectancy of like 25.
so yeah no that's true i'm not gonna put that on them it is weird though that every every like a lot of women's shows are centered around high school romance that's true yeah so that was that was that show on hbo now with zendaya yeah euphoria but even before that all those like soapy wb things they're all like high school things like a lot of like adult women would watch
And it's just, it's like high schoolers like making out and simulating sex scenes. Well, that was like that movie, It Follows. It's about high school kids. Do you see It Follows? I love that movie. It was pretty sick. Yeah. It's a fucking horror movie about an SCD. I'll tell you what gets me going. Stranger things. Shows hot as hell. Yeah, It Follows is pretty wild though.
It's actually the first time I was scared in a movie in a long time. Yeah. Really? That's the one where the... You've seen It Follows. I've never seen it. There's a scene where the thing that It Follows just turns into Pedro. Looks exactly like Pedro Salinas. Really? It's so fucking funny. I've never seen that. Oh, it was me and Beezer. Okay. Loved that fucking movie. Was that a Stephen King? No, that you're thinking of It. True. No, he did a new movie. He did a new show that was on HBO like five years ago. Yeah, that was...
About a guy who was like the same place in two places. It was kind of like The Stranger or some shit. The Outsider. Yeah, it was The Outsider. That's what it was. The Outsider. Yeah. We're at an hour. Hell yeah. Let's go. Let's go straight into the Patreon. Yeah. We've got plenty more incredible stories for you. For sure. Lewis is going to give us more tips on kid nudity movies.