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cover of episode Empowering yourself by setting boundaries with family with Catherine Ebs

Empowering yourself by setting boundaries with family with Catherine Ebs

2024/12/2
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Mean Girl

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C
Catherine Ebs
J
Jordyn Woodruff
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Catherine Ebs: 为了保护自己的精神健康和婚姻关系,Catherine和丈夫选择搬到远离家人的德克萨斯州。长期以来,她一直是家人遇到问题时的依靠,这让她身心俱疲。在婚姻初期,家庭纷争也影响了夫妻关系的和谐。搬家是为了避免家庭成员之间的嫉妒和纷争,也是为了创造一个更平静、更利于个人成长的环境。父亲去世后,她与部分家人的关系变得紧张,难以设定界限。部分家人不理解她设定界限的行为,试图控制她。她认为血缘关系并不一定意味着核心家庭成员,真正的核心家庭成员应该互相支持。婚姻关系建立了新的核心家庭,血缘关系是次要的。她鼓励大家勇敢地离开原生家庭,去寻找属于自己的幸福和宁静。远离家人后,她的精神状态明显改善,生活更加积极阳光。她分享了自己与家人相处过程中遇到的挑战和焦虑,以及如何通过设定界限来维护自己的身心健康。她强调,每个人都应该为自己而活,不要为了取悦他人而牺牲自己的幸福。 Jordyn Woodruff: Jordyn认同Catherine的观点,并分享了自己的经验。她认为,血缘关系并不一定代表核心家庭成员,真正的核心家庭成员应该互相支持。她认为,距离能帮助人们更好地选择和维系关系,而不是被迫维系。她鼓励大家勇敢地设定界限,并指出,通过心理治疗,可以更好地理解父母的行为,并对家人和他人更有包容心。她强调,每个人都应该意识到父母也是独立的个体,拥有各自的经历和感受。她还分享了自己与父母关系中的一些挑战,以及如何通过距离来改善彼此的关系。她认为,伴侣应该支持彼此在社交媒体上的发展,并理解其内容的性质。网络上的负面评论并不能代表现实生活中的关系。她建议,婚礼应该以新人的意愿为中心,而不是为了取悦他人。 Catherine Ebs: 在选择订婚戒指方面,她建议女性应该拥有决定权,因为戒指是她们每天都要佩戴的饰品,应该选择自己喜欢的款式。她分享了自己选择实验室培育钻石的经验,并大力推荐这种更经济环保的选择。她认为,选择订婚戒指应该以双方都满意为前提,而不是单方面决定。她还分享了自己与丈夫在婚礼筹备过程中的经验,以及如何平衡个人意愿与家庭期望。她建议,婚礼应该以新人的意愿为中心,而不是为了取悦他人。 Jordyn Woodruff: Jordyn也分享了自己对选择订婚戒指的看法,她认为伴侣之间应该互相尊重彼此的意愿,共同做出决定。她认为,选择订婚戒指应该以双方都满意为前提,而不是单方面决定。她还分享了自己在处理朋友关系方面的经验,以及如何处理朋友身处有毒的关系中的情况。她建议,如果友谊对自身造成伤害,需要考虑是否应该结束友谊。如果朋友身处有毒的关系中,需要谨慎处理友谊,需要判断朋友是否被操控,以及是否值得继续维护友谊。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Catherine Ebs decide to move away from her family?

Catherine felt exhausted from always being the one her family called for help, which took a toll on her marriage. She wanted to create a healthier, more balanced relationship with her family by not being so reliant on them.

How has moving away from family impacted Catherine's relationship with them?

Moving away has allowed Catherine to choose her relationship with her family, making it healthier and more peaceful. She feels more in control of her boundaries and has noticed a positive change in her mental well-being.

What challenges did Catherine face in setting boundaries with her family?

After her father's death, Catherine struggled with her stepmother, who often tried to manipulate situations and create tension. Setting boundaries was difficult because her family didn't always respect her need for personal space and independence.

Why does Catherine advocate for lab-grown diamonds?

Catherine believes lab-grown diamonds are ethically superior and cost significantly less than mined diamonds. She emphasizes that they are chemically identical to mined diamonds and allow for more customization in design and size.

How did Catherine and her husband Raphael meet?

Catherine and Raphael met in Minnesota when he came into the bank where she worked. They exchanged Snapchats and kept bumping into each other at various locations before officially dating.

What was the turning point in Catherine's relationship with her husband Raphael?

The turning point came during the COVID-19 lockdown when they spent 24/7 together, learning to rely on each other without external distractions. This period tested their relationship and strengthened their bond.

How does Catherine handle toxic friendships?

Catherine suggests taking a step back from the friendship, potentially reducing contact to one-on-one interactions without the toxic partner. She believes in giving the friendship time to evolve and not ending it with hostility.

What are Catherine's favorite restaurants in Minneapolis and St. Paul?

Catherine loves Red Rabbit and Red Cow in Minneapolis, as well as Handsome Hog, which has the best espresso martinis. She also recommends visiting Stillwater for a beautiful experience.

What book recommendations does Catherine have for fans of Abby Jimenez?

Catherine recommends Abby Jimenez's books

Chapters
Catherine and Jordyn share their highs and lows of the week, including a bad haircut experience at DryBar, a trip to New York, and dealing with period symptoms.
  • Jordyn had a negative experience at DryBar, where a trainee did her hair and it looked bad, despite paying full price.
  • Catherine enjoyed a trip to New York with her mother.
  • They discuss period brain and how it affects their mood and cognitive function.

Shownotes Transcript

In this week's episode, Catherine Ebs joins Jordyn Woodruff to discuss how to empower yourself by setting boundaries with family. The two also talk about lab-grown diamonds, why it's important for the woman to help pick out her engagement ring, and dealing with crazy periods!

Timestamps:

00:00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Mean Girl Pod!

00:04:55 Roses & Thorns

00:14:35 Get to know Catherine Ebs

00:18:35 Setting boundaries with family

00:31:13 How Catherine met her husband

00:44:25 Lab-grown diamonds

00:50:45 Should couples pick out engagement rings together??

00:58:10 Listener question: toxic friendships

01:04:48 Recs of the week!

01:07:48 LOVE YOU GUYS!


Follow us on instagram at @meangirlpod, Alex @justalexbennett and Jordyn @jordynwoodruff

Follow Catherine Ebs on instagram at @catherineeebs


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