He wanted to open the floodgates and see what came in, realizing later that it was essential and important for this kind of forum. This approach drew stories out of people who otherwise would not have told them, creating a safe space for sharing personal experiences.
Over two decades, his life has seen significant changes, including his children growing into adults, the end of his 29-year marriage, and the death of his father. These experiences have made him more open to the range of human experiences shared in the column, using it as a touchstone and tool to navigate difficult times.
It emphasizes the beauty of impermanence in connections, teaching the importance of being present and appreciating what you have now rather than fearing loss. The fleeting nature of any connection makes it precious and beautiful.
It redefines love by showing that conflict and fighting can deepen a relationship, challenging his previous belief that a successful relationship was one without conflict. It teaches that resolving conflicts leads to a deeper understanding and connection.
It highlights the bravery of making difficult choices in the face of uncertainty and the inexplicable bond between parent and child. The essay teaches that bravery is a core act of love and life, and that life often requires embracing messiness and unpredictability.
He advises using a good subject line that includes an attempt at a title, showing humility rather than overconfidence, and presenting a problem in an interesting way that makes readers think about it. The story should be about a search for answers rather than providing definitive solutions.
When Daniel Jones started the Modern Love column in 2004, he called for submissions and hoped the idea would catch on. Twenty years and over a thousand published essays later, Modern Love is a trove of real-life love stories.
Jones has put so much of himself into editing the column over the years, but as he tells Anna Martin, the host of the “Modern Love” podcast, the stories shared in the columns have influenced him, too. Today, he talks about three Modern Love essays that have changed the way he thinks about love and relationships.
Read the essays below:
One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please)
Nursing a Wound in an Appropriate Setting)
My First Lesson in Motherhood)
How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times)
How to submit a Tiny Love Story)
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