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cover of episode Three Powerful Lessons About Love (Encore)

Three Powerful Lessons About Love (Encore)

2024/12/4
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Modern Love

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Daniel Jones
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Daniel Jones在访谈中分享了二十年来编辑Modern Love专栏的心路历程,以及他从这些故事中获得的人生感悟。他谈到自己从一个对爱情和关系不太擅长的人,逐渐成长为能够深刻理解和体悟爱与关系的人。他认为,Modern Love专栏不仅仅是他付出的,也是他从中获得慰藉和人生智慧的来源。他的生活经历,包括子女长大成人、婚姻结束、父亲去世等,以及疫情的冲击,都让他对爱情和关系的理解更加深刻。他认为爱是人类存在核心,Modern Love专栏涵盖了各种人际关系,不局限于浪漫爱情。他选择开放式投稿模式,而非委托知名作家撰稿,这一决定让他意外地获得了大量高质量的投稿,并发现了许多不为人知的动人故事。他分享了三篇对他影响深刻的文章:《One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please》、《Nursing a Wound in an Appropriate Setting》和《My First Lesson in Motherhood》。第一篇文章让他体会到珍惜当下、活在当下的重要性;第二篇文章让他意识到冲突和解决冲突是加深关系的关键;第三篇文章则展现了父母对孩子的无条件的爱和勇气。他认为这三篇文章都体现了勇气,而勇气是爱的核心组成部分,也是人生的核心组成部分。他认为,比起追求完美无瑕的人生,活在当下,珍惜眼前人才是更有意义的。最后,他还分享了一些关于如何撰写Modern Love投稿的建议,他认为好的投稿应该体现谦逊,展现对答案的探索而非答案本身,并以引人入胜的方式呈现问题。 Anna Martin在访谈中与Daniel Jones进行了深入的交流,引导他分享了个人经历和对爱情、关系以及Modern Love专栏的看法。她积极地回应Daniel Jones的观点,并引导他深入探讨了文章中体现的主题和意义。她还就听众可能感兴趣的问题,例如如何撰写Modern Love投稿,提出了相关问题,促使Daniel Jones分享了更具体的建议。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Daniel Jones choose a submission model for the Modern Love column instead of commissioning stories from famous writers?

He wanted to open the floodgates and see what came in, realizing later that it was essential and important for this kind of forum. This approach drew stories out of people who otherwise would not have told them, creating a safe space for sharing personal experiences.

How has Daniel Jones' personal life influenced his approach to editing the Modern Love column?

Over two decades, his life has seen significant changes, including his children growing into adults, the end of his 29-year marriage, and the death of his father. These experiences have made him more open to the range of human experiences shared in the column, using it as a touchstone and tool to navigate difficult times.

What does the essay 'One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please' teach about love and relationships?

It emphasizes the beauty of impermanence in connections, teaching the importance of being present and appreciating what you have now rather than fearing loss. The fleeting nature of any connection makes it precious and beautiful.

How does the essay 'Nursing a Wound in an Appropriate Setting' redefine love for Daniel Jones?

It redefines love by showing that conflict and fighting can deepen a relationship, challenging his previous belief that a successful relationship was one without conflict. It teaches that resolving conflicts leads to a deeper understanding and connection.

What lesson does the essay 'My First Lesson in Motherhood' impart about bravery and love?

It highlights the bravery of making difficult choices in the face of uncertainty and the inexplicable bond between parent and child. The essay teaches that bravery is a core act of love and life, and that life often requires embracing messiness and unpredictability.

What advice does Daniel Jones give for submitting a story to the Modern Love column?

He advises using a good subject line that includes an attempt at a title, showing humility rather than overconfidence, and presenting a problem in an interesting way that makes readers think about it. The story should be about a search for answers rather than providing definitive solutions.

Chapters
This chapter explores Alicia Gorder's essay, "One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please," focusing on the unexpected connection between grief, flowers, and the beauty of impermanence. It highlights the importance of presence and appreciating the fleeting nature of relationships.
  • The essay "One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please" by Alicia Gorder initially appears lighthearted but takes a poignant turn with the revelation of her boyfriend's suicide.
  • The author's reflection on the impermanence of flowers connects to the preciousness of life and relationships.
  • The chapter emphasizes the importance of being present in relationships and appreciating the moment.

Shownotes Transcript

When Daniel Jones started the Modern Love column in 2004, he called for submissions and hoped the idea would catch on. Twenty years and over a thousand published essays later, Modern Love is a trove of real-life love stories.

Jones has put so much of himself into editing the column over the years, but as he tells Anna Martin, the host of the “Modern Love” podcast, the stories shared in the columns have influenced him, too. Today, he talks about three Modern Love essays that have changed the way he thinks about love and relationships.

Read the essays below:

One Bouquet of Fleeting Beauty, Please)

Nursing a Wound in an Appropriate Setting)

My First Lesson in Motherhood)

 

How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times)

How to submit a Tiny Love Story)

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