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cover of episode He Saved Me. Now It Was My Turn to Save Him.

He Saved Me. Now It Was My Turn to Save Him.

2024/11/13
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Modern Love

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A
Anna Martin
L
Laura Cathcart-Robbins
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Laura Cathcart-Robbins: 作者讲述了她同时面临严重安必恩成瘾和婚姻破裂的困境。在看似光鲜的婚姻背后,她感到巨大的焦虑和不真实感,因为她不得不扮演一个自己并非真正热爱角色。她对安必恩的依赖日益严重,严重影响了她与两个年幼儿子的关系,并让她担心在离婚中失去孩子的抚养权。进入戒毒所后,她经历了极度痛苦的戒断反应和绝望的情绪,一度想要逃离。然而,她在戒毒所里意外地与一位名叫斯科特的男子建立了深厚的联系。斯科特虽然外表粗犷,但内心善良,他的陪伴和支持帮助作者度过了最艰难的时刻,并最终让她放弃了复吸的念头。作者在戒毒所里与斯科特发展了感情,但他们都明白,康复和家庭才是最重要的,因此他们将彼此的关系放在了次要位置。离开戒毒所后,作者面临着离婚调解和维持与孩子的关系的巨大压力,但斯科特依然给予她精神上的支持。在离婚调解中,作者的前夫出乎意料地没有争夺孩子的抚养权,这让她松了一口气。最终,作者在康复的过程中,与斯科特建立了长久的爱情关系,并共同经营着幸福的家庭和戒毒互助小组。 Anna Martin: 主持人引导Laura Cathcart-Robbins讲述了她克服成瘾和婚姻危机的经历,并深入探讨了她与斯科特之间非比寻常的爱情故事。主持人关注了作者在戒毒过程中经历的痛苦和挣扎,以及斯科特在其中扮演的关键角色。主持人还探讨了作者在离婚调解中面临的挑战,以及她如何平衡康复、家庭和爱情之间的关系。主持人对作者和斯科特的故事表达了赞赏,并强调了他们关系的特殊性和成功之处,以及他们对彼此的救赎和支持。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Laura Cathcart Robbins decide to check into rehab?

Laura was struggling with a severe Ambien addiction, taking up to five to ten pills per night, often mixed with alcohol. She feared losing custody of her children due to being deemed an unfit mother, which drove her to seek help.

What was Laura's initial reaction when she arrived at the rehab facility?

Laura felt out of place and overwhelmed, comparing herself to others with more severe issues like multiple DUIs or repeat rehab visits. She felt like she didn't belong and considered leaving immediately.

How did Scott S. 412 initially come across to Laura?

Scott was initially annoying to Laura, with his casual demeanor and loud Hawaiian shirt. However, she noticed his kind eyes and calm presence, which later became a source of comfort for her.

What role did Scott play in Laura's recovery process?

Scott became a crucial emotional support for Laura during her rehab stay. He helped her through moments of intense grief and anxiety, and his presence made her feel less alone, ultimately helping her stay committed to her recovery.

Why did Laura decide to bring Scott to Los Angeles after rehab?

Laura felt a deep sense of responsibility to help Scott, who had saved her life in rehab. She was concerned that without a change of environment and support, he might relapse, so she arranged for him to come to L.A. and live in a sober living facility.

How did Laura's divorce mediation go, and what was the outcome?

The mediation went smoothly, with Laura's ex-husband not contesting custody. They both prioritized their children's well-being and agreed to maintain a family unit, with him moving out but still participating in family events.

What was the key difference in Laura's relationship with Scott compared to her previous marriage?

In her relationship with Scott, Laura didn't feel the need to perform or hide her true self. Scott fell in love with her at her worst, and their relationship was built on authenticity rather than potential.

How long have Laura and Scott been together since meeting in rehab?

Laura and Scott have been together for 16 and a half years since meeting in rehab. They dated for six years before moving in together, maintaining a strong focus on their recovery and family.

Chapters
Laura Cathcart-Robbins, a Modern Love essayist, recounts the challenging period in her life when she decided to divorce her husband and confront her severe Ambien addiction. She describes the seemingly idyllic life she had with her husband, a successful director, while also detailing the internal conflict and anxiety she faced.
  • Laura initiated divorce proceedings after 16 years of marriage.
  • She had a serious Ambien addiction, escalating to 5-10 pills per night.
  • Her addiction jeopardized her custody of her children, prompting her to seek help.
  • She checked into a 30-day rehab facility in Arizona.

Shownotes Transcript

When Laura Cathcart Robbins checked into rehab for a severe Ambien addiction, all she could think about was getting out and going home to her two young sons. Laura was also in the middle of a divorce and facing a possible custody battle so she wasn’t looking to make her life more complicated. Laura tells the host Anna Martin about the unexpected bond she formed during the worst 30 days of her life and what happened when she came out the other side.

This episode is adapted from Laura’s 2024 essay, “Marriage Made an Actor Out of Me).” Her memoir, “Stash: My Life in Hiding)” is available now, and she hosts a podcast called “The Only One in the Room).”

What were your worst dates of 2024? We’re working on an episode about the dating memories you want to forget. We want to know: What was the worst date you went on this year? What happened? And what do you want to do differently when it comes to love in the new year? You don’t have to be single to share your story. If you’re partnered and went on an awful date, we want to hear from you, too. Send us your story by recording a voice memo (just a few minutes long) and emailing it to [email protected]). Please include your name and where you’re from. You might hear your voice on a future episode of Modern Love.

How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times)

How to submit a Tiny Love Story)

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts) or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.